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标题: fairy作文贴每日练习ING [打印本页]

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-23 11:38
标题: fairy作文贴每日练习ING
独立写作为主，二战T主攻作文。加油！=^_^+
各位看官尽管狠拍～

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-23 11:39
7月23日 2010.3.12NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

People watch television for different purpose. Some are addicted to soap operas, TV series and films, while others prefer to watch everyday news, interviews and educational programs. For most children, televison is a way of entertaining as it offers various TV dramas and cartoons. And parents have to control children's time spended on television programs since children themselves are not self-disciplined enough to turn off the television at a proper time.

To some extent, it is true that spending less time on television can result in a better performance in one's study. This is because the time wasted on watching meaningless soap operas and other entertaining programs could be better used in other self-promotional activities like reading books and doing homeworks. For people who are addcited to televsion series, they would wonder about what happened next in the story and therefore could not easily concentrate on their study. Thus, the effectivness of learning will soon deteriorate. My personal experience told me that television not only waste my time when I watches the uselss programs, it exxerts long-existing bad effect on a whole day's work as well. My friends and I, after watching a tv entertaining program or drama, discuss the plot and movie stars all day long, even in the class. Therefore, televison diffuse our attention on studies as well as cost much of our time on meaningless entertaining and chatting, which lead to a discounted performance in school.

However, if children watch educational and informational programs, parents should allow them to finish the program since they could broaden children's horizons and inform them with current issues happening around the world. Programs like introduding a business leading figure, interviewing with an successful artist, reporting the story of an excellent senoir student and explaining the history of the country with abundant video and pictural informations are a good source of extra learning besides school education. As a result, children would be inspired by the success of the figures in TV interviews or be enriched with plentiful knowledges, which will benefit their study at school. Therefore, parents should let children finish these programs. Still, if a student use too much time on watching these programs that they have no time to finish homeworks, parents had better ask them to turn off the televsion.

Regardless of whether children wacth meaningful TV programs or not, a reduced time-spending on televison does not necessarily lead to a good performance at school. The fact is that watching television and studying are not the only two activities children can do. In other words, apart from time costed on television shows, children may also waste their time on other entertaining like computer games, sports games, shopping, sleeping and aimless chatting.

In sum, generally parents should limit children's television watching for the reason that TV programs will reduce time and distract concentration on learning. And they should ask their children to transfer the time wasted on tv to that on learning in order to make them do well on campus. Yet admittedly, some programs are educational and beneficial, and thereby could help children do better in school.

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-7-24 11:33
绿色为总结蓝色为建议或意见红色为错误高亮为精彩

7月23日 2010.3.12NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do wellat school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.Use specific reasons to support your answer.

People watch television for different purpose（purposes 复数比较好吧）.Some are addicted to soap operas, TV series and films, while others prefer towatch everyday news, interviews and educational programs. For most children, televison (television) is a way of entertaining as itoffers various TV dramas and cartoons. And parents have to control children'stime spended (spent) on television programssince children themselves are not self-disciplined enough to turn off the television at a propertime.

To some extent, itis true that spending less time on television can result in a betterperformance in one's study. This is because the time wasted on watchingmeaningless soap operas and other entertaining programs could be better used inother self-promotional activities like reading books and doing homeworks (homework). For people who are addcited (addicted) to televsion(television) series, they would wonder about what happened next in the story（纯属建议in the following story）andtherefore could not easily concentrate on their study. Thus, the effectivness （effectiveness）of learning will soon deteriorate. My personalexperience told me that television not only waste my time when I watches the uselss (useless) programs, it exxerts (exerts) long-existing bad effect on a whole day's work aswell. My friends and I, after watching a tv (去掉即可) entertaining programor drama, discuss the plot and movie stars all day long, even in the class.Therefore, televison (television) diffuse our attention onstudies as well as cost much of our time on meaningless entertaining andchatting, which lead to a discounted performance in school.

However, if children watch educational and informational programs, parentsshould allow them to finish the program since they could broaden children'shorizons and inform them with current issues happening around the world.Programs like introduding (introducing) abusiness leading figure, interviewing with an successful artist, reporting thestory of an excellent senoir (senior) studentand explaining the history of the country with abundant video and pictural informations (information)are a good source （我觉得用复数 good sources 比较好）ofextra learning besides school education. As a result, children would beinspired by the success of the figures in TV interviews or be enriched withplentiful knowledges (knowledge), which willbenefit their study at school. Therefore, parents should let children finishthese programs. Still, if a student use too much time on watching theseprograms that they have no time to finish homeworks (homework),parents had better ask them to turn off the televison (television).

Regardless ofwhether children wacth meaningful TV programs or not, a reduced time-spendingon televison (television) does not necessarilylead to a good performance at school. The fact is that watching television andstudying are not the only two activities children can do. In other words, apartfrom time costed (过去分词直接用cost就可以) on television shows, childrenmay also waste their time on other entertaining like computer games, sportsgames, shopping, sleeping and aimless chatting.

In sum, generallyparents should limit children's television watching for the reason that TVprograms will reduce time and distract concentration on learning. And theyshould ask their children to transfer the time wasted on tv （TV）to that on learning in order to make them do well on campus. Yetadmittedly, some programs are educational and beneficial, and thereby couldhelp children do better in school.

To fairy:
1.注意单词拼写问题&一些名词诸如homework、knowledge、information的可数不可数问题
2. 雨巷梳理了一下脉络：
第一段提出了观点：应该控制时间
第二段：论述了为什么要控制时间
第三段：讲了有些电视节目还是比较好的，父母应该让孩子们看完
第四段：看电视时间的长短并不直接影响孩子在学校的表现
第五段总结：父母应该限制看电视的时间，但是部分节目还是很好的。
然后，我觉得fairy的结构其实可以采用常用的五段式方法的。
第一段提出论点
第二、三段分别用分论点分别论述论点（就是说fairy可以将第二段扩展为两端，分别提出两个分论点来支持为什么要限制时间，而不是有点儿大杂烩式的放在一整段里）
第四段让步，也就是可以讲讲可以看一些有教育意义的电视节目之类的吧
第五段总结一般来说是要紧靠主论点的。
又或者说fairy是想写两边倒的文章？这个雨巷就不能给出自己的意见了，因为雨巷从来写过，也不太懂。
总之，一般来说，独立一般是采用五段式的结构，fairy可以看一些文章之后，总结一下。
加油哦\(^o^)/~

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-25 10:46
To 雨巷：
看到你的认真批改和留言，让我干劲十足！！Thank u sooo much!!!

我觉得我思维太跳跃了..所以每段想表达的东西可以能有点模糊掉了..以后要注意：）

唉可能是GRE作文写多了。看着看着就要挑题目的逻辑错误..托福作文不看重这个？？

凹，我想表达的太多了，结构木有安排好，谢谢雨巷的很好的建议！！我会改进的哈哈！！一起加油也

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-25 13:49
7月25日
110304NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problemsin today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.

What is the most important problems in today’s world? Different people have varied views on that issue. For economists, the most disrupting problem may be the financial crisis, while for doctors it may be curing cancers. In terms of astronomy, the greatest concern may focus on sending people to live in other planets, whereas when it comes to politics, better policies and governmental administration are urgently needed. Despite all the differences, I hold that all these important problems in today’s world would not be solved in this era.

In the first place, the limitiation of intelligence and materials restrain the present generations in solving the most important problems. Although with the fast development of technology, our life have changed into a more effevtive and fascinating one compared with the past, we still want to have more. For instance, medicians are trying to colon people in the way they replicate animals; doctors try hard to invent elixir which could extend people’s life spance; atronomers takes great effort in living in space which have thin oxygen and little water supply. All those dreams seems impossible to ahceive due to our limited technology and knowledge, yet it may come true after we die. Just like Da Vinci failed in his flying machine experiment, but Wright brothers accomplished the task by inventing the areoplane.

Additionaly, more time is needed in order to evaluate the principles we practice nowadyas. Consider one of the most controversial issue in politics: will socialism benefit the country and live long? Is capitalism a better choice? Max thought it would be the best social structure, yet he himself could not see the real result. The fact is many things people are now using and practicing are new, it's hard to see the possible result of them. Therefore, the problems raised by things which are still at the primitive stage requires time to solve.

However, there are problems of great importance which can be solved in everyone’s lifetime. Of all ages, the nature of humans are the same. Therefore, difficult problems which happens frequently like divorce, disabusing children and betrayal of the beloved one, can be solved within one’s lifetime. Although it is a concurrent issue that the bad part of human nature like lust, jealousy, wrath drives people to commit huge mistakes, people of all eras can overcome them with the shining part in them, namely forgiveness, industriousness and persistence.

In the final analysis, the most important problems could not be sloved in our lifetime due to the restriction of technological and theoretical development. And the short span of a life time is not long enough for a comprehensive observation of some important issue, so they could only be solved in the following generations. Nevetheless, big problems concerning human nature can be overcomed in a lifetime.

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-7-26 18:49
TO fairy
雨巷木有考过GRE，木有写过GRE的作文不太了解
但帮忙问了一下，托福作文不是ARGUE，就是说重点的考察不在于逻辑，至于挑题目的逻辑错误就更不用了吧
但文章本身的逻辑还是要有的，比如说分论点支持主论点，例子支持论点等等
一般来说就是两种写法：一、选择题目的一方面来说二是两个都写不过好像新东方的老师不建议第二种，大家也绝大多数选择第一种
其实我感觉，这个独立和口语第二题差不多了呵呵
加油哦

7月25日
110304NA
Do youagree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems intoday’s world will be solved in our lifetime.

绿色为总结蓝色为建议或意见红色为错误高亮为精彩

What is (are) the most important problems in today’s world? Different peoplehave varied views on that issue. For economists, the most disrupting (disturbing?) problem maybe the financial crisis, while for doctors it may be curing cancers. In terms of astronomy,the greatest concern may focus on sending people to live in other planets,whereas when it comes to politics, better policies and governmentaladministration are urgently needed. Despite all the differences, I hold (+ theview?) that all these important problems in today’s world would not besolved in this era.

In the first place, the limitiation(limitation) of intelligence andmaterials restrain the present generations in solving the most importantproblems. Although with the fast development of technology, our life havechanged into a more effevtive(effective) and fascinating one compared with the past, (+ 连接词and或者另起一句，一句话不能有两个句子) we still want tohave more. For instance, medicians(medics) are trying to colon people inthe way they replicate animals; doctors try hard to invent elixir which couldextend people’s life spance; atronomers(astronomers) takes great effortin living in space which have thin oxygen and little water supply. (这句里的例子，尤其是 invent elixir的例子，fairy还是再考虑一下吧，感觉和important problems不是很相关) All those dreams seems impossible to ahceive(achieve) due to our limitedtechnology and knowledge, yet it may come true after we die. Just like Da Vincifailed in his flying machine experiment, but Wright brothers accomplished thetask by inventing the areoplane(aeroplane).

Additionaly(Additionally), more time isneeded in order to evaluate the principles we practice nowadyas(nowadays). Consider one ofthe most controversial issues in politics: will socialism benefit the countryand live long? Is capitalism a better choice? Max thought it would be the bestsocial structure, yet he himself could not see the real result. The fact ismany things people are now using and practicing are new, (+ 连接词and或者另起一句，一句话不能有两个句子) it's （it is托福里不能简写奥） hard to seethe possible result of them. Therefore, the problems raised by things which arestill at the primitive stage requires （require）time to solve. （雨巷认为至少还应该论述一下，这个more time是在our lifetime更长的时间）

However,there are problems ofgreat importance which can be solved in everyone’s lifetime. Of allages, the nature of humans are （is） the same. Therefore, difficult problems which happens (happen) frequently likedivorce, disabusing children and betrayal of the beloved one, can be solvedwithin one’s lifetime. Although it is a concurrent issue that the bad part ofhuman nature like lust, jealousy, （+and） wrathdrives people to commit huge mistakes ( 把 like lust, jealousy and wrath 放在句末会不会好一点儿额) , people of all eras can overcome them with the shining part inthem, namelyforgiveness, industriousness and persistence.

In the final analysis, the most importantproblems could not be sloved(solved) in our lifetime due to the restriction of technological and theoreticaldevelopment. And the short span of a life time is not long enough for acomprehensive observation of some important issue, so they could only be solvedin the following generations. （额最后总结段，具体的例子是不是不用出现了）Nevetheless(Nevertheless), big problemsconcerning human nature can be overcomed(overcome) in a lifetime.

Tofairy
1.还是单词拼写问题&主谓一致问题。一定要重视啊重视！这个问题雨巷也很严重。就是预留一定的时间检查吧。或者自己用word检查。
2.结构来说比前一篇好多了。继续加油哦\(^o^)/~多研究研究大神们的作文我觉得比一些书的范围还用的。(*^__^*) ……
鸟妈汇总的一个帖子可以去看看
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-723585-1-1.html
fighting！

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-27 11:03
7.26

Do modern people get more opportunities to get educated than people in the past do? Some agree that people now learns more easily thanks to the development of society. Others hold that modern people are overwhelmed with too huge amount of informations to hold on to. As fat as I'm concerned, the present generations can, on the whole, study with less hindrance than in the past. And my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, with the development of technology, more accesses of learning are available for modern people. In the past, books and teachers are the only sources possible for a student to learn. But nowadays, there are various ways for people to absorb knowledge, ranging from newspaper, online courses to television and summer schools. The fact is, attending college is no longer the only access for one to get educated: prestigious universities publicized their lectures towards online; television programs offer educational documentaries; universities provide summer schools with a wide range of majors. In the modern society, whatever one's age, annual income and intellectual level, he or she can have a chance to learn.

Besides, effective public policies of increasing the educational level of all the citizens has been widely adopted. As the world is facing a fast economic increase, the importance of intellectual capacity had been put forward as a way of measuring a big country. Therefore, a series of education-favored policies have been put into effect. For instance, the length of compulsory education has been extended several times, namely from primary school eduction to 12 years' long free education before the university entrance. In that way, students are given an equal opportunity of learning regardless of race, social status and economic strength.

However, it's hard for people to be concentrated on learning in the thought of the increasing accessibility of entertaining tools. The case is that modern people, though have more access to learning, are also more likely to be distracted by cell-phone games, computer games, chatting softwares and the like. For instance, one who studies online is likely to play online games or chat with his or her friends through social networks in the meantime, which will diffuse his or her concentration. Therefore, modern people are less likely to focus for a long period than people in the past do.

To sum up, with more favorable educational policies and a large amount of easily approachable educational sources, it's true that modern people are easily literated than those in the past. Still, an increasing number of entertaining tools lead to less efficiency in learning.

作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-27 14:06
绿色为总结蓝色为建议或意见红色为错误高亮为精彩

Do modern people get more opportunities to get educated than people in the past do? Some agree that people now learns(learn) more easily thanks to the development of society. Others hold that modern people are overwhelmed with too huge amount of informations(information不可数名词) to hold on to. As fat as I'm concerned, the present generations can, on the whole, study with less hindrance than in the past. And my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, with the development of technology, more accesses of learning are available for modern people. In the past, books and teachers are the only sources possible for a student to learn. But nowadays, there are various ways for people to absorb knowledge, ranging from newspaper, online courses to television and summer schools. The fact is, attending college is no longer the only access for one to get educated: prestigious universities publicized their lectures towards(towards应该不用吧) online; television programs offer educational documentaries; universities provide summer schools with a wide range of majors. In the modern society, whatever one's age, annual income and intellectual level, he or she can have a chance to learn.

Besides, effective public policies of increasing the educational level of all the citizens has been widely adopted. As the world is facing a fast economic increase, the importance of intellectual capacity had been put forward as a way of measuring a big country. Therefore, a series of education-favored policies have been put into effect. For instance, the length of compulsory education has been extended several times, namely from primary school eduction to 12 years' long free education before the university entrance. In that way, students are given an equal opportunity of learning regardless of race, social status and economic strength.

However, it's hard for people to be concentrated on learning in the thought of the increasing accessibility of entertaining tools. The case is that modern people, though have more access to learning, are also more likely to be distracted by cell-phone games, computer games, chatting softwares and the like. For instance, one who studies online is likely to play online games or chat(chats) with his or her friends through social networks in the meantime, which will diffuse his or her concentration. Therefore, modern people are less likely to focus for a long period than people in the past do.

To sum up, with more favorable educational policies and a large amount of easily approachable educational sources, it's true that modern people are easily literated than those in the past. Still, an increasing number of entertaining tools lead to less efficiency in learning.

楼主写的很好啊.错误很少.举例论证的例子很精彩.很好.有很多精彩的短语和句子!
ps:作文写好了记得把"占座"改成链接,不然我以为你还没写好呢~

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-28 15:49
7.27

The world is now facing a speedy development of technology and economy, which therefore makes modern life progress with quick pace. Most people are overwhelmed by huge volume of informations, and how to handle them becomes an urgent problem. How can we tell important informations from useless one? Which events should we concern and which should we ignor? As far as I’m concerned, it is not necessary to know things happened worldwide, which virtually exerts little influence on people’s daily life. My reasons are listed as follows.

To begin with, knowing things happened in other countries is not only of no use to daily work, but a waste of time as well. For instance, the knowledge of crazy Christmas shopping in USA or electronic failure in Beijing has nothing to do with one’s living in Shanghai. Therefore, events taken place in irrelevant areas are, to some extent, like stories written in fiction novels, which act like entertaining sources and which are of no sighinificance in real life. Instead of reading global news, we can spend our spare time on more beneficial activities like learning, playing with friends and doing sports.

What is more? It is very much likely that being acknowledged about events around world will stimulate one’s unnecessary negative emotions. Consider a person living in poor countries, reading articles about the advancement of the United States in education, political system and social welfare would result in disatisfaction of his own life or disillusion of his own country. Sequentially, that disappointing feeling will disvigorate him in his daily work. Impertinent informations are, in that way, reduce efficiency and disperse concentration in one’s actual life.

Yet I concede that some international events reports does something more than just informing people: they play a role as a social moralist or an educator. Watching Olympic games online or on TV raises the patriotic sense of the public; Viewing photos taken in slums activates people’s sense of thriftness and benevolence; Knowing the huge number of ice melting in North Polar urges people to protect the environment. Thus, certain global issues cultivate one’s moral sense which will guide their in daily behaviors.

In sum, concerns on irrelevant events around the world is generally time-wasting and mentally disturbing. People should thereby focus on daily activities within their immediate environment, which will influence their life. Still, some seemingly distant issues can be guidances for routine life and so need due attention.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-29 17:39
7.28

Do you agree or disagree, the way a person dressed is a good indication of his/her personality or character.

Will you judge a person through the clothes he or she wears? The answer of that question may diverge: some agree that clothing is a good symbol of one’s inner thoughts and characters; others holds that people do not actually wear what they really like. Regardless of the correctness of both sides, it is undeniable that first impression influence one’s opinion of others a great deal. And as for me, one’s clothes contribute to a large percent in my first judement of other people. And my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, the clothes people are wearing is a reflection of their flavor, which can show their personality and inner concerns. When shopping, people will buy clothes which they think is beautiful. Yet the criteria of prettieness varies from person to person. Young kids love clothes with vivid color and cartoon figures; youth like to follow the latest trend when choosing clothes; adults prefer clothings that are more professional and elegant. That is because people at different stages of life have their varied concerns. In addition, people of the same age dress disparately according to their personalities. Introverted youth favor simple clothes with less exaggerative patterns, while youth who want to gain much attention tend to wear strange clothes. Therefore, clothing is a way helping people display their dispostions.

Secondly, the way people dress themselves indicates the kind of people they want to become in front of others. For instance, conservartive girls will not wear exposive clothes for the reason that they do not want to be regarded as flamboyant, and thereby boys will not try to flirt with her. It is the colthes one wears that tell other people his or her attitude and propensity. Therefore, how people dressed is a good indicator of their personalities and value system.

However, some people may hide their true selves behind their clothes. Many people, especially teens, are not condifent or satisfied with themselves, and so they follow the latest trend and dress like their idols or friends. In doing that, they are not revealing their characters. And the opposite is true: those people hide their real personalities behind the maskerades and pretend to be someone else. Thus, the way certain people dressed acts like a veil which blurred other’s recognition of them.

All in all, I believe that the clothes one dresses are a good way of telling his or her personalities and dispostions beacuse one chooses clothes according to his or her flavor, character and and value system. Yet in certain situations, people are apt to disguise with clothes.

作者: pinkyhuayin 时间: 2012-7-29 17:49
7.27

The world is now facing a speedy development of technology and economy, which therefore makes modern life progress with quick pace. Most people are overwhelmed by huge volume of informations, and how to handle them becomes an urgent problem. How can we tell important informations (uncountable N )from useless one? Which events should we concern and which should we ignor ignore? As far as I’m concerned, it is not necessary to know things happened worldwide, which virtually exerts （which 指代 things的话，s就去掉吧） little influence on people’s daily life. My reasons are listed as follows.

To begin with, knowing things happened in other countries is not only of no use to daily work, but a waste of time as well. For instance, the knowledge of crazy Christmas shopping in USA or electronic failure in Beijing has nothing to do with one’s living in Shanghai. Therefore, events taken place in irrelevant areas are, to some extent, like stories written in fiction novels, which act like entertaining sources and which are of no sighinificance in real life. Instead of reading global news, we can spend our spare time on more beneficial activities like learning, playing with friends and doing sports.

What is more? It is very much likely that being acknowledged about events around world will stimulate one’s unnecessary negative emotions. Consider a person living in poor countries, reading articles about the advancement of the United States in education, political system and social welfare would result in disatisfaction of his own life or disillusion of his own country. Sequentially, that disappointing feeling will disvigorate 这个词我没查到 him in his daily work. Impertinent informations are 后面有动词了，该去了吧, in that way, reduce efficiency and disperse concentration in one’s actual life.
Yet I concede that some international events reports does something more than just informing people: they play a role as a social moralist or an educator. Watching Olympic games online or on TV raises the patriotic sense of the public; Viewing photos taken in slums activates people’s sense of thriftness thrift 就可以表示名词，楼主用的我没查到啊 and benevolence; Knowing the huge number of ice melting in North Polar urges people to protect the environment. Thus, certain global issues cultivate one’s moral sense which will guide their in daily behaviors.

In sum, concerns on irrelevant events around the world is generally time-wasting and mentally disturbing. People should thereby focus on daily activities within their immediate environment, which will influence their life. Still, some seemingly distant issues can be guidances for routine life and so need due attention.

1，首先是论述形式的问题，都说托福适合一边倒，我觉得还是有道理的。因为300字的议论文，如果写这种折中的话的，不小心就是这样的效果。观点不是很清晰。比如楼主这篇，而且在我看来，你第三段写的是最好的，明显比你得一二段，论证更有力，更加引起读者共鸣。这样的话，就是造成了主次不分的效果。反正，我是坚决在练习一边倒的写法。如果楼主想练折中写法即gre，gmat作文常用的话，保守估计，起码需要450字以上，才能成为一篇条理清楚，主题明确的文章。建议楼主慎用吧。当然，也可以现在拼命练啊，也能拿高分的哦。

2，还有就是一些基本名词单复数的问题，谓语动词，虽然感觉是基本小问题，但是这样的问题在考场上给阅卷人的印象不好啊，多注意。

3，还有就是一些比较漂亮的词，呵呵，说实话，有几个我都不认识呢，这方面我刚开始积累。不过，有个观点和楼主分享下哈。漂亮的词要用就要用对，才能接自己加分哦。当然啦，写作的时候，可能直接下笔了，但是后面还是要多多校正，确保只把正确的留在记忆里哈。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-29 23:25
7.29
The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

How a company spend its money directly effect its performance, and that's why it should concentrate money on the most rewarding aspect. And here comes the question: what is the most profitable way of investing? I fundamentally agree with the statement that spending money on training the employees is extremely advantageous for a company.

With an enhanced working performance, the employees would undoubtedly help their companies to get more clients and consumers. Many employers now realize the siginificance of promoting the work skills of employees: most of China's top barberies send their hairdressers abroad to Korea, Japan or US to learn the most trendy hairstyles so as to offer a more satisfiable service for customers; big fast-cosuming companies like Unilever and P&G arrange greenhand workers to go through a one or one-and-a-half-year professional training which hone their skills in consumer-dealing, product-promoting and the like. Equipped with better working method and more up-dated information, the employees are more likely to suit the need of customers, and thereby raise the reputation of the company they work for. As a result, more business would flow into the company, and that enables the company to gain more fortune. In that way, the money put on the training of employees, in reture, greatly benefits the company by inviting more buyers and investments.

Many employees, after receiving their companies' generous support for personal enrichment, continue to stay in the company and works really hard, as a way of showing their appreication. And it is because of their masterful skills and devoted attitudes that most of them get promoted quicker than others. Then, those employees who once had been the beneficiaries of the companies investment, now in a high position, can eventually teach the new comers what they have learned before. Therefore, the investment made by a company can have a far-fetching and siginificant effect on its future development.

Still, there are people who soon quite to fill a hole in another company who provides him a more promising future or bigger income. That leads to a great loss of his former company, which had spent much money on coaching him. However, I think that problem can be easily solved by signing a contract, where the employee agrees on a long-term service in the same corporation after finishing an advanced study funded by his firm, as a prerequisite of the investment.

In the final analysis, considering all the reasons above, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that the investment on sharpening employees work skills is rewarding and beneficial in a long run. Just remember to sign a contract in case of job hoping.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-29 23:40
To pink,

我再琢磨下怎么使观点更明晰统一一点。习惯了写有些让步的作文，嘿嘿
很赞同你关于那些小错误的看法！！我就是自己检查的时候看不粗啊T T...撞墙！！习惯成自然之后也是很可怕的。。。。

thritifness...我掉了个i !@@
第一遍写的时候就主要表达意思去了，后面修改的时候还要多酝酿一下词汇呀～

感谢指证：]

作者: hansxiao7 时间: 2012-7-30 08:37
Do you agree or disagree, the way a person dressed is a good indication of his/her personality or character.

Will you judge a person through the clothes he or she wears? The answer of that question may diverge: some agree that clothing is a good symbol of one’s inner thoughts and characters; others holds that people do not actually wear what they really like. Regardless of the correctness of both sides, it is undeniable that first impression influence one’s opinion of others a great deal. And as for me, one’s clothes contribute to a large percent in my first judement of other people. And my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, the clothes people are wearing is a reflection of their flavor, which can show their personality and inner concerns. When shopping, people will buy clothes which they think is beautiful. Yet the criteria(criterion？） of prettieness varies from person to person. Young kids love clothes with vivid color and cartoon figures; youth like to follow the latest trend when choosing clothes; adults prefer clothing that are more professional and elegant. That is because people at different stages of life have their varied concerns. In addition, people of the same age dress disparately according to their personalities. Introverted youth favor simple clothes with less exaggerative patterns, while youth who want to gain much attention tend to wear strange clothes. Therefore, clothing is a way helping people display their dispostions.

Secondly, the way people dress themselves indicates the kind of people they want to become in front of others. For instance, conservartive girls will not wear exposive clothes for the reason that they do not want to be regarded as flamboyant,(这个是奢侈么？不如改成frivolous轻浮的） and thereby boys will not try to flirt with her. It is the colthes one wears that tell other people his or her attitude and propensity. Therefore, how people dressed is a good indicator of their personalities and value system.

However, some people may hide their true selves behind their clothes. Many people, especially teens, are not condifent or satisfied with themselves, and so they follow the latest trend and dress like their idols or friends. In doing that, they are not revealing their characters. And the opposite is true: those people hide their real personalities behind the maskerades and pretend to be someone else. Thus, the way certain people dressed acts like a veil which blurred other’s recognition of them.

All in all, I believe that the clothes one dresses are a good way of telling his or her personalities and dispostions beacuse one chooses clothes according to his or her flavor, character and and value system. Yet in certain situations, people are apt to disguise with clothes.(建议把最后一句去掉或者放在前面毕竟YET强调的是后者）

楼主功力高深莫测。。。句型词汇都很棒不过我觉得不要为了用难词而用难词毕竟一篇作文的评分时间很短流畅和SPECIFIC才是关键楼主可以多SPECIFIC一些在排比之外用一些例子来改变一下举例子的方法这样会更好一点小小建议:-D 楼主没问题的

作者: hansxiao7 时间: 2012-7-30 08:43
How a company spend its money directly effect its performance, and that's why it should concentrate money on the most rewarding aspect. And here comes the question: what is the most profitable way of investing? I fundamentally agree with the statement that spending money on training the employees is extremely advantageous for a company.楼主的开头一向都很给力啊

With an enhanced working performance, the employees would undoubtedly help their companies to get more clients and consumers. Many employers now realize the siginificance of promoting the work skills of employees: most of China's top barberies send their hairdressers abroad to Korea, Japan or US to learn the most trendy hairstyles so as to offer a more satisfiable service for customers; big fast-cosuming companies like Unilever and P&G arrange greenhand workers to go through a one or one-and-a-half-year professional training which hone their skills in consumer-dealing, product-promoting and the like. Equipped with better working method and more up-dated information, the employees are more likely to suit the need of customers, and thereby raise the reputation of the company they work for. As a result, more business would flow into the company, and that enables the company to gain more fortune. In that way, the money put on the training of employees, in reture, greatly benefits the company by inviting more buyers and investments.

Many employees, after receiving their companies' generous support for personal enrichment, continue to stay in the company and works really hard, as a way of showing their appreication. And it is because of their masterful skills and devoted attitudes that most of them get promoted quicker than others. Then, those employees who once had been the beneficiaries of the companies investment, now in a high position, can eventually teach the new comers what they have learned before. Therefore, the investment made by a company can have a far-fetching and siginificant effect on its future development.

Still, there are people who soon quite to fill a hole in another company who provides him a more promising future or bigger income. That leads to a great loss of his former company, which had spent much money on coaching him. However, I think that problem can be easily solved by signing a contract, where the employee agrees on a long-term service in the same corporation after finishing an advanced study funded by his firm, as a prerequisite of the investment.

In the final analysis, considering all the reasons above, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that the investment on sharpening employees work skills is rewarding and beneficial in a long run. Just remember to sign a contract in case of job hoping.

楼主写的这篇棒极了！词汇很棒很恰当用句例子也超棒！不过美中不足就是长短句做的不是很好虽然这是一个通病但是要以楼主水平克服这个小问题就可直指30啦哈哈向楼主同志学习

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-31 12:36
7.30
好难写啊吐血。。。

Thanks to the high efficiency of technology, the world is progressing with a rapid pace. It is undeniable that the living standard now is much higher and the entertianing instrument, much diverse. Some may thereby assume that modern life is much happier. Yet the case turned out to be the opposite: people nowadays have more pressure in keeping up with the fast progression of modern society.

With the quick development of daily products like cell-phones and computer software, modern people always feel oblidged to learn something new. In the old days, ways of doing things remains steady, which thus makes people feel safe and satisfied with themselves. But now facing with an ever-changing society, people can not stop trying hard to follow the pace of technological development. Consider our daily necessities like iphones and ipod, Apple company have been publishing new types of iphone every year, each with a new function like screen-touch, facetime and vocal instruction. And many people not only have to exhaust themselves in learning the new functions, but find difficulties in using auxiliary softwares like iphone apps and iTunes as well. Therefore, despite their convinience and efficiency, quick upgrading and inventing of new technology in daily products have thrown people into a worrying situation where are constantly in fear of being left behind by the fast-changing trend.

Additionally, nowadays people are less likely to enjoy the process of doing things for the reason that they have to act and finish quickly, which is the request of this too highly efficient society. Imagine you are eating a humbugur, if you are forced to finish it within two minutes, will you still find the once delicious food a good enjoyment? The answer is definetly no! Overwhelmed by huge workloads, modern people must behave in quick pace so as to finish all the tasks. And it is the demand of high efficiency and fast speed which confine modern people to savor the process of life. People have to progress without stop from one task to another, and the fact is that they can hardly have time to truly and fully interact with their inner thought before once again immersed themselve in finishing the next task.

The happiness of humans could not be measured by how many entertaining tools he has, or how many difficult tasks they have managed in one lifetime, it only has to do with their inner contentedness. Yet modern ways of life makes it much harder for people to feel safe, steady and joyful. That is beacause the world is chaging so fast that it leaves little time for people to slow down a bit to enjoy themselves more.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-31 12:40
To hans,
你的评论好激励人心哈哈！！其实我刚好那个话题比较熟悉而已嘻嘻
啊是的！短句我都不怎么会用的感觉。。。。。T T 还要多多积累的说
还有总是会有各种拼写错误，真的很闹心啊

作者: hansxiao7 时间: 2012-7-31 16:35
Thanks to the high efficiency of technology, the world is progressing with a rapid pace. It is undeniable that the living standard now is much higher and the entertianing instrument, much diverse(可以这样用么。。。）. Some may thereby assume that modern life is much happier. Yet the case turned out to be the opposite: people nowadays have more pressure in keeping up with the fast progression of modern society.

With the quick development of daily products like cell-phones and computer software, modern people always feel obliged to learn something new. In the old days, ways of doing things remains steady, which thus makes people feel safe and satisfied with themselves. But now facing with an ever-changing society, people can not stop(忍不住。。。？还是说被动的？用词要精确啊感觉这里像是被动人们不得不而不是忍不住） trying hard to follow the pace of technological development(该换词啦 improvement或 progression). Consider our daily necessities like iphones and ipod, Apple company have(has) been publishing(这里建议不要用HAVE 直接produce new 或者create new另外这个publish感觉不太恰当） new types of iphone every year, each with a new function like screen-touch, facetime and vocal instruction. And many people not only have to exhaust themselves in learning the new functions, but find difficulties in using auxiliary softwares like iphone apps and iTunes as well. Therefore, despite their convinience and efficiency, quick upgrading and inventing of new technology in daily products have thrown people into a worrying situation where are constantly in fear of being left behind by the fast-changing trend.(感觉楼主的词汇量不错，只是下次用时要注意要用最简单的词表达出最恰当最specific的例子才是最好的选择）

Additionally, nowadays people are less likely to enjoy the process of doing things for the reason that they have to act and finish quickly, which is the request of this too highly efficient society.(这一句分成两句吧 That is required by the highly efficient society) Imagine you are eating a humbugur, if you are forced to finish it within two minutes, will you still find the once delicious food a good enjoyment? The answer is definetly no! Overwhelmed by huge workloads, modern people must behave in quick pace so as to finish all the tasks. And it is the demand of high efficiency and fast speed which confine modern people to savor the process of life. People have to progress without stop from one task to another, and the fact is that they can hardly have time to truly and fully interact with their inner thought before once again immersed themselve in finishing the next task. (虽然楼主这一段是说人们不能享受过程了上一段说人们需要学那些新东西了实际上都是quick life rhythm 这一篇思路太狭窄啦完全不是楼主风格啊。。。）

The happiness of humans could not be measured by how many entertaining tools he has, or how many difficult tasks they have managed in one lifetime, it only has to do with their inner contentedness. Yet modern ways of life makes it much harder for people to feel safe, steady and joyful. That is beacause the world is chaging so fast that it leaves little time for people to slow down a bit to enjoy themselves more.(最后一段楼主结尾罗嗦了建议两种风格直接结论或者简单复述理由+结论）

这篇完全不是楼主风格啊。。。希望楼主早日批改我的作文

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-31 22:39
Hans,我这篇写得巨纠结。我要去看看你怎么写的

对！就是死路太狭窄了啊啊。。。下次改正！！

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-1 15:25
8.1
What will you do if you want to argue with others on a controversial issue? Some hot-tempered people could not help letting out their words on the phone, or leave vocal messages if others did not answer the phone call; while others who are more introverted and calm may prefer to text a message or send an e-mail, where they can express their thoughts more freely and clearly. As for me, using written language is more suitable and comfortable, and my reasons are leasted as follows.

Being always half-beat slower in thought than others, discussing through written words could give me enough time to think more clearly and comprehensively. Instead of being forced to open my mouth before grasping other's idea fully and orginizing my thoughts orderly, I can maximize my efforts on understanding other's thoughts as well as developing mine. In any discussion, a very possible consequence of not compeletly understanding other's ideas would be that both sides are just saying what they think is true, regardless of the other sides' opinion. That would only makes the debate go around in a circle. But if given more time, the seemingly upsetting issue would become more focused, and thereby easier to be solved.

Besides, sending e-mails and texting messgaes can prevent people from interfering by the other sides' biased thoughts and emotions. As we are all humans, we tend to be easily effected by other people's emotions. For instance, in Henan province, a fish seller killed one of his customers on impulse while they are arguing about the price of the fishes. Thus, a formerly very tiny dispute evolved into a big tragedy becuase of the harsh and extrem words used by the two at the very moment. From that example, it is clear that vocal languages, carrying too much emotions and instant thoughts, will undoubtedly hinder one's sober mental state and unbiased judgment. Therefore, e-mails and texts are preferable when disucussing a controversial issue.

Yet I concede that the perticular tones,pitch and rymthe of voices can, in some circumstances, help the speaker convince the other side. This is beacuse vocal language sometimes conveys more than just thoughts and opininions: they also send signals about the speakers' emotions and feelings by characteristics of the voice. For instance, although the the draft of 'I have a dream' is heart-stricking and encouraging, without the vivid and emotional performance of Martin Luther King, it could not have had so huge an infulence on the Black Liberation Movements. But on the contrary, a convincing script spoken by a poor speaker who stammers occassionally would only undermine the reliability of those opinions.

In the final analysis, I favor written words when debating on a disputing topic for the reason that they give me more time and solemnity to handle the issue successfully. Admittedly, for people who has a nice speaking manner, using vocal communication is also a good voice.

作者: GWinner 时间: 2012-8-1 18:52
拜读啦~写的超棒！
P.s. 最后那个词应该是Choice哦~

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-3 14:10
谢谢XD 发挥还是很不稳定的嘿嘿。。羞愧ING
拼写错误是硬伤啊

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-3 14:11
8.3
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

As an old saying goes, parents are children's first teachers. How parents behave and react to children's request is of great importance in their children's growth. Parents are apt to do all the things for their children when they are too young to handle them alone. Yet different parents insist on different parenting method as their children grow up: some still help children in all the possible ways, while others prefer to let children deal with their work independently. As far as I'm concerned, the second way of parenting is more favorable for the following reasons.

No matter how successful and powerful parents are, they could not accompany their children for their whole lives. Chances are that the once susceptible children will go to study abroad, get married and even face their parents' death, and their parents can in no way render their help in those circumstances. Therefore, instead of offering children instant help every time they are in trouble, parents should encourage them to manage difficult situations by themselves, which can equipped children with ever-lasting 'weapons' like bravery, persistence and industriousness. Only in that way can parents 'protect' their children for the whole lifetime. On the contrary, if parents continue to help their children who are old enough to solve problems on their own, they are actually blocking their way of becoming mature. And the consequence is, one day when the vitality and vigor of their parents fade away, they will be left alone helplessly.

In addition, given opportunities to do things alone, children can become more confident and independent. Before I leave my hometown to Shanghai to pursue my undergraduate degree, my parents have almost done everything they can for me: my father bought me breakfast, sent me to school every morning and drove me home when shool was finished. Except for studying, I can almost do nothing. Although my life in Shanghai was a mess at the begining, I eventually managed to do all the things alone. The once unimaginable tasks becoms a peice of cake for me, and I therefore becomes more confident to face up more challenges independently. The fact is, by encouraging children to act alone, parents are actually giving them courage to fully display their potentials. Thus, being forced to handle things alone is a precious task in life which everyone should go through before he can really live independently and confidently.

Yet it goes beyond doubt that parents should take care of their children in every aspects when they are still too vulnerable to tackle many harsh situations in life. After all, no parents would allow their 4-year-old daughter to make a meal for herself or go to the supermarket alone to buy some daily necessities. To some extent, parenting method should be changed according to the age of children.

In sum, parents should encourage children to do things independently when they become physically mature enough, since in that way children can become metally mature and truly gain confidence.

作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-8-4 09:17
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

As an old saying goes, parents are children's first teachers. How parents behave and react to children's request is of great importance in their children's growth. Parents are apt to do all the things for their children when they are too young to handle them alone. Yet different parents insist on different parenting method as their children grow up: some still help children in all the possible ways, while others prefer to let children deal with their work independently. As far as I'm concerned, the second way of parenting is more favorable for the following reasons.
没什么可说的，流畅，通顺，也和清新
No matter how successful and powerful parents are, they could not accompany their children for their whole lives. Chances are that the（多余） once susceptible children will go to study abroad, get married and even face their parents' death, and（thus这样比较通顺一点吧） their parents can in no way render their help in those circumstances. Therefore, instead of offering children instant help every time they are in trouble, parents should encourage them to manage difficult situations by themselves, which can equipped children with ever-lasting 'weapons' like bravery, persistence and industriousness. Only in that way can parents 'protect' their children for the whole lifetime. On the contrary, if parents continue to help their (‘mature’? 我觉得后面的解释略长) children who are old enough to solve problems on their own, they are actually blocking their way of becoming mature（既然这用了mature那就当我没说吧，最好还是换一个表达前面）. And the consequence is, one day when the vitality and vigor of their parents fade away, they will be left alone helplessly.

In addition, given opportunities to do things alone, children can become more confident and independent. Before I leave my hometown to Shanghai to pursue my undergraduate degree, my parents have almost done everything they can for me: my father bought me breakfast, sent me to school every morning and drove me home when shool（school） was finished. Except for studying, I can almost do nothing. Although my life in Shanghai was a mess at the beginning（beginning）, I eventually managed to do all the things alone. The once unimaginable tasksbecoms（becomes） a piece（piece） of cake for me, and I therefore becomes more confident to face up more challenges independently. The fact is, by encouraging children to act alone, parents are actually giving them courage to fully display their potentials. Thus, being forced to handle things alone is a precious task in life which everyone should go through before he can really live independently and confidently.

Yet it goes beyond doubt that parents should take care of their children in every aspects when they are still too vulnerable to tackle many harsh situations in life. After all, no parents would allow their 4-year-old daughter to make a meal for herself or go to the supermarket alone to buy some daily necessities. To some extent, parenting method should be changed according to the age of children. （appealed to the children’ ageing 应该会好一点）

In sum, parents should encourage children to do things independently when they become physically mature enough, since in that way children can become metally（mentally） mature and truly gain confidence.

说说总体感觉吧：

这是一篇很好的文章，流畅清新是很大的特点

我读了两遍想看看有什么可以拿来借鉴的，发现除了这种感觉，我也不知道怎么去下手，因为太高级了

词汇用法上也不逊色，是不是会有亮点出现。

总分总结构也很出色，不生搬硬套。

除了句法结构需要在斟酌一下，不过30分钟写成这样已经很不容易了。

楼主这样下去至少28+吧

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-4 12:33
谢谢楼上～我这个肯定是超时完成的，还没开始掐时间><...

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-4 15:02
开始写综合。。各种不明状况。。。请狠拍和指正！感激不尽～～

The lecturer talkes about a company's observation on its team works' performances and their results. He finds out that the actual effect of team work is very different to what indicated in the passage, which ponits out that team work is advantageous.

In the first place, instead of working together to make the work proceed more quickly, the real situation is that some people got free rides. In other words, the good result was regarded as the achievenment of the whole team. Thus, some people who did not work hard are given the same credits with those who worked whole-heartedly. From that perspective, those who ought to "shine out" were negleted. That directly contradicts to the passage which says that certain individuals are getting more chance to shine in team work.

Secondly, team work did not process quickly as expected since there were many disputes among different individuals. The passage says that team work is more efficient thanks to the aggregation of labor and resources. The fact is that, however, different people hold diverted ponit of views, and team work makes it more time-consuming to reach a consent. Consequently, it will hinder the progression of team work. Therefore, the lecture oppose the passage on the ponit of work speed.

The last but not the least, the case turns out to be that team work did not encourage more creative ideas and solutions. In any team, usually there exist some influential people in the team, who can easily sway the opinions of the whole team. On the other hand, the voice of the seemingly tiny people are likely to be ignored without furthur discussion. Therefore, the team was led only by the prestigious few, but not the best idea among all team members as the passage infers.

In sum, considering all the factors and aspects above, the lecture contradicts the passage in the working efficiency, rewardings for team members and affluency of ideas of team work.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-5 11:05
8.5 小掐时间
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative
effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

Lacking experience and self-exploration, young people tend to be easily effected by television dramas and movies. They are likely to follow the behaviors of the fictional figures. And the question is, does the scenes and plots in movies and TV series influence youngsters in positive or negative ways? As for me, I believe generally television and films guide young people to live a better life. And my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, those positive values explained in a movie or TV drama will lead the young in the right direction. Under the supervision of the central propaganda department, the themes of the stories shown in cinemas and on television are well-chosen and strictly censored. In other words, those movies and dramas which bear the danger of stimulating negative emotions such as anti-socialism, rebellion and self-deploration will be banned. Therefore, the plots and social values in the films and television seen will cultivate young people's positive feelings like persistency, nostalgia, thanksgiving and love for life, which imperceptibly lead youngsters to behave better.

Apart from stories, many television program and documentary movies also play an educational and informational role. Nowadays, an increasing number of TV programs are offering meaningful and easily understandable lessons concerning history, world economy and technology; documentary movies like Baraka presented abundant awesome sceneries around world, which at the meantime warn the audience on environmental protection. Unlike knowledge we learn from books, motion pictures and audio sounds in videos together provide young people with a more clear and vivid learning. In that way, the young will substantiate themselves by updated informations and varied lectures on multimedias.

Admittedly, there are recurrent violent and pornographic scenes in videos. Young people are not mature enough to judge between reality and fiction: many would mistakenly take what they seen in the movies and dramas as the real world, and thus truly practice the bad behaviors shown in the videos.
In that perspective, television and films will definitely exert a bad effect on young people.

In sum, movies and television, on the whole, guide young people in their way of growing up in that they present positive values and educational informations. Yet parents should guard the young from watching violent and pornographic videos in case of indiscriminate imitation.

作者: eva0401 时间: 2012-8-5 14:53
楼主的作文好棒呀！！！

向你学习呀

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-5 15:10

我本来已经改好了按错键又得重来。。。。fairy 同学，抱歉之前改错别人的了。。。我看这篇没改，应该是这篇把
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色修改，绿色总结
8.1
What will you do if you want to argue with others on a controversial issue? Some hot-tempered people could not help letting out their words on the phone, or leave vocal messages if others did not answer the phone call; while others who are more introverted and calm may prefer to text a message or send an e-mail, where they can express their thoughts more freely and clearly. As for me, using written language is more suitable and comfortable, and my reasons are leasted as follows. 【这个切入点很好，不同性格的人喜欢不同方式，so as for me...观点明确】

Being always half-beat slower in thought than others, discussing through written words could give me enough time to think more clearly and comprehensively. Instead of being forced to open my mouth before grasping other's idea fully and orginizing my thoughts orderly, I can maximize my efforts on understanding other's thoughts as well as developing mine. In any discussion, a very possible consequence of not compeletly understanding other's ideas would be that both sides are just saying what they think is true,【总觉得怪怪的，你想是说只是他们自己认为对的是把，但表面看起来会有歧义，可能是they的问题】 regardless of the other sides' opinions. That would only makes【make】 the debate go around in a circle. But if given more time, the seemingly upsetting issue would become more focused, and thereby easier to be solved. 【这一段说明written message的优点，句子高级，注意一些小错误就好了】

Besides, sending e-mails and texting messgaes can prevent people from interfering by the other sides' biased thoughts and emotions. As we are all humans, we tend to be easily effected by other people's emotions. For instance, in Henan province, a fish seller killed one of his customers on impulse while they are arguing about the price of the fishes. Thus, a formerly very tiny dispute evolved into a big tragedy becuase of the harsh and extrem words used by the two at the very moment. From that example, it is clear that vocal languages, carrying too much emotions and instant thoughts, will undoubtedly hinder one's sober mental state and unbiased judgment. Therefore, e-mails and texts are preferable when disucussing a controversial issue.【这一段说了written message的优点2，用了例子论证，又有例子的分析，总结。很好。】

Yet I concede that the perticular tones,pitch and rymthe of voices can, in some circumstances, help the speaker convince the other side. This is beacuse vocal language sometimes conveys more than just thoughts and opininions: they also send signals about the speakers' emotions and feelings by characteristics of the voice. For instance, although the the draft of 'I have a dream' is heart-stricking and encouraging, without the vivid and emotional performance of Martin Luther King, it could not have had so huge an infulence on the Black Liberation Movements. But on the contrary, a convincing script spoken by a poor speaker who stammers occassionally would only undermine the reliability of those opinions. 【这一段让步，说明对立面的可取之处，但是是有条件的可取。举例+正反对比。】

In the final analysis, I favor written words when debating on a disputing topic for the reason that they give me more time and solemnity【thus can help me】 to handle the issue successfully.【我觉得这里句子长意思上会不明确，分隔开来比较好】 Admittedly, for people who has a nice speaking manner, using vocal communication is also a good voice【choice】.
【整篇文章，观点明确，结构清晰，论证分析很好。楼主好强大。只要注意下一些小错误，还有为了明确意思，有些句子最好不要太长。】

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-5 21:03
我终于搞清楚改什么了。。

蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色修改，绿色总结
8.4 综合
The lecturer talks about a company's observation on its team works' performances and their results. He finds out that the actual effect of team work is very different to what indicated in the passage, which ponits out that team work is advantageous【我觉得这句话会不会有些指代不明】. 【首段指出了主要内容以及与reading passage的关系，已经达到目的了】

In the first place, instead of working together to make the work proceed more quickly, the real situation is that some people got free rides. In other words, the good result was regarded as the achievenment of the whole team. Thus, some people who did not work hard are given the same credits with those who worked whole-heartedly. From that perspective, those who ought to "shine out" were negleted. That directly contradicts to the passage which says that certain individuals are getting more chance to shine in team work.

Secondly, team work did not process quickly as expected since there were many disputes among different individuals. The passage says that team work is more efficient thanks to the aggregation of labor and resources. The fact is that, however, different people hold diverted ponit of views, and team work makes it more time-consuming to reach a consent. Consequently, it will hinder the progression of team work. Therefore, the lecture oppose the passage on the ponit of work speed. 【感觉这个和第一点是同一个把，quickly work process 和 work speed】

~~The~~ last but not the least, the case turns out to be that team work did not encourage more creative ideas and solutions. In any team, usually there exist some influential people in the team, who can easily sway the opinions of the whole team. On the other hand, the voice of the seemingly tiny people are likely to be ignored without furthur discussion. Therefore, the team was led only by the prestigious few, but not the best idea among all team members as the passage infers.

In sum, considering all the factors and aspects above, the lecture contradicts the passage in the working efficiency, rewardings for team members and affluency of ideas of team work. 【结构清晰，过程详细，但想和lz探讨下，这篇文章是不是这样三个点：1.work speed 2. creative ideas and solutions not always come 3. not always be rewarding for team members 】

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-6 14:38
8.5 独立修改
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色修改，绿色总结
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative
effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

Lacking experience and self-exploration, young people tend to be easily effected by television dramas and movies. They are likely to follow the behaviors of the fictional figures. And the question is, does the scenes and plots in movies and TV series influence youngsters in positive or negative ways? As for me, I believe generally television and films guide young people to live a better life. And my reasons are listed as follows. 【观点明确。】

In the first place, those positive values explained in a movie or TV drama will lead the young in the right direction. Under the supervision of the central propaganda department, the themes of the stories shown in cinemas and on television are well-chosen and strictly censored. In other words, those movies and dramas which bear the danger of stimulating negative emotions such as anti-socialism, rebellion and self-deploration will be banned. Therefore, the plots and social values in the films and television seen will cultivate young people's positive feelings like persistency, nostalgia, thanksgiving and love for life, which imperceptibly lead youngsters to behave better. 【指出电影电视的情节是被删选过的，负面影响不会传播给青少年。这个角度很好。用词也很好】

Apart from stories, many television program and documentary movies also play an educational and informational role. Nowadays, an increasing number of TV programs are offering meaningful and easily understandable lessons concerning history, world economy and technology; documentary movies like Baraka presented abundant awesome sceneries around world, which at the meantime warn the audience on environmental protection. Unlike knowledge we learn from books, motion pictures and audio sounds in videos together provide young people with a more clear and vivid learning. In that way, the young will substantiate themselves by updated informations and varied lectures on multimedias【这句话我不是很明白，用。。。证明他们自己？】. 【指出电影电视的教育作用以及生动教学的优势。第二个角度也挺好的】

Admittedly, there are recurrent violent and pornographic scenes in videos. Young people are not mature enough to judge between reality and fiction: many would mistakenly take what they seen in the movies and dramas as the real world, and thus truly practice the bad behaviors shown in the videos.
In that perspective, television and films will definitely exert a bad effect on young people. 【让步，说明电影和电视中暴力场面对青少年的负面影响。结构很完整】

In sum, movies and television, on the whole, guide young people in their way of growing up in that they present positive values and educational informations. Yet parents should guard the young from watching violent and pornographic videos in case of indiscriminate imitation.【总结了俩正面point和对让步的补充】

【整篇文章观点明确，结构清晰，切入点很好，用词又很高级。楼主你作文很厉害了啊

】

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-7 12:30
The lecture talks about the further exploration of Chaco house, the result of which shows that none of the theories conjectured in the passage is convincing.

First, there are few fireplaces. That is, the number of fireplaces which are essential for family cooking is not proportional to the supposed number of families there. Thus, this Chaco house should not had been used for residential purpose. This directly contradicts to the first suggestion in the passage.

Second, no trace of maize or maize container were found. The passage indicates that the house could be used for preserving food thanks to its big size. If that is true, there must be some remainders of maize on the floor or food container. Yet neither of them has been discovered. Therefore, the second theory suggested in the passage is also incorrect.

Then the professor moves to the third theory in the passage: he talks about the Pueblo Alto next to the house. Apart from broken pots, many other materials of building trash like sand and stone were found in the mound, which means that it might had been used to place trash. Thus, the broken pots may also be the used-up tools of the workers. Thus, the lecturer refute the ceremonial use of the house, as presented in the passage.

In conclusion, the passage discuss about three possible function of the Chaco, yet the professor assets that none of them is reasonable and gives his proofs.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-7 12:46

我终于搞清楚改什么了。。

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/8/5 21:03:20)

是啊我第一点写的有点摸棱两可。要改正！！免得和第二点弄混了
是啊我听的是这三个点呢～～XD

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-8 11:10
8月8日
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

An increasing number of university professors now immerse themselves in doing researches, which can bring them more money and fame. As teachers cannot easily get fired like other employees, many professors dare to sacrifice most of their time doing their own researches. And many of them believe that those surveys can enrich their knowledge and thereby teach better. Yet I consider that statement a presage(jiekou) since doing researches is detrimental to teaching. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Teacher is a special prefession where people exhaust themselves in order to make students stronger. That is undoubtedly the job calling of a teacher, and a university professor is not an exception. The natural concern for a teacher should be his students, but not himselve. Finishing a research, namely writting esssays and analyzing numerous datas, needs great time and efforts, which will definitely cut professors' attention and devotion on students. Yet university learning is really important for youngsters as it is a place where they find their true interests, form life value, learn specialized technique and knowledges, all of which influence their future development a great deal. In that way, for the purpose of gaining his own academic status and much money, a professor is actually sacrificing the future of all his students: a not well-prepared and cursory lesson will deprive students of their interests in the subject; a teacher's absent-minded and perfunctory behaviors in the class tells his students that they can treat their future career in the same way. Therefore, as a teacher, a university professor should always put his students at the first place.

From a more objective perspective, college professors ought to take teaching as their main concern in that they are employeed by schools and are paid by students' tuition fee. If one wants to do research, instead of applying for an educational position, he should go to research institutions, where he can do research with much more subsidies and time. If, however, one decided to be a teacher, he must serve students as his biggest clients. This is because parents pay him stable salaries. Consequently, in terms of the relationship between employees and emloyers, a univeristy professor should take educating students as his major concern.

Admittedly, doing researches can sometimes improve professors' educating for the reason that it can furthur substantiate them with more knowledge and informations. As long as professors aim at enhancing their teaching performances and their regular teaching quality do not deteriorate, a reasonable number of researches are acceptable.

In conlusion, the natural concern for university professors should be educating college students for both subjective and objetcive reasons. And doing researches properly can benefit students as well.

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-8-8 12:31
The lecture talks about the further exploration of Chaco house, the result of which shows that none of the theories conjectured in the passage is convincing.

First, there are few fireplaces. That is, the number of fireplaces which are essential for family cooking is not proportional to the supposed number of families there. Thus, this Chaco house should not had been used for residential purpose. This directly contradicts to the first suggestion in the passage.

Second, no trace of maize or maize container were found. The passage indicates that the house could be used for preserving food thanks to its big size. If that is true, there must be some remainders of maize on the floor or food container. Yet neither of them has been discovered. Therefore, the second theory suggested in the passage is also incorrect.

Then the professor moves to the third theory in the passage: he talks about the Pueblo Alto next to the house. Apart from broken pots, many other materials of building trash like sand and stone were found in the mound, which means that it might had been used to place trash. Thus, the broken pots may also be the used-up tools of the workers. Thus, the lecturer refute the ceremonial use of the house, as presented in the passage.

In conclusion, the passage discuss about three possible function of the Chaco, yet the professor assets that none of them is reasonable and gives his proofs.

细节和整体都不错个人觉得不太需要修改了。。

作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-9 08:50
An increasing number of university professors now immerse themselves in doing researches, which can bring them more money and fame. As teachers cannot easily get fired like other employees, many professors dare to sacrifice most of their time doing their own researches. And many of them believe that those surveys can enrich their knowledge and thereby teach better. Yet I consider that statement a presage(jiekou)(虽然看不懂,但是觉得很厉害的样子...) since doing researches is detrimental to teaching. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Teacher is a special prefession(profession) where people exhaust themselves in order to make students stronger. That is undoubtedly the job calling of a teacher, and a university professor is not an exception. The natural concern for a teacher should be his students, but not himselve. Finishing a research, namely writting esssays and analyzing numerous datas, needs great time and efforts, which will definitely cut professors' attention and devotion on students. Yet university learning is really important for youngsters as it is a place where they find their true interests, form life value, learn specialized technique and knowledges, all of which influence their future development a great deal. In that way, for the purpose of gaining his own academic status and much money, a professor is actually sacrificing the future of all his students: a not well-prepared and cursory lesson will deprive students of their interests in the subject; a teacher's absent-minded and perfunctory behaviors in the class tells his students that they can treat their future career in the same way. Therefore, as a teacher, a university professor should always put his students at the first place.

From a more objective perspective, college professors ought to take teaching as their main concern in that they are employeed by schools and are paid by students' tuition fee. If one wants to do research, instead of applying for an educational position, he should go to research institutions, where he can do research with much more subsidies and time. If, however, one decided to be a teacher, he must serve students as his biggest clients. This is because parents pay him stable salaries. Consequently, in terms of the relationship between employees and emloyers, a univeristy professor should take educating students as his major concern.

Admittedly, doing researches can sometimes improve professors' educating for the reason that it can furthur substantiate them with more knowledge and informations(informaiton是不可数名词). As long as professors aim at enhancing their teaching performances and their regular teaching quality do not deteriorate, a reasonable number of researches are acceptable.

In conlusion, the natural concern for university professors should be educating college students for both subjective and objetcive reasons. And doing researches properly can benefit students as well.

楼主的作文写很好啊,基本上没有错误,词汇很攻击,句式也很丰富.接近30了...
从楼主的文章里学习好好多词汇...

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-9 09:39
TPO7

In the lecture, the professor believes that American companies will eventually adopt the ecocertification policies. And he gives convincing reasons to rebottle the opinions shown in the passage.

First, American people know how to distibguish different advertisments. The passage indicates that the American consumers do not trust all the advertising since they are exposed to too many of them everyday. However, the speaker points out that American people actually trust independent certification agencies, especailly those with international recognition. Therefore they would prefer products with ecocertification to those without it. This directly contradicts to what the passage says.

Second, small difference between prices do not make it a siginificant factor for American consumers. According to the pasage, if the price difference is less than five percent, consumers will care more about other factors. Moreover, American people value environmental protection a lot, and are likely to take the ecocertification as an important element when choosing products. That cast doubt on the view that a higher price will prevent the companies with ecocertification from gaining more customers, as the passage says.

Third, foreign competition drives domestic companies to obtain an ecocertifcation. The passage says that American wood companies do not need to get a ecocertifcation in that most of their products are sold whithin US. Yet in his lecture, the speaker disputes this assertation in terms of foreign competition: foreign companies selling ecocertificated prodcust will attract more Amercan consumers than domestic comapnies. Thus, it is necessary fot American companies to keep up with the world trend. That contradicts to the view shown by the passage.

In sum, the passage asserts that American wood companies will not follow the rest of the world to earn an ecocertification. Nonetheless, the lecturer refutes that perception and offers reasonable proofs.

作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-8-10 08:17
In the lecture, the professor believes that American companies will eventually adopt the ecocertification policies. And he gives convincing reasons to rebottle the opinions shown in the passage.

First, American people know how to distibguish different advertisments. The passage indicates that the American consumers do not trust all the advertising since they are exposed to too many of them everyday. However, the speaker points out that American people actually trust independent certification agencies, especailly those with international recognition. Therefore they would prefer products with ecocertification to those without it. This directly contradicts to what the passage says.

没有什么问题，就是拼写错误多了一点，听得点也比较全面

Second, small difference between prices do not make it a siginificant factor for American consumers. According to the pasage, （文章中没有这句话吧）if the price difference is less than five percent, consumers will care more about other factors. Moreover, American people value environmental protection a lot, and are likely to take the ecocertification as an important element when choosing products. That cast doubt on the view that a higher price will prevent the companies with ecocertification from gaining more customers, as the passage says.

Third, foreign competition drives domestic companies to obtain an ecocertifcation. The passage says that American wood companies do not need to get a ecocertifcation in that most of their products are sold whithin US. Yet in his lecture, the speaker disputes this assertation in terms of foreign competition: foreign companies selling ecocertificated prodcust will attract more Amercan consumers than domestic comapnies. Thus, it is necessary fot American companies to keep up with the world trend. That contradicts to the view shown by the passage.

In sum, the passage asserts that American wood companies will not follow the rest of the world to earn an ecocertification. Nonetheless, the lecturer refutes that perception and offers reasonable proofs.

所有重要的点都说到了，应该没有问题了，拼写错误较多，楼主喜欢每段开始陈述一下观点，是我觉得可以借鉴的。听力也不错哈，综合应该没什么问题了

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-10 10:22
是啊拼写错误好多。。考试的时候必须得留时间检查啊！！主要要检查的就是拼写错误.>.,,<

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-10 22:38
8.10独立
8.10
Some people say we should never be impolite to another person. Do you agree or disagree?

Considering the diveristy and specific background of each individual, we should respect others' different thoughts and behaviors. So being polite is the basic principle of interpersonal communication. Yet there are serveral circumstances under which we should be strict and even though on others for special purpose. Actually, some people do not deserve our polite treatment and my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, some inhuman criminals ought to be blamed at. For personal interests, some people sacarifice others' safty and life: they commite severe crimes like arson, kidnapping, murder and rape, which either deprived others' of their precious lives or future happiness. To be more specific, a person with undiminishable burned scars on his body, epecially face, will lose his confidence and stand others' avoiding look; a girl with a horrible memory of being raped will find it hard to approach any male; a family with one beloved member being killed would never be complete again. In that way, criminals commited irreparable crimes to other innocent people. The police and all the society should thereby be strict on them, so that they can understand how big mistakes they had made to others and bear the sequential punishment. Thus, to crule criminals, certain fierce treatment is necessary.

In terms of daily communication, some unreasonable people also needs to be harshly dealt with. It goes beyond doubt that humans are clever animals who tend to bully the weak and fear the strong. If one always smile at others and do not shout at or quarrel with other people, people around him are likely to define him as a unprincipled nice guy. As a result, other people would behave unscupulously in front of him, namely shouting at him freely, asking him for help unconditionally, and even ignoring his opinions or demands. That is because he is a guy who will never be harsh on others. Therefore, proper tough treatment on others is a way of gaining respect and self-esteem. On the contrary, a person treat others politely regardless of the situation often cannot win due respect.

Admittedly, over-ferocious actions would be detrimental. Continuous ill-treatment on prisoners will distort their mentality and arouse anti-social feelings, which may lead to more horrible crimes; arbitrary impolitenss to friends will eventually result in being isolated by all of them. As long as the person really deserves so, we normally should not be harsh on him.

In sum, unconditonally politeness to others is not suggestive. People have to act strictly to crule criminals and to people around us if needed. However, overly severity should be avoided.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-11 12:18
8.11
In the lecture, the professor asserts that although petroluem is a finite resource and harm the environment, the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not a solution. She says that the passage, by listing the advantages of hydrogen energy, is to be too optimistic about its prospect.

First, hydrogen energy is not easily availabel. In order to get hydrogen in a pure liquid state, it needs a cold environment of minus 253 degree. In other words, it is technologically difficult to create hydrogen resources adaptable to car engine. Therefore, the energy resource of fuel-cell engines is not easily available. That directly contradicts to what the passage indicate.

Second, the purification of hydrogen harms the environment. The passage says that the hydrogen-based fuel cells has little side-effect. Yet according to the lecture, in the process of producing the hydrogen, people have to burn materials like coal and oil, which are detrimental to the environment. Thus, factories that generate hydrogens produce harmful byproduct. In that way, hydrogen-based fuel could not solve the problem of environment pollution, that overturns the second statement in the passage.

Third, manufacturing the fuel-cell engine is expensive. The passage points out that a fuel-cell engine is economically competetive since it is nearly twice as efficent in using its fuel as a traditional internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer talks about how costy of manufacturing the engine in that the only material which can stimulate the hydrogen turn into electricity is expensive. That is to say, the fuel-cell engine is not economically competetive.

结尾段没来得及写。速度还是不够

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-12 11:28
8.12
It is better to finish a project completely and then begin a new one than work on two or more projects at the same time.

People have different preference when planing their work: some like to do one thing at a time so as to be highly focused; others prefer to work on several projects simultaneously in order to make full use of time. As far as I'm concerned, I am apt to engage myself in more than one things, and my reaons are listed as follows.

In the first place, by doing a fair number of things at the same time, one can be very effective. As I'm a person who always want to challenge myself, I enjoy trying to manage a rather heavy workload. Besides, seemingly arduous tasks can stimulates one's potential. Having to finish all the projects before the deadlines, one may seize every second and be highly concentrated on his works. On the contrary, if he only has to do one task, he may feel relaxed, and thereby is likely to squander spare time on entertainment or gossiping. What's worse? Those unrelated activities are distarcting: even when one goes back to his work, his mind is still filled with video games or other trivals. Thus, working on several tasks simultaneously is more efficient than just focus on one project at a time.

Another more important reason is that the differences among each projects can help the doer change his mindset, and thus invigorate inspirations. As a film student who plan to study in US next year, I now have to prepare Toefl test, research on suitable schools and write several screenwriting samples all at a time. Instead of feeling frustrated, I found that one project is usually helpful to another: viewing the nice courses offered by my target shcool makes me more energetic in writing scripts and learning English; whenever my inspiration exhausts, reading English novels and poems fills me with new thoughts. In that way, doing different projects at the same time can be very thought-provoking.

Admittedly, one should not take the reasons listed above to extrems -- think that the more, the better. Too many works and deadlines will force the doer work without a rest, which is detrimental to both physical and mental health. Consequently, with no time to recharge himself, one will work with low efficiency.

In sum, dealing with a proper number of projects at one time is efficient as well as rewarding.

作者: 009110 时间: 2012-8-13 13:11
8.11红色表修改绿色表建议
In the lecture, the professor asserts that although petroluem is a finite resource and harm the environment, the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not a solution. She says that the passage, by listing the advantages of hydrogen energy（我觉得是在讲fuel cell的优越性，而原料好获取是起支撑作用的）, is to be(删) too optimistic about its(指代不明，建议更改)prospect.

First, hydrogen energy is not easily availabel. In order to get hydrogen in a pure liquid state, it needs a cold environment of minus 253（少了个单位，记不清是F还是C了） degree. In other words, it is technologically difficult to create hydrogen resources adaptable to car engine. Therefore, the energy resource of fuel-cell engines is not easily available. That directly contradicts to（删） what the passage indicates.

Secondly, the purification of hydrogen harms the environment. The passage says that the hydrogen-based fuel cells has(have)little side-effect. Yet according to the lecture, in the process of producing the hydrogen, people have to burn materials like coal and oil, which are detrimental to the environment. Thus, factories that generate hydrogens produce harmful byproducts(感觉这里的by-products没有解释的很清楚，只是在前一句末提到对环境不好). In that way, hydrogen-based fuel could not solve the problem of environment pollution, that（which） overturns（感觉overturn用在这里有点杀鸡用牛刀，不恰当，建议换了） the second statement in the passage.

Thirdly, manufacturing the fuel-cell engine is expensive. The passage points out that a fuel-cell engine is economically competetive since it is nearly twice as efficent in using its fuel as a traditional internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer talks about how costy of manufacturing the engine in that the only material which can stimulate the hydrogen turn into electricity is expensive.(从句套的太多，层级不明显，建议重新调整语序） That is to say, the fuel-cell engine is not economically competetive.

整体感觉：
文章层级很清楚，几个分论点逐一反驳文字材料，重点很全。
（不过第一段总结文字材料“主要在列举H energy优点”不是很恰当，没有分清主次）
另外建议如果有时间，最好结尾再来个总结。

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-13 19:28
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
People have different preference when planing their work: some like to do one thing at a time so as to be highly focused; others prefer to work on several projects simultaneously in order to make full use of time. As far as I'm concerned, I am apt to engage myself in more than one things, and my reaons are listed as follows. （开头不错）

In the first place, by doing a fair number of things at the same time, one（其实这个直接用I 就好，你前面说的是my reasons么） can be very effective. As I'm a person who always want to challenge myself, I enjoy trying to manage a rather heavy workload. Besides, seemingly arduous tasks can stimulates one's potential. Having to finish all the projects before the deadlines, one may seize every second and be highly concentrated on his works. On the contrary, if he only has to do one task, he may feel relaxed, and thereby is likely to squander spare time on entertainment or gossiping. What's worse? Those unrelated activities are distarcting: even when one goes back to his work, his mind is still filled with video games or other trivals. Thus, working on several tasks simultaneously is more efficient than just focus on one project at a time.

Another more important reason is that the differences among each projects can help the doer change his mindset, and thus invigorate inspirations. As a film student who plan to study in US next year, I now have to prepare Toefl test, research on suitable schools and write several screenwriting samples all at a time. Instead of feeling frustrated, I found that one project is usually helpful to another: viewing the nice courses offered by my target shcool makes me more energetic in writing scripts and learning English; whenever my inspiration exhausts, reading English novels and poems fills me with new thoughts. In that way, doing different projects at the same time can be very thought-provoking.

Admittedly, one should not take the reasons listed above to extrems -- think that the more, the better. Too many works and deadlines will force the doer work without a rest, which is detrimental to both physical and mental health. Consequently, with no time to recharge himself, one will work with low efficiency.

In sum, dealing with a proper number of projects at one time is efficient as well as rewarding.
楼主的独立真好，

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-14 16:27
TPO14
In the lecture, the professor talks about the harmful effect of salvage logging. She aaserts that removing dead trees will harm the forest in the long run, and the its economic benefit is also doubtful, which opposes to what the passage says.

First, the decomposition of dead trees can rich the soil with abundant nutrients. The passage suggests that dead trees hinder tree growth since they occupied the soil where new trees can grow.
Yet according to the professor, a dead trees clean-up would result in less nutrients for tree growth. That is because in the process of decomposing, dead trees can let out rich nutrients in the soil. Therefore those nutritions will help new trees to grow faster. That directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second, decaying wood are suitable habitats for birds and many other insects. In the passage, decaying trees are homes for insects like spruce bark beetle, which are detrimental to healthy trees. However, the professor says that insects beneficial to trees like birds also reside on dead trees. Besides, rotting wood has been remaind in one forest for over a hundred years, and do not cause much damage. Thus, insects like spruce bark beetle would not cause as much damage as the removing of dead trees. This is another ponit where the lecture disputes the passage.

Third and last, most of the damaged trees is only partially ruined. With the help of helicoptor spreading, the trees can continue to grow. And that would not cost much money. Additionally, although the passage recognizes that salvage logging may create more jobs for local people, it fails to see the the job competition: according to the lecture, more experienced and well-trained outsiders are more likely to get the jobs than the locals do. Thus, salvage logging has little economic benefits.

In sum, the passage says that salvage logging is beneficial to both a damaged forest and the economy, yet the professor refutes that the act harmful in the long run and gives her proofs.

超时了。感觉自己很罗嗦，各种细节都要抓到么？

作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-15 15:22
LZ。。。14号的不是TPO12的综合咩。。。。那我给你先改了？

作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-15 16:02
In the lecture, the professor talks about the harmful effect of salvage logging. She aaserts that removing dead trees will harm the forest in the long run, and ~~the~~ its economic benefit is also doubtful, which opposes to what the passage says.

First, the decomposition of dead trees can rich the soil with abundant nutrients. The passage suggests that dead trees hinder tree growth since they occupied the soil（the soil where 是原文中的？觉得有点奇怪，soil改成position/place会不会好点？） where new trees can grow.
Yet according to the professor, a dead trees clean-up would result in less nutrients for tree growth. That is because in the process of decomposing, dead trees can let out rich nutrients in the soil. Therefore those nutritions will help new trees to grow（help sb do） faster. That directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second, decaying wood are suitable habitats for birds and many other insects. In the passage, decaying trees are homes for insects like spruce bark beetle, which are detrimental to healthy trees. However, the professor says that insects beneficial to trees like birds also reside on dead trees（birds不能算insects吧？）. Besides, rotting wood has been remaind in one forest for over a hundred years, and do not cause much damage. Thus, insects like spruce bark beetle would not cause as much damage as the removing of dead trees. This is another ponit where the lecture disputes the passage.

Third and last, most of the damaged trees is only partially ruined. With the help of helicoptor spreading, the trees can continue to grow. And that would not cost much money. Additionally, although the passage recognizes that salvage logging may create more jobs for local people, it fails to see the ~~the~~ job competition: according to the lecture, more experienced and well-trained outsiders are more likely to get the jobs than the locals do. Thus, salvage logging has little economic benefits.

In sum, the passage says that salvage logging is beneficial to both a damaged forest and the economy, yet the professor refutes that the act harmful in the long run and gives her proofs.

总体来看LZ的思路清晰，detail也很丰富，有一些小的拼写错误和语态错误~平时注意就好啦

时间的问题其实我自己在家写的时候也总觉得不太够，但是一般上场都没问题，所以不用着急

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-16 10:33
我才发现写错了。。瀑布汗。。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-17 01:14
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before.

On the way of one's success, his family can provide him with money, social networks and professional knowledges and techniques. Most parents are eager to help their off-springs in every possible way. However, with the development of technology and democracy, I believe it becomes harder and harder for parents to help gaining success of their children. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Nowadays, a more equal social structure makes it difficult for people of high social and political status to use their privilege. In the past, people were clear-cut by their social status: a businessman cannot marry an aristocratic heiress; only children with rich family can have higher education; the whole country is under control of a few inherited descendants of the former aristocracy or dutches. Thus, people who are at the top of the hierarchy can get whatever they want, yet those at the bottom never have chance to show their talent. However, living in an era which value democracy and equality, modern people are no longer confined by their backgrounds. To be more specific, anyone who is smart enough can enter Harvard or Oxford; a black person from a single family can be the president of the United States. In other words, modern society provide more opportunities for people who have competence and talent despite of their origin.

More importantly, with the spreading of the internet, the present generations have a low-cost access to show themselves to the public. Instead of finding a publicity agents, people now can easily promote themselves through internet. Considering the famous Chinese cartoonist Wang momo, she became famous overnight by publishing a set of funny chatting expressions on the internet. Likewise, many well-recognized designers and artists are selling their products in online shops like Esty and Taobao, where they first started their business with low capital. Therefore, the fast development of internet has made it possible for every individual to show his or her talent in a world-wide stage.

Admittedly, there still exist certain people who achieved success mostly with the help of their families. That is because with money supported by families, some people can study abroad at an early age, have a high position in his parents' company without competing with others, and even open his own company without worrying about the cost. More money and better social associations thereby does give certain people more chances than others in the way to success.

In sum, the help from parents can actually offer more opportunities for off-springs in all ages. Yet a more equal social structure and a more convenient promoting platform makes it much easier for modern people to achieve success without the help from families.

耗时1小时- -。狂汗，以后要掐时间

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-17 11:18
不好意思哈，我来晚了，我的作业刚交哈，我争取今天晚上帮你改出来哈。白天事情太多实在不行了。SORRY SORRY！

更新：这个。。。。你的原文我就不贴出来啦。因为。。。。。。我实在不知道改些啥啦，BS我水平太弱了吧。

--------哇，一小时内搞定的啊，很厉害啊。整体写得很流畅啊，架构也很紧密呢，用了经典的2-1模式，话说我都没想出你的这些思路呢。

不像我写的很浅的哈，如果不小心恶心到的话SORRY哈！

另外你的长句子都用得很到位，我学习啦，我瀑布汗啊，以我目前的水平确实不够鸡蛋里挑骨头啊，我想你这篇文章应该算5分的档次了呢，另外，弱弱地请教大侠，您平时练思维架构是怎么练的呀，我每次看到一个TOPIC都要想半天啊。。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-18 09:52
In the lecture, the professor believes that the cane toads population in Australia could not be easily curved as the passage suggests. This is because the methods proved in the reading is likely to be unsuccessful or cause unwanted damage.

First, young toads and toad eggs usually live to the water. The passage indicates that building a national fence will help prevent toads from moving to un-colonized parts in Australia, and thereby stop harming to native ecosystem. However, the professor points out that despite of the fence, rivers and streams will still carry young toads and toad eggs to the other side, where the toads can populate. Therefore, building a national fence will not be as effective as the passage says.

Second, native frogs will also be destroyed by volunteers. According to the passage, cane toads can be caught by volunteers with simple tramp or hand. The professor admits that organizing volunteers to destroy the toads may work, yet that action will undoubtedly cause harm on native frogs who are too young and fragile, and who are also easily caught by the traps. Undermining frog population will harm the ecosystem in Australia. Thus, the lecturer disputes the second method provided by the passage.

Third, the consequence of developing a disease-causing virus is infecting a number of reptiles and amphibians, who, if transplanted in US, will surely harm the original toads there. More importantly, as the toads are native and vital to the Central and South America, the whole ecosystem will suffer if the toads are destroyed. The professor therefore oppose the passage in the point that developing a virus is useful in controlling the toads' population.

In sum, the passage offers three methods to control toads' spreading in Australia, yet the professor refutes that none of them can be successful and gives her own proofs.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-18 10:42
8.18
TPO16

In the lecture, the professor disagrees with the passage that the science of archaeology is facing serious problems in Britain. She ponits out that British government has adopted a series of policies in archaeology, which improved its archaeological situation in all three aspects mentioned in the passage.

First, before establishing any new buidings, the archaeological value of the building has to be examined. According to the passage, the builders often uncovered archaeologically valuable sites. Yet the professor asserts that if a site has valuable articrafts, then archeaologists and local government officials will work together to make a proper plan - either to dig around the site or to excavate properly before building. That directly contradicts what the passage says.

Second, contructional companies will pay for the archaeological research. The lecturer claims that instead of government, the constructional companies will give financial support for initial excavations of the sites where they plan to build. Thus, archaeologists can investigate a handful of interesting sites with enough fundings. Therefore, the professor disputes the passage in the point that financial support for archaeologists was inadquate.

Third, the new guideline has created many new jobs for expert archaeologists. The professor suggests that many more jobs have been created at all stages of the achaeological process, namely examing archaeological value of the sites, planning preservation methods, analysing the articrafts, processing the datas and writing essays. As a result, the jobs provided in archaeology has reached its highest number ever in Britain. Thus, it's not as difficult to have a career in archaeology as the passage indicates.

In sum, the passage asserts that archaeology in Britain is facing big difficulties, yet the prefessor refutes that opinion in three perspectives by explaining a new guideline adopted in Britain.

作者: winnie98 时间: 2012-8-19 17:05
批改8.18
TPO16

In the lecture, the professor disagrees with the passage(professor不同意的是文章的观点,而不是文章, 改成the viewpoint in the passage更好 ) that the science of archaeology is facing serious problems in Britain. She ponits out that British government has adopted a series of policies in archaeology, which improved its archaeological situation in all three aspects mentioned in the passage(lecture,是在lecture中提的新政).
First, before establishing any new buidings, the archaeological value of the building has to be examined. According to the passage, the builders often uncovered archaeologically valuable sites. Yet the professor asserts that if a site has valuable articrafts, then archeaologists and local government officials will work together to make a proper plan - either to dig around the site or to excavate properly before building. That directly contradicts what the passage says.

Second, contructional(construction) companies will pay for the archaeological research. The lecturer claims that instead of government, the constructional companies will give financial support for initial excavations of the sites where they plan to build. Thus, archaeologists can investigate a handful of interesting sites with enough fundings. Therefore, the professor disputes the passage in the point(the point in the passage) that financial support for archaeologists was inadquate.

Third, the new guideline has created many new jobs for expert archaeologists. The professor suggests that many more jobs have been created at all stages of the achaeological process, namely examing archaeological value of the sites, planning preservation methods, analysing the articrafts, processing the datas and writing essays. As a result, the jobs provided in archaeology has reached its highest number ever in Britain. Thus, it's not as difficult to have a career in archaeology as the passage indicates.

In sum, the passage asserts that archaeology in Britain is facing big difficulties, yet the prefessor refutes that opinion in three perspectives by explaining a new guideline adopted in Britain.

整体思路清晰，details给的也很好。
注意是point/viewpoint in the reading passage,不要写反。

继续加油O(∩_∩)O

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-21 09:50
8.20
Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

Which one brings you more happiness, your work or social activities? Different people holds varied attitudes: some workaholics find their jobs challenging and meaningful, which attracts them to dedicate most of their time in them; while other hedonist insist that the real pleasure in life lies in people's interaction with friends and relatives. As far as I'm concerned, working give me more happiness.

It is my work that consistently substantiate me with new knowledges and informations. In order to finish projects successfully, one should not only gather necessary information, but also learn more knowledge and technological skills. For example, working in TV station, I sometimes have to watch many foreign television reality shows and analyze the process, budget and target audience of them. My english skill improved and my knowledge about television shows increased after finishing the work. In other words, managing tasks in one's work makes one become more and more professional in his field. For me, seeing myself progress day by day is really pleasant.

The result of works makes my life meaningful to other people. Every job has its unique significance: social workers offer help for underprivileged people; teachers equipped their students with knowledge; artists inspire and relief the public's mental world. Unlike that gained in social activities, the happiness offered by jobs are more profound. To be more specific, it makes people happy not because of fun or relaxation, but the feeling of self-realization and being significant to the world. Thus, the happiness of job is more enduring and worth pursuing for me.

Admittedly, most social activities can bring instant happiness for people. And it thus can recharge people with more energy: watching films or videos makes us relax; attending concert or clubs with friends excites us; talking with parents refresh our minds and gives us confidence. Yet the happiness brought by most social interactions cannot last long - it disappears soon after the activity ends.

In sum, I believe that jobs can bring people more happiness than social activities in that it fulfilled life with knowledge and significance. On the other hand, the enjoyment of social life is ephemeral.

作者: eone1025 时间: 2012-8-21 19:58
不好意思啊上班族比较慢

Which one brings you more happiness, your work or social activities? Different people hold varied attitudes: some workaholics find their jobs challenging and meaningful that attracts them to dedicate most of their time to them（dedicate to这个搭配比较常见，另，这是一个从句，你用分号的话就表示是另外一个句子了）, while other hedonist insist that the real pleasure in life lies in people's interaction with friends and relatives. As far as I'm concerned, working gives me more happiness. job offers me more happiness（我觉得这样写会不会好一点，以前上xdf的时候老师说尽量避免give啊之类的词的使用，个人意见）.

It is my work that consistently substantiate me with new knowledge and information（我隐约记得这两个都是不可数的，但是这句话有点复杂是要表达工作提高了我的知识面吗？）. In order to finish projects successfully, one should not only gather necessary information, but also learn more knowledge and technological skills. For example, working in TV station, sometimes I have to（为什么是不得不） watch many foreign television reality shows and analyze the process, budget and target audience of them（看show不能够看到人家的具体预算吧??应该是要再去调查他们的资料吧）. My English skill got improved and my knowledge about television shows increased after finishing the work. When my job was done, I have my English skill improved and acquired more acquaintance of television shows.（我觉得改成这样会更好） In other words, managing（在这里用这个词有点语意不明） tasks in one's work makes one become more and more professional in the field.（可以讲一下快乐是因为这个原因，再接后面你的个人观点）For me, seeing myself progress day by day is really pleasant.

The result of works makes my life meaningful to other people. Every job has its unique significance: social workers offer help for underprivileged people; teachers equipped their students with knowledge; artists inspire and relief the public's mental world. Unlike that gained from social activities, the happiness offered by jobs is more profound. To be more specific, it makes people happy not because of fun or relaxation, but the feeling of self-realization and being significant to the world. Thus, the happiness of job is more enduring and worth pursuing for me.

Admittedly, most social activities can bring instant happiness for people. And it thus can recharge people with more energy: watching films or videos makes us relax; attending concert or clubs with friends excites us; talking with parents refresh our minds and gives us confidence. Yet the happiness brought by most social interactions cannot last long - it disappears soon after the activity ends.

In sum, I believe that jobs can bring people more happiness than social activities in that it fulfilled life with knowledge and significance. On the other hand, the enjoyment of social life is ephemeral.

要注意细节方面的问题，如果其他方面都很好这个细节可能会影响你的得分哦。
思路方面我觉得很好了，第二段的表述可能需要简练精确一些。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-22 09:25
TPO19

The lecturer disputes the reading passage which asserts that buzzers are not reliable and should be banned. He explains according to his personal experience that the passage is misleading and will leave wrong impression on consumers.

First, buzzers tell truth. The passage suggests that buzzers lie to consumers because they are paid to praise the product. However, the lecturer holds that buzzers, although paid for what they say, convey correct information about the product according to their usage about it. For instance, the speaker thinks the service of the phone he is buzzing is really great. This is one point the lecture contradicts the passage.

Second, consumers do not believe in whatever buzzers say. Actually, they ask a lot of questions about the price, service and how long can the product lasts. And if the answers are not satisfying, they would not buy it. That directly contradicts to the passage which states that the consumers are not on guard and will accept all claims of buzzers.

Third, buzzers will raise the trust among people. A company's ability to recruit buzzers shows the good quality and reliability of its products. Thus, people who buy the products will have a good experience, and thereby become more trustful and open to other people. So buzzing will not lead to spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty.

In sum, the passage displays that the new advertising method 'buzzing' should be banned, yet the lecturer refutes the three points listed in the passage and gives his own proofs.

作者: 浅吟天 时间: 2012-8-22 12:15
黄色模版加好的，绿色批注红色我改的

The lecturer disputes the reading passage which asserts that buzzers are not reliable and should be banned. He explains according to his personal experience that the passage is misleading and will leave（a）wrong impression on consumers.

First, buzzers tell truth. The passage suggests that buzzers lie to consumers because they are paid to praise the product. However, the lecturer holds that buzzers, although paid for what they say, convey correct information about the product according to their usage about it. For instance, the speaker thinks the service of the phone he is buzzing is really great. This is one point the lecture contradicts the passage.

Second, consumers do not believe in whatever buzzers say. Actually, they ask a lot of questions about the price, service and how long can the product lasts. And if the answers are not satisfying, they would not buy it. That directly contradicts（换个词呢） to the passage which states that the consumers are not on guard and will accept all claims of buzzers.

Third, buzzers will raise the trust among people. A company's ability to recruit buzzers shows the good quality and reliability of its products. Thus, people who buy the products will have a good experience, and thereby become more trustful and open to other people. So buzzing will not lead to spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty.

In sum, the passage displays that the new advertising method 'buzzing' should be banned, yet the lecturer refutes the three points listed in the passage and gives his own proofs.

认真看了，我。。。挑不出毛病了。。。

很好，点都到了，关键是写的很还原原文。

请问这是一遍听出了的结果吗？你的笔记记的好棒听的真的很细！

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-24 11:41
For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

For most university students, it's hard to make a balance between social activities and study. A question that usually confuses us is that what proportion of our time should we give to these two parts? Some believe that communication skill is far more important since the help from others is critical to success; while others hold that students should study hard at school so as to acquire the knowledge and skills which are essential in their career development. Both sides bear merits, I think it depends on what one's future job is.

There are positions which put great emphasis on communication crafts, namely diplomat, PR and salesman. Others' colaboration for people on these jobs counts the most: a diplomat has to meditate between different countries; a PR tries best to promote a good company image to the public and cooperators; salesman make every effort to sell his product to consumers. If they just sit at home and study alone, it's hard for them to have an opportunity to communicate with others, let along practicing and improving their social skills. Therefore, for students who want to find a job in careers which appreciate broad association and excellent social manner and skills, they had better spend more time on practicing how to relate well to others.

Yet for people who plan to get a position in art or IT industry, upgrading their professional skills is far more helpful. Considering those famous artists, they communicate with others through paintings, music, writting and performance instead of oral words. Outstanding artists like the Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh, German musician Wagner and English writer Alexander Pop all find it hard to talk with others properly. However, their poor communication ability do not a bit affect them creating abundant masterpieces which gained respect worldwide. Likewise, technological workers work with machines instead of people. Thus, it is the quality of their works, but not communication crafts, that decides their professional skills. In that sense, studying hard at school is more important for students specialized in art and IT field.

In sum, both relating well to other people and studying hard at school are helpful to one's career success in the future, yet one must make more effort on the one that is more valued in his future position.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-24 20:25

For most university students, it'shard to make a balance between social activities and study. A question thatusually confuses us is that what proportion of our time should we give to thesetwo parts? Some believe that communication skill is far more important sincethe help from others is critical to success; while others hold that studentsshould study hard at school so as to acquire the knowledge and skills which areessential in their career development. Both sides bear merits; I think itdepends on what one's future job is.

There are positions ~~which~~ （that ）put great emphasis on communication crafts, namely diplomat, PR and salesman. Others' collaboration for people on these jobscounts the most(这句话看不懂，是一种固定用法吗？): a diplomathas to meditate between different countries; a PR tries best to promote a goodcompany image to the public and cooperators; salesman make every effort to sellhis product to consumers. If they just sit at home and study alone, it's hardfor them to have an opportunity to communicate with others, let alongpracticing and improving their social skills. Therefore, for students who wantto find a job in such careers, which appreciate broad association ~~and~~(as well as ) excellentsocial manner and skills, they had better ~~spend~~ (devote) more time onpracticing how to relate well to others.

Yet for people who plan to get aposition in art or IT industry, upgrading their professional skills is far morehelpful. Considering those famous artists, they communicate with others throughpaintings, music, writing and performance instead of oral words. Outstandingartists like the Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh, German musician Wagner andEnglish writer Alexander Pop all find it hard to talk with others properly.However, their poor communication ability does not a bit affect them creating abundant masterpieces ~~which~~ that gained respectworldwide. Likewise, technological workers work with machines instead ofpeople. Thus, it is the quality of their works, but not communication crafts,that (定于从句 that 一般在句中，而which可以用逗号分开)decides their professional skills. In that sense, studying hard at schoolis more important for students specialized in art and IT field.

In sum, both relating well to otherpeople and studying hard at school are helpful to one's career success in thefuture, yet one must make more effort on the one that is more valued in hisfuture position.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-25 14:19
8.25
TPO23
In the lecture, the professor asserts that we still do not know the real cause of yellow cedar declination. He disputes the passage in that none of the three hypothesis presented is adquate.

First, the cedar bark beetle only attack cedars that already damaged their sack. According to the lecture, healthy cedars are more resistant than many other trees to bark beetles, and those beetles attacks onlu cedars which are no longer able to grow. Therefore, cedar bark beetle is not the fundamental cause of cedar decrease. That directly contrasts what the passage indicates.

Second, there's no brown bear in costal islands near northwestern North America. The professor points out that although there's no bear in the islands, the cedars there was also declined as that in mainland northwestern North America. Thus, the bears are not the cause of overall decline of cedar population. That is another part where the lecture contradicts what the passage says.

Third, the passage suggests that climate change causes the change in the timing of cedar root growth, which may leads to root damage and population decrease. However, the lecturer claimes that cedars in relatively higher elevation in colder places are not declining at a speed which those in lower elevation with warmer temperature do. Thus, climate is not responsible for undermining the cedar population in North America.

In sum, the passage listed three possible explainations for cedar decline in northwestern North America, yet the professor says that none of them is sufficient and gives his own proofs.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-25 19:12
您好， 8月23号的独立您还没有给我改。。。8月24号的综合你好像也没有写，也没有给我改。。。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-26 09:45

您好， 8月23号的独立您还没有给我改。。。8月24号的综合你好像也没有写，也没有给我改。。。

-- by 会员 sherryzhangh (2012/8/25 19:12:02)

独立我给你改了呀`综合那个我给忘了8.24占过座了。不好意思，马上给你改～！

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-26 09:45
8.26
TPO24
In the lecture, the professor refutes the passage which says that the fossil of T.rex contains remains of the actual tissues. He ponits out that there are still many facts that cast doubts on that viewpoint.

First, bacterials can also leave remains in small branching channels. According to the passage, a soft, flexible organic substance found in the channels, where blood vessels once located, is the remains of the actual blood vessel of T.rex. Yet the professor asserts that the substance can also be left by bacterials colonies which once existed in the hollows and bones.

Second, the presence of spheres might be theremains of original minerals. The lecturer says that those spheres are also found in many primitive animals which do not have red blood cells. Therefore, the spheres are not necessarily the remains of red blood cells: it could be remains of original minerals. That directly contradicts to what the passage indicates.

Third, the collagen matrix may came from human skin. The passage suggests that the the collagen contained in the dinosaur's leg is a biomechemical material in the dinasaur's bone tissue. However, the professor points out the fact that no collegan can exist for more than 100,000 years. Thus, the collegan may came from skin of the researchers who are handling the bone, since the fossil of T.rex is already 70 million years old. That is another part where the lecture contrasts the passage.

In a nutshell, the passage holds that the recently found 70-million-year-old dinosaur fossil contains remains of the actual tissues, yet the prfessor reputes that the idea is skeptical in three aspects and gives his own proofs.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-26 11:30
噢，您改错了，您应该改23号的，改成24号的了。。。

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-26 13:14

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

In the lecture, the professor asserts that we still do not know the real cause of yellow cedar declination. He disputes the passage in that none of the three hypothesis presented is adquate.

First, the cedar bark beetle only attack cedars that already damaged their sack. According to the lecture, healthy cedars are more resistant than many other trees to bark beetles, and those beetles attacks onlu（这个） cedars which are no longer able to grow. Therefore, cedar bark beetle is not the fundamental cause of cedar decrease. That（this） directly contrasts what the passage indicates.

Second, there's no brown bear in costal islands near northwestern North America. The professor points out that although there's no bear in（on） the islands, the cedars there was also declined as that in mainland northwestern North America. Thus, the bears are not the cause of overall decline of cedar population. That is another part where the lecture contradicts what the passage says.

Third, the passage suggests that climate change causes the change in the timing of cedar root growth, which may leads to root damage and population decrease. However, the lecturer claimes（claims） that cedars in relatively higher elevation in colder places are not declining at a speed which those in lower elevation with warmer temperature do. Thus, climate （change） is not responsible for undermining the cedar population in North America.

In sum, the passage listed three possible explainations for cedar decline in northwestern North America, yet the professor says that none of them is sufficient and gives his own proofs.

整体还是不错，小处注意下就好。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-27 09:25

噢，您改错了，您应该改23号的，改成24号的了。。。

-- by 会员 sherryzhangh (2012/8/26 11:30:45)

怪不得我说题目怎么不一样= =我冏

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-27 16:43

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

TPO24
In the lecture, the professor refutes the passage which says that the fossil of T.rex contains remains of the actual tissues. He ponits out that there are still many facts that cast doubts on that viewpoint.

First, bacterials（这个？） can also leave remains in small branching channels. According to the passage, a soft, flexible organic substance found in the channels, where blood vessels once located, is the remains of the actual blood vessel of T.rex. Yet the professor asserts that the substance can also be left by bacterials colonies which once existed in the hollows and bones.

Second, the presence of spheres might be the remains of original minerals（its original source may be minerals, 应该是这个意思吧？）. The lecturer says that those spheres are also found in many primitive animals which do not have red blood cells（听力中是animals which lived in the same place?）. Therefore, the spheres are not necessarily the remains of red blood cells: it could be remains of original minerals. That directly contradicts to what the passage indicates.

Third, the collagen matrix may came from human skin. The passage suggests that the the collagen contained in the dinosaur's leg is a biomechemical material in the dinasaur's bone tissue. However, the professor points out the fact that no collegan can exist for more than 100,000 years. Thus, the collegan may came from skin of the researchers who are handling the bone, since the fossil of T.rex is already 70 million years old（我觉得把这半句提前到那个years后面比较好一点。比较好看出因果关系）. That is another part where the lecture contrasts the passage.(这段还是不错)

In a nutshell, the passage holds that the recently found 70-million-year-old dinosaur fossil contains remains of the actual tissues, yet the prfessor reputes that the idea is skeptical in three aspects and gives his own proofs.

听力的内容大致都在，就是细节有一点少。有一点就是楼主把每段开头都是把听力的最主要的点先写，这样倒不错。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-28 15:56
Know a person from type of friends that he has,agree or disagree

What factors would you take into consideration when making friends? Usually, people love to be with someone who has similar value system, social background and interests. Thus, I believe that we can know a person from the type of friends he has. And my reasons are listed as follows.

The interests of one's friends always reflect his own interests. People naturally want to stay more with those who have the same interests with themselves. This is because same interests are the lubricate of the conversation: two friends will have many things to say on a topic which attracts them both; the mental distance of the two will be closer and that makes it easier for them to exchange more private thoughts. However, without common interest, both two will feel bored by the conversation, in which both two sides try hard to pretend interest in the other's speech. As a result, they will prefer not to further contact each other since they do not want to suffer enduring the boredness any more. Therefore, people find friends who has similar interests with themselves and their friends, in return, can show their likings.

More importantly, the friends one have are good indicators of his background. Seldom have we seen anyone who make friends with people whose social backgrounds are so different from that of himself. And the reason is self-evident: the gap between value system, economic strength and lifestyle is impeachable. Considering a child from a prestigious political family and one from a family who live on social welfare, although the two may have similar interest, it's impossible for them to agree on most points in life - one eat luxurious food while the other eat only a pie, or one always play in top grad clubs while the other only watch television in his spare time. Brought up by totally different methods, the two will surely disputes on many points, which could be easily avoided if having similar backgrounds. Thus, one's friends tell the background of him.

Admittedly, there are occasions where people cannot choose friends arbitrarily. In many cases, people are forced to be with people longer for geographical closeness, namely deskmate, roomate and team member. Whether like it or not, one have to manage to get on well with them and be good friends with them. In that way, knowing one's friends could not help understanding him.

In a nutshell, we can learn a person from the type of friends he made since friends are, despite of some undefiable arrangement, often valid refections one's interest and background.

作者: 夜游的恶鸟 时间: 2012-8-28 17:13
______错误 ______不恰当 _____修改 _____好！
改：
Knowa person from type of friends that he has, agree or disagree

What factors would you take into consideration when making friends? Usually,people love to be with someone who has similar value system, social backgroundand interests. Thus, I believe that we can know a person from the type offriends he has. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Theinterests of one's friends always reflect his own interests. Peoplenaturally want to stay more with those who have the same interests withthemselves. This is because same interests are the lubricate of the conversation: two friends willhave many things to say on a topic which attracts them both; the mentaldistance of the two will be closer and that makes it easier for them toexchange more private thoughts. However, without common interest, both two willfeel bored by the conversation, in which both two sides try hard to pretendinterest in the other's speech. As a result, they will prefer not to furthercontact each other since they do not want to suffer enduring the boredness（没有这个词啊boring things）anymore. Therefore, people find friends who has（have） similar interests withthemselves and their friends, inreturn, can show their likings.

More importantly, the friends one have（has） are good indicators of hisbackground. Seldom have we seenanyone who make（makes） friends with people whosesocial backgrounds are so different from that of himself. And the reason isself-evident: the gap between value system, economic strength and lifestyle is impeachable. Considering achild from a prestigious political family and one from a family who live onsocial welfare, although the two may have similar interest, it's impossible forthem to agree on most points in life - one eat luxurious food while the othereat only a pie, or one always play in top grad clubs while the other only watchtelevision in his spare time. Brought up by totally different methods, the twowill surely disputes on many points, which could be easily avoided if havingsimilar backgrounds. Thus, one's friends tell the background of him. （例子很好，可以加一下不同的背景使他们不能相互理解作为过渡，从而在很多观点上产生分歧而不能做朋友）

Admittedly, there are occasions where people cannot choose friends arbitrarily(会不会太严重用这个词). In many cases, people areforced to be with people longer for geographical closeness, namely deskmate, roomate（roommate） and team member. Whetherlike it or not, one have to manage to get on well with them and be good friendswith them. In that way, knowing one's friends could not help understanding him.

In a nutshell, we can learn a person from the type of friends he made sincefriends are, despite of some undefiable(indefinable)arrangement, often valid refections（reflections of）one's interest and background.

作者: 夜游的恶鸟 时间: 2012-8-28 17:18
fairyfinger的作文用词都很高级啊，句法也非常丰富，连接词也有的很恰当，只是有些拼写可能因为时间原因会有一点小错误，好厉害啊！学习学习！！

只是下次还是把连接放在占座的地方啊~~每次都要找到你再过来批改啊~~

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-31 23:10
8.31
Do you agree or disagree,people who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village?

With the development of transportation, nowadays it's convenient for people to leave their hometown and work or study in bigger cities or even abroad. They believe that going to better places can broaden their horizons and offer them more opportunities; yet others holds that the difficulties they have to face are too harsh, and that their own village is more comfortable for living. As far as I'm concerned, mostly, people who leave their villege for a better city can be more happier and successful than those who stay in their villege. And my reasons are listed as follows.

More well-developed cities provide more chances for one's career development. Big cities has unparallable advantages for people who want to make great achievements: undergraduates are given chances to intern or start their career in world's top 500 companies; people can attend global conferences and meet successful people more occasionally; people are more likely to work with international professionals and can learn a lot from their working method and attitude. All those factors can equip one with more professional skills and working methods, which are essential to get a promotion. On the contrary, most famous international companies do not have branches in villages, and professional people are also few in small towns. Thus, living in one's village will leave one with less job opportunities and less successful role models to learn after. And people who prefer not to go out would thereby lose abundant opportunities in their way to success.

In big cities, there are more various entertainment facilities and activities for citizens. Thanks to a more international environment and a stronger economic strength, residents in big cites enjoy numerous ways of relaxing and pleasing themselves: a large number of shopping malls offers people a variety of top brand clothes; assorted coffee bars and night clubs are good places for people to release pressure and talk with friends; abundant number of art exhibitions, concerts and operas fill residents' spare time more colorfully and excitingly. Yet if one stays in village, he could only entertain himself with books, musics or televisions. Therefore, living in big cities is more pleasant than living in villages.

Admittedly, there exist more working and living pressure in big cities. Due to the fierce competition and high price of goods, citizens in well-developed cities often are confronted with more challenges. Yet if they do not surrender and maintain an optimistic attitude, they will be stronger than before and thus lead a happy life in cities.

In sum, although faced with more challenges, people should go out from their villages to better places so as to live a happier and more successful life.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-9-2 12:06
9.1综合
In the lecture, the professor refutes the passage that the drawbacks of online encyclopedias are insignificant comparing to the contributions they have made. And he points out that the passage is ignorant about and have prejudice against the advantages of online encyclopedias.

First, the faults in online encyclopedias can easily be corrected. According to the passage, online encyclopedia are often partially informed or downright inaccurate since they lack academic credentials. However, the professor asserts that traditional encyclopedias are never close to perfect either. More importantly, the mistakes made in online encyclopedias can be corrected, yet those found in printed books remain for decades. In that sense, online encyclopedias bear less errors than traditional ones do. That is one point the lecture directly contradicts to the reading passage.

Second, special supervision method are employed for protecting the original content of online encyclopedias. The lecturer claims that there are two commonly used methods in preventing the hackings: one is using the read-only format so that no changes could be made to the original text; another is hiring a special editor who makes sure that any malicious change made to encyclopedias are deleted. In that way, unscrupulous users and hackers cannot threaten the original correctness of online encyclopedias. This is another point where the lecture contrasts the passage.

Third, the reflection of diversified interests of the public is actually one of the biggest advantages of online encyclopedias. According to the lecture, due to the limited space of traditional encyclopedias, authoritative professionals or academics are given rights to choose topics, which may not accurately and comprehensively reflect the interests of the general public. Nevertheless, thanks to the online encyclopedias, the diversity of topics can be achieved. Therefore, the lecture oppose the passage which says that online encyclopedias do not offer as correct a sense of proportion as traditional encyclopedias do.

In sum, the passage believes that the communal online encyclopedias are less valuable than printed ones; while the professor disputes the passage that online encyclopedias are advantageous and gives his own proofs.

作者: 羊咩咩yw 时间: 2012-9-2 18:34
In the lecture, the professor refutes the passage that the drawbacks of online encyclopedias are insignificant comparing to the contributions they have made. And he points out that the passage is ignorant about and have prejudice against the advantages of online encyclopedias. (原文并没有说是对在线百科书的优势有偏见，而是说对在线百科发展的忽视，所以这里大观点有错误哟~~)First, the faults in online encyclopedias can easily be corrected. According to the passage, online encyclopedia are often partially informed or downright inaccurate since they lack academic credentials. However, the professor asserts that traditional encyclopedias are never close to perfect either. More importantly, the mistakes made in online encyclopedias can be corrected, yet those found in printed books remain for decades. In that sense, online encyclopedias bear less errors than traditional ones do（这个貌似是个人观点~~放在这里会被扣分的~~）. That is one point the lecture directly contradicts to the reading passage. Second, special supervision method are employed for protecting the original content of online encyclopedias. The lecturer claims that there are two commonly used methods in preventing the hackings: one is using the read-only format so that no changes could be made to the original text; another is hiring a special editor who makes sure that any malicious change made to encyclopedias are deleted. In that way, unscrupulous users and hackers cannot threaten the original correctness of online encyclopedias. This is another point where the lecture contrasts the passage. Third, the reflection of diversified interests of the public is actually one of the biggest advantages of online encyclopedias. According to the lecture, due to the limited space of traditional encyclopedias, authoritative professionals or academics are given rights to choose topics, which may not accurately and comprehensively reflect the interests of the general public. Nevertheless, thanks to the online encyclopedias, the diversity of topics can be achieved. Therefore, the lecture oppose the passage which says that online encyclopedias do not offer as correct a sense of proportion as traditional encyclopedias do. In sum, the passage believes that the communal online encyclopedias are less valuable than printed ones; while the professor disputes the passage that online encyclopedias are advantageous and gives his own proofs.
写得很好的说~~点都覆盖了，句子链接很顺~加油

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-9-3 19:05
fairy ,开学后大家都忙了额。

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-9-3 21:39
啊啊我写了忘了发了～～！！滴汗！快考试了脑子不规律了..

9.2

it is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you agree?

When under severe pressure, what would you do? Some people prefer to go to the cinema or read books, which can temporarily get them away from the current pressure; while others tend to do some sports so as to refresh themselves both physically and mentally. As for me, instead of reading or watching movies, some physical exercises is more suitable and effective. And my reasons are listed as follows.

By doing physical exercises, one can stay in a good health. Nowadays, it is sitting all day long that makes modern people tortured by diseases like adiposity, cardiovascular problems and muscle stiffness. It is highly recommended that people go out in fresh air and do some physical exercise, namely football, basketball, tennis, swimming, running, jogging and badminton, which can activate muscles and maintain physical fitness. On the contrary, if one still prefer to read a book in the sofa or watch a movie in the cinema or in front of his computer, he can hardly had time to move from his seat, which is detrimental to his fitness. In that sense, doing some sports makes people more salubrious than reading or going to the cinema do.

Playing sports games with others is a lubricate for social communication. As almost all sports and exercises need more than one participant, doing sports is also a good way for modern people to create a tighter tie with others. With the development of technology, people in our generation become more and more isolated: working places are segregated by tiny booths, where everyone has his or her own private space; children are addicted to television, computer games or cell-phone apps and thereby seldom go out playing with their neighbors or classmates. However, humans are social animals who instinctively need social interaction. Therefore, doing physical exercises together is better than reading alone or enjoying a film, during which no teamwork or frequent communication is required. Moreover, only after experiencing the limitation of one's own physical strength can one realize how tiny he is and how trivial his worries are.

Admittedly, comparing with physical exercise, reading and seeing a movie is more easily accessible and convenient. This is because they can be achieved without any requirements for place or participants: one can watch a movie online or read a book when waiting a bus or sitting in a subway; one can start put aside a movie or book and choose to continue it at any time without losing any interesting points. For modern people, they are much more time-saving than doing sports.

In sum, although doing physical exercises is more troublesome than enjoying a movie or book, it is much more beneficial to the doers in that it help keeping one's physical fitness and promoting association among modern people.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-9-3 21:44
9.3
Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future?

How one spends his money directly reflects his lifestyle and living philosophy. For people who are accustomed to save most of their salaries, they prefer a safe and stable life; yet for those who spend their major incomes in traveling and vacations, they value more on instant happiness and enjoyment, and their life may be much more colorful and unforgettable. As far as I'm concerned, I tend to spend my salaries on vacations rather than save them in the bank. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Spending money on traveling and vacation is actually an investment. Nowadays, people are confronting with heavy workload, fast living pace and undue pressure. They are, thus, in urgent need of total relaxation, namely go for a trip. A trip means more than just a way of relaxing, it's more about refreshing and self-exploration: one can get rid of his immediate surroundings and his present identity while traveling, and thereby the shuttles of responsibility and social rules will fall off. In that way, one can rethink about his initial dream and recharge himself. People usually work more effectively and proactively after a trip, which in return help them get promoted and earn more money. In short, spending money on vacations enhance one's performance at work, in that traveling is a way to relax as well as regain one's esteem.

More importantly, I strongly believe that people should live every moment to the full since life is ephemeral and caprious. To be more specific, no one can exactly tell when he would die or get severely injured. It is possible that when one finally saved enough money for buying a delicate house, he has already afflicted by a sever cancer; it happens occasionally that a person who plans to take a worldwide trip has been saving money for thirty years, but at the moment he accumulated enough money, he no longer has a vigorous body to go abroad. What do we earn and save money for? The answer is self-evident: enjoying life more. However, youth cannot wait, and death is unpredictable. Only if people seize every chance to do whatever they wish for can they leave no regret when dying. Therefore, it is more suggestive to travel now than to save the dream for the future.

Admittedly, there are occasions under which people may be in desperate need of a large sum of money. Unexpected situations like car accident, kidnapping, severe diseases and robbery all require abundant money. And if people do not have enough deposit, they may die or live in poverty.

In conclusion, it's much more rewarding to spend money on vacations than save them in banks; yet it's necessary to lay aside some salaries in case of emergency.
独立总是时间不够。T T

TPO8
In the lecture, the professor disputes the passage that the memoir of the Chevalier is mostly a reliable source. He believes that the content of the memoir is accurate and demonstrates that in the three episodes mentioned in the passage.

First, instead of being poor, the Chevalier actually just lacks cash. The passage says that the Chevalier borrowed considerable sums of money from a Swiss merchant and thereby was not rich. Yet the professor ponits out that the property gained in parties and gambling must be converted into chases before they can be put into use. Thus, according to the lecturer, the Chevalier had to borrow money while waiting his own money. That is one part where the lecture directly oppose the passage.

Second, the Chevalier in fact had an accurate record of his conversations between Voltair. The professor claims that the Chevalier wrote down every part of their conversation each night after it was over. Moreover, one person who live with the Chevalier confirms that he referred to the records when he wrote his memoir. Therefore, the lecture directly contradicts the passage which doubts the reliability of their conversations since it is impossible for one to remember exact phrases from extended conversations held many years earlier.

Third, many prisoners who had more powerful friends than the Chevalier did were all confined in the prison in Venice. As the passage says, the Chevalier is more likely to have bribed the jailers than to have escaped from the prison through the roof, in that he knew a number of politically well-connected friends. However, the lecturer indicates that prisoners who were more likely to be set free through bribe were still in the prison. Besides, the old Venice government claims that the celling of the prison had to be repaired after the Chevalier's escape. In that sense, the lecture contrasts the passage evidently in terms of the validity of the Chevalier's escaping from the prison roof.

In a nutshell, the passage cast douts on the accuracy of the memoir of the Chevalier and demonstrates it in three episodes; while the lecturer refutes that the memoir could possibly be correct and gives his own proofs.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-9-3 22:09
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

it is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you agree?

When under severe pressure, what would you do? Some people prefer to go to the cinema or read books, which can temporarily get them away from the current pressure; while others tend to do some sports so as to refresh themselves both physically and mentally. As for me, instead of reading or watching movies, some physical exercises is more suitable and effective. And my reasons are listed as follows. （开头不错）

By doing physical exercises, one can stay in a good health. Nowadays, it is sitting all day long that makes modern people tortured by diseases like adiposity, cardiovascular problems and muscle stiffness. It is highly recommended that people go out in fresh air and do some physical exercise, namely football, basketball, tennis, swimming, running, jogging and badminton, which can activate muscles and maintain physical fitness. On the contrary, if one still prefer to read a book in the sofa or watch a movie in the cinema or in front of his computer, he can hardly had（have） time （其实这里我觉得用willing比较好点）to move from his seat, which is detrimental to his fitness. In that sense, doing some sports makes people more salubrious than reading or going to the cinema do.

Playing sports games with others is a lubricate for social communication. As almost all sports and exercises need more than one participant, doing sports is also a good way for modern people to create a tighter tie with others. With the development of technology, people in our generation become more and more isolated: working places are segregated by tiny booths, where everyone has his or her own private space; children are addicted to television, computer games or cell-phone apps and thereby seldom go out playing with their neighbors or classmates. However, humans are social animals who instinctively need social interaction. Therefore, doing physical exercises together is better than reading alone or enjoying a film, during which no teamwork or frequent communication is required. Moreover, only after experiencing the limitation of one's own physical strength can one realize how tiny he is and how trivial his worries are.（最后一句不知道加上还好不，以为上面已经论述完整了哈）

Admittedly, comparing with physical exercise, reading and seeing a movie is more easily accessible and convenient. This is because they can be achieved without any requirements for place or participants: one can watch a movie online or read a book when waiting a bus or sitting in a subway; one can start put aside a movie or book and choose to continue it at any time without losing any interesting points. For modern people, they are much more time-saving than doing sports.

In sum, although doing physical exercises is more troublesome than enjoying a movie or book, it is much more beneficial to the doers in that it help keeping one's physical fitness and promoting association among modern people.

楼主句式多样，词语丰富，论述也很详细，不错的作文呢。

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-9-4 18:45
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

How one spends his money directly reflects his lifestyle and living philosophy. For people who are accustomed to save most of their salaries, they prefer a safe and stable life; yet for those who spend their major incomes in（spend on是固定搭配么？） traveling and vacations, they value more on instant happiness and enjoyment, and their life may be much more colorful and unforgettable. As far as I'm concerned, I tend to spend my salaries on vacations rather than save them in the bank. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Spending money on traveling and vacation is actually an investment. Nowadays, people are confronting with heavy workload, fast living pace and undue pressure. They are, thus, in urgent need of total relaxation, namely go for a trip. A trip means more than just a way of relaxing, it's more about refreshing and self-exploration: one can get rid of his immediate surroundings and his present identity while traveling, and thereby the shuttles of responsibility and social rules will fall off. In that way, one can rethink about his initial dream and recharge himself. People usually work more effectively and proactively after a trip, which in return help them get promoted and earn more money. In short, spending money on vacations enhance one's performance at work, in that traveling is a way to relax as well as regain one's esteem.（这一段真好。）

More importantly, I strongly believe that people should live every moment to the full since life is ephemeral and caprious. To be more specific, no one can exactly tell when he would die or get severely injured. It is possible that when one finally saved enough money for buying a delicate house, he has already afflicted by a sever cancer; it happens occasionally that a person who plans to take a worldwide trip has been saving money for thirty years, but at the moment he accumulated enough money, he no longer has a vigorous body to go abroad. What do we earn and save money for? The answer is self-evident: enjoying life more. However, youth cannot wait, and death is unpredictable. Only if people seize every chance to do whatever they wish for can they leave no regret when dying. Therefore, it is more suggestive to travel now than to save the dream for the future.（这个也是不错）

Admittedly, there are occasions under which people may be in desperate need of a large sum of money. Unexpected situations like car accident, kidnapping, severe diseases and robbery all require abundant money. And if people do not have enough deposit, they may die or live in poverty.（总是感觉这里有点不顺，Unexpected situations like car accident, kidnapping, severe diseases and robbery all require people have enough deposit, and if they do not have abundant money in these cases, they may suffer or even die）

In conclusion, it's much more rewarding to spend money on vacations than save them in banks; yet it's necessary to lay aside some salaries in case of emergency.

总体说很好，就是说理很多，举个具体的例子吧。

TPO8
In the lecture, the professor disputes the passage that the memoir of the Chevalier is mostly a reliable source. He believes that the content of the memoir is accurate and demonstrates that in the three episodes mentioned in the passage.

First, instead of being poor, the（the这里不用吧） Chevalier actually just lacks cash. The passage says that the Chevalier borrowed considerable sums of money from a Swiss merchant and thereby was not rich. Yet the professor ponits out that the property gained in parties and gambling must be converted into chases（cash）before they can be put into use. Thus, according to the lecturer, the Chevalier had to borrow money while waiting his own money. That is one part where the lecture directly oppose（第三人称单数） the passage.

Second, the Chevalier in fact had an accurate record of his conversations between Voltair. The professor claims that the Chevalier wrote down every part of their conversation each night after it was over. Moreover, one person who live with the Chevalier confirms （这里应该用过去式）that he referred to the records when he wrote his memoir. Therefore, the lecture directly contradicts the passage which doubts the reliability of their conversations since it is impossible for one to remember exact phrases from extended conversations held many years earlier.

Third, many prisoners who had more powerful friends than the Chevalier did（这里did是强调的意思么？）were all confined in the prison in Venice. As the passage says, the Chevalier is more likely to have bribed the jailers than to have escaped from the prison through the roof, in that he knew a number of politically well-connected friends. However, the lecturer indicates that prisoners who were more likely to be set free through bribe were still in the prison. Besides, the old Venice government claims that the celling of the prison had to be repaired after the Chevalier's escape. In that sense, the lecture contrasts the passage evidently in terms of the validity of the Chevalier's escaping from the prison roof.

In a nutshell, the passage cast douts on the accuracy of the memoir of the Chevalier and demonstrates it in three episodes; while the lecturer refutes that the memoir could possibly be correct and gives his own proofs.

时态和人称一致就好，听力和句子都木有问题

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-9-5 15:27
9.4

Agree or disagree, an effective leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making.

How to define an effective leadership? The answer vary from person to person: some believe that a good leader should be cooperative and open to suggestions from team members; while others claims that only if a leader can make all the decisions for his team member can the teamwork process most fastly. As for me, an effective leader need to make everyone feel involved in decision making. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Being in part of a decision making would maximize the potential of every team member. It is a sense of participation that makes everyone behave more proactive to manage the goal: one would undoubtedly feel responsible for his own decision since he wants to prove he is right. On the contrary, if a leader prefer to make decisions alone rather than discuss with his team, his team members would just wish to finish the assigned work as quickly as they can, regardless of the quality. What's even worse? One would tend to deliberately finish the assignment badly as a way of detesting. Therefore, a sense of participation in decision making is critical for raising the morale of team members, and thus help the project progress more smoothly and vigorously.

The enrollment of all members is a catalyst for better cooperation within the team. Only when everyone takes part in decision making can each of them understand fully the big picture of the project and the specific role his work plays. In that way, the result will turn out to be closer to the initial expectation. More importantly, instead of blaming others, all members will take the responsibility if the decision proves to be wrong. In short, making decisions together tighten the tie between team members both in and after the work.

Admittedly, allowing each team member to freely express his own idea and harmonizing them is difficult and time-consuming. For instance, a supposedly one-hour meeting may extend to a five-hour one since disputes among members will result in heated debate. Thus, the efficiency of the leadership will deteriorate.

In sum, although it takes more time to let everyone participate in decision making, it is quite rewarding in that the work can process more effectively and the result will be more close to the anticipation.

作者: tracyn 时间: 2012-9-5 22:14
改好喽~~~
有个问题就是，这个题问的是agree or diagree the statement an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making. 但是你转换的两个方面好像不对，有点太极端了~~也就是说agree 是leader一直是考虑的，但是diagree是有时不考虑，而不是从来不考虑~~
整个语言很好啦~~赞一个~~向你学习！！！

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-9-6 22:03
fairy 童鞋我得改你的9.6 的综合也就TPO11，但我明天有事如果明天中午12点前没写好的话我可能得过几天改咯提前跟你说下哈

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-9-7 10:59

fairy 童鞋我得改你的9.6 的综合也就TPO11，但我明天有事如果明天中午12点前没写好的话我可能得过几天改咯提前跟你说下哈

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/9/6 22:03:42)

啊正好我还想跟你说呢我这明天考试了，这会儿要走了。回来再给你改！：）

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-9-12 09:46
上次上网的时候,看见你的留言,你都考完了,我就想还改不改呢

... 然后我现在在上课才有网..

fairy 童鞋我得改你的9.6 的综合也就TPO11，但我明天有事如果明天中午12点前没写好的话我可能得过几天改咯提前跟你说下哈

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/9/6 22:03:42)

啊正好我还想跟你说呢我这明天考试了，这会儿要走了。回来再给你改！：）

-- by 会员 fairyfinger (2012/9/7 10:59:03)

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