标题: 才开始写，求拍砖~ [打印本页] 作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-5-22 22:15 标题: 才开始写，求拍砖~ There is an argument about the reasons to cause the decline of the yellow cedar, a kind of tree which is common in northwestern North America for more than one hundred years. What the reading offered contends that there are three hypotheses advanced by the professors to explain this phenomenon. However, the lecture contradicts the ideas stated in the reading, it argues that those explanations are not reasonable and illustrates why.
In the first place, the reading states that the insects, especially the cedar beetles, eat the wood and kill a large number of the trees. On the contrary, the lecture contends that the bark and leaves of the yellow cedars are concentrated with powerful chemicals that are poisonous to insects. So the trees are much more resistant and have been away from the damage of the insects. Consequently, the insects are not fundamentally responsible.
Furthermore, although it is said in the passage that browns bears eat the sweet bark, resulting in the decline of the trees. The lecture holds the idea that the population of the trees decreases in either the mainland where bears live or the island where on bears live. Therefore, the bears should not be responsible for this phenomenon.
Ultimately, contrary to the belief in the passage that the gradual changes of climate is a cause to the decline, as the roots that star growing in the winter are easy to be damaged by the freezing on cold winter, the professor says that if this explanation is true, the number of dead trees in low elevation with higher temperature in winter should be larger than that of high elevation with lower temperature. But this fact is adverse. Therefore, the root growing early in the later winter can not kill the trees.作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-5-22 22:18
毕业两年了，第一次动笔写作文，真是伤不起，希望大家多多提意见了~马上就要上考场了，貌似准备得晚了捏~作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-5-22 22:28
5.22 独立
Such a question often poses in front of the undergraduates: whether I have made sufficient preparation to the future job or not and whether I can hunt for a satisfying job after graduation in this competitive society or not. It is undeniable that many people assert that the students should rely on themselves to prepare for their future jobs, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that colleges and universities should do better to help the students prepare for the future work.
To begin with, colleges and universities need to teach more modern and practical knowledge to the students. The world is changing so tremendously that some knowledge is not as useful as before and some techniques are substituted by other new technology. A case in point is me. My major is marketing in the university, after my graduation, I found a adapt job in an electric products manufacturing company which I aspired for many years. But soon, I found that I studied a large amount of knowledge of traditional promotion and places. Unfortunately, our company mostly adopts E-commerce to sell the products which I had never known about. I had to spend much time learning about this place from the beginning. Many of my friends also find these mismatches in their work. So all of us think our university ought to renew the knowledge quickly and efficiently, especially that about our major.
Furthermore, the universities are able to take more measures to raise students’ social skills and office customs to make them get along with colleges and customers well in future. After going into the society, people will face much more complex social relationship. They will face leaders of different rank, ordinary colleges and customs. Knowing correct behaviors and adequate words to different people play an important role in career success. For instance, my best friend is a very brisk and brilliant girl who is very popular among us. At the start of work career, she often interrupt others announcement and express her thoughts. Although she is just ambitious and eager to share her opinion with others, she leaves others a impression of rude. If she had acquired the coaches of office customs, this would not happen. While, few universities are aware of this and set up courses or clubs to coach the students. They should do this job better.
The last but least, the universities can help the students get more internships which are good job preparations. Nowadays, social competition is very intense, while the world economic situation is not very good. As a result, it is harder for a student to find an internship. In China, the universities do not help the student regardless of their difficulties. Consequently, a large number of students lose opportunities to experience doing a job. Actually, the universities can contact with more local or nearby companies often to advise they provide more intern ship to students. Both of them can benefit from this.
In conclusion, there are many aspects that colleges and universities can prompt in to help students to prepare for their future jobs.作者: 包子不包子 时间: 2012-5-23 08:54 There is an argument about 这句开头感觉不大好哎 第一句要提到讲座和文章吧 the reasons to cause the decline of the yellow cedar, a kind of tree which is common in northwestern North America for more than one hundred years. What the reading offered contends that there are three hypotheses advanced by the professors to explain this phenomenon. However, the lecture contradicts the ideas stated in the reading, it argues that those explanations are not reasonable and illustrates why.
In the first place, the reading states that the insects, especially the cedar beetles, eat the wood and kill a large number of the trees. On the contrary, the lecture contends that the bark and leaves of the yellow cedars are concentrated with powerful chemicals that are poisonous to insects. So the trees are much more resistant and have been away from the damage of the insects. Consequently, the insects are not fundamentally responsible.我记得还有解释为什么会有虫子在树里面 但是没有听太明白
Furthermore, although it is said in the passage that browns bears eat the sweet bark, resulting in the decline of the trees. The lecture holds the idea that the population of the trees decreases in either the mainland where bears live or the island where onno bears live. if it is the reasult of bears...再加一句比较好 嘿嘿 Therefore, the bears should not be responsible for this phenomenon.
Ultimately, contrary to the belief in the passage that the gradual changes of climate is a cause to the decline, as the roots that star growing in the winter are easy to be damaged by the freezing on cold winter,说道frost 了the professor says that if this explanation is true, the number of dead trees in low elevation with higher temperature in winter should be larger than that of high elevation with lower temperature. But this fact is adverse. Therefore, the roots' growing early in the later winter can not kill the trees.
词汇 句式都没什么问题 词汇蛮好的哦 最后可以加上总结段 倒数第二段对听力的叙述有些少了作者: 包子不包子 时间: 2012-5-23 09:24
Such a question often poses in front of the undergraduates: whether I have made sufficient preparation to the future job or not and whether I can hunt for a satisfying job after graduation in this competitive society or not. It is undeniable that many people assert that the students should rely on themselves to prepare for their future jobs, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that colleges and universities should do better to help the students prepare for the future work.
To begin with, colleges and universities need to teach more modern and practical knowledge to the students. The world is changing so tremendously that some knowledge is not as useful as before and some techniques are substituted by other new technology. 和到一起说吧 词汇重复有些多了A case in point is me. My major is marketing in the university, after my graduation, I found a adapt job in an electric products manufacturing company which I aspired for many years. But soon, I found that I had studied a large amount of knowledge of traditional promotion and places. Unfortunately, our company mostly adopts E-commerce to sell the products which I had never known heard about. I had to spend much time learning about this place from the beginning. Many of my friends also find these mismatches in their work. So all of us think our university ought to renew the knowledge quickly and efficiently, especially that about our major. job preparation for related major 不能直接总结到知识上吧
Furthermore, the universities are able to take more measures to raise students’ social skills and office customs to make them get along with colleges colleagues and customers well in future. After going stepping into the society, people will face much more complex social relationships. They will face leaders of different ranks, ordinary colleges and customs. Knowing correct behaviors and adequate words to different people Konwing how to behave and talk properly..plays an important role in career success. For instance, my best friend who is very popular among us is a very brisk and brilliant girl 感觉这样逻辑性更好哎 . At the start beginning? of work career, she often interrupts others' announcement and expresses her thoughts. Although she is just ambitious and eager to share her opinion with others, she leaves others a impression of rude. If she had acquired the coaches of office customs, this would not happen. While, few universities are aware of this and set up courses or clubs to coach the students. They should do this job better.
The last but not the least, the universities can help the students get more internships which are good job preparations. Nowadays, social competition is very intense, while the world economic situation is not very good. As a result, it is harder for a student to find an internship. In China, the universities do not help the student regardless of their difficulties. Consequently, a large number of students lose opportunities to experience doing a job. Actually, the universities can contact with more local or nearby companies often to advise they provide more intern ship to students. Both of them can benefit from this.
In conclusion, there are many aspects 是讨论应不应该有更好的job preparation 不应该讨论有哪些方面要做吧 that colleges and universities can prompt in to help students to prepare for their future jobs.
总体还好啊 注意细节哦 少了好多s 倒数第二段可以让步写 更有说服力 不知道把实习算在工作准备里面合适不啊 最后总结再斟酌一下吧作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-5-23 18:40
谢谢包子哦，一下帮我改了两篇~作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-5-23 22:35
5.23独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.
Such a question often poses in front of many adults of china which is a tremendously urbanized country in recent twenty years: big cities or countryside, which one I think is a adapt place for our parents to live when they are old. It is undeniable that many people cast their preference to countryside for the fresher air, the more beautiful natural scenery, but overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe the big cities are much more wonderful place for us to take care of our family members.
To begin with, big cities mean more convenient living circumstance. There are many kinds of advance and well-equipped places and facilities, such as hospitals, schools, libraries and so on. All of them are of big importance to the old and young who need the attention most in a family. Without those, they can not live safe and happily, even sometime be dangerous. For instance, my hometown is a small remote country,. Several yeas ago, a distant relative was found be poisoned by carbon monoxide released from the gas stove. It took three hours for her son to drive to a hospital in the downtown area. Though the doctor did their utmost to save her, she died. The doctor said if she can be sent into hospital sooner, maybe she could survive. Obviously, convenient facilities and public institution in the big cities play a significantly important role in our life.
Furthermore, big cities own much more intense and artistic cultural atmosphere which is our family numbers can benefit from. Either hardware of software is better in cities. Only in cities can we find so many theaters, libraries, cinemas and different kinds of clubs. Both the old and the young can find what they are interested in and enjoy then. A case in point is my grandmother. Every night, she went to dance in the public center with my neighbors. They are members of a famous dancing club. Thanks to that, she remains a good health. She loves her life in the old age.
Admittedly, there are some advantages in countryside which big cities can not compare with, such as the fresh air, fresh vegetables and fruits, harmony social atmosphere and so on. Nevertheless, all of those are not as necessary as what the cities provide. In addition, people living in big cities can also buy organic vegetables and fruits for their family members, go to park area to enjoy fresh air and go to clubs to make friends.
In conclusion, big cities are far more adequate and wonderful place to take care of our families to let them enjoy perfect life. When my parents get older, I will bring them to the city where I live in to make more accessible for me to look after them better.作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-5-23 22:42
TPO 24: The topic is mainly discussing a fossil of dinosaur. What the reading offered contends that there seem to be the remains of bone tissues. The researchers found the remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix in the fossil after their break of the T. rex leg bone. However, the lecture contradicts the idea stated in the reading; it argues that sound reasons are skeptical to the identification made in the reading.
In the first place, the reading states that a soft, flexible substance inside the channels may be the remains of the actual vessels. On the contrary, the lecture contends that they may be something else, like the traces of moisture residue after bacteria colonies.
Furthermore, although it is said in the passage that a test shows the spheres in the bone containing iron may be red blood cells. The lecture holds the idea that since the identifiable element was also be found in the fossils of other animals which surely did not have blood cells when they were alive, so the iron may just origin from some piece of mineral.
Ultimately, contrary to the belief in the passage that the bone contains collagen which is a component of living bone tissue, the professor says that we have never found collagen in a animal remains older than 100000 years, but the dinosaur lived in 70-million years ago. Therefore, the collagen may come from recent organisms, like the hand of people who hang the bone.作者: lxc1989614 时间: 2012-5-24 20:42
Such a question often poses in front of many adults of china which is a tremendously urbanized country in recent twenty years: big cities or countryside, which one I thinkis a adapt place for our parents to live when they are old. It is undeniable that many people cast their preference to countryside for the fresher air, the more beautiful natural scenery, but overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe the big cities are much more wonderful place for us to take care of our family members.
To begin with, big cities mean more convenient living circumstance. There are many kinds of advance and well-equipped places and facilities, such as hospitals, schools, libraries and so on. All of them are of big importance to the old and young who need the attention most in a family. Without those, they can not live safe and happily, even sometime be dangerous. For instance, my hometown is a small remote country,. Several yeas ago, a distant relative was found be poisoned by carbon monoxide released from the gas stove. It took three hours for her son to drive to a hospital in the downtown area. Though the doctor did their utmost to save her, she died. The doctor said if she can be sent into hospital sooner, maybe she could survive. Obviously, convenient facilities and public institution in the big cities play a significantly important role in our life.这段是不是可以精简一下??我觉得后面说的优点繁琐了
Furthermore, big cities own much more intense and artistic cultural atmosphere which is our family numbers can benefit from. Either hardware of or software is better in cities. Only in cities can we find so many theaters, libraries, cinemas and different kinds of clubs. Both the old and the young can find what they are interested in and enjoy then. A case in point is my grandmother. Every night, she went to dance in the public center with my neighbors. They are members of a famous dancing club. Thanks to that, she remains a good health. She loves her life in the old age.这两句可以合并一下`
Admittedly, there are some advantages in countryside which big cities can not compare with, such as the fresh air, fresh vegetables and fruits, harmony social atmosphere and so on. Nevertheless, all of those are not as necessary as what the cities provide. In addition, people living in big cities can also buy organic vegetables and fruits for their family members, go to park area to enjoy fresh air and go to clubs to make friends.
In conclusion, big cities are far more adequate and wonderful place to take care of our families to let them enjoy perfect life. When my parents get older, I will bring them to the city where I live in to make more accessible for me to look after them better.
Have you ever went into a university which is far more away from your hometown？Have you ever moved to a big city to search for better job and a brighter future? Have you ever lived in a different country to experienced different culture? There is no doubt that a multitude of people think that moving to a new place is not a good thing due to loss of old friends, while a overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that their worry is unnecessary.
To begin with, we can keep in touch with old friends as frequent as before despite a long distance. Technology is developing rapidly everyday. With the wide cover of internet, Facebook, Twitter, Msn and Gmail jump into our life, which provide people with great convenience in communication. We can chat with our friends face to face whenever we like and wherever we are. Plus, transportation is very accessible and affordable to most people. After graduation, I got a job position in a big company in Beijing, whereas my best friend, Coco, stays in Shanghai in which my university is. In daily life, we often share our life and work on msn, and we fly to see each other in holiday. Consequently, we still have a very close relationship
Furthermore, true friends can stand the trial of distance and time. A famous poetry of Tang dynasty said that a bosom friend afar brings a distant land near. No matter how far away, a true friend can miss you and care about you forever. This is why friendship is great. A case in point is one of my childhood friends with whom I had lose contact for many years. Once I was going shopping, she recognized me and stopped me. Then we went to a Starbuck, she told me that she missed me so much and wanted to if I am fine. We never forgot each other even though we lost contact for many years.
Last but not the least, with newly-gained different experience after separation, friends can have more interesting experience to share and more knowledge to learn from each other, and thus more interesting topics to talk about. Since I moved to Beijing, life is totally different with that of Shanghai, such as the food, climate, dialect and culture. It is the diversity of our daily experience that gives me and my best friends more interesting subjects of a talk.
In the modern world, situation is changing almost every day. We cannot stop our steps to run after succeed and happy. Moving to another place is not equal to lose our friends. A friend to a person is what water to fish. A true friend will always support your decision and feel happy to your happiness. The distance between your hearts will never be as far as the geographic distance.
作者: 花呀clear 时间: 2012-6-2 01:21
Have you ever went into a university which is far more away from your hometown？Have you ever moved to a big city to search for better job and a brighter future? Have you ever lived in a different country to experienced(experience) different culture? There is no doubt that a multitude of people think that moving to a new place is not a good thing due to loss of old friends, while a overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that their worry is unnecessary.
To begin with, we can keep in touch with old friends as frequent as before despite a long distance. Technology is developing rapidly everyday. With the wide cover of internet, Facebook, Twitter, Msn and Gmail jump into our life(好生动的用法!!), which provide people with great convenience in communication. We can chat with our friends face to face whenever we like and wherever we are. Plus, transportation is very accessible and affordable to (accessible跟to 但是affordable跟for 分开比较好)most people. (加点转折词 比如Take my experience as an example, 不然感觉略显突兀)After graduation, I got a job position in a big company in Beijing, whereas my best friend, Coco, stays in Shanghai in which my university is. In daily life, we often share our life and work on msn, and we fly to see each other in holiday. Consequently, we still have a very close relationship.
Furthermore, true friends can stand the trial of distance and time. A famous poetry of Tang dynasty said that a bosom friend afar brings a distant land near(直接唐诗了都....好高级!!). No matter how far away, a true friend can miss you and care about you forever. This is why friendship is great. A case in point is one of my childhood friends with whom I had lose contact for many years. Once I was going shopping, she recognized me and stopped me. Then we went to a Starbuck, she told me that she missed me so much and wanted to if I am fine(是想说[想知道我过的好不好]吗? 最好把if改成wether 书面语中if只当[如果]讲的). We never forgot each other even though we lost contact for many years. (例子稍稍感觉有点不合适 因为可能在有的人看来很多年不见就相当于loss了....一家之言哈)
Last but not the least(忘记在哪本书上 貌似是许轶的挑战TOEFL作文满分? 说这个词非常不正式 作文里慎用), with newly-gained different experience after separation, friends can have more interesting experience to share and more knowledge to learn from each other, and thus more interesting topics to talk about. Since I moved to Beijing, life is totally different with(from) that of Shanghai, such as the food, climate, dialect and culture. It is the diversity of our daily experience that gives me and my best friends more interesting subjects of a talk.(in a talk 或者 to talk吧?)强调句用得好
In the modern world, situation is changing almost every day. We cannot stop our steps to run after succeed(名词, success) and happy. Moving to another place is not equal to lose our friends. A friend to a person is what water to fish. A true friend will always support your decision and feel happy to(for) your happiness. The distance between your hearts will never be as far as the geographic distance. 作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-6-2 11:29
TOP9:综合 Both the reading and the lecture explore the issue of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell. The writer insists that is a good replacement of internal-combustion engine. However, the speaker claims that it is not a solution to the problems associated with the problems of the internal-combustion engine.
It is mentioned in the reading that hydrogen needed for the fuel-cell engines can be got easily from various sources. The professor, on the contrary, holds the idea that the hydrogen derived from water or gas can not be used directly. They have to be in pure liquid condition. This pure liquid hydrogen is a highly artificial substance which is very difficult to produce and store. So this method is not practical.
The next point made by the reading is that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solve many pollution problems. Again, the speaker claims that much energy can be used in the manufacture of pure liquid hydrogen. This energy comes form the burning of a lager amount of coal and oil which cause much pollution.
Ultimately, the author states that people can save money to use the a fuel-cell engine due to it is more efficient, Whereas the professor disapproves that point by explaining that manufacturing fuel-cell engine is very expensive because fuel-cell engines require components made of platinum, a very rare and expensive metal.作者: teresaz318 时间: 2012-6-2 21:46
Both the reading and the lectureexplore the issue of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell. The writer insists that is agood replacement of internal-combustion engine. However, the speaker claimsthat it is not a solution to the problemsassociated with the problems of 过于啰嗦了你不觉得么？＝＝theinternal-combustion engine.
It is mentioned in the reading that hydrogen needed for the fuel-cell enginescan be got easily from various sources. The professor, on the contrary, holdsthe idea that the hydrogen derived from water or gas cannot 这词连着的cannot be used directly. They have tobe in pure liquid condition. This pure liquid hydrogen is a highly artificialsubstance which is very difficult to produce and store. So this method is not practical.
The next point made by the reading is that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solvemany pollution problems. Again, the speaker claims that much energy can be usedin the manufacture of pure liquid hydrogen. This energy comes form From the burning of a lagerlarge amount of coal and oil which cause much pollution.
Ultimately, the author states that people can save money to use the a fuel-cellengine due to it is more efficient, Whereas the professor disapproves thatpoint by explaining that manufacturing fuel-cell engine is very expensivebecause fuel-cell engines require components made of platinum, a very rare andexpensive metal.
不错啦！都是一些小问题～ 考试肯定ok smile !!作者: joan31217 时间: 2012-6-5 08:55
MM你忘了帮我改6.1号的综合，有时间请帮我改下吧，谢谢~作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-6-5 13:13
sorry啊，这就帮你改~作者: hysx1988 时间: 2012-8-15 23:27
8.15 独立 Have you ever accepted forgiveness from your parents after making a mistake? Have you ever learned an important principle from your own fault? Have you ever experienced success after many times of failure? There is no doubt that a multitude of people suggest that parents should protect their children from making mistakes, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that parents should allow their children to make mistakes, summarize reasons and learn from them.
To begin with, mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. When we are children, our parents are so patient and gentle to teach us every truth and principle. Making us to grow up smoothly and healthily are their targets. But sometimes only by feeling the results of mistakes can we know how correct our parents are. Take my brother as a example. Last year, he was so addicted in playing computer games that he even cut classes and told lies to teachers and parents. My mum was very angry and prohibited him from turning on the laptop. She soon found that all bans are useless. He persisted his own ways. Surprisingly, after accepting the awful scores of final exams and experiencing the alienation with his friends, he quitted computer games. Obviously, he realized that his behaviors were wrong. He told me that he learned that addiction to something excessively is wrong.
Furthermore, allowing children to make mistakes can help them develop “failure tolerance” by not over-reacting to their mistake. Nowadays, in china, most children as single child of their family are protected turgidly. They are very sensitive to failure and mistakes. Unfortunately, everyone has to become independent. One day, without protection of their families, they may be feared to face their mistakes. They may be scared and disappointed and even lose their courage. ‘Failure tolerance” is very important for a people to become successful. If Steven Jobs was passive and down when he was expelled from the “Apple” which is founded by him, there would be the wonderful and great creation-iphone.
Admittedly, mistakes can often harm a person’s confidence and make them afraid. They may lose courage to face new challenges. However, life is long, every people make mistake and face mistakes. That is inevitable. The most important point is how to overcome them.
To sum up, the mistakes are wonderful opportunities for children to learn. From that process, they can learn how to overcame themselves and become courageous. They can know what is accurate and how important correct behaviors are. All these things will be meaningful to their whole life.作者: winnie98 时间: 2012-8-16 18:50 批改8.15 独立
Have you ever accepted forgiveness from your parents after making a mistake? Have you ever learned an important principle from your own fault? Have you ever experienced success after many times of failure? There is no doubt that a multitude of people suggest that parents should protect their children from making mistakes, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that parents should allow their children to make mistakes, summarize reasons and learn from them.
To begin with, mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. When we are children, our parents are so patient and gentle to teach us every truth and principle. Making us to grow up smoothly and healthily are(→is) their targets. But sometimes only by feeling the results of mistakes can we know how correct our parents are. Take my brother as a example. Last year, he was so addicted in playing computer games that he even cut classes and told lies to teachers and parents. My mum was very angry and prohibited him from turning on the laptop. She soon found that all bans are useless. He persisted his own ways. Surprisingly, after accepting the awful scores of final exams and experiencing the alienation with his friends, he quitted computer games. Obviously, he realized that his behaviors were wrong. He told me that he learned that addiction to something excessively is(→was) wrong.
Furthermore, allowing children to make mistakes can help them develop “failure tolerance” by(→for,我觉得应该是“为了”) not over-reacting to their mistake. Nowadays, in china, most children as a single child of their family are protected turgidly. They are very sensitive to failure and mistakes. Unfortunately, everyone has to become independent. One day, without protection of their families, they may be feared to face their mistakes. They may be scared and disappointed and even lose their courage. ‘Failure tolerance” is very important for a people to become successful. If Steven Jobs was(→were) passive and down when he was expelled from the “Apple” which is(→was) founded by him, there would not be the wonderful and great creation-iphone.(虚拟语气,如果SJ没有······,就不会有iphone)
Admittedly, mistakes can often harm a person’s confidence and make them afraid. They may lose courage to face new challenges. However, life is long, every people make mistake and face mistakes(平行结果的v.不平行). That is inevitable. The most important point is how to overcome them.
To sum up, the mistakes are wonderful opportunities for children to learn. From that process, they can learn how to overcome themselves and become courageous. They can know what is accurate(精准的,此处不恰当) and how important correct behaviors are. All these things will be meaningful to their whole life.
