ChaseDream
标题: huluhulufei 的作业贴~ [打印本页]
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-12 21:26
标题: huluhulufei 的作业贴~
7. 12 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that colleges or universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working
University is no longer a fresh word for students nowadays, especially for those who have dreams of pursuing higher education. However, when connected with working in the future, the concept of education seems to be colored with the feeling of ‘tool’, which is harnessed to earn money. In such circumstance, I totally disagree with the statement that colleges should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, the majors that students are interested in have already provided them with knowledge and skills that prepared for future working, and the more courses that university offers will certainly not be attractive. For instance, a student whose major is mathematics is busy enough studying his own lectures, which will fulfill his curiosity for knowledge. Working in the future for him is doing research, deploring further in this area. Therefore, there is no need for them to have extra courses specifically for future working. What’s more, even though there are students with various interests, they are offered proficiently with numerous courses in other fields that can be chosen from. Obviously, the extra courses will be nothing but a waste of university’s money.
In addition, the more courses may bring great pressure to students, which will have negative effects on their career in the future. The heavy burden that university students take now is obviously not a secret anymore. They have to finish a great number of papers, assignments, prepare for class discussions and exams to keep up with the professors’ steps. Therefore, if more courses are placed on their shoulders, terrible result may come out. Students will have a great tendency to mislead the college purpose, abhor the new courses strongly, and finally lose their mere interest and favor for it. The whole plan that university makes will backfire absolutely.
I concede that the argument is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. After all, more courses certainly expand students’ view and broad their horizon. The extra choices might evoke the students’ truly inner interests, which will adjust their life goals and build up a wonderful life career. However, such students are limited in campus, and the opportunities that university provides can be substituted by other already existed forms, where students could feel free to solve their major problems. Hence, the idea that having more courses for future work is needless.
In sum, I disagree with the statement that students should accept more courses preparing for future work, because of the already-existing complete education regulation, the extra heavy burden that it may bring about, and the huge amount of money and education sources it may waste.
作者: lcaecar 时间: 2012-7-13 15:44
红色 修改
蓝色 建议
黄色 好句
University is no longer a fresh word for students nowadays, especially for those who have dreams of pursuing higher education.开头这句话怎么读起来那么奇怪呢？读不懂 However, when connected with working in the future, the concept of education seems to be colored with the feeling of ‘tool’, which is harnessed to earn money. In such circumstance, I totally disagree with the statement that colleges should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, the majors that students are interested in have already provided them with knowledge and skills that prepared for future working, and the more courses that university offers will certainly not be attractive. For instance, a student whose major is mathematics is busy enough studying his own lectures, which will fulfill his curiosity for knowledge. Working in the future for him is doing research, deploring further in this area这句话表述简练一些，很难读懂. Therefore, there is no need for them to have extra courses specifically for future working. What’s more, even though there are students with various interests, they are offered proficiently with numerous courses in other fields that can be chosen from. Obviously, the extra courses will be nothing but a waste of university’s money(budget).
In addition, the more courses may bring great pressure to students, which will have negative effects on their career in the future.(这里因果条件不明确，压力会给职场生活带来消极影响？应改为 on their major courses) The heavy burden that university students take now is obviously not a secret anymore. They have to finish a great number of papers, assignments, prepare for class discussions and exams to keep up with the professors’ steps. Therefore, if more courses are placed on their shoulders, terrible result may come out. Students will have a great tendency to mislead the college purpose, abhor the new courses strongly, and finally lose their mere interest and favor for it. The whole plan that university makes will backfire absolutely.
I concede that the argument is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. After all, more courses certainly expand students’ view and broaden their horizon.(expand view 太中式表达了) The extra choices might evoke the students’ truly inner interests, which will adjust their life goals and build up a wonderful life career. However, such students are limited in campus, and the opportunities that university provides can be substituted by other already existed forms, where students could feel free to solve their major problems. Hence, the idea that having more courses for future work is needless.
In sum, I disagree with(oppose)词语多样化一些 the statement that students should accept more courses preparing for future work, because of the already-existing complete education regulation, the extra heavy burden that it may bring about, and the huge amount of money and education sources it may waste.结尾不错~
文章条理清晰，很熟悉的好处+好处+让步but better的作文结构
LZ用11个定语从句，希望运用diverse的方式表达
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-13 18:42
谢谢！你的建议真好~我以后会语句diverse一些，说实话若非你提醒我真没发现自己如此热衷于定语从句。。。欢迎以后狠拍！！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-13 20:59
综合 TPO 4
The reading passage holds the point that dinosaurs should be endotherms. However, the professor in the lecture claims that the evidence in the reading is untenable. She uses three specific points to support her idea.
Firstly, even though the passage asserts that polar dinosaurs must maintain their body temperature in order to fight against the cold polar climate, the professor points out that the polar climate was much warmer than nowadays. Even during the cold month, the dinosaurs could migrate or hibernate to evade the climate. Obviously, the professor’s statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Secondly, in spite of the statement that dinosaurs evolve legs which locate underneath their bodies, indicating their high energy for running, the professor in the lecture maintains that the position of legs could also be explained as supports for their huge weight, which is advantageous for their evolution. In other words, the legs are prepared for supporting their large size, nothing to do with running.
Thirdly, the reading holds the statement that the Haversian canals found in the fossils of dinosaurs indicate that they’re endotherms, because the canals means growing quickly, which has only been found in endotherms. The professor proves this statement indefensible by the fact that there are also grow rings found in the fossil, which means stop growing in cooling period. Therefore, dinosaurs grow slowly and rapidly by turn. What’s more, only endotherms grow rapidly during cooling period.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-14 21:28
7.14Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that the advices from our grandparents have no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years
People nowadays have a great tendency to overlook the past, and make every effort to strive for higher social standards in this highly competitive society. Even though the world pace is stepping forward, pursing prosperity and success, the inner principle and regulation is unchangeable, all of which can be fully reflected by the old generation. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement that there is no use for grandchildren to take the advices from their grandparents due to changes in the past 50 years.
To begin with, there remains terrible history that young people shouldn’t overlook, the experience of which can be vividly portrayed by our grandparents. No one would forget the world war in the past. The death, poverty, and evil power that pervaded during the dark period in 1910s and 1930s in the world can never be effaced in the past generations. New generations should be told about the terrible scene about the war, in order to evade new world wars in the future. Luckily, the nuclear power was not available during that time. Otherwise, if the world war happened nowadays, the earth would be destroyed totally. Therefore, it’s absolutely meaningful to learn from grandparents.
What’s more, it’s human feeling that is the authentic treasure in this world, which is unchangeable. From grandparents, we’ll learn the true love among people, the way to communicate with others and the family affairs in the past. The strong seed of kind and love will be cultivated in the heart of the new generation, which will surely result in a harmonious society in the future. In addition, by listening to the experiences of the skills dealing with people, young men will evade the same errors that their grandparents had, which in turn benefits themselves.
I concede that highly-developed technology has brought the world into a new era, waiting for the energetic young men to explore deeply. However, the statement unnecessarily asserts that the advices from our grandparents are of ‘no use’. The absolute word is untenable when face the following example. Hardly could anyone forget the Great Depression in the 1927 in the U.S. It was the financial bubble that boomed, leading to thousands of hundreds of unemployment and the homeless. However, it couldn’t have been happened. When compare it with the famous Holland tulip bubble in the 17th century, people will find their surprising similarities. It’s kind of dramatic scarcity that it backslid. If the young had learned the lesson from their predecessor, the eternal prosperity may have been there waiting for them.
In sum, the statement that the advices of grandparents are of no use for grandchildren begs the question, for the sere reason that there’re numerous treasure experiences for both healthy social life and correct world trends from our old generation.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-15 17:35
People nowadays have a great tendency to overlook the past, and make every effort to strive for higher social standards in this highly competitive society. Even though（用although就行吧） the world pace is stepping forward, pursing prosperity and success,这里断下句额 the inner principle and regulation is unchangeable, all of which can be fully reflected by the old generation. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement that there is no use for grandchildren to take the advices from their grandparents due to changes in the past 50 years.
To begin with, there remains terrible history that young people shouldn’t overlook, the experience of（这个的主语是history？）which can be vividly portrayed by our grandparents. No one would forget the world war in the past. The death, poverty, and evil power that pervaded during the dark period in 1910s and 1930s in the world can never be effaced in the past generations’ (memory or brain). New generations should be told about the terrible scene about the war, in order to evade new world wars in the future. Luckily, the nuclear power was not available during that time. Otherwise, if the world war happened nowadays, the earth would be destroyed totally. Therefore, it’s absolutely(避免用绝对词汇) meaningful to learn from grandparents.
What’s more, it’s human feeling that is the authentic treasure in this world, which is unchangeable. From grandparents, we’ll（can） learn the true love among people, the way to communicate with others and the family affairs in the past. The strong seed of kind and love will be cultivated in the heart of the new generation, which will surely result in a harmonious society in the future. In addition, by listening to the experiences of the skills（这个可以去掉） dealing with people, young men will evade the same errors that their grandparents had, which in turn benefits themselves.
I concede that highly-developed technology has brought the world into a new era, waiting for the energetic young men to explore deeply. However, the statement unnecessarily asserts that the advices from our grandparents are of ‘no use’. The absolute word is untenable when face the following example. Hardly could anyone forget the Great Depression in the 1927 in the U.S. It was the financial bubble that boomed, leading to thousands of hundreds of unemployment and thehomeless. However, it couldn’t have been happened（这个貌似没写完？）. When comparing it with the famous Holland tulip bubble in the 17th century, people will find their surprising similarities. It’s kind of dramatic scarcity that it backslid. If the young had learned the lesson from their predecessor, the eternal prosperity may have been there waiting for them.
In sum, the statement that the advices of grandparents are of no use for grandchildren begs the question, for the sere reason that there’re numerous treasure experiences for both healthy social life and correct world trends from our old generation.
用词丰富，整体结构很好。小地方注意就好了。看是G的作文也在同步进行么，只是这个和issue是不同的额。
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-15 20:37
谢谢！我会注意！ 托福作文题目跟Issue 大同小异， 两个作文我确实同时在准备，Kch好眼力~所以纹路上难免有互相干扰的地方。。。。托福写作就像唠家常，Issue 论述的意味更明显一些。 谢谢你的建议！！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-15 22:01
7.15 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that the most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.
Though more and more people are confident about the progressing society, asserting that there will hardly be unsolved problems left in the future, I consider such statement untenable. Because of the inner regulations in various societies and different cultures in the world, there will surely be conflicts among nations and societies. The specific points and explanations are as follows.
To begin with, it is humans that bring social problems, which cannot be eradicated unless human disappear totally. No one could deny their excitement when they listen to their president’s speech, who guarantees less unemployment and more opportunities for the young. However, there have been more than 30 presidents in the American history, but does the citizens, no matter he’s old or young, see the disappearance of unemployment? The answer is absolutely no. It’s because of the social regulation, the laws, and the government rules that twists together to contribute it. Therefore, as long as humans exist, the social problem like unemployment will never be solved exactly.
In addition, even though our society is stepping forward with the developing technologies or better law drafts or even more completed regulations, the inner darkness of humanity can never be moved away. Proud, selfish, greed and lazy are the reflection of human weakness, all of which contribute to serious problems such as AIDS spread, crime, discrimination and children addicted in drugs. Unluckily, the weakness cannot be solved by lawyers, diplomats, economists and policies. As you can see, it’s due to the various humanities that make this colorful world. And also, it’s due to the various humanities that the world is filled with danger, excitement and lure.
Instead of offering the world a more glorious and harmonious future, the high-tech, that most people suppose as the key to the bright, may just in turn be the killer. For example, many people may praise physical scientists finding nuclear power source as the neat and strong source to create light. However, the atom bomb that exploded in the World War had made thousands of hundreds of people died in Japan. And the explosion of nuclear power station last year in Japan, has made it more clear to see the dangers of nuclear power. What’s more, the wonderful power of chemistry as led people find out numerous compounds for both eating and clothing. While, when we face the terrible health problems that chemistry contribute, who can say it’s absolutely of benefits without any harm?
In sum, the statement that the most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime begs the question, because we’ll never eradicate the weakness of humanity, make the best regulations that suit for all nations, and evade the harm from technologies.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-16 20:43
7.16 综合 TPO 6
The reading passage holds the point that the original printed encyclopedia is better than the communal encyclopedia online now. However, the professor in the listening part argues that the evidence the reading provides are untenable. He gives three specific reasons below.
Firstly, even though the reading asserts that the communal encyclopedia online is lack of academic credentials, the professor claims that it’s of high efficiency to evade the errors. Because the online encyclopedia gives people opportunities to update their articles, the errors will be corrected in time. To the contrary, the errors in the printed encyclopedia have to last long time due to lack of chances for correcting. What’s more, there’s no absolute accurate printed encyclopedia, no matter it’s online or not.
Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the communal encyclopedia is vulnerable to hackers, the professor insists that there remain two solutions for this circumstance. One solution is that we can put the articles that no one would dispute unchangeable eternally to make it reliable. The other solution is that the editors can eliminate the articles words that may be malicious and monitor the articles. Obviously, by the two solutions, the statement that the reading asserts is indefensible.
Thirdly, despite the reading claims that the communal encyclopedia lacks the idea of what’s important or unimportant, some articles are of little significance. However, the professor proves it untenable by the fact that it’s just because of the diversity of articles contexts that bring its strong advantage. In addition, it’s the limited space that the editors of printed encyclopedia had to find out which part is important and which part is not. However, the space of the communal encyclopedia is of no limitation, and the various articles just reflect different interests. Obviously, the professor’s statement proves its counterpart in the passage inconvincible.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-16 21:37
7.16 综合 TPO 7 上一篇写完了才发现写错了TPO。。。。悲剧 ，赶紧补了一篇
The reading passage holds the point that there’s no need for American wood company to adopt ecocertification. However, the professor in the lecture proves the evidence untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
Firstly, even though the reading asserts that consumers in the U.S. will not trust the ads and ignore them as usual, the professor claims in the lecture that consumers will make clear identification about whether the ads is about the company’s own products or about the claims from independent agencies. Actually, the customers have great interests supporting the wood ecologically certified for its international reputation. Obviously, the professor’s statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Secondly, in spite of the statement in the passage that the higher wood prices that cost of certification bring will lead to the potential consumers losing, the professor insists that price only affects the consumers’ decisions when it’s much higher or lower than the other one. Actually the higher-quality wood’s price is within 5 percent higher than the original one, which will not affect the consumers’ decisions. What’s more, the American are convinced of the value of environment more than before.
Thirdly, the author of the reading passage claims that the certification of the wood only makes sense when it’s for abroad sailing. However the American inland is the wood company’s main market. The professor proves this statement indefensible by the fact that in the competitive market, the wood with certification will gradually capture a large amount of potential customers. If the native wood company doesn’t develop ecocertified products, the foreign companies with environmentally products will soon dominate the whole market.
作者: chenglu9066 时间: 2012-7-16 21:43
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
Though more and more people are confident about the progressing society, asserting that there will hardly be unsolved problems left in the future, I consider such statement untenable. Because of the inner regulations in various societies and different cultures in the world, there will surely be conflicts among nations and societies. The specific points and explanations are as follows.
To begin with, it is humans that bring social problems, which cannot be eradicated unless human disappear totally. No one could deny their excitement when they listen to their president’s speech, who guarantees less unemployment and more opportunities for the young. However, there have been more than 30 presidents in the American history, but does the citizens, no matter he’s old or young, see the disappearance of unemployment? The answer is absolutely no. It’s because of the social regulation, the laws, and the government rules that twists together to contribute it. Therefore, as long as humans exist, the social problem like unemployment will never be solved exactly.
In addition, even though our society is stepping forward with the developing technologies or better law drafts or even more completed regulations（一个句子里应只有一个or）, the inner darkness of humanity can never be moved away. Proud, selfish, greed and lazy (主语应为名词，lazy selfish proud为形容词哦~)are the reflection of human weakness, all of which contribute to serious problems such as AIDS spread, crime, discrimination and children addicted in drugs. Unluckily, the weakness cannot be solved by lawyers, diplomats, economists and policies. As you can see, it’s due to the various humanities that make this colorful world. And also, it’s due to the various humanities that the world is filled with danger, excitement and lure.
Instead of offering the world a more glorious and harmonious future, the high-tech, that most people suppose as the key to the bright, may just in turn be the killer. For example, many people may praise physical scientists finding nuclear power source as the neat and strong source to create light（praise for doing sth）. However, the atom bomb that exploded in the World War had made thousands of hundreds of people died in Japan. And the explosion of nuclear power station last year in Japan, has made it more clear to see the dangers of nuclear power. What’s more, the wonderful power of chemistry as led people find out numerous compounds for both eating and clothing. While, when we face the terrible health problems that chemistry contribute, who can say it’s absolutely of benefits without any harm?
In sum, the statement that the most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime begs the question, because we’ll never eradicate the weakness of humanity, make the best regulations that suit for all nations, and evade the harm from technologies.
整体感觉，流畅
建议：句式多变些,有些句子需要再提炼，不然读起来会有些拗口，冗繁哦
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-17 21:42
7.17 综合， TPO 8
The reading passage holds the point that the memoir that Chevalier wrote is not accurate. However, the professor in the lecture claims in the contrary that the evidence in the reading material is untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
Firstly, even though the reading asserts that if Chevalier was indeed wealthy in Switzerland, he would not have to borrow considerable sums of money, the professor insists that the loan itself didn't absolutely mean poor. Because Chevalier mainly used money for gambling and parties, and he needed time to change his assets into crash, he had to borrow some from merchant.
Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the records of the conversation that Chevalier had with Voltaire could not be accurate because it was written many years after the conversation occurred, the professor asserts it's untenable. Because Chevalier states in the memoir that he took notes each time he had night conversation with Voltaire. What’s more, witness later who lived with Chevalier confirmed that he always consulted note and journals to write down the memoir.
Thirdly, the author of reading maintains that Chevalier escaped prison in Venice because his friends bribed the jailers, instead of making a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. In the contrary, the professor points out that there were people with more politically well-connected friends in the prison than Chevalier, who however had not been freed. What's more, due to the documents of Venice government, just days after Chevalier escaped, the old ceiling had been repaired, which demonstrates that he escaped the prison just like what he had written in the memoir.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-17 21:58
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
The reading passage holds the point that there’s no need for American wood company to adopt ecocertification. However, the professor in the lecture proves the evidence （is or to be ）untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
Firstly, even though the reading asserts that consumers in the U.S. will not trust the ads and ignore them as usual, the professor claims in the lecture that consumers will make clear identification about whether the ads is（are）about the company’s own products or about the claims from independent agencies. Actually, the customers have great interests supporting the wood ecologically certified for its international reputation. Obviously, the professor’s statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Secondly, in spite of the statement in the passage that the higher wood prices that（because of the added）cost of certification bring will lead to the potential consumers losing（losing of consumers能这样用么，我不是很清楚额）, the professor insists that price only affects the consumers’ decisions when it’s much higher or lower than the other one. Actually the higher-quality wood’s price is within 5 percent higher than the original one, which will not affect the consumers’ decisions. What’s more, the Americans are convinced of the value of environment more than before.
Thirdly, the author of the reading passage claims that the certification of the wood only makes sense when it’s for abroad sailing. However, the American inland is the wood company’s main market. The professor proves this statement indefensible by the fact that in the competitive market, the wood with certification will gradually capture a large amount of potential customers. If the native wood company doesn’t develop ecocertified products, the foreign companies with environmentally products will soon dominate the whole market.
听力要点都很全额。不错
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-18 11:40
7.17 综合， TPO 8
The reading passage holds the point that the memoir that Chevalier wrote is not accurate. However, the professor in the lecture claims in the contrary that the evidence in the reading material is untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
Firstly, even though the reading asserts that if Chevalier was indeed wealthy in Switzerland, he would not have to borrow considerable sums of money, the professor insists that the loan itself didn't absolutely mean poor. Because Chevalier mainly used money for gambling and parties, and he needed time to change his assets into crash, he had to borrow some from merchant.
Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the records of the conversation that Chevalier had with Voltaire could not be accurate because it was written many years after the conversation occurred, the professor asserts it's untenable. Because Chevalier states in the memoir that he took notes each time he had night conversation with Voltaire. What’s more, witness later who lived with Chevalier confirmed that he always consulted note and journals to write down the memoir.
Thirdly, the author of reading maintains that Chevalier escaped prison in Venice because his friends bribed the jailers, instead of making a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. In the contrary, the professor points out that there were people with more politically well-connected friends in the prison than Chevalier, who however had not been freed. What's more, due to the documents of Venice government, just days after Chevalier escaped, the old ceiling had been repaired, which demonstrates that he escaped the prison just like what he had written in the memoir.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-18 21:42
7.18Do you agree or disagree, because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past
With the development of society, people nowadays find it hard to keep up with the high-pace of the world. However, the modern technologies that updates timely have provided us with various ways to satisfy our needs, including more convenient ways to contact with others and enjoy amusements. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement that people now are less happy than people in the past. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, we have more convenient ways to make contact with others today than before. I have always been told about the story from my grandmother that how much she missed my mom when my mother had to study away from home. The only way they could use was letter, by which they conveyed missing feelings. However, nowadays I can make phone call everyday with my mom, even though I’m quite far away from my hometown. Similarly, when I and my classmates graduated from high school, we had never been sad about saying goodbye to each other, because we could always make contacts wherever and whenever we want to. In this way, people nowadays can be happier than before because of the convenience of contact with friends and family members.
In addition, the development of internet and various information platforms provide more sources than before for us to make use of, which is beneficial both to life and career. For instance, when I was confused or had problems about the assignment that the professor requested, I would count on the internet for help. In this way, the information that the internet contains can remind me of some important aspects of the academic work. Also, there was a time that my throat was aching, and I searched the internet to find out the measure to cure it. Therefore, the guides of modern internet satisfy both our life and career needs.
What’s more, even though the world is changing quickly now, there’s something important that didn’t change. There are many precious feeling that human contain, and the feelings hadn’t changed for hundreds of years. The true love between couples, the trusts between friends, and the care from parents are all the true feelings that both people now and in the past contain. With such feelings we can feel happiness in spite of the quickly developing world.
In sum, the statement that people now are less happy and less satisfied than before begs the question, because of the more convenient massage convey, various sources platforms for life and career, and the unchangeable human true feelings.
作者: qianjun06 时间: 2012-7-19 06:48
7.17 综合， TPO 8
The reading passage holds the point that the memoir that Chevalier wrote is not accurate. However, the professor in the lecture claims in the contrary that the evidence in the reading material is untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
Firstly, even though the reading asserts that if Chevalier was indeed wealthy in Switzerland, he would not have to borrow considerable sums of money, the professor insists that the loan itself didn't absolutely mean poor. Because Chevalier mainly used money for gambling and parties, and he needed time to change his assets into crash, he had to borrow some from merchant.
Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the records of the conversation that Chevalier had with Voltaire could not be accurate because it was written many years after the conversation occurred, the professor asserts it's untenable. Because Chevalier states in the memoir that he took notes each time he had night conversation with Voltaire. What’s more, witness later who lived with Chevalier confirmed that he always consulted note and journals to write down the memoir.
Thirdly, the author of reading maintains that Chevalier escaped from prison in Venice because his friends bribed the jailers, instead of making a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. In the contrary, the professor points out that there were people with more politically well-connected friends in the prison than Chevalier, who however had not been freed.So,it's difficult for him to escape from it What's more, due to the documents of Venice government, just days after Chevalier escaped, the old ceiling had been repaired, which demonstrates that he escaped from the prison just like what he had written in the memoir.
听的蛮全，每段最后如果能加个总结更加好
作者: hui刀 时间: 2012-7-19 09:54
7.18 独立
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩红色为错误
With thedevelopment of society, people nowadays find it hard to keep up with thehigh-pace of the world. However, the modern technologiesthat updates(主语是technologies，主谓一致应为update) timely have provided us with various ways tosatisfy our needs, including(改成and,并列关系更好吧) more convenient ways to contact with othersand enjoy amusements. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement thatpeople now are less happy than people in the past. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, we have more convenient ways to make contactwith others today than before. I have always been told about the story from mygrandmother that how much she missed my mom when my mother had to study awayfrom home. The only way they could use was letter, by which they conveyedmissing feelings. However, nowadays I can make (固定搭配make a phone call,因此 +a) phone call everyday with my mom, even thoughI’m quite far away from my hometown. Similarly, when I and my classmatesgraduated from high school, we had never been sad about saying（固定搭配，be sad to do） goodbyeto each other, because we could always make contacts wherever and whenever wewant to. In this way, people nowadays can be happier than before because of theconvenience of contact with friends and family members.
In addition, the developmentof internet and various information platforms provide more sources than beforefor us to make use of（这里的比较有问题吧，development与before比较？）,which(which 指代不清)is beneficial both to life and career. Forinstance, when I was confused or had problems about the assignment that theprofessor requested, I would count on the internet for help. In this way, theinformation that the internet contains can（could，前面一直都是was, would）remind me of some important aspects of the academic work. Also, there was atime that my throat was aching, and I searched the internet to find out themeasure to cure it. Therefore, the guides of modern internet satisfy both ourlife and career needs.
What’s more, even though the world is changing quickly now,there’s something important that didn’t change. There are many precious feeling(主谓一致feelings) that human contain, and The(改成These比较好)feelings hadn’t changed for hundreds of years. The true love between couples, the trusts betweenfriends, and the care from parents are all the true feelings that both peoplenow and in the past contain. (主语直接为True love, trusts, care更好)Withsuch feelings we can feel happiness in spite of the quickly developing world.
In sum, the statement that people now are less happy and lesssatisfied than before begs the question, because of the more convenient massageconvey, various sources platforms for life and career, and the unchangeable human true (true humanunchangeable) feelings.
楼主的文章总体感觉很流畅，即使是长句子也是结构完整但须注意主谓一致。
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-19 14:31
谢谢刀刀的详细批改！ 若非刀刀提醒，我一直没有发现自己主谓不一致的问题。 对下面的这个句子我有一些自己的看法：
In addition, the development of internet and various information platforms provide more sources than before for us to make use of（这里的比较有问题吧，development与before比较？）,which(which 指代不清) is beneficial both to life and career
１ 这个than 是说现在的 sources 比过去的多。
２ Which 指代的前边这句话，也就是 provide more sources 这件事～
作者: hui刀 时间: 2012-7-19 16:52
因为我之前备考G，所以对“比较、对比”比较敏感，对比结构应该一致！（当然也有省略的情况）internet and various information platforms provide more sources than information platforms did for us to make use of这样才结构一致，但可能改变了楼主本意！至于which指代用法，你可以看一看这个帖子：http://forum.chasedream.com/GMAT_SC/thread-724284-1-5.html 主要在3楼另外请fei记得帮我改7月18日的独立写作~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-21 20:15
谢谢你的建议和信息！！ feifei 感激不尽~！！ 撒花~撒花~~~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-21 20:15
7.21综合 TPO 12
The reading passage holds the point that a portrait of a teenage girl owned by a member of the Austen family should be the portrait of Austen. However, the professor in the lecture claims that the evidences that reading provides are unconvincing. He uses three points to support his idea.
First, the reading argues that in 1882, Austen's family had given permission to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letters, which proves that the portrait should be Austen's because the family had already recognized it as a portrait of her. On the contrary, the professor recommends that it had been 70 after Austen's death. The living family members in 1882 hadn't ever seen Austen. Therefore, they didn't have the right to assert that the portrait was Austen's or not.
Second, the reading insists that the portrait should be Austen's because it resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch, which has been known as the depiction of Austen. However, the professor points out that it could be the relative of Austen. The extended family was so large that the portrait could be her cousins or cousins' children’s. And many experts have made an agreement that it is one of Austen's niece's.
Third, the professor points out that the time that the painting was made wasn't during Austen's teenage, as the passage assets, but during the time later. He makes this point convincible by the fact that the painting's canvas was not sold in London when Austen was a teenage girl, because it was demonstrated that it was sold by a man when Austen had already been 27 years old in London. Therefore, the portrait couldn't be Austen's.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-21 20:56
7.21 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In a team, those who do not accept other’s criticism cannot succeed. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Nowadays, people have to make great effort to strive in this highly-competitive society. No one would have success without other’s help and corporation. Team work for modern people, especially for white collars in office, is extremely important. Also, without the criticism from other team members, no one would make progress and benefit the whole team. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement that those who don’t accept other’s criticism in a team can succeed. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, do not accept others’ criticism means no agreement for a team decision, and it strongly harms the whole team. For instance, one of my University Student Club--- French Learning with Happiness, always face the problem of wasting large amount of time making an agreement. Both the club leader and the team members have the habit of ignoring other’s opinions. Thus, when they have to decide the next club theme along with the activity place and time, they will have meetings times and times again. Unfortunately but rationally, the club will be closed soon by the school. Obviously, the acceptation of other’s opinion is of great importance to the whole team development.
In addition, disregarding other’s opinions also means no improvement opportunities for an individual. It’s well known that no one in this world is absolutely consummate, without any personality flaws. And always, we can’t see our shortcomings clearly. The only way for us to improve our abilities in various areas is to listen to the recommendations from others. Therefore, if a person is too proud, he won’t have the chance to know himself, to correct his shortcomings, thus make progress. What’s more, no one would like to make friends with proud people. In this way, they’ll indulge in a negative recycle, which means the degeneration.
I concede that it’s of importance to hold the point of one’s own, to be steady to the final team purpose. However, if the original direction is totally the opposite, even the efforts the whole team makes is dramatically hard, the result will be meaningless. It’s of great significance for team members to make criticism for others, especially for the team leaders, to hold the whole team directions and make effective decisions. It is with frequent adjustment that a ship can arrive the final destination effectively.
In sum, the statement that those who can’t accept other’s criticism cannot succeed is absolutely correct. Because they’ll waste large amount of time, decrease the quality of team decision, and harm the team profit if they cannot accept other’s criticism.
作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-22 15:48
The reading passage holds the point that a portrait of ateenage girl owned by a member of the Austen family should be the portrait ofAusten. However, the professor in the lecture claims that the evidences thatreading provides are unconvincing. He uses three points to support his idea.
First, the reading argues that in 1882, Austen's familyhad given permission to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition ofher letters, which proves that the portrait should be Austen's because thefamily had already recognized it as a portrait of her. On the contrary, theprofessor recommends that it had been 70 years afterAusten's death. The living family members in 1882 had n't ever never seen Austen. Therefore, they didn't have theright to assert that the portrait was Austen's or not.
Second, the reading insists that the portrait should beAusten's because it resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch, which has beenknown as the depiction of Austen. However, the professor points out that itcould be the relative of Austen. The extended family was so large that theportrait could be her cousins or cousins' children’s. And many experts havemade an agreement that it is one of Austen's niece's.
Third, the professor points out that the time that the painting was madewasn't during Austen's teenage, as the passage assets, but during the timelater. He makes this point convincible by the fact that the painting's canvaswas not sold in London when Austen was a teenage girl, because it wasdemonstrated that it was sold by a man when Austen had already been 27years old in London. Therefore, the portrait couldn't be Austen's.
我觉得缺少结尾段。
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies theweaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the centralargument in the reading of the portrait is Austen herself is incorrect.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-22 17:12
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
Nowadays, people have to make great effort to strive in this highly-competitive society. No one would have success without other’s help and corporation. Team work for modern people, especially for white collars in office, is extremely important. Also, without the criticism from other team members, no one would make progress and benefit the whole team. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement that those who don’t accept other’s criticism in a team can succeed. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, do not accept others’ criticism（这样可以做主语么，我不是很清楚） means no agreement for a team decision, and it strongly harms the whole team. For instance, one of my University Student Club--- French Learning with Happiness, always face the problem of wasting large amount of time making an agreement. Both the club leader and the team members have the habit of ignoring other’s opinions. Thus, when they have to decide the next club theme along with the activity’s place and time, they will have meetings times and times again. Unfortunately but rationally, the club will be closed soon by the school. Obviously, the acceptation of other’s opinion is of great importance to the whole team development.
In addition, disregarding other’s opinions also means no improvement opportunities for an individual. It’s well known that no one in this world is absolutely consummate, without any personality flaws. And always, we can’t see our shortcomings clearly. The only way for us to improve our abilities in various areas is to listen to the recommendations from others. Therefore, if a person is too proud, he won’t have the chance to know himself, to correct his shortcomings, thus (lose the opportunities to)make progress. What’s more, no one would like to make friends with proud people. In this way, they’ll indulge in a negative recycle, which means the degeneration.
I concede that it’s of importance to hold the point of one’s own, to be steady to the final team purpose. However, if the original direction is totally the opposite, even the efforts the whole team makes is dramatically hard, the result will be meaningless. It’s of great significance for team members to make criticism for others, especially for the team leaders, to hold the whole team directions and make effective decisions. It is with frequent adjustment that a ship can arrive the final destination effectively.
In sum, the statement that those who can’t accept other’s criticism cannot succeed is absolutely(这个是太绝对化的词额) correct. Because they’ll waste large amount of time, decrease the quality of team decision, and harm the team profit(这个词是指团队利益么the interests of the team or group) if they cannot accept other’s criticism.
整体没有错误词，这个太好了。就是写有些词的时候没有直接的意思，可以用句子替代什么的，还可以增加字数啊。
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-22 18:55
谢谢kch 的批改！！ feifei会注意滴~ 另外，那个： do ont accept other's criticism 我应该改为： not accepting other's criticism. 这样就不会歧义了~ 现在就去改你的喽~看看这次有没有错别字嗫~哈~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-22 20:50
7.22综合 TPO 13
The reading passage holds the point that it's an unfortunate development that rare and important fossils are being sold to private ownership instead to museums. However, the professor in the lecture claims that the evident that the reading provides are too exaggerated and the advantages of doing so outweigh its disadvantages. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, the reading asserts that selling fossils to private ownership will prevent the public to see the collections. On the contrary, the professor points out that it's just because of the exposure of fossil that the public can have a look at the fossils and purchase them. Even the low-level public institutions can purchase them to exhibit for the public, so the public has more opportunities to have a look at the fossils. Thus the professor's statement disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Second, even though the reading insists that scientists will lose great opportunities to find discoveries about extinct life forms because the fossils will be sold to the private ownership, the professor points out the statement unconvincing. Without the identification from scientists, who can make the value of fossils? By making detail examinations and tests, scientists will not miss out potential crucial discoveries. Therefore, the reading passage's statement is untenable.
Third, the reading claims that the commercial fossil collectors will destroy valuable scientific evidence associated with the fossils they unearth, and the professor concedes it's true. However, if scientists are those who have the absolute right to collect fossils, much more fossils will surely be undiscovered for a dramatic long time. Therefore, it's commercial fossil collectors that make great contribution to the large amount of fossil findings. Their advantages outweigh the disadvantages. So it's of significance for commercial fossil collectors to dig fossils. In this way, the professor proves the reading's assertion indefensible.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-22 21:36
7月22日Some people believe that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even they are not realistic; others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. What’s your opinion and why? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Nowadays, people have to make great efforts to strive in this highly competitive society. It’s the dreams and goals that direct them. People without dreams are people without souls. Therefore, even though the dreams may seem unrealistic, it’s of great significance for people to pursue them. In this way, I agree with the statement that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals though they are not realistic. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, only with dreams and goals can a person succeed finally. No one is born having everything and there’s nothing that is impossible. It is dreams that make one’s life colorful, and it’s also dreams that give people hope to overcome the difficulties in life. Without dreams, the president Lincoln would not have been one of the greatest presidents in American history. What’s more, he had been told of hundreds of times that it was impossible and unrealistic to be the president. However, the most unrealistic thing happened, because his persistence to dreams.
In addition, the ambitious dreams and goals will make one outstanding, therefore attracting huge amount of people to help him achieve the final goal. Ambitious people always have a strong positive influence on others. At the same time they give other’s hope, confidence and ambitions as well. In turn, the followers will surely make collective effort to help the person reach the common goal. Take president Obama for example. He was such a man with great ambitions, and makes his followers help him to compete for the president. What’s more, the seemingly unrealistic dream of Obama finally came true. This obviously supports my statement.
I concede that if people only have the dreams and goals without specific abilities and action, they’ll of course fail. However, ambitious people always have a clear understanding of their weakness and superiorities. Therefore, they’ll have great opportunities to correct their mistakes and to be more and more outstanding. What’s more, if people always feel the dreams unrealistic, how can they make great progress to reach a higher goal? If they’re addicted to the happiness and comfortable environment at present, how can they break through difficulties to reach a higher social status in the future? In this way, it’s the ambitious goals and dreams that evoke the inner hope of a person, directing them to success.
In sum, the statement that people should follow ambitious goals and dreams though they are unrealistic is correct, because the goals will provoke their potentials, lead them to the right directions and force them to correct their mistakes.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-22 23:23
feifei你太好了，你把T和G一起准备额。 真不错。 这样可以一举两得。 mumu， feifei，一起进步哈。
作者: lcaecar 时间: 2012-7-23 08:34
7月22日Some people believe that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even they are not realistic; others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. What’s your opinion and why? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Nowadays, people have to make great efforts to strive in this highly competitive society. It’s the dreams and goals that direct them. People without dreams are equal to people without souls.(这句话还是很别扭) Therefore, even though the dreams may seem unrealistic, it’s of great significance for people to pursue them.(中式表达) In this way, I agree with the statement that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals though they are not realistic. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, only with dreams and goals can a person succeed finally. No one is born having everything and there’s nothing that is impossible. It is dreams that make one’s life colorful, and it’s also dreams that gives people hope to overcome the difficulties in life. Without dreams, the president Lincoln would not have been be(从句很少用完成时的吧，读起来不通顺，我也不知道具体用哪个时态) one of the greatest presidents in American history. What’s more, he had been told of hundreds of times that it was impossible and unrealistic to be the president. However, the most unrealistic thing happened, because his persistence to dreams. (希望中间有一个过渡句，两句之间有个过度...)
In addition, the ambitious dreams and goals will make one outstanding, therefore attracting huge amount of people to help him achieve the final goal. Those who have Ambitious dreams people always have have a strong positive influence on others people around them. At the same time they give other’s hope, confidence and ambitions as well. In turn, the followers will surely make collective effort to help the person reach the common goal. Take president Obama for example. He was such a man with great ambitions, and makes his followers help him to compete for the president. What’s more, the seemingly unrealistic dream of Obama finally came true. This obviously supports my statement.(例子很好，但是说明不够...)
I concede that if people only have the dreams and goals without specific abilities and action, they’ll of course fail. However, ambitious people always have a clear understanding of their weakness and superiorities. Therefore, they’ll have great opportunities to correct their mistakes and to be more and more outstanding. What’s more, if people always feel the dreams unrealistic, how can they make great progress to reach a higher goal? If they’re addicted to the happiness and comfortable environment at present, how can they break through difficulties to reach a higher social status in the future? In this way, it’s the ambitious goals and dreams that evoke the inner hope of a person, directing them to success.
In sum, I agree with the statement that people should follow ambitious goals and dreams though they are unrealistic is correct, because the goals will provoke their potentials, lead them to the right directions and force them to correct their mistakes.
hulu的思路很好， 事例也很多
但是，第二段开头论点不是很明确，既然点出了没有dream就不会成功，那么应该紧跟着论述no dream 不成功或者 have dream 成功的例子。colorful和overcome difficulties的例子应该在叙述完例子后补充说明，这样才有逻辑性，文章也会更加通顺(我也常犯这样的错误...)
第三段说奥巴马的时候可以说 it is his ambitious dream that makes followers...
让步段挺漂亮，用反问引出了结果~
结尾第一句缺谓语..
一起加油吧~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-23 20:32
1 Without dreams, the president Lincoln would not have been be(从句很少用完成时的吧，读起来不通顺，我也不知道具体用哪个时态)
这个是虚拟语气，
2 I agree with the statement that people should follow ambitious goals and dreams though they are unrealistic is correct.
楼主修改之前句子是对的。That 后面的部分是同位语。谓语部分在后面的 is correct.
3 People without dreams areequal to people without souls.(这句话还是很别扭)
这个 feifei又想了一下，应该改成： A man without dreams is like a body without soul. 这样就对了~
谢谢你的批改！例子的事情我确实讨论不够深刻~以后注意！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-23 21:11
7月23日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
The education of the next generation is one of the most significant issues of modern society. Parents have found various ways to instigate their children’s interests on academic works. However, confining amusement will hardly make any effect on promoting children’s appetite for knowledge. Obviously, I disagree with the statement that parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV in order to make them do well at school. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, it’s TVs that arouse children’s interests, teach what they can’t learn on campus. For example, children will learn the landscape of a nation though they have never been there; they’ll learn true love, kindness, and friendship by watching a movie on TV and they have the opportunity to conclude the communicating skills by watching chatting programs on TV. Therefore, TV will lay a solid foundation for children to improve themselves. Children will have more experiences deal with both life and academic works at school. So TVs has positive influence on children’s behavior on campus.
In addition, the limitation from parents may have an opposite effect on their purpose. Children are not pets, so they won’t accept parent’s idea unless they recognize its inner value. Teenagers are those who are dramatically fond of amusements. And also, they hate any kind of limitations on them. It’s quite obvious to see the result if their parents push hardly on them to only concentrate on their academic works, without any permission of a break. They’ll have a strong tendency to find other ways to amuse themselves like playing computer games on the internet or listening to the music. Therefore, the limitation will be harmful to the next generation.
I concede that TVs have negative influence on children in some extant. However, no one can find something absolutely positive without any weakness. The advantages of TVs can outweigh their disadvantages. What’s more, children have rights to handle their own affairs. If they’re really interested in the academic, they’ll find time to deplore the academic issues, to communicate with professors. On the contrary, if they’re not, the limitation of watching TVs will have no effect their better performance on campus, because they dislike it. In this way, it’s up to children’s interests that influence their behavior at school. No one can force them.
In sum, I disagree with the statement that parents should limit their children’s hours on watching TVs in order to make them do well at school, because TVs help children develop their own interest, teach them various life and academic skills, and it’s children’s right to handle their own affairs.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-23 21:12
7.23 综合TPO 14
The reading passage holds the point that salvage logging is beneficial both to a damaged forest and to the economy. However, the professor in the lecture argues that salvage logging will bring longer damage to the forest, and the economy will not be promoted longer. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, the reading claims that the dead trees will decompose in the forest, which is harmful to the new trees generations, and salvage logging will provide space for new generation. On the contrary, the professor points out that the natural decomposition of trees will enrich the soil, leaving the soil rich nutrition, which is beneficial to the new trees generation. Therefore, the statement of the professor proves its counterpart untenable.
Second, though the reading asserts that moving away dead trees will prevent insects, such as the spruce bark beetle, which is harmful to new trees, the professor proves this statement indefensible. Not all the insects are harmful to the forest, and the spruce bark beetle has already living in the forest for hundred years. Obviously, it doesn't make any damage. Also, some of the insects and birds that habit on the dead trees contribute to the forest's longer health, and the salvage logging will do more harm to the forest than harmful insects do.
Third, the professor claims that the economic benefit of salvage logging is small and can not last long. He further supports his idea by the fact that the industries need to use expensive implement, such as the helicopters, to move away the dead trees, so the cost is really high. In addition, it's a temporary phenomenon that more workers are needed, and the workers should be more experienced and training than the local villagers are.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-23 21:43
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
The reading passage holds the point that it's an unfortunate development that rare and important fossils are being sold to private ownership instead to museums. However, the professor in the lecture claims that the evident that the reading provides are too exaggerated and the advantages of doing so outweigh its disadvantages. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, the reading asserts that selling fossils to private ownership will prevent the public to see the collections. On the contrary, the professor points out that it's just because of the exposure of fossil that the public can have a look at the fossils and purchase them. Even the low-level public institutions can purchase them to exhibit for the public, so the public has more opportunities to have a look at the fossils. Thus the professor's statement disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Second, even though（这个好像不用连用？） the reading insists that scientists will lose great opportunities to find discoveries about extinct life forms because the fossils will be sold to the private ownership, the professor points out the statement unconvincing. Without the identification from scientists, who can make the value of fossils? （这个后面要不要+argued by the professor）
By making detail examinations and tests, scientists will not miss out potential crucial discoveries. Therefore, the reading passage's statement is untenable.
Third, the reading claims that the commercial fossil collectors will destroy valuable scientific evidence associated with the fossils they unearth, and the professor concedes it's true. However, if scientists are those who have the absolute right to collect fossils, much more fossils will surely be undiscovered for a dramatic long time. Therefore, it's commercial fossil collectors that make great contribution to the large amount of fossil findings. Their advantages outweigh the disadvantages. So it's of significance for commercial fossil collectors to dig fossils. In this way, the professor proves the reading's assertion indefensible.
综合写的太好了，听力要点齐全。
作者: lcaecar 时间: 2012-7-23 21:45
feifei不好意思看错了..没有注意到那个 is correct...
麻烦帮改一下7.22号的作文
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-735715-3-1.html
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-23 21:50
正改着你就来啦！！ 刚刚改好，快去看看吧！！加油！！
作者: hansxiao7 时间: 2012-7-24 08:39
The education of the next generation is one of the most significant issues of modern society. Parents have found various ways to instigate their children’s interests on academic works. However, confining amusement will hardly make any effect on promoting children’s appetite for knowledge. Obviously(感觉这里是前后因果？用hence一类的会好一些）, I disagree with the statement that parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV in order to make them do well at school. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, it’s (不允许用缩略词）TV that arouse children’s interests, teach what they can’t learn on campus. For example, children will learn the landscape of a nation though they have never been there; they’ll learn true love, kindness, and friendship by watching a movie on TV and they have the opportunity to conclude the communicating skills by watching chatting programs on TV. Therefore, TV will lay a solid foundation for children to improve themselves. Children will have more experiences deal with both life and academic works at school. So TVs has positive influence on children’s behavior on campus.(最好在段中加入 只有给他们足够的时间看 才能让他们学到更到 The more time they spend in watching TV, the more knowledge they are able to acquire)
In addition, the limitation from parents may have an opposite effect on their purpose. Children are not pets, so they won’t accept parent’s idea unless they recognize its inner value. Teenagers are those who are dramatically fond of amusements. And also, they hate any kind of limitations on them. It’s quite obvious to see the result if their parents push hardly on them to only concentrate on their academic works, without any permission of a break. They’ll have a strong tendency to find other ways to amuse themselves like playing computer games on the internet or listening to the music. Therefore, the limitation will be harmful to the next generation.
I concede that TVs have negative influence on children in some extant. However, no one can find something absolutely positive without any weakness. The advantages of TVs can outweigh their disadvantages. What’s more, children have rights to handle their own affairs. If they’re really interested in the academic, they’ll find time to deplore the academic issues, to communicate with professors. On the contrary, if they’re(这里也是） not, the limitation of watching TV will have no effect （on) their better performance on campus, because they dislike it(冗了）. In this way, it’s up to children’s interests that influence their behavior at school. No one can force them.
In sum, I disagree with the statement that parents should limit their children’s hours on watching TVs in order to make them do well at school, because TVs help children develop their own interest, teach them various life and academic skills, and it’s children’s right to handle their own affairs.
嗯。。。提两点建议 一个是文章中不够specific，只说理的话不是很充足 比如你可以在第一个论证段加一些电视节目的名称啊 saturday night live 啊 discovery 啊 national geographic啊 第二个就是注意在文章中的切题 思路还不错 继续加油吧少年
作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-24 14:31
.23 综合TPO 14
你好, 改的不好,见谅.
The reading passage holds the point that salvage logging is beneficial bothto both a damaged forest and to the economy. However, the professor in the lecture argues that salvage logging will bring consistent longer damage to the forest, and the economy will not be promoted longersustained in the long term. He presenteduses three specific arguments points to support his idea.
第一段观点清晰，总起句表达可更准确。
First, the reading claims that the dead trees will decompose in the forest, which is harmful for new trees to generate to the new trees generations, as and salvage logging will provide space for the new generation. On the contrary, the professor points out that the natural decomposition of trees will enrich the soil, leaving the soil (with) rich nutrition, which is beneficial to the cultivation of new trees the new tree generation. Therefore, the statement of the professor proves its counterpart untenable.
表达时用词尽量避免重复
Second, though the reading asserts that moving away dead trees will prevent insects, such as the spruce bark beetle, which poses danger to the survival of saplingsis harmful to new trees, which is proved indefensible by the professor prove this statement indefensible. Not all the insects are harmful to the forest and the spruce bark beetle has already lived in the forest for hundreds of years. Obviously, it doesn't casue makeany damage. Moreoveralso, some of the insects and birds that inhabit the dead trees contribute to the forest's sustainable health, and the salvage logging will therefore do more harm to the forest than harmful insects do.
在论述观点时应包含必要的清楚的细节
Third, the professor claims that the economic benefit of salvage logging is small and can not unlikely to last long. He further supports his idea by the fact that the industries need to use expensive implement, such as helicopters, to move away the dead trees, so the cost of which is very high. In addition, it's a temporary phenomenon that morea large amount of workers is needed, who and the workersshould be more experienced and trained than the local villagers are.
口语表达应优化，用词准确
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-24 17:56
谢谢Hence 和 Sherry 的批改！！撒花~~~
独立的那篇文章， 我确实只是说理而少例证。 感觉这个问题很生活化~~~ Hence 关于 TV program 的举例提议很好！ 我都没有想到嗫~~哈哈，刚刚想到Oprah 的talking show~~也可以加进去~ National Geographic 我也很喜欢看呢！ 论述的部分我应该写得更充分一些！ 显得有些敷衍了嗫？哈~该打。。。。。 总之谢谢Hence 的细心批改！
综合的那篇文章，确实是表述不够精细，思考欠佳！ 以后一定注意！！ 谢谢Sherry ~~~撒花~~花~~~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-24 19:20
7.24 综合TPO 15
The reading passage holds the point that cane toad in Australia can be deracinated by three measures. However, the professor in the lecture points out that these three measures will not stop the spread of the cane toad, but cause serious environment problems. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
First, the reading claims that by building a national fence, the spread of the toad will be prevented. On the contrary, the professor argues that fence won't have such effect. The young toads and toad's eggs are always in streams and rivers, which are flowing almost. Therefore, it's reasonable that young toads and eggs will be carried to get through the fence. In this way, the professor's statement disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Second, the professor concedes that volunteers will kill a large amount of cane toads. However, the untrained volunteers have little ability to identify toad and frogs. In other words, they'll have difficulty distinguishing the two species, especially the young ones. Hence, they'll kill many national frogs, which may be endangered. In this way, the professor proves the statement in the reading untenable.
Third, the reading maintains that the disease-causing virus will control the cane toad populations. And the virus will harm the cane toads only. However, the professor points out this statement indefensible by the fact that there are still reptiles and amphibian species infected, though not harmed by the virus, will be transported to other places such as South American. Once these animals arrive on America, the virus they carry will be a great damage to the local cane toad. The virus may cause ecosystem disaster either.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-24 19:22
7月24日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Nowadays people have to make great effort striving in this highly competitive society. It’s common to have conflicts between whatever colleagues and friends. However, is it a kind of reason to be rude to others in order to eliminate the conflicts? I don’t think so. From my perspective of view, I agree with the statement that there’s never a reason to be rude to another person. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, others will look down on us if we are rude, and no matter what the reason is. To be polite, kind, and warm-hearted is a reflection of our well-educated background, social status, and great manners. Have you ever seen a man dressed up, saying bestial words? The answer is obviously not. Rude has a magic power, which makes a strong obstacle between people and their friends. As long as one knows another’s rude personality, he’ll think of him impolite and lack of education. Such feelings will spread among his social network. Unluckily, no one would like to treat him as true friends. In this way, rude is dramatically a terrible tool to make others look down on us.
In addition, it is rude that break relationships. Friends are those who can help us when we are in need of a helping hand. No one can deny that there’re conflicts among even the best friends. Someone chooses rude as their way to solve the conflicts. However, it always results in a terrible circumstance—broken friendship. Rude words will hurt others, making no use to the origin of the problem. What’s more, only parents can forgive you without any reason. Even among best friends, there’re still some rules that can’t offend. Obviously, the relationships between people are complex and convoluted.
What’s more, it is rude that makes things worse especially works. For example, I have ever been a computer company for internship one summer, and was designated as a member of a team, which took the responsibility of developing the appearance of a new computer type. It impressed me strongly because of the meetings that the team held. Each time we started to discuss about a design, those who opposed it said tons of rude words to those who supported it. Therefore, the meeting had to be held over and over again. Unluckily, the final decision hadn’t come out until the deadline. Finally, the group was dismissed by the leader of the company. I learned the lesson from the experience that rude could only make things worse, though the reason was for the things itself.
In sum, I agree with the statement that there’s no reason to be rude to others because it will make others look down on us, break the relationship with friends, and make works worse.
作者: 瓜瓜不瓜 时间: 2012-7-24 22:54
7.24 综合TPO 15
高亮精彩 红色错误 蓝色建议
The reading passage holds the point that cane toad in Australia can be deracinated by three measures. However, the professor in the lecture points out that these three measures will not stop the spread of the cane toad, but cause serious environment problems. He（小错误哦，是she吧？后面同理啦） gives three specific reasons to support his idea.
First, the reading claims that by building a national fence, the spread of the toad will be prevented. On the contrary, the professor argues that fence won't have such（+an建议加） effect. The young toads and toad's eggs are always in streams and rivers, which are flowing almost（always？）. Therefore, it's reasonable that young toads and eggs will be carried to get through the fence. In this way, the professor's statement disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Second, the professor concedes that volunteers will kill a large amount of cane toads. However, the untrained volunteers have little ability to identify toad and frogs. In other words, they'll have difficulty（+in） distinguishing the two species, especially the young ones. Hence, they'll kill many national frogs, which may be endangered. In this way, the professor proves the statement in the reading untenable.
Third, the reading maintains that the disease-causing virus will control the cane toad populations. And the virus will harm the cane toads only. However, the professor points out this statement indefensible by the fact that there are still reptiles and amphibian species infected, though not harmed by the virus, will be transported to other places such as South American. Once these animals arrive on America, the virus they carry will be a great damage to the local cane toad. The virus may cause ecosystem disaster either.
HULU同学好，我是志愿来批你综合的瓜瓜哈哈
我是按照我之前写的综合批的哈，你写的很好，要点细节都全了。
建议加一个结尾哦。
作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-7-25 14:23
7.24独立修改
Nowadays people have to make great effort striving in this highly competitive society. It’s common to have conflicts between whatever colleagues and friends. However, is it a kind of reason to be rude to others in order to eliminate the conflicts? I don’t think so. From my perspective of view, I agree with the statement that there’s never a reason to be rude to another person. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, others will look down on us if we are rude, and no matter what the reason is. To be polite, kind, and warm-hearted is a reflection of our well-educated background, social status, and great manners. Have you ever seen a man dressed up , saying bestial [nasty ]words? The answer is obviously not. Rude 【Rudeness】 has a magic power, which makes a strong obstacle between people and their friends. As long as one knows another’s rude personality, he’ll think of him impolite and lack of education. Such feelings will spread among his social network. Unluckily, no one would like to treat him as true friends. In this way, rude is dramatically a terrible tool to make others look down on us.In addition, it is rude that break relationships. Friends are those who can help us when we are in need of a helping hand. No one can deny that there’re conflicts among even [even among] the best friends. Someone chooses rude [rudeness or being rude] as their way to solve the conflicts. However, it always results in a terrible circumstance—broken friendship. Rude words will hurt others, making no use to the origin of the problem. What’s more, only parents can forgive you without any reason. Even among best friends, there’re still some rules that can’t offend. Obviously, the relationships between people are complex and convoluted.What’s more, it is rude that makes things worse especially works. For example, I have ever been a computer company for internship 【for】one summer, and was designated as a member of a team, which took the responsibility of developing the appearance of a new computer type. It impressed me strongly because of the meetings that the team held. Each time we started to discuss about a design, those who opposed it said tons of rude words to those who supported it. Therefore, the meeting had to be held over and over again. Unluckily, the final decision hadn’t come out until the deadline.
Finally, the group was dismissed by the leader of the company. I learned the lesson from [ learn my lesson from 表示得到了教训。这块表达不太准确] the experience that rude 【rude为adj. 用rudeness】 could only make things worse, though the reason was for the things itself.
In sum, I agree with the statement that there’s no reason to be rude to others because it will make others look down on us, break the relationship with friends, and make works worse.
整体很不错。用词上可以再改进下。
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-25 20:24
谢谢瓜瓜！！！ 关于这句：
The young toads and toad's eggs are always in streams and rivers, which are flowing almost（always？）
后面那个从句写的不对，应该是瓜瓜改过之后的，就是： which are flowing always.
细节的部分，feifei会注意！ 比如： have difficulty in +Ving 之类的~ 撒花~撒花~~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-25 20:30
谢谢 guoyang!!!!! 关于这句：
I learned the lesson from [ learn my lesson from 表示得到了教训。这块表达不太准确] the experience that rude 【rude为adj. 用rudeness】 could only make things worse, though the reason was for the things itself.
确实有问题。。 我现在改一下： The experience I've got from it leads me to believe that rudeness could have profound negative impact on the works, though the reason for it is for the work itself.
这回还成吗？？？咩咩~~~嘻~~
rude 和 rudeness 我也没有注意。。。该打该打。。。咩~
以后feifei 一定注意改正喽！！ 撒花~~撒花~~~咩~~~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-25 20:32
本来feifei 是要去改 24号 瓜瓜的综合的，怎么木要找到？？ 莫非瓜瓜是特意来给feifei 改滴那~~太感谢了！！！热泪盈眶中！！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-25 21:54
7.25 综合 TPO 16
The reading passage holds the point that archaeology in Britain was faced with serious problems and limitations in three major aspects. And the professor in the lecture recommends a specific Guideline Rule, which was passed through by the government, to help solve these problems. The main contexts of the Guideline Rule are as follows.
First, the reading argues that many ancient valuable artifacts were destroyed due to new construction projects. The professor claims that one rule of the Guideline advocates that all cites, before new construction, should be examined by the archeologists to make sure if they are of great archeology interests or value. If the answer is yes, a plan will be made by the government and related institutions to preserve the cite, whether to make new buildings around or suspend the construction until excavate and reserve all the valuable artifacts.
Second, the reading points out that there’s lack of financial support for archaeological research. The problem is wonderfully dealt with by the rule from Guideline that the research and the related works will be paid by the construction company. By such rule, there will be far more opportunities for archaeological research to examine cites clearly and completely. Thus the archaeologists will learn a lot more than what they have learned in the past.
Third, the reading asserts that it’s of a great difficult career as an archaeologist because there were no more positions available for this job. However, the rule from the Guideline maintains that there’s in need of a huge amount of archaeologists to examine cites, make plans, do research, conclude the process and make clear reports and articles. Therefore, the number of archeologists increases dramatically, and the increase trend has reached the highest now.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-25 21:55
7月25日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.
There is a general discussion these days over important problems in today’s world. One of the questions under debate is whether it will be solved in our lifetime. When face with the inner evil human personality, the conflicts between cultures and religions, and the potential problems brought by developed technologies, I would hardly believe that we will solve these tough problems. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, the inner evil character of human will never be deracinated, as long as human exist. No one is born without weakness, which can be understood as the sources of human problems. Though government is forever talking about the beautiful sculptures in central parks, making every effort to make the whole city neat and create artistic atmosphere, the government can never promise residents that there will be no unemployment, no drugs, no crimes and no students who drop out. Obviously, the problems will also never been solved by social researchers, scientists, diplomats and economists. In fact, it is human’s inner character that contributes to these problems. Therefore, such problems will last permanent.
In addition, the conflicts between different cultures and religions are also the problems without proper solutions. Our earth is constructed by five continents, which provide different people with different skin colors, languages, living habits, and social regulations. It’s hard to say which religion outweighs another, because everything would finally owe to one theme—culture. Even though there has been great revolution in American history about the emancipation of black slave, the discrimination still exists now, which cannot be solved by force from any institution or individual. Therefore, the conflict of culture is significantly a tough one, which will not be solved in our life’s time.
What’s more, the high-developed technologies will bring huge amounts of problems in the future. Some people may go into raptures at the discovery of nuclear power, which can be utilized as a replacement of fuel and water to make electricity power. However, when face with hundreds of people dying in the Second World War in Japan, due to atom bomb explosion; we may never forget the crime of nuclear power on earth. Moreover, people may be happy seeing new industry products due to the development of chemistry, which will bring dramatic profits to residents. However, when we see the chemical weapon, which may destroy the whole earth, to be the potential power in the new world war, the conclusion may be safely drawn that new problems will come, which will is out of our expectation and control.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, it may safely draw the conclusion that important problems nowadays may hardly find its solutions in our life time, because of the conflicts between different cultures, inner evil human character, and new problems from technologies.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-26 17:46
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
The reading passage holds the point that archaeology in Britain was faced with serious problems and limitations in three major aspects. And the professor in the lecturerecommends a specific Guideline Rule, which was passed through by the government, to help solve these problems. The main contexts of the Guideline Rule are as follows
First, the reading argues that many ancient valuable artifacts were destroyed due to new construction projects. The professor claims that one rule of the Guideline advocates that all cites, before new construction, should be examined by the archeologists to make sure if they are of great archeology interests or value. If the answer is yes, a plan will be made by the government and related institutions to preserve the cite, whether to make new buildings around or suspend the construction until excavate and reserve all the valuable artifacts.
Second, the reading points out that there’s lack of financial support for archaeological research. The problem is wonderfully dealt with by the rule from Guideline that the research and the related works will be paid by the construction company. By such rule, there will be far more opportunities for archaeological research to examine cites clearly and completely. Thus the archaeologists will learn a lot more than what they have learned in the past.
Third, the reading asserts that it’s of a great difficult career as an archaeologist because there were no more positions available for this job（这个不用了）. However, the rule from the Guideline maintains that there’s in need of a huge amount of archaeologists to examine cites, make plans, do research, conclude the process and make clear reports and articles. Therefore, the number of archeologists increases dramatically, and the increase trend has reached the highest now.
都写的很全额，而且那个句子变换很多啊。嘿嘿
作者: qianjun06 时间: 2012-7-26 19:52
7月25日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.
There is a general discussion these days over important problems in today’s world. One of the questions under debate is whether it will be solved in our lifetime. When face with the inner evil human personality, the conflicts between cultures and religions, and the potential problems brought by developed technologies, I would hardly believe that we will solve these tough problems. The reasons are as follows.
To begin with, the inner evil character of human will never be deracinated, as long as human exist. No one is born without weakness, which can be understood as the sources of human problems. Though government is forever talking about the beautiful sculptures in central parks, making every effort to make the whole city neat and create artistic atmosphere, the government can never promise residents that there will be no unemployment, no drugs, no crimes and no students who drop out. Obviously, the problems will also never been solved by social researchers, scientists, diplomats and economists. In fact, it is human’s inner character that contributes to these problems. Therefore, such problems will last permanent.人性邪恶一面不会被消除？排比用的比较好
In addition, the conflicts between different cultures and religions are also the problems without proper solutions. Our earth is constructed by five continents, which provide different people with different skin colors, languages, living habits, and social regulations. It’s hard to say which religion outweighs another, because everything would finally owe to one theme—culture. Even though there has been great revolution in American history about the emancipation of black slave, the discrimination still exists now, which cannot be solved by force from any institution or individual. Therefore, the conflict of culture is a significantly a tough one, which will not be solved in our life’s time.
What’s more, the high-developed technologies will bring huge amounts of problems in the future. Some people may go into raptures at the discovery of nuclear power, which can be utilized as a replacement of fuel and water to make electricity power. However, when face with hundreds of people dying in the Second World War in Japan, due to atom bomb explosion; we may never forget the crime of nuclear power on earth. Moreover, people may be happy seeing new industry products due to the development of chemistry, which will bring dramatic profits to residents. However, when we see the chemical weapon, which may destroy the whole earth, to beas the potential power in the new world war, the conclusion may be safely drawn that new problems will come, which will is out of our expectation and control.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, it may safely draw the conclusion that important problems nowadays may hardly find its solutions in our life time, because of the conflicts between different cultures, inner evil human character, and new problems from technologies.
写的好流利啊，例子举得很好，用词很到位
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-26 22:31
7.26 TPO 17 综合
The reading passage holds the point that bird population is decreasing due to three main aspects. However, the professor in the lecture claims that the evidence that reading provides is untenable. She uses three specific points to support her idea.
First, the reading claims that birds’ habitats are destroying by the expanding human populations and settlements, therefore, the bird populations will surely decrease. On the contrary, the professor points out that though some bird species are negative influenced by it, there are much more species benefit from it, like pigeons, which take full advantage of streets and houses. In other words, the new constructions provide for much more birds. The statement of the professor proves its counterpart indefensible.
Second, the agriculture is true growing, but it is not for the exploration of new wild land. In fact, there is less land for agriculture nowadays, and there’s a new productive crop. Therefore, there’s no need to destroy the natural habitat. The professor’s statement directly contradicts what the reading says that the growing areas in need for agriculture will surely destroy more birds’ habitat.
Third, the reading maintains that the increasing trend of chemical pesticide use will make bird population decrease because of the infected water and poisoned insects, which will be harmful to the birds. However, the professor argues that people now have been aware of this problem and the two main steps have been adopted to solve it. First, new and less poisoned pesticide has been created. Second, an increasing number of pest-resistant crop is made, which will not be attractive to the insects, and does not need chemical pesticide. What’s more, it does not harm birds.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-26 22:32
7月26日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.
There is a general discussion these days over education. One of the questions under debate is whether people now are easier to become educated than in the past. The information I have collected in the last few years leads me to believe that the statement is of no problem, due to the various ways of knowledge acquiring, the much more positive influence from family, and the strong appetite for knowledge. The specific reasons are as follows.
To begin with, people nowadays are facing an increasing number of ways to obtain education. Hardly could anyone forget the poor condition in the past, which could provide nearly nothing for the requirement for learning. However, the environment has advanced by the development of technologies. The fast and efficient function of the internet has provided people with tons of useful information for us to search. We can never be bored of one particular website, because we can always find something else to choose from. What’s more, the improvement of publication system has improved not only the quantity of books, but also the categories. In this way, people have a much better chance to approach education opportunities, which makes residents more educated than in the past.
In addition, family members now are playing a far more important role in people’s education status. This is really the case due to the new harmonious society and knowledge of the old generations. During the hard time when world war exploded, hardly could anyone find opportunity to survive, let alone learn knowledge. However, time goes by, and the development of new education regulations of new born nation has made it possible for our previous generation to receive education. Now, people nowadays can not only receive the basic principles from their parents, but also learn past experiences from their grandparents. Moreover, the stability of the extent society also contributes greatly to the high education quality nowadays.
What’s more, the highly competitive society has made people nowadays have a strong appetite for knowledge, which is beneficial to both their future job hunting and social network. For example, masters in the past decade would never worry about their jobs because of their high education diplomat. However, the increasing number of masters nowadays makes it really hard for them to find a satisfying working position. In this way, only by competing for more education opportunities to make a person handle social skills, could him survive in this highly competitive society. In this way, there’s no doubt that people now are easier to be educated.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that people now are easier to be educated, because of the various ways they have to approach education opportunities, much more positive influence from family members, and the unsatiated appetite for knowledge in order to survive.
作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-7-27 10:23
不太会修改,请见谅,只是个人意见. 谢谢.
There is a general discussion these days over education. (开头句最好别用there is, 这个是大忌。Education has been intensely discussed those days. ) One of the questions under debate is whether people now are easier to become educated than in the past. The information I have collected in the last few years leads me to believe that the statement is of no problem, due to the various ways of knowledge acquiring; the much more positive influence from family; Moreover,and the strong appetite for knowledge. The specific reasons are as follows.
To begin with, people nowadays are facing an increasing number of ways to obtain education. Hardly could anyone forget the poor condition in the past, which could provide nearly nothing for the requirement for learning. However, the environment has been advanced by the development of technologies. The fast and efficient function of the internet has provided people with tons of useful information for us to search. We can never be bored of one particular website, because we can always find something else to choose from. What’s more, the improvement of publication system has improved not only the quantity of books, but also the categories. In this wayTherefore people have a much better chance to approach education opportunities, which makes residents more educated than in the past.
In addition, family members now are playing a far more important role in people’s education status. This is really the case due to the new harmonious society and knowledge of the old generations. During the hard time when world war exploded, hardly could anyone find opportunity to survive, let alone learn knowledge. However, as time goes by, and the development of new education regulations of new born nation has made it possible for our previous generation to receive education. Nowadays, people nowadays can not only can receive the basic principles from their parents, but also learn past experiences from their grandparents. Moreover, the stability of the extent society also contributes greatly to the high education quality nowadays.
What’s more, the highly competitive society has made people nowadays have a strong appetite for knowledge, which is beneficial to both their future job hunting and social network. For example, masters in the past decade would never worry about their jobs because of their high education diplomat. However, the increasing number of masters nowadays makes it really hard for them to find a satisfying working position. In this way, only by competing for more education opportunities to make a person handle social skills, could him survive in this highly competitive society. In this way, Thus, there’s no doubt that people now are easier to be educated. (你该有多喜欢Nowadays和 In this way？找一些可替换的词呀)
In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that people now are easier to be educated, because of the various ways they have to approach education opportunities, much more positive influence from family members, and the unsatiated appetite for knowledge in order to survive.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-7-27 13:03
feifei 明天就考试去喽~ 感谢这些天在CD的日子！感谢你们！ 考完回来改哦~~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-13 11:37
feifei 归来~！ 10天备战托福，下周六考，写作小分队I‘m back!
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-16 19:46
9.16 综合 TPO 20
The passage asserts the drawbacks of ‘let it burn’ policy, and argues three kinds of damage it brings out. However, the professor claims in the lecture that the fire truly brings out benefits. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, even though the reading asserts that Yellowstone fires make the vegetation devastated, a large portion of which is scorched, the professor points out that the fire really brings some benefits. This is because after the fire, new plants grow, covering the original scorched places, which makes vegetations various. What’s more, the open space and shade provide opportunity for small plants to grow, which take place the destroyed trees; and only by heats, some plant seeds can germinate. Obviously the germination and plants variety are what the Yellowstone fires contribute to. In this way, the professor’s statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Second, though the statement in the passage that animal population and food chain have been damaged by the fire, the professor claims just the opposite. Not only the animal population recovered after the fire, the food chain has been much stronger than before, because of the growth of small plants, which feed small animals like rabbits and hares thus benefit its predators.
Third, the reading argues that tourist’s trend is highly negatively affected by the fire, thus brings disadvantages to the local economy, whereas the professor points out that it's quite an unusual affair that the Yellowstone fire happens. In fact, after the fire, the tourists come as usual each year. The coincidence factors that contribute to the fire can hardly be made later. In this way, the professor proves the reading’s statement indefensible.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-16 21:40
9月16日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : children should engage in similar jobs that their parents have?
Nowadays, faced with the phenomenon that people have to struggle really hard in order to survive in this highly competitive society, people gradually jump to conclusion that it’s of great advantages to make their children engage in similar jobs that their parents have. Similarly, I agree with the statement. The specific points are as follows.
To begin with, it’s the precious experiences that children receive from their parents that equip them with the great advantage to survive in the area. This always happens when it requires special skills in a specific field. For example, children will of course touch some medicine-related affairs during their growth period when their parents are both doctors. Therefore, the medical equipment they’ve seen, the patients’ stories they’ve heard, and the basic principles that medical texture books contain are precious experiences they inherit from their parents, which in turn affect positively on their career in medical field. Compared with their colleagues, who haven’t experienced such process during the growing stage, these children are with great priorities to be excellent doctors, because of their extra medical resources.
What’s more, the social networks that parents hold will help a lot more to support their children’s career if the children continue their parent’s tracks on the field. No one would deny that the struggle people undertake in this cruel society. White collars need to get up extreme early, always with no time for lunch, and working extra hours is usually stock-in-trade. However, if a person has some social networks, things alters dramatically. For example, if the boss of a company that an employee wants to contend is his relative, the chance for him is much higher. In this way, parent’s network will help children a lot to find better colleges, better job opportunities. Therefore, the advantages for children to have similar career as their parents is self-evident.
However, its drawbacks are also obvious. The psychological priority children hold may bring them pride. For example, children whose major is mathematics, and whose parents are scientists, may think for granted that the formulas on textbooks are too easy to seriously deduce. Obviously, they’ll soon find their foolish decision to overlook the most important procedures in mathematics learning. Besides, the pressure that the children undertake accompanying with their growing stage is quite heavy, because they face the crucial reality that relatives, friends of both themselves and their parents always happily compare them with their parents, and even their career achievements easily owe to their parents’ efforts. In such circumstance, children could hardly happy do the same job as their parents.
In sum, from what have been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that it’s wise decision for children to have similar careers as their parents’, because of the extra experiences and social network, though its drawbacks is obvious and couldn’t be neglected.
作者: d0gzi 时间: 2012-9-16 22:40
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : children should engage in similar jobs that their parents have?
Nowadays, faced with the phenomenon that people(改成THEY 会不会更好一点？ 因为主语在后面前面可以用代词） have to struggle really hard in order to survive in this highly competitive society, people gradually jump to conclusion that it’s of great advantages to make their children engage in similar jobs that their parents have. Similarly, I agree with the statement. The specific points are as follows.
To begin with, it’s the precious experiences that children receive from their parents that equip them with the great advantage to survive in the area. This always happens when it requires special skills in a specific field. For example, children will of course touch some medicine-related affairs （touch 改成 get an easier access to 是不是会更好点？还有，affair一提我就觉得有贬义。。你觉得ISSUE或者TOPICS 会不会好一点？）during their growth period when their parents are both doctors. Therefore, the medical equipment they’ve seen, the patients’ stories they’ve heard, and the basic principles that medical texture books contain are precious experiences they inherit from their parents, which in turn affect positively on their career in medical field. Compared with their colleagues, who haven’t experienced such process during the growing stage, these children are with great(er) priorities to be (become)excellent doctors, because of their extra medical resources.
What’s more, the social networks that parents hold will help a lot more to support their children’s career if the children continue their parent’s tracks on(in)the field. No one would deny that the struggle people undertake (undertake responsibility ..bear struggle)in this cruel society. White collars need to get up extreme early, always with no time for lunch, and working extra hours is usually stock-in-trade. However, if a person has some social networks, things alters dramatically. For example, if the boss of a company that an employee wants to contend is his relative, the chance for him is much higher. In this way, parent’s network will help children a lot to find better colleges, better job opportunities. Therefore, the advantages for children to have similar career as their parents is self-evident.
However, its drawbacks are also obvious. The psychological priority children hold may bring them pride. For example, children whose major is mathematics, and whose parents are scientists, may think for granted that the formulas on textbooks are too easy to seriously deduce. Obviously, they’ll soon find their foolish decision to overlook the most important procedures in mathematics learning. Besides, the pressure that the children undertake accompanying with their growing stage is quite heavy, because they face the crucial reality that relatives, friends of both themselves and their parents always happily compare them with their parents, and even their career achievements easily owe to their parents’ efforts. In such circumstance, children could hardly happy (happily)do the same job as their parents.
In sum, from what have been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that it’s(a)wise decision for children to have similar careers as their parents’, because of the extra experiences and social network, though its drawbacks is obvious and couldn’t be neglected.
1. 这是我改的第一篇文章。。改的不好或者不对的地方请谅解。
2.感觉观点挺明确的。。写的挺好的
3.黄的地方是我觉得有问题的地方。红的是我觉得你用的很好的地方。
作者: d0gzi 时间: 2012-9-16 22:44
The passage asserts the drawbacks of ‘let it burn’ policy, and argues three kinds of damage it brings out. However, the professor claims in the lecture that the fire truly brings out benefits. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, even though the reading asserts that Yellowstone fires make the vegetation devastated, a large portion of which is scorched, the professor points out that the fire really brings some benefits. This is because after the fire, new plants grow, covering the original scorched places, which makes vegetations various. What’s more, the open space and shade provide opportunity for small plants to grow, which take place the destroyed trees; and only by heats, some plant seeds can germinate. Obviously the germination and plants variety are what the Yellowstone fires contribute to. In this way, the professor’s statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Second, though the statement in the passage that animal population and food chain have been damaged by the fire, the professor claims just the opposite. Not only the animal population recovered after the fire, the food chain has been much stronger than before, because of the growth of small plants, which feed small animals like rabbits and hares thus benefit its predators.
Third, the reading argues that tourist’s trend is highly negatively affected by the fire, thus brings disadvantages to the local economy, whereas the professor points out that it's quite an unusual affair that the Yellowstone fire happens. In fact, after the fire, the tourists come as usual each year. The coincidence factors that contribute to the fire can hardly be made later. In this way, the professor proves the reading’s statement indefensible.
我觉得我会给你5分吧……要点全都全了还有细节……很不错
TAT 天呐为什么我会有一个要点直接听错了呢……
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-17 20:35
9.17 综合 TPO 21
The reading holds the point that genetically modified trees have three mainly benefits. However, the professor in the lecture argues just the opposite. She uses three specific points to illustrate her idea.
First, even though the passage claims that genetically modified trees are hardier than nature trees, the professor in the lecture points out that it doesn't necessarily mean genetically modified trees are ensured to survive. Some nature individual trees will survive if the species are faced with a really tough condition, thus pass on the species' gene. On the contrary, genetically modified trees are so genetically uniform that if any environmental factor changes, which damages the tree, all of them will surely die out. Therefore, the professor's statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Second, though the statement in the reading that genetically modified trees will bring a number of economic benefits to those who grow them, the professor asserts that the potential cost is really huge. The company that raises genetically modified trees will surely ask for every tree the farmers plant by law. So each season when grow trees, farmers will pay a lot to the company.
Third, though the passage claims that genetically modified trees will save endangered native trees, the professor argues just the opposite. Because genetically modified trees grow so aggressively, they will compete with native trees. The resources they obtain will eventually help them crowd out native trees, among which they grow. In this way, the professor proves the reading's statement untenable.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-17 21:20
9.17Grades (marks) encourage students to learn？A\D
Nowadays in this highly competitive society, people have to struggle really hard in order to survive. Someone then argues that it’s necessary for students to raise such habit, namely to make a ‘marks like’ mechanism to encourage them to study hard. However, when faced with its dramatic disadvantages, I strongly disagree with such assertion. The specific points are as follows.
To begin with, I concede that grades are a kind of signal that more or less judges a student’s study level. After all, no other effective methods available like grades can actually reflect a student’s study ability. What’s more, the relatively moderate competition among students will instigate their high interests in study, though in some extent they do so for the aim of outpacing others. Just like the old saying goes: competition is the source of all human progress.
However, when concerned with the nature of education and the burden it brings to students, we may hardly agree with its significance in study. First, education is to explore students’ potential, not to judge if they pass an exam or not. The inner aim that education maintains is to make students truly interested on their major field, to explore the unknown around them. Only their own interests can lead them to do so, not grades. Second, not all students can rank number one among their fellows. The burden grades take to them will surely have negative effects on both their academic works and life. Unluckily, it may ruin a student’s whole interests on study. In such circumstance, for long term consideration, grades are only a small part in student’s study.
Besides, the competition that students taste when pursue for higher grades makes them fear any kind of competition in the future, let alone the study. No one could deny that there’s not such a person that always wins in any particular field. There will be one day he is outpaced by another person. Most of people will face failure in one particular competition. Therefore, if study is labeled as a weapon to win, many may fear to undertake it. For example, the first physics grade I took when I was a junior student in high school really let me down, and I feared a lot more whenever I took physics exams later. However, it proved later that I was with excellent talents to study physics. Even so, I still have more or less fear towards exams. It really has negative effects on my physics career.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that though grades have more or less effects on students’ study, its disadvantages have already outpaced its advantage, because of its deviation from education principle, and heavy burden it brings to students.
作者: d0gzi 时间: 2012-9-17 23:42
谢谢！！！！！TAT
一起加油！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-18 20:40
9.18 综合 TPO 22
The reading holds the point that the alternative resource, ethanol, is of three main drawbacks that it isn't a good replacement for gasoline. However, the professor in the lecture points out that none of these points is tenable. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, even though the passage argues that ethanol emit carbon dioxide to the environment, the professor claims that it doesn't necessarily lead to environment problem. Corn is known as the main plant that makes ethanol, and the carbon dioxide it absorbs has already counteracted that it emit. In fact, plant has already removed cordon dioxide from the atmosphere. Therefore the professor's statement directly contradicts its counterpart in the reading.
Second, though the statement in the reading that the amounts of ethanol would reduce the amount of plants available for animals, the professor contends that the specific plant part, on the plant’s cell walls that contributes to ethanol, is not eaten by animals, thus do no harm to the resources for animal. In this way, animals will not face with a lack of food.
Third, though the passage asserts that ethanol fuel will never be able to compete with gasoline on price because of its high price and the tax subsidies from the government, the professor proves that it's indefensible. The situation will not last long as far as more people buy ethanol fuel and its production is enlarged. It is proved that if the production amount is three times greater than it is now, its unit cost will surely drop 40 percent. If this is the case, ethanol price will not be a problem.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-18 21:36
9月18日
In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
History always has surprisingly coincidence. Its potential regulation is a big factor that contributes to the highlighted concern that we should review the past in order to solve problems of the present and the future. In this way, I strongly agree with the statement. The specific points are as follows.
To begin with, experiences form the past help us to evade the same failure in the future. No one could deny the crude phenomenon during the Second World War, when Japan was the target for the explosion of atom bomb. Faced with terrible results it brings, people should carefully use the nuclear power, not only in wars, but also in resources production.The lesson that the explosion of nuclear power station in Japan gives us a heavy strike, which recommends our offspring the significance of location and control of building new stations. Only after the review of the past, will we further understand how to evade the same failure.
In addition, it’s also the review of past that instigate our ambition for success. Take China for example. During the darkest period in Chinese history, namely the 19th, the week Chinese government and the tumultuous social situation made it vulnerable to western countries. No weapon, no high standard social regulations, and no strong leaders finally provided opportunities for invasion. Luckily, several decades later, the lesson instigated a new generation, who swore to save the whole nation, set up a new history legend. After continuous efforts to build a strong nation, China now is no longer its old fatigue. It is just the view of the past that instigates the will to fight for a bright future.
However, we should cautiously compare the situations between now and past, when decide to make a significant claim. Society now develops at a dramatic high speed that people have to struggle really hard to keep up with its speed. Therefore, though it’s of importance to learn from the past, when concern the various situations now, people have to judge the factors that outdated. For example, 27 years ago my mom was admitted in a college, due to her hard work in high school. However now, whenever my mom forces me to only concentrate on textbooks, I may shrug my shoulders, because students now should not only be equipped with basic knowledge in textbooks, but also the ability to receive information from internet and society. Pedants may receive respect and honor in the past, but now, it surely doesn’t work.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that when carefully compare the situations between now and past, people should surely review the past in order to solve the problems of present and future, because of its rich experiences.
作者: loveluyuanbai 时间: 2012-9-19 10:13
不好意思啊 改成别人的了 现在才发现。。。果断补上
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-19 13:49
9月19日
It is more important to choose friends that have fun with than to choose friendsthat will help you when you need them .
Faced with the tough situation nowadays, young people can hardly handle their life orientation especially when they strive for a better future. The highly competitive society and the heavy burden it brings make the young generation consider seriously what kind of friends they should choose. Though it may have amusement to accompany friends that have fun, the friends that will help us when we are trapped in a difficult situation are of priority to choose from. Therefore I strongly disagree with the title’s statement. The specific ideas are as follows.
To begin with, only those who can help us will truly open more opportunities to improve ourselves. Of course, no one in this world is born with plenty of skills that don’t need anyone’s help. Nearly everyone, as long as he lives among people, will face with difficulties in both life and career. Just like the old saying goes that the more friends we have, the more ways we can choose from. However, the potential significance of the saying is that such friends are those who can help us when we are in need of a helping hand, but not those only have fun. For example, when I was confused by some complex mathematics formulations in high school, it was my best friend that patiently helped me to handle with even the easiest problems, however my friends who always have fun just walked away. Therefore, it’s the friends that can help us that we can rely on.
In addition, the characters of the two types of friends vary a lot. Obviously, those we can make fun are more likely to go to parties, play computer games, talk about funny jokes, and have the tendency to find anything amusing around them. With such personalities, they are more satisfied with the extant conditions, without worrying about the future. On the contrary, those who want to help are those who have more responsibilities, and it’s often the case that they’re with fidelity. Therefore, our secrets and problems could be safely shared with those who can help us. Those who have fun are considered only as friends whom we want to relax with.
However, the advantages of accompanying friends who have fun are obvious: the humorous atmosphere they create helps us to live in a relaxing mood. Nowadays university students are loaded with heavy burden of academic works. Though the friends who help us can solve our problems in time, the potential burden they add to us should also not be neglected. Each time I faced with the phenomenon that when I was helpless to solve mathematics works, it was always my best friend to make it, I felt that more burdens was loaded on my shoulders. However, I always choose those who can make fun to accompany my lunch time because during lunch, the stress on my shoulders seems are totally lifted away.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that it's more important to choose friends that can help us than that have fun, because of their fidelity and eagerness that help to improve ourselves, though sometimes it brings more burden to us.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-19 14:32
9.19 TPO 23
The reading holds the points that there’re three main reasons for the yellow cedar declining. However, the professor in the lecture claims that none of these factors adequate to explain for its decline. He uses three specific points to illustrate his idea.
First, even though the reading argues that it’s cedar bark beetle, which attack yellow cedar, that contribute to its die, the professor in the lecture points out that it’s unconvincing. Because yellow cedar can secret a kind of chemical that poison the cedar bark beetle, the resistance ability of insect infection can surely protect itself. In other words, the cedar bark beetle can hardly survive in such environment in yellow cedar. Only the sick and unhealthy yellow cedar is vulnerable to the cedar bark beetle. Therefore, the professor’s statement directly contradicts its counterpart in the lecture.
Second, even though the statement in the passage that brown bear is a great threat to yellow cedar, the professor contends that such threat is overestimated. The main island where yellow cedar grows is without bears, let alone to assert that it’s bears who kill yellow cedar. Though it’s true that bow bear may damage some yellow cedar, it’s untenable to argue that it’s responsible for the decline whole yellow cedar species.
Third, though the passage asserts that it’s the root explosion under cold that makes yellow cedar unhealthy, the professor argues that it overlooks one point that directly contradicts this conclusion. It has been proved that yellow cedar in lower elevation, where it’s warm, is less healthy than that in higher elevation, where the climate is much colder. If the statement in the passage is true, then the fact in real world should just be the opposite.
作者: 蝴蝶渡海 时间: 2012-9-20 19:03
The reading holds the points that there’re three main reasons for the yellow cedar declining. However, the professor in the lecture claims that none of these factors adequate to explain for its decline. He uses three specific points to illustrate his idea.
First, even though the reading argues that it’s cedar bark beetle, which attacks yellow cedar, that contributes to its（its指代的yellow cedar在句子中没有提及吧） die, the professor in the lecture points out that it’s unconvincing. Because yellow cedar can secret（secret有动词的能力么）a kind of chemical that poison the cedar bark beetle, the resistance ability of insect infection can surely protect itself. In other words, the cedar bark beetle can hardly survive in such environment in yellow cedar. Only the sick and unhealthy yellow cedar is vulnerable to the cedar bark beetle. Therefore, the professor’s statement directly contradicts its counterpart in the lecture.
Second, even though the statement in the passage that brown bear is a great threat to yellow cedar, the professor contends that such threat is overestimated. The main island(听力里面说的是 main land有bear吧，其他的island没有bear吧) where yellow cedar grows is without bears, let alone to assert that it’s bears who kill yellow cedar. Though it’s true that bow（brown） bear may damage some yellow cedar, it’s untenable to argue that it’s responsible for the decline whole yellow cedar species.
Third, though the passage asserts that it’s the root explosion under cold that makes yellow cedar unhealthy, the professor argues that it overlooks one point that directly contradicts this conclusion. It has been proved that yellow cedar in lower elevation, where it’s warm, is less healthy than that in higher elevation, where the climate is much colder. If the statement in the passage is true, then the fact in real world should just be the opposite.
改的稍微晚点了，请见谅。文章的写得很好的，词汇的用法也很得体，三个观点之间的对比辩论也不错
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-20 19:24
对的，我说的是main island ，也就是主要的岛屿， 听力中说的是mainland，也就是大陆，这两个不一样~~ 听力中的island就是我这里的main island
作者: xeyyxzty 时间: 2012-9-20 21:13
开头写的真好
Faced withthe tough situation nowadays, young people can hardly handle their lifeorientation especially when they strive for a better future. The highlycompetitive society and the heavy burden it brings make the young generationconsider seriously what kind of friends they should choose. Though it may haveamusement to accompany friends that have fun, the friends that will help uswhen we are trapped in a difficult situation are of priority to choose from.Therefore I strongly disagree with the title’s statement. The specific ideasare as follows.
To begin with, only those who can help us willtruly open more opportunities(open opportunities是够正确我不清楚哈~offer opportunities这个我确定~) to improve ourselves. Of course, no one in thisworld is born with plenty of skills that don’t need anyone’s help. Nearlyeveryone, as long as he lives among people（这是什么意思~群居吗？）, will face with difficulties in both life and career. Just like theold saying goes that the more friends we have, the more ways we can choosefrom. However, the potential significance of the saying is that such friendsare those who can help us when we are in need of a helping hand, but not thoseonly have fun. For example, when I was confused by some complex mathematicsformulations in high school, it was my best friend that patiently helped me tohandle with even the easiest problems, however my friends who always have(had) fun just walkedaway. Therefore, it’s the friends that can help us that we can rely on.
In addition, the characters of the two types offriends vary a lot. Obviously, those we can make fun are more likely to go toparties, play computer games, talk about funny jokes, and have the tendency tofind anything amusing around them. With such personalities, they are moresatisfied with the extant conditions, without worrying about the future. On thecontrary, those who want to help are those who have more responsibilities(are more awared of 怎么样~), and it’s often the case that they’re withfidelity. Therefore, our secrets and problems could be safely shared with thosewho can help us. Those who have fun are considered only as friends whom we wantto relax with.
However, the advantages of accompanying friendswho have fun are obvious: the humorous atmosphere they create helps us to live in a relaxingmood. Nowadays university students are loaded with heavy burden of academicworks. Though the friends who help us can solve our problems in time, thepotential burden they add to us should also not be neglected. Each time I facedwith the phenomenon（不是很恰当吧~situation怎么样） thatwhen I was helpless to solve（个人感觉solving更好一点） mathematics works,it was always my best friend to make it, I felt that more burdens was(were) loaded on myshoulders. However, I always choose those who can make fun to accompany in my lunch timebecause during lunch, the stress on my shoulders seemsare(to be) totally lifted away.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, wemay safely draw the conclusion that it's more important to choose friends thatcan help us than that have fun, because of their fidelity and eagerness thathelp to improve ourselves, though sometimes it brings more burden to us.
总体而言写的不错哦~
熊熊水平有限,可能改的不是很恰当,见谅
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-20 22:01
9.20综合TPO 24
The reading holds the point that the T. rex’s leg bone still remains some actual tissue. However, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on it. He uses three specific points to support his idea.
First, even though the passage argues that the soft substance in the leg bone is actually the dinosaur’s blood vessels, the professor gives an alternative explanation. Because bacteria always occupy hollows after organism dies, and leave organic material, the soft substance is probably from the traces of soft residuals of bacteria colonies. In this way, the professor’s statement directly contradicts its counterpart in the passage.
Second, though the statement in the reading that the spheres in the leg bone reflect its red blood cells, the professor in the lecture disputes that it’s inconvincible. Because the spheres are also discovered from other animal fossils at the same location, which don’t have red blood cells when they are alive, we can’t conclude that spheres definitely lead to reflection of red blood cells. It may be only reddish minerals.
Third, though the passage asserts that collagen matrix found in the leg bone is the representation of its bone tissue, the professor proves it’s untenable. Normally, collagen can only survive within 100 thousand years, however the dinosaur was alive 70 million years ago. Therefore the collagen can’t be the dinosaur’s. What’s more, as human skin always carries collagen, it might be the researcher’s hand’s collagen that left when they handle bones.
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-20 22:14
占楼因为没写是综合还是独立，Alex 拒绝分组，剩两天了，自己写自己改。
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-20 22:15
没见过这样的写作小分队，大不如前了。
作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-9-20 22:30
抱歉 可能之間有什麽誤會或者其他的原因 我帶嫑小分組想你道歉 今天的作文如果可以的話我幫你改吧
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-20 22:38
谢谢鹤鹤版主！！我一定努力写出好文！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-20 23:52
9.24
which do you choose to improve your health：kind of food you eat，amount of exercise，amount of stress
Nowadays people have to struggle really hard in order to survive in this highly competitive society. While people have various ways to release their stress and choose a relatively suitable way to improve their health, I particularly tend to have a favorable attitude towards exercise as a major way to strengthen my physique. The specific points are as follows.
To begin with, exercise is the best way to make the whole body active, which is beneficial to health because of the positive motion that each body cell enjoys. Jogging, swimming, playing tennis, whatever we pick up as the way to exercise, we’ll potentially increase our lung and cardio capacity. In this way, some tough illness can even be conquered. For example, my grandmother once was troubled with her stomachache. Even no effects showed after she swallowed plenty of medicines. Surprisingly, after jogging for a month along my hometown street, her stomachache was cured. It is by no means an exceptional example, and similar cases can be heard in my surroundings.
In addition, it is of significance to improve sleeping quality. When I was in high school, I was dramatically feared of late night because of sleeplessness. However, after I had been jogging in my yard each day after school, I felt it was much easier to fall in sleep. Such is not a coincidence. After I asked my several classmates, I found out that their responses all pointed to an agreeable conclusion: exercise helps sleep. What’s more, each day I wake up, my metabolism was updated and I felt the whole body was refreshed, the feeling of which that had never happened before. In such circumstance, exercise became a particularly important part in my life. Even today, when I’m in the university, I still exercise four to five times a week in order to keep a refreshing body each day.
Besides, it is also exercise that helps release my stress, which is beneficial to my psychological health. University student as I am, can hardly spare time to rest, let alone the amusement. What is worse, the stress is from both life and academic works. My major is financial engineering, which requires both deep mathematics principles and familiarity with economic theories. So you can imagine how busy I’m everyday and how heavy burden I have to take on my shoulders. Luckily, it is exercise that helps me effectively release all of these. Each time I’m jogging in the gym, enjoying the pleasure it brings to me, I could patiently as well as seriously consider my measures to deal with problems. What’s more, I’ve some partners, who join me in the gym, and the time we spend is filled with relaxing atmosphere.
In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that exercise plays a significant part in one’s health, because of its effects on the body, stress decrease and sleeping quality improvement.
作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-9-21 21:06
主要有一個問題：文章中如果前后出现同一个意思的一句话，你一般习惯用同一种表达，这其实很不好，尽量保证每句话在文章中只出现一次~~~
[attach]106788[/attach]
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-21 21:27
谢版主！
作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-9-21 22:41
好了~
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-22 11:13
谢谢鹤鹤版主~~ 
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-9-24 10:42
p.s. 开头不是模版呢。。是feifei自己写的。。。
作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-9-24 17:41
p.s. 开头不是模版呢。。是feifei自己写的。。。
-- by 会员 huluhulufei (2012/9/24 10:42:09)
考得肿么样哈？
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-9-24 20:22
feifei好运！期待好成绩！
谢谢你对小分队的建议！
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-10-3 20:09
谢谢版主关心！ 9.23 刚出分，这回写作28了， 准备写个经验贴，名字叫：托福写作，从27到28。。。。
作者: huluhulufei 时间: 2012-10-3 20:12
谢谢鸟妈关心！！ 托福刚出分，写作28了。。。
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