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作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-10 20:00
标题: 作文求助~
5月10日11.8.20 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees

What we have been debating here will affect the success of a company in a competitive society. This debate over efficiency of employees is about more than just management of a firm. It is about a method that we want to operate a company. And I claim that improvement of the proficiency of it's employees is the most vital consideration in investment. That is what I want to spend time talking about.

To begin with, employees, as the core of a company, play an indispensible role in the operation of a company. Without high efficiency of them, the whole company cannot survive from the competition with other opponents. To give you an idea of how much harm caused to a company, consider this: a recent survey reveals that compare with the company equipped with high proficiency employees, their counterparts yield less in profit. According to this, we can safely draw the conclusion that high efficiency is necessary for a company.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage--impetus for better work performance. Investment in the increasing of the employees’ proficiency will not only benefits the company as a whole but also the situation between employees themselves. I want to thank my boss ,who always put high emphasis on the efficiency of workers ,which improves my working capability. Consequently, I got promotion because of my excellent working efficiency. Hardly can we gain this in a low efficiency system.

Nevertheless, there are those who believe we should invest more in other aspects such as the condition of office, out of fear that any overlooking of them will gradually usher in losing of talents in a firm. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The high efficiency increases the avenue which can provide more money for other aspect of a company. It is the answer spoken by managements or leaders, the people who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Economical Department of Peking University, all of these concluded the same result that high efficiency is important.

For all reasons listed, it is time to end investment huge money in the hardware that rarely brings benefits and doulbt down on the proficiency of employees that never has been more successful. High proficiency that leads to a champion company, high efficiency that inspires employees, high efficiency that earns more money. Building a high proficiency system is part of what made a company superpower
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-13 16:39
tpo14. 5.13综合写作


The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the reading passage that the salvage logging should be used to remove the remains of the dead trees which does good to the damaged forest and the economy. In the professor's opinion, it will cause longer environmental problems and bring less benefits.

The lecture contradicts the first point in the reading that salvage logging makes room for fresh growth and help the recovery of the forest. She contends that It is not a good way to afford a good condition for the fresh trees, since decompose of the dead trees makes the soil more suitable for the fresh growth. Removing it will decrease the nutrition of the soil.

The speaker goes on to disagree the claim of the author that salvage logging helps minimize the danger of insect infestation and contributes to the health of the forest. On the contrary,she argues that not all insects are harmful to the forest,some like birds and insects also contribute a lot to the health of the forest.Removing the dead trees may cause more harm than insects.

Finally,the professor challenges the final point of the material that salvage logging brings economic benefits.She reminds us that we use expensive machines like helicopter to remove the dead trees which even trigger more fees to maintain.Moreover,we also have to provide salary for the temporary job.Because we are likely to train these people from outside rather than local .
作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤    时间: 2012-5-13 18:10
What we have been debating here will affect the success of a company in a competitive society. This debate over efficiency of employees is about more than just management of a firm.(首先,第二句话结构错误,谓语动词is在这充当主句的谓语动词路基上不成立;其次,这两句话开头显得很啰嗦累赘,不妨缩成一个复合句,比如:The hearted debate, whether efficiency of employees is about more than just management of a firm, are now affecting the success of a company in a competitive society. )It is about a method that we want to operate a company(这儿你想表达什么意思?我觉得你的想法是:it should be thought deeply about before operateing a company). And I claim that improvement of the proficiency of it's(its) employees is the most vital consideration in investment. That is what I want to spend time talking about.

To begin with, employees, as the core of a company, playan indispensible(indispensable) role in the operation of a company. Without high efficiency of them, the whole company cannot survive from the competition with other opponents. To give you an idea of how much harm caused to a company, consider this: (首先,这句话太口语了;其次,这句话太chiglish,how much harm,那么到底是什么导致的harm呢?这些都没说,导致看起来很不能理解。所以索性去掉它)a recent survey reveals that compare with the company equipped with high proficiency employees, their(这儿their指什么?语法上只能指代employees') counterparts yield less in profit. According to this, we can safely draw the conclusion that high efficiency is necessary for a company.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage--impetus for better work performance. Investment in theincreasing of the employees’ proficiency will not only benefits(benefit not only,首先will后面用动词原形,其次not only but also结构要对称) the company as a whole but also the situation between employees themselves. I want to thank my boss ,who always put high emphasis on the efficiency of workers ,which(此处which用法不太好,因为这儿which你要指代的东西在前面的宾语从句里面) improves my working capability. Consequently, I got promotion because of my excellent working efficiency. Hardly can we gain this in a low efficiency system.

Nevertheless, there are those(怪怪的,用there are still some people) who believe we should invest more in other aspects such as the condition of office, out of fear that any overlooking of them(them指代什么?) will gradually usher in losing of talents in a firm. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The high efficiency increases the avenue which can provide more money for other aspects of a company. It is the answer spoken by managements or leaders, the people who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Economical Department of Peking University, and all of these concluded the same result that high efficiency is important.

For all reasons listed, it is time to end investment(investing) huge money in the hardware that rarely brings benefits and doulbts down on the proficiency of employees that never has been more successful(that在这儿用来解释什么?语法上是解释employees). High proficiency that leads to a champion company, high efficiency that inspires employees, high efficiency that earns more money.(句子的并列连接只能用连词或者分号) Building a high proficiency system is a part of what made a company superpower

总的来说文章还行,但是很多地方存在比较严重的语法错误,尤其是从句的使用,希望多加以注意!一些句子的表达也比较的生硬,我觉得还需要多练练哈~~~
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-14 16:28
5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.

From America to China, honesty among friends becomes a major concern. Whether people are encouraged by the increasing of the moral standard or demand of seeking truth, they prefer to be completely honest with their friends.And I claim that completely honest is necessary.

To begin with,honesty is a law of conduct in the social life. Anyone disobey it may trigger some problems like lacking friends.To give you an idea of how much damage the shortage of honesty caused to a friendship,consider this:a recent survey reveals that compare to those who are not completely honest to theri friends,their counterparts have more friends and less trouble in social interaction. It is completely honest that enable one make friends with ease.

Surely,there has always been another remarkable advantage--improvement of the friendship.I want to thank my best friend Mary.She pointed out a big mistake in my essay,thus  avoiding an embarrassing situation. Consequently, I have received an excellent grade in the final exam.After that,we help each other in the study and become more intimate than ever before.Hardly can a relationship go further under dishonest status.

Finally,there are still someone who believe we should not completely honest ,out of fear that completely honest will gradually usher in a collapse of a friendship since some words may hurt the opposite.But I will not walk away from my viewpoint.There is an old Chinese saying goes ,you never can hide a secret.It is better for us to tell the truth rather than hide it.It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life,all of these concluded the same result that completely honest is crucial.

For all the reasons listed,it is time to end lying that rarely brings trust and double down on the completely honest that never has been more needed in modern society.Completely honest that attracts more friends;completely honest that inspires closer relationship; completely honest that reveals the truth.Completely honest is part of what made a relationship unshakeable.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-14 18:21
TPO15 综合
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the passage about the methods to stop the spread of the cane toad.In the professor's opinion,these ways of eliminating are not success and will have negative impact on the environment.

The speaker contradicts the first point in the passage that building a national fence helps to prevent the spread of the toad.She contends that some young toad and toad eggs in the stream or lack will flow with the water to other side of the fence.So these toad can establish population in other side of the fence,which means this method does not work.

The listening material goes on to opposite the viewpoint of the author that the toads could be captured and destroyed by volunteers.She argues that these untrained volunteers can not take part the native frogs from the toads which leads to a huge destroy of these extinct native frogs.

Finally,the professor challenges the last viewpoint in the passage that a kind of disease-causing virus can control the can toad population.She remainds us that this method damage the original habitat of the king toad.In Austrilia some organs are transported to other continent. These infected toad will affect native king toad and destroy its population.And king toad plays an important role in the ecosystem. So ,this method may cause some bad problem.
作者: 晨依Jacqueline    时间: 2012-5-14 23:51
513综合修改
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the reading passage that the salvage logging should be used to remove the remains of the dead trees which does good to the damaged forest and the economy. In the professor's opinion, it(感觉指代不明)will cause longer environmental problems and bring less benefits.

The lecture contradicts the first point in the reading that salvage logging makes room for fresh growth and help the recovery of the forest. She contends that It(it)is not a good way to afford a good condition for the fresh trees, since decompose of the dead trees makes(made) the soil more suitable for the fresh growth. (感觉如果中间能加个连接词就更好了)Removing it will decrease the nutrition of the soil.

The speaker goes on to disagree(on/with) the claim of the author that salvage logging helps minimize(minimizing?)the danger of insect infestation and contributes to the health of the forest. On the contrary,she argues that not all insects are harmful to the forest,(这是另外一个句子了,断句,或者because....)some like birds and insects also contribute a lot to the health of the forest.(建议这里加一个She further states that...)Removing the dead trees may cause more harm than insects.

Finally,the professor challenges the final point of the material that salvage logging brings economic benefits.She reminds us that we use expensive machines like helicopter to remove the dead trees which even trigger more fees to maintain.Moreover,we also have to provide salary for the temporary job.Because(because) we are likely to train these people from outside rather than local . (建议少用we这种词,因为综合写作不需要表达个人观点,应该写得更客观一些,尽量用第三人称写。)



整体写得很不错啦、句子很流畅,用词也很棒~注意下逗号后面和下一个词中间应该有个小空格吧、倒不是大问题~~继续加油了!

作者: sang824    时间: 2012-5-15 10:37
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the passage about the methods to stop the spread of the cane toad.In the professor's opinion,these ways of eliminating are not success and will have negative impact on the environment. 开头简洁,好

The speaker contradicts the first point in the passage that building a national fence helps to prevent the spread of the toad.She contends that some young toad and toad eggs in the stream or lack will flow with the water to other side of the fence.So these toads can establish population in other side of the fence,which means this method does not work.

The listening material goes on to opposite the viewpoint of the author that the toads could be captured and destroyed by volunteers.She argues that these untrained volunteers can not take part the native frogs from the toads which leads to a huge destroy of these extinct native frogs. 这个which用在这里不对,要么逗号隔开,要么直接leaing好了

Finally,the professor challenges the last viewpoint in the passage that a kind of disease-causing virus can control the can toad population.She remainds us that this method damages the original habitat of the king toad.In Austrilia some organs are transported to other continent. These infected toads will affect native king toad and destroy its population.And king toad plays an important role in the ecosystem. So ,this method may cause some bad problem.最后一段都是单句,觉得可以用用连词,不过综合写作不知道要求有没有这么高了哈



总体来说很不错,语言简洁结构清晰,听力也很完整
注意一下小错误就ok啦~

作者: rocer    时间: 2012-5-15 13:16
From America to China
, honesty among friends becomes a major concern. Whether people are encouraged by the increasing of the moral standard or demand of seeking truth, they prefer to be completely honest with their friends. And I claim that completely honest is necessary.

To begin with,honesty is a law of conduct in the social life. Anyone disobey it (Anyone who disobey it) may trigger some problems like lacking friends. To give you an idea of how much damage the shortage of honesty caused to a friendship, consider this :a recent survey reveals that compare to those who are not completely honest to theri friends, their counterparts have more friends and less trouble in social interaction. It is completely honest that enable one make friends with ease.
例子觉得很不错,过渡的也不错。
Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage--improvement of the friendship.I want to thank my best friend Mary. She pointed out a big mistake in my essay, thus avoiding an embarrassing situation. Consequently, I have received an excellent grade in the final exam.After that,we help each other in the study and become more intimate than ever before.
Hardly can a relationship go further under dishonest status.
(感觉第一个理由和第二个理由意思上有点重合)
Finally,there are still someone who believe we should not completely honest ,out of fear that completely honest will gradually
usher in a collapse of a friendship since some words may hurt the opposite. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint.There is an old Chinese saying goes ,you never can hide a secret.It is better for us to tell the truth rather than hide it.It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life,(句式略微单一)all of these concluded the same result that completely honest is crucial.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end lying that rarely brings trust and double down on the completely honest that never has been more needed in modern society. Completely honest that attracts more friends;completely honest that inspires closer relationship; completely honest that reveals the truth.Completely honest is part of what made a relationship unshakeable.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-16 15:06
The lecture completely rejects the concern presented in the passage about the decling of the birds' population because of the human activities.In the professor's opinion, the arguments in the reading are unconvencing.

The professor contradicts the first point in the material that birds' natural habitats will shrinking due to the expanding human populations and  settelements.She contends that because of the development of the urban,other kinds of birds is increasing such as seaguls and hocks.Some residents in urban even complain about the disturbing of the birds.

The speaker goes on to opposite the claim of the athor that the growth of agriculture will also deprive the  birds' habitats.On the contrary,she argues that nowadays people begin to use less and less lands for agriculture since the productivity of the crops have been improved ,which afford enough food for human beings and we no longer call for these areas.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the passage that the usage of chemical pesticides will do harm to the birds since they eat these poisoned insects.She reminds us that,the traditional pesticides will be abandoned because people start to realize the negetive consequence.So there are two changes now,first people now start to apply new and less toxic pesticides.Moreover there is a trend for pestside resident crops.All these reasons are good news for protecting birds.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-16 20:19
8月14日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place


With abundant of cutting-edge technologies emerge every minute and every second, some people assert with full confidence that we have finished all the improvement to raise people's living standard. I, on the contrary, think that we still have long way to go to accomplish all the significant breakthrough in human history, although we enjoy advanced technology.



On one hand, the environmental problems still pose a huge threat to human beings' life and should be settled immediately. Science and technology bring us great convenience in our daily life, meanwhile, they also have negative impact on the environment. Car emission polluted fresh air and chemical substances contaminated clean lacks. People nowadays are more likely to suffer from diseases such as lung cancer caused by environmental pollution. Under this circumstance, many countries in the world start to set up policies and laws to deal with these problems. But the result is so tiny that the environment is still worsening. Obviously, people still have a lot of work to do in tackling the environmental issues.



On the other hand, population explosion also should be putted on the to-do list. As the population increasing at an alarming rate, resources become exhausted and various conflicts are around corner. A latest study found in China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 75% of the developing countries feel overwhelming when facing exceed population, especially in the poverty-stricken areas. It lowers the living standard of people and education quality, which are the obstacle for a country to step forward. It is the population issues that need our attention.



Nevertheless, hardly can every people reach to a consensus. Some people argue that in majority of countries world wide, people live in a prosperity life and have achieved a high quality of life, so we can say that the improvements have already taken place. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Only when all people in the earth can enjoy same level life can we say we have finished our task.



For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud continuing progress in our life instead of contenting the current situation. What the endeavor we do will benefit not only ourselves but also the next generation.
作者: 包子不包子    时间: 2012-5-17 10:54
What we have been debating here will affect the role of the young people in the decision-making of a society.Whether they should take such a crucial responsibility and burden with the future of our life?This debate is more than that.It  is also about the young people themselves.Contrary to the statement in the title,I claim that the youth have great impact on the future of a society.

To start with,young people always have countless new ideas,since they have received most sophisticated 换成up-to-date更恰当一些吧education nowadays.To give you an idea of how much benefit this kind of education caused produces?to the modern society,consider this: a recent survey reveals revealed? that compare to the people of last generation ,their counterparts have more creations and devices,不能用这个噢噢such as smart phone and computer,which helps human being enjoy a better life in the future.It is the youth thatwho make our life more colourful.

device[d??va?s]n1. (Engineering / Tools) a machine or tool used for a specific task; contrivance
2. (Military / Firearms, Gunnery, Ordnance & Artillery) Euphemistic a bomb
3. a plan or plot, esp a clever or evil one; scheme; trick
4. (Fine Arts & Visual Arts / Art Terms) (Clothing, Personal Arts & Crafts / Knitting & Sewing) any ornamental pattern or picture, as in embroidery
5. (Electronics & Computer Science / Computer Science) computer hardware that is designed for a specific function
6. (History / Heraldry) a written, printed, or painted design or figure, used as a heraldic sign, emblem, trademark, etc.
7. (Literary & Literary Critical Terms) a particular pattern of words, figures of speech, etc., used in literature to produce an effect on the reader
8.Archaic the act or process of planning or devising


Surely ,there has always been another advantage of young people--more energy and inspiration.I want to thank Jobs Steven 顺序 反了啊,who establishestablishedthe Apple in his young age.His legendary has been repeated again and again.He quitted the bachelor’s degree and devoted himself to the new-born company with whole spirit full energy 感觉更好一些.Also the movie of Facebook tells us a story about a young man's enthusiastic about the social network website.They create a brand new world for us and make our life more convenience than ever befor.Hardly can we imagine the old to do such creations.

Nevertheless, there are still someone who believe that the old should have more influence since they have more experience,out of fear that any decision made by young people may usher in a totally mass in the society.But I will not walk away from my viewpoint.Although lacking experience seems to be a weak point,the creativity cannot be found in the old.Young people are less likely to repeat the conventional routine.It is said by people from all walks of life,who send a message to the questionnaire conducted by Peking University,all these concluded the same result that young people have more effect on the decision-making process. 这段好哎~措辞连贯性都很好 学习学习

For all the reasons listed,it is time to end the out of fashion decision which rarely brings benefits and doubledoubts? down on the young decision makers that never has been more appealing.The youth who own more new ideas; the youth who are more energetic;the youth who are brave.Young people is part of what made our county superpower这是什么意思啊 没看懂哎.

总的来说 没什么大问题 语言和逻辑性越到后半部分表现得越好哦
可能刚开始还不大适应吧
首段可以在润色一下
作者: sang824    时间: 2012-5-17 12:23
The lecture completely rejects the concern presented in the passage about thedecling decline of the birds' population because of the human activities.In the professor's opinion, the arguments in the reading are unconvencing.

The professor contradicts the first point in the material that birds' natural habitats will shrinking due to the expanding human populations and  settelements.She contends that because of the development of the urban area,other kinds of birds is are increasing such as seaguls and hocks.Some residents in urban even complain about the disturbing of the birds.

The speaker goes on to opposite oppose the claim of the athor that the growth of agriculture will also deprive the  birds' habitats.On the contrary,she argues that nowadays people begin to use less and less lands for agriculture since the productivity of the crops have been improved ,which afford enough food for human beings and we no longer call for these areas.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the passage that the usage of chemical pesticides will do harm to the birds since they eat these poisoned insects.She reminds us that,the traditional pesticides will be abandoned because people start to realize the negetive consequence.So there are two changes now,first people now start to apply new and less toxic pesticides.Moreover there is a trend for pestside resident resistantcrops.All these reasons are good news for protecting birds.

没什么大问题,听得很准
敢问LZ是听为主还是一直记笔记呢?自己每次都听不准。。

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-17 15:39
The lecture completely rejects the concern presented in the passage about thedecling decline of the birds' population because of the human activities.In the professor's opinion, the arguments in the reading are unconvencing.

The professor contradicts the first point in the material that birds' natural habitats will shrinking due to the expanding human populations and  settelements.She contends that because of the development of the urban area,other kinds of birds is are increasing such as seaguls and hocks.Some residents in urban even complain about the disturbing of the birds.

The speaker goes on to opposite oppose the claim of the athor that the growth of agriculture will also deprive the  birds' habitats.On the contrary,she argues that nowadays people begin to use less and less lands for agriculture since the productivity of the crops have been improved ,which afford enough food for human beings and we no longer call for these areas.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the passage that the usage of chemical pesticides will do harm to the birds since they eat these poisoned insects.She reminds us that,the traditional pesticides will be abandoned because people start to realize the negetive consequence.So there are two changes now,first people now start to apply new and less toxic pesticides.Moreover there is a trend for pestside resident resistantcrops.All these reasons are good news for protecting birds.

没什么大问题,听得很准
敢问LZ是听为主还是一直记笔记呢?自己每次都听不准。。
-- by 会员 sang824 (2012/5/17 12:23:57)


记关键词,用各种符号表示关键词之间的关系,这个主要还是依靠听力的,你听力练好了,这个基本就没什么问题了
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-18 19:13
The listening is completely rejects the idea presented in the passage about the controversy of the buzzing.On the other hand,the speaker,who is a cellphone buzzer, stands out to support the advantages of the buzzers.

To start with,the speaker casts doubt on the point in the material that buzzers are paid for what they are saying which makes them untrustful.The speaker contends that  in fact the buzzers praise a product just because he has used it and it is really good.This is quite different with ordinary advertisements or lying,since it is truth.

The cellphone buzzer goes on to contridicts the claim of the author that the buzzers' endorements makes the consumers less critically.He argues that  people often ask many questions about the products ,service and other matters concerned.It is good for the consumers to answer questions to those who have used a certain products.

Finally,the listening opposes the last point in the passage that buzzers have negetive impact on social relationships.He reminds us that manufactors always prefer to recruit people who have experience of the products to make sure their words trustful and open to consumers.
作者: 包子不包子    时间: 2012-5-19 11:40
The listening is completely rejectsrejecting the idea presented in the passage about the controversy of the buzzing.On the other hand,the speaker,who is a cellphone buzzer, stands out to support the advantages也不能直接说是好处吧 还是反驳的好 of the buzzers.

To start with,the speaker casts doubt on the point in the material that buzzers are paid for what they are saying which makes them untrustful.The speaker contends that in fact the buzzers praise a product just because he has they haveused it and it is really good.This is quite different with ordinary advertisements or lying,since it is the truth.

The cellphone buzzer goes on to contridicts the claim of the author that the buzzers' endorements makes the consumers less critically.He argues that people often ask many questions about the products ,service and other matters concerned.It is good for the consumers to answer questions to those who have used a certain products.加一句话总结吧

Finally,the listening opposes the last point in the passage that buzzers have negetive impact on social relationships.He reminds us that manufactors always prefer to recruit people who have experience of the products to make sure their words trustful and open to consumers. 这段的听力内容不够详细哎

没有总结段么?

to lxc
没有写总结段么? 最后一点的听力注意一下哟 其他都蛮好 蛮好

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-20 11:50
TPO21 综合

The listening completely rejects the idea presented in the passage about the benefits the genetically modified trees can bring.In the professor's opinion, these trees may trigger some serious problems.

The talk contradicts the first point in the reading that the genetic modified trees are more likely to survive than the unmodified trees.On the contrary,the speaker contends that since the genetically modified trees are uniform ,they have rare chance to survive when they face the challenge they are not designed to.However,the natural trees can deal with different conditions.

The lecture goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the genetically modified trees can bring  economical  profit to those who grow them.She suggests that ,in fact these kind of trees will cause more cost.Because the trees will charge the tree farmers more.Collecting tree seeds and plating trees all need fees for tree company.

Finally,the listening challeges the last viewpoint in the material that the genetically modified trees prevent overexploitation of wild trees.She reminds us that these trees grow aggressively.They  always planted among the natural trees and they compete the natrual trees for more energy like water and sun light.Consequently,the natural trees will be crowded out.All these may lead to more harmness.
作者: 包子不包子    时间: 2012-5-21 08:55
The listening completely rejects the idea presented in the passage about the benefits of the genetically modified trees can bring.In the professor's opinion, these trees may trigger some serious problems.

The talk contradicts the first point in the reading that the genetically modified trees are more likely to survive than the unmodified trees.On the contrary,the speaker contends that since the genetically modified trees are uniform ,they have rare chance to survive when they face the challenge they are not designed to换个说法吧 这个感觉怪怪的.However,the natural trees can deal with different conditions.

The lecture goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the genetically modified trees can bring economical profit to those who grow them.She suggests that ,in fact,  thesethis? kind of trees will cause more cost.Because the trees will charge the tree farmers more.Collecting tree seeds and plating trees all need fees for tree company.换成被动吧 地道一些

Finally,the listening challeges the last viewpoint in the material that the genetically modified trees prevent overexploitation of wild trees.She reminds us that these trees grow aggressively.They are always planted among the natural trees and they compete the natrual trees for more energy resources like water and sun light.Consequently,the natural trees will be crowded out.All these may lead to more harmness.

to lxc
还是没有写总结段啊 尽量写吧
有些句式要注意呦~其他都蛮好
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-22 14:13
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Food in the past was much healtier than today?

Facing the advanced technology,the emerging different kinds of creativities and keep up with the accelerating pace of life,people nowadays are enabled with many options of food.However,do we really have more healthier food? I would like to say no, on the contrary, the quality of food now is decline.

The excessive addiction of the processed food such as too much sugar and edible pigment tops the list of harmness.To give you an idea about how much damage these addictive caused to the kids,consider this :a recent survey reveals that 30% of the teenages in China have health problems like diabetes and obesity,which is two times as much as their counterparts in the last decade.The early-maturing issue becomes a major concern for parents.It is the food in modern time that undermine the health condition of children.

Unhealthy cook style also emerged as a remarkable weak point.Since people have too much work to handle every day,they own less and less time to prepare for food.As a result,they resort to fast food resturant.People should blame the fast food chain stores like KFC and Pizza hut for spreading the wrong notion of instant food.French fries contain too much calorie; hamburger lacks vegetables we needed in daily life;also the beverage do harm to our teeth.Hardly can we gain the nutrition we demand in normal life from these fast food.

Nevertheless there are still someone believe that we enjoy more healthier food now since the supervise system is more sophisticated than ever before .But I will not walk away from my viewpoint.To be honest,in order to make more profit and spend less cost, some of the food manufactures begin to use low level standard rather than high level one.They take more benefit as the prority.Only through cooperation of government and enterprises can we have a bright future.It is said by people from all walks of life,who sent a message to the questionnaire by Peking University,these concluded the same result that people worry about the food.

For all the reason listed,it is time to end the situation about the unhealthier food which brings rarely benefit to people and double down on the pursuit of more healthier food that never has been more promising.The quantity of food addictive should be slashed,the way of cooking should be improved and the supervision should be enhanced.Healthier food is one of the indispensible parts in our life.
作者: 包子不包子    时间: 2012-5-22 19:17
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Food in the past was much healtier than today?

Facing the advanced technology,the emerging of different kinds of creativities and keeping up with the accelerating pace of life,people nowadays are enabled with many options of food.However,do we really have more healthier food? I would like to say no, on the contrary, the quality of food now is decline declining.

The excessive addiction of the processed food such as too much sugar and edible pigment tops the list of harmness.To give you an idea about how much damage these addictive caused to 怪怪的 the kids,consider this :a recent survey reveals that 30% of the teenages in China have health problems like diabetes and obesity,which is two times as much as their counterparts in the last decade.The early-maturing issue becomes a major concern for parents.It is the food in modern time that undermine the health condition of children.

Unhealthy cook style also emerged as a remarkable weak point.Since people have too much work to handle every day,they own less and less time to prepare for food.As a result,they resort to fast food resturant.People should blame 改成被动吧 the fast food chain stores like KFC and Pizza hut for spreading the wrong notion of instant food.French fries contain too much calorie; hamburger lacks vegetables we needed in daily life;also the beverage do does harm to our teeth.Hardly can we gain the nutrition we the body demand in normal life from these fast food.

Nevertheless there are still someone believe that we enjoy more healthier food now since the supervise system is more sophisticated than ever before .But I will not walk away from my viewpoint.To be honest,in order to make more profit and spend less cost, some of the food manufactures begin to use low level standard rather than high level one.They take more benefit as the prority.Only through cooperation of government and enterprises can we have a bright future.It is said by people from all walks of life,who sent a message to the questionnaire by Peking University,these concluded the same result that people worry about the food.

For all the reasons listed,it is time to end the situation about the unhealthier food which brings rarely benefit to people and double down on the pursuit of more healthier food that never has been more promising.The quantity of food addictive should be slashed,the way of cooking should be improved and the supervision should be enhanced.Healthier food is one of the indispensible parts in our life. 不用提意见吧 只要说明是现在还是以前的食物健康就好了 最后一句话没有扣题呀 不可分离的部分?


To lxc
语言结构没有大问题
让步段写的有些多了 比例证的段落长
最够一段总结没有扣题呀

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-22 20:19
The lecture completely rejects the idea shows in the passage about the explain of the decreasing of the yellow cedar.In the professor's opinion,the reasons are still unknown and none of the reasons mentioned in the passage is adequate.

The speaker contradicts the first point in the passage that the declining is caused by insect parasites.On the contrary,he contends that ,in fact,yellow cedar is more resistant to insects rather than other kind of trees.For example, the bark and leaf of the yellow cedar can produce some chemical material which is toxic to insects.

The lecture goes on to oppose the claim of the author that  the brown bears' aggressive feeding habits leads to the decreasing of this trees.He argues that in the areas without bears like some islands of North America,the population of yellow cedar is also diminishing.So the bears are not responsible for the issue.

Finally,the professor continues to challenges the last point in the material that the decreasing is the result of climate change.He reminds us that they forgot to take the real situation into consideration.In general,if the climate made the trees more sensitive,the number of them should decrease in some higher,freezing area since it is cold.However,the trees in the lower,warmer elevation are also decrease.
作者: hysx1988    时间: 2012-5-23 18:27
The lecture completely rejects the idea shows(应该为被动语态吧,shown) in the passage about the explain(explanation,explain很少用作名词,听力中用的也是explanation) of the decreasing of the yellow cedar.In the professor's opinion,the reasons are still unknown and none of the reasons mentioned in the passage is adequate.(这里总结得很好呢,逻辑严密且用的都是听力中的词汇,学习)


The speaker contradicts the first point in the passage that the declining is caused by insect parasites.On the contrary,he contends that ,in fact,yellow cedar is more resistant to insects rather than other kind(应该是kinds更合适吧) of trees.For example, the bark and leaf of the yellow cedar can produce some chemical material which is toxic to insects.


The lecture goes on to oppose the claim of the author that  the brown bears' aggressive feeding habits leads to the decreasing of this trees.He argues that in the areas without bears like some islands of North America,the population of yellow cedar is also diminishing.So the bears are not responsible for the issue.


Finally,the professor continues to challenges(语法错误,去掉s) the last point in the material that the decreasing is the result of climate change.He reminds us that they forgot to take the real situation into consideration.In general,if the climate made the trees more sensitive,the number of them should decrease in some higher,freezing(语法错误,中间应该加and而且直接high和freeze并列不太合适,听力中只是说high导致冬天的晚上会结冰,两个字简单并列修饰area的意思是这个区域一直是freeze进行时) area since it is cold.However,the trees in the lower,warmer elevation are also decrease.(这段逻辑上是稍微有点问题的,原文的意思是如果阅读的文章的理论成立,那么高海拔低温地区树死得更多,但是事实上,低海拔高温地区死得更多,所以段中最后一句also decrease力度是不够的,因为也减少并未与高海拔地区作比较,也没有否认了IF所引导的从句,应该有多少的比较)
1、    在英文写作中,标点后面是必须空一格哦,文章中标点后都没有空格,不知道ETS是否会扣分。但是这是英文写作的规则;
2、    总体很不错哦,结构严谨,听力也内容也表达得准确完整,但是还有一些词汇问题要注意一下,个人认为第四段稍有点问题。
PS: 偶也是第一次帮人改哦,水平不济,多多包涵。:

作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-5-24 15:44
lxc,没有看到独立哦?
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-24 16:35
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Facing convenience traffic system, improved infrastructure conditions and easy access to a wide range of products, people nowadays are more likely to take care of their families in urban area. However, is the life in cities can bring a promising future? And I claim that , on the contrary, it is better for people to take care of their families in the countryside.

More leisure time tops the list of expediencies. The life pace in the countryside is not as fast as city's, which enables the people there more leisure time to accompany with their family members. To give you an idea of how much benefit the more time caused to a family, consider this: a recent survey made by China Daily reveals that compare to the family members live in the city, their counterparts in the countryside feel more pleasure and satisfied with their life, since they spend more time together. It is the relax suburb life that made a family harmonious.

Closer social relationship also emerged as a remarkable advantage. I want to thank my dear mother, who brought me to the countryside when I was ten years old. Since then, I have made many friends in the elementary school. We still communicate with each other from time to time. The social life in the countryside has never complex than that in the city, which are favored by many people. It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Peking University, all of these concluded the same result that family members in the countryside can receive better life.

Nevertheless, there are still someone who believe that family members should be taken care in urban, out of fear that the less-developed infrastructure in the rural will usher in any inconvenience. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. People in the cities are more incline to suffer from lung cancer because of the car emission. More recently, the issue of polluted air and contaminated drinking water pose a huge threat to people's health condition. Hardly can we imagine the family members enjoy life in the cities.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end taking care of the family members in cities that rarely brings benefits and double down on the countryside life that never has been more appealing. Taking care of the family in countryside is part of what made our family members happier.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-24 18:58
TPO1 5.24综合
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the passage that four-day work policy will benefits the economy , the companies and the employees. In the professor's opinion, it will not effect them.

The speaker contradicts the first point in the reading that four-day policy may increase the profit of company. He contends that, this policy will trigger more spend since the company needs to add more workers, which causes the fees for training and medical treatment. Also more office space and computers are should be taken into consideration.

The professor goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the four day policy will decrease the unemployment rate. On the contrary, he argues that hiring new employments is costly. And the company has option to ask the employees work overtime. Companies may have higher expectation to add quantity of work. All these will make employees unpleasant.

Finally, the professor challenges the last point in the material that four day policy benefits the individual employee because they have more leisure time. He reminds us that it is risky and may low down the employees' quality of life. Their job ability will decrease and have few chances to advance. Four-day workers are more likely to lose job while five-day workers have more opportunities of promotion. They have supervision ability for work entire week.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-5-24 20:07
5.23 独立改文~
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Facing convenience(convenient) traffic system, improved infrastructure(这个单词当时想了好久啊) conditions and easy access to a wide range of products, people nowadays are more likely to take care of their families in urban areas. However, is the life in cities can bring a promising future? And(and在这里貌似作用不大) I claim that , on the contrary, it is better for people to take care of their families in the countryside.

More leisure time tops the list of expediencies. The life pace in the countryside is not as fast as thecity's, which enables the people there more leisure time to accompany with their family members. To give you an idea of(这里有点中式,直接摆出一个问卷调查就行)how much benefit (补充benefit的用法~1. 利益,好处;优势[U][C] 2. 津贴,救济金[C][U] 3. 义演,义卖[C] 4. 【美】(收入的)免税部分[U] ) the more time caused to a family, consider this: a recent survey made by China Daily reveals that comparecomparing to the family members live in the city, their counterparts in the countryside feel more pleasurepleased和后面一个是形容词 and satisfied with their life, since they spend more time together. It is the relax suburbsuburban life that made a family harmonious.

Closer social relationship also emerged as a remarkable advantage. I want to thank my dear mother, who brought me to the countryside when I was ten years old. Since then, I have made many friends in the elementary school. We still communicate with each other from time to time. The social life in the countryside has never been morecomplex than that in the city, which are(is)favored by many people. It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life(这里不明白), who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Peking University, all of these concluded the same result that family members in the countryside can receive better life(可以往closer social relationship上带带~.

Nevertheless, there areis still someone(这个是单数who believesthat family members should be taken careofin urban, out of fear that the less-developed infrastructure in the rural will usher in any inconvenience. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. People in the cities are more incline to(这个好,学走了)suffer from lung cancer because of the car(car's) emission. More recently, the issue of polluted air and contaminated drinking water poseposes a huge threat to people's health condition. (therefore)Hardly can we imagine the family members enjoy life in the cities.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end taking care of the family members in cities that rarely brings benefits and double down(?) on the countryside life that never has been more appealing. Taking care of the family in countryside is thepart of what made our family members happier.



Conclusion:1.建议lxc在每个主段前加一个逻辑连词

         2.注意主谓一致性

         3.注意一下冠词的用法

         4.夸一下,词汇和搭配都很好哦!

作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-5-25 16:40
5.24 综合改文
TPO1 5.24综合

来挑错了哦~
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the passage that four-day work policy will benefitsbenefit the economy , the companies and the employees. In the professor's opinion, it will not effect thempositively.

The speaker contradicts the first point in the reading that four-day policy may increase the profit of (the这个冠词吧,要不就用companies)company. He contends that, this policy will trigger more spend since the company needs to add more workers, which causes the fees for training and medical treatment. Also more office space and computers are should be taken into consideration.

The professor goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the four day policy will decrease the unemployment rate. On the contrary, he argues that hiring new employments is costly. And the company has option to ask the employees work overtime. Companies may have higher expectation to add quantity of work. All these will make employees unpleasant.

Finally, the professor challenges the last point in the material that four day policy benefits the individual employee because they have more leisure time. He reminds us that it is risky and may low down the employees' quality of life. Their job ability will decrease and have few chances to advance. Four-day workers are more likely to lose job while five-day workers have more opportunities of promotion. They have supervision ability for work entire week.



可以加个结尾~

细节很清楚,很好~

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-25 18:01
5.26综合
The listening completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the doubt of the authority of some paintings by Rembrandt. In the professor's opinion, the painting has been examed by expertise and proved to be true.

The professor contradicts the first point in the reading that something inconsistence displayed in the picture about the way the woman dressed. He contends that after analyzing by X-ray, the full colour was not the part of the portrait and added after 100 years in order to improve the value of the painting.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the light and shadow in this painting do not fit together, which disobey the Rembrandt's advantage. On the contrary, he argues that when the added full colour removed, the original, simple light colour cloth will reflect the light to illuminate the face. As a result, the light and shadow are what we expected.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the material that the back of the painting shows that the panel made of several pieces of wood glued together. He reminds us that the picture has been enlarged to be grand. Originally, it was a single wood and this wood is the same tree of another portrait by Rembrandt.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-27 12:09
5月27日 2011.2.11 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.


Facing immature children,countless repeated mistakes and the negative consequences these mistakes caused, parents nowadays are more likely to guide their kids to avoid the mistakes. However, it is really good for children when they grow up? I claim that, on the contrary, parents should be patient enough to endure the mistakes and let the kids learn from their own mistakes.

To begin with, the mistakes made by the kids help them to be mature and independent. The reason why some people are more likely to be successful in the future is that their parents are tolerant to their mistakes. A recent survey made by Fudan University reveals that comparing to the children who are always guided by their parents and made less mistakes, their counterparts who made more mistakes and learned from them are more likely to do things well, since they own more experience. It is the mistake that made one mature.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage--avoiding mistakes next time. I want to thank my dear mother. She always let me learn from my own mistakes, which is helpful in my future. I remember a mistake I made in my childhood. I was impolite to one of my friends, Mary, which lead to collapse of our relationship. I have learned from it and never rude to others since then. Only one's own experience can teach a lesson.

Nevertheless, there is someone still believes parents should give kids guidance they want, out of fear that any inevitable mistakes will usher in a dark future. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. On the contrary, the mistakes made by children themselves are unforgettable, which means they will never made same mistakes and this is crucial for a person in the future. It is answer said by teachers and educators, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by the Educational Bureau, these concluded the result that the parents should let the children make mistakes.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end the prohibit to let kids made mistakes that rarely brings benefit and double down on the learning from mistakes that has never been more promising. Letting kid make mistakes and learn from them is part of what made them more successful.


这个题目不好写啊,本次的文章写的像一坨屎。。
作者: acrophobiahy    时间: 2012-5-28 10:41
527 2011.2.11 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let themlearn from their own mistakes.

Facing immature children, countless repeatedmistakes and the negative consequences these mistakes caused, parents nowadaysare more likely to guide their kids to avoid the mistakes. However, it isreally good for children when they grow up? I claim that, on the contrary,parents should be patient enough to endure the mistakes and let the kids learnfrom their own mistakes.

To begin with, the mistakes made by the kids helpthem to be mature and independent. The reason why some people are more likelyto be successful in the future is that their parents are tolerant to theirmistakes. A recent survey
made conducted by Fudan University reveals that comparing to compared with the children who are always guided by their parents andmade less fewer mistakes, their counterparts who made more mistakes andlearned from them are more likely to do things well, since they own moreexperience. It is the mistake that made one mature.

Surely, there has always been another
remarkable advantage--avoiding the same mistakes nexttime. I want to thank my dear mother. She always let me learn from my ownmistakes, which is are helpful in to my future. I remember a mistake I made in my childhood. Iwas impolite to one of my friends, Mary, which lead to collapseof our relationship. I have learned from it and never rude(这是形容词,可以用speak to my friends with a rude attitude) to others since then. Only one's ownexperience can teach a lesson.

Nevertheless,
there is someone some people still believe parents should give kids guidance they want, outof fear that any inevitable mistakes will usher in a dark future. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint from my point of view. On the contrary, the mistakes made by childrenthemselves are unforgettable, which means they will never made same make the same mistakes and this is crucial for a person inthe future. It is an answer said by teachers and educators, who sent a messageto the questionnaire conducted by the Educational Bureau, these and which concluded the result that the parents should let thechildren make mistakes.

Forall the reasons listed, it is time to end the prohibit to let kids ma
kemistakes that rarely brings benefit and double down on the learning frommistakes that has never been more promising.(这句话稍微改一下吧,有点乱,读了好几遍才弄懂) Letting kids make mistakes and learn from them is part of what madethem more successful.

你的文章结构还是不错的~~
但是,在句子时态,单词词性方面,希望你多注意一下。
再者,希望你多做些句子、单词的同义转化,里面太多的GUIDE
加油啊~~
acrophobiahy
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-28 18:36
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the problems of communal encyclopedias. In the professor's opinion, the communal encyclopedias have never been perfect and these problems revealed in the passage are just small price to pay.

The listening contradicts the first assert in the passage that the communal encyclopedias always lack academic credentials. She argues that the traditional encyclopedias are also not accurate and the mistakes in them will remain for a very long time. While the communal encyclopedias are easy to be corrected online.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that communal encyclopedias are more likely to be fabricated or deleted by vandals or hackers. On the contrary, she contends that in order to avoid this condition the online encyclopedias have two strategies. Firstly, they have full mate to ensure the accurate information is not be changed easily. Secondly, the editional monitors make all the changes to ensure the malicious.

Finally, the lecture challenges the last point in the material that communal encyclopedias focus too wide topics. She reminds us that this feature can best reflect what the public are interested in accurately. The various topic to show the diversity interests is the strongest advantage.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-29 17:00
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people’s lives have already taken place.

Facing the advanced technology, the breaking through in the medical field and easy access to the internet, people now enjoy higher level of living standard. Under this circumstance, has all the significant improvement take place? I claim, on the contrary, that there is still long way to go to make more advancement in our life.

To begin with, solving the environmental problem tops the to-do list. The reason why it is so crucial is that it becomes a major concern for the public and poses a huge threat to people's health condition. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestige universities in China, reveals that compare to last generation, its counterpart is more incline to suffer from lung cancer and other diseases triggered by environmental pollution. It is an important problem which should be solved as soon as possible.

Surely, the population explosion also emerged as an issue. I want to thank our government. Since the implementing of the family plan, our quality of life has been improved in a fast speed. While in some African countries, because the population is soaring in an alarming rate without control, conflicts caused by increasing population happen from time to time. People in these areas cannot experience a peace life, let alone improvement of living standard.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that some inventions like Internet and cellphones have solved most of the problems in our life. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. These creations just provide more easy way for us to communicate and gain information. The major improvements such as health and environment still remain unsolved. It is the answer said by old and young, men and women, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Social Bureau. All these concluded the same result that we have not finished all the major improvement.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to step forward and continue to do hard work to guide a better life for human beings. I believe that all the science and technology we have had may laid a solid foundation for the progress in the near future.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-5-29 20:27
27吗?这篇文貌似是30号的,等写完了帮你改哦
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-30 20:58
TPO7综合
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the passage about the reasons why wood companies in the United States will not do same as other companies to receive ecological certificate. In the professor's opinion, the wood companies in the United States will realize the benefits and seek ecological certificate wood.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that American consumers will not value or pay attention to the ecocertification label. He contends that , in fact, the consumers will distinguish the claim of a company's own product and product certificated by the agent. Consumers are confident in the latter products and in favor to buy them.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that ecocertified wood will increase the price, which made the companies less likely to choose. On the contrary, he argues that the ecocertified wood is just a little expensive and the consumers nowadays begin to realize the value of environmental protection.

Finally, the listening challenges the last point in the material that it is not convincing to keep up with the developments in the rest of the world. He reminds us that if the companies in the United States do not pay attention to the domestic market, the foreign companies will be forcing competition and enter  into the domestic market for the ecocertified wood field.
作者: yuyiqi1105    时间: 2012-5-31 15:26
蓝色表疑惑和建议,高亮为好词好句~
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the passage about the reasons why wood companies in the United States will not do same as other companies to receive ecological certificate. In the professor's opinion, the wood companies in the United States will realize the benefits and seek ecological certificate wood.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that American consumers will not value or pay attention to the ecocertification label. He contends that , in fact, the consumers will distinguish the claim of a company's own product and product (个人认为这里用复数products好呢?)certificated by the agent. Consumers are confident in the latter products and in favor to(我google了下貌似in favor 只能与of连用呢~) buy them.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that ecocertified wood will increase the price, which made(这里是不是应该用make呢~) the companies less likely to choose. On the contrary, he argues that the ecocertified wood is just a little expensive and the consumers nowadays begin to realize the value of environmental protection.

Finally, the listening challenges the last point in the material that it is not convincing to keep up with the developments in the rest of the world. He reminds us that if the companies in the United States do not pay attention to the domestic market, the foreign companies will be forcing competition and enter  into the domestic market for the ecocertified wood field.

lxc的文章都没有什么问题,好腻害呀!!而且用词很丰富,基本没重词,大赞大赞一个!!!
作者: teresaz318    时间: 2012-5-31 16:02
黄色为优秀的点!!


The lecture completely rejects the idea in the passage aboutthe reasons why wood companies in the United States will not do same as othercompanies to receive ecological certificate. In the professor's opinion, thewood companies in the United States will realize the benefits and seekecological certificate wood.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that Americanconsumers will not valueor pay attention to the ecocertification label. He contends that, in fact, the consumerswill distinguish the claim of a company's own product and product certificatedby the agent. Consumers areconfident in the latter products and in favor to buy them.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that ecocertified woodwill increase the price, which made the companies less likely to choose. On thecontrary, he argues that the ecocertified wood is just a little expensive andthe consumers nowadays begin to realize the value of environmental protection.

Finally, the listening challenges the last point in the material that it is notconvincing to keep up with the developments in the rest of the world. He reminds us that if thecompanies in the United States do not pay attention to the domestic market, theforeign companies will be forcing competition and enter  into the domesticmarket for the ecocertified wood field.


哇哇哇~! 楼主的语言简洁 但是所有的point 都说出来了,基本上没什么语法错误!值得学习啊
膜拜!!! ~~!! 值得学习
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-5-31 19:18
TPO8
The lecture completely rejects the doubts in the passage about the accuracy of the memoir of Chevalier. In the professor's opinion, the memoir is accurate and reliable.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that the wealthy life of Chevalier in Switzerland described in the memoir is untrue. He contends that, at that time Chevalier was not poor and spent a lot money on party and gambling. He must sell thing s to get money. Borrowing money from others did not mean he was poor.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the conversation between Chevalier and Voltaire might not really happen. On the contrary, he argues that Chevalier wrote down everything of the conversation in a note and kept the note for a long time for reference of the memoir. And even some people even witness that.

The listening challenges the last viewpoint in the material that Chevalier did not escape from a notorious prison in Venice. He reminds us that the evidence from an old document shows that the sealing of the room of the prison which Chevalier stayed was repaired soon after his escape.
作者: joan31217    时间: 2012-6-1 07:40
The lecture completely rejects the doubts in the passageabout the accuracy of the memoir of Chevalier. In the professor's opinion, thememoir is accurate and reliable.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passagethat the wealthy life of Chevalier in Switzerland described in the memoir isuntrue. He contends that, at that time Chevalier was not poor and spent a lot (of) money on party (parties) andgambling. He must sell things to get money. Borrowing money from others did notmean he was poor.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author thatthe conversation(s) between Chevalier andVoltaire might not reallyhappen (这点写错了,不是谈话没有发生,是不能记住谈话的每个细节). On the contrary, he argues that Chevalier wrotedown everything of the conversations in a
note(s) and kept the note (s) fora long time for(as) reference of the memoir. And even some people even witness(ed) that (that指代不明).
The listening challenges the last viewpoint in the materialthat Chevalier did not escape from a notorious prison in Venice.(这个论点也错了,他逃脱了,不是贿赂监狱的人,而是凿房顶后跑的)He(she) reminds us that the evidence from anold document shows that the sealing of the room of the prisonwhich Chevalier stayed
(the ceiling of his oldprison room ) was repaired soon after his escape.

第一次改作文,改得不好请见谅~
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-1 12:11
TPO9
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the passage that fuel-cell engines have many advantages over internal-combustion engines and will soon replace the latter ones. In the professor's opinion, the passage is too optimism and the fuel-cell engine is not the best solution.

The lecture contradicts the first point in the passage that the fuel-engines rely on the hydrogen which can be gained from many sources. The professor contends that, in fact, the hydrogen is not easily available, since it cannot be obtained directly. In order to produce it, a complex technology is needed under a colding situation.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that byproduct of fuel-cell engine can solve the pollution problem worldwide. On the contrary, the professor argues that the purify process of the hydrogen needs a lot of energy to burn coal and oil, which will cause a lot of pollution.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the material that the fuel-cell engines are economically competitive and more efficiently. The professor reminds us that it is expensive to produce this kind of engine, because the process uses a sort of rare and expensive metal to create a chemical material to power the automobile. And the cheap material is not accessible.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-1 15:49
Asked what movies and television will do to teenagers, parents and teachers nowadays have a boilerplate answer: the greatest effect of them will be to guide the youth in wrong way. I claim, on the contrary, that movies and television have positive influence on young people.

The role of motivation of some movies tops the list of expediencies. A recent survey made by Sociology Department of Fudan University, one of the most prestige universities in China, reveals that 67% of the interviewees regarded movies as well impetus for them to overcome the difficulties in their life, especially the movies like Forrest Gump and Black Swan. It is this kind of movies inspires them to step forward and be optimism about the world.

There has always been another remarkable advantage: because of increasing movies focus on the environmental problems, young people begin to realize the significance of issues like extinction of animals, slashing of the forest coverage and the impact of industrialization. Young people are the pioneers of the environmental protection activities and have done majority of non governmental organization jobs. In this condition, how can people say the movies play more negative role?

Nevertheless, some people still believe the movies and televisions have bad impact on the youth, since the violent and pornographic elements in the television will pose a huge threat to society. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. If the teenagers are guided to watch television, these elements will not have bad consequences. It is the answer spoken by teachers and parents, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Educational bureau. All these concluded the same result that movies and television are not so negative.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to encourage more active movies and television instead of blaming for their negative influence on the youth. Movies and television are part of what made young people more excellent.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-6-1 22:24
31的独立,改完贴这啊~
5312011.3.11 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people’s lives have already taken place.

Facing the advanced technology, the breaking through(breakthrough) in the medical field and easy access to the internet, people now enjoy higher level of living standards. Under this circumstance, has all the significant improvement take(taken)place? I claim, on the contrary, that there is still long way to go to make more advancements in our life.

To begin with, solving the environmental problem tops the to-do list(这个感觉有点怪怪的). The reason why it is so crucial is that it becomeshas become用完成时比较好 a major concern for the public and poses a huge threat to people's health condition. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigeprestigious universities in China, reveals that compare(compared) to thelast generation, its counterpart is more incline to(可以用数字表现出来,显得更真实) suffer from lung cancer and other diseases triggered by environmental pollution. It is an important problem which should be solved as soon as possible.

Surely, the population explosion also emerged as an issue. I want to thank our government. Since the implementing of the family plan, our quality of life has been improved inat a fast speed. While in some African countries, because(as) the population is soaring in an alarming rate without control, conflicts caused by increasing population happenengenderfrom time to time.(这里可以说一些具体的矛盾) People in these areas cannot experience a peacepeaceful life, let alone improvement of living standard.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that some inventions like Internet and cellphones have solved most of the problems in our life. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. These creations just provide more easyeasier way for us to communicate and gain information. The major improvements such as health and environment still remain unsolved. It is the answer said by old and young, men and women, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Social Bureau.(感觉这有点突兀)All these concluded the same result that we have not finished all the major improvement.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to step forward and continue to do hard work to guide a better life for human beings. I believe that all the science and technology we have had may laidlay a solid foundation for the progress in the near future.



Conclusion: 1.lxc要多注意detail的挖掘,不要停在说理的层面上

         2.表扬一下,词汇很不错啦



作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-2 15:24
TPO10
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the passage about cause of the declining of the sea otters’ population. Contrary to the opinion in the passage that the pollution triggered the decreasing of the sea otters, the professor thinks that the major contribution is attacking by predators.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that the known sources alone the coast leads to the slashing of sea otters. The professor argues that there is no dead sea otters washed up to the beach which is best evidence for the theory of killing by predators. If they are killed by chemical pollution, their dead bodies will be washed up on shore.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that other sea mammals like seals and sea lions are also reducing because of the pollution. On the other hand, the professor contends that because whales are disappearing due to human activities, their predators-orcas have to change diet and resort to otters and other sea mammals.

Finally, the professor challenges the last viewpoint in the material that pollution hypothesis explains the uneven pattern of otter decline. The professor reminds us that the location which otter populations decline greatly is the place the orcas occur more easily. The big size of them made them cannot go to the shallow and rocky places. So, at these places the otters' population remained stable.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-2 15:24
6月2日101029 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Communication skill is the most important character of those who are successful.
Asked what communication skill will do to one's life, some people have a stereotype: this skill is not indispensable in one's success, since there are myriad of other factors. I claim, on the contrary, that communication skill plays the most crucial role in one's success.

Improvement of the social relationships tops the list of expediencies. Excellent communication skill enables people to make many friends who are helpful in their work or study. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestige universities in China, reveals that compare with those who without good communication skill, their counterparts are more likely to stand out in this competitive society. It is communication ability that made a successful person.

Surely, there has always been another advantage: eliminating the misunderstanding in the work. I want to thank my boss Jack, who owns outstanding communication capability, he never blame an employee without making out the whole thing. As a result, the atmosphere in our company is harmonious so that we can better concentrate on our work. Each year, the volume of our revenue ranks the first in our field. Hardly can we gain such a success with a boss in low communication skill.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that other skills like abundant knowledge are more important. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Without communication skill, one cannot express his or her knowledge or ideas clearly, let alone get success. It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Social Bureau. All these concluded the same result that communication skill is necessary.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud improvement of communication skill instead of overlooking its significance. Communication skill is part of what made one distinguished.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-2 20:05
To begin with, solving the environmental problem tops the to-do list(这个感觉有点怪怪的). The reason why it is so crucial is that it becomeshas become用完成时比较好) a major concern for the public and poses a huge threat to people's health condition. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigeprestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the last generation, its counterpart is more incline to(可以用数字表现出来,显得更真实) suffer from lung cancer and other diseases triggered by environmental pollution. According to this research, because of the pollution in the air, drinking water and food,  the rate of lung cancer has increased 32%, stomach cancer has doubled.(本句我想表达,肺癌发病率增加32%,胃癌发病率增加2倍)写不好,你看看~ It is an important problem which should be solved as soon as possible.


作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-6-2 21:50
To begin with, solving the environmental problem tops the to-do list(这个感觉有点怪怪的). The reason why it is so crucial is that it becomeshas become用完成时比较好) a major concern for the public and poses a huge threat to people's health condition. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigeprestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the last generation, its counterpart is more incline to(可以用数字表现出来,显得更真实) suffer from lung cancer and other diseases triggered by environmental pollution. According to this research, because of the pollution in the air, drinking water and food,  the rate of lung cancer has increased 32%, stomach cancer has doubled.(本句我想表达,肺癌发病率增加32%,胃癌发病率增加2倍)写不好,你看看~ It is an important problem which should be solved as soon as possible.

-- by 会员 lxc1989614 (2012/6/2 20:05:43)


呵呵,差不多了~
我也给你写一个
参考了一下wikipeida.
A survey conduced by Fudan University, a prestigious university in China, reflected that over 85% of lung caner patients share an urban life where the air pollution threatens people's healthy condition severely. According an expert connected, even though some people are not addicted to the cigarette,  those secondhand smoker  as well get a chance to suffer from lung disease.  Above all, with the advent of the automobile, the release of carbon dioxide, radon gas and other poisonous gases boosts the environmental problems.



Lung cancer

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lung cancer is a disease characterized by uncontrolled cell growth in tissues of the lung. If left untreated, this growth can spread beyond the lung in a process called metastasis into nearby tissue and, eventually, into other parts of the body. Most cancers that start in lung, known as primary lung cancers, are carcinomas that derive from epithelial cells. The main types of lung cancer are small cell lung carcinoma (SCLC), also called oat cell cancer, and non-small cell lung carcinoma (NSCLC). The most common cause of lung cancer is long-term exposure to tobacco smoke.[1] Nonsmokers account for 15% of lung cancer cases,[2] and these cases are often attributed to a combination of genetic factors,[3][4]radon gas,[5]asbestos,[6] and air pollution[7][8][9]including secondhand smoke.[10][11]

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-3 11:24
6.3 TPO11
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the problems caused by the decreasing audience of literature-novels. In the professor's opinion, people should not worry about this tendency.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that because of reading less literature, public will lose important benefits. The professor contends that other kinds of book like science-fiction also own high quality. They are more creative than the novels and encourage audience to exercise their imagination.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that young people spend more time on other entertainments may lower the level of culture in general. On the contrary, the professor argues that there are plenty of other entertainments like music and movies, which express directly to easy understanding. So, these entertainments absolutely will not lower cultural standard.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the material that less audience leads to fewer talent writers, which will be a big loss for society. The professor reminds us that it is not audience's fault to pay less attention to the literature but the writers. The writers nowadays make the novels difficult to understand, which leads to less audience.
作者: 花呀clear    时间: 2012-6-3 13:49
Asked what communication skill will do to one's life(这句话感到怪怪的 前面加个when会比较好吧?), some people have a stereotype: this skill is not indispensable in one's success, since there are myriad of (a myriad of吧? 看这里http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_myriad_of_colors)other factors. I claim, on the contrary, that communication skill plays the most crucial role in one's success.

Improvement of the social relationships tops the list of expediencies. Excellent communication skill enables people to make many friends who are helpful in their work or study. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestige universities in China, reveals that compare with those who without good communication skill, their counterparts are more likely to stand out in this competitive society. It is communication ability that made a successful person.

Surely, there has always been another advantage: eliminating the misunderstanding in the work. I want to thank my boss Jack, who owns outstanding communication capability, (前后是两个句子 应该用分号吧? 或者在he前面加一个for)he never blame an employee without making out the whole thing. As a result, the atmosphere in our company is harmonious so that we can better concentrate on our work. Each year, the volume of our revenue ranks the first in our field. Hardly can we gain such a success with a boss in low communication skill.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that other skills like abundant knowledge are more important. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Without communication skill, one cannot express his or her knowledge or ideas clearly, let alone get success. It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Social Bureau. All these concluded the same result that communication skill is necessary.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud improvement of communication skill instead of overlooking its significance. Communication skill is part of what made one distinguished.

LZ的作文很不错噢 很厉害
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-3 16:10
6.3
If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging, OR use the telephone or voice-messaging

Asked what kind of means of communication will someone choose when he or she wants to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, people may have a stereotype: In order to solve the problem as soon as possible, one should resort to telephone and text messages. I claim, on the contrary, that E-mail is an ideal way to discuss problems.

Convenience and economy top the list of expediencies. Just use Iphone or Ipad to connect to the internet, one can send E-mail at anytime and anywhere. Moreover, it also saves me a lot of money. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with other means like telephone and messaging, E-mail saves more than ten yuan a  month to communicate, for the fee of telephone and messaging is expensive than that of internet service. It is the E-mail that made our cost of communication cheaper.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage: E-mail is more likely to express matters well since there is less limitation in the words. I want to thank E-mail, which solves my myriad of problems in my life. I remember the time I studied in American and far away from parents. One day I had some conflicts with my best friend Mary. Then I sent an E-mail to my mom and expressed my feeling in long passage. She understood my situation and gave me many suggestions from her experience, which were very helpful. Consequently, Mary and I became best friends again. Hardly can I deal with such a problem without E-mail.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe we should choose telephone in emergency situation, while E-mail may not be checked quickly. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In modern society, majority people are used to check their E-mail everyday for work, for study and for communication. So E-mail is more efficiently to handle a problem.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud E-mail for discussion instead of other low -efficiency methods. E-mail is part of what made our puzzles more easily solved.
作者: teresaz318    时间: 2012-6-3 21:41
TPO10
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the passage about cause of thedeclining of the sea otters’ population. Contrary to the opinion in the passagethat the pollution triggeredthe decreasing of the sea otters, the professor thinks that the majorcontribution is attacking by predators.

The professor contradictsthe first point in the passage that the known sources alone the coast leads tothe slashing of sea otters. The professor argues that there is no dead seaotters washed up to the beach which is best evidence for the theory of killing by predators.If they are killed by chemical pollution, their dead bodies will be washed upon shore.

The speaker goes on tooppose the claim of the author that other sea mammals like seals and sealions are also reducing because of the pollution. On the other hand, theprofessor contends that because whales are disappearing due to humanactivities, their predators-orcas have to change diet and resort to otters andother sea mammals.

Finally, the professor challenges the last viewpoint in the material thatpollution hypothesis explains the uneven random 个人提议可以换一下patternof otter decline.The professor reminds us that the location which otter populations declinegreatly is the place the orcas occur more easily. The big size of them madethem cannot go to the shallow and rocky places. So, at these places the otters'population remained stable.




很好啊,很Perfect啊!! 只是有一点点的小提议!
LZ 的作文很不错~~!
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-4 13:57
Tpo12
The lecture completely rejects the main idea shown in the passage about the authority of Jane Austen's portrait. In the professor's opinion, the reasons in the passage are not convincing and the portrait is not teenager Jane Austen.

The professor contradicts the first point in the reading that Jane Austen's family recognized it as Jane Austen's portrait. The professor argues that at that time, Jane Austen has been died 70 years. So, even the family members have not seen Jane by themselves, let alone known her certainly.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the features in the portrait are similar to those in the portrait of adult Jane Austen. On the contrary, the professor argues that Jane had an extend and large family, there are a lot of teenagers in the family may look like Jane. In fact, the portrait is one of Jane's distant relatives.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the material about the evidence of the time when the picture created. The professor reminds us that a stamp on the back of the canvas revealed the picture's time. The seller of the canvas did not sell canvas in London at that time. Actually, he sold the canvas when Jane was older.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-4 14:56
6.4
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should encourage their children to do their schoolwork independently rather than help children to do their schoolwork.

Asked what should parents do when their children have some school work to do , majority of parents in China have stereotype: It is parents' responsibilities to guide their children in the assignments to get better grade. I claim, on the contrary, that it is better for kids to do school work independently.

Avoiding mistakes in the future study tops the list of expediencies. Learning from the mistakes and correct them, leading to improvement in the next time. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the kids who finish assignments under the help of their parents, their counterparts do better in the final exams. According to this research, about ten points higher in math test, five in English and seven in science. It is doing school independently make a student stand out.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage: finishing assignment on one's own elevates one's thinking ability. I want to thank my parents. They often encourage me to do school work independently and rarely assist me, which allowed me to think deeper and further. It benefits me not only in the study but also in my life, especially in my social interaction with others. It enables me to analyze the situation and to understand others better. Hardly can we gain this under parents' help.

Nevertheless, there are some people still believe that parents should help students to do school work to reduce their pressure. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. What will happen if a student attend SAT test without others' assistant? Children may face myriad of challenges in his or her life without their parents in the near future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud inspiring students doing school work independently instead of helping them. Being independently is part of what made students outstanding.
作者: Crystaljoy    时间: 2012-6-4 17:12
(开头有点僵硬,最好加一个引子。可以交代具体一点的背景之类。我试着写个哈Movies and television are now said to be the most popular activities to help people relax and unwind.Asked what movies and television will do to teenagers, parents and teachers nowadays have a boilerplate answer: the greatest effect of them will be to guide the youth in wrong way.will be to do 很少见啊。they most lead teenagers to go astray. I claim, on the contrary, that movies and television have positive influence on young people.

The role of motivation of some movies tops the list of expediencies.
(这里可以加一句阐释观点的。) A recent survey made by Sociology Department of Fudan University, one of the most prestige universities in China, reveals that 67% of the interviewees regarded movies aswell(删除) impetus for them to overcome the difficulties in their life, especially the movies like Forrest Gump and Black Swan. It is this kind of movies that inspires them to step forward(?别扭) and be optimismoptimistic about the world.

There
has always been (is
不需完成时吧) another remarkable advantage(brought by movies and TV programs. 段首句最好是带上关键词的完整句。): because of(because后面跟句子,because of N) increasing movies focus on the environmental problems, young people begin to realize the significance of issues like extinction of animals, slashing of the forestcoverage and the impactby-product of industrialization. Young people are (As) the pioneers of the environmental protection activities and(, the young 可以整合成一句) have done majority of (related) non-governmental organization jobs. In this condition, how can people say the movies play more negative role?

Nevertheless, some people still believe the movies and televisions have bad impact on the youth, since the violent and pornographic elements in the television will pose a huge threat to society. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint.
(This is because)If the teenagers are guided to watch television, these elements will not have (exert such) bad consequences. It is the answer spoken by teachers and parents, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Educational bureau.(这句话感觉有点多余。it指什么?)All these concludedconclude the same result that movies and television are not so negative(, to some extent).

For all the reasons listed,
it is time(这个后面的时态好像要过去式,不建议用,容易晕。) to encourage more active(?positive?) movies and television instead of blaming for their negative influence on the youth. Movies and television are part of what made(时态,句式都怪。wonderful platform to educateyoung people more excellent.



总体感觉:

结构,观点,词汇都不错啦!

小建议:



1.
语言有些生硬,就是感觉像模版一样不够生动。建议多用adj啦,后置定语修饰关键词。开头和结尾都比较平淡了,开头建议再具体一点,或者准备几个闪光巨型,结尾总结性再增强一点,用上逻辑标志词。


2.
句子之间逻辑联系不够紧密,显得意思很散。多体现上下文联系,多用逻辑关联词,因果词,想方设法让文章显得逻辑层层推进浑然一体的样子。

考试加油~


作者: teresaz318    时间: 2012-6-4 23:53
6.3 TPO11

The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the problemscaused by the decreasing audience of literature-novels 没有literature-novels这词把就literature就好了. In the professor's opinion, peopleshould not worry about this tendency.

The professor contradictsthe first point in the passage that because of reading lessliterature, public will lose important benefitspublicwill lose important benefits because of reading less literature .The professor contends that other kinds of book likesuch as, like 不是正式的举例)science-fiction , which are also own (have) high quality. They are more(听力中好像没有讲more, 我认为also ascreative as literatures就好) creative than the novels and encourage audience to exercise 有点怪their imagination.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that young people spendmore time on other entertainments may lower the level of culture in general. Onthe contrary, the professor argues that there are plenty of otherentertainments like music and movies, which express directly to easyunderstanding. So, these entertainments absolutely will not lower culturalstandard.

Finally, the listeningmaterialchallenges the last viewpoint in the reading materialthat less audience leads to fewer talent writers, which will be a big loss forsociety. The professor reminds us that it is not audience's fault to pay lessattention to the literature but the writers. The modernliterature writers nowadays make the novels difficult to understand, whichleads to less audience.
作者: joan31217    时间: 2012-6-5 08:54
MM 你还没帮我改6.2号的独立写作,还有6.3号的综合。 有空帮我改下吧,谢谢~~~~~~~~
作者: jasmine35    时间: 2012-6-5 11:32
TPO12
The lecture completely rejects the main idea shown in the passage about the
authority(没太理解这个词用在这里的意思) of Jane Austen's portrait. In the professor's opinion, the reasons in the passage are not convincing and the portrait is not teenager Jane Austen.

The professor contradicts the first point in the reading that Jane Austen's family recognized it as Jane Austen's portrait. The professor argues that at that time, Jane Austen has been died 70 years. So, even the family members have not seen Jane by themselves, let alone known her certainly.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the features in the portrait are similar to those in the portrait of adult Jane Austen. On the contrary, the professor argues that Jane had an
extended and large family. (on the contrary貌似不能连接两个句子) There are a lot of teenagers in the family who may look like Jane. In fact, the portrait is one of Jane's distant relatives.

Finally, the
listening(不知道这个词用在这里是否合适) challenges the last viewpoint in the material about the evidence of the time when the picture created. The professor reminds us that a stamp on the back of the canvas revealed the picture's time. The seller of the canvas did not sell canvas in London at that time. (个人觉得that指代不是很清楚) Actually, he sold the canvas when Jane was older.

LZ听力很好呢,细节什么的很准确,佩服佩服~~

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤    时间: 2012-6-5 11:57
If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging, OR use the telephone or voice-messaging

Asked what kind of means of communication will someone choose when he or she wants to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, people may have a stereotype: In order to solve the problem as soon as possible, one should resort to telephone and text messages. I claim, on the contrary, that E-mail is an ideal way to discuss problems.

Convenience and economy top the list of expediencies. Just uses an Iphone or Ipad to connect to the internet, one can send E-mailsat anytime and anywhere(at 搭配anytime是可以的,但是不能一起搭配anywhere). Moreover, it also saves me a lot of money. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compared with other means like telephone and messaging, E-mail saves more than ten yuan a month to communicate, for the fee of telephone and messaging is much more expensive than that of internet service. It is the E-mail that made(makes) our cost of communication cheaper.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage: E-mail is more likely to express matters well since there is less limitation in the words. I want to thank E-mail, which solves my myriad of problems in my life. I remember the time I studied in American and far away from parents. One day I had some conflicts with my best friend Mary. Then I sent an E-mail to my mom and expressed my feeling in long passage. She understood my situation and gave me many suggestions from her experience, which were very helpful. Consequently, Mary and I became best friends again. Hardly can I deal with such a problem without E-mail.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe we should choose telephone in emergency situation, while E-mail may not be checkedquickly(in time). But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In modern society, majority people are used to check their E-mail everyday for work, for study and for communication. So E-mail is more efficiently to handle a problem.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud E-mail for discussion instead of other low -efficiency methods. E-mail is part of what made our puzzles more easily solved.

这篇文章写得不错,出了一些小细节需要注意外,基本上没有什么问题。

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-5 15:21
TPO16
发现这几天的综合都已经练过了,发一篇TPO16吧,虽然没人改,发着玩玩
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the worry of the old cultural artifacts' protection. In the professor's opinion, the new guide line in this field has changed this situation.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that some valuable artifacts were destroyed by some construction projects. The professor contends that nowadays before the construction, there is always an exam by the archeologists to value the interest of the artifacts. If it should be protected, the government will set up a plan of reservation before the new construction begins.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that government has changed priorities which leads to inadequate financial support. On the contrary, the professor argues that artifacts protection is paid by construction companies. The new source of support helps researchers do research in far and greater range than past.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that because of the few positions available, there are fewer experts in the archeology field. The professor reminds us that the researchers in the protection process are all be paid, from exam to data report, which promotes the chances for more experts  in this field.
作者: vanessa923    时间: 2012-6-5 17:59
标题: 6.4改独立
6.4
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should encourage their children to do their schoolwork independently rather than help children to do their schoolwork.

Asked what should parents do(parents should do) when their children have some school work to do , majority of parents in China have stereotype: It is parents' responsibilities to guide their children in the assignments to get better grade(grades). I claim, on the contrary, that it is better for kids to do school work independently.

Avoiding mistakes in the future studytops the list of expediencies. Learning from the mistakes and correct them, leading to improvement in the next time.(这里语法好像有点不对,而且要先改正再学习啊。你看这样会不会更好? correcting the mistakes and learning from them leads to improvement the next time.) A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compared with the kids who finish assignments under the help of their parents, their counterparts do better in the final exams. According to this research, about ten points higher in math test, five in English and seven in science. It is doing school independently (that )make a student stand out.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage: finishing assignment on one's own elevates one's thinking ability. I want to thank my parents. They often encourage me to do school work independently and rarely assist me, which allowed me to think deeper and further. It benefits me not only in the study but also in my life, especially in my social interaction with others. It enables me to analyze the situation and to understand others better. Hardly can we gain this under parents' help.(例子受教了!)

Nevertheless, there are some people still believe that parents should help students to do school work to reduce their(their指代不明) pressure. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. What will happen if a student attend SAT test without others' assistant? (个人认为可以再加几个排比问句,这样会更有气势哦。)Children may face myriad of challenges in his or her life without their parents in the near future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud inspiring students doing school work independently instead of helping them. Being independently(independent) is part of what made students outstanding.(结尾联系前文总结会不会更好? As I mentioned,being independent is part of what make students outstanding not only in their study,but also in their life,can't we say it's better for them to develop their independence as early as possible?

总结:
楼主写的不错呢。感觉例子什么的也很贴近主题。受教了!
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-5 19:27
6月5日110130 ML
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.

We live in a world where skyscrapers are emerging like bamboo shoots and at the same time the pace of life is accelerating. Indeed, we do benefit a lot from the advanced life, however, to some extent, it also pose a huge threat to people's satisfaction with their life.

First and foremost, people who live in the cities are overwhelmed by the heavy burdens of life, especially the youth. Young people are likely to face higher taxes, less generous benefits and longer working hours in order to cope with the soaring good price. More immediately, more expensive houses and scarcely job have even made tougher time. Pressure caused by unemployment will bring about severe social problems. A latest survey shows that the stress caused by modern society has a certain connection with the increasing of criminal rate. It is the pressure from life that makes people dissatisfied with their life.

In addition, the relationship among people is not as intimate as before. Many of us spend all day in front of computer to finish work or assignment. Modern technologies enable us to get abundant of information but also deprive us from face to face communication. Children start to spend more time on their own rather than accompany with their family members. Students make friends through Facebook and Twitter instead of participating in extra-curriculum activities. Hardly can we feel satisfied in such an unfamiliar social relationship.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe we are happier than past, since we enjoy higher living standard from industrialization. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Pollution is another crucial issue we should pay attention to. Water shortage is chronic and blue sky is now gray. Car emission undermines the citizen's health condition. The old are more likely to suffer from lung cancer compare to their counterparts several decades ago. All these concluded the same result that our life is not satisfied.

For all the reasons listed, we have to burden heavier pressure, endure more severe pollution and deal with the social interaction problem. How can one say we enjoy a more happy and satisfied life?
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-6 15:28
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the three methods to protect Torreya trees. In the professor's opinion, none of the ways is an ideal option to produce satisfied results.

The professor contradicts the first option in the passage that reestablishing Torreya in the location in which it once thrived because of the suitable microclimate. The professor contends that that area has been changed, since the microclimate is subject to other factors such as climate change. Nowadays, the global warming has increased temperature in that area and the wet land becomes drier. All these are not like the condition long time ago.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that moving Torreya to a new cooler area such as further north area. On the contrary, the professor argues that people used to bring another kind of trees to the new environment, but it spreaded to fast and killed other endangered trees in that area, which caused some unpredictable consequence. So, it will not be a good choice.

Finally, the listening material challenges last viewpoint in the reading material that protecting Torreya in research center so that people can preserve it and conduct research. The professor reminds us that this way does no good to the trees' resistance of diseases. Only the large and diverse wild area can improve the population of the trees, while the research center is lacking capacity, which hardly helps the trees to deal with the diseases in long term.

In short, the points in the listening are different from what the passage says.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-6 17:03
6月9日101030 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Asked whether people nowadays are easier to become educated, majority people have a stereotype: because of too much distraction from outside, people, especially the youth, are less likely to be educated. I claim, on the contrary, that with the increasing number of methods to access to the knowledge, people are easier to be educated.

Cutting- edge technology tops the list of feasible ways. The internet and online classroom enable us with abundant of knowledge. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the last generation, its counterpart have more opportunities to realize their dream of higher education through online universities. According to this research, the number of people with bachelor’s degree has increased 52% in a decade. It is advanced technology that made us receive education with ease.

Surely, there is always another remarkable approach: being educated through mass media. I want to thank myriad of television programs such as discovery and BBC documentaries, which offer me an opportunity to absorb fore front knowledge. As the fan of these programs, I have equipped with a wide range of knowledge in the fields like science, medicine and law, which also helpful in my career and major learning. Hardly can we gain such useful knowledge without mass media.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that because of too many choices, many people give up the chance of education and resort to other interests. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In order to encourage more young people to receive higher education, universities in our country have enlarged scale and set a rule to attract more students, which works very well.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more ways to offer education chances instead of limited traditional methods. Advanced technology, mass media and government's support are part of what made people easier educated.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-7 11:59
TPO20
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about three kinds of damage of "let it burn" policy. In the professor's opinion, fire is natural part of the eco-system and it is also creative.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that the fire in Yellowstone triggered a lot of damage to the park's trees and other vegetation. The professor contends that, in fact, after the 1988 Yellowstone fire, there appeared a lot of new plants and vegetable. The area became more diverse, since the fire creates an opportunity for the plants which cannot grow in former condition. Small plants have more space to thrive and seeds have suitable temperature to germinate.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that fire also affects the wild life in the park. On the contrary, the professor argues that fire also offer new chance for wild life. Small plants replaced the high trees made food more feasible for small animals like rabbits and hares, which benefit their predator as well. Fire enhances the food chain.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that fire has negative results for the local economy. The professor contends that fire does not happen every year, because the occurrence of it needs the combination of mass factors. Actually, the visitors came back in the next year of Yellowstone fire. So the fire has no such bad impact.

In short, the points asserted in passage are different from what the lecture says.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-6-7 17:19
6.9 独立改文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Asked whether people nowadays are easier to become educated, majority ofpeople have a stereotype(trite words/platitude呵呵,感觉这俩也行,就写上了): because of too much distraction from outside, people, especially the youth, are less likely to be educated. I claim, on the contrary, that with the increasing number of methods to accessaccesses 就可以了 to the knowledge, people are easier to be educated.

Cutting- edge technology tops the list of feasible ways. The internet and online classroom enable us to go(没有看过enable with的用法)with abundant of knowledge. A recent survey made by Fudan University(哈哈,lxc是复旦的忠实fans, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the last generation, its counterpart have more opportunities to realize their dream of higher education through online universities. According to this research, the number of people with bachelor’s degree has increased 52% in a decade(by 52% during the last decade). It is advanced technology that made us receive education with ease.

Surely, there is always another remarkable approach: being educated through mass media. I want to thank myriada whole myriad of television programs such as discovery and BBC documentaries, which offer me an opportunity to absorb fore front(这个是?) knowledge. As the fan of these programs, I have equipped with a wide range of knowledge in the fields like science, medicine and law, which isalso helpful in my career and major learning. Hardly can we gain such useful knowledge without mass media.
恩恩,举例读起来很爽了~
Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that because of too many choices, many people give up the chance of education and resort to other interests. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In order to encourage more young people to receive higher education, universities in our country have enlarged scale and set a rule(什么rule,这里要解释一下 to attract more students, which works very well.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more ways to offer education chances instead of limited traditional methods. Advanced technology, mass media and government's support are parts of what made people easier educated.


Conclusion:文章基本上没有错误了。

1.三个主段:第一段是数例,第二段的事例很好,第三段的rule还要深入一点

2.三个分论点犯了一个逻辑错误,婷婷觉得advanced technology 是包括mass media的,都是技术吧

3.建议多记几个作文模板,这篇文章和上次婷婷看过的文章很像的说~

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-6-7 17:32
6.7号作文
Asked whether students in high school should take a course on basic economics, parents and teachers in China have a stereotype: basic courses are no need to be added in the schedule because students are too young to understand this specific knowledge. I claim, on the contrary, that it is necessary for the students in high school have some ideas about basic economic.

Having a better preparation for the major choice in the college tops the list of expediencies. Increasing number of students choose economy as their major because of a decent career rather than their true interest. The basic courses offer an opportunity for students to understand this major well. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the school without basic economical courses, the students in their counterparts are more subject in major choice. According to this research, less than 20% of the students in the latter school choose economy as their major. It is the basic courses that made a clear future for students.

Surely, there is always another remarkable advantage: students can have better understanding of some economical events in society. I want to thank my high school, a top five schools in my country. It enables us to a wide range of basic economical course such as "economy in our life" and "how to face the challenge from economic crisis". They are not only enlarge my knowledge but also helpful in my study of other subjects. Hardly can we benefit a lot in a high school without the economical classes.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe high school students should not take economical courses, since they are not included in the college entrance exam and  waste a lot of time. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The education in our country put too much emphasis on test and overlooks other important comprehensive abilities. That is why we are lacking the creativity talents.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more basic economical classes instead of neglecting its significance. Economical courses in high school are part of what made our students more excellent.
作者: Crystaljoy    时间: 2012-6-8 09:45
TPO20
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about three kinds of damage of "let it burn" policy. In the professor's opinion, fire is natural part of the eco-system and it is also creative.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that the fire in Yellowstone
triggered a lot of damage to the park's trees and other vegetation.
(Yet加一个转折词把passagelecture内容分开)The professor contends that, in fact, after the 1988 Yellowstone fire, there appeared a lot of new plants and vegetablevegetables 对称). The area became more diverse, since the fire creates an opportunity for the plants which cannot grow in former condition. (我觉得这两句话就是一个意思,可以summarize到一起。Yet the professor contends that, in fact, after the 1988 Yellowstone fire, this area became more diverse, since the fire creates an opportunity for the a lot of new plants and vegetables which cannot grow in former condition. )
(后面这是另一个点么?Besides,) Small plants have more space to thrive and seeds have suitable temperature to germinate.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that fire also affects the wild life in the park. On the contrary, the professor argues that fire also offer new chance for wild life.
(For example,) Small plants replaced the high trees made food more feasible for small animals like rabbits and hares, which benefit their predator as well. (Also,)
Fire enhances the food chain.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that fire has negative results for the local economy. The professor contends that fire does not happen every year, because the occurrence of it
needs(requires) the combination of mass(感觉程度太重了numerous/various/) factors. Actually, the visitors came back in the next year ofafter
Yellowstone fire. So the fire has no such bad impact.

In short, the points asserted in passage are different from what the lecture says.
个人感觉,综合太一般的结尾,写了不如不写。这是小分队5842用过的一个结尾,我觉得很不错,推荐你临考前学习下:In a nutshell, the lecturer discredits the viewpoints of the reading and restates that。。。,。。。, as well as 。。。are partly explanatory for 。。。, but not an overall one.



建议多用一些体现逻辑,体现结构的连接词。结构显得更加清晰。



每段最后可以加一个总结会不会更好?比如这种By saying this, the lecturer disproves what is stated as a cause in the reading. 可以prepare几句。



整体的语言很流畅!细节也够~我觉得这样的考场作品应该很不错了,明天加油!

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-7-31 19:32
TPO22
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the reading concerning the disadvantage of the ethanol. In the professor's opinion, ethanol is a good alternative and none of the reasons in the passage is convincing.

The lecture rejects the first viewpoint in the passage that the ethanol does no good to the environment, since it releases carbon dioxide. which is the main cause of the global warming. The professor, however, asserts that the growing process of the ethanol plants helps to absorb the carbon dioxide. In other word, the plants need carbon dioxide for their nutrition. So the first point in the passage is not right.

The speaker goes on to contradict the second reason of the author that the use of the plants will lead to decreasing of the resource for animals. The professor believes that it will not happen in the future. Because the ethanol mainly needs the part named cellious which cannot be eaten by animals. As a result, the problem mentioned in the passage is no longer a worry.

The listening material casts doubt on the last reason in the reading that the high price of the ethanol will prevent the customers from buying it. The professor does not agree with the opinion. He said that the price can compete with the traditional gas if more people use it. With increasing of demand, the production will also increase which make the low price available. According to a study, when the produce rises 3 times, the cost will decrease 40%.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-7-31 21:35
7.31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

Every one expects an honesty friend, student or employee, rich or poor, man and woman , while a completely honest friend seems particularly in shortage in this increasing complex society. I, however, accept the not completely honest in my friendship.

On one hand, there never lacks the story that one friendship collapse because of too much complete honest words. “ Your T-shirt does not suit you, since the colour is so wired.” How do you feel when your best friend gives such comment on your favorite T-shirt? Also an excited introduction of your new boy friend may intrigue unpleasant response from your friend.  Honesty is really a plausible character of a good friend, but it also brings out some problems. According to a recent survey made by Peking University ,  one prestigious university in China, reveals that 67% of the break up friendship is result from completely honest comments or conversation. It is the excess honesty that directs a relationship to the negative situation.

On the other hand, the complete honesty also makes our life tedious and press. That’s why people prefer white lie rather than complete honesty from time to time. I want to extend my sincere gratitude toward my elder sister, Mary, who set an excellent example in my life. She does not only always know the situation to whether tells the truth or not but also express her real feeling in other way. For instance, when the dress colour does not suit one, instead of pointing it out directly, she will give her recommend to change another one. This kind of interaction skill plays a crucial role in our life. So, there is no surprising that she is so popular among her friends.

Nevertheless, someone is still call for the complete honesty for fear of betrayal by their friends. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. It is necessary to be honest in a relationship, however, it is should never be complete. Every thing has its degree. So is the honesty in friendship. If one must to be complete honest to his or her friends. The result is endless dispute and disagreement.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause ‘proper’ honesty instead of complete honesty, to cheer up a pleasant friendship rather than a tried and pressure relationship. That is what make our friendship unshakable.
作者: 小兔爱twins    时间: 2012-8-1 02:56
标题: tpo22 个人修改意见~~ by小兔
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the readingconcerning the disadvantage of the ethanol. In the professor's opinion, ethanolis a good alternative and none of the reasons in the passage is convincing.

The lecture rejects the first viewpoint in thepassage that the ethanol does no goodto the environment, since it releases carbon dioxide.(换逗号) which is the main cause of the global warming. Theprofessor, however, asserts that the growing process of theethanol plants 这样表达意思是乙醇植物 我觉得不太准确)可以把整句换成growing plants for ethanol production helps to absorb the carbondioxide. In other word, the plants need carbon dioxide for their nutrition.表述中德逻辑顺序不太对,听力给出的是种植那些植物会吸收CO2 所以对种那些植物减少温室气体有帮助 So the first point in the passage is not right.

The speaker goes on to contradict the secondreason of the author that the use of the plants will lead to decreasing of theresource for animals. The professor believes that it will not happen in thefuture. Because the ethanol mainly needs the part named cellious which cannotbe eaten by animals. As a result, the problem mentioned in the passage is nolonger a worry.(没问题~)

The listening material casts doubt on the lastreason in the reading that thehigh price of the ethanol will prevent the customersfrom buying it. (个人认为有点点扯远了..阅读上说是ethanol gasoline 在价格上斗不过,现在能差不多价格是依赖政府补助,并没有具体的点到是会让顾客不买) The professor does not agree with the opinion. (划线的两句表述重复…)He said(最好全文时态要一致!!) that the price can competewith the traditional gas if more people use it. With increasing of demand, theproduction will also increase which make the low price available. According toa study, when the produce rises 3 times, the cost will decrease 40%.

作者: sherryzhangh    时间: 2012-8-1 10:47
7.31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

Every one expects an honesty friend,
whether you are student or employee, rich or poor, man or woman. While a completely honest friend seems particularly in shortage in this increasing complex society. I, however, tend to accept the not completely honest in my friendship.

On one hand, there never lacks the story that one friendship collapse because of too much complete honest words. “Your T-shirt does not suit you, since the color is so wired.” How do you feel when your best friend gives such comment on your favorite T-shirt? Also an excited introduction of your new boy friend may intrigue unpleasant response from your friend.  Honesty is really a plausible character of a good friend, but it also brings out some problems. According to a recent survey made by Peking University, one prestigious university in China reveals that 67% of the break up friendship is result from completely honest comments or conversation. It is the excess honesty that directs a relationship to the negative situation.

On the other hand, the complete honesty also makes our life tedious and press
ed. That’s why people prefer white lie rather than complete honesty from time to time. I want to extend my sincere gratitude toward my elder sister, Mary, who set an excellent example in my life. She does is always not only always know the situation to whether tells the truth or not but also expresses her real feeling in other way. For instance, when the dress color does not suit one, instead of pointing it out directly, she will give her recommend to change another one. This kind of interaction skill plays a crucial role in our life. So, there is no surprising that she is so popular among her friends.

Nevertheless, someone is still call for the complete honesty for fear of betrayal by their friends. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. It is necessary to be honest in a relationship, however, it is should never be complete. Everything has its degree. So is
(感觉应该用does) the honesty in friendship. If one must to be completely honest to his or her friends. The result is endless dispute and disagreement.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause ‘proper’ honesty instead of complete honesty, to cheer up a pleasant friendship rather than a tried and pressure relationship. That is what make
s our friendship unshakable.
作者: Vance1991    时间: 2012-8-3 22:52
lxc麻烦改一下我的7月31日的独立作文,3Q~
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-4 15:37
8.3
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.


In this increasing competitive society, parents are eager their children's success, especially in China. As a result, majority of parents prefer to help the children to do their work, to choose courses, to apply for university, even to decide career. They impose their own experience and thought on their kids in order to seek a short cut to success. I, on the opposite, back up the parents who cultivate children's independency.

On one hand, the kids who do work by themselves are more likely to have their own experience on one thing so that they can avoid making same mistakes in the future. They learn from it, analyze it and record it. All these efforts help them to improve. Consider my brother, Jack, who started to live independently at his early age. Dealing with each stuff in his life from washing dishes to making money. Difficulties, ups and downs are all great chances for him to grow up. Now, he is a successful entrepreneur in Shanghai and his company tops the list of promising economy. It is independency that makes him outstand.

On the other hand, independency improves one not only physically but also mentally. Children will have insight and far- sight with the ability to think independently. According to a recent survey made by Stanford University, one of the most prestigious universities world wide, reveals that compare to the kids who always under the help of their parents in life, their counterparts acquire higher score in school tests. In this study, the independency students get 30 more points in the math exam, 22 more points in chemical class test. The reason why it turns out such result is that the kids encouraged doing things on their own by their parents are more willing to think, which is crucial in school work.


For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause encouraging the student to do everything independently instead of helping them from time to time. Parents should give them space, let them to be mature.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-8-4 22:39
婷婷飘过~
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently
红色错误,蓝色疑问,高亮精彩哦

好久没有来看lxc的文章了,挑刺来了


In this increasing(increasingly用副词修饰形容词,其实用skyrocket更形象,eg: the social competition is skyrocketing) competitive society, parents are eager(感觉这么用更好:are eager  to witness...,这里eager是形容词 their children's success, especially in China. As a result, majority of parents prefer to help the children to do their work, to choose courses, to apply for university, even to decide career. They impose their own experience and thought on their kids in order to seek a short cut to success. I, on the opposite, back up the parents who cultivate children's independency.

On one hand, the kids who do work by themselves are more likely to have their own experience on one thing so that they can avoid making same mistakes in the future. They learn from it, analyze it and record it(三者之间逻辑好想有点问题,应该是meet the problem, analyze it and avoid it in the future). All these efforts help them to improve. Consider my brother, Jack, who started to live independently at his early age. Dealing with each stuff in his life from washing dishes to making money. Difficulties(感觉写achievements and adversities比较好,这样可以和后面的ups and downs对应), ups and downs are all great chances for him to grow up. Now, he is a successful entrepreneur in Shanghai and his company tops the list of promising economy(这里不太明白,是要表达他的公司很有前景吧?直接写his career will flourish/thrive no sooner or later好了. It is independency that makes him outstand.

On the other hand, independency improves one not only physically but also mentally(这个观点过度地有点快,上一段也不是在重点写physical improvement gendered by independency呀,建议加个过渡 . Children will have insight and far- sight(两个重复,留一个) with the ability(也可以用competence to think independently. According to a recent survey made by Stanford University, one of the most prestigious universities world wide, reveals that compare to the kids who always under the help of their parents in life, their counterparts acquire higher score in school tests. In this study, the independency students get 30 more points in the math exam, 22 more points in chemical class test. The reason why it turns out such result is that the kids encouraged doing things on their own by their parents are more willing to think, which is crucial in school work.

这一段很通顺,例子有说服力,建议可以把math exam改成intelligence quiz,这样更能体现mentallymath学得好不一定代表智商高,嘿嘿咱们中国学生的数学都能秒杀老美的。


这里写一个让步更好,although it is favorable for parent to be engaged to foster children's independency,  children may result in some disastrous consequences without parent's provident care especially at a certain turning point . For example, when children choose a future during university...可以继续写下去,最后总结,所以parents ought to cultivate children's independency moderately and give a hand with emergencies...

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause encouraging the student to do everything independently instead of helping them from time to time. Parents should give them space, let them to be mature.



Conclusion:

Lxc是把这道题转换成写independency 的重要性了,很不错,比婷婷当时写的好多了,不过加个让步段,会让文章更切合主题哦~

1.写文的时候,注意让思维更严谨一点,比如前后对应,还有时间先后关系之类的

2.语言很流畅,可以适当润色一下文章,加一些长短句,还有注意词汇使用的精确性,像increaseskyrocket代替

3.婷婷比较喜欢带让步的写法,显得严谨,更有文采,lxc觉得呢?

Anyway,已经写得很好啦,加油啦,learn from you

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-5 16:40
给我一个地址好吧,实在没时间找了。。。
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-5 20:49
lxc麻烦改一下我的7月31日的独立作文,3Q~
-- by 会员 Vance1991 (2012/8/3 22:52:14)


给我一下地址。。我实在没时间找了。。。
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-5 20:50
8.5
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

We live in a world where mass media plays a skyrocketing important role and the pace of information spreading is quickening. In this event, there triggers a heated discuss concerning the impact of movies and televisions. From my perspective, movies and televisions do good to youth.

On one hand, when facing with difficulties and troubles, movies and televisions are always inspire young people to step forward. Thanks to a classic move named Forest gump, which gave me much energy during the time I prepared college entrance exam. Each time when I felt frustrated and depressed, I resorted to this movie. It encouraged me never give up and do my utmost to finish all the tests, quizzes and exams in the school. Consequently, I have enrolled in my dream university, Peking University, one of the most prestigious universities in China. It is the movies and televisions that open me a brand new world.
On the other hand, climbing number of environmental-friendly theme movies and televisions elevate people's awareness of environmental protection, to some extent. The prevalent document Ocean reveals us the alarming decreasing rate of marine organism. Also, Avator analogizes the consequence of environmental devastating. Because of these films, young people begin to be pioneers in the NGOs and associations to claim people to protect the environment which leads to a fruitful result. People start to pay attention to the extinction creatures and pollution behaviors are diminishing. Under this circumstance, how can we say movies mislead young people?

Nevertheless, some people argue that the violent movies and televisions pose a huge threat to our society, since they are the major contribution to the soaring Juvenile Delinquency. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The reason why the mass media has negative influence on students is that the youth lack the rational guidance from parents and teachers. Combination efforts are needed to create a harmonious and healthier society for our country's future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause more positive movies and televisions instead of blaming for their bad effect on young people. In fact, they push us to be perfect.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-8-5 23:46
婷婷又飘过~
sweet,先亲一个,实在太棒啦
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

We live in a world where mass media plays(play这是个复数) a skyrocketing important role and the pace of information spreading(这里怪怪的,用the spreading rate of information is quickening. In this event, there triggers a heated discussdiscussion concerning the impact of movies and televisions. From my perspective, movies and televisions do good to youth.
第一段简明提出观点,不错~



On one hand, when(去掉)facingfaced/confronted with difficulties and troubles, movies and televisions are always inspire young people to step forward.(这句话前面的分句是young people,所以后面改成,young people are inspired to step forward mainly by movies and televisions)Thanks to a classic movemovie named Forest gump, which gave me much energy during the time I prepared thecollege entrance exam. Each time when I felt frustrated and depressed(重复,留一个), I resorted to this movie. It encouraged me never to这个不确定give up and do my utmost to finish all the tests, quizzes and exams(意思都差不多哈,留个像样的就行) in the school. Consequently, I have enrolled in my dream university, Peking University, one of the most prestigious universities in China. It is the movies and televisions that open me a brand new world.


On the other hand, climbing number of environmental-friendly theme movies and televisions elevate people's awareness of environmental protection, to some extent(这里不要用,让人感觉你想让步,态度坚决一点). The prevalent document Ocean reveals us the alarming decreasing rate of marine organism. Also, Avator analogizes the consequence of environmental devastating. Because of these films, young people begin to be pioneers in the NGOs and associations(好想后者包含了前者,这是一个逻辑问题) to claim people to protect the environment which leads to a fruitful result. People start to pay attention to the extinction creatures and pollution behaviors are diminishing. Under this circumstance, how can we say movies mislead young people?

Nevertheless, some people argue that the violent movies and televisions pose a huge threat to our society, since they are the major contribution to the soaring Juvenile Delinquency. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The reason why the mass media hashave/exert negative influence on students is that the youth lack the rational guidance from parents and teachers. Combination efforts are needed to create a (more和后面的healthier对应)harmonious and healthier society for our country's future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause more positive movies and televisions instead of blaming for their bad effect on young people. In fact, they push us to be perfect.

Conclusion

这次中间段落展开很好哦,喜欢lxc的让步写法~~进步刷刷的!!

1.不要并列重复用形容词和名词哦

2.注意medias已经是复数了,单数形式是medium

3.还有就是注意主语一致性了(重点看第二段的第一句)这里还是写成强调句好: it is movies and televisions that inspire/motivate juvenile to step forward when they facing some adversities.

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-7 19:02
8.7 In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.


"History is the mirror of future", there always goes an old saying. Although myriad of people nowadays reject this saying because the fast changing society make things subject to be out of date, I still believe that people should review the past if they want to deal with the problems in the present and even in the future.

On one hand, success can be repeated. The successful experiences in the past exert good examples for people who are facing some problems in the present. When preparing the bar exam, students are like to resort to those who have passed the exam. Why? As students with such successful experience, they are equipped with not only the knowledge needed in this exam but also the experience in the test, say, calm, careful and relax. All these make these students even better than teachers to convey experience. It is the past experience that makes them the best helper for the students who are preparing for this exam.

On the other hand, the mistakes one made in the past also play an crucial role for solving the problems in the present and future. Learning from these mistakes and correcting them can assist one avoid making same mistake next time. This raises the possibility to handle a problem better. A recent survey made by Economists, a prevalent magazine in Shanghai, reveals that 80% of the most successful entrepreneurs in China have habit of absorbing the loss experience in the past. Undoubtly, the habit makes them more outstanding.

Nevertheless, some people argue that in this, situation changes with lips and bounds, the past experience easily becomes useless. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. As long as the situation and circumstance will no longer be the same, the principle is eternal. In a racing competition, when athletes are in the same level, they compete with nothing but experience.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause reviewing the former instead of just living now. The past experience left one in a higher step.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-8-8 19:12
婷婷又一次飘过
8.7 In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
来找茬了,嘿嘿~

"History is the mirror of future", there always goes an old saying. Although myriad of people nowadays reject this saying because the fast changing society make things subject to be out of date, I still believe that people should review the past if they want to deal with the problems in the present and even in the future.
开头引用名人名言,比较简洁
On one hand, success can be repeated.(这一句不能算ts,把后面那句合并一下吧)The successful experiences in the past exertexert通常和influence搭配吧,觉得用demonstrate/show之类的好些 good examples for people who are facing some problems in the present. When preparing the bar exam, students are like to resort to those who have passed the exam. Why? As students with such successful experience, they are equipped with not only the knowledge needed in this exam but also the experience in the test, say, calm, careful and relaxaplomb, prudence,relaxation都改成名词吧. All these make these students even better than teachers to convey experience. It is the past experience that makes them the best helper (用instructor更好for the students who are preparing for this exam.(强调句不错)

On the other hand, the mistakes one made in the past also play an crucial role for solving the problems in the present and future. Learning from these mistakes and correcting them can assist one avoid making same mistake next time. This raises the possibility to handle a problem better. A recent survey made by Economists, a prevalent magazine in Shanghai, reveals that 80% of the most successful entrepreneurs in China have habit of absorbing the loss experience in the past. Undoubtly(undoubtedly), the habit makes them more outstanding.
感觉这两个观点有点相似,一个是学成功经验,一个从错误中学习,是一正一反吗?



Nevertheless, some people argue that in this, situation changes with lips and bounds, the past experience easily becomes useless. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. As long as the situation and circumstance will no longer be the same, the principle is eternal. In a racing competition, when athletes are in the same level, they compete with nothing but experience.例子描写不够,还可以多一点

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause reviewing the former instead of just living now. The past experience left one in a higher step.



Conclusion:这篇算是美文了

1.Ts很相近,其实合到一起也行,都是汲取经验,可以举正反例子,鲜明对比嘛

2.另一个可以写过去更能激发现在的人们去开拓创新之类的

3.真的找不出问题了,婷婷能力有限了...



作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-9 19:16
you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has.

Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together,there always goes an old saying. Some people may like to make friends with different personality to compriomise them. I, however, still think that the types of friends of a person reflects a lot, from charactristics to career.

On one hand, people with similar personality are more likely to become friends. It is not hard to find that those who are out-going often stay with persons like similing and comunication, while in the libirary, it is easy to discover friends who are all prefer quiet place and reading. My brother Tom, a brave and risk-taking person, whose majority of friends are keen on extram sport, such as hiking, skiing and pop-jumping. Every weekend, they get together and choose places to challenge. In this event, how can you say we cannot judge a person by his or her friends?

On the other hand, generally, good friends are tend to be made in the same field of job.They have same interesting topics in the career and often have more chances to communicate with each other.That is why pop-stars have more pop-star friends than common people. According to a research made by Stanford University, a university with glittery reputation in the world, reveals that 67% of  people choose to make friends in the same career. It is the friends one make that shows one's job.

Nevertheless, some people argue that friends reflect nothing but one person's interest and occassion also make a couple of friends. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. If one just make friends at ramdon and show no preferrence, how can he find the friends most suit him? The answer is simple: personality and same conversation topics.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to knowing a person throgh his or her friends instead of distrusting this thoery.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-10 13:36
For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

What is the major contribution of career success? Good relationship with other people who assist one in job or studying hard at school? From my perspective, diligent study during school time plays more crucial rule in future triumph in career.

On one hand, there is no doubt that the job one does in his field is highly related to what he has learned in university, which means that he applies the theories in his major to accomplish all the tasks in his position. Consider my brother Jack, an excellent lawyer in a leading law firm in Shanghai. Everyday he reviews the commercial contracts, including company contracts, trading ones and insurance ones. Accordingly, what he has studied in university lays a solid foundation in his job. Without the knowledge, how can he has such achievement nowadays?

On the other hand, the success of one's career reflects not only a strong ability in finishing the missions in study but also the desire for new knowledge. He or she will more willing to absorb new practical things in the process of doing job. A latest research found in the China Daily unveils that 85% of the successful entrepreneurs in China are also diligent in their school time, especially the period in university. The more one has learned, the more one will achieve. This is the principle which consented by all the famous business men non-exclude Steve Jobs. It is studying hard that makes one more out-standing.

Nevertheless, hardly everyone can reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that without other people such as boss or leader, one has few chances to get what he wants, say higher position and more decent salary. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Only those who put all their energy into studying can attract others' assistant which brings a promising future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud diligent person instead of waiting for others' help. God only help those who help themselves.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-10 13:37
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?
To educate students or to do research? From America to China, it is a tough question for all the university professors to answer. They are keen on the research in their field; meanwhile they also love their students. From my perspective, it does both good to themselves and students if they focus on their teaching.

On one hand, as students know little about their major, they need someone to guide them. Only the professors with rich experience in teaching are able to convey abundant and specialized knowledge to them. Under the expression of these professors, the hard notions and formula become understandable. According to a questionnaire made by Fudan University, one of the universities with glittery reputation in China, reveals that 70% of the freshman and sophomore in Chinese universities prefer professors as their teachers. The reason is that they can express knowledge better than some young teachers.

On the other hand, high academic standard of professors inspires students to work hard.  I want to grand my sincere gratitude to my professor during my post-graduate time. Because of his strong research ability in his field, I had myriad opportunities to attend world-class research meeting and be acquainted with many professors in this field from different countries. The more conferences I have attended, the more interest I have in my field-commercial law. Consequently, I made great achievement in my field and nowadays I enjoy my career in a leading law firm in Shanghai. Without the help of my professor, I will never have such life.

Nevertheless, some people still argue that professors pay too much attention and time on teaching will have negative impact on whole academic standard in our country. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Combination of teaching and studying is the best solution for this problem. It not only can continue professors' teaching work but also benefit the students in their study.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud guidance from professor instead of just putting emphasis on professors' own research. What the professors do will generate more outstanding successors in the near future.
作者: GWinner    时间: 2012-8-10 17:12
8.9 独立批改
精彩错误修改提议综合
you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has.

Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together,there always goes an old saying.[两个谚语用的很好 但句式应该是这样的: there is a saying goes that...] Some people may like to make friends with different personality[不能和人格做朋友吧...with people who have different personalities]to compriomise them.[这儿没懂] I, however, still think that the types of friends of a person reflects[这里也有点没懂,reflect后面应该有个宾语才对?]a lot, from charactristics to career.

On one hand, people with similar personality are more likely to become friends. It is not hard to find that those who are out-going often stay with persons like similing and comunication[people who are usually smiling and fond of communicate with others], while in the libirary,[这个放到后面去比较好, 否则断句太多有点乱] it is easy to discover[discover这个词用在这不太准确, find就可以了] friends who are[去掉] all prefer quiet place and reading[to read in the quiet place]. My brother Tom, a brave and risk-taking[adventurous] person, whose majority of friends are keen on extram sport, such as hiking, skiing and pop-jumping.[这句话整个语法有问题,  Tom一个主语孤没有谓语,建议改成这样: friends of my brother Tom, who is  a brave and adventurous person, are keen on extram......或者直接分成两句话说My borther Tom is a brave and adventurous person. most of his friends, thereby, are.......] Every weekend, they get together and choose places[太Chinglish] to challenge[to so some extreme sports是这个意思不?]. In this event, how can you say [+that]we cannot judge a person by his or her friends?[这句感觉怪怪的 This example provides sufficient evidence to support the feasibility to judge a person by his or her friends这样你看行不?]

On the other hand, generally, good friends are tend to be made in the same field of job[same field of job always gives birth to friendship].They have same interesting topics in the career and often have more chances to communicate with each other.That is why pop-stars have more pop-star friends than common people. According to [如果这里用according to 就把后面的reveals去掉, 否则没主语了]a research made by Stanford University, a university with glittery reputation in the world, reveals that 67% of  people choose to make friends in the same career. It is the friends one make that shows one's job.[这里用it is...that...感觉和表达的意思不太匹配, 用can应该好点]

Nevertheless, some people argue that friends reflect nothing but one person's interest and occassion also make a couple of friends.[这句是虾米意思?] But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. If one just make friends at ramdon and show no preferrence, how can he find the friends most suit him[who suit him most]? The answer is simple: personality and same conversation topics.[这两句话之间的逻辑有问题,接不上]

For all the reasons listed, it is time to knowing a person through his or her friends instead of distrusting this thoery.[The theory that a person can be judged through his or her friends can not be denied.]

整个文章的思路没有问题 五段式 论点 例子 框架很到位!

问题如下: 我觉得LZ你的语法还是存在一定问题的, 包括从句的用法, 主谓等等 这些最基本的问题需要LZ最先解决 否则这些问题点缀在文章里让人看着不太舒服 很煞风景
              可以看出LZ再试着用一些短语来高亮文章, 这点是值得鼓励的, 但是用的时候一定要有把握用对 否则还不如不用...找几个自己觉得比较好的短语和词汇好好学习一下 然后熟练的运用到文章里去 这个肯定会加分的!
              LZ我觉得你的行文逻辑可能存在一点点问题 也可能是写着写着自己忘了 这篇文章里面又存在逻辑上接不上的句子 这个很要命 会使得文章不太连贯...写过一篇文章以后自己先多看几遍 把文字和思路理顺~

总之加油哦!!!没事儿看看CD里面的NN们写的那些作文真的能收获很多 咱们共勉哈~~

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤    时间: 2012-8-10 20:35
大家来找茬~~~

What is the major contribution of career success? Good relationship Having good relationship with other people who assist one in job or studying hard at school?(亲!这儿把名词形式的good relationship改成分词形式,可以和后面的studying形式上更加的对称哟~~~) From my perspective(perspective用的好,比opinion强~~~), diligent study during school time plays more crucial rule in future triumph in career.

On one hand, there is no doubt that the job one does in his field is highly related to what he has learned in university, which means that he applies the theories in his major to accomplish all the tasks in his position(这儿是我的观点哈~~可能有点小题大做啦~~ 你不用太在意,参考一下哈~~ 我觉得这儿which用的不好~~ which的指代,一般指代的是前面的名词,或者整个句子;但是你这儿which指代的是前面整个句子里面的宾语从句部分,我觉得这个用法可能不是很正确~~ 所以不妨把整个长句子分成两个短句子,eg:On one hand, there is no doubt that the job one does in his field is highly related to what he has learned in university. Actually, to accomplish all the tasks in his position, one should always applies the theories in his major ). Consider my brother Jack, an excellent lawyer in a leading law firm in Shanghai. Everyday(Every day 一般连在一起的everyday做adj用,时间状语的时候往往是分开的every day~~) he reviews the commercial contracts, including company contracts, trading ones and insurance ones(我不知道这儿你的两个~ing ones做什么用,但是有一个问题,这儿的ones指代不清,因为前面出现了两个复数名词,而且这儿用这个~ing ones导致句子结构有点混乱,你好好改一下哈~~~). Accordingly, what he has studied in university lays a solid foundation in his job. Without the knowledge, how can he has(have) such achievement nowadays?

On the other hand, the success of one's career reflects not only a strong ability in finishing the missions in study but also the desire for new knowledge. He or she(既然前面全是he,这儿也没必要为了男女平等来一个he or she啦~~~) will more willing to absorb new practical things in the process of doing job. A latest research found in the China Daily unveils that 85% of the successful entrepreneurs in China are also diligent in their school time, especially the period in university. The more one has learned, the more one will achieved. This is the principle which consented by all the(most) famous business men non-exclude Steve Jobs. It is studying hard that makes one more out-standing.

Nevertheless, hardly everyone can(can everyone) reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that without other people such as a boss or a leader, one has few chances to get what he wants, say higher position and more decent salary(这儿你自己改一下吧~~ 前面是few 后面是higher 和 more,前后不一致~~~ 而且我不清楚你这儿后面的high position是few chance to 后面的内容呢 还是和few chance并列~~ 我想你应该知道怎么改~~~). But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Only those who put all their energy into studying can attract others' assistant which brings a promising future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud diligent person instead of waiting for others' help(sorry~~这儿我真没理解你的意思~~所以我不知道怎么给你改~~ 但是一个问题,instead of 这儿用法肯定是错的,你这儿的结构是 人 instead of 动作,显然人和动作是不能比较的,所以前后比较对象不一致). God only help those who help themselves.                                    

鹤鹤说:
哈哈~~不要太震惊,鹤鹤属于喜欢鸡蛋挑骨头的~~ 所以满屏的蓝色~~ 不过其实问题也不是很严重的~~ 文章结构OK的,没问题~~~ 其实也还是细节啦~~ 我记得很久之前改过你的作文~~ 感觉比以前好不少啦~ 然后你这一片出现好一个并列结构前后不一致的,要注意哟~~

嗯,总的不错啦~~ 加油!继续努力哈~~~ Fighting!
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-11 16:09
8月11日
To improve the quality of education university should spend more money on salary for professor.

Whether to spend more money on salary for professors in order to elevate the quality of teaching? It emerges a tough decision among the universities in China even in other countries. From my perspective, university definitely should put more resource into professors' salary.

On one hand, with the increasing of the salary, professors are no longer worry about their daily life. The decent income enables them to meet the basic life demands. Accordingly, these professors will pay more attention on the education so that the students in the universities can enjoy sufficient knowledge conveyed by these professors. A latest studying founded in the Chinese Education, a magazine with glittery reputation, unveils that compare to the students in the poverty-stricken areas in China, the students in metropolitan cities such as Shanghai and Beijing are more out-standing. Under this circumstance, how can you say that professors' salary plays no role in education?

On the other hand, higher salary benefits not only the students but also the universities as well. The professors spare some of the salary to buy books and research facilities in their field so that their research level will be raised. My university, Peking University, in which all the professors are well paid shows the best case. Every month, my professor Jack, uses his salary to buy us foreign magazines with cutting-edge knowledge and purchases facilities to make class more colourful. All these can increase the research standard in a school.

Nevertheless, some people still argue that university should pay more on the hardware ,say, adding more books in the library or modifying condition in the classrooms to improve education. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The professors who interact with the students directly are always the major contribution in high education quality.

For all the reasons listed, we cannot deny that improving the salary of the professors shall be regarded as the priority in our schedule if we want to revitalize our nation in education.
作者: 浅吟天    时间: 2012-8-12 15:56
黄色模版加好的,绿色批注红色我改的



811
To improve the quality of education university should spend more money on salary for professor.

Whether to spend more money on salary for professors in order to elevate the quality of teaching? It emerges a tough decision among the universities in China even in other countries. From my perspective, university definitely should put more resource into professors' salary.

On one hand, with the increasing of the salary, professors are no longer worry about their daily life. The decent income enables them to meet the basic life demands.
(叫兽有这么穷吗)Accordingly, these professors will pay more attention on the education so that the students in the universities can enjoy sufficient knowledge conveyed by these professors. A latest studying founded in the Chinese Education, a magazine with glittery reputation, unveils that compare (comparing)to the students in the poverty-stricken areas in China, the students in metropolitan cities such as Shanghai and Beijing are more out-standing. Under this circumstance, how can you say that professors' salary plays no role in education?(大都市学生优秀,就能说是老师教的好吗,同时大都市=老师工资高吗?老师工资高=spend more money on salary? Lz应该再阐述一下几者关系)

On the other hand, higher salary benefits not only the students but also the universities as well. The professors spare some of the salary to buy books and research facilities in their field so that their research level will be raised. My university, Peking University
(哇,这是举例子还是真的,lz好牛啊。。。), in which all the professors are well paid shows the best case. Every month, my professor Jack, uses his salary to buy us foreign magazines with cutting-edge knowledge and purchases(与to buy 并列的话purchase facilities to make class more colourful. All these can increase the research standard in a school.

Nevertheless, some people still argue that university should pay more on the hardware ,say,
(这句没看懂,say是跟哪句的?) adding more books in the library or modifying condition in the classrooms to improve education. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The professors who interact with the students directly are always the major contribution in high education quality.

For all the reasons listed, we cannot deny that improving the salary of the professors shall be regarded as the priority in our schedule if we want to revitalize
(我标的黄色,是个好词,但觉得振兴中华教育有点夸张,之前也并没说中国现在教育就很有问题啊) our nation in education.



1,是这样子的,又读了几遍题目,“To improve the quality of education university should spend more money on salary for professor为提高教育质量学校应不应该花钱给老师加工资。论点在于给老师加工资与教育质量的关系,到底有木有效。lz倒数第二段写的把钱放在其他项目上与教育的关系。有点偏题

2,有些例子不是很恰当,比如教授在温饱线上挣扎,建议再斟酌一下哈~~

3,语法木有问题,错误很少

一起讨论!!
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-14 11:40
8月14日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place


With abundant of cutting-edge technologies emerge every minute and every second, some people assert with full confidence that we have finished all the improvement to raise people's living standard. I, on the contrary, think that we still have long way to go to accomplish all the significant breakthrough in human history, although we enjoy advanced technology.



On one hand, the environmental problems still pose a huge threat to human beings' life and should be settled immediately. Science and technology bring us great convenience in our daily life, meanwhile, they also have negative impact on the environment. Car emission polluted fresh air and chemical substances contaminated clean lacks. People nowadays are more likely to suffer from diseases such as lung cancer caused by environmental pollution. Under this circumstance, many countries in the world start to set up policies and laws to deal with these problems. But the result is so tiny that the environment is still worsening. Obviously, people still have a lot of work to do in tackling the environmental issues.



On the other hand, population explosion also should be putted on the to-do list. As the population increasing at an alarming rate, resources become exhausted and various conflicts are around corner. A latest study found in China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 75% of the developing countries feel overwhelming when facing exceed population, especially in the poverty-stricken areas. It lowers the living standard of people and education quality, which are the obstacle for a country to step forward. It is the population issues that need our attention.



Nevertheless, hardly can every people reach to a consensus. Some people argue that in majority of countries world wide, people live in a prosperity life and have achieved a high quality of life, so we can say that the improvements have already taken place. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Only when all people in the earth can enjoy same level life can we say we have finished our task.



For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud continuing progress in our life instead of contenting the current situation. What the endeavor we do will benefit not only ourselves but also the next generation.
作者: 夏之鱼语    时间: 2012-8-15 09:29
标题: 8.14 修改
With abundant of cutting-edge technologies emerge every minute and every second, some people assert with full confidence that we have finished all the improvement to raise people's living standard. I, on the contrary, think that we still have long way to go to accomplish all the significant breakthrough in human history, although we enjoy advanced technology.




On one hand, the environmental problems still pose a huge threat to human beings' life and should be settled immediately. Science and technology bring us great convenience in our daily life, meanwhile, they also have negative impact on the environment. Car emission polluted fresh air and chemical substances contaminated clean lacks. People nowadays are more likely to suffer from diseases such as lung cancer caused by environmental pollution. Under this circumstance, many countries in the world start to set up policies and laws to deal with these problems. But the result is so tiny that the environment is still worsening. Obviously, people still have a lot of work to do in tackling the environmental issues.



On the other hand, population explosion also should be putted on the to-do list. As the population increasing at an alarming rate, resources become exhausted and various conflicts are around corner. A latest study found in China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 75% of the developing countries feel overwhelming when facing exceed population, especially in the poverty-stricken areas. It lowers the living standard of people and education quality, which are the obstacle for a country to step forward. It is the population issues that need our attention.



Nevertheless, hardly can every people reach to a consensus.+in this statement reach 什么consensus,没有发挥主旨句点名主旨的作用】 Some people argue that in majority of countries world wideworldwide, people live in a prosperity life and have achieved a high quality of life, so we can say that the improvements have already taken place. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Only when all people in the earth can enjoy same level life can we say we have finished our task.



For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud continuing progress in our life instead of contenting the current situation. What the endeavor we do will benefit not only ourselves but also the next generation.


写的很好,语句流畅,语法也没有什么问题,特别是用词很灵活。挑不出什么刺来~~

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-17 17:18
8.17 TPO15
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the measures to control the spreading of the cane toad. In the professor's opinion, it is not easy to prevent its multiplying and none of the measures will be successful and they will cause damage to the environment.

The lecture contradicts the first point in the passage that building a national fence will have some effects, since the fence will prevent cane toad's spreading to the land. On the contrary, the professor argues that the river, which carries the young eggs of the toad will flow from one place to another. This means that the eggs will go through the fence and populate on the land. So, this measure is ineffective.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the toads can be eliminated by volunteers. While the professor points out that these untrained volunteers will pose a huge threat to the environment since they are unable to distinguish cane toads and frogs. As a result, some endangered frogs may also be destroyed by these volunteers.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last point in the reading material that it is may be useful to develop a disease-causing virus to diminish the population of the toads. The professor reminds us that this method will damage the original habitat of the toads. Virus will spread from Australia to America and transfer to other continents in America. Because these infected toads will also spread to America and affect other population. In fact, cane toad is native to America and part of the eco-system in America. Consequently, this measure will do harm to the environme
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-17 17:19
8.15
Is the most important characteristic of a good political or business leader is the ability to take responsibility or mistakes?

What is the most crucial feature of an excellent leader? Intelligence, communicate efficiency and trust-worthy may be the prevalent answer for majority of people.  I, however, believe that the ability to take responsibility or mistakes should top the list.

On one hand, only the leader who always takes responsibility can control the whole situation. All the aspects should be taken into consideration when solving the problems and conflicts in the process of policy and business, such as the feeling of the members and the consequence of the decision-making. Without a strong sense of responsibility, one cannot tackle these problems with others' satisfactory. A latest study made by China Daily, one of the most wide-spread newspaper in China, unveils that in the most developed countries in the world, 80% of the political leaders are equipped with the strong responsibility, meanwhile, 70% of common residents said that taking responsibility is the major contribution of their prosperous life. It is the ability to take responsibility that make a better country.

On the other hand, taking mistakes is also an important feature we should not overlook. Taking mistakes helps a leader to find the weak point about himself and the group. Learning from it and absorbing the experience so that avoiding making same mistakes in the next time. I grant sincere gratitude to my boss, Mary, she never blames the inferior employees for her own mistakes and corrects the mistakes by herself. As a result, all the members in our department respect her very much and even work harder to cooperate with her job. All the harmonious atomosphere inspire us to be out-standing. Under this situation, how can you say taking mistakes erects no effect on a good leader?

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud taking responsibility or mistakes instead of encouraging the unpractical characteristic of leaders. This will benefit not only the leaders themselves but also the nation as a whole.
作者: T不死    时间: 2012-8-18 01:44
8.17
Is the most important characteristic of a good political or business leader is the ability to take responsibility or mistakes?

What is the most crucial feature of an excellent leader? Intelligence, communicate efficiency and trust-worthy may be the prevalent
answeranswers for majority of peoplefor majority of people 建议放开头读起来比较自然.  I, however, believe that the ability to take responsibility or (for) mistakes should top the list.

On one hand, only the leader who always takes responsibility can control the whole situation. All the aspects should be taken into consideration when solving the problems and conflicts in the process of policy and business, such as the feeling of the members and the consequence of the decision-making. Without a strong sense of responsibility, one cannot tackle these problems with others' satisfactory
(该句是唯一支持有责任才能控制局面,感觉有点弱,最好再丰富些,例如有责任心后,就会对问题进行充分思考,研究,然后激励领导者去解决问题,控制问题). A latest study made by China Daily, one of the most wide-spread newspaper (newspapers) in China, unveils that in the most developed countries in the world, 80% of the political leaders are equipped with the strong responsibility, meanwhile, 70% of common residents said that taking responsibility is the major contribution of their prosperous life(感觉后面的residerntsprosperous life 和全文的论点没有关系,可以修改成本70%的人们认为responsibility 是判定合格领导者素质的重要因素). It is the ability to take responsibility that make a better country.

On the other hand, taking mistakes is also an important feature we should not overlook
(这段把话题重心放在了taking mistakes的论据,感觉有点偏离论点,论点应该是用于承担错误的责任很重要,focus 在责任上面,而不是在 make mistakes上面。例如如果一个领导者经常犯错误,但就是不承担责任,这样的领导者是不合格的。). Taking mistakes helps a leader to find the weak point about himself and the group. Learning from it and absorbing the experience so that avoiding making same mistakes in the next time(这句感觉主谓宾不全,可以直接改为Learning from the previous lessons and absorbing the experience, the leader, who are completely responsible for the the mistakes, can avoid make the same fault repeatedly. I grant sincere gratitude to my boss, Mary, (加连词because) she never blames the inferior employees for her own mistakes and corrects the mistakes by herself. As a result, all the members in our department respect her very much and even work harder to cooperate with her job. All the harmonious atmospheres inspire us to be out-standing. Under this situation, how can you say taking mistakes erects (takes) no effect on a good leader? (这段楼主可以把分论点再修改下,例子是不错的)

For all the reasons listed
, it is time to applaud(有点口语化,还是我没有掌握该用法) taking responsibility or mistakes instead of encouraging the unpractical characteristic of leaders. This will benefit not only the leaders themselves but also the nation as a whole(感觉和benefit the nation 不是很搭边,只是一个调查数据).

最后一段如果时间不够,建议直接套用模本,对第一段用其它句式进行复试。这个会保险点。

总体文章的结构还是比较清晰,例子也不错,调查的例子和老板的例子都很生动。 如果能把论点和论据结合得逻辑点,就很perfect的啦。加油

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-18 16:44
8.18
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before.

Will you resort to your family when you encounter some difficulties in your life? Will you regard the assistance from family members as the major contribution to your success? Some people may attribute their success to their own endeavor. I, however, think that compare to the past time, we are more likely to achieve triumph under family members' help.

On one hand, cutting-edge technology enables us to communicate with our family with ease when we face the difficulties. Telephone, E-mail and Skype are play crucial role in our daily life for communication. I want to grant sincere gratitude to the advanced technology when I applied for university far away from my parents. At that time, I really needed their opinion and felt stress in preparing the college entrance exam. They encouraged me every time we interacted through Facetime and gave me viewpoint about the decision. Under their constant assistance and encouragement,  I have enrolled by my dream school Peking University in China. Without the current technology, I cannot go through the down time in such a short time.

On the other hand, with the increasing education standard, people have enlarged their knowledge so that they are equipped with far-sight ability. Which means that people are mutual understand and give more useful ideas. A latest study made by China Daily, the most prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 86% of people, especially the youth are more incline to talk with their family members nowadays. The help from their family members are indispensable in their life.

Nevertheless, hardly can every one reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that it is not easy for people in this cultural diversity world to accept others opinion. The conflicts and general gap are the best case for this issue. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The more people benefit from their family's assistance the more they will communicate with them.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more communication between family members instead of seeking other methods to gain success. With the development of the society, it is no loner a tough mission to find their support.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-18 17:13
TPO16
The lecture completely rejects the main idea shown in the passage about the problems and limitations in Britain in old archaeology protection. In the professor's opinion, the new rules and guide lines implemented in Britain change the situation.

The lecture contradicts the first point in the passage that many artifacts were lost due to the construction project. On the contrary, the professor argues that because of the new rules, there is always an exam before the construction project by archaeologists to estimate its value and interests. Then the local government and the specialists will have plan to protect it before the construction.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that lacking financial support from government is another main reason for the loss of the artifacts. The professor points out that, in fact, this work is done by the construction companies now. They pay for the protection plan and have new resources, which make far greater protection for the archaeology site.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that it is difficult to have job in the field of archaeology. On the other hand, the professor reminds us that payment of the work is sufficient in all the stages from exam to protection plan. This increases the chances for this career and attracts more people to get this job. Now the number of people in this job is in its highest peak.
作者: margrate    时间: 2012-8-18 18:55
标题: 0817
TPO 15 Watching

The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the measures to control the spreading of the cane toad. In the professor's opinion, it is not easy to prevent its multiplying and none of the measures will be successful and they will cause damage to the environment.

The lecture contradicts the first point in the passage that building a national fence will have some effects, since the fence will prevent cane toad's spreading
to the land(这里漏掉一个小点:to the land where has not been colonized.. On the contrary, the professor argues that the river, which carries the young eggs of the toad will flow from one place to another. This means that the eggs will go through the fence and populate on the land. So, this measure is ineffective.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the toads can be eliminated by volunteers. (这里定语从句的先行词是author?) While the professor points out that these untrained volunteers will pose a huge threat to the environmentsince they are unable to distinguish cane toads and frogs. As a result, some endangered frogs may also be destroyed by these volunteers.
关于这个since 的用法,虽然也可以引导原因从句,但通常置于首句,比because的要弱
Finally, the listening material challenges the last
point in the reading material that it is may be useful to develop a disease-causing virus to diminish the population of the toads. (我可以看得出这里的that是来修饰Point的吧?那你的point做定语从句的什么成分呢?)The professor reminds us that this method will damage the original habitat of the toads. Virus will spread from Australia to America and transfer to other continents in America这里有一点小小的逻辑错误,是transfer to other continents, such as America.Because these infected toads will also spread to America and affect other population (àspecies). In fact, cane toad is native to America and part of the eco-system in America. Consequently, this measure will do harm to the environment.



总体很不错,条例很清晰。练习时再多注意听力中的细枝末节吧。加油!

哪里说的不对要告诉我哦!

作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-8-20 01:49
8.18改文
8.18
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before.

Will you resort to your family when you encounter some difficulties in your life? Will you regard the assistance from family members as the major contribution to your success? Some people may attribute their success to their own endeavor. I, however, think that compare to the past time, we are more likely to achieve triumph under family members' help.

On one hand, cutting-edge technology enables us to communicate with our family with ease when we face the difficulties. Telephone, E-mail(记得好像是T里面不让缩写的and Skype are play crucial(还有critical/pivot role in our daily life for communication. I want to grant sincere gratitude to the advanced technology when I applied for university far away from my parents(这个地方建议换个表达方式,without my parents' company,要不然可能会误以为是申请一个远离父母的大学~). At that time, I really needed their opinion and felt stressstressed in preparing the college entrance exam. They encouragedhearten也行哦,替代后面的encouragement重复了 me every time we interacted(这个词怪怪的,不是相互作用吗?换成聊天conversed) through Facetime and gave me viewpoint about the decision. Under their constant assistance and encouragementI have enrolled by my dream school(加个破折号?)Peking University in China. Without the current technology, I cannot go through the down timelow ebb低谷,低迷时期的时期,这样就不会跟后面的time重复了 in such a short time.

On the other hand, with the increasing education standard, people have enlarged their knowledge so that they are equipped with far-sight ability(其实说更容易接受意见,尤其是家人的建议,尽量跟education扯上关系)(这个TS没有点出family的作用.(缺少逗号一枚)Which means that people are mutual understand and give more useful ideas.  A latest study made by China Daily, the most prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 86% of people, especially the youth are more incline(注意inclined用形容词形式哦 to talk with their family members nowadays. (中间加几句过度的话,比如说正是因为大家更喜欢和家人聊天了,加之教育程度提高,更易接受family help,从而获得成功,注意把这个因果关系体现出来The help from their family members are indispensable in their life.

Nevertheless, hardly can every one reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that it is not easy for people in this cultural diversity(如果是修饰world,就改成world of multi-culture difference world to accept others opinion(others' opinions). The conflicts and general gap are the best case(cases)for this issue. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The more people benefit from their family's assistance the more they will communicate with them.(感觉这里缺少一个例子)

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more communication between family members instead of seeking other methods to gain success. With the development of the society, it is no loner a tough mission to find their support.



Conclusion

1.切题点很好,婷婷当时写的时候都快想破脑袋了,怎么感觉每段越写约少?

2.后两个主段落的结尾有点突兀,要么来点过度语句,要么举个例子,不然显得很空洞

3.最后,语言很顺畅,赞一个~

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-20 20:48
8.20
With the increasing desire for seeking success and realize oneself in the job, myriad of people donate their time to their career. Indeed, decent payment, triumph and high position have replaced the colourful social life in our life. From my perspective, career affects our happiness more than the tedious job does.

On one hand, social life enables us to be acquainted with many people, old and young, men and women, who have different life experiences. When communicating with them, one can enjoy a totally different life, someone even gain useful ideas in the job or life from the social life. A latest study made by China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 78% of people regarded the social life as their best way to relax. Social life enriches people's life and 60% of people even like to share their sadness and happiness with their friends. Under this circumstance, how can you say that social life has no impact on one's happiness?

On the other hand, the friends we have in the social life also play crucial roles in one's job. How do you deal with the difficulties in your job? Majority of my co-workers will resort to their friends at first. Assistance from the friends always let me feel warm and happy. I want to grant sincere gratitude to my best friend, Mary, who constantly give me a lot of help when I feel depressed in my job. She gives me the opinion and shares with me the happy things in her life. All these make me recover immediately. It is social life that inspires one to step forward.

Nevertheless, hardly can everyone reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that hard work in job realizes our big dream such as promotion and higher salary and more opportunities of training. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Without social life, one just feels lonely whatever he acquires. That is why many successful guys also have many good friends.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud enjoying social life instead of just sticking in the office. It benefits not only our job but also our life.
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-21 16:12
TPO19
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the controversy of the buzzling pointed out by critics. In the buzzer's opinion, the opinions in the passage are totally misleading and not impressive.

The buzzer contradicts the first point in the passage that the buzzers are always paid to lie to people, which deprives the basic rights of the consumers to knowing the truth. On the contrary, the buzzer contends that the companies only pay those who have used the products and really think the products are good. Buzzling is not like common television advertisements. The buzzers are paid to tell the truth. So, this point is unconvincing.

The buzzer goes on to oppose the claim of the author that consumers will become less critical when facing buzzers' words. The buzzer argues that, in fact, many consumers will ask a lot of questions about the products the buzzers recommend such as the services and use period. If the buzzers cannot give satisfied questions, the consumer will not buy the products.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that the buzzling may have negative impact on the social relationship. On the other hand, the buzzer reminds us that if the products are not good enough, the companies will not recruiting buzzers to praise them. Only the people who really love the products can be fully trusted by consumers and open the consumers their experience.
作者: 桃花影子    时间: 2012-8-21 17:50
8.20
With the increasing desire for seeking success and realize oneself in the job, myriad of people donate their time to their career. Indeed, decent payment, triumph and high position have replaced the colourful social life in our life.
(若是转折的话感觉加上一个however可能会好些。) From my perspective, career affects our happiness more than the tedious job does.

On one hand, social life enables us to be acquainted with many people, old and young, men and women, who
(这里的who感觉指代太多了,and these people often或许好些~还能增加字数。) have different life experiences. When communicating with them, one can enjoy a totally different life, someone even gain useful ideas in the job or life from the social life. A latest study made by China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 78% of people regarded the social life as their best way to relax. Social life enriches people's life and 60% of people(这句话有问题吧。) even like to share their sadness and happiness with their friends. Under this circumstance, how can you say(个人觉得这样的话最好别用吧,免得考官看到不爽~呵呵) that social life has no impact on one's happiness?

On the other hand, the friends we have in the social life also play crucial roles in one's job. How do you deal with the difficulties in your job? Majority of my co-workers will resort to their friends at first. Assistance from the friends always let
make me feel warm and happy. I want to grant sincere gratitude to my best friend, Mary, who constantly gives me a lot of help when I feel depressed in my job. She gives me the opinion and shares with me the happy things in her life. All these make me recover immediately. It is social life that inspires one to step forward.

Nevertheless,
hardly can everyone reach to such a consensus.(nice~) Some people argue that hard work in job realizes our big dreams such as promotion,and higher salary and more opportunities of training. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Without social life, one just feels lonely whatever he acquires. That is why many successful guys also have(need会不会好些~) many good friends.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud enjoying social life instead of just sticking in the office. It benefits not only our job but also our life.



能够运用比较formal的词汇和短语挺不错的~文章也有自己的看法。只是在逻辑和句子结构方面稍作加强就好~加油

作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-21 21:02
The friends that you can have fun with is more important than the friends that you can help from.

What kind of friends play  more important role in your life? The friends who can bring you happiness or the friends who always offer their immediate assistance without hesitation? There always goes an old saying, a friend indeed is a friend in need. From my perspective, I prefer the friends I can gain help from.

On one hand, the friends who give us help are the most crucial part in the progress of our life. They help us to make breakthrough in our life, wipe out obstacles in our work and point out the week point in our study. Compare to the superficial fun such as some jokes, television serious and pop-star concerts. The progress we made with our friends are more unforgettable in our life. I grant sincere gratitude to my best friend Mary, who always help me in my math course during the time I prepared for the college entrance exam. Through the combination efforts between us, I had enrolled in my dream university, Peking University.

On the other hand, one will feel unhappy when facing the difficulties in his life, at that time, what he needs is also the help from his friends rather than some funny entertainments. A latest study made by China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 70% of people treasure their friends who can vender assistance to them most. Since these kinds of friends are the most reliable person in their life, only with whom can they feel real warmness and happiness.

Nevertheless, hardly can all the people reach such a consensus. Some people argue that the people who are enable to bring us fun are more welcome than those who are not able to, which means that they are significant to more people. But I will not walk away from  my viewpoint. A friendship without mutual assistance never lasts long. That is why the people who are willing to help others have more endurable friendship.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud the friends who never hesitate to help others instead of those who reluctant to offer their warm-heart. It benefits not only the friend himself but also us.
作者: 婷婷connie    时间: 2012-8-22 16:56
改文
The friends that you can have fun with is more important than the friends that you can help from.

What kind of friends play more important role in your life? (开头反问很好~The friends who can bring you happiness or the friends who always offer their immediate assistance without hesitation? There always goes an old saying, a friend indeed is a friend in need. From my perspective, I prefer the friends (把from 提前,写成from whomI can gain help from.

On one hand, the friends who give us help are the most crucial part in the progress of our life. They help us to make breakthrough in our life, wipe out obstacles in our work and point out the week pointweaknessin our study. Compare to the superficial fun such as some jokes, television serious(series是电视连续剧吧?) and pop-star concerts. The progress(用过了,换成improvement we made (together) with our friends are more unforgettable in our life. I grant sincere gratitude to my best friend Mary, who always help(helps) me in my math course during the time I prepared for the college entrance exam. Through the combination(这个不准确,用joint efforts between us(删掉), I had enrolled in my dream university, Peking University.

On the other hand, one will feel unhappy when facing the difficulties in his life, at that time, what he needs is also the helpcomfort/solacefrom his friends rather than some funny entertainments. A latest study made by China Daily, a prevalent newspaper in China, unveils that 70% of people treasure their friends who can vender(render)assistance to them most. Since these kinds (this kind表特指,两肋插刀的朋友)of friends are the most reliable personpersons in their life, only with whom can they feel real warmness and happiness.

Nevertheless, hardly can all the people reach such a consensus.(倒装很漂亮) Some people argue that the people who are enable to bring us fun are more welcome than those who are not able to, which means that they are significant to more people. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. A friendship without mutual assistance never lasts long. That is why the people who are willing to help others have more endurable friendship.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud the friends who never hesitate to help others instead of those who arereluctant to offer their warm-heart. It benefits not only the friend himself but also usus but also himself这样的顺序更好.



Conclusion:

1.注意单复数问题

2.个别词用得不准确

3.句式用得不错

4.写的棒棒的~

作者: winnie98    时间: 2012-8-22 19:38
TPO19
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the controversy of the buzzling pointed out by critics. In the buzzer's opinion, the opinions in the passage are totally misleading and not impressive.

The buzzer contradicts the first point in the passage that the buzzers are always paid to lie to people, which deprives the basic rights of the consumers to knowing the truth(deprive···of···我知道,但是后面接的to doing木有查到这种用法耶). On the contrary, the buzzer contends that the companies only pay those who have used the products and really think the products are good. Buzzling is not like common television advertisements. The buzzers are paid to tell the truth. So(最后用其他词替代,so太口语了), this point is unconvincing.

The buzzer goes on to oppose the claim of the author that consumers will become less critical when facing buzzers' words. The buzzer argues that, in fact, many consumers will ask a lot of questions about the products the buzzers recommend such as the services and use period. If the buzzers cannot give satisfied(令人满意应该是satisfactory) questions, the consumer will not buy the products.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that the buzzling may have negative impact on the social relationship. On the other hand, the buzzer reminds us that if the products are not good enough, the companies will not recruiting buzzers to praise them. Only the people who really love the products can be fully trusted by consumers and open the consumers their experience.


全文结构清晰,细节也给的很到位。
注意下个别地方就好O(∩_∩)O
作者: lxc1989614    时间: 2012-8-24 18:27
The most important investment of a company is to improve the work skill of its employees

Whether to improve the work skill of the employees or to elevate the condition in the company building? It is always a headache question for the companies to answer. From my perspective, the work skill of the employees in a company plays more crucial rule rather than other aspects do.

On one hand, high level work skill is the impetus to higher productivity, which means the avenue of the company will be increased immediately. Think about a firm equipped with low efficiency workers, how can one say that the company will be promising? A latest study made by Fudan University, one of the universities in China with glittery reputation, unveils that among the 500 listed companies in China, 85% regard the work skill as their priority when making investment plan. Meanwhile, the annual outcome increasing is also highly related to the workers' performance. It is high level work skill that makes a company outstanding.

On the other hand, high level of work skill also prevents the workers from damaging in the work, which causes devastation consequence. I want to grant my sincere gratitude to my company, General Electricity. It arranges the training for all the workers from time to time and makes inspection constantly. All these efforts are the major contribution to the low accident rate in the plant. It is not uncommon to know the news that a job injury leads to the collapse of a company because of the boss's overlooking to the work skill. Under this circumstance, there is nothing but work skill should be the first on the to-do list of a good company.

Nevertheless, hardly can all people reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that only when the workers in a comfortable condition can they perform well in their career, so the leaders should put more emphasis on the hardware in a company. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Spacious offices, advanced equipments do good to employees. Work skill, however, is the core of a company and will create a harmonious climate in a company, which is more necessary.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud investment in work skill instead of building condition.  High level work skill will benefit not only the employees themselves but also the company as a whole.




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