ChaseDream

标题: 【写作小分队】sang的作文贴，求狠拍！ [打印本页]

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-4 18:18
标题: 【写作小分队】sang的作文贴，求狠拍！
5.4 独立

It is undeniable that money plays an indispensable part in our everyday life and supplies us all life can offer. However, when it comes to the issue whether the main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status, it becomes a controversial one because people have different background and values. As far as I’m concerned, I strongly refute the idea that money is more important than social status.
To start with, money can only provide us with material enjoyment in contradiction with social status, offering us spiritual enjoyment. People dies and their wealth will finally disappear, however, it is their social status remain immortal. Mother Teresa, who spend her whole life time assisting people who need help, poor as she was, she was remembered by people all over the world and her spirit has a profound influence and never ceases growing with us. Chopin, who even cannot afford an apartment through his lifetime, composed plenty of classical compositions which inspire thousands of people to move forward when confronted with difficulties. The examples above best demonstrate the importance of social status, there is no excuse to make money the major purpose for people who have jobs.
Secondly, it is not uncommon that when someone succeed in obtaining social status, wealth and approval follow in succession. The founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, created the apple company just at the mere ambition to change the world. As a result, not only did his products enjoy gigantic popularity among people all round world, but also did he become one of the most affluent people in the world.
Last but not the least, money functions as something that satisfies our human being, in this way, we should by no means work just for money and make us the slaves of money. People who work intending to earn money as much as possible as can carelessly neglect the beauty and happiness of life. Nothing can be compared, with the joyful smile from their children’s face, the praise from their parents or even the leisure time when a family stay together around the table or in front of the television. Never let money get in your way of enjoying the happiest moment in life.
In conclusion, in view of social influence and personal reputation, we can never emphasize too much on money. Each individual is supposed to make efforts to attain social statue rather than wealth.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-4 18:22
5,4综合

The reading passage mentions three theories endeavoring to determine how the ”Great houses” in twelfth century A.D were used before. However, in the listening part, the professor strongly contradicts each proposal by stating sufficient evidence.
To start with, the professor casts doubt on the application of residence by indicating that although the outside look of these houses seems suitable for residential, the inside part shows strong evidences against it. On the one hand, the house has only few fire places, which were an indispensable placement for each family, even the largest room has a fire place which was just suitable for a family with 10 members. On the other hand, the lack of gigantic room also illustrate the viewpoint against the passage.
Moreover, the statement of storing food supplies cannot satisfy the professor either, by pointing out that excavation shows no evidence of maize or even maize container, the professor weakens the statement above. Furthermore, he also mentions that maize and remaining of big containers were found on the floor, a situation totally contradicts the proof of keeping food.
Last but not the least, the passage states that the houses also have a function as ceremonial center. On the contrary, the professor challenges the proposal, saying that more other material than broken pots were found in the houses, most of them were building material such as sand and stone, a preservation of residual construction material when building was also a strong proof against the assumption.

作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-5-5 09:07
红色为错误，蓝色为修改建议或疑惑，高亮为精彩。
The reading passage mentions three theories endeavoring to determine how the ”Great houses” in twelfth century A.D were used before. However, in the listening part, the professor strongly contradicts each proposal by stating sufficient evidence.

To start with, the professor casts doubt on the application of residence by indicating that although the outside look of these houses seems suitable for residential(residents/dwelling; residential是adj.用n.或者v.ing比较好), the inside part shows strong evidences against it. On the one hand, the house has only few fire places, which were an indispensableplacement(?) for each family, even the largest room has a fire place which was just suitable for a family with 10 members. (这里我听的是there were fireplaces for only around ten families. )On the other hand, the lack of gigantic room also illustrate(s)the viewpoint against the passage.

Moreover, the statement of storing food supplies cannot satisfy the professor either, by pointing out that excavation shows no evidence of maize or even maize container, the(.The是不是改另起一句了...)professor weakens the statement above. Furthermore, he also mentions that maize and remaining of big containers were found on the floor, (这个地方我觉得是不是写反了，应该是没有在地上发现更多的散落的玉米、没有更多大号容器的痕迹)a situation totally contradicts the proof of keeping food.

Last but not the least, the passage states that the houses also have a function as ceremonial center. On the contrary, the professor challenges the proposal, saying that more other material than broken pots were found in the houses, most of them were building material such as sand and stone, a preservation of residual construction material when building was also a strong proof against the assumption. (我觉得这一段还可以补充一点点细节，比如说这个山是个垃圾堆啊或者说pots都是建筑工人喝水用的等等。)

【CONCLUSION】很棒的语言表达，很精彩的文章，美中不足是听力的细节不是很准确。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-5 10:21

红色为错误，蓝色为修改建议或疑惑，高亮为精彩。
The reading passage mentions three theories endeavoring to determine how the ”Great houses” in twelfth century A.D were used before. However, in the listening part, the professor strongly contradicts each proposal by stating sufficient evidence.

To start with, the professor casts doubt on the application of residence by indicating that although the outside look of these houses seems suitable for residential(residents/dwelling; residential是adj.用n.或者v.ing比较好), the inside part shows strong evidences against it. On the one hand, the house has only few fire places, which were an indispensableplacement(?) for each family, even the largest room has a fire place which was just suitable for a family with 10 members. (这里我听的是there were fireplaces for only around ten families. )On the other hand, the lack of gigantic room also illustrate(s)the viewpoint against the passage.

Moreover, the statement of storing food supplies cannot satisfy the professor either, by pointing out that excavation shows no evidence of maize or even maize container, the(.The是不是改另起一句了...)professor weakens the statement above. Furthermore, he also mentions that maize and remaining of big containers were found on the floor, (这个地方我觉得是不是写反了，应该是没有在地上发现更多的散落的玉米、没有更多大号容器的痕迹)a situation totally contradicts the proof of keeping food.

Last but not the least, the passage states that the houses also have a function as ceremonial center. On the contrary, the professor challenges the proposal, saying that more other material than broken pots were found in the houses, most of them were building material such as sand and stone, a preservation of residual construction material when building was also a strong proof against the assumption. (我觉得这一段还可以补充一点点细节，比如说这个山是个垃圾堆啊或者说pots都是建筑工人喝水用的等等。)

【CONCLUSION】很棒的语言表达，很精彩的文章，美中不足是听力的细节不是很准确。

-- by 会员晨依Jacqueline (2012/5/5 9:07:10)

谢谢晨依！听力是遗漏了很多诶..还是不会记笔记，一记就来不及遗漏很多..掩面55

作者: miss绿光 时间: 2012-5-5 10:35

It is undeniable that[注1] money plays an indispensable part in our everyday life and supplies us all life can offer. However, when it comes to the issue whether the main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status, it becomes a controversial one because people have different background and values [这句话让我感觉sang是考过G的孩纸,但是这句话在T里面有"废话"嫌疑,最好不要]. As far as I’m concerned, I strongly refute the idea that money is more important than social status.

To start with, money can only provide us with material enjoyment in contradiction with social status , offering us spiritual enjoyment[in contradiction with有修饰enjoyment的嫌疑,会造成表意不清,可以改为:material enjoyment; In contradiction, social status offers us spiritual enjoyment.更加简洁与清晰,]. People dies and their wealth will finally disappear, however, it is their social status remain immortal. Mother Teresa[赞例子!!!!], who spend her whole life time assisting people who need help, poor as she was[经典优秀表达!好!], she was remembered by people all over the world and her spirit has a profound influence and never ceases growing with us [这句话and的并列有点别扭,时态也不是很一样.可以改为: she was remembered by people all over the world, with her spirit influencing the world profoundly and never ceasing growing with us. 或者在第一个and前加上逗号,使前后两个时态隔离开]. Chopin[例子好!], who even cannot afford an apartment through his lifetime, composed plenty of classical compositions which inspire thousands of people to move forward when ~~confronted~~ confronting with difficulties. The examples above best demonstrate the importance of social status, [怎么重要呢?可以再次呼应前文,加:which brings us tremendous spiritual enjoyment that money can never create], there is no excuse to make money the major purpose for people who have jobs.

Secondly, it is not uncommon that[注1] when someone succeed in obtaining social status, wealth and approval follow in succession. The founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, created the apple company just at the mere ambition to change the world. As a result, not only did his products enjoy gigantic popularity among people all round world, but also did he become one of the most affluent people in the world[后半句不要求倒装] .
Last but not the least, money functions as something that satisfies [有点累赘,可以直接: functions to satisfy] our human being, in this way, we should by no means work just for money and make us the slaves of money. People who work ~~intending~~ to earn money as much as possible as[三个as了,最后一个可以去掉] can carelessly neglect the beauty and happiness of life. Nothing can be compared, with the joyful smile from their children’s face, the praise from their parents or even the leisure time when a family stay together around the table or in front of the television. Never let money get in your way of enjoying the happiest moment in life.

In conclusion, in view of social influence and personal reputation, we can never emphasize too much on ~~money~~ [是social status吧?] Each individual is supposed to make efforts to attain social statue rather than wealth.
personal opinion:
这三个论点我最喜欢的也是我觉得最有说服力的是第一点.将比较贯穿始终.后两个观点就没有像第一个观点那么鲜明了~尤其是第一段的例子,超棒!
另外,sang同学估计看过好句35~好多里面的表达^^运用的很好~
注1:我考完G以后也特别喜欢写这种句子,但其实非常不简洁.在G里面我是有点凑字数的感觉,但是T不太喜欢这种.还有你第一段里的controversial,出题人会觉得,我出的题本来就是两面都可以写的,当然controversial,要不都一面倒有啥可出的?
回到it is....that的句型,其实第一处可以改为: undeniably;第二处可以改为: Not surprisingly.这两个放于句首,又简洁,又明了!

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-5 12:58

It is undeniable that[注1] money plays an indispensable part in our everyday life and supplies us all life can offer. However, when it comes to the issue whether the main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status, it becomes a controversial one because people have different background and values [这句话让我感觉sang是考过G的孩纸,但是这句话在T里面有"废话"嫌疑,最好不要].As far as I’m concerned, I strongly refute the idea that money is more important than social status.

To start with, money can only provide us with material enjoyment in contradiction with social status , offering us spiritual enjoyment[in contradiction with有修饰enjoyment的嫌疑,会造成表意不清,可以改为:material enjoyment; In contradiction, social status offers us spiritual enjoyment.更加简洁与清晰,]. People dies and their wealth will finally disappear, however, it is their social status remain immortal. Mother Teresa[赞例子!!!!], who spend her whole life time assisting people who need help, poor as she was[经典优秀表达!好!], she was remembered by people all over the worldand her spirit has a profound influence and never ceases growing with us [这句话and的并列有点别扭,时态也不是很一样.可以改为: she was remembered by people all over the world, with her spirit influencing the world profoundly and never ceasing growing with us. 或者在第一个and前加上逗号,使前后两个时态隔离开]. Chopin[例子好!], who even cannot afford an apartment through his lifetime, composed plenty of classical compositions which inspire thousands of people to move forward when ~~confronted~~ confronting with difficulties. The examples above best demonstrate the importance of social status, [怎么重要呢?可以再次呼应前文,加:which brings us tremendous spiritual enjoyment that money can never create], there is no excuse to make money the major purpose for people who have jobs.

Secondly, it is not uncommon that[注1] when someone succeed in obtaining social status, wealth and approval follow in succession. The founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, created the apple company just at the mere ambition to change the world. As a result, not only did his products enjoy gigantic popularity among people all round world, but also did he become one of the most affluent people in the world[后半句不要求倒装] .
Last but not the least, money functions as something that satisfies [有点累赘,可以直接: functions to satisfy] our human being, in this way, we should by no means work just for money and make us the slaves of money. People who work ~~intending~~ to earn money as much as possible as[三个as了,最后一个可以去掉] can carelessly neglect the beauty and happiness of life. Nothing can be compared, with the joyful smile from their children’s face, the praise from their parents or even the leisure time when a family stay together around the table or in front of the television. Never let money get in your way of enjoying the happiest moment in life.

In conclusion, in view of social influence and personal reputation, we can never emphasize too much on ~~money~~[是social status吧?] Each individual is supposed to make efforts to attain social statue rather than wealth.
personal opinion:
这三个论点我最喜欢的也是我觉得最有说服力的是第一点.将比较贯穿始终.后两个观点就没有像第一个观点那么鲜明了~尤其是第一段的例子,超棒!
另外,sang同学估计看过好句35~好多里面的表达^^运用的很好~
注1:我考完G以后也特别喜欢写这种句子,但其实非常不简洁.在G里面我是有点凑字数的感觉,但是T不太喜欢这种.还有你第一段里的controversial,出题人会觉得,我出的题本来就是两面都可以写的,当然controversial,要不都一面倒有啥可出的?
回到it is....that的句型,其实第一处可以改为: undeniably;第二处可以改为: Not surprisingly.这两个放于句首,又简洁,又明了!

-- by 会员 miss绿光 (2012/5/5 10:35:38)

谢谢绿光的意见~~的确好像还没从G作文走出来哈哈，全想拼字去了..
就一句话要想几个观点还要正反论证感觉脑子完全不够用啊啊啊..

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-5 16:49
5,5 综合
The listening and reading passage provide contradict opinion about the issue whether communal online encyclopedias, which allow any Internet user to replace the existing material with new one, are more valuable than traditional one. The reading passage asserts three weaknesses about the communal online encyclopedias. However, the professor casts these argument into doubt based on following three reasons.

To start with, the professor considers it is too general to state that communal online encyclopedias often lack academic credentials, as the reading passage mentions. She states that even traditional encyclopedias never come close to an accurate level. By providing an access for everyone to correct the errors easily, communal online encyclopedias actually play an overwehlemoverwhelming part.

Secondly, the professor points out two strategies according to the argument, indicating that communal online encyclopedias offer hackers an opportunity to corrupt information, to adjust to the hackers’ concern. For one thing, they can put crucial article in a special formant that no one is allowed to destroy or change. For another, special auditor can be hired to monitor the change and eliminate the unnecessary reconstruction of information.

Last but not the least, the reading passage also asserts communal online encyclopedias supply gigantic useless information about topic, which may distract children when they doing school research. On the contrary, the professor refutes the idea by illuminating that traditional encyclopedias have a much limited space for people to find materials they really interested in, in this way, the communal online encyclopedias have better come to people’s satisfactory because they provide a diversified and most advanced message.

作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2012-5-6 20:00
The reading passage mentions three theories endeavoring to determine how the ”Great houses” in twelfth century A.D were used before. However, in the listening part, the professor strongly contradicts each proposal by stating sufficient evidence.

To start with, the professor casts doubt on the application of residence by indicating that although the outside look of these houses seems suitable for residential, (. 逗号不连接两个句子)the inside part shows strong evidences against it （指代的有点远了）. On the one hand, the house has only few fire places, which were an indispensable placement for each family, even the largest room has a fire place which was just suitable for a family with 10 members. On the other hand, the lack of gigantic room also illustrate the viewpoint against the passage.

Moreover, the statement of storing food supplies cannot satisfy the professor either, by pointing out that excavation shows no evidence of maize or even maize container, the professor weakens the statement above. Furthermore, he also mentions that maize and remaining （remaining，是adj.）of big containers were found on the floor, a situation totally contradicts the proof of keeping food.

Last but not the least, the passage states that the houses also have a function as ceremonial center. On the contrary, the professor challenges the proposal, saying that more other material than broken pots were found in the houses, most of them were building material such as sand and stone, a preservation of residual construction material when building was also a strong proof against the assumption.

PS: 听的很细，值得我学习。层次清楚。就是最后一段，先把听力的内容列出来，再比较和阅读的不同，是OG的标准写法

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-6 22:16

The reading passage mentions three theories endeavoring to determine how the ”Great houses” in twelfth century A.D were used before. However, in the listening part, the professor strongly contradicts each proposal by stating sufficient evidence.

To start with, the professor casts doubt on the application of residence by indicating that although the outside look of these houses seems suitable for residential, (. 逗号不连接两个句子)the inside part shows strong evidences against it （指代的有点远了）. On the one hand, the house has only few fire places, which were an indispensable placement for each family, even the largest room has a fire place which was just suitable for a family with 10 members. On the other hand, the lack of gigantic room also illustrate the viewpoint against the passage.

Moreover, the statement of storing food supplies cannot satisfy the professor either, by pointing out that excavation shows no evidence of maize or even maize container, the professor weakens the statement above. Furthermore, he also mentions that maize and remaining （remaining，是adj.）of big containers were found on the floor, a situation totally contradicts the proof of keeping food.

Last but not the least, the passage states that the houses also have a function as ceremonial center. On the contrary, the professor challenges the proposal, saying that more other material than broken pots were found in the houses, most of them were building material such as sand and stone, a preservation of residual construction material when building was also a strong proof against the assumption.

PS: 听的很细，值得我学习。层次清楚。就是最后一段，先把听力的内容列出来，再比较和阅读的不同，是OG的标准写法

-- by 会员 chasedreamabc (2012/5/6 20:00:07)

综合是六楼那篇......

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-6 22:16
5月9日11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.

So important our friends are that they share happiness and sorrow with us, set up goals and struggle with us and, most importantly, give us a hand when we are in need. However, whether it is a good option to ask friends for help when he finds difficulties passing an examination? As far as I am concerned, tutor is the better choice when comforted such problems.

To start with, no matter how good friends are at the subject, their academic skill can never compare with a tutor. Tutor always hold a general network of the knowledge and knows which part of conception is of great significance. When they ask the tutor for help, a tutor is readily to guild them an apparent way and tells them to which part they have to pay special attention. In this way, it is useful for them to make best use of the limited time preparing for the examination. Furthermore, based on tutor’s accumulated experience and profound comprehension to the subject, it is not difficult to find out students’ weakness and correct their mistakes. For on thing, turning to a tutor for assistance can accelerate the process to solve the problem. For another, students are able to build a deeper understanding and impression to certain subjects.

Moreover, it is risky to ask friends for help, especially when they have lots of assignments and experiments to handle with, which is often the case for each individual. Taking friends’ time may, on the one hand, make them involve into unnecessary disturbance, on the other hand, it is also possible that your hard works are totally in vain because of all the important concepts, your friends have no idea what the most efficient way to review is. On that note, friends are not suitable for you to conquer an examination.

Admittedly, turning to friends is convenient because they are easy to be found without making an appointment. It is also unnecessary to worry that they may look down upon you or blame you for your poor knowledge and academic attainment. Nevertheless, it is the tutors that take responsibility to drug students’ out of their problems and assist them with greatest passion and enthusiasm. Thus, it is never too exaggerate to assert that asking tutor for help when one finds difficulties in passing an examination is troublesome and inappropriate.

In conclusion, in order to make best use of limited time to pass an examination without adding trouble to your friends, the best method is to turn on a tutor. Only in this way can they get rid off their difficulties as soon as possible.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-6 22:20
5,6综合
Both reading and listening passage talk about the possibility that American company would adopt the certification in order to conserve resource and at the same time attract customers. The reading passage afraids that the United Stated wouldn’t receive the ecocertification, However, the professor contradicts the viewpoint in the following three ways.

To start with, the passage points out that American customers may not interested in the ecocertification label, especially during the time when more and more “new” lables emerge. However, the professor challenges the idea by illustrating that American customers do not trust advertising company’s claim. When a claim is made by an independent third group,they have special interest in environmental friendly products and thus may consider ecocertification more trustworthy.

Secondly, the professor states that money plays an unimportant role especially under small difference in contradiction of the statement in the reading passage, indicating that American customers are more willing to choose cheaper and uncertified products. Taking environmental factors into consideration, the customers’ inclination to ecocertification is more obvious .

Last but not the least, the passage asserts that American company only contends with its domestically manufactured products, even they are not eco friendly. On the contrary, the professor contends that American companies pay great attention to foreign competition, if they can dominate the markets by applying ecocertification, the tendency that foreign company would crowd into American market targed at its ecocertification will last.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-7 17:33
5月7日11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Obviously, friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you are in need, I definitely choose the latter on as a real friend.

On the on hand, as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed.” The most apparent difference between friend and stranger is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant. When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that could not concentrate on my study even confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied me and drugged me from the dark hell, she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood by me no matter I was crying or express my emotion. I own her enormous gratitude for her in time assistant when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend, we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise you in front, but fails to lend you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend to miss the phone call in the middle night, during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last forever.

作者: maylovehe1 时间: 2012-5-7 22:13
Both reading and listening passage talk about the possibility that American company would adopt the certification in order to conserve resource and at the same time attract customers. The reading passage afraids (afraid) that the United Stated wouldn’t receive the ecocertification, however, the professor contradicts the viewpoint in the following three ways. (I don’t know if “The United stated” mentioned in your paragraph is correct. I would say consumer in the US…)

To start with, the passage points out that American customers may not interested in the ecocertification label, especially during the time when more and more “new” lables (labels) emerge. However, the professor challenges the idea by illustrating that American customers do not trust advertising company’s claim. When a claim is made by an independent third group, they have special interest in environmental friendly products and thus may consider ecocertification as more trustworthy. (Consider…as..)

Secondly, the professor states that money plays an unimportant role especially under small difference in contradiction of the statement in the reading passage, indicating that American customers are more willing to choose cheaper and uncertified products. Taking environmental factors into consideration, the customers’ inclination to ecocertification is more obvious .

à I found some information regarding the meaning of this lecture. I think we need to reconsider if the expression is covered the focus.

第二，诚然美国消费者对价格很敏感。可是谁不是这样的呢？但是消费选择的研究发现只有当价格差很大的时候价格才会成为唯一的决定因素。当两个产品的价格差很小，比如小于百分之五的时候，其他因素就会影响美国消费者的选择。而认证木材的价格差恰好在这个范围。而且美国人越来越重视环境保护了。

Last but not the least, the passage asserts that American company only contends with its domestically manufactured products, even they are not eco friendly. On the contrary, the professor contends that American companies pay great attention to foreign competition, if they can dominate the markets by applying ecocertification, the tendency that foreign company would crowd into American market targed at its ecocertification will last.

à In lecture:

第三，美国木材公司必须要关注国际木柴行业的趋势。这不是因为国外的消费者，而是因为国外的同行。我可以告诉大家，美国的消费者会对环保产品越来越感兴趣，而这是一个极佳的机会。为什么呢？这是因为如果美国的公司没有及时地抓住消费者，那么当国外的公司提供美国所没有的环保产品，他们可以很快递占领美国市场。

Overall speaking, quite good for your composition. haha

作者: maylovehe1 时间: 2012-5-7 22:42
Obviously, friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you are in need, I definitely choose the latter on as a real friend.

On the on hand (On one hand),as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed.” The most apparent difference between friend and stranger is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant. When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that could not concentrate on my study even confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied (accompanied with) me and drugged me from the dark hell, she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood by me no matter I was crying or express my emotion. I own her enormous gratitude for her in time assistant when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend, we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise you in front, but fails to lend (borrow) you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend to miss the phone call in the middle night, during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.

à Personally, I prefer your first paragraph. Your second part is less convincing than your first part. To think more on how to deliver, those friends who we have fun with but cannot assist on us when we are in poor situation.

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last(lasting) forever.

à Use of word is good. Organization is okay.

à Must be improved on the example use and more clear to express your idea.

一起加油!

作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-5-8 13:52
5月7日独立修改
Obviously, (a)friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you(觉得这里转述问题是再用you不是很合适) are in need, I definitely choose the latter on(one) as a real friend.

On the on(one)hand, as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed(indeed).” The most apparent difference between friend and stranger is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant(assistance). When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that (I)could not concentrate on my study even confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied(accompanied) me and drugged me from the dark hell, (这里是下一句啦。)she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood by me no matter I was crying or express(ing)my emotion. I own(owe) her enormous gratitude for her in time(timely)assistant when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter(s) your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend, we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair(?) friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise(s) you in front, but fails to lend you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend(pretends?pretending)to miss(missing) the phone call in the middle night(at midnight), during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. (这个句子太长啦，看得有点费劲，不如分成两三句句子结构更清晰，可以让ETS的评分员省省脑cell~哈哈。)Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.(这里实际上是两个句子，More importantly...)

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last forever.

总得来说sang亲写得很不错啦~注意的地方一个是小细节，这个可以考完试自己留几分钟check一下；另外是一个句子不要两个主语，可以加连词或者可以分为两句写。

作者: tyyhappy 时间: 2012-5-8 17:45
红色是修改，蓝色是疑问，黄色精彩。
Obviously, friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, (两个句子并列了加个and) with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether （to 用法：whether to do）choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you are in need, I definitely choose the latter on as a real friend（这个句子很长，个人觉得可以换个说法使结构更加简单。）.

On the on hand（on one hand）, as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed.” The most apparent difference between friend(s) and stranger(s) is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant(assistance). When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that could not concentrate on my study even(even 是个副词，建议用and even could not confront) confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied(accompanied) me and drugged me from the dark hell, (and) she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood(个人觉得用stand 做为to comfort 的并列效果更好，表示是她贡献时间来站在我身边不论什么时候，不过还是看作者意思。) by me no matter I was crying or express(个人觉得用expressing更好) my emotion. I own（owe） her enormous gratitude for her in time assistant(assistance) when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend(s), we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on (the) same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair（?） friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise(s) you in front, but fails to lend you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend(ing) to miss the phone call in the middle night, during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. （这个句子很长，也许可以拆下说下，两个并列句也挺有气势的。）Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend(s) to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last forever.

To sang
happy意见比较多，希望sang表要介意哈^_^
结构清晰，总分结构。

用词丰富，句式变化多样。

注意细节错误，个人认为有些句子过于长了，有些冗杂。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-8 18:38
这篇文章被改了三遍耶嘿嘿..谢谢三位亲的意见！

一起加油！~

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-8 19:36
5月8日11.9.16 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.

It is undoubtedly that parents have an overwhelming influence on their children throughout their lives. They teach their children how to speak, how to behavior well in the society and how to build up their value of life. Dose it mean children should choose the same career as their parents? As far as I’m concerned, children should be totally uncontrolled when choosing a career.

For one thing, children are human being, they have their own likes and dislikes, in this way they have the ability to find out what they really interested in and choose a suitable career for themselves. As is know to all, interest is the best teacher, choosing a career perfectly to their satisfactory has positive influence on their behavior at work as well as plays an important part in their career development. A friend of mine, who goes against their parents’ wish to become a doctor, works as a computer engineer instead. Arduous as the job is, he shows great passion in his daily life, puts his heart and soul into every subject and experiment he attends and is always enthusiastic and curious about the unknown fields. When faced with difficulties and challenges, he never gives up and his passion and interest function as the dominate motivations that push him forward. As time goes by, he succeed in achieving a high level in computer field. Currently he lives a joyful life because the most exciting thing is to work with computer everyday. It is never too exaggerate to regard interest as the best incentive in one’s career.

For another, it is not uncommon for children to choose an identical career as their parents, only if they show strong interest in such fields. At that note, parents can teach them basic knowledge related at a very young age and provide them with all they can offer in these areas, such as best guildence, most advanced theory and practice, not to mention introduce them to a well fame instructor. However, if their children are forced to take the same career as their parents, something unfortunate happens. They get bored of what they handle with everyday, complain their parents about oblige them to deal with issue totally opposite to their apitites, or feel desperate because of the darkness side of their lives. Admittedly, parents provide best resources for children unless they themselves have a negative attitude towards an identical career.

To sum up, taking individual’s interest and willingness into consideration, it is necessary for children to choose a career they really fascinate with. Otherwise would it does harm to their career or lives, even they enjoy the best resource and atmosphere.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-9 15:05
5月9日11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.

So important our friends are that they share happiness and sorrow with us, set up goals and struggle with us and, most importantly, give us a hand when we are in need. However, whether it is a good option to ask friends for help when one finds difficulties passing an examination? As far as I am concerned, tutor is the better choice when comforted such problems.

To start with, no matter how good friends are at the subject, their academic skill can never compare with a tutor. Tutor always hold a general network of the knowledge and knows which part of conception is of great significance. When they ask the tutor for help, a tutor is readily to guild them an apparent way and tells them to which part they have to pay special attention. In this way, it is useful for them to make best use of the limited time preparing for the examination. Furthermore, based on tutor’s accumulated experience and profound comprehension to the subject, it is not difficult to find out students’ weakness and correct their mistakes. For on thing, turning to a tutor for assistance can accelerate the process to solve the problem. For another, students are able to build a deeper understanding and impression to certain subjects.

Moreover, it is risky to ask friends for help, especially when they have lots of assignments and experiments to handle with, which is often the case for each individual. Taking friends’ time may, on the one hand, make them involve into unnecessary disturbance, on the other hand, it is also possible that your hard works are totally in vain because of all the important concepts, your friends have no idea what the most efficient way to review is. On that note, friends are not suitable for you to conquer an examination.

Admittedly, turning to friends is convenient because they are easy to be found without making an appointment. It is also unnecessary to worry that they may look down upon you or blame you for your poor knowledge and academic attainment. Nevertheless, it is the tutors that take responsibility to drug students’ out of their problems and assist them with greatest passion and enthusiasm. Thus, it is never too exaggerate to assert that asking tutor for help when one finds difficulties in passing an examination is troublesome and inappropriate.

In conclusion, in order to make best use of limited time to pass an examination without adding trouble to your friends, the best method is to turn on a tutor. Only in this way can they get rid off their difficulties as soon as possible.

作者: 包子不包子 时间: 2012-5-10 00:57
So important our friends are that they share happiness and sorrow with us, set up goals and struggle with us and, and 在逗号后吧most importantly, give us a hand when we are in need. However, whether it is a good option to ask friends for help when one finds difficulties passing an examination? 不是疑问句吧As far as I am concerned, tutor is the better choice when comforted confronted?such problems.开头可以更精彩的~~

To start with, no matter how good friends are at the subject, their academic skill can never compare with a tutor. Tutor always是不是太绝对了？ hold a general network of the knowledge and knows know which part of conception is of great significance. When they ask the tutor for help, a tutor is readily有些奇怪好像不能这样用啊to guild them in an apparent way and tells tell them to which part they have to pay special attention. In this way, it is useful for them to make best use of the limited time preparing for the examination.没有看出来和上句的联系呀 Furthermore, based on tutor’s accumulated experience and profound comprehension to the subject, it is not difficult to find out students’ weakness and correct their mistakes. For on one thing, turning to a tutor for assistance can accelerate the process to solve the problem. For another, students are able to buildbuild understanding不能搭配的说a deeper understanding and impression to certain subjects.

Moreover, it is risky to ask friends for help, especially when they have lots of assignments and experiments to handle with, which is often the case for each individual. Taking friends’ time may, on the one hand, make them involve into unnecessary disturbance, on the other hand, it is also possible that your hard works are totally in vain because of all the important concepts, your friends have no idea what the most efficient way to review is. On that note, friends are not suitable for you to conquer不确定能不能这样用啊an examination.

Admittedly, turning to friends is convenient because they are easy to be found without making an appointment. It is also unnecessary to worry that they may look down upon you or blame you for your poor knowledge and academic attainment. Nevertheless, it is the tutors that take responsibility to drug students’ out of their problems and assist them with greatest passion and enthusiasm. Thus, it is never too exaggerate to assert that asking tutor for help when one finds difficulties in passing an examination is troublesome and inappropriate.这段很好的！

In conclusion, in order to make best use of limited time to pass an examination without adding trouble to your friends, the best method is to turn on a tutor. Only in this way can they get rid off their difficulties as soon as possible.

总体还是蛮好的结构很完善就是开头部分小问题有些多
想出来很多方面呢厉害厉害~

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-10 14:41
5月10日11.8.20 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

So fierce is the competition today that each company has to come up with thousands of ways to enlarge their market share and attain large profits. When it comes to what is the most important investment for a big company, I’m undoubtedly in favor of the statement that a company is supposed to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

To begin with, efficiency is the most important factor when considering the performance of a company. Great achievement as a company obtain, if it takes much more time than its competitors, people are unlikely to regard the success positively. As is know to all, time always plays an overwhelming role in the production process. The fewer time it takes to finish a projection, the easier it is to grasp the best opportunity and take the dominant position in the market. A famous computer company, which enjoys the most eminent projectors and testers, fails to publish its new product before deadline just because of the conflicts among employees. Consequently, it lost large amount of consumers and suffers from a negative impact on its future development. In this way, it never too exaggerate to assert the importance of efficiency, especially for those companies which pay special attention to cooperation and teamwork.

Additionally, it is obvious that proficiency of employees is an indispensable consistent of the general efficiency. Only when people have a deep understanding about their daily job and work proficiently can they contribute to the improvement of the whole efficiency. At that note, large quantities of money need to be invested on employees’ training in order to ensure them to adapt to their jobs as soon as possible. By practicing and training, employees gain experience and make progress, thus finish more tasks in the limited hours. Never neglect the importance of each individual because it is each member’s hard work that creates the prosperity of the company.

Admittedly, the method to invest is diversified. A company can either purchase stocks or disperse loans. However, if a company cannot garantee its internal issues such as efficiency and proficiency of employees, how can they leave a positive impression on the public and ensure other investments move smoothly? It is necessary to emphasize that internal investments stand first, then come external investments.

To sum up, in view of the development of company both internally and externally, a company should by every means to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

作者: Herisson0509 时间: 2012-5-11 11:36
不好意思啊sang 因为我要跑到西安考试所以这两天有些忙一直拖着没改上sorry啊

It is undoubtedly that parents have an overwhelming influence on their children throughout their lives. They teach their children how to speak, how to behavior well in the society and how to build up their value of life. Dose it mean children should choose the same career as their parents? As far as I’m concerned, children should be totally uncontrolled when choosing a career.

For one thing, children are human beings, they have their own likes and dislikes, in this way they have the ability to find out what they really interested in and choose a suitable career for themselves. As is know to all, interest is the best teacher, choosing a career perfectly to their satisfactory是adjsatisfaction has positive influence on their behaviors at work as well as plays an important part in their career development. A friend of mine, who goes against their parents’ wish to become a doctor, works as a computer engineer instead. Arduous as the job is, he shows great passion in his daily life, puts his heart and soul into every subject and experiment he attends and is always enthusiastic and curious about the unknown fields. When faced facing with difficulties and challenges, he never gives up and his passion and interest function as the dominate motivations that push him forward. As time goes by, he succeed in achieving a high level in computer field. Currently he lives a joyful life because the most exciting thing is to work with computer everyday. It is never too exaggerate to regard interest as the best incentive in one’s career.

For another, it is not uncommon for children to choose an identical career as their parents, only if they show strong interest in such fields. At that note, parents can teach them basic knowledge related at a very young age and provide them with all they can offer in these areas, such as best guildence, most advanced theory and practice, not to mention introduce them to a well fame instructor. However, if their children are forced to take the same career as their parents, something unfortunate happens. They get bored of what they handle with everyday, complain their parents about oblige them to deal with issue totally opposite to their apitites, or feel desperate because of the darkness side of their lives. Admittedly, parents provide best resources for children unless they themselves have a negative attitude towards an identical career.

To sum up, taking individual’s interest and willingness into consideration, it is necessary for children to choose a career they really fascinate with. Otherwise would it does harm to their career or lives, even they enjoy the best resource and atmosphere.

Sang 是不是研究过长难句啊好多长句子啊写的都很不错呢膜拜膜拜高亮都标不完了

结构内容都超级棒呢很赞好后悔这么晚才来给你改啊等我考完一定要好好研究下你的大作

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-12 14:08

不好意思啊sang 因为我要跑到西安考试所以这两天有些忙一直拖着没改上sorry啊

It is undoubtedly that parents have an overwhelming influence on their children throughout their lives. They teach their children how to speak, how to behavior well in the society and how to build up their value of life. Dose it mean children should choose the same career as their parents? As far as I’m concerned, children should be totally uncontrolled when choosing a career.

For one thing, children are human beings, they have their own likes and dislikes, in this way they have the ability to find out what they really interested in and choose a suitable career for themselves. As is know to all, interest is the best teacher, choosing a career perfectly to their satisfactory是adjsatisfaction has positive influence on their behaviors at work as well as plays an important part in their career development. A friend of mine, who goes against their parents’ wish to become a doctor, works as a computer engineer instead. Arduous as the job is, he shows great passion in his daily life, puts his heart and soul into every subject and experiment he attends and is always enthusiastic and curious about the unknown fields. When faced facing with difficulties and challenges, he never gives up and his passion and interest function as the dominate motivations that push him forward. As time goes by, he succeed in achieving a high level in computer field. Currently he lives a joyful life because the most exciting thing is to work with computer everyday. It is never too exaggerate to regard interest as the best incentive in one’s career.

For another, it is not uncommon for children to choose an identical career as their parents, only if they show strong interest in such fields. At that note, parents can teach them basic knowledge related at a very young age and provide them with all they can offer in these areas, such as best guildence, most advanced theory and practice, not to mention introduce them to a well fame instructor. However, if their children are forced to take the same career as their parents, something unfortunate happens. They get bored of what they handle with everyday, complain their parents about oblige them to deal with issue totally opposite to their apitites, or feel desperate because of the darkness side of their lives. Admittedly, parents provide best resources for children unless they themselves have a negative attitude towards an identical career.

To sum up, taking individual’s interest and willingness into consideration, it is necessary for children to choose a career they really fascinate with. Otherwise would it does harm to their career or lives, even they enjoy the best resource and atmosphere.

Sang 是不是研究过长难句啊好多长句子啊写的都很不错呢膜拜膜拜高亮都标不完了

结构内容都超级棒呢很赞好后悔这么晚才来给你改啊等我考完一定要好好研究下你的大作

-- by 会员 Herisson0509 (2012/5/11 11:36:14)

刺猬过奖啦..其实都是用过好多次的句子，都不知道怎么写出新的了55
还要多向大家学习才是

考试加油！

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-12 14:08
5月12日10.2.13NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannotaccept criticism will not succeed working in teams.

In the contemprory contemporary society, the tendency of working inteams has occupied a dominant position. It is obvious that working in groupscan to some degree increase the efficiency as well as proficiency of eachindividual. In view of the importance of cooperation in teams, I am stronglysupportive to the statement that people who cannot accept criticism will notsucceed working in teams.

To begin with, team-workalways intends to finish a general projection with everyone’s effect, in this way, people should pick up the most innovative ideas and improve them throughcountless meetings and discussions. It is inevitably that some group member’sproposal will be denied or even criticized for the lack of inspiration oraccuracy. The ability to receive criticism is an indispensable part in teambecause no one can make perfect decision by himself all the time. A computerengineer, who has achieved an overwhelming position in his research institute,is used to make the final decision because he is confident that everyone willapprove his idea sooner or later. However, a failure happens owning to hisneglect of customers’ appetite. As a result, he feels too embarrass to becriticized in front of his collegues colleaguesand quits his office. At that note, it is never too exaggerate to assert thatthe ability to accept receive criticism is necessary in teams.

Furthermore, criticism alsofunction as a warning of avoiding making identical mistakes next time as wellas a motivation to make self-improvement. As is know to all, the outsiders usually have a clear awareness of others’ weakness. In this way, people are supposed to appreciate that working in teams provides them a unique opportunity to find out their weaknesses and shortcomings. By realizing their shortcomings and paying special attention to conquer them, they are likely to come up with better contentions in the future. On the contrary, for people who feel toodifficult to receive criticism, they would addict to their self-satisfactory all the time instead of awaring of their weaknesses and making progress.Consequently they cannot catch up with their humble collegues colleagues and get obsoleted from their teams.

To sum up, according to thearguments above, I can definitely come to the contention that people who cannot receive criticism would hardly find their place in teams, especially in groups which put great significance on cooperation and self-realization.

作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-5-12 22:15
啊啊我玩了半天才想起来还没有给sang改作文！
不能自己考完了就不管大家了。。。罪过罪过。。。占个地方一会贴上啦

So fierce is the competition today that each company has to come up with thousands of ways to enlarge their market share and attain large profits. (开头让人眼前一亮！其实我之前用手机上CD的时候看了一眼你的作文，当时就镇住了！)When it comes to what is the most important investment for a big company, I’m undoubtedly in favor of the statement that a company is supposed to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

To begin with, efficiency is the most important factor when considering the performance of a company. Great achievement as a company obtain, if it takes much more time than its competitors, people are unlikely to regard the success positively. As is know(known) to all, time always plays an overwhelming role in the production process. The fewer time it takes to finish a projection, the easier it is to grasp the best opportunity and take the dominant position in the market. A famous computer company, which enjoys the most eminent projectors and testers, fails to publish its new product before deadline just because of the conflicts among employees. Consequently, it lost large amount of consumers and suffers(suffered) from a negative impact on its future development. In this way, it never too exaggerate(it is never too exaggerated?) to assert the importance of efficiency, especially for those companies which pay special attention to cooperation and teamwork.

Additionally, it is obvious that proficiency of employees is an indispensable consistent of the general efficiency. Only when people have a deep understanding about their daily job and work proficiently can they contribute to the improvement of the whole efficiency. At that note, large quantities of money need to be invested on employees’ training in order to ensure them to adapt to their jobs as soon as possible. By practicing and training, employees gain experience and make progress, thus finish more tasks in the limited hours. Never neglect the importance of each individual because it is each member’s hard work that creates the prosperity of the company.

Admittedly, the method to invest is diversified. A company can either purchase stocks or disperse loans. However, if a company cannot garantee(guarantee)its internal issues such as efficiency and proficiency of employees, how can they leave a positive impression on the public and ensure other investments move smoothly? It is necessary to emphasize that internal investments stand first, then come external investments.

To sum up, in view of the development of company both internally and externally, a company should by every means to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

Sang写得太好了，好想点亮全篇！

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-13 15:31
sang 我晚上给你改5.12哈O(∩_∩)O~稍等

红色为错误高亮为精彩，蓝色为意见或建议绿色为总结
Inthe contemprory contemporary society, thetendency of working in teams has occupied a dominant position. It is obviousthat working in groups can to some degree increase the efficiency as well asproficiency of each individual. In view of the importance of cooperation in teams, I am strongly supportive to （哈哈，又学到一种表达支持的说法O(∩_∩)O~）thestatement that people who cannot accept criticism will not succeed working inteams.

To begin with, team-work always intends to finish a general projection witheveryone’s effect, in this way, （两个句子了， in this way 可以另起一句，或者加个and啥的了）people should pickup the most innovative ideas and improve them through countless meetings anddiscussions. It is inevitably that some group member’s proposal will be deniedor even criticized for the lack of inspiration or accuracy. The ability toreceive criticism is an indispensable part in team because no one can makeperfect decision by himself all the time. （雨巷建议这句挪到最前面，当成TS!）（要不要加个连接词， for example/instance之类的）Acomputer engineer, who has achieved an overwhelming position in his researchinstitute, is used to make the final decision because he is confident thateveryone will approve his idea sooner or later. However, a failure happensowning to his neglect of customers’ appetite. As a result, he feels too embarrass（embarrassed） tobe criticized in front of his collegues colleagues andquits his office.At that note, it is never too exaggerate （exaggerated）to assert that the ability to accept receive criticism is necessary in teams.

Furthermore, criticism also function (functions)as a warning of avoiding making identical mistakes next time as well as amotivation to make self-improvement. As is know (known)to all, the outsidersusually have a clear awareness of others’ weakness. In this way,(用过了，可以换成，under this circumstance/inthis case) people are supposed to appreciate that working in teams providesthem a unique opportunity to find out their weaknesses and shortcomings. (我觉得这个如果换成accepting criticism willprovides them a unique …会更切合题目)By realizing their shortcomings and paying specialattention to conquer them （看意思应该是指shortcomings 但前面的their指的的是people, 后面的they 也指people…会凌乱的，建议直接改成， by realizing shortcomingsand paying attention to conquer them, people are likely to come up…）, theyare likely to come up with better contentions in the future. On the contrary,for people who feel too difficult to receive criticism, they would addict to (addict sb to sth 改成， be addicted to) their self-satisfactory all the time instead of awaring (awareness/ being ware of) of their weaknessesand making progress. Consequently they cannot catch up with their humblecollegues colleagues and get obsoleted (obsolete, 另外小疑惑，这个可以get么感觉好奇怪额) fromtheir teams.

Tosum up, according to the arguments above, I can definitely come to the contention thatpeople who cannot receive criticism would hardly find their place in teams,especially in groups which put great significance on cooperation andself-realization.
To sang:
嘿，不要被我的颜色给吓到，大部分都是个人意见了，仅供参考
1. TS一定要强有力，支持你的中心论点O(∩_∩)O~
2. 我觉得第三段有些略微啰嗦，可以缩减一下或者再加一段，一般是5段式八股文的
另外感觉这段很多 aware of weakness and makeprogress,,,,
3. 词汇神马的，sang 很强哦，学到很多O(∩_∩)O~
4. 红色的好多单词是sang自己回来检查改的吗，好赞哦\(^o^)/~
加油加油
异常抱歉现在才贴，希望sang多多包涵了O(∩_∩)O~

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-13 17:44
5月13日11.12.9 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life.
（补充：觉得更准确的表述是 Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.）

Undoubtedly, job is the major composition of our daily life. We spend enormous time doing everyday work in order to earn money and finishing the assignment society brings us. However, does job have more effect on one’s happiness than social life does? From my perspective, I am supportive of the opposite viewpoint, that is social life can bring me more pleasure than job does.

To begin with, it is inevitably that when just graduated from university, I choose job at the mere wish to find us a social position or earn money. In this way, I unavoidably make sacrifice in front of the huge temptations, such as social statue and wealth, namely neglect my own interest as well as ambition. One of my school-fellow, who has already obtained PHD of chemistry in a well-known university overseas and performs perfectly in such areas, decides to be a consultant just because of the brightness future and the tempted salary. Consequently, his career becomes much more arduous than expected and he spends day and night dealing with businesses and clients which really drives him crazy, not to mention the countless time in the way. This seemingly brilliant job didn’t bring him any sense of happiness.

On the contrary, I am inclined to have more freedom choosing my social activities. I can participate in all kinds of clubs, visit my old friends who just live in my vicinity, or access to theater and cinema at the mere wish to realize spiritual enjoyment. The priority of taking their personal feelings into consideration guarantees the sense of happiness. To a large degree, social life functions as contribution to our life sentimentally. In contradiction, it is occupation that forces me to weigh between interests and benefits.

Admittedly, a job identical to my appetite does exert profound influence on my sense of pleasure. At that note, I am able to handle my works with greatest passion and enthusiasm. However, this kind of situation does not happen invariably because I feel oblige to take all factors into consideration. And it is common that, especially for people in China, money stands first, then comes happiness.

In a nutshell, according to the reasons above, I am definitely under the impression that social life plays a more overwhelming part when it comes to one’s happiness than job does.

超时吖55.写着写着感觉出了审题错误，这个effect除了正面也可以是负面影响的吖..所以不知道这样写会不会算偏题？
还有这个题目中的your,和平时以大众角度写的感觉很要费一番功夫吖..
求狠拍！！

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-14 07:47

5 月13日11.12.9 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life.
（补充：觉得更准确的表述是 Your job has more effect on yourhappiness than your social life does.）

Undoubtedly, job is the major composition of our daily life. We spend enormoustime doing everyday work in order to earn money and finishing the assignmentsociety brings us. However, does job have more effect on one’s happiness thansocial life does? From my perspective, I am supportive of the oppositeviewpoint, that is （is 去掉吧，这样that 是opposite viewpoint的同位语从句，不然就成了两个句子了呵呵）social life can bring me more pleasure than job does.

To begin with, it isinevitably that when just graduated（graduating,你在查一下，这个主从句主语一致省略从句主语的句式哈，不过sang很棒哦，这样的句式都记得并且运用到作文中，我就只记得高中天天做题O(∩_∩)O~）from university, I choose job at the mere wish to find us （us?前面是I） a social position or earn money. In this way, I unavoidably makesacrifice in front of the huge temptations, such as social statue and wealth,namely neglect my own interest as well as ambition. （建议这之前的I都改错people吧）One of my school-fellow, who has already obtained PHD ofchemistry in a well-known university overseas （这个我看举例子，一般直接要说出哪个学校的，编也好）and performsperfectly in such areas, decides to be a consultant just because of thebrightness future and the tempted salary. Consequently, his career becomes muchmore arduous than expected and he spends day and night dealing with businessesand clients which really drives him crazy, not to mention the countless time in the way（改成on which he spent）. Thisseemingly brilliant job didn’t bring him any sense of happiness.(貌似开头木有ts，这段明显长句一个接一个)。。长句合理分配在整个文章里吧)

On the contrary, I am inclined to have more freedom choosing my socialactivities. I can participate in all kinds of clubs, visit my old friends whojust live in my vicinity, or access to theater and cinema at the mere wish (用过了，可以换成in the mere hope of realizing)to realize spiritual enjoyment. The priority of takingtheir personal feelings into consideration guarantees the sense of happiness.To a large degree, social life functions as contribution to our lifesentimentally. In contradiction, it is occupation that forces me to weighbetween interests and benefits.

Admittedly, a job identical to my appetite does exert profound influence on mysense of pleasure. At that note, I am able to handle my works with greatestpassion and enthusiasm. However, this kind of situation does not happen invariablybecause I feel oblige (obliged)to take allfactors into consideration. And it is common that, especially for people inChina, money stands first, then comes happiness.

In a nutshell, according to the reasons above, I am definitely under the impression that sociallife plays a more overwhelming part when it comes to one’s happiness than jobdoes.(我觉得把one’s 去掉，然后将when it comes to happiness放到that后面吧，不过我一般在开头用when it comes to 这个句式，现在发现sang用在结尾很棒哎O(∩_∩)O~ )

超时吖55.写着写着感觉出了审题错误，这个effect除了正面也可以是负面影响的吖..所以不知道这样写会不会算偏题？
还有这个题目中的your,和平时以大众角度写的感觉很要费一番功夫吖..
求狠拍！！

[本帖最后由 sang824 于 13小时32分钟前编辑]

To sang 在写的过程中和你出现了同样的过程,负面影响—我觉得应该不算偏题，最多算论述不全面。。。。
根据题目中的可数名词job用的是单数，所以可以推断是小众,,,雨巷发现sang读的很细O(∩_∩)O~赞一个
另外还是最重要的TS！

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-14 12:23

[本帖最后由 sang824 于 13小时32分钟前编辑]

-- by 会员易雨水巷 (2012/5/14 7:47:44)

谢谢水巷宝贵的意见和细心批改，对我很有用！
Thanks a loooooot!!!

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-14 18:36
514,TPO15 综合

Both reading and listening passage talk about the measures to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia. The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the methods mentioned in reading passage.

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to build a national fence in order to prevent the separation of toad, as the reading passage mentions. She points out that young toads and their eggs spread through stream and water wave. Under this circumstance, only a few toads move through fence, it is obvious that such method is ineffective.

Moreover, the reading passage asserts that toads could be captured and devastated by volunteers. Although agrees with the proposal, the professor also mentions that untrained volunteers may threaten the native frogs, some of which are endangered.

Last but not the least, the reading passage recommends the import of virus to control the cane toad population. On the contrary, the professor casts the recommendation into doubt by indicating that it would affect the king toad’s habitant as well as transport such virus to American by toads, exerting profound influence to native habitants consequently. Furthermore, owing to the dominant position of native spieces, it would do harm to the whole ecosystem in America.

In conclusion, the professor challenges the statement in the above three ways.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-14 22:04
5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.

So profound influence friends exert on us that we share happiness and sorrow, set up goals and struggle together and give each other a hand when in need. However, is it true that no matter how intimate friends are, it is impossible to be completely honest with them? As far as I am concerned, I seriously cast this statement into doubt and hold the viewpoint that real friendship can lack anything but honesty.

First and foremost, honesty is the foundation of friendship, only complete belief can we win trust from friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who praises and speaks highly of you in front while behaves totally different at your back. My friend sherry, unfortunately, fails to keep her promise to take my place as the supervisor of a project during my absence. Frustrated consequence as our team received, in spite of facing the possibility to be blamed, she admitted her fault and sincerely showed her apologize to me. On the contrary, not only do I angry with her, but she also obtains my complete trust as a result. Although sometime the truth is hurting and hard to receive, it is better to lie because of the so-called benefits. Under such circumstances, it is never too exaggerated to assert that honesty is an indispensable part of friendship, without which nothing can continue smoothly among friends.

Furthermore, friends have significant distinction between competitors and strangers. People conceal business secrets to their competitors, state something unreal about their products at the mere wish to attract as many consumers as possible, or, even worse, send fake information to enemies in order to destroy them. Such is human nature, that they always take more self-benefits out of instinct. However, friends care about us and are part of our family, to whom we are supposed to spare no secrets.

Admittedly, it is understandable that people lie to friends out of selfish. Afraid to be inferior to friends, they claim to have fun every night but endeavor to study instead, or even participate in competition, attend interview or take training without informing their friends. If you encounter friends behave in this way, I would like to suggest you stay away from them. These kinds of people are not real friends. A veritable friend is someone with whom you fight together, who raises you up when you confronted with adversities and challenges and who is proud of you at time you obtain brilliant achievement or succeed. Nothing can be compared, with the enthusiasm in friends’ hearts, with the timely assistance from friends and with their determinations to go through thick and thin with you.

In a nutshell, on the one hand, to build up friendship, one is obliged to be honest to each other. On the other hand, it is naturally that trueborn friends are trustworthy. Taking all factors into consideration, no excuse can be maintained not to be completely honest with your friends.

写的各种纠结..怕不小心就偏题了...

作者: lxc1989614 时间: 2012-5-15 13:19
514,TPO15 综合

Both reading and listening passage talk about the measures to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia. 这里最好加一个转折词The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the methods mentioned in reading passage.

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to build a national fence in order to prevent the ~~separation~~spreading of toad, as the reading passage mentions. She points out that young toads and their eggs spread through stream and water wave. Under this circumstance,only a few toads move through fence这里跟听力有出入吧，好像是说那些东西大部分会过去才导致无效, it is obvious that such method is ineffective.

Moreover, the reading passage asserts that toads could be captured and devastated by volunteers. Although agrees with the proposal, the professor also mentions that untrained volunteers may threaten the native frogs, why?听力里有说他们不会区分，这个才是重要的内容some of which are endangered.

Last but not the least, the reading passage recommends the import of virus to control the cane toad population. On the contrary, the professor casts the r ecommendation into doubt by indicating that it would affect the king toad’s ~~habitant~~habitat as well as transport such virus to American by toads, exerting profound influence to native habitants consequently. Furthermore, owing to the dominant position of native spieces, it would do harm to the whole ecosystem in America.

In conclusion, the professor challenges the statement in the above three ways.

总体来说还是蛮好的，但是我觉得你的听力有一些好像听得不是很精准，不过最后一段我自己也听得不是很好，有几个点没搞清楚~

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-15 16:46
5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honestwith your friends.

So profound influence friends exert onus thatwe share happiness and sorrow, set up goals and struggle together and give eachother a hand when in need. However, is it true that no matter how intimatefriends are, it is impossible to be completely honest with them? As far as I amconcerned, I seriously castthis statement into doubt and hold the viewpoint that real friendshipcan lack anything but honesty.

First and foremost, honesty is the foundation of friendship, only complete belief can we win trust from friends. (sang可以再查一下only的倒装，这样用是不对的，only后接名词或代词，句子不倒装；只有only后接状语从句，介词短语，副词，句子才部分倒装。另外这是两个句子，要用连接词and之类的把honesty句和only句联系起来)No one can tolerate a friend, who praises and speakshighly of you in front while behaves totally different at your back. （这句和下面例子不搭，sang再斟酌一下，是换例子还是直接删掉）My friend sherry, unfortunately, fails to keep herpromise to take my place as the supervisor of a project during my absence. Frustrated （形容consequence应该用frustrating?） consequence as our team received, (as的倒装O(∩_∩)O哈！)，in spite of facing the possibility to be blamed, she admittedher fault and sincerely showed her apologize to me. Onthe contrary, not only do I angry with her, but she also obtains my completetrust as a result. （这句话，前后矛盾）Although sometimethe truth is hurting（你再确认下这个词的意思） and hard to receive（貌似receive过了，换个accept试试？）, it is better to lie because of the so-called benefits. Under such circumstances, it is never too exaggerated toassert that honesty is an indispensable part of friendship, withoutwhich nothing can continue smoothly among friends.

Furthermore, friends have significant distinction between（from 不然用between成了那个竞争者和陌生人之间的区别了，但猜测sang应该是要表达朋友和陌生人&竞争者的区别吧）competitors and strangers. People conceal business secrets to （conceal from）their competitors, state something unreal about their products at themere wish to attract as many consumers as possible, or, even worse, send fake information to enemiesin order to destroy them. Such is human nature,that they always take more self-benefits out of instinct.（这句话可以不要啊，感觉对sang支持的论点不好呢） However, friends care about us and are part of ourfamily, to whom we are supposed to spare no secrets.（我觉得如果是这样的话，sang在这里要加些细节或者例子来支持朋友是怎么做的，不然前面大段写了陌生人&竞争者的不好，后面就只有空荡荡的一句话）

Admittedly, it is understandable that people lie to friends out of selfish.Afraid to be inferior to friends, they claim to have fun every night butendeavor to study instead, or even participate in competition, attend interviewor take training without informing their friends. If you encounter friends behave （who behave / behaving）in this way, I would like to suggest you stay away from them. Thesekinds of people are not real friends. A veritable friend is someone with whom you fighttogether, who raises you up when you confronted with adversities and challenges and who is proudof you at time （还是用when吧，attime貌似是偶尔的意思）you obtainbrilliant achievement or succeed. Nothing can be compared, with the enthusiasmin friends’ hearts, with the timely assistance from friends and with theirdeterminations to gothrough thick and thin with you.

In a nutshell, on the one hand, to build up friendship, one is obliged to behonest to each other. On the other hand, it is naturally that trueborn friends aretrustworthy. Taking all factors into consideration, no excuse can be maintainednot to be completely honest with your friends.
TO sang
1.文章字数绝对够又木有单词拼写等错误，牛叉O(∩_∩)O~
2.依然如此丰富的词汇&各种倒装等句式的应用，赞\(^o^)/~
3.关于you在独立中我记得有人说过最好不要在文章中出现~
4.关于偏题问题，这个题目的话，从分析来说，反面比较好写，因为你只要举出不得不撒谎的例子来就好了。。。。但是sang这样写很不错O(∩_∩)O~
PS 看sang的文，总是勾起很多高中的回忆，only的倒装曾经高中二年半在某位老师的要求下，必用作文结尾句，甚至曾笑言，看到only倒装就知道是我们班的孩儿写的，唉，人老了，果然就容易回忆了%>_<%

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-15 19:26

5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honestwith your friends.

So profound influence friends exert onus thatwe share happiness and sorrow, set up goals and struggle together and give eachother a hand when in need. However, is it true that no matter how intimatefriends are, it is impossible to be completely honest with them? As far as I amconcerned, I seriously castthis statement into doubt and hold the viewpoint that real friendshipcan lack anything but honesty.

First and foremost, honesty is the foundation of friendship, only complete belief can we win trust from friends. (sang可以再查一下only的倒装，这样用是不对的，only后接名词或代词，句子不倒装；只有only后接状语从句，介词短语，副词，句子才部分倒装。另外这是两个句子，要用连接词and之类的把honesty句和only句联系起来)No one can tolerate a friend, who praises and speakshighly of you in front while behaves totally different at your back. （这句和下面例子不搭，sang再斟酌一下，是换例子还是直接删掉）My friend sherry, unfortunately, fails to keep herpromise to take my place as the supervisor of a project during my absence. Frustrated （形容consequence应该用frustrating?） consequence as our team received, (as的倒装O(∩_∩)O哈！)，in spite of facing the possibility to be blamed, she admittedher fault and sincerely showed her apologize to me. Onthe contrary, not only do I angry with her, but she also obtains my completetrust as a result. （这句话，前后矛盾）Although sometimethe truth is hurting（你再确认下这个词的意思） and hard to receive（貌似receive过了，换个accept试试？）, it is better to lie because of the so-called benefits. Under such circumstances, it is never too exaggerated toassert that honesty is an indispensable part of friendship, withoutwhich nothing can continue smoothly among friends.

Furthermore, friends have significant distinction between（from 不然用between成了那个竞争者和陌生人之间的区别了，但猜测sang应该是要表达朋友和陌生人&竞争者的区别吧）competitors and strangers. People conceal business secrets to （conceal from）their competitors, state something unreal about their products at themere wish to attract as many consumers as possible, or, even worse, send fake information to enemiesin order to destroy them. Such is human nature,that they always take more self-benefits out of instinct.（这句话可以不要啊，感觉对sang支持的论点不好呢） However, friends care about us and are part of ourfamily, to whom we are supposed to spare no secrets.（我觉得如果是这样的话，sang在这里要加些细节或者例子来支持朋友是怎么做的，不然前面大段写了陌生人&竞争者的不好，后面就只有空荡荡的一句话）

Admittedly, it is understandable that people lie to friends out of selfish.Afraid to be inferior to friends, they claim to have fun every night butendeavor to study instead, or even participate in competition, attend interviewor take training without informing their friends. If you encounter friends behave （who behave / behaving）in this way, I would like to suggest you stay away from them. Thesekinds of people are not real friends. A veritable friend is someone with whom you fighttogether, who raises you up when you confronted with adversities and challenges and who is proudof you at time（还是用when吧，attime貌似是偶尔的意思）you obtainbrilliant achievement or succeed. Nothing can be compared, with the enthusiasmin friends’ hearts, with the timely assistance from friends and with theirdeterminations to gothrough thick and thin with you.

In a nutshell, on the one hand, to build up friendship, one is obliged to behonest to each other. On the other hand, it is naturally that trueborn friends aretrustworthy. Taking all factors into consideration, no excuse can be maintainednot to be completely honest with your friends.
TO sang
1.文章字数绝对够又木有单词拼写等错误，牛叉O(∩_∩)O~
2.依然如此丰富的词汇&各种倒装等句式的应用，赞\(^o^)/~
3.关于you在独立中我记得有人说过最好不要在文章中出现~
4.关于偏题问题，这个题目的话，从分析来说，反面比较好写，因为你只要举出不得不撒谎的例子来就好了。。。。但是sang这样写很不错O(∩_∩)O~
PS 看sang的文，总是勾起很多高中的回忆，only的倒装曾经高中二年半在某位老师的要求下，必用作文结尾句，甚至曾笑言，看到only倒装就知道是我们班的孩儿写的，唉，人老了，果然就容易回忆了%>_<%

-- by 会员易雨水巷 (2012/5/15 16:46:51)

谢谢水巷每次认真的批改和意见~~太有用了！！！
现在写作文都不动脑子了，嗨。。语法什么的早都忘了55
水巷是哪年FALL叻？

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-15 20:18
5月15日11.2.12 ML Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Now everywhere is so busy and crowded that being polite is unnecessary.

Have you ever stayed in the cramped subway on your way to work? Have you ever felt so busy that 24 hours a day is totally insufficient? Have you been hurted unconsciously by someone rush to work without apologizing to you? Such is the current tendency that the everywhere is becoming more and more crowded and busy. However, does it mean we do not need to be polite? From my perspective, I am strongly in favor of the statement that polite is an indispensable part in our lives.

First and foremost, polite, a traditional Chinese virtue, occupies a dominant position in today's society. It is a personality that everyone is supposed to born with and people are expected to behave politely out of instinct. Consider that when finished your troublesome assignment, you are about to go home by bus. During the rush hour, buses are crawling, the compartment is cramped and crowded, you fails to find a seat but have to stand although exhaused. Suddenly, someone hurts you without conscious and then follows his/her sincere apology. Angry might you get at the first time, the polite way he/she behaves drives away your negative mood immediately. Under such circumstances, it is obviously that being polite is important because it avoid an unnecessary quarrel in public.

Moreover, being polite can win popularity among different people. As a supervisor , taking care of employees and talking to them about daily life can add positive impression. An employee, paying attention to colleagues and appreciating them for the timely assistance can contribute to a harmonious working atmosphere. A stranger, a kindly apology for unintended infringe can drive away conflict and warm others' hearts. At that note, it is never too exaggerated to emphasize the importance of being polite.

Admittedly, in today fast-pace society, compared with the general benefits and outcome, few people pay great attention on others behaviors. It is easy to forget some impolite manners, not to mention a rude character from a stranger. However, we should by no means abandon such virtue because of uncertainty of others' feeling. We act politely and hold the belief that each individual would benefit from the harmonious atmosphere in the advanced society.

In a nutshell, according to the reasons above, I definitely come to the statement that being polite is imperative especially in today's busy and crowded society. It is a manner that benefits the whole human beings as well as the general world!

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-16 15:48
516 独立

With the development of science and technology, it is necessary to emphasize the importance of education of young people, who are on behalf of the most advanced power and imagination. Young people are guiled to be equipped with perfect skills and knowledge. When it comes to the role of young people in the whole society, from my perspective, I definitely come to the viewpoint that young people do exert profound influence on decision that determines the future of society.

First and foremost, young people are creative and innovation. With little limitation to the strict rule and traditional mind, their imagination flies through the whole universal and it is easy for them to come up with fantanstic ideas. For example, in a drawing competition which is open for both children and adult, when their compositions are evaluated, it is found that the younger people are, the more mysterious creature and abnormal element their work contain. When asked about motivation, one of kids says his inspiration comes from the cartoon he watches everyday and he even never thought his combination of different character from various of stuffs would not work. In this way, it is obvious that children's innocence and pure mind can unconsciously bring surprise to our lives.

Moreover, another important personality of young people is humbleness, they are likely to receive criticism and make progress without being annoyed. In this way, young people can be better educated and instructed. Without being worried that they would feel unpleasant about weaknesses, a teacher is free to correct their mistakes and fill them with new knowledge. On the contrary, for some experienced adults, they may be addicted to self-satisfaction and neglect their shortcomings. In this case, not only would they not appreciate the timely assistance from others, but also sticks to their old, dangerous way. Consequently, their stubborn habits will cause some negative effects to the whole society.

Admittedly, compared with adults, young people lack experience and time in a specific field. They are inclined to make mistakes and wrong decision before they can handle something in an appropriate way. However, with the elapse of time, experience of adults will finally not correspond with the tendency. We can never pay less attention to the potence from young children, their careful skill of observation, boldness in front of controversy and ability to learn thing quickly can do significant contribution to the society in a long run.

In a nutshell, it is never too exaggerated to put young people in an important position. Taking their potences and inherent characters into consideration, I am strongly in favor of the statement that young people do play an indispensible part in society, especially when it comes to decision which determines the whole future.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-16 18:41
Both reading and listening passage talk about the concerns about bird population after a increase of human population, agriculture and pesticide. The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the reading passage, which indicates that the number of birds will necessarily decline.

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to conclude that birds' natural habitats will disappear, as the reading material mentions. On the contrary, she points out that it only does harm to a minority of birds because with the development of city, more suitable places for big birds have been established. In this way, the birds' population is likely to increase.

Furthermore, the statement that the growth of agriculture will also cause further destruction of bird habitats does not satisfy the professor either. She maintains the lands available for crops are decreased, thus no conversion of birds' habitats to agriculture lands are necessary.

Last but not the least, the reading material also indicates that the use of pesticides has enormous negative impact on birds' population. In contradiction, the professor challenges the argument by mentioning that people have been aware of the consequence of pesticides. Under such circumstances, they come up with two changes. First, develop new and less toxic pesticides. Second, grow and develop more pest-resist crops. In this way can they not only reduce the quantities of chemical pesticides, but also protect birds' population in an effective way.

To sum up, the professor refutes the concern about birds' population in the above three aspects.

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-16 19:02
先来占个座可能明天才能看sang的文了抱歉啊着急交作业

月15 日11.2.12 ML Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Now everywhere is so busy and crowdedthat being polite is unnecessary.

Have you ever stayed in the crampedsubway on your way to work? Have you ever felt so busy that 24 hours a day istotally insufficient? Have you been hurted unconsciously by someone rush towork without apologizing to you? Such is the current tendency that theeverywhere is becoming more and more crowded and busy. However, does it mean wedo not need to be polite? From my perspective, I am strongly in favor of the statement thatpolite is an indispensable part in our lives.

First and foremost, polite (名词吧politeness), a traditional Chinese virtue, occupies a dominant position in today's (modern/contemporary?)society. It is a personality that everyone is supposed to (+be) bornwith and people are expected to behave politely(名词吧politeness) out of instinct. Consider that whenfinished your troublesome assignment, you are about to go home by bus. Duringthe rush hour, buses are crawling, the compartment is cramped and crowded, youfails to find a seat but have to stand although exhaused （exhausted）. Suddenly, someone hurts you without conscious andthen follows his/her sincere apology. Angry might you get at the first time,the polite way he/she behaves drives away your negative mood immediately. Undersuch circumstances, it is obviously that being polite is important because itavoid an unnecessary quarrel in public.

Moreover, being polite can win popularity among different people. As asupervisor , taking care of employees and talking to them about daily life canadd positive impression. An employee, paying attention to colleagues andappreciating them for the timely assistance can contribute to a harmoniousworking atmosphere. A stranger, a kindly apology （这不能做同位语用吧，要不就用and连结要不就Astranger’s kindly apology）forunintendedinfringe （这好像是个动词） can drive away conflict and warm others' hearts. At that note, it isnever too exaggerated to emphasize the importance of being polite.

Admittedly, in today fast-pace society, compared with the general benefits andoutcome, few people pay great attention on others behaviors. It is easy toforget some impolite manners, not to mention a rude character from a stranger.However, weshould by no means abandon such virtue because of uncertainty of others'feeling.（可以考虑用个by nomeans 的倒装） We act politely and hold the belief that each individual wouldbenefit from the harmonious atmosphere in the advanced society.

In a nutshell, according to the reasons above, I definitely come to thestatement that being polite is imperative especially in today's busy and crowded society. It isa manner that benefits the whole human beings as well as the general world!
To sang:
有人给我改的时候说，最好不要出现he/she 这种形式

作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-17 12:52
516 独立
高亮为精彩红色为意见或建议
With the development of science and technology, it isnecessary to emphasize the importance of education of young people, who are on behalf of the mostadvanced power and imagination. Young people are guiled(?)to be equipped with perfect skills and knowledge. When it comes tothe role of young people in the whole society, from my perspective, Idefinitely come to the viewpoint that young people do exert profound influence on decision thatdetermines the future of society.

First and foremost, young people are creative and innovation(innovative). With little limitation to the strict rule and traditionalmind, their imagination flies through the whole universal and it is easy forthem to come up with fantanstic (fantastic) ideas.For example, in a drawing (?这个词在这里啥意思？) competition which isopen for both children and adult, when their compositions are evaluated, it isfound that the younger people are, the more mysterious creature and abnormalelement their work contain (contains). When asked about motivation, one of kids says his inspiration comes fromthe cartoon he watches everyday and he even never thought his combination ofdifferent character （characters复数比较好） from various of(去掉if吧，various是个形容词) stuffs would not work. In this way, it is obvious that children'sinnocence and pure mind can unconsciously bring surprise to our lives.

Moreover, another important personality of young peopleis humbleness, they are likely to receive criticism and make progress withoutbeing annoyed. （两句话无连接词）In this way, young people can be better educated and instructed.Without being worried that they would feel unpleasant about weaknesses, ateacher is free to correct their mistakes and fill them with new knowledge. Onthe contrary, for some experienced adults, they may be addicted toself-satisfaction and neglect their shortcomings. In this case, not only would they notappreciate the timely assistance from others, but also sticks to their old,dangerous way. Consequently, their stubborn habits will cause somenegative effects to the whole society.

Admittedly, compared with adults, young people lack experience and time in aspecific field. They are inclined to make mistakes and wrong decision （decisions）before they can handle something in anappropriate way. However, with the elapse of time, experience of adults will finally not correspondwith the tendency. We can never pay less attention to the potence （potency）fromyoung children, their careful skill of observation, boldness in front ofcontroversy and ability to learn thing quickly can do significant contributionto the society in a long run.

In a nutshell, it is never too exaggerated to put young people in an importantposition. Taking their potences (potency) andinherent characters into consideration, I am strongly in favor of the statementthat young people do play an indispensible part in society, especially when itcomes to decision which determines the whole future.
To sang:
感觉这两次读下来，顺畅很多啦，很棒的sang,每次都能学到很多词汇
加油哦

作者: lxc1989614 时间: 2012-5-17 16:01
Both reading and listening passage talk about the concerns about bird population after a increase of human population, agriculture and pesticide. The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the reading passage, which indicates that the number of birds will necessarily decline.这句错了，是不会减少

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to conclude that birds' natural habitats will disappear, as the reading material mentions. On the contrary, she points out that it only does harm to a minority（some） of birds because with the development of city, more suitable places for big birds have been established. In this way, the birds' population is likely to increase.

Furthermore, the statement in the reading that the growth of agriculture will also cause further destruction of bird habitats does not satisfy the professor either. She maintains the lands available for crops are decreased, thus no conversion of birds' habitats to agriculture lands are necessary.这段有点问题，建议重听

Last but not the least, the reading material also indicates that the use of pesticides has enormous negative impact on birds' population. In contradiction, the professor challenges the argument by mentioning that people have been aware of the consequence of pesticides. Under such circumstances, they come up with two changes. First, develop new and less toxic pesticides. Second, grow and develop more pest-resist crops. In this way can they not only reduce the quantities of chemical pesticides, but also protect birds' population in an effective way.这段没啥问题，都听对了~
·
To sum up, the professor refutes the concern about birds' population in the above three aspects. 最后一段可以不写其实

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-17 17:29
517 独立

With the development of science and technology, various of occupations come out. People hold different career and stay in the illusion that their career have a secure and successful future. When it comes to the controversy whether it is easier for people in the past to identify the certainty of future jobs, from my perspective, i am strongly in favor of the announcement that people in the past had advantage judging a career and my reasons are as follows.

First and foremost, the people in that past insisted to the simple rule that the more people take one occupation, the better opportunity and brighter future it has. Less fierce the competitions were, poor living standards people had and the tuition fees were too high for them to afford. Such is the condition in the past that even a person with a college degree can have a secure future, not to mention the selection of job. When the enrollment of college students increased, they assert that the traditional jobs such as teacher, doctor and police enjoy great popularity. In this way, their children's direction have already been set up before they attend university, they can effortlessly find a suitable job after graduation because of the highly demand job market. It is never too exaggerated to assert that the loose structure of market does provide a pleasant atmosphere for people to find a potential job.

Furthermore, with the development of society, the population increased at a highest rate, the living standards of people largely enhanced thus more and more people are available at the job market. Under such circumstances, it is formidable to evaluate an occupation. For example, one of my classmates Herny was encouraged to take chemistry as major because of the great demand for chemical experts that time. However, after he eight years' arduous work, he finally achieved the PHD degree but found it is almost impossible to find a satisfactory job. The working market has converted a lot within several years without prediction. At that note, it is obviously harder for people in current to judge the future of certain career.

Admittedly, the advanced society has provided us with an opportunity to evaluate the investment and outcome based on special situation and others' experience, but we can hardly catch up with the tendency of job market. Such is often the case, a majority of parents encouraged their children to take a current popular subject. Consequently, the quantity of people in such field become more than needed, thus leading an unpleasant result for many people who work so hard for a guaranteed occupation.

In a nutshell, in view of the fierce competition and unpredictable job market in today's society, I can definitely come to the agreement that people in the past are easier to identify a career.

作者: lucystar2012 时间: 2012-5-18 12:15
it is obviously that being polite is important because itavoid(avoids) an unnecessary quarrel in public.

亲，真不好意思，这两天肠炎没来得及看~~刚才看了一下别人修改得基本都好。。。这是我发现的一个遗漏地方，算是鸡蛋里挑骨头了~~

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-18 18:09
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Since the world has changed so much in the past fifty years, advice our grandparents can give us is not useful.

Of great importance our grandparents to us, that they teach us basic morality since we were children and exert profound influence on us as traditional educators do. However, does it mean that their advices are still useful and helpful? From my perspective, I cast that statement into doubt. On the contrary, I am more inclined to assert that grandparents’ advices are less useful than before.

First and foremost, with the development of science and technology, everything updates quickly. In contradiction, grandparents’ views do not change much and they still stick seriously to the old tradition. For example, grandfather of my friend Herny insists
to let him work as a doctor because of his fantastic impression about medical. According to his grandfather’s wish and advice, Herny attends medical school and begins his 10 years study. Consequently, after several years’ arduous journey, he finally graduates but fails to find a job. As is known, the request for a doctor has become much more strict than before, it is not that effortless to become a doctor. In this way, it is never too exaggerated to assert that grandparents’ advice can hardly catch up with the current tendency.

Moreover, the system of knowledge also develops at a highest rate, the facilities of education and management are totally different from past. Without the knowledge of computer, grandparents can hardly provide us with efficient advice on our ways of living and studying. In the same way, lack the ability to solve current problem in an effective way, grandparents find it of great difficulty to assist us academically. Under such circumstances, it is obvious that grandparents’ advice can hardly do any contribution to us.

Admittedly, grandparents are wisdom and accumulate abundant experience, so they can sometimes judge things in a distinct viewpoint and offer us appropriate advices. However, it is undeniable that most of their standpoints are run out of date and unsuitable to today’s society. People are more likely to turn to their peers and instructors for assistance than to grandparents.

In a nutshell, taking the fast development of society and the stubborn, traditional minds of old people into consideration, I definitely come to the statement that grandparents’ advices are formidable to satisfy us .

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-18 18:14
518 综合

Both reading and listening material talk about buzzers, who are hire by company to promote products. The student mentions three aspects to contradict the reading passage, which indicates that buzzers should be banned.

To begin with, the student considers it too general to state that buzzers provide incorrect information about product, as the reading passage asserts. He argues by saying that buzzers are people who are satisfied with the products after using them, like he does with his phone service, and they act in a way totally different from advertisments . In this way, the buzzers do tell the truth about products.

Furthermore, the argument that consumers listen to endorsement less critically from private individual does not satisfy the student either. In the opposite, he points out that consumers always ask a lot about the products before they purcharse, such as price, service and longevity. In this case, only satisfactory answers can persuade consumers to buy the products.

Last but not the least, the reading material maintains that buzzing is likely to spread mistrust and dishonesty in society. In contradiction, the students refutes by saying that companies do not recruit buzzers unless they themselves speak highly of the products. Under such circumstances, the good experience can add more trust to the whole society.

作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-5-18 23:29
5.17 独立改文
5.17 独立改文~

红色错误，黄色高亮，蓝色疑问

开动啦~

With the development of science and technology（其实这句有点俗啦，可以说的具体一点的，比如有房子有车子之类了）, various of occupations come out.（In the contemporary society, a multitude of residents are able to be engaged in various occupations.） People hold different careers and stay in the illusion that their careers have a secure and successful future. When it comes to the controversy whether it is easier for people in the past to identify the certainty of future jobs, from my perspective, i(这个要大写，忘了，有木有~)am strongly in favor of the announcement that people in the past had advantages (on感觉需要加一个介词) judging a career and my reasons are as follows.

First and foremost, the people in that past insisted to the simple rule that the more people take one occupation, the better opportunity and brighter future it has. （这句话怪怪的，求解释）Less fierce the competitions were, poor living standards people had and the tuition fees were too high for them to afford. Such is the condition in the past that even a person with a college degree can have a secure future, not to mention the selection of job. When the enrollment of college students increased, they assert that the traditional jobs such as teacher, doctor and police enjoy great popularity. In this way, their children's direction have already been set up before they attend university, they can effortlessly find a suitable job after graduation because of the highly demand （of）job market. It is never too exaggerated to assert(denote) that the loose（这个词有点贬义，建议换一个） structure of market does provide a pleasant atmosphere for people to find a potential job.

Furthermore, with the development of society, the population increased at a highest rate, the living standards of people largely enhanced thus more and more people are(to be) available at the job market. Under such circumstances, it is formidable to evaluate an occupation. For example, one of my classmates Herny（是Henry吧？） was encouraged to take chemistry as major because of the great demand for chemical experts that time. However, after he(his) eight years' arduous work, he finally achieved the PHD degree but found it is almost impossible to find a satisfactory job. The working market has converted a lot within several years without prediction. At that note, it is obviously harder for people in current to judge the future of certain career.

Admittedly, the advanced society has provided us with an opportunity to evaluate the investment and outcome based on special situation and others' experience, but we can hardly catch up with the tendency of job market. Such is often the case(哇，学走了~), a majority of parents encouraged their children to take a current popular subject. Consequently, the quantity of people in such field become more than needed, thus leading an unpleasant result for many people who work so hard for a guaranteed occupation.

In a nutshell, in view of the fierce competition and unpredictable job market in today's society, I can definitely come to the agreement that people in the past are easier to identify a career.

Conclusion：1.观点很清晰，不错

2.有个别错误，像单复数、词组的搭配，多注意一下吧

Ps:有用模板吗？看起来好好~

作者: 陈。彤学 时间: 2012-5-19 19:45

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Since the world haschanged so much in the past fifty years, advice our grandparents can give us isnot useful.

蓝色背景的是我觉得用的好的我都记下来了留着以后用~

例子很恰当，用了让步，感觉很有说服力，用词也好，没有找到大的问题，advice当“忠告建议”讲的时候，应该是不可数的，不该加s。

写的真好，以后多向你学习~

加油~~

Of great importance our grandparentsto us, that they teach us basic morality since we were children and exertprofound influence on us as traditional educators do. However, does it meanthat their advices are still useful and helpful? From my perspective, I cast that statement into doubt. On the contrary, I am more inclined to assert that grandparents’ advices areless useful than before.[句式很好，摆脱了平淡的常用句式]

First and foremost, with the development ofscience and technology, everything updates quickly. In contradiction,grandparents’ views do not change much and they still stick seriously to the old tradition. For example, grandfather of my friend Hernyinsists
to let him work as a doctor because of hisfantastic impression about medical. According to his grandfather’s wish andadvice, Herny attends medical school and begins his 10 years study.Consequently, after several years’ arduous journey, he finally graduates but failsto find a job. As is known, the request for a doctor has become much morestrict than before, it is not that effortless to become a doctor. In this way,it is never too exaggerated toassert that grandparents’ advicecan hardly catch up with the current tendency.[例子很恰当~]

Moreover, the system of knowledge alsodevelops at a highest rate, the facilities of education and management aretotally different from past. Without the knowledge of computer,grandparents can hardly provide us with efficient advice on our ways of livingand studying. In the same way, lack the ability to solve current problem in aneffective way, grandparents find it of great difficulty to assist usacademically. Under such circumstances, it is obvious that grandparents’ advicecan hardly do any contribution to us.

Admittedly, grandparents are wisdom and accumulate abundant experience, so they can sometimes judge things in a distinctviewpoint and offer us appropriate advices（advice不可数）. However, it isundeniable that most of their standpoints are run out of date and unsuitable to today’s society. People are more likely to turn totheir peers and instructors for assistance than to grandparents.

In a nutshell, taking the fast development of society and the stubborn, traditionalminds of old people into consideration, I definitely come to the statement thatgrandparents’ advices are formidable to satisfy us .

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-6-27 21:26
627 综合

Both reading and listening passage discuss the issue about literature. The reading passage asserts that the decreased number of people who read literature has termendous negative impact. However, the professor casts doubt on such assertion in the following three aspects.

Initially, the professor considers it too general to state the decline of book reading leads people to miss out important benefits, as the reading passage claims. She indicated that other forms of books, such as scientific fiction, politic books and history works, are of high quality as well. They can be as creative as literature and improve people's imagination. Moreover, she also points out that literature is not the same as good book.（重听了一遍，应该是she also points out that someone who dose not read literature is not a proof that he/she dose not read a good book. ）

Furthermore, the reading passage declares that less people are fond of reading literature and that literature is replaced by other poorly works or other kinds of entertainment, which results in a lower culture standard. In contradiction, the lecturer refutes by illustrating that the replacement of other type of material does not mean a decline of culture standard. Music and movie are both form of available cultural expression and even more close to the contemporary than literature does.

Finally, although admits the decline of support to literature, to disprove the statement that readers have contributed to the decrease of literature in reading passage, the professor mentions that it is authors' fault instead, because they are likely to write literature that is difficult for readers to understand.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-6-27 21:31
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

“What should we do when our children confronted with problems and assignments? Are we supposed to help them figure out all the difficulties or just let them act in their own way?” Such are common concerns raised among parents about the right way to educate their children. From my own perspective, encouraging children to do their work independently is definitely the most appropriate way for the following reasons.

To begin with, for one thing, only by finishing tasks without assistance from others can one form the ability to solve problems independently. For another, it is almost impossible to rely on parents during ones whole lifetime. Therefore, developing ones own skill and power to come over challenges and obstacles is necessary. My sister was send to a boarding school at a very young age, where she did everything by herself, such as making her own schedule, arranging her monthly expense in an appropriate way and solving her difficulties at school by her own means. As a result, my sister becomes more mature than children of her age. Not only did her reduce the concerns and pressure of her parents, but also equip herself with courage and ability to face whatever life brings to her.

Furthermore, letting children do their work by themselves offers them an opportunity to make mistakes and thus make progress. People would never realize their weakness if they follow whatever parents told them. Amy was the apple of her parents’ eyes because she is the only child of her family, and both teachers and neighbors speak highly of her well behaves as well as perfect performance at school. Well commented as she is, she never aware of her internal shortcoming. However, during the military training at the last year of elementary school, she has totally no idea of how to make up her own bed and how to deal with her dirty clothes without her parents doing everything for her. In this way, it is never too exaggerated to assert that it is imperative to learn to finish one’s own task.

Admittedly, children are too young to consider issues from various aspects and come up with a wonderful solution some times. I would like to admit that, under such circumstance, what parents should do is to encourage their children to make trial and error, rather than point them a light, quick method. They may surprisely find that their children are able to solve a math equation in a more effective way, or come up with more creative and innovative ideas.

In a nutshell, as the saying goes “Never let children be flowers in the warm room.” Struggling in a rough path is a more meaningful and impressive way to grow up. Therefore, I can come to the conclusion that parents should by every means encourage their children to work independently without hesitation.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-6-28 20:27
6月28日
100306 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.

Undeniably, our society develops at a rapid rate, and a majority of people hold the viewpoint that the experience and lessons in the past cannot benefit us anymore. However, from my perspective, when faced with problems of the present and the future, it is still necessary to review the past in order to come over them in an efficient way.

Initially, an effective method of management, which led to a pleasing consequence in the past, can serve as a great example for present and future. For all the newly-grown industry or companies which intend to enlarge their service, the successful experience is of great value. An example of a well-known food company can best illustrate the idea. HDL, a company which is known for satisfied service for customers, attracts people all over the country despite that the food is not as tasteful as some typical ones. People never get bored when they wait to get seated because they are provided with various ways to kill time, such as chess, delicious snacks or nail-painting. Thus, it is never too exaggerated to assert that the success of HDL can serve as a classical example for all service industries which are eager to find a perfect way to attract customers either in the present or the future.

Furthermore, the failure of certain events is useful to warn people in the present or future to avoid making the same mistakes as well. In this way, they can achieve their goals without wasting large amounts of energy and money. A sport shop estimated its potential quantities of climbing products based on theory, rather than measurement. Consequently, the decline of economy brought less people than usual to the mountain areas, and that shop suffered from a huge, but unnecessary loss if they had taken more aspects into consideration. Obviously, the lesson of such sport shop is able to remind people in the present and future to make solution on research, not on theory.

Admittedly, with the development of science and technology, a multitude new equipments and new ways of management come out. People may thus indicate that the old methods are totally out of date. Nevertheless, the basic principals never change with the elapse of time, such as the theory ”Customer is god” and the regulation that ”Honesty is the bottom line ”. Every time people desire to make a different decision or try something new to solve a problem, review and stick to these classical rules, it would definitely ensure them act in an appropriate way.

In a nutshell, taken both warning and benefits of past events into account, I just arrive at the conclusion that it is imperative to review the past in order to solve today or future’s difficulties smoothly.

作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-6-28 20:51
sang加油明天我来改作文~

作者: tyyhappy 时间: 2012-6-29 20:05
紫色是建议，蓝色是疑问，黄色是高亮，红色是修改。最后是废话·····以我的水平提不出什么建议·····
Undeniably, our society develops at a rapid rate, and a majority of people hold the viewpoint that the experience and lessons in the past cannot benefit us anymore. However, from my perspective, when faced with problems of the present and the future, it is still necessary to review the past in order to come over (come over 是顺便，抓住的意思，come it over[俚语] 是“对…作威作福，称王称霸；对…摆威风；凌驾于…之上”的意思，用overcome吧) them in an efficient way.

Initially, an effective method of management, which led to a pleasing consequence in the past, can serve as a great example for present and future. For all the newly-grown industry or companies which intend to enlarge their service （加个ranges可好？）, the successful experience is of great value. An example of a well-known food company can best illustrate the idea. HDL, a company which is known for satisfied（satisfying） service for customers, attracts people all over the country despite that the food is not as tasteful as some typical ones（觉得用despite that 绕嘴，不如直接though）. People never get bored when they wait to get seated （+inside）because they are provided with various ways to kill time, such as chess, delicious snacks or nail-painting. Thus, it is never too exaggerated to assert that the success of HDL can serve as a classical example for all service industries which are eager to find （thirsty for。这么改是因为我读的时候to有点多，别扭。还有这个句子有点长啊） a perfect way to attract customers either in the present or the future. （这么讲好不好“Thus, it is never too exaggerated to assert that the success of HDL can serve as a classical example，either in the present or the future， for all service industries which are thirsty for a perfect way to attract customers.”）
(严谨有力的论证过程，稀罕。)

Furthermore, the failure of certain events is useful to warn people in the present or future to avoid making the same mistakes as well. In this way, they can achieve their goals without wasting large amounts of energy and money.（加个For instance,） A sport shop estimated its potential quantities of climbing products based on theory, rather than measurement. Consequently, (觉得用as 改成因果关系更好理解句子)the decline of economy brought less people than usual to the mountain areas, and that shop suffered from a huge, but unnecessary loss if they had taken more aspects into consideration（这个条件状语加在这里不通顺呀）. Obviously, the lesson of such sport shop is able to remind people in the present and future to make solution（solution解决方案，不合适哈） on research, not on theory.

Admittedly, with the development of science and technology, a multitude （of）new equipments （equipment） and new ways of management come out. People may thus indicate that the old methods are totally out of date. Nevertheless, the basic principals (principals) never change with the elapse of time, such as the theory ”Customer is god” and the regulation that ”Honesty is the bottom line ”. Every time people desire to make a different decision or try something new to solve a problem, review and stick to these classical rules（reviewing and sticking to these classical rules觉得应该用伴随）, it would definitely ensure them（they，ensure后面加n或者句子ensure sb do sth 很少见） act in an appropriate way.

In a nutshell, taken both warning and benefits of past events into account, I just arrive at the conclusion that it is imperative to review the past in order to solve today or future’s difficulties smoothly.

To sang。

很好的文，我只能鸡蛋里面挑骨头了····

词汇丰富，句式结构很好。论证思路很好。例子很好。

作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-6-29 21:01
我来啦~~~让sang久等啦

Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

“What should we do when our children（are） confronted with problems and assignments? Are we supposed to help them figure out all the difficulties or just let them act in their own way?” Such are common concerns raised among (by) parents about the right way to educate their children. From my own perspective, encouraging children to do their work independently is definitely the most appropriate way for the following reasons.

To begin with, for one thing, only by finishing tasks without assistance from others can one form the ability to solve problems independently. For another, it is almost impossible to rely on parents during ones (one’s) whole lifetime. Therefore, developing ones (one’s) own skill and power to come over challenges and obstacles is necessary(主语太长，不符合美语表达习惯，建议it’s necessary to…的句型。). （For instance, 添上表示逻辑链条的指示）My sister was send (sent) to a boarding school at a very young age, where she did everything by herself, such as making her own schedule, arranging her monthly expense（budget） in an appropriate way and solving her difficulties at school by her own means. As a result, my sister becomes more mature than (other 比较) children of her age. Not only did her (she主语) reduce the concerns and pressure of her parents, but also equip herself with courage and ability to face whatever life brings to her.

Furthermore, letting children do their work by themselves offers them an opportunity to make mistakes and thus make progress. （This is because）People would never realize their weakness if they follow whatever parents told (tell) them. (Take my friend Amy for an example.) (后面举例的时态要统一，都用过去时或者都用现在时。)Amy was the apple of her parents’ eyes because she is (as简化) the only child of her family, and both teachers and neighbors speak highly of her well behaves（可以做N？hehavior） as well as perfect performance at school. Well commented as she is (it seems), she (is) never aware of her internal shortcoming. However,(前后是顺承，不是转折啊) during the military training at（in）the last year of elementary school, she has totally no idea of how to make up her own bed and how to deal with her dirty clothes without her parents doing everything for her（aside。感觉这句写的比较啰嗦呢）. In this way,（用这种方法？In that note,）it is never too exaggerated to assert that it is imperative to learn to finish one’s own task.（结论跟这段要论证的不太符合啊，最好是论点句的同意转换就好了）

Admittedly, children are too young to consider issues from various aspects and come up with a wonderful solution some times（all the time）. I would like to admit that,(跟第一个词重复。Actually，) under such circumstance, what parents should do is to encourage their children to make（grow up through感觉鼓励试错太。。。鼓励成长吧。） trial and error, rather than point them (out) a light, quick method（directly）. They may surprisely (有这个词么？Much to their surprise,)find that their children are（,in most cases,） able to solve a math equation in a more effective way, or come up with more creative and innovative ideas.

In a nutshell, as the saying goes (,)“Never let children be flowers in the warm room.” Struggling in a rough path is a more meaningful and impressive way to grow up. Therefore, I can come to the conclusion that parents should by every means encourage their children to work independently without hesitation.

基本的内容、结构都很完美啦。几点小建议：

语法错误比较多，时态、主语谓语等都是写作基本功，一定要尽量做到百分百正确，不然这种低级错误很影响考官对你作文的整体印象的。

句子有些散，建议多用些逻辑连接词，加强句子间的逻辑。

语言有种汉翻英的感觉，建议再多积累一些短的、地道的表达结构。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-6-29 21:43

我来啦~~~让sang久等啦

Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

“What should we do when our children（are） confronted with problems and assignments? Are we supposed to help them figure out all the difficulties or just let them act in their own way?” Such are common concerns raised among (by) parents about the right way to educate their children. From my own perspective, encouraging children to do their work independently is definitely the most appropriate way for the following reasons.

To begin with, for one thing, only by finishing tasks without assistance from others can one form the ability to solve problems independently. For another, it is almost impossible to rely on parents during ones (one’s) whole lifetime. Therefore, developing ones (one’s) own skill and power to come over challenges and obstacles is necessary(主语太长，不符合美语表达习惯，建议it’s necessary to…的句型。). （For instance, 添上表示逻辑链条的指示）My sister was send (sent) to a boarding school at a very young age, where she did everything by herself, such as making her own schedule, arranging her monthly expense（budget） in an appropriate way and solving her difficulties at school by her own means. As a result, my sister becomes more mature than (other 比较) children of her age. Not only did her (she主语) reduce the concerns and pressure of her parents, but also equip herself with courage and ability to face whatever life brings to her.

Furthermore, letting children do their work by themselves offers them an opportunity to make mistakes and thus make progress. （This is because）People would never realize their weakness if they follow whatever parents told (tell) them. (Take my friend Amy for an example.) (后面举例的时态要统一，都用过去时或者都用现在时。)Amy was the apple of her parents’ eyes because she is (as简化) the only child of her family, and both teachers and neighbors speak highly of her well behaves（可以做N？hehavior） as well as perfect performance at school. Well commented as she is (it seems), she (is) never aware of her internal shortcoming. However,(前后是顺承，不是转折啊) during the military training at（in）the last year of elementary school, she has totally no idea of how to make up her own bed and how to deal with her dirty clothes without her parents doing everything for her（aside。感觉这句写的比较啰嗦呢）. In this way,（用这种方法？In that note,）it is never too exaggerated to assert that it is imperative to learn to finish one’s own task.（结论跟这段要论证的不太符合啊，最好是论点句的同意转换就好了）

Admittedly, children are too young to consider issues from various aspects and come up with a wonderful solution some times（all the time）. I would like to admit that,(跟第一个词重复。Actually，) under such circumstance, what parents should do is to encourage their children to make（grow up through感觉鼓励试错太。。。鼓励成长吧。） trial and error, rather than point them (out) a light, quick method（directly）. They may surprisely (有这个词么？Much to their surprise,)find that their children are（,in most cases,） able to solve a math equation in a more effective way, or come up with more creative and innovative ideas.

In a nutshell, as the saying goes (,)“Never let children be flowers in the warm room.” Struggling in a rough path is a more meaningful and impressive way to grow up. Therefore, I can come to the conclusion that parents should by every means encourage their children to work independently without hesitation.

基本的内容、结构都很完美啦。几点小建议：

语法错误比较多，时态、主语谓语等都是写作基本功，一定要尽量做到百分百正确，不然这种低级错误很影响考官对你作文的整体印象的。

句子有些散，建议多用些逻辑连接词，加强句子间的逻辑。

语言有种汉翻英的感觉，建议再多积累一些短的、地道的表达结构。

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/29 21:01:53)

谢谢鸟儿姐！！～～一下指明一条明路吖哈哈～
继续努力！

作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-6-29 21:48
别急，还有个综合的小建议捏~

627 综合

Both reading and listening passage discuss（这样会不会生动一点？At hand is） the issue about literature. The reading passage asserts that the decreased number of people who read literature has（a） termendous negative impact. However, the professor casts doubt on such assertion in the following three aspects.

Initially, the professor considers it too general to state (that 后面是句子，不能丢) the decline of book reading leads people to miss out important benefits（这句中式表达啊，晕晕的。too hasty to blame A for B ）, as the reading passage claims. She indicated（时态） that other forms of books, such as scientific fiction, politic books and history works, are of high quality as well. They can be as creative as literature and improve people's imagination. Moreover, she also points out that literature is not the same as good book.（重听了一遍，应该是she also points out that someone who dose not read literature is not a proof that he/she dose not read a good book. ）？简化后是someone is not a proof

Furthermore, the reading passage declares that less people are fond of reading literature and that literature is replaced by other poorly works or other kinds of entertainment, which（G语法中which不能指代前面整句话,是就近指代。可以把后面的改成，resulting） results in a lower culture standard. In contradiction, the lecturer refutes (this statement) by illustrating that the replacement of other type of material does not mean a decline of culture standard. Music and movie (, however, 总觉得前后句子之间有点散) are both form of available cultural expression and even more close to the contemporary than literature does.

Finally, although admits the decline of support to literature, to disprove the statement（ in reading）that readers have contributed to the decrease of literature in reading passage, the professor mentions that it is authors' fault instead, because they are likely to write literature that is difficult for readers to understand. （感觉这个句型太绕，而美国人喜欢直接说重点。）

内容我不确定，我看完的感觉主要是句型不够地道，就看的云里雾里。要注意学习范文的表达。

去下载昨天上传的那个TPO1-17范文+模版提取吧，我当时就是反复背诵里面的句子，收获很大呢。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-1 09:22

别急，还有个综合的小建议捏~

627 综合

Both reading and listening passage discuss（这样会不会生动一点？At hand is） the issue about literature. The reading passage asserts that the decreased number of people who read literature has（a） termendous negative impact. However, the professor casts doubt on such assertion in the following three aspects.

Initially, the professor considers it too general to state (that 后面是句子，不能丢) the decline of book reading leads people to miss out important benefits（这句中式表达啊，晕晕的。too hasty to blame A for B ）, as the reading passage claims. She indicated（时态） that other forms of books, such as scientific fiction, politic books and history works, are of high quality as well. They can be as creative as literature and improve people's imagination. Moreover, she also points out that literature is not the same as good book.（重听了一遍，应该是she also points out that someone who dose not read literature is not a proof that he/she dose not read a good book. ）？简化后是someone is not a proof

Furthermore, the reading passage declares that less people are fond of reading literature and that literature is replaced by other poorly works or other kinds of entertainment, which（G语法中which不能指代前面整句话,是就近指代。可以把后面的改成，resulting） results in a lower culture standard. In contradiction, the lecturer refutes (this statement) by illustrating that the replacement of other type of material does not mean a decline of culture standard. Music and movie (, however, 总觉得前后句子之间有点散) are both form of available cultural expression and even more close to the contemporary than literature does.

Finally, although admits the decline of support to literature, to disprove the statement（ in reading）that readers have contributed to the decrease of literature in reading passage, the professor mentions that it is authors' fault instead, because they are likely to write literature that is difficult for readers to understand. （感觉这个句型太绕，而美国人喜欢直接说重点。）

内容我不确定，我看完的感觉主要是句型不够地道，就看的云里雾里。要注意学习范文的表达。

去下载昨天上传的那个TPO1-17范文+模版提取吧，我当时就是反复背诵里面的句子，收获很大呢。

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/29 21:48:11)

明白！谢谢鸟儿姐，这次尝试了一个新的，简洁的对比表达，结果转型失败写的又罗嗦又四不像的，55

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-1 09:22
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a newcountry because of the lose of old friends.
Nowadays, thereemerges a tendency that more and more people are moving to a new city or a newcountry for the cleanness atmosphere, the new, attractive life-style, as wellas different people with various of culture background. Although concerns aboutthe lose of old friends are considered as an negative consequence ofimmigration, In my perspective, the advantage of moving to a new area can completelyoverwhelm those concerns.
To begin with, afresh living condition provides people with a totally different feeling and thecuriosity of unknown things. Every experience is unique, wandering around agrand square which is full of people you’ve never seen before, entering theateror shopping mall during weekend time, a kind of entertainment you never enjoyedin the old rural area before, or just talking to native people about thehistory and costumer of the city. My friend Christine has moved to America withher parents at a very young age, difficult as it was at the very beginning, shesoon adapted to the new costumers and environment in her community. She alwaysgoes skating and climbing with her friends during the weekends and enjoys theparties hold by different families. ” You can never image how wonderful my newlife here is in America.” she writes me.
Moreover, whatcomes with the immigration is the opportunity of advancement or benefit of thewhole family. It is human nature that people change their living environmentsin searching for a better quality of life. For example, many mid-class peopleare wiling to sacrifice their current, well-paid job and move to big city justin order to guarantee their children an advanced education and insurance system.Under such circumstances, those young adults are more likely to be instructedby experienced professor, obtaining more opportunities to put their knowledgeinto practice or finding a satisfied occupation. Therefore, it is never tooexaggerated to assert that moving to a new area is a wise choice.
Admittedly, othersmay complain about losing their old, intimate friends and the difficulty toadjust to the new environment. However, with the development of science andtechnology, a multitude of residents are able to communicate through computerand cellphone. In this way, they never have to worry about losing contact withfriends. Furthermore, people are inclined to make new friends in theircommunity, with whom they can hang out or have fun together. Therefore, I definitelybelieve that the warmth of local people will make those new-comers feel at homeeven they are miles apart.
In a nutshell,although it is a little disappointed at the mere mention of losing friends whenmoving to a new city or country, people are more like to find a more colorfuland fantastic new life there and keep in touch with old friends with theassistance of computer or cellphone at the same time. As the reasons above, Ican come to the statement that it is a wonderful thing to move to new areawithout hesitation.

作者: tyyhappy 时间: 2012-7-1 16:34
Nowadays, there emerges a tendency that more and more people are moving to a new city or a new country for the cleanness atmosphere, the new, attractive life-style, as well as different people with various of（various可以直接用，不用of） culture background. Although concerns about the lose(loss) of old friends are considered as an(a) negative consequence of immigration, In my perspective, the advantage of moving to a new area can completely overwhelm those concerns.
To begin with, a fresh living condition provides people with a totally different feeling and the curiosity of unknown things. Every experience is unique, wandering around a grand square which is full of people you’ve never seen before, entering（visiting吧,enter强调动作） theater or shopping mall during weekend time, a kind of entertainment you never enjoyed in the old rural area before, or just talking to native people about the history and costumer of the city. My friend Christine has moved to America with her parents at a very young age, difficult as it was at the very beginning, (+but,和第一个句子并列了，少个连词)she soon adapted to the new costumers（customs） and environment in her community. She always goes skating and climbing with her friends during the weekends and enjoys the parties hold(held :hold held held) by different families. ” You can never image how wonderful my new life here is in America.” she writes (to) me.
Moreover, what comes with the immigration is the opportunity of advancement or benefit of the whole family. It is human nature that people change their living environments in searching for a better quality of life. For example, many mid-class people are wiling (willing) to sacrifice their current, well-paid job and move to big city(cities) just in order to guarantee their children an advanced education and insurance system. Under such circumstances, those young adults are more likely to be instructed by experienced professor, obtaining more opportunities to put their knowledge into practice or finding a satisfied (satisfying令人满意的)occupation. Therefore, it is never too exaggerated to assert that moving to a new area is a wise choice.
Admittedly, others may complain about losing their old, intimate friends and the difficulty to adjust to the new environment. However, with the development of science and technology, a multitude of residents are able to communicate through computer and cellphone. In this way, they never have to worry about losing contact with friends. Furthermore, people are inclined to make new friends in their community, with whom they can hang out or have fun together. Therefore, I definitely believe that the warmth of local people will make those new-comers feel at home even they are miles apart.
In a nutshell, although it is a little disappointed at the mere mention of losing friends when moving to a new city or country, people are more like to find a more colorful and fantastic new life there and keep in touch with old friends with the assistance of computer or cellphone at the same time. As(For) the reasons above, I can come to the statement that it is a wonderful thing to move to new area without hesitation.

很好的习作呢。

第一遍感受：结构很整齐，语句很通畅。错误较少。带我回头好好读读。

第二遍感受：其实全文基本都是优秀的亮点，但是，亮点多了，我就只标了一个。句子长短合适，读起来舒服。词汇丰富。

但是用词方面的错误较多，个人认为是有些是chinglish，有些是对词语的把握不准确。建议：用词的时候可以查一下例句，看看这个词一般怎么用。再一个，对于一些说法，可以去google下，如果结果不是很相似，就说明这样的用法是不地道的。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-4 21:02

7月4日

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? In the past people eat more healthy food than what people havenowadays

Such a great concern that people nowadays are eating less healthy food than they did in past. With the constantly developmentof technology, enormous change happened to the food we eat today at the same time. Faced with such a serious issue, from my perspective, I have to admit that the food quality in present is inferior to it before.

The first and major reason contributes to such change is that more and more people are pursuing huge profits at the sacrifice of their morality. In order to obtain quantities of return and keep their products fresh as long as possible, they add chemical additives into food to make them tasty and full of nutrition. Consequently, side effects far exceed the benefits as their expectation. For instance, the tragedy of baby milk has exerted deep impression on public. Thousands of babies suffered from the serious negative influence owing to the chemical additives put in the milk,even a few of them lost their young life without gaining an opportunity to experience this colorful world. Condemned were those cruel milk producers, it is also undeniable that the security of food has become more and more obscure.

Furthermore, the process of environment deteoriation(deterioration) also cast some negative impact on the food qualities. The conditions where organism grows today are notas appropriate as they used to. For example, the soil standard and aircondition has been largely affected by global warming, they are unable tofurnish plants with sufficient nutrition and moisture. Unfortunetly(unfortunately), such consequence has a chain effect. Toxin accumulated as food goesforward to a higher level in food cycle, and human beings, who occupy the top of the cycle, are subjected to damage to the fullest.

Despite the fact that thanks to process of globalization and expansion of technology, people grasp the change to enjoy all kinds of food, whether local one or that imported from foreign countries.Eating food of various locations and cooking methods is obviously an exciting experience. However, it is not news that an increasing number of people are reported to suffer from food poisoning and physical disorder. With multiple choices of food types, we can hardly find out 100 percent healthy food anymore. Under such circumstances, it is never exaggerated that food today is notof identical quality as before.

In a nutshell, taking the severe consequences of environment problem and unavoidable human behavior, it is of great difficulty to assure food standard. Thus, I feel greatly sorry to arrive at the conclusion that food in past was superior to present.

作者: DanielleZ 时间: 2012-7-5 00:38
7.4 独立~
Sang MM（没叫错吧，看头像是个mm呢~）
文章里面有很多不错的词组，句子。我学习了不少呢。
文章结构，我觉得有两段的结论得出感觉有点欠缺，我已经标明了。
还有such的句式，用的比较多，建议可以换其他的表达方式试试。
还有个问题是，有的句子太长了，写了从句就忘记了主句。所以有点错误呢~我也已经标在文章中啦~如果我有什么考虑不周全的地方，你告诉，我们再讨论一下哈~
加油啦~
Such a great concern that people nowadays are eating less healthyfood than they did in past(这句话结构不对，建议加上半句has been widely discussedby the increasing number of people之类的补全啦). With theconstantly development of technology, enormous change(changes) happened to thefood we eat today at the same time. Faced with such a serious issue(我觉得这个结论说的不充分呢，因为前面只是food说有变化，也没说是好是坏，然后得出这个结论感觉挺突然的), from my perspective,I have to admit that the food quality in present is inferior to it before.

The first and major reason contributes to such(已经有3个such了哦~) change is that more and more people are pursuing hugeprofits at the sacrifice of their morality. In order to obtain quantities ofreturn and keep their products fresh as long as possible, they add chemicaladditives into food to make them tasty and full of nutrition(这个理由感觉跟fresh关联不是很紧密). Consequently,side effects far exceedthe benefits as their expectation. For instance, the tragedy of baby milk hasexerted deep impression on public. Thousands of babies suffered from the serious negative influenceowing to the chemical additives put in the milk, even a few of them lost theiryoung life without gaining an opportunity to experience this colorful world.Condemned were those cruel milk producers, it is also undeniable that thesecurity of food has become more and more obscure.

Furthermore, the process of environment deteoriation(deterioration) also cast somenegative impact on the foodqualities. The conditions where organism grows today are notas appropriate asthey used to. For example, the soil standard and air condition has been largelyaffected by global warming; they are unable to furnish plants with sufficient nutrition andmoisture. Unfortunetly(unfortunately), such(又是such这个句式哦~) consequence has achain effect. (我觉得这还少句话，没有交代清楚。跟第一段差不多，少了nutrition和moisture为什么就会有很多toxin呢？)Toxin accumulated as food goes forward to a higher level infood cycle, and human beings, who occupy the top of the cycle, are subjected todamage to the fullest.

Despite the fact that thanks to process ofglobalization and expansion of technology, people grasp the change to enjoy allkinds of food, whether local one or that imported from foreign countries.(despite只连接了前半句，后半句不见了。是不是写的好长一句话，就把despite这个词忘记了啊？) Eating food of various locations and cooking methods is obviouslyan exciting experience. However, it is not news(new)that an increasing number of people arereported to suffer from food poisoning and physical disorder. With multiplechoices of food types, we can hardly find out 100 percent healthy food anymore.Under such circumstances, it is never exaggerated that food today is not ofidentical quality as before.(这段的主题不明确啊，从段首第一句话看应该是食物丰富了，但为什么后面又在说食品不安全了呢？)

In a nutshell, taking the severe consequences ofenvironment problems and unavoidable human behaviors, it is of greatdifficulty to assure food standard. Thus, I feel greatly sorry to arrive at theconclusion that food in past was superior to present.

作者: DanielleZ 时间: 2012-7-5 00:39
对了，我的作文，明天交。。。现在先睡觉了。。。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-5 09:41

7.4 独立~
Sang MM（没叫错吧，看头像是个mm呢~）
文章里面有很多不错的词组，句子。我学习了不少呢。
文章结构，我觉得有两段的结论得出感觉有点欠缺，我已经标明了。
还有such的句式，用的比较多，建议可以换其他的表达方式试试。
还有个问题是，有的句子太长了，写了从句就忘记了主句。所以有点错误呢~我也已经标在文章中啦~如果我有什么考虑不周全的地方，你告诉，我们再讨论一下哈~
加油啦~
Such a great concern that people nowadays are eating less healthyfood than they did in past(这句话结构不对，建议加上半句has been widely discussedby the increasing number of people之类的补全啦). With theconstantly development of technology, enormous change(changes) happened to thefood we eat today at the same time. Faced with such a serious issue(我觉得这个结论说的不充分呢，因为前面只是food说有变化，也没说是好是坏，然后得出这个结论感觉挺突然的), from my perspective,I have to admit that the food quality in present is inferior to it before.

The first and major reason contributes to such(已经有3个such了哦~) change is that more and more people are pursuing hugeprofits at the sacrifice of their morality. In order to obtain quantities ofreturn and keep their products fresh as long as possible, they add chemicaladditives into food to make them tasty and full of nutrition(这个理由感觉跟fresh关联不是很紧密). Consequently,side effects far exceedthe benefits as their expectation. For instance, the tragedy of baby milk hasexerted deep impression on public. Thousands of babies suffered from the serious negative influenceowing to the chemical additives put in the milk, even a few of them lost theiryoung life without gaining an opportunity to experience this colorful world.Condemned were those cruel milk producers, it is also undeniable that thesecurity of food has become more and more obscure.

Furthermore, the process of environment deteoriation(deterioration) also cast somenegative impact on the foodqualities. The conditions where organism grows today are notas appropriate asthey used to. For example, the soil standard and air condition has been largelyaffected by global warming; they are unable to furnish plants with sufficient nutrition andmoisture. Unfortunetly(unfortunately), such(又是such这个句式哦~) consequence has achain effect. (我觉得这还少句话，没有交代清楚。跟第一段差不多，少了nutrition和moisture为什么就会有很多toxin呢？)Toxin accumulated as food goes forward to a higher level infood cycle, and human beings, who occupy the top of the cycle, are subjected todamage to the fullest.

Despite the fact that thanks to process ofglobalization and expansion of technology, people grasp the change to enjoy allkinds of food, whether local one or that imported from foreign countries.(despite只连接了前半句，后半句不见了。是不是写的好长一句话，就把despite这个词忘记了啊？) Eating food of various locations and cooking methods is obviouslyan exciting experience. However, it is not news(new)that an increasing number of people arereported to suffer from food poisoning and physical disorder. With multiplechoices of food types, we can hardly find out 100 percent healthy food anymore.Under such circumstances, it is never exaggerated that food today is not ofidentical quality as before.(这段的主题不明确啊，从段首第一句话看应该是食物丰富了，但为什么后面又在说食品不安全了呢？)

In a nutshell, taking the severe consequences ofenvironment problems and unavoidable human behaviors, it is of greatdifficulty to assure food standard. Thus, I feel greatly sorry to arrive at theconclusion that food in past was superior to present.

-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/7/5 0:38:34)

谢谢Danielle的意见，都很好，这次主要注意用词去了，结构逻辑竟然出了那么大漏洞。。捂脸。。
不过第四段我是想写让步啦，虽然食物丰富，但随之而来的是更大的担忧..
一起加油！～

作者: DanielleZ 时间: 2012-7-5 19:22

-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/7/5 0:38:34)

-- by 会员 sang824 (2012/7/5 9:41:30)

嗯，嗯~话说我的独立还木有写好捏~我马上去写。。。

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-6 19:45
7月6日Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

The speed at which technology is developing has increased at a phenomenal rate, and it is undeniably that people has benefited a lot as a result of this tendency. When faced with the issue that people are now easier to become educated than in the past, from my perspective, I am strongly in favor of such statement for the following reasons.

Initially, with the constantly changing of technology, multitudes of educational institutes come into people’s vogue. People can find ways to obtain knowledge almost without effort, and they cannot be more hesitating when choosing among various of educational organizations. For instance, majority of my classmates take part into classes after every semester, where they can learn something to their appetites, such as piano, chess, swimming, or gain obtain knowledge in school subjects, like Olympic math and intensive training classes. Obviously, thanks to the assistance of all sorts of institute, it is never exaggerated to assert that people are easier to become educated than before.

Moreover, the improvement of our living standard also makes education possible. Unlike the situation in past, only wealthy people were able to afford the tuition fee of school. The requirement for education has already occupied the basic demand of each family. Take my friend as example, she was sent to America for college three years ago. Expensive the cost is, her parents still insist that studying abroad is an eye-open experience and it will endow her with more opportunity to be well cultivated. Obviously, the significance of education has deeply rooted in every parent’s heart, and it is no wonder that they are willing to send their children to school at any expense.

Despite the fact that the imbalance of living standard cannot let everyone achieve the dream to attend school, it is of little evidence to claim that such trend will still continue. As technology is expanding at an ever-increasing rate, more and more charities and government supported will be called on to satisfy everyone’s need and thus speed up the process of education.

In a nut shell, owing to the current craze that people will spare no effort to create best chance for their children to be educated, I can safely arrive at the conclusion that people nowadays are more likely to be educated than before.

作者: remint 时间: 2012-7-7 18:25
The speed at whichtechnology is developing has increased at a phenomenal rate（The technology developmentspeed is increasing at a phenomenal rate）, and it is undeniably that people has benefited a lot as aresult of this tendency. When faced with the issue that people are now easierto become educated than in the past, from my perspective, I am strongly infavor of such statement for the following reasons.

Initially, with the constantly changing oftechnology, multitudes ofeducational institutes come into people’s vogue. People can find ways to obtainknowledge almost without effort, and they cannot be more hesitating whenchoosing among various of （删除） educational organizations.For instance, majority of my classmates take part into classes after everysemester, where they can learn something to their appetites, such as piano,chess, swimming, or gaining （obtain删除） knowledge in（of、about） school subjects, like （貌似gmat语法里有说like举例一般放在句首不确定啊、、、可以替换为 say） Olympic math and intensivetraining classes. Obviously, thanks to the assistance of all sorts ofinstitute, it is never exaggerated to assert that people are easier to becomeeducated than before.
第一句，科技变化，可以说比如经济发展了，条件改善了，所以教育机构变流行了。。。貌似少一点直接的逻辑

Moreover, the improvement of our livingstandard also makes education possible. Unlike the situation in past, onlywealthy people were able to afford the tuition fee of school（逗号后面主语应该是和unlike后面形成对比，你的意思应该是个解释过去的现象吧~可以换种说法）. The requirement for education has already occupied the basic demandof each family. Take my friend as an example, she was sent to America
for college three yearsago. Expensive the cost is,her parents still insist that studying abroad is an eye-open （英语里有这个用法么。。。偶不确定、、、）experience and it will endow her with more opportunity tobe well cultivated. （This case is not rare in daily life）Obviously, for the significance ofeducation has deeply rooted in every parent’s heart, and it is no wonder thatthey are willing to send their children to school at any expense.

Despite the fact that the imbalance of livingstandard cannot let everyone achieve（fulfill）the dream to attend school, it is of little evidence to claim that such trendwill still continue. As technology is expanding at an ever-increasing rate,more and more charities and government supported（supports）will be called on to satisfy everyone’s needand thus speed up the process of education.

In anut shell, owing to the current crazethat people will spare no effort to create best chance for their children to beeducated, I can safelyarrive at the conclusion that people nowadays are more likely to beeducated than before.加油亲！偶们一起进步~

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-10 20:51
7,10 Do you agree with the following statement that patience is usually not a good strategy, we should take action now rather than later.

So fierce the competition is that we have to come up with ideas and take action in order to get the best chance. When it comes to the issue whether to take action as soon as possible or wait for suitable time, from my perspective, I definitely hold the viewpoint that taking action is a better choice in most cases.

Initially, as the saying goes,"Time is money." That is to say, efficiency is one of the most important aspects when considering the general performance. People have positive impression on companies that are capable of finishing and publishing their new products ahead of their competitors. Such strategy is especially useful in business world. For instance, to meet the constantly changing of technology, a cell-phone company soon publishes its newly, well-design phone, which is furnished with the newest operation system and sold at a high price. As a result, this product enjoys great popularity because customers are desperate to try the fashionable system and consider high price as perfect quality. Although it has weaknesses compared to other phones published later, it succeed in attracting customers by fitting their timely needs. Under such circumstance, it is never too exaggerated to assert the vast importance of time and opportunity.

Furthermore, patience fails to serve as a well-fuction strategy when dealing with serious problems, such as environment pollution or animal extinction. Only by acting at the first time can we prevent conditions and creatures being damaged. For instance, people did not care about deforestation because forests have covered more than half of the earth's surface at the very beginning. Consequently, forest disappeared at a phenomenal rate. Amounts of animals lost their homeland, temperature continued to rise as enormous carbon dioxide cannot be absorbed and plants found difficulty to grow for the lack of suitable soil and environment. However, such tradegy tragedy would not happen if people dedicated to protect environment earlier.

Admittedly, most people prefer to wait for the best opportunity after taking various factors into account. They are afraid of risky losing money or suffering from uncertainty. However, people are unable to hold chances back if missed them, not to mention numerous actions can be taken to deal with unpredictable situation. At that note, I strongly insist to take action as early as possible.

In a nutshell, to make the best use of time and chance, as well as to avoid making situation worse, I can come to the conclusion that taking action ahead of time is a superior strategy without hesitation.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-10 20:56
7,10 综合 TPO1

The issue at hand is about the option to work a four-day workweek. The professor casts all the three statement in the reading to convince us that such policy will not benefit economy and individual companies as the reading claims.

To start with, the reading argues that the shortened workweek would enhance company profits. In contradiction, the professor refutes by pointing out that the enrollment of new employees will increase the money spend on training, medical insurance. Moreover, the cost for new office spaces and computers can also cut off the whole profits.

Furthermore, the viewpoint about reducing unemployment rate in the reading cannot satisfy the professor, either. She claims that the company may ask its current employees to work overtime to make up the tasks, and that it will raise expectation if a worker can finish five-day work within four days. Under such circumstance, no additional work is necessary.

Finally, although the lecturer admits the benefit to each individual, she also mentions concerns such as decrease of quality, job ability and even advance opportunity. According to the lecture, people who work four days a week are most likely to lose job especially during the economic downturn, and the promotion advantage often goes to employee who work five days a week.

作者: lcaecar 时间: 2012-7-12 17:40
So fierce the competition is that we have to come up with ideas and take action in order to get the best chance. When it comes to the issue whether to take action as soon as possible or wait for suitable time, from my perspective, I definitely hold the viewpoint that taking action is a better choice in most cases.观点鲜明

Initially, as the saying goes,"Time is money." That is to say, efficiency is one of the most important aspects when considering the general performance. People have positive impression on companies that are capable of finishing and publishing their new products ahead of their competitors. Such strategy is especially useful in business world. For instance, to meet the constantly changing of technology, a cell-phone company soon publishes its newly, well-design(well-designed) phone, which is furnished with the newest operation system and sold at a high price. As a result, this product enjoys great popularity because customers are desperate to try the fashionable system and consider high price as perfect quality. Although it has weaknesses compared to other phones published later, it succeed(s) in attracting customers by fitting their timely needs.建议LZ的例子再具体一些 Under such circumstance, it is never too exaggerated to assert the vast importance of time and opportunity.

Furthermore, patience fails to serve as a well-fuction strategy when dealing with serious problems, such as environment pollution or animal extinction. Only by acting at the first time can we prevent conditions and creatures being damaged. For instance, people did not care about deforestation because forests have covered more than half of the earth's surface at the very beginning. Consequently, forest disappeared at a phenomenal rate. Amounts of animals lost their homeland, temperature continued to rise as enormous carbon dioxide cannot be absorbed and plants found difficulty to grow for ~~the lack of suitable~~(unsuitable) soil and environment. However, such ~~tradegy~~ tragedy would not happen if people (had) dedicated to 对过去事实的虚拟从句用过去完成时 protect environment earlier.

Admittedly, most people prefer to wait for the best opportunity after taking various factors into account. They are afraid of risky losing money or suffering from uncertainty. However, people are unable to hold(take) chances back if missed them, not to mention numerous actions can be taken to deal with unpredictable situation. At that note, I strongly insist to take action as early as possible.

In a nutshell, to make the best use of time and chance(s), as well as to avoid making situation worse, I can come to the conclusion that taking action ahead of time is a superior strategy without hesitation.

sang童鞋的作文一贯很优秀，我是鸡蛋里挑骨头了
行文很流畅，表达丰富
但是还是有一些语法上的瑕疵要加强哦
ps:刚进入小分队不懂规矩忘记改，实在是抱歉+抱歉

作者: lcaecar 时间: 2012-7-12 18:18
The issue at hand is about the option to work a four-day workweek. The professor casts all the three statement in the reading to convince us that such policy will not benefit economy and individual companies as the reading claims.

To start with, the reading argues that the shortened workweek would enhance company profits. In contradiction, the professor refutes by pointing out that the enrollment of new employees will increase the money spend on training,and medical insurance. Moreover, the cost for new office spaces and computers can also cut off(into)这里要注意啊..听力说的是cut into,cut off 是完全切掉的意思，意思完全不对了..千万小心the whole profits.

Furthermore, the viewpoint about reducing unemployment rate in the reading cannot satisfy the professor, either. She claims that the company may ask its current employees to work overtime to make up the tasks, and that it will raise expectation to those employees if a worker can finish five-day work within four days. Under such circumstance, no additional work is necessary.

Finally, although the lecturer admits the benefit to each individual, she also mentions concerns such as decrease of quality, job ability and even advance opportunity. According to the lecture, people who work four days a week are most likely to lose job especially during the economic downturn, and the promotion advantage often goes to employee who work five days a week.

各个要点都覆盖到了，但逻辑上有点点小瑕疵
cut off whole profits要注意..要么就说cut off some profits

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-12 19:56
谢谢lcaecar~一起加油！

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-12 20:00
7，,12独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that colleges or universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Such profound influence university exerts on us that almost every people attend college for different reasons. It is undeniably that university serves people in various ways. One of the major roles, from my perspective, is definitely to offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Initially, majority of people consider university a quick path and platform for future career. They attend college at the mere wish to gain as much knowledge as possible, thus better preparing for future career. For instance, for history major students, university is supposed to provide them with all kinds of subjects. Learning basic physics can they better understand the certain structure and function of an important invention, and getting known of literature are they able to have a deeper view of poetry's life. And for science major students, a series of research course are imperative for them to accumulate experience, becoming proficient and skillful in their fields. Under such circumstance, it is never too exaggerated to assert that enormous classes are of vast importance.

Moreover, students with dual-degree seem to enjoy greater popularity when searching jobs, and that is why many universities have offered students opportunities to take an addictive degree, namely, more courses in another area. Take my friend Amy as example, she spend her weekend time studying finance as minor during college years. After graduate, she effortlessly found a job owing to her comprehensive ability and abundant knowledge. Not only did she have fun learning new subjects, it also assisted her in the way of future career. At that note, we cannot emphasize too much on the impact knowledge has.

Admittedly, a group of people may worry about the pressure students burden from numerous courses and the decrease of study efficiency. However, as far as I am concerned, college students are capable of making an appropriate schedule for themselves. More importantly, the time spend on study is more valuable and meaningful than that wasted on countless computer games and social activities.

In a nutshell, in view of the significant part knowledge plays in the way of preparing for future career, I can safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for university to offer students more courses .

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-7-12 20:02
TPO3 综合

The issue at hand is whether a paining attributed to Rembrandt. The professor uses three reasons to convince us the work belongs to Rembrandt, totally contradicting to the statements in the reading.

To start with, according to the reading, the way women dressed was inconsistent with Rembrandt’s style. However, the lecturer pointed out that the fur collar was not part of original painting, In order to increase the value, people added the fur collar over the top of original piece after 100 years it finished.

Furthermore, the claim in the reading that the light and shadow do not fit together cannot satisfy the professor, either. She refuted by stating that after removed the addictive part, people can easily see a light color glove, which reflected the light and illuminated the face. At that note, the light was realistic and suited Rembrandt’s way.

Finally, in order to rebut the reading that Rembrandt’s work was unlikely to make on a panel glued wood as this one, the professor indicated that the wood panel enlarged after addictive part attached to it. More evidence showed that both pieces of the wood panel of such work and another of her painting come from the same tree.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-13 16:21

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The issue at hand is whether a paining attributed to Rembrandt. The professor uses three reasons to convince us the work belongs to Rembrandt, totally contradicting to the statements in the reading.

To start with, according to the reading, the way women dressed was inconsistent with Rembrandt’s style. However, the lecturer pointed out that the fur collar was not part of original painting, In order to increase the value, people added the fur collar over the top of original piece after 100 years it finished.

Furthermore, the claim in the reading that the light and shadow do not fit together cannot satisfy the professor, either. She refuted by stating that after removed the addictive part, people can easily see（是用过去时和前句一致么？） a light color glove, which reflected the light and illuminated the face. At that note, the light was realistic and suited Rembrandt’s way.

Finally, in order to rebut the reading that Rembrandt’s work was unlikely to make on a panel glued wood as this one, the professor indicated that the wood panel enlarged after addictive part attached to it. More evidence showed that both pieces of the wood panel of such work and another of her painting come from the same tree.

不错不错，用词简洁自然。呵呵

作者: daisyの小夢想 时间: 2012-7-15 09:57
7.12

Such profoundinfluence university exerts on us that almost every people attend college fordifferent reasons. It is undeniably that university serves people in variousways. One of the major roles, from my perspective, is definitely to offer morecourses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Initially, majority of people consider universitya quick path and platform for future career. They attend college at the merewish to gain as much knowledge as possible, thus better preparing for futurecareer. For instance, for history major students, university is supposed toprovide them with all kinds of subjects. Learning basic physics can they better understand thecertain structure and function of an important invention, and getting known ofliterature are they able to have a deeper view of poetry's life. (倒装好像有点奇怪。Basic physics courses can better their masteryof certain structure and function of an important invention, and literaturecourses can cultivate their deep view of poetry’s life.) And for science major students, a series ofresearch course are imperative(好词) for them to accumulate experience, becoming proficient and skillful in their fields(becoming就没有修饰对象了，语法不对，改为to accumulate experience and thus becomeproficient and skillful in their fields). Under such circumstance, it is never too exaggerated to assert thatenormous classes are of vast importance.

Moreover, students with dual-degree seem to enjoygreater popularity when searching jobs, and that is why many universities haveoffered students opportunities to take an addictive degree, namely, morecourses in another area. Take my friend Amy as example, she spend her weekendtime studying finance as minor during college years. After graduate, sheeffortlessly found a job owing to her comprehensive ability and abundantknowledge. Not only did she have fun learning new subjects, it alsoassisted her in the way of future career. (这里的it指代不清) At that note, we cannot emphasize too much on the impactknowledge has.

Admittedly, a group of people may worry about thepressure students burden from numerous courses and the decrease of study efficiency(learning efficiency). However, as far as I am concerned, collegestudents are capable of making an appropriate schedule for themselves. Moreimportantly, the time spend on study is more valuable and meaningful than thatwasted on countless computer games and social activities.

In a nutshell, in view of the significant partknowledge plays in the way of preparing for future career, I can safely drawthe conclusion that it is necessary for university to offer students morecourses.

不好意思这两天纠结，改晚了。
sang写得很好啊~语言丰富，例子生动~加油！

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-9-15 20:45
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

Professors are considered well-respected people who educate students and contribute to the development of our society. When it comes to the issue about major responsibility of professor, a group of people would admit that they are supposed to devote themselves into scientific research, thus promoting our living standard. From my perspective, however, I still agree that the main role of professor is educating students.

First and foremost, university plays an indispensable part in everyone’s life. People spare no effort to attend university at the mere wish to obtain as much knowledge as possible. It is professor who acts as an illustrator to meet students’ need. I still remember my first German teacher, a renowned professor in our department, at college. She has a perfect command of German and unique way of education, and she was willing to spend most time with us, answering our questions, telling us interesting cultural stories as well as discussing with us. So enjoyable we were in her class that I made enormous progress in that year and developed great passion about that subject. At that note, it is never too exaggerated to assert that professor plays an important role in educating students.

Furthermore, compared with material and other learning techniques, professors are unique resource because of their accumulative experience. They can either share their personal experience, or provide students with suggestion based on examples of their previous students. For instance, I attended a management course during my junior year, the course was taught by a professor who just returned from overseas. She often shared her experience at a different region and gave us lessons from genuine situation. Moreover, she always told us successful stories of our schoolmates and offered us advice about career path. All she taught us were something that we cannot learn from dissertations or textbook. Under such circumstances, it goes without saying that professor plays a dominant role in students’ development.

Admittedly, research is part of professors’ work. They need to takeover projects not only to maintain their reputation, but also lead to general improvement of the society. Nevertheless, I still insist that research is of less importance than educating students. Scientists and researchers can share the responsibility of conducting research with professors, while no one is able to cultivate students on behalf of them.

In a nutshell, in view of professors’ significance of bringing knowledge to students as well as leading them to an appropriate way, I just come to the conclusion that the main role of university professor is to educate students rather than conduct research.

作者: xeyyxzty 时间: 2012-9-16 21:57
抱歉来完了~写的很好哟

学习之~~~
Professorsare considered well-respected people who educate students and contribute to thedevelopment of our society. When it comes to the issue about the （有必要加这个吧）major responsibility of professor, a group of people wouldadmit that they are supposed to devote themselves into scientific research,thus promoting our living standard. From my perspective, however, I still agreethat the main role of professor is educating students.

First and foremost, university plays anindispensable part in everyone’s life. People spare no effort to attenduniversity at the mere wish to obtain as much knowledge as possible. It isprofessor who acts as an illustrator to meet students’ need. I still remembermy first German teacher, a renowned professor in our department, at college.She has a perfect command of German and unique way of education, and she waswilling to spend most time with us, answering our questions, telling usinteresting cultural stories as well as discussing with us. So enjoyable wewere in her class that I made enormous progress in that year and developedgreat passion about that subject. At that note, it is never too exaggerated toassert that professor plays an important role in educating students.例子真棒~~~

Furthermore, compared with material and otherlearning techniques, professors are unique resource because of theiraccumulative experience. They can either share their personal experience, orprovide students ~~with~~ suggestion based on examples of their previous students. For instance, Iattended a management course during my junior year（偷偷问一下，这是第几年？三or一？）, thecourse was taught by a professor who had just returned from overseas. She often shared herexperience at a different region and gave us lessons from genuine situation.Moreover, she always told us successful stories of our schoolmates (alumnus如何？) and offered usadvice about career path. All she taught us wereàwas somethingthat we cannot learn from dissertations or textbook. Under such circumstances,it goes without saying that professor plays a dominant role in students’development.

Admittedly, research is part of professors’ work.They need to takeover projects not only to maintain their reputation, but alsolead to general improvement of the society. Nevertheless, I still insist thatresearch is of less importance than educating students. Scientists andresearchers can share the responsibility of conducting research withprofessors, while no one is able to cultivate students on behalf of them.

In a nutshell, in view of professors’ significanceof bringing knowledge to students as well as leading them to an appropriateway, I just come to the conclusion that the main role of university professoris to educate students rather than conduct research.

我水平不高~真心看不出大问题~
满满的赞美

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-9-18 15:31
TPO22

The issue at hand is whether ethanol is a good replacement of gasoline. The reading uses three reasons to convince us that ethanol is not a better choice over gasoline, but the professor points out that all the reasons are skeptical.

To start with, according to the reading, the use of ethanol fuel would account for global warming because it releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. According to the professor, even he admits the release of carbon dioxide, he also claims that ethanol is made of corn and those released carbon dioxide can be absorbed by corn. At that note, the plants can conterpart the carbon dioxide produced during burning process, so the first reason is questionable.

Furthermore, the statement in the reading that production of ethanol would reduce amounts of plants available for uses other than fuel cannot satisfy the professor, either. He mentions that ethanol is also produced by a component of cell wall, which is not eaten by animals.

Finally, the third reason mentions in the reading is that ethanol fuel will never be able to compete with gasline on price. In order to refute the reading, the professor indicates that if more ethanol is needed, its production would increase, resulting in drop of ethanol price. That is, if the production of ethanol is three times as it is now, the price would decrease by 40%. Accordingly, although the government subsidies are true, the price of ethanol is still likely to decline.

作者: sang824 时间: 2012-9-18 17:14
3, A/D. Although science and technologywill continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality ofpeople’s lives have already taken place.
Currently,technology is expanding at an ever-increasing rate, and it is undoubtedly thatthe advanced technology has largely improved our living standard. Among those exciting improvement areinvention of computer, cellphone and space exploration, etc. Therefore,quantities of people agree that the most significant improvement for thequality of people’s lives have already taken place. However, from myperspective, I just doubt that the former view cannot bear much analysis.

Initially,with the constantly changing technology, both medical equipment and therapymethods have come to a high level. Diseases, such as pneumonia and small pox,that cannot be cured in past, are able to be overcame with the newest medicaltechnology. Nevertheless, there are still myriad of people suffer from cancerand leukaemia, and doctors can do nothing to deal with those sickness butwitness those serious illness deprive their lives. So cruel and heart-breakingthis situation is and new treatment must have to be come out in order to savepeople’s lives. At that note, it is too harsh to arrive at the conclusion thatthe most important improvement for the quality of people’s lives has alreadytaken place.

Furthermore,even though the advancement of technology has provided people with betterliving environment, like modern house, peaceful neighborhood as harmoniousatmosphere, the influence of natural resource is still a great concern formajorities of people. I still remember the earthquake in Wenchuan 4 years ago.Those buildings were too weak to withhold the strong power of wave and crasheddown almost with minutes, resulting in hundreds of thousands people’s death.The poor condition of transportation also decreased the efficiency of savingprocess. Considering this, scientists are supposed to develop useful method topredict natural disaster, thus offering people sufficient time to move to safeplaces. Moreover, measures should also be taken to improve the structure ofbuilding as well as transportation construction.

Admittedly,the speed at which technology is developing has increased at a phenomenal rate.People enjoy the advantages in various of aspects: the globalization, which isprone to shrink the world and bring people closer, modernization as well asurbanization. In spite of this, I still cannot assert that the most vitalimprovement has already occurred. In view of problems that come with theadvanced technology, amounts of endeavors are required to come up witheffective solutions, and it is difficult to judge which one is of greatestsignificance.
Ina nutshell, taking the potential of human wisdom and necessity to resolve theproblems exist nowadays, on no account can we jump to the conclusion that themost important improvement for the quality of people’s lives has already takenplace.

作者: d0gzi 时间: 2012-9-19 21:02
TPO22

The issue at hand is whether ethanol is a good replacement of gasoline. The reading uses three reasons to convince us that ethanol is not a better choice over gasoline, but the professor points out that all the reasons are skeptical.

To start with, according to the reading, the use of ethanol fuel would account for global warming because it releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. According to the professor, even he admits the release of carbon dioxide, he also claims that ethanol is made of corn and those released carbon dioxide can be absorbed by corn（我感觉是因为在植物在生长过程中吸收的CARBON DIOXIDE，而不仅仅是RELESED CARBON DIOXIDE.也就是吸收在前，释放在后）. At that note, the plants can conterpart the carbon dioxide produced during burning process, so the first reason is questionable.

Furthermore, the statement in the reading that production of ethanol would reduce amounts of plants available for uses other than fuel（看不懂这里的OHTER THAN FUEL是啥意思……可能是我水平低也……） cannot satisfy the professor, either. He mentions that ethanol is also produced by a component of cell wall, which is not eaten by animals.这一点你听懂的好棒……= = 我其实是因为这点完全没听懂。。然后看的原文才补充的啦……汗一个……

Finally, the third reason mentions in the reading is that ethanol fuel will never be able to compete with gasline on price. In order to refute the reading, the professor indicates that if more ethanol is needed, its production would increase, resulting in drop of ethanol price. That is, if the production of ethanol is three times as it is now, the price would decrease by 40%. Accordingly, although the government subsidies are true, the price of ethanol is still likely to decline. （个人感觉最后一句的逻辑应该是，即使政府不补贴了，乙醇汽油价格依然会下降。而不是：虽然政府补贴是真，乙醇汽油价格依然会下降。。不过我有点鸡蛋挑骨头了哈哈）

总体感觉挺好的。要点很全。感谢你的批改~~~一起加油！！> <!!!

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