标题: Franchise 的写作贴 Practice. Practice. Practice [打印本页] 作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-7-19 20:44 标题: Franchise 的写作贴 Practice. Practice. Practice 9月2日 西安。
大家共同提高！ 作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-7-19 21:58
7.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.
As for me, I definitely agree with this statement that it is impossible to be completely honest with our friend. I hold the opinion that honest is an essential part which plays a significant role in friendship. Never the less, according to facts I have known, it does not work well in friendship all the time.
First of all, being honest is a great virtue for friends. When we consider someone as friends, it means that we trust them and share private things with them. What's more, the secrets shared by friends sometimes should not be leaked out. If one leak out the secrets, even by accident, it is impossible for them to be good friends again in that case obviously. Without honesty, friends each other will lose trust and their friendship is will be over ultimately.
However, we can never always be honest with our friends. For one thing, it is sometimes a difficult thing to be frank and say what we have in our mind directly. For example, if our friends get very gat, it is not that polite to point out that problem they get straightforwardly. Cause if you do that, your friends may think you just want to humiliate them. That is just one case we can not always be honest. For another, in the world we live, it is necessary to disguise ourselves just like some other species do in nature. If not, those species will be preyed by predator easily and be eliminated in the end. Similarly, this state of affairs is apply to human being. So, it's high doubtful if human being can survive in the perilous world if we are completely honest.
Also, everyone has his own secret that don't want to share with anybody, even his parents and close friends. Although friends can talk about almost everything they have interest in, they can never be transparent to each other. That's a special features for human beings who owns his own inner world. Only in that way, we can be unique and independent. Granted, people should communicate their feeling and thoughts with friends and share the emotion with them, but I think it does not mean it is smart for them to tell everything to friends with no limitation.
To sum up, we can not be completely honest with our friend. But in most cases, we can be friendly, comparatively speaking, and show no harm to our friends.作者: hui刀 时间: 2012-7-20 11:07 红色为修改， 蓝色为建议 Asfor me, I definitely agree with this statement that it is impossible to becompletely honest with our friend. I hold the opinion that honest（honesty） is an essential part which plays a significant rolein friendship. Never the less(笔误？ nevertheless),according to facts I have known, it does not work well in friendship all thetime.
First of all, beinghonest is a great virtue for friends. When we consider someone as friends, itmeans that we trust them and share private things with them. What's more, the secrets （secrets,有复数就不用定冠词）sharedby friends sometimes should not be leaked out. If one leak out the secrets,even by accident, it is impossible for them to be good friends again in thatcase obviously. Without honesty, friends each other will lose trust andtheir friendship is will be over ultimately.
However, we cannever always be honest with our friends. For one thing, it is sometimes adifficult thing to be frank and say what we have in our mind directly. Forexample, if our friends get very gat（手枪？or fat？）, it is not that polite topoint out that problem they get straightforwardly. Cause if you do that, yourfriends may think you just want to humiliate them. That is just one case we cannot always be honest. For another, in the world we live, it is necessaryto disguise ourselves just like some other species do in nature. If not, thosespecies will be preyed by predator easily and be eliminated in the end.Similarly, this state of affairs is apply to (applies to) human being. So, it's high(highly) doubtful if human being can survive in the perilousworld if we are completely honest.
Also, everyone hashis own secret that don't（缺少主语he, 主谓一致doesn’t） want to share with anybody, even his parents andclose friends. Although friends can talk about almost everything they haveinterest in, they can never be transparent to each other. That's a special features(前面是a ,所以用feature) for human beings（改成every person，与后文owns, his对应） who owns hisown inner world. Only in that way, we can be unique and independent. Granted,people should communicate their feeling and thoughts with friends and share theemotion with them, but I think it does not mean it is smart for them to telleverything to friends with no（without） limitation.
To sum up, we cannot be completely honest with our friend. But in most cases, we can befriendly, comparatively speaking, and show no harm to our friends.
楼主行文很流畅，但条件状语从句使用频繁使得句式有点单一~作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-7-25 14:25
7.24 Do you agree or disagree: There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
The statement says there is never a reason to be rude to another person. In my view, I can not agree with this statement for the reasons below. I believe that sometimes it is very necessary to be rude to another person in some cases.
First of all, as human beings, the nature of us is to survive in this world. So it is definitely impossible to be always polite to others. We have to struggle and compete in almost everything. Obviously, in competing with others, being polite means to be a loser. We can not show mercy to other competitors if we really want to win.
Granted, in some cases, there is a reason to be polite to another person such as our family and our close friends, but if we are rude to them, our relations will be damaged. That's not what we expect in our life. Lost of friends and a good relationship can frustrate us and make us down in a long time. Also, being rude to others can cause other problems. When you treat others impolitely, it it very possible they treat you in the same way. For example, when I talk with people with a smile, usually the conversation is in a cordial and friendly atmosphere. Nevertheless, when I show a little angry or dissatisfied, the conversation sometimes can not even go on. So, in some cases we'd better be polite to others for good.
这篇观点实在想不出了。改的同学先改前面3段吧。我再研究研究-。-作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-25 21:11 7.24 Do you agree or disagree: There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
The statement says there is never a reason to be rude to another person. In my view, I can not agree with this statement for the reasons below. I believe that sometimes it is very necessary to be rude to another person in some cases. 开篇没有问题，观点鲜明，就是有点生硬呦~ 第二句和第三句可以换一下位置，另外句子可以更丰富一些，改成：
(第一句保留.) However, the information I’ve collected from the last few years leads to believe that it is necessary to express rudeness to others in some circumstances. Therefore, I can’t agree with the statement. The reasons are as follows. First of all, as human beings, the nature of us is to survive in this world. So it is definitely impossible to be always polite to others. We have to struggle and compete in almost everything. Obviously, in competing with others, being polite means to be a loser. We can not show mercy to other competitors if we really want to win. 观点很好很好！句子和语言也没问题~再加个例子就更好啦！！
Granted, in some cases, there is a reason to be polite to another person such as our family and our close friends, but if we are rude to them, our relations will be damaged（前半句有什么作用？逻辑感觉有点问题嗫~）. That's not what we expect in our life. Losts of friends and a good relationship can frustrate us and make us down in a long time(什么意思？为什么relationship会frustrate我们？最好给一个更清楚的解释). Also, being rude to others can cause other problems（到底站在哪一边嗫？？？）. When you treat others impolitely, it it very possible they treat you in the same way. For example, when I talk with people with a smile, usually the conversation is in a cordial and friendly atmosphere. Nevertheless, when I show a little angry or dissatisfied, the conversation sometimes can not even go on. So, in some cases we'd better be polite to others for good.感觉有点迷惑。。。。楼主到底站在哪一边嗫？
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
With the rapid development of the media, we are now able to get access to the news happening all over the world more conveniently and rapidly. So, there is a debate that whether people should pay attention to the events, which may have nothing to do with people themselves. In my view, I believe we should not focus on the events which have little influence on ourselves. Our lifetime is limited, so we should focus on the most important thing in our lives. For example, if we have our commitment and dedication to achieve a personal goal, the best way to get it is to focus on ourselves and make great efforts till it is done. We have too little time to care about other events, let alone those irrelevant events. Nevertheless, it is our life that we should concentrate on. So, using those precious time to improve our lives is the sensible behave in our significance lives.
Also, it is time for us to decide whether we should spend our precious time on those irrelevant things. Technology apart, the Internet points the way to a reason why why we feel so time-pressed: the information explosion. Nowadays, we can easily get the information about events, almost anytime and anywhere in the world. However, we can not just be a viewer in this world. For instance, if people spent lots of time on getting information about the economic crisis, they might just waste unnecessary time and without making any effort to get a job.
Last but not the least, granted, knowing the events happening around the world may help us accumulate knowledge and broaden our horizon, but it is essential for us to distinguish which events some influence on us. Only in that way, we can avoid being distracted by unimportant things.
In sum, our lifetime is limited, we must know where would we go and how to get there. This world is too big to be all cared by us.作者: kaddish 时间: 2012-7-28 22:40 标题: 修改~~ Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
With the rapid development of the media, we are now able to get access to the news happening all over the world more conveniently and rapidly. So, there is a debate that whether people should pay attention to the events, which may have nothing to do with people themselves. In my view, I believe we should not focus on the events which have little influence on ourselves. Our lifetime is limited, so we should focus on the most important thing in our lives. For example, if we have our commitment and dedication to achieve a personal goal, the best way to get it is to focus on ourselves and make great efforts till it is done. We have too little time to care about other events, let alone those irrelevant events. Nevertheless, （这个连词用的有点诡异，和前面的句子是什么关系）it is our life that we should concentrate on. So, using those precious （those指代什么？上文有出现过么，逻辑上==）time to improve our lives is the sensible behave（behavior） in our significance lives. (这段开头说是引文时间limited，所以要focus on 最重要的事，但结尾说提高自身生活是很必要的，这个中间需要过渡下下吧，这个最重要和提高生活怎么就联系起来了呢)
Also, it is time for us to decide whether we should spend our precious time on those irrelevant things.（好像观点没有说的很透彻，spend time on relevant things 的原因是什么） Technology apart, the Internet points the way to a reason(这个说法好新奇) why we feel so time-pressed: the information explosion. Nowadays, we can easily get the information about events, almost anytime and anywhere in the world. However, we can not just be a viewer in this world. For instance, if people spent lots of time on getting information about the economic crisis, they might just waste unnecessary time and（去掉） without making any effort to get a job.
Last but not the least, granted, knowing the events happening around the world may help us accumulate knowledge and broaden our horizon, but it is essential for us to distinguish which events （have）some influence on us. Only in that way, we can avoid being distracted by unimportant things.
In sum, our lifetime is limited, we must know where would we go and how to get there. This world is too big to be all cared by us. （这句话有点chinglish） 总点评： 优点.语句还挺流畅，特别是granted ,还有：的使用都提高了文章的多样性表达 缺点;有些用词建议再精准些呐，还有第一个和第二个的观点貌似重合了不清晰，让步段的理由也比较牵强，总之呐，楼主多多加油哈！ 作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-8-1 22:32
还有一个月，小组作业要每天都完成。多修改，都记背。这一周的任务是把作文字数从300-350 提升到350到400. 反复记忆好句子。这样写的时候可以轻松些。 8.1
If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging，OR use the telephone or voice-messaging
With the development of industry of communication, people now have more choices to communicate with others for discussion. However, when it comes to unsetting or controversial problems, there are two choices, namely the telephone or voice-messaging to e-mail or text messaging. As for me, I will choose telephone or voice-messaging for the reasons below.
First of all, using the telephone or voice-messaging can transmit information clearly and directly. When we use telephone or voice-messaging, the information can be received effectively. What's more, it saves time for in the same amount of time, the voice can spread far more information than text do. In that way, if we do not want to be misunderstood by others, the best way to communicate is using the telephone or voice-messaging. In that way, the significant thins can be known well immediately which not only make us efficient but also proactive.
What's more, to discuss problems with others by using telephone or voice-messaging can show our attitude clearly. In some cases, the e-mail or text messaging have the limitation to show the true opinions of us. Because we can transmit our upsetting mood by a serious tone. When confronting with upsetting or controversial problems, we can not express our sorrow and pity barely by texts. But voices can show the true feeling directly.
Granted, e-mail or text messaging is more formal compared to phone conversations in some cases , but the most significant part in discussion is that we can get an immediate reaction. More importantly, some problems need instant solutions, so avoiding procrastination by using telephone is the best way to be effective. In conclusion, e-mail or text messaging is appropriate for non-emergency situations.
In sum, if I have some upsetting or controversial problem to discuss with others, I will definitely pick up my cellphone and call them directly. Only in that way, the problems can be solved effectively and immediately.作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-8-2 11:34 蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误 With the development of industry of communication(communication industry), people now have more choices to communicate with others for discussion(for discussion 删去). However, when it comes to unsetting or controversial problems, there are two choices,（Moreover,这样才对吧，不存在转折啊？为什么controversial topicis limited to choice?这个有问题）namely the telephone or voice-messaging to e-mail or text messaging. As for me, I will choose telephone or voice-messaging for the reasons below.应该是四选一吧怎么变成两面了？
First of all, using the telephone or voice-messaging can transmit information clearly and directly. When we use telephone or voice-messaging, the information can be received effectively. What's more, it saves time for in the same amount of time（不明白什么意思。。不过可以肯定地说是有问题的）, the voice can spread far more information than text do（does）.for example…….. In that way, if we do not want to be misunderstood by others, the best way to communicate is using the telephone or voice-messaging. In that way,(重复而且还靠这么近 thus) the significant thins can be known well immediately which not only make us efficient but also proactive.
缺少例子支撑你的观点，efficiently 没体现出来
What's more, to discuss problems with others by using telephone or voice-messaging can show our attitude clearly（换个词？explicitly definitely）. In some cases, the e-mail or text messaging have the limitation to show the true opinions of us. Because we can transmit our upsetting mood by a serious tone. （这个是碎片主句去哪了？）When confronting with upsetting or controversial problems, we can not express our sorrow and pity barely by texts. But voices can show the true feeling directly.
Emotion can not be completely or directly conveyed to the other. 是不是可以和第一段整合到一起去？不然还是会显得很单薄，no example to justify your view Granted,这是连词不能用逗号隔开 e-mail or text messaging is more formal compared to phone conversations in some cases , but the most significant part in discussion is that we can(are obliged to) get an immediate reaction. More importantly, some problems need instant solutions, so avoiding procrastination by using telephone is the best way to be effective. In conclusion, e-mail or text messaging is appropriate for non-emergency situations. 既然是non-emergency situation 那为什么还跟formal这个理由有点牵强。 In sum, if I have some upsetting or controversial problem to discuss with others, I will definitely pick up my cellphone and call them directly. Only in that way, the problems can be solved effectively and immediately.
麻烦去改一下我的作文。。 作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-8-4 23:46
8月4日For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?
Students, who are eager to have a successful and promising career, want to know which is more important, being relate well to other people or studying hard at school. From my point of view, I believe that studying hard at school is superior to good relationship with other people.
First of all, studying hard is a student's own field of endeavour. It is what they should do in their promising and energetic ages. For one thing, the knowledge a student got in college play a significant role in his whole career life. The level of professional knowledge determine how well a student perform in a company . For another, a company usually makes studying hard students take responsibility for vital project for they are tend to be more effective,positive and assiduous. Thus make the diligent students increase in importance in company, leading to a more successful career for them.
Also, the work ethic of a man determines how good he could be in every aspect of life. It is a set of values based on hard work and diligence. Workers exhibiting a good work ethic in theory should be selected for better positions, more responsibility and ultimately promotion. Meanwhile, workers who fail to exhibit a good work ethic may be regarded as failing to provide fair value for the wage the employer is paying them and should not be promoted or placed in positions of greater responsibility. Clearly, students, who study hard in school, are not lack of work ethic. And they are more likely to be successful in their future career.
Granted, being relate well to other people is sort of significant. But it is not the decisive factor for career success. In most cases, the relations with other people mainly depends how excellent students are. For people are more likely to make friends with outstanding person. What's more, taking time to deal with friendship in company is not as effective as focus on one's own job. As friends, they usually waste time on drinking and chatting. Admittedly, it is not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us. So, the most effective way to have an accomplishment in career is concentrating on one's own work.
In sum, studying hard means a student possesses the virtues of confidence, perseverance and positive attitude. Obviously, these virtues are of more importance than having a good relationship with other people .作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-5 21:01 Students, who are eager to have a successful and promising career, want to know which is more important, being relate well to other people or studying hard at school. From my point of view, I believe that studying hard at school is superior to good relationship with other people.
First of all, studying hard is a student's own field of endeavour(弱弱的问句 student's own field是什么意思?). It is what they should do in their promising and energetic ages. For one thing, the knowledge a student got in college play(s) a significant role in his whole career life. The level of professional knowledge determine(s) how well a student perform in a company . For another, a company usually makes(let会不会更好点) studying hard(hard-studying) students take responsibility for vital project(s) for they are tend to be more effective,positive and assiduous. Thus make the diligent students increase in importance in company, leading to a more successful career for them.(这句话的主语呢?)
Also, the work(working) ethic of a man determines how good he could be in every aspect of life. It is a set of values based on hard work and diligence. Workers exhibiting a good work ethic in theory should be selected for better positions, more responsibility and ultimately promotion. Meanwhile, workers who fail to exhibit a good work ethic may be regarded as failing to provide fair value for the wage, the employer is paying them(pays), and should not be promoted or placed in positions of greater responsibility. Clearly, students, who study hard in school, are not lack of work ethic. And they are more likely to be successful in their future career. Granted, being relate well to other people is sort of significant. But it is not the decisive factor for career success. In most cases, the relations with other people mainly depends(depend on) how excellent students are. For people are more likely to make friends with outstanding person. What's more, taking time to deal with friendship in (the) company is not as effective as focus on one's own job(这句话的意思是在公司里处理关系并不和工作一样有效.我觉得你可以说在公司里处理关系会浪费时间从而影响工作.). As friends, they usually waste time on drinking and chatting.(作为朋友,他们通常在drinking and chatting 上浪费时间. 这句话好奇怪啊...按照你上一句,这里应该是"为了be relate well with others你要花很多时间在drinking and chatting上.) Admittedly, it is not who we are underneath(这句话没有看懂...), but what we do that defines us(that应该去掉吧,如果有that那么后面是修饰what的,那句子就没有谓语了.). So, the most effective way to have(achieve) an accomplishment in career is concentrating on one's own work.
In sum, studying hard means a student possesses the virtues of confidence, perseverance and positive attitude.(如果要在这里总结study hard的好处最好是总结你上文提到的好处,而不是另外的好处) Obviously, these virtues are of more importance than having a good relationship with other people .
太不好意思了,那么晚才帮你改.因为今天白天破电脑一直没收到无线... 楼主的些的很不错, 不过有些句子感觉有点awkward.下次要注意一下.作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-8-8 07:51
等你上来哈~~~我也准备写了现在～～作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-8-8 19:25
8月7日 In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
To review the past sometimes means to look back what people have done in order to performance well and solve the problems of the present and the future. As far as I am concerned, it is essential to review the past and learn from the precious experience.
First of all, the past we have went through is the most valuable experience that we possess. For one thing, we have received education in school for years. In those years, we gain not only scientific knowledge but practical experience in solving all kinds of problems we have encountered. What's more, the knowledge and skills we have obtained from books are also available when we make efforts to solve problems. For example, last year, I wanted to grow some flowers in my balcony. So I needed some guidance for doing that. As a student who has searched information in library before, the problems can be easily solved with my past experience.
Second, to review the past is to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Such is human nature, we usually draw useful lessons from our past mistakes. Moreover, we may face the same questions and difficulties we have met before. If we have made disturbing mistakes before, we can learn our lesson from that. Also, in order to do well now and in the future, we should take those negative mistakes as positive motivations. So, it is significant to tackle those problems by reviewing the past.
Granted, reviewing the past for experience plays a viatl role in our lives, but it is not beneficial for us to be totally lost in the past. If we had failures before, most of us would feel depressed and frustrated. Negative experience can make us feeling incompetent, fearful and pessimistic. For us who want to solves problems, don't live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. We should concentrate all our energy and thought upon the trouble we are going to solve. In sum, people should review the past positively rather than negatively.
Taking into account all these factors,if people should view the past in order to solves problems. And the positive attitude about the past is also the crucial thing.作者: guodonghu 时间: 2012-8-9 11:40
8月7日 In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
To review the past sometimes means, in order to perform performance well and solve the problems of the present and the future, to look back what people have done . [这样给人的感觉句子NB一点]As far as I am concerned, it is essential to review the past and learn from the precious experience.
First of all, the past we have gone went through is the most valuable experience that we possess. For one thing, we have received education in school for years. In those years, we gain not only scientific knowledge but practical experience in solving all kinds of problems we have encountered. What's more, the knowledge and skills we have obtained from books are also available when we make efforts to solve problems. For example, last year, I wanted to plant (or cultivate)grow some flowers in my balcony. Because I have never done that before, I needed some guidance. As a student who has learnt how to search information in library before, I solved the problem easily with my experience.
Second, to review the past is to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Such is human nature, we usually draw useful lessons from our past mistakes. Moreover, we may face the same questions and difficulties we have met before. If we have made disturbing mistakes before, we can learn our lesson from that. Also, in order to do well now and in the future, we should take those negative mistakes as positive motivations. So, it is significant to tackle those problems by reviewing the past.
Granted, reviewing the past for experience plays a vitalviatl role in our lives, but it is not beneficial for us to be totally lost in the past. If we had failures before, most of us would feel depressed and frustrated. Negative experience can make us feel feeling incompetent, fearful and pessimistic. For us who want to solves problems, don't live in the past, but from past mistakes and difficult situations,move on [ 这样写可以强调move on ]. We should concentrate all our energy and thought upon the trouble we are going to solve. In sum, people should review the past positively rather than negatively.
Taking into account all these factors,in order to solves problems,people should view the past ,and the positive attitude about the past is also a crucial thing.
8.8号的作文怎么还没写完呢？ 我们有时差么？ 我就帮你改8.7的了，等你写完8.8再说吧。作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-8-14 19:01
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place With the continued improvement of science and technology, the quality of our lives have already improved . As far as I am concerned, I definitely agree the statement that the most significant improvement have taken place for the reasons below.
First of all, because modern medical science has a great leap in development, people's lives can be guaranteed. People can also live a longer lifetime. For one thing, when people have a sickness, they can easily be cured by medicine and technology. The virus can be killed by antibiotic also. Take Penicillin for example, which is a drug that kills bacteria and is used to treat infections. It has saved millions of people's lives since invented. For another, the medical science make people aware that how to keep health, such as doing exercise regularly. People use these knowledge to prevent having diabetes. In sum, the medical science and technology not only improve the quality of people's lives, but their length also.
Second, the development of communication technology also plays an significant role in our modern lives. Granted, there is a huge improvement to be done. But for now, the most significant problem is solved. We can now communicate with our friends and family at any time. By using Internet and cellphone, the way we get useful information is not as hard as used to be. Moreover, with the invention of television and computer, people can utilize them for entertainment and business., thus the quality of people's lives have progresses prominently.
Last but not the least, transport is important since it enables trade between peoples, which in turn establishes civilizations. It also has made people's lives changed in a better way. With vehicles such as cars and airplane, we can travel from one place to another place in a few hours. What's more, people also has went to space by aircraft and rockets. People have already went to the moon and came back safely. Now, to get to wherever we want is not that hard.
In sum, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place. We can enjoy the convenience and high quality lives now.作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-8-14 19:30
8.13 综合。
In the lecture, the professor is skeptical about the idea of reading passage that less young people are reading literature-novels. The professor then gives reasons to prove that it is not only the readers' wrong.
First, in the reading passage, the passage means the decline has been especially sharp for literature for the reason that nothing else provides the intellectual stimulation that literature does. On the contrary, the professor says that it is because the quality of literature of books has declines.
Second, the reading passage describes that many people are more likely to do others things instead of reading. However, professor asserts that culture has changed. There are more action people can directly do.
Third, the professor disproves the reading's idea that so many talented writers lack an audience. Because the professor points out that some of the modern literature are difficult to be understood. In the past, the literature are of good quality also. It is not because there is no support.作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-14 20:17 蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
With the continued (and continuing) improvement of science and technology, the quality of our lives have already improved . As far as I am concerned, I definitely agree with the statement that the most significant improvement have taken place for the reasons below.
First of all, because modern medical science has a great leap in development, people's lives can be guaranteed. People can also live a longer lifetime. For one thing, when people have a sickness, they can easily be cured by medicine and technology. The virus can be killed by antibiotic also. Take Penicillin for example, which is a drug that kills bacteria and is used to treat infections. It has saved millions of people's lives since invented. For another, the medical science make people aware that how to keep health, such as doing exercise regularly. People use these knowledge to prevent having diabetes. In sum, the medical science and technology not only improve the quality of people's lives, but their length(jiao的这个词不是很合适) also.
Second, the development of communication technology also plays an significant role in our modern lives. Granted, there is a huge improvement to be done. But for now, the most significant problem is solved. We can now communicate with our friends and family at any time. By using Internet and cellphone, the way we get useful information is not as hard as used to be. Moreover, with the invention of television and computer, people can utilize them for entertainment and business, thus the quality of people's lives have progresses prominently.
Last but not the least, transport is important since it enables trade between peoples, which in turn establishes civilizations. It also has made people's lives changed in a better way（change into better conditon?）. With vehicles such as cars and airplane, we can travel from one place to another place in a few hours. What's more, people also has went to space by aircraft and rockets. (Three Americans 嘿嘿) People have already went to the moon and came back safely. Now, to get to wherever we want is not that hard.
In sum, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place. We can enjoy the convenience and high quality lives now.
不错额 作者: klllun 时间: 2012-8-14 21:48
亲，我的作文写好咯滴哈，是在你上面那一楼，嘿嘿，自己小小修改了一下，把文章弄的花里胡哨的。不容易看哈。麻烦修改下咯 Inthe lecture, the professor is skeptical about the idea of reading passage thatless young people are reading literature-novels. The professor then givesreasons to prove that it is not only the readers' wrong.（言简意赅，读上去很是舒服啊）
First, in thereading passage, the passage means the decline has been especially sharp forliterature for the reason that nothing else provides the intellectualstimulation that literature does. On the contrary, the professor says that itis because the quality of literature of books has declines.
Second, the readingpassage describes that many people are more likely to do others things insteadof reading. However, professor asserts that culture has changed. There are moreaction people can directly do.（赶脚细节的内容还少了点哦，比如说是去看个电影听首好歌这样的东西） Third, theprofessor disproves the reading's idea that so many talented writers lack anaudience. Because the professor points out that some of the modern literature are is difficult to be understood.In the past, the literature are of good quality also.（加一个thus读上去更有转折性） Itis not because there is no support.
The lecture and the reading passage give contradictory opinions on the topic of ecocertification, a form of accreditation conferred by an international agency in recognition of a company’s ecofriendly practices. The passage explains that it is not necessary for American wood companies to pursue ecocertification while the lecture provides several counterarguments to this view.
Firstly, the lecturer argues that the reading passage is too general in its statement that American consumers reject advertising completely. He asserts that Americans do not trust advertising claims for a product only when these claims are made by the company that sells the product. When a claim is made by an independent third party such as a wood certification company, he posits, consumers respond very positively with strong acceptance of the certified product.
Secondly,the lecturer also refutes the second point in the reading that the price-sensitive American consumers are more likely to choose cheap wood products without certification. The professor contends that certified wood is only slightly more expensive than uncertified wood, and therefore, he argues, consumers will tend to ignore the price difference and choose the eco-friendly product.
Finally, receiving eco-certification is, according to the professor, an important strategy used by American wood companies to ensure that their products can compete against ecocertified wood products imported into the domestic market from foreign countries. According to the reading, however, this strategy is unnecessary because American consumers are likely to be content with domestically manufactured products, even if they are not ecocertified.作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-9-3 20:24
9月2日 独立 It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree?
30min 354 words
People ususally want to relax themselves after a whole day's hard work. Some of them prefer to watch a movie or read a book. While for others, they pursue their energy and loose themselves by doing physical exercise. For me, I prefer to do physical exercise.
First of all, only when we are healthy we can feel peace and relax ourselves totally. For example, when we accidentally have a headache or catch a cold, it is nearly impossible for us to relax. What we worry about most is when can we be cured. Then the we feel nervous till we become healthy again. In that way, doing exercise can gurantee our body health and offer that oppoutunity to be totally relaxed. In sum, we can only be truly relaxed after doing exercise when we in good healthy conditions.
Moreover, doing exercise make a contribution to help us refocus our distracted minds, which in turn makes us peaceful and energetic. Take my experience for example, I usually go to play basketball with my close friends. As soon as I stand on the court, I feel not only excited but focused. Then I just put my mind on the basketball while worring about nothing. It is a significant way to relax for two reasons. Firstly, when I focus on the exercise, all my worries just slip away from my mind, thus make me more proactive. Secondly, after doing exercise, I often will have a sound sleep. As a result, I feel relaxed next few days.
Granted, watching a movie or reading a book can bring us a lot of joy, but it is no better than doing exercise when we are eager to feel relaxed. When we see a scary film at night, most of us will be fearful. The tension, a feeling of worry and anxiety which makes it difficult for us to relax, will dominate us. What's more, when we read a book such as Dear John, the moving story can keep us emotional a whole week.
In sum, doing exercise can be a better way to make people feel relaxed in different aspects. 作者: 面具小姐 时间: 2012-9-3 22:30
9.2 独立作文修改 红色为错误 绿色是建议 没改过几次作文，很多都是凭感觉改的，改错了不要介意哈，指出来共同进步哟~~
Peopleususally(usually) want to relax themselvesafter a whole day's hard work. Some of them prefer to watch a movie or read abook. While for others, theypursue their energy(这个好像有点怪额)and loose(loosen) themselves by doing physical exercise. For me,I prefer to do physical exercise.
First of all, onlywhen we are healthy we can feel peace and relax ourselves totally. For example,when we accidentally have a headache or catch a cold, it is nearly impossiblefor us to relax. What we worry about most is when can we (we can) be cured. Then the we (may) feel nervous till we become healthy again (recover偶尔替换下healthy). In that way, doing exercise can gurantee (guarantee) our body health and offer that(指代好像不清楚。。换成us的话后面还要加冠词) oppoutunity(opportunity) to be totally relaxed . In sum, we canonly be truly relaxed afterdoing exercise when we are in good and healthy conditions.(after和when 我理解你的意思但是我不理解这句子的意思。。。。还有感觉good就够了毕竟healthy出现太多次了。。)
Moreover, doingexercise makes a contribution to help us refocus on our distracted minds, which in turn and makes us peaceful feel at ease and energetic. Take my experience for example.(句号或者分号)I usually go to playing basketball with my close friends. Assoon as I stand on the court, I feel not only excited but focused. Then I just put(fixed) my mind on the basketball while worring(worrying) about nothing. It is a significant way torelax for two reasons. Firstly, when I focus on the exercise, all my worries(这里用worry的话上面可以用concern) just slip away from my mind, thus (没主语。。可以选择不用thus改用which,或者用the basketball做主语, )makes me more proactive. Secondly, after doing exercise, I often will havea sound sleep. As a result, I feel relaxed next few days. (太多I开头了。。可以变换一下句式) （还有。。我个人感觉这段话后面两个理由挺累赘的。。）
Granted, watching amovie or reading a book can bring us a lot of joy, but it is no better thandoing exercise when we are eager to feel relaxed. When we see a scary film atnight, most of us will be fearful. The tension, a feeling of worry and anxietywhich makes it difficult for us (makes us difficult) to relax, will dominate us. What's more, whenwe read a book such as DearJohn, the moving story can keep us emotional (处于某种情绪是in XXX emotion吧。。。) for a whole week.
In sum, doingexercise can be a better way to make people feel relaxed in different aspects. (in sum 用了两次有很多同义词组；最后几个词让人感觉是这是开头不像结尾。。 a better way to relax people会不会好点。。) 作者: E月羽 时间: 2012-9-12 20:30
9月11日独立呢？貌似我改你的作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-9-29 16:15
9.29 综合 TPO9
The professor is skeptical about the idea in the reading passages. She lists three main ideas.
First of all, in the reading, it says that petroleum is a finite resource and will be used out. But for the hydrogen, it cannot easily be depleted. On the contrary, the professor argues that using hydrogen is not a practical solution. For the hydrogen is not available, because it is very difficult to produce and store hydrogen. In addition, it needs a very cold situation which is not available for common use.
Second, the professor refutes the claim in the reading that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solve pollution problems. She points out that producing hydrogen can cause more pollution, because people must get energy to create it. However, the main source energy is from burning coal and oil which makes the pollution problems more serious.
Finally, although the passage suggests that fuel-cell engines can be economically competitive, the professor disagrees with this idea. She indicates that such an advantage is undermined by the fact that fuel-cell engines are extremely expensive to manufacture because they require the addition of platinum which is very rare and expensive material. Also, she says all the efforts to replace the platinum have been unsuccessful so far.作者: shisuwang 时间: 2012-10-7 21:42 9.29综合修改
The professor is skeptical about the idea in the reading passages（最好加上听力中的主要观点 比如， arguing that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not the solution to the replacement of internal-combustion engine）. She lists three main ideas.
First of all, in the reading, it says(is said应该更好) that petroleum is a finite resource and will be used out. But for the hydrogen, it cannot easily be depleted. On the contrary, the professor argues that using hydrogen is not a practical solution. For the hydrogen is not easily available, because it is very difficult to produce and store hydrogen. In addition, it needs a very cold situation which is not available for common use.
Second, the professor refutes the claim in the reading that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solve pollution problems. She points out that producing hydrogen can cause more pollution, because people must get （consume应该更好） energy to create it. However, （此句是原因，逻辑词应为顺承。）the main source energy is from burning coal and oil which makes the pollution problems more serious. (可以改为： In other words, producing hydrogen by burning huge amount of coal and oil will make the pollution problems even worse.)
Finally, although（我觉得although用来连接听力跟阅读里的观点有些怪怪的， contradicting会更好些吧。）the passage suggests that fuel-cell engines can be economically competitive, the professor disagrees with this idea. She indicates that such an advantage is undermined by the fact that (我觉得这句relationship写的特别好 ：）)fuel-cell engines are extremely expensive to manufacture because they require the addition of platinum which is very rare and expensive material. Also, she says all the efforts to replace the platinum have been unsuccessful so far.
