When we do some works in a team,(it comes to team work), The conflictsthat between one is unsatisfied with or another's work cannot be avoided. Somebelieve that whether a person accept criticism from one another in ateam or not will not affect his achievement. However, lacking the ability oftolerating or accept criticism means also lackingin ability of team collaboration, even worse it might influence other membersand fail in the project. Thus, accepting criticism is necessity of one'sspirit.
To begin with, working in one team means everyone shouldobserve team rules, and gives or accepts advice or criticism mutually. In mostcases, a team member should not only focus on his work, but also by givingsuggestions to other members to avoid mistakes. Team spirit is a crucial pointwhen members spare effort in pursuing goals, so the stability is used to determine if a team willachieve. 这句话看不懂，无法理解）Acceptingother's criticism helps team members to find out shortage of his work, and maintaincorrect （应该是帮助发现错误然后改正吧， maintain 我理解得意思是保持）it.Furthermore, it is a good way enhances cohesiverelationship between team members.
Besides, criticism is like a spur, it stimulate our mindto make sure our work correctly and efficiently. In addition, by acceptingcriticism, we will be able to figure out weakness of ourselves. Last semester,our teacher had assigned a presentation about global warming and we must workin group finding material in library. Xiao Ming, one of my team members, alwayscriticized about my work, and I did not accept his criticism at first. Then when it comes to we made final check of ourpresentation, it turned out those materials I collected were totally irrelevantto our topic, and Xiao Ming's was right. As a result I had to do thesame work again and apologized to him for ignoring his criticism. I learned alot from this event that no one is perfectly right and we everyone everybody make so many mistakes that could be avoidby there is necessary to detect them by acceptcriticism of others.
Undeniably , some peopleare more excellent than other anyone of us, and he makes great contribution to theteam. It seems that criticisms suggested by others are useless. However,without the rest of members' help, the goal couldn't be achieved, it’s not doesn't just the personal achievement mattersbut sense of the team honor. Or it’s the teamhonor matters rather than personal achievement.
关于你的作文，我觉得整体还可以，有自己得模板，这样在时间上和数量上能控制得很好。
但是，你的语言看起来很中国话，不是很通顺，如果是这样得话，我觉得反而不需要那些比较生僻的词。
不过如果，你觉得这样分数会低得话，建议你看看杨鹏难句什么的， 那个写起来会让人觉得很高深。
When we do some works in a team,(it comes to team work), The conflictsthat between one is unsatisfied with or another's work cannot be avoided. Somebelieve that whether a person accept criticism from one another in ateam or not will not affect his achievement. However, lacking the ability oftolerating or accept criticism means also lackingin ability of team collaboration, even worse it might influence other membersand fail in the project. Thus, accepting criticism is necessity of one'sspirit.
To begin with, working in one team means everyone shouldobserve team rules, and gives or accepts advice or criticism mutually. In mostcases, a team member should not only focus on his work, but also by givingsuggestions to other members to avoid mistakes. Team spirit is a crucial pointwhen members spare effort in pursuing goals, so the stability is used to determine if a team willachieve. 这句话看不懂，无法理解）Acceptingother's criticism helps team members to find out shortage of his work, and maintaincorrect （应该是帮助发现错误然后改正吧， maintain 我理解得意思是保持）it.Furthermore, it is a good way enhances cohesiverelationship between team members.
Besides, criticism is like a spur, it stimulate our mindto make sure our work correctly and efficiently. In addition, by acceptingcriticism, we will be able to figure out weakness of ourselves. Last semester,our teacher had assigned a presentation about global warming and we must workin group finding material in library. Xiao Ming, one of my team members, alwayscriticized about my work, and I did not accept his criticism at first. Then when it comes to we made final check of ourpresentation, it turned out those materials I collected were totally irrelevantto our topic, and Xiao Ming's was right. As a result I had to do thesame work again and apologized to him for ignoring his criticism. I learned alot from this event that no one is perfectly right and we everyone everybody make so many mistakes that could be avoidby there is necessary to detect them by acceptcriticism of others.
Undeniably , some peopleare more excellent than other anyone of us, and he makes great contribution to theteam. It seems that criticisms suggested by others are useless. However,without the rest of members' help, the goal couldn't be achieved, it’s not doesn't just the personal achievement mattersbut sense of the team honor. Or it’s the teamhonor matters rather than personal achievement.
-- by 会员 sherryzhangh (2012/7/22 15:33:14)
~互相加油啊