还是老毛病,时间不够写,总是觉得很难找理由.其他的什么句式 词汇就更不想说 .10t 呵呵 要看rp 了
81. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Science and technology is a prime theme in the twentieth century. Science help the human being understand more about the origin of universe,life and consciousness. And technology bring a great impact on our traditional life style.In the light of this statement,technology is a double-edged sword.Not only does it improve our living standard,but also makes several new problems such as nuclear blackmail.but in generally, technology has made the world a better place to live.
Like all other great force,technology has this power of destroying a world is undeniable.No one could forget that more than 200,000 people died in Japan in the second world war caused by two nuclear bombs.And still,even more people died because of the polluted environment, which is the by-product of technology.
Despite the fact that there are several disadvantages in technology. there is a widespread testimony that technology impulse the social advancement and has made the world more comfortable to live. For instance, It is cool that stay in the air-condition room in the hot June afternoon. It is miraculous that people could meet clients in London in the morning and have lunch with family in the Roma at noon.Just because of the invention of the plane.
In conclusion, this world is not merely a bad joke and technology is not a vulgar flare amid across the cool radiance of the stars.In spite of some disadvantages, we still could say that technology has made the world a better place to live.
81. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Science and technology is a prime theme in the twentieth century.（开篇第一句就有问题了，应该是peace and development是二十世纪的主旋律吧，而不是science and technology，这种上纲上线的话不能随便编的哦，老外也懂的）Science help（helps）the human being understand more about the origin of universe, life and consciousness.（这里origin连带了universe, life and consciousness三者，我想作者不是这个意思吧；难道科学对人类的帮助重点在于理解origin，我觉得这里对科学下如此的定义，还不如说科学提高了生产力和全人类的福利水平来的好） And technology bring（brings）a great impact on our traditional life style. In the light of this statement, technology is a double-edged sword.（this statement是说技术好的一面，用in the light of显然是因果的关系，怎么就忽然话锋一转变成双刃剑了呢？）Not only does it improve our living standard, but also makes several new problems such as nuclear blackmail. But in generally, technology has made the world a better place to live.
Like all other great force, technology has this power of destroying a world is undeniable. No one could forget that more than 200,000 people died in
不得了，一个强反对论述段，整段都在反对第一段的technology has made the world a better place to live的中心。虽说有理，但是这就像辩论一样，既然我们是正方，我们怎么能“我方完全同意对方辩友的观点”？
而且结构上如何说起，突兀。建议，把这部分精简放到总结段之前来个让步。
Despite the fact that there are several disadvantages in technology, there is a widespread testimony (用不可数名词evidence就比用testimony好)that technology impulse the social advancement and has made the world more comfortable to live. （benefiting from the powerful driving of technology, the world is becoming more and more comfortable to live）For instance, It is cool that stay in the air-condition room in the hot June afternoon. (口语化了，even though it is very hot outside, people can still feel delightfully cool inside with the help of air-condition.) It is miraculous that people could meet clients in London in the morning and have lunch with family in the（把the 去掉） Roma at noon, just because of the invention of the plane.
In conclusion, this world is not merely a bad joke and technology is not a vulgar flare amid across the cool radiance of the stars. In spite of some disadvantages, we still could say that technology has made the world a better place to live.
这一段所说与上文无法很好衔接，不能很好的起到总结点题的作用。
对于这位朋友，我想，首先要把作文的框架明晰了。每一段都干什么，托福作文还是比较八股的。段与段之间环环相扣，不会如你这样的大起大落。分论点过后有论据支撑。
同时我看得出，你的作文有不少quote。广泛的阅读和摘录是可贵的，我们也要针对具体的题目来整合和修改以配合全文的论证。关键还在花时间，自己要多写。
先看看范文，模仿的写吧。
1.托福的作文就是英文的“八股”，有套路，所以模板用得上
2.词汇和固定短语要识记，主要是3类:
～环境的，经济的，社会进步等题目经常涉及的名词或者名词短语；
～表示程度等的形容词和能够恰当修饰动词的副词；
～起承转合作用的连接词和短语
3.在正确，易懂的基础上，力求句型的变化多端，插入语，从句，倒装，虚拟等
4.看清题目要求写什么，有比较的，要写出两者的不同，不要只说你支持的
5.不同的reason不要糅合到一块去，每段中心要明确，且reason段落，要用英文写作的方式，开门见山的在段落开头指出；既然要成段，那么你所选择的reason一定要能扩展，也就是有东西好写，不要为赋新辞强说愁；所以虽然一个论点你可能有N个理由，但那些很有道理，但是你用英文无法表达清楚的，就不用写了，这不是上万字的论文
6.reason一出就要有example，两三个case足以,并且事例逻辑上能够支持原因
7.整篇文章不要出现第二人称you，your，这是enjoylife等前辈的指点（指点了pumpkin，然后她又“数落”我的），多用people；你想，you就是阅卷人，你凭什么张口就用人家的书面语言教导人家呢？
8.个人的观点:尽可能的避免单独使用he/she，考虑到性别歧视问题。但是，如果你要顶字数的话，也请用 he or she
9.口语化是初级者的大问题之一，写作文的时候往往是先想中文改怎么说，然后做个翻译工作；本来对非母语就很能驾驭，这样一来，说大白话，就直接导致句式的单一；所以还是要看看真题阅读文章的文法
具体考试的时候作文应该怎么写，时间怎么分配，我没有发言权～
文章的套路，我推荐“五段锦”～
第一段，对题目改写，再用模板的套话扯一下，常用的手法是正反一提
第二段，最大的reason，事例论据支持
第三段，次大的reason，事例论据支持
第四段，一个小的reason，外加一个不碍大事的however的对立
第五段，对各段reason改写总结，也可以再加展望，但是不要号召
kuikui is saying，"首先要把作文的框架明晰了。每一段都干什么，托福作文还是比较八股的。段与段之间环环相扣，不会如你这样的大起大落。分论点过后有论据支撑."
it is rrrreally important.
谢谢各位 的提醒.
我要努力 努力,继续奋斗
这是我的修改稿,参考了几个模板 和范文.再麻烦斑竹 和大侠们了! 大家国庆快乐!
With the development of technology, there have been a lot of changes to our life. Admittedly, some of them are bad., causing environment or social problems. However, most of these changes contribute to making our life more convenient, more comfortable and more wonderful.
First of all, Due to the development of internet, people could enjoy more convenient than ever. For example, people who with access to a computer and a LAN connection could unlock door and trawl through its offering. What is more, people could contribute and share knowledge through networked communicated system with others in any part of the world.
Secondly, technology makes people’s life more comfortable,. Because of the air-condition, people would never suffer the extremely hot and cold temperature. By using the plane, people could meet clients in the morning and have lunch with family at noon in Roma.
In addition, technology makes people’s life more wonderful. Helping with the spacecraft, people could arrive the moon, which is a dream rooted in the human being in thousand years.
Of course, technology has created some new problems, No one could forget more than 200,000 people died in Japan in the second world war, which is merely because of two nuclear bombs.
Despite the fact that technology has several disadvantages, In generally, its advantages are far more outweigh. In the light of this statement. We could conclude that technology has made the world a better place to live.
这是我的修改稿,参考了几个模板 和范文.再麻烦斑竹 和大侠们了! 大家国庆快乐!
With the development of technology, there have been a lot of changes to our life. Admittedly, some of them are bad.have negative effects, causing environment or social problems. However, most of these changes contribute to making our life more convenient, more comfortable and more wonderful.
First of all, Due to the development of internet, people could can enjoy more convenient services more than ever. For example, people who with access to a computer and a LAN connection could can unlock door and trawl through its offering.(I cannot understand) What is more , furthermore, people could contribute and can share knowledge and communicate each other in any part of the world through this networked communicated system with others in any part of the world.
Secondly, technology makes people’s life more comfortable,. Because of the air-condition, people would never suffer from the extremely hot and cold temperature. By taking using the a plane, people could meet clients in the morning and have lunch with family at noon in Roma.
In addition, technology makes people’s life more wonderful. Helping with the spacecraft, people could arrive the moon, and which is a the dream rooted in the human being in thousand years came true.
Of course, technology has created some new problems(.), No one could forget more than 200,000 people died in Japan in the second world war, which is merelyattributing to because of two nuclear bombs explosion.
Despite the fact that technology has several disadvantages, In generally, its advantages are far more outweigh. In the light of this statement. We could conclude that technology has made the world a better place to live.
lingchen33,
good job. a lot of improvement. the organization is clear and logical.
keep practicing.
guandream
| 欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/) | Powered by Discuz! X3.3 |