作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-5-24 16:50
标题: 2012-05-24
2012-05-24
Spendingmoney on traveling is better than saving money for future use.
As the result of the cumulative effect of so many years ofrecession and slow growth, we've seen a lot of people lose their jobs and homesand become tough to support their daily life. Though things are different andeconomics are beginning to revive and prosper again, the financial crisis which broke in theUnited States in 2008 has made a deep impression on most people and forcedpeople to introspect their habits of money management. Some people insist
that investment onvacations would be a better choice than saving money for future use, for it isa good form of rest and relaxation. However, from my perspective, after rationalanalysis, it is better for people to save sufficient amounts of money forfuture use.
Admittedly, spending money on traveling is a nice choice forsome people, especially those who have amounts of stress, for it is a good formto handle with stress. Take managers forexample, who are liable to work overload or suffer too much criticism fromtheir workers, if they spare some time, go to their favorite places and take alittle pastime, such as a beach to walkon, a stream to fish in, or a game to play with friends, the feelings of stresswould be easily relieved.
However, when compared with saving money for future use,spending money on vacations is less valuable.
First and foremost, we should save enough money in case forfuture emergencies and accidents. As we all know, no one can predict what willtake place tomorrow, let alone the future. What if we suffered anotherfinancial crisis, just like the financial crisis that broke out in UnitedStates in 2008? What if one of ourfamily members caught up with a heart disease and needed an operation? If it was the case, it would be tough for usto deal with all these scenarios. However, if we had saved enough money, thingswould be different. we can have the capability to support the whole family andalleviate their physiological strains/mental stress.
Moreover, travelingmight not be the most important and desirable for some people, and they havesomething else that is worthwhile to speed money on in their future, such asdreams. For instance, I 've been dreaming to open my own cafeteria in 5 years.In order to realize my dream, i have been working hard to save money for thefund for a cafeteria, and then speeding money on traveling seems luxurious forme. In my opinion, it is worthwhile to sacrifice some instant happiness on theway to realize my dream.
Furthermore, saving money for future use can also ensureus good living conditions afterretirement. If we spend money as soon as we’ve earned it, then it can be reallytroublesome after we retire. When we were retired, we would nearly have noincome, and then without enough money saved, we can just have a very tightbudget and even live under the aid of social security.
In a nutshell, though traveling is worthwhile, I cannotclaim that spending money on vacations is better than saving money for futureuse. Considering the unpredictable future, I think it is wise to save enoughmoney in case for future need. At the same time, something, such as a dream,might be more valuable for us to save money to invest on in the future.
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-5-25 16:29
5.24 独立改文~
2012-05-24
Spendingmoney on traveling is better than saving money for future use.
第一次给acrophobiahy改文~挑错来了
红色错误，蓝色疑问，黄色高亮
As the result of the cumulative effect of so many years ofrecession and slow growth, we've seen a lot of people lose their jobs and homesand(？) become tough to support their daily life. Though things are different andeconomics are(is)beginning to revive and prosper again, the financial crisis which broke(broke out)in theUnited States in 2008 has made a deep impression on most people and forcedpeople to introspect their habits of money management. Some people insistthat investment onvacations would be a better choice than saving money for future use, for it isa good form of rest and relaxation. However, from my perspective, after rational analysis, it is better for people to save sufficient amounts of money forfuture use.
Admittedly, spending money on traveling is a nice choice forsome people, especially those who have amounts of stress(are under heavy stress这么表达感觉好一点~), for it is a good formto handle with stress. Take managers forexample, who are liable to work overload or suffer too much criticism fromtheir workers（employees下属）, if they spare some time, (and)go to their favorite places and take alittle pastime, such as a beach to walkon, a stream to fish in, or a game to play with friends, the feelings of stresswould be easily relieved.
However, when compared with saving money for future use,spending money on vacations is less valuable.
First and foremost, we should save enough money in case for（of）future emergencies and accidents. As we all know, no one can predict what willtake place tomorrow, let alone the future. What if we suffered anotherfinancial crisis, just like the financial crisis that broke out in (the) UnitedStates in 2008? What if one of ourfamily members caught up with a heart(cardiac)disease and needed an operation? If it was the case, it would be tough for usto deal with all these scenarios. However, if we had saved enough money, thingswould be different. we can have the capability to support the whole family andalleviate their physiological strains/mental stress.
Moreover, travelingmight not be the most important and desirable for some people, and they havesomething else that is worthwhile to speed(spend) money on in their future, such asdreams. For instance, I 've(I have) been dreaming to open my own cafeteria in 5 years.In order to realize my dream, i(I) have been working hard to save money for thefund for a cafeteria, and then speeding(spending)money on traveling seems (a)luxurious forme(form). In my opinion, it is worthwhile to sacrifice some instant happiness on theway to realize my dream.
Furthermore, saving money for future use can also ensureus good living conditions afterretirement. If we spend money as soon as we’ve earned it, then it can be reallytroublesome after we retire. When we were retired, we would nearly have noincome, and then without enough money saved, we can just have a very tightbudget and even (have to) live under the aid of social security.
In a nutshell, though traveling is worthwhile(attractive/intriguing), I cannotclaim that spending money on vacations is better than saving money for futureuse. Considering the unpredictable future, I think it is wise to save enoughmoney in case for future need. At the same time, something, such as a dream,might be more valuable for us to save money to invest on(感觉不需要) in the future.
Conclusion:
Good, applauds~ ~ ~
1. There are so many words in your article, do pay attention of the management of time.
2. Good vocabulary
3. be careful with some firmed collocation
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-5-27 22:07
标题: 5月27日 2011.2.11 NA
5月27日 2011.2.11 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allowtheir children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
Itis our parents that teach us to walk, to speak and to recognize the world. Theyare the most committed, and almost the best teachers we have. It is under theprotection of their love that we began to learn how to face the society and howto interact with others. But it doesn’t mean that parents should make all thedecisions for us for the purpose of preventing us from injuries. On thecontrary, parents should allow us explore and experience the society on ourown. It is definitely true that we would make mistakes on the way, but we canalso learn a lot from the mistakes, and then we will become more rational andbrave.
Admittedly,as responsible parents, they should provide suggestions for children,especially when a child made an insane decision, which might be detrimental forhis or her future development. For example, a boy, who is not interested innumbers and formats, decides to choose mathematics as his major. Then at thistime, parents should have a conversation with him, and help him to recognizethe current conditions, and let him to make the decision again. In such case,it might be beneficial for children.
However,we should realize that no one can help us identify what is right and what iswrong all the time, including our parents. Though our parents might help usrecognize mistakes at the present, on day, we have to step the protection ofour parents and face the society on our own. In an increasingly competitive society,few people would like to sacrifice their energy and efforts to assist you likeyour parents do. If we want to make fewer mistakes in our work, parents shouldallow us to make the mistakes and let us learn from it. Because if we made amistake, we would reflect on why the mistake happened and how to avoid the sameone next time. Then, the mistakes may also offer us something useful in return,which is beneficial to our development of analytical thinking, though it mightcost us a little energy or time.
Moreover,being shielded by our parents, we will never grow up, and will lack the abilityto face the serious situations in the future. A national survey shows thatabout 30 percent of youngsters put back the age at which they expect to befinancially independent; most of those youngsters are the children who used tobe over protected by their parents. We should realize that mistakes are part oflife, and dealing with mistakes is part of the process of growing up.Coping with mistakes also enhance our ability to handle stress and despair, andeven help develop an optimist attitude to overcome the difficulties. In general,allowing children to make mistakes is helpful for their mental health.
In anutshell, though parents should protect children to some degree, they should allowus to experience the world on our own. The mistakes that we make will help usgrow up rapidly, and we will soon become brave enough to confront theunpredictable future in a positive way.
作者: lxc1989614 时间: 2012-5-28 14:42
Itis our parents that teach us to walk, to speak and to recognize the world. Theyare the most committed, and almost the best teachers we have.
还有单词之间别忘了打空格啊~
Admittedly,as responsible parents, they should provide suggestions for children,especially when a child made an insane decision, which might be detrimental forhis or her future development. For example, a boy, who is not interested innumbers and formats, decides to choose mathematics as his major. Then at thistime, parents should have a conversation with him, and help him to recognizethe current conditions, 你这句话有点问题啊~这个和孩子谈话不正是不让孩子自己犯错的体现么。。。and let him to make the decision again. In such case,it might be beneficial for children.
However,we should realize that no one can help us identify what is right and what iswrong all the time, including our parents. Though our parents might help usrecognize mistakes at the present, on day, we have to step the protection ofour parents and face the society on our own. In an increasingly competitive society,few people would like to sacrifice their energy and efforts to assist you likeyour parents do. If we want to make fewer mistakes in our work, parents shouldallow us to make the mistakes and let us learn from it. Because if we
Moreover,being shielded by our parents, we will never grow up
In anutshell, though parents should protect children to some degree, they should allowus to experience the world on our own. The mistakes that we make（have made) will help usgrow up rapidly, and we will soon become(so that we are) brave enough to confront theunpredictable future in a positive way.
1、文章太长了。。很多语言不够简练，从句套从句的。。可以再精简一下，不知你的文章是否是在规定时间内完成的。。。
2、单词与单词之间记得打空格啊~
3、建议多看一些比较地道的词组表达神马的
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-5-28 19:22
Conclusion:
Good, applauds~ ~ ~
1. There are so many words in your article, do pay attention of the management of time.
2. Good vocabulary
3. be careful with some firmed collocation
-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/5/25 16:29:49)
谢谢婷婷帮忙修改我的作文
刚刚又重新看了一遍，你的建议很受用的～～
不知道婷婷能不能帮忙看一下我２７号的独立作文呢？希望听听你的建议啊
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-5-28 22:35
Conclusion:
Good, applauds~ ~ ~
1. There are so many words in your article, do pay attention of the management of time.
2. Good vocabulary
3. be careful with some firmed collocation
-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/5/25 16:29:49)
谢谢婷婷帮忙修改我的作文
刚刚又重新看了一遍，你的建议很受用的～～
不知道婷婷能不能帮忙看一下我２７号的独立作文呢？希望听听你的建议啊
-- by 会员 acrophobiahy (2012/5/28 19:22:00)
呵呵，木有问题，这就给你改哦~
在lxc的基础上改的，这次用紫色了~
Itis our parents that teach us to walk, to speak and to recognize the world. Theyare the most committed, and almost the best teachers we have.
还有单词之间别忘了打空格啊~
Admittedly,as responsible parents, they should provide suggestions for children(provide children with suggestions用固定搭配好一些),especially when a child made an insane decision, which might be detrimental forhis or her future development. For example, a boy, who is not interested innumbers and formats, decides to choose mathematics as his major. Then at thistime（重复了）, parents should have a conversation with him, and help him to recognize(realize) the current conditions, 你这句话有点问题啊~这个和孩子谈话不正是不让孩子自己犯错的体现么。。。and let him to make the decision again. In such case,it might be beneficial for children.
However,we should realize that no one can help us identify what is right and what iswrong all the time, including our parents. Though our parents might help usrecognize mistakes at the present(at present), on day, we have to step（感觉少了一个介词） the protection ofour parents and face the society on our own. In an increasingly competitive society,few people would like to sacrifice their energy and efforts to assist you likeyour parents do. If we want to make fewer mistakes in our work, parents shouldallow us to make the mistakes and let us learn from it. Because if we
Moreover,being shielded by our parents, we will never grow up
In anutshell, though parents should protect children to some degree. they should allowus to experience the world on our own. The mistakes that we make（have made) will help usgrow up rapidly, and we will soon become(so that we are) brave enough to confront theunpredictable future in a positive way.
1、文章太长了。。很多语言不够简练，从句套从句的。。可以再精简一下，不知你的文章是否是在规定时间内完成的。。。
2、单词与单词之间记得打空格啊~
3、建议多看一些比较地道的词组表达神马的
Conclusion：1.还是先夸夸词汇，婷婷也记了很多，就是每次都感觉用不上
2.注意一些固定搭配，想provide... With
3.文章都在说理，建议加一个例子，显得更有说服力
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-5-28 22:51
[/quote]
呵呵，木有问题，这就给你改哦~
-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/5/28 22:35:35)
[/quote]婷婷真好～～
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-5-28 23:07
呵呵，木有问题，这就给你改哦~
-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/5/28 22:35:35)
[/quote]婷婷真好～～
-- by 会员 acrophobiahy (2012/5/28 22:51:02)
[/quote]
呵呵，完工~
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-6-1 21:11
标题: CDers, 六一儿童节快乐~~
6月1日091031 NA
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move toa new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends.
Friends are thoserare people who can understand all your troubles by just looking in your eyes;can soothe your fears with a simple hug; can make you laugh when all you wantto do is cry. So no one can deny significance of friends. Concerning the issue ofmoving to a new city or a new country, some people insist that it is not a goodthing due to the loss of friends. However, from my perspective, distance willnot set up a barrier between friends and cannot voilate the friendship.
Admittedly, moving toa new city or a new country might result in some inconvenience for friends. Ifwe are in the same place, we can get together frequently and have a fun time.For example, on weekends, we can go to a cafeteria nearby, just sit down, enjoythe peaceful atmosphere, and talk about latest Hollywood films. But moving to anew place may make it tougher. However, the long distance cannot break thefriendship.
First and foremost,with the rapid advance of science and technology, the problems resulted by thelong distance can be resolved. Thanks to the invention of the cell phone, wecan hear our friends' voices as if they are next to us. What's more, we can seethem merely with a computer connected to the Internet. In this case, we stillcan keep close contact with our friends though we are millions of thousandsmiles away. Furthermore, one some special holidays, it is convenient for us tofly back and have fun with our old friends, which might only cost a few hours.
Moreover, living in anew city or a new country might improve, but destroy the relation betweenfriends, for it offers more interesting topics for conversation. For example,one of my friends, Jessica moved abroad to California two year ago. Every timewe chat on line, we would find various topics, such as the native deliciousfood, the special customs there, and the cultural difference between the twocountries. As a result, the conversation will never be boring. Last summer, sheeven invited me to California, and the time I spent there became my preciousmemories. So, in my opinion, living in a new place can also enhance our friendship.
In a nutshell, thoughfriends play an important role in out life, we cannot be afraid of moving to anew city or a new country out of fare loss of old friends. We should believethat the distance is not a problem.
作者: teresaz318 时间: 2012-6-2 21:42
蓝色个人建议阿
红色明显错误
橙色 怀疑~
Friendsare those rare people who canunderstand all your troubles by just looking in your eyes; can soothe yourfears with a simple hug; can make you laugh when all you wantto do is cry. Sono one can deny significance of friends. (Theimportance of friends cannot be more exaggerated) Concerning the issueof moving to a new city or a new country, some people insist that it is not agood thing due to 后面只能加名词 the loss of friends. However, from myperspective, distance will not set up a barrier between friends and cannot violate 我觉得这词用错了，你应该是想说破坏友谊？ Destroy 好嘛？the friendship.
Admittedly, moving toa new city or a newcountry might result in some inconvenience for friends. Ifwe are in the sameplace, we can get together frequently and have a fun time.For example, onweekends, we can go to a cafeteria nearby, just sit down, enjoythe peacefulatmosphere, and talk about latest Hollywood films. But moving to anew place maymake it tougher这词用错这是坚强的意思 . difficult ..However,the long distance cannot break thefriendship.
First and foremost,with the rapid advance ofscience and technology, the problems resulted by thelong distance can be resolved solve. Thanks to (后面应该是一个完整的句子，而不是短语) the invention of the cell phone, wecan hearour friends' voices as if they are next to us. What's more, we can seethem merely just? with a computerconnected to the Internet. In this case, we stillcan (can still ?) keep close contact with our friends though we are millionsof thousandsmiles away. Furthermore, one some specialholidays, (on some special holidays?) it is convenient for us to fly back (take the airplane to visit our friends) 你这里没讲清楚，就说飞好奇怪，而且去别的国家不一定要飞啊，我觉得作文应该要解释的清楚点，不然考完看也会有种不明不白的感觉 and have fun with our old friends, which mightonly cost a few hours.
Moreover, living in anew city or a new countrymight improve, but (instead of?) destroy therelation betweenfriends, for it offers more interesting topics forconversation. For example,one of my friends, Jessica moved abroad to Californiatwo year ago. Every timewe chat on line, we would find various topics, such asthe native deliciousfood, the special customs there, and the culturaldifference between the twocountries. As a result, the conversation will neverbe boring. Last summer, sheeven invited me to California, and the time I spent there =.= 什么意思became my preciousmemories. So, in my opinion,living in a new place can also even enhance ourfriendship.
In a nutshell, thoughfriends play an importantrole in out life, we cannot be afraid of moving to anew city or a new country out of fare loss of old friends. We should believethatthe distance is not a problem.
LZ 注意一下用词啊，现在只是练习 不确定可不可以用的词最好可以查一下字典
以免考试的时候也是那样～
idea 还是ok 的但是就是有些句子过于简单化，而且有点偏中文的翻译的感觉
好啦～！加油 继续努力
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-6-7 09:58
6月6日110198 ML
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Food in the past was much healthier than today.
We are what we eat, as the proverb say. When we decide whichfoods to eat and how to prepare them, our choices do much more than please ourtaste buds - they also affect our health. Food and health is the topic ofendless discussion, which also brings about some controversy. Some people claimthat food in the past is much healthier than today, for both foodstuff itselfand the cooking methods are more natural. From my perspective, thanks to therapid advance of technology, and the government supervision on food safety,it's not surprising that the food today are much healthier.
The development of technology enables us to have incrediblevariety of food, which satisfies our increasing need of the different kinds ofnutrition. As we all know, some critical nutrition, such as protein, vitaminand calcium, are mostly acquired through balanced diets. However, due to thelack of food, people in the past may find it hard to meet their need of energyinput, let alone to have adequate nutrition. As a result, numerous peoplesuffered nutritional deficiency. Fortunately, advanced agronomic techniquesmake it possible for us to easily attain abundant food. At the same time, theconvenient transportation system has ensured the freshness. We can easily pickup vegetables, fruits and dairy products according to our need.
Furthermore, along with the increasing awareness of thesignificance of food health, the government has attached greater importance tothe issue. Government agencies has take the responsibilities for setting foodsafety standards, conducting inspections, ensuring the standards are met, andmaintaining a strong enforcement program to deal with those who do not complywith standards. For example, on January 4, 2011, the Food Safety ModernizationAct(FSMA) was signed into law by President Obama, which enables the Food andDrug Administration(FDA) to protect public health by strengthening the foodsafety system. It allows FDA to focus more on the preventing food safetyproblems, rather than reacting to the problems after they occur. Under thesevere protection of the government, it's not surprising that the food today ishealthier than in the past, when little attention was paid on food safety.
Last but not least, some new professions, such as dietitiansand nutritionists, have come up nowadays. They are experts in food andnutrition. They work in hospitals, cafeterias or schools, advising people onwhat to eat in order to lead a healthy life. With their help, people are ableto know how to select and prepare food in a scientific and healthy way. Moreover,universities also offer the courses in food and health and related training forthose who want to become a dietitian or nutritionist in the future.
Though the advantages of food now are considerable, weshould never deny that food in the past has some minor advantages. Food in thepast is more natural with little contamination. Comparatively, we eat junkfood, non-nutritional food sometimes. However, if we treat it properly andbuild healthy eating habits, the problems can be neglected.
In a nutshell, with the help of advanced technology and thesevere supervision of the government, there's no doubt that the food we havetoday is much healthier.
字数：532
时间：不计时
这篇作文耗时挺长的，我就不好意识说具体时间了。也查了很多信息，希望能够将文章写得丰满一点，也为之后的作文积累一点素材。
狠狠地批吧~~
发现错误，就是学习新知识的开始~~
作者: jiaosisisisi 时间: 2012-6-7 17:59
我是music，抱歉啊，我的作文貌似要晚些，今天晚上？ 发出来吧。。。
6.6的作业，由于我今天加班写paper，居然还没写，。。实在抱歉啊！！！
多谢你修改噢for me！
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-6-7 19:48
我是music，抱歉啊，我的作文貌似要晚些，今天晚上？ 发出来吧。。。
6.6的作业，由于我今天加班写paper，居然还没写，。。实在抱歉啊！！！
多谢你修改噢for me！
没事没事～～6.6的作业，由于我今天加班写paper，居然还没写，。。实在抱歉啊！！！
多谢你修改噢for me！
-- by 会员 jiaosisisisi (2012/6/7 17:59:16)
要加油哦
作者: h14zpsn 时间: 2012-6-7 23:04
白天没时间~~~现在马上改了哈~~
6月6日110198 ML
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Food in the past was much healthier than today.
We are what we eat, as the proverb say. When we decidewhich foods to eat and how to prepare them, our choices do much more thanplease our taste buds - they also affect our health.（这里的they感觉有点指代不明啊，如果再用一次food会不会更好些呢。） Food and healthis the （这里感觉应该用a，不应该特指啊）topic of endlessdiscussion, which also brings about some controversy. （这里会不会说Food andhealth is a controversial topic of endless discussion会更好些呢？）Some people claim thatfood in the past is much healthier than today, for both foodstuff itself andthe cooking methods are more natural. From my perspective, thanks to the rapidadvance of technology, and the government supervision on food safety, it's notsurprising that the food today are（food泛指的话是不可数名词） much healthier.（safer和healthier直接画等价可能有点唐突。作者可以再用一句来做连接啊）
The development of technology enables us to haveincredible variety of food, which satisfies our increasing need of thedifferent kinds of nutrition. As we all know, some critical nutrition, such asprotein, vitamin and calcium, are mostly acquired through balanced diets.However, due to the lack of food, people in the past may find it hard to meettheir need of energy input, let alone to have adequate nutrition.（这里的let alone to have adequatenutrition是不是一个fragment了呀~） As a result, numerous people sufferednutritional deficiency. Fortunately, advanced agronomic techniques make itpossible for us to easily attain abundant food. At the same time, the convenienttransportation system has ensured the freshness(最好加个of food). We can easilypickup vegetables, fruits and dairy products according to our need（需求的话还是用复数吧这里）.
Furthermore, along with the increasing（有用过increasing了，可以换做growing） awareness of the significance of foodhealth, the government has attached greater importance to the issue（Greater importance?这个不是很理解啊）. Governmentagencies has（have） take the responsibilities for settingfood safety standards, conducting inspections, ensuring the standards are met,and maintaining a strong enforcement program to deal with those who do notcomply with standards. For example, on January 4, 2011, the Food SafetyModernization Act(FSMA) was signed into law by President Obama, which enablesthe Food and Drug Administration(FDA) to protect public health by strengtheningthe food safety system. It allows FDA to focus more on the (这个the多余了)preventing food safety problems, ratherthan reacting to the problems after they occur. Under the severe protection ofthe government, it's not surprising that the food today is healthier than inthe past, when little attention was paid on food safety.
Last but not least, some new professions, such asdietitians and nutritionists, have come up nowadays. They are experts in foodand nutrition. They work in hospitals, cafeterias or schools, advising peopleon what to eat in order to lead a healthy life. With their help, people areable to know how to select and prepare food in a scientific and healthy way.Moreover, universities also offer the courses in food and health and relatedtraining for those who want to become a dietitian or nutritionist in thefuture.
Though the advantages of food now are considerable, we shouldnever deny that food in the past has some minor advantages. Food in the past ismore natural with little contamination. Comparatively, we eat junk food,non-nutritional food sometimes. However, if we treat it properly and buildhealthy eating habits, the problems can be neglected（应该用avoid，neglect有种主观忽视的意思）.
In a nutshell, with the help of advanced technology andthe severe supervision of the government, there's no doubt that the food wehave today is much healthier.
文章写的很赞啊···里面的很多观点跟结构都很有说服力。尤其是那个FDA的例子，很能体现出作者表达的主要的意思。lol, 我压根就不知道这码事情啊~~~~楼主的文章也给了我很大的启发~~~受教了~~~~
作者: jiaosisisisi 时间: 2012-6-8 08:58
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-667143-1-1.html
thanks
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-6-8 09:36
文章写的很赞啊···里面的很多观点跟结构都很有说服力。尤其是那个FDA的例子，很能体现出作者表达的主要的意思。lol, 我压根就不知道这码事情啊~~~~楼主的文章也给了我很大的启发~~~受教了~~~~
-- by 会员 h14zpsn (2012/6/7 23:04:06)
谢谢你帮忙批改，你的建议很有用呢，很多都是我自己没有察觉的到的～～其实里面的例子也是我在网上查到了，自己知道的例子太少了，现在不计时写作，多多积累点吧～～
When we decide which foods to eat and how to prepare them, our choices do much more than please our taste buds - they also affect our health.（这里的they感觉有点指代不明啊，如果再用一次food会不会更好些呢。）
这里的ｔｈｅｙ并不是指ｆｏｏｄ，而是指代ｏｕｒ ｃｈｏｉｃｅｓ，你再瞧一瞧，是吧~~
Food and health is the （这里感觉应该用a，不应该特指啊，恩恩，是我错了）topic of endless discussion, which also brings about some controversy. （这里会不会说Food andhealth is a controversial topic of endless discussion会更好些呢？）
（safer和healthier直接画等价可能有点唐突。作者可以再用一句来做连接啊）
的确，我还是直接改为ｆｏｏｄ ｈｅａｌｔｈ 吧
However, due to the lack of food, people in the past may find it hard to meettheir need of energy input, let alone to have adequate nutrition.（这里的let alone to have adequatenutrition是不是一个fragment了呀~）
Let alone
let alone 更不用提；更别说
我这里的确错了，应该将to 去掉
“Their ancestors had been dirt poor and never saw royalty, let alone hung around with them”(Garrison Keillor)
“他们的祖先穷得要命，从来没有见过王族成员，更不用说和他们在一起了”(加里森·谢勒)
There isn't enought room for us, let alone six dogs and a cat
I haven't decided on the menu yet, let alone bought the food.
I haven't decided where to go, let alone when to leave.
Furthermore, along with the increasing（有用过increasing了，可以换做growing,你真的好认真地批改，谢谢你） awareness of the significance of food health, the government has attached greater importance to the issue（Greater importance?这个不是很理解啊）. 改成focus more attention on 如何？
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-6-9 11:13
6月8日100306 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to solve theproblems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
History is a topic of endless discussion, which involvessome controversy. Some people claim that we are prisoners of the pastexperiences, for they limit our ideas and innovations. However, the others holdan opposite opinion, thinking those who control the past control the future. Frommy perspective, I agree with the latter and support the idea that we shouldreview the past, when we solve the problems of the present and the future.
First and foremost, what happened in the past offers abundantinformation of the existing problems, which allows us have a thorough and deepunderstanding of causes of the problems, and even provides the answers. Whenyou go into a doctor's office for the first time, you inevitably have to fillout an information sheet that asks about your medical history. Some of theforms are very detailed, asking questions that require information rarely accessedmemory banks. Why does a doctor ask these questions? The doctor is trying toconstruct an accurate picture of your state of heath, which is heavilyinfluenced by the past. Then, the doctor can understand better about the causesof your symptom and make an accurate diagnosis. This is a good case in point.As we all know, in most cases, past behaviors, past experiences and even aparticular event happened hundreds years ago might be the determinants topresent problems. Thus reviewing the past is necessary in the process of solvingthe existing problems.
Obviously, what happened in the past provides clues to thecurrent problems, and thus reviewing the past should be the premises of solvingthe problems. Apart from this, it also helps us better understand the future.
By looking at what has happened, we can predict what maytake place in the foreseeable future, and how to avoid some imminent calamity.Firstly, reviewing the past, we can clearly understand how things are relatedto one another, which help us predict the future. For example, if there is extremerepression of the people in a certain country over many years, there willprobably be some people who will take the stand to fight back. Moreover, whatwe have learned form the past can assist us help out similar situations. If weavoid problems that we have done, such as the Great Depression, we won't have to deal with that ever again.
Though the advantages of reviewing the past areconsiderable, we should never deny its minor advantages. Just as some peoplemaintain, we might become the prisoners of our experience. However, if we paymore attention to improve our analytical mind, and keep calm when faced withdifficulties, the problem can be avoided.
In a nutshell, we should not neglect the importance ofreviewing the past, for it is the premises of solving the problem of thepresent and the past. It not onlyprovide clues to the problem, but also help us out similar situations in thefuture.
字数：４９０
时间：不计时
作者: vanessa923 时间: 2012-6-9 22:14
标题: 改6月8日独立
改晚了，见谅哈！
红色是改的。黄色背景的是好词好句。蓝色表疑问。
History is a topic of endless discussion, which involvessome controversy（contraversies). Some people claim that we are prisoners of the pastexperiences, for they limit our ideas and innovations. However, the others holdan opposite opinion, thinking those who control the past control(个人举得前面用了control的话这里就最好避免重复用了。考虑一下用have a grip of 吧，我今天刚学的。呵呵） the future. Frommy perspective, I agree with the latter and support the idea that we shouldreview the past, （去掉）when we solve the problems of the present and the future.
First and foremost, what happened in the past offers abundantinformation of the existing problems, which allows us have a thorough and deepunderstanding of causes of the problems, and even provides the answers. Whenyou go into a doctor's office for the first time, you inevitably have to fillout an information sheet that asks about your medical history. Some of theforms are very detailed, asking questions that require information rarely accessed memory banks（表示没看懂）. Why does a doctor ask these questions? The doctor is trying toconstruct an accurate picture of your state of heath（形象！学习了！）, which is heavilyinfluenced by the past. Then, the doctor can understand better（我一般都是用better understand。。better修饰understand，不知道哪种更好？） about the causesof your symptom and make an accurate diagnosis. This is a good case in point.As we all know, in most cases, past behaviors, past experiences and even aparticular event happened hundreds years ago might be the determinants topresent problems. Thus reviewing the past is necessary in the process of solvingthe existing problems.
Obviously, what happened in the past provides clues to thecurrent problems, and thus reviewing the past should be the premises of solvingthe problems. Apart from this, it also helps us better understand the future.（我觉得这个过渡段用得很好，承上启下！）
By looking at what has happened, we can predict what maytake place in the foreseeable future, and how to avoid some imminent calamity.Firstly, reviewing the past, we can clearly understand how things are relatedto one another, which help us predict the future. For example, if there is extremerepression of the people in a certain country over many years, there willprobably be some people who will take the stand to fight back.（我觉得这个例子和论点不是很配，可能表达详细点会更好。你可以说历史上发生了什么暴乱啊，于是新的政府联想过去决定要民主啊等等。） Moreover, whatwe have learned form the past can assist us help out similar situations. If weavoid（是想表达解决的意思么？） problems that we have done, such as the Great Depression, we won't have to deal with that ever again.
Though the advantages of reviewing the past areconsiderable, we should never deny its minor advantages（呵呵，亲，disadvantages）. Just as some peoplemaintain, we might become the prisoners of our experience. However, if we paymore attention to improve（我觉得可以换个词，develop） our analytical mind, and keep calm when faced withdifficulties, the problem can be avoided.
In a nutshell, we should not neglect the importance ofreviewing the past, for it is the premises of solving the problem of thepresent and the past. It not onlyprovide（s） clues to the problem, but also help us out（of） similar situations in thefuture.
总结：
1，语言通顺具体，说服力强。字数好强悍！
2.除了讲理，可以再多加些生活中的更形象的例子作为论据，会更加分的（呵呵我慢慢摸索出来的）
3，整体不错，继续加油哈！
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-6-11 13:28
6月10日100312 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.
More fondly known as the "idiot box", television has become an indispensable member of almost every single family on our planet. And the television effect on children is a topic of endless discussion, which involves lots of controversy. On the one hand, television keeps children aware of current events and cultural experiences, which open doors of the world in their mind. On the other hand, however, it has become the nightmare for parents, for children might become more of a couch potato, with many physical and mental problems. For my perspective, with all aspects considered, parents should limit the television time for their kids in order to make them do well at school.
First and foremost, the growth of time spent next to the TV-set scales up the development of aggression, which have been proved by statistics. Many years before, children regard their parents as the examples of imitation; now these examples come form hit-thrillers and violent films where personages are exaggerated and garbled. In combination with the fact that children don't evaluate what they see and they just take is as the reality, the large amount of violence presented in television might lead them into a wrong perception: people can gain what they want through being stronger and subordinating other people, and they can become popular through killing. Nowadays, instead of playing leap-and-frog at school, children pretend to be "terminators" and run around "killing" each other. Sometimes, they even bully their classmates to get what they want, and the case is not rare.
Moreover, devoting too much time towards watching television also leads to poor academic performance. Just take my little sister for example. many advertisements and programs shown on the television focus on beauty products and physical beauty, shifting her interest from study. In order to spare more time watching her favorite dramas, such as “Secrete Circle” and “the Vampire Diary”, when she came back home, she used to complete her homework rapidly, regardless of its quality. What’s more, even at school, she talked with her friends about the gorgers heroines, whose faces and bodies look like a complete perfection. And she started to pay more attention to her overall outlook. As a result, she fell behind the other students in her class, and have a bad grade during the exam last semester. So limiting the television time should be necessary for children's study.
Admittedly, though the disadvantages of devoting too much time watching television is considerable, we should never deny its advantages. Watching education programs on television help the kids use it effectively. And television also gives exposure to children on different cultural experience, which can broaden their minds.
In a nutshell, watching television do benefits children in some degree, but television also an evil for children, considering its bad effects on both children's physical and mental health. For the purpose of making children perform well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on TV.
作者: nirvanababy 时间: 2012-6-12 23:58
红色改错，高亮是写得好的。
More fondly known as the "idiot box", television has become an indispensable member of almost every single family on our planet. And the television effect on children is a topic of endless discussion, which involves lots of controversy（controversies）. On the one hand, television keeps children aware of current events and cultural experiences, which open doors of the world in their mind. On the other hand, however, it has become the nightmare for parents, for children might become more of a couch potato（和前面的children要保持一致）, with many physical and mental problems. For my perspective, with all aspects considered, parents should limit the television time for their kids in order to make them do well at school.
First and foremost, the growth of time spent next to the TV-set scales upthe development of aggression, which have（has, 指代的是前面一整句吧） been proved by statistics. Many years before, children regard their parents as the examples of imitation; now these examples come form（from） hit-thrillers and violent films where personages are exaggerated and garbled. In combination with the fact that children don't evaluate what they see and they just take is as the reality, the large amount of violence presented in television might lead them into a wrong perception: people can gain what they want through being stronger and subordinating other people, and they can become popular through killing. Nowadays, instead of playing leap-and-frog at school, children pretend to be "terminators" and run around "killing" each other. Sometimes, they even bully their classmates to get what they want, and the case is not rare.
Moreover, devoting too much time towards watching television also leads to poor academic performance. Just take my little sister for example. many advertisements and programs shown on the television focus on beauty products and physical beauty, shifting her interest from study. In order to spare more time watching her favorite dramas,such as “Secrete Circle” and “the Vampire Diary”, when she came back home, she used to complete her homework rapidly, regardless of its quality. What’s more,even at school, she talked with her friends about the gorgers heroines, whose faces and bodies look like a complete perfection.And she started to pay more attention to her overall outlook. As a result, she fell behind the other students in her class, and have a bad grade during the exam last semester. So limiting the television time should be necessary for children's study.
Admittedly, though the disadvantages of devoting too much time watching television is considerable, we should never deny its advantages. Watching education programs on television help the kids use it effectively. And television also gives exposure to children on different cultural experience, which can broaden their minds.
In a nutshell, watching television do benefits children in some degree, but television also an evil for children, considering its bad effects on both children's physical and mental health. For the purpose of making children perform well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on TV.
文章写得很好！逻辑清晰，论述也非常好，有很多地道的表达值得学习~！小问题下次多注意就好啦~
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-9 10:36
标题: 8-8 独立
As we all know, the roles and responsibilities of professorsare closely tied to the central functions of high education. According to adeclaration, which is formulated in 2000 by a representative committee ofcollege and university faculty members, the function of colleges anduniversities are " to promote inquiry and advance the sum of humanknowledge, and to develop experts in various fields". Correspondingly,professors should undertake teaching and research roles to carry out academicwork. However, the balance between the two roles differs widely amongprofessors, and this is a topic of endless discussion. From my perspective, themain role of professor should be to educate students.
First and foremost, the teaching roles of professors make agreat difference to the development of their students. It is acknowledged to usthat professors are the experts in some specific fields and students are regardas learners or novice to the fields. It is professors that disseminate andimpart basic and applied knowledge to their students, and assist them with the effectivelearning process. All of these are beneficialfor students in their future study and work. However, if a professor pays mostof his attention to do research and ignores his teaching quality, studentsmight find it tough to understand the complicated equations and the abstruse technicalterms, which might make them, lose their interest in the field.
In addition, changes made in teaching quality by professorscan make a great contribution to high education. An event, happened in 1980s,can illustrate this point very well. At that time, the teaching role came underincreased scrutiny. Studies, such as Wingspreas Report, outlined the shortcomingsof high education. Some professors became to investigate the failures and eventuallydevelop new approaches to revitalizing teaching effectiveness, such as placingan emphasis on individual needs of students and paying more attention to experiment.Consequently, this development increase students' ability to consider andcritique, and enable students to undertake career positions.
Admittedly, though i believe that teaching should be givenpresence over research, I would not deny the importance of research. Throughsolving the existed tough problems, such as a solution to storage of solarenergy and a cure for cancer, professor might make important breakthroughs,which is beneficial for the society. However, as a student, from myperspective, i assert that the teaching role should be more important.
In nutshell, the teaching roles of professors benefit thedevelopment of students and the entire education. It should be given moreemphasis over research. But it doesn't mean that professor neglect their researchroles.
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-9 16:16
标题: tpo 7
The lecturer claims that the United States can attractcustomers by receiving ecocertification. However, the claim is no in agreementwith the statement in the reading passage.
First of all, based on the fact that customers are exposedto too much advertising, the writer assumes without justification that theywill not value the ecocertification label. However, the lecturer points outthat customers would not treat all advertising the same, and they are able todistinguish the advertising made by companies for their own products andcertification issued by independent international organizations. If it is thecase, customers will trust the ecocertification label.
In addition, according to the result of a study, price determinescustomers' decision, only when the competing product is much higher or lower inprice. The lecturer argues that if there is little difference in price,customers will choose product on other factors, and customers preserve thevalue of protecting environment.
Finally, the lecture raises the issue that it is foreigncompetition that force American wood companies to keep up with the rest of theworld. If American companies fail toattract the customers, who is interested in ecocertified wood products, foreigncompanies will take the advantage to enter the American market.
In a nutshell, the ideas made in the lecture contrast thepoints in the reading passage, which tend to prove the statement that UnitedStates is unlikely to receive ecocertification to attract customers.
作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-8-9 22:15
8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！
As we all know（更地道的说法是as it is known to all）, the roles and responsibilities of professors are closely tied tothe central functions of high education. According to adeclaration, which isformulated in 2000 by a representative committee of college and universityfaculty members, the function of colleges anduniversities are " to promoteinquiry and advance the sum of human knowledge, and to develop experts invarious fields". Correspondingly, professors should undertake teaching andresearch roles to carry out academicwork. However, the balance between the tworoles differs widely among professors, and this is a topic of endlessdiscussion. From my perspective, the main role of （a）professorshould be to educate students.
First and foremost, the teaching roles ofprofessors make a great difference to（in） thedevelopment of their students. It is acknowledged to us that professors are theexperts in some specific fields and students areregard（regarded） as learners or novice to（on） thefields. It is professors that disseminate and impart basic and appliedknowledge to their students, and assist them with the（an） effective learning process. All of these are beneficial for（to） students in their future（改成further会更好）study and work. However, if a professor pays most of his attention to doresearch and ignores his teaching quality, students might（might指的是可能性非常小，改成may好一些） find it tough to understand thecomplicated equations and the abstruse technical terms, which might make them, （删掉逗号）lose their interest in the field.
In addition, changes made in teachingquality by professors can make a great contribution to（on） higheducation. An event, happened in 1980s, canillustrate（事件本身不能举例啊，举例的必须是人，改成canbe used to illustrate） thispoint very well. At that time, the teaching role came under increased scrutiny.Studies, such as Wingspreas Report, outlined the shortcomings of higheducation. Some professors became to investigate the failures and eventually develop（developed） new approaches to revitalizingteaching effectiveness, such as placing an emphasis on individual needs ofstudents and paying more attention to（on）experiment. Consequently, this development increase（改成has improved） students' ability to consider and critique,and enable（enables） students to undertake careerpositions.
Admittedly, though i believe that teachingshould be given presence over research, I would（改成can会好一点）not deny the importance of research. Through solving the existed toughproblems, such as a solution to storage of solar energy and a cure for cancer,professor might make important breakthroughs, which is beneficial for（to） the society. However, as a student, from my perspective, i assertthat the teaching role should be more important. 这段让步感觉有点为了让步而让步的感觉，要不然就是纯让步，说的少一点，要么就说出你反对这种说法的理由，这样说理效果更好
In nutshell（地道！）, the teaching roles of professors benefit the development ofstudents and the entire education. It should be given more emphasis overresearch. But it doesn't（does not，托福写作不让缩写） mean that professor neglecttheir research roles. 最后一段把个文章的基调都变了，前面都说的是一边倒，就算是让步段都说了还是认为教书更重要，最后一段总结最好不要让步啊，XDF的老师说，老外更喜欢一边倒的例子，就算是你两个观点都要说，也要分情况说，比如在XXX情况下教书更重要，while在YYY情况下研究更重要。
最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-9 22:57
8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！
最后一段把个文章的基调都变了，前面都说的是一边倒，就算是让步段都说了还是认为教书更重要，最后一段总结最好不要让步啊，XDF的老师说，老外更喜欢一边倒的例子，就算是你两个观点都要说，也要分情况说，比如在XXX情况下教书更重要，while在YYY情况下研究更重要。
最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
最后一段把个文章的基调都变了，前面都说的是一边倒，就算是让步段都说了还是认为教书更重要，最后一段总结最好不要让步啊，XDF的老师说，老外更喜欢一边倒的例子，就算是你两个观点都要说，也要分情况说，比如在XXX情况下教书更重要，while在YYY情况下研究更重要。
最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)
谢谢你的批改，很相信，有很多值得我学习的～～
另外，有几点希望和你讨论一下
Firstand foremost, the teaching roles ofprofessors make a great difference to（in） thedevelopmentof their students.
这里的to使用正确。以下为例
What you havetold me may make adifference tomy own position.
live;">你告诉我的一切，可能影响我自己的看法live;">。live;">
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-9 22:57
8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！
最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
All of these are beneficial forstudents in their further study and work.最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)
这里使用for还是to， 我仍不是很清楚。不应该是bebeneficial for sb to do sth 么？
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-9 22:58
8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！
最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
Anevent, happened in 1980s, canillustrate（事件本身不能举例啊，举例的必须是人，改成canbe usedto illustrate） thispointvery well.最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)
| A simple example will serve to illustrate the point. | |
| live;">一个简单的例子可以说明这一点。live;"> live;"> |
| -- 来源 -- 英汉 - 辞典例句 |
[/td] [/tr]
作者: guodonghu 时间: 2012-8-9 23:03
8.8 独立我是错误君我是没错但是改了更好君我是文章结构建议君我是写的赞！
最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
All of these are beneficial forstudents in their further study and work.最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！
-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)
这里使用for还是to，我仍不是很清楚。不应该是bebeneficial for sb to do sth 么？
-- by 会员 acrophobiahy (2012/8/9 22:57:46)
beneficial to sb/sth
TO do sth is beneficial to sb.
酱紫的
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-10 12:37
标题: 08-09独立
You can know a lot about aperson through the types of friends this person has?
In our life, what is more important than knowing people whomatters to us most? If we can know their mind and thoughts better, there is nodoubt that we not only make our life better but also the life of the personaround us. In our personal life, we can bring peace and happiness only byunderstanding our loved ones. In our professional life, we can motive ourcolleagues and team to achieve the goal of the organizations only by properlyunderstanding them. But the essential problem with discussing is whether we canknow a lot about a person through observing what type of friends he accompanywith? From my perspective, it is might be a misleading way to assess a person'scharacter and identity.
First and foremost, we cannot know a person merely in termsof the type of his or her friends, in that each individual has his or her owncriterion of making friends. Some people prefer to make friends with those whohave some similar aspects with them, while others might like to make friendswith people who possess some admirable qualities that can compensate their disadvantages.Having no idea about what kind of person he or she belongs to, it is reallytough to perceive his or her personality just based on the information abouthis or her friends.
In addition, even though we have known what kind of personone belongs to, information about his or her friends just provides clues for usto speculate his or her character and identity. Without further confirmation,we cannot assert that what we are expecting is the truth. Sometimes, relyingheavily on the information might even mislead you. An example in archaeologycan illustrate this point very well. A recent discovery reveals that the mainsubject of a cave in Sahara Desert is hippo, an animal which has to live nearadequate water resource year round. According to the fact, some archaeologistshypothesize that Sahara Desert may used to be a place abounding with waterresources. However, what if the paintings were actually drew by people who hadtravelled back for other place, and happened to see some hippos on theway? Only people at that time knew thetruth.
Last but not least, in order to know about a person, despiteobserving what type of friends he accompanies with, we should focus most ourattention on some other factors. For example, we can tell a lot about aperson's character by observing the individual's ability to tell the truth andto commit. Also, we should pay attention to his attitude, and whether it ispositive or negative, try to distinguish how it impacts his life.
In a nutshell, I assert that it is impossible to know a lotabout a person, solely citing the information about the types of his friends,for we have no idea about his criterion of making friends. Besides, the truthinessmay out of our speculation. So, in order to understand a person, we should alsopay some other information.
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-10 12:38
标题: ０８－０９综合
tpo 7
The lecturer claims that the United States can attractcustomers by receiving ecocertification. However, the claim is no in agreementwith the statement in the reading passage.
First of all, based on the fact that customers are exposedto too much advertising, the writer assumes without justification that theywill not value the ecocertification label. However, the lecturer points outthat customers would not treat all advertising the same, and they are able todistinguish the advertising made by companies for their own products andcertification issued by independent international organizations. If it is thecase, customers will trust the ecocertification label.
In addition, according to the result of a study, price determinescustomers' decision, only when the competing product is much higher or lower inprice. The lecturer argues that if there is little difference in price,customers will choose product on other factors, and customers preserve thevalue of protecting environment.
Finally, the lecture raises the issue that it is foreigncompetition that force American wood companies to keep up with the rest of theworld. If American companies fail toattract the customers, who is interested in ecocertified wood products, foreigncompanies will take the advantage to enter the American market.
In a nutshell, the ideas made in the lecture contrast thepoints in the reading passage, which tend to prove the statement that UnitedStates is unlikely to receive ecocertification to attract customers.
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2012-8-10 18:04
The lecturer claims that the United States can attractcustomers by receiving ecocertification. However, the claim is no in agreementwith the statement in the reading passage.
First of all, based on the fact that customers are exposedto too much advertising, the writer assumes without justification that theywill not value the ecocertification label. However, the lecturer points outthat customers would not treat all advertising the same, and they are able todistinguish the advertising made by companies for their own products andcertification issued by independent international organizations. If it is thecase, customers will trust the ecocertification label.
In addition, according to the result of a study, price(n.不能单独使用)determinescustomers' decision, only when the competing product is much higher or lower inprice. The lecturer argues(这段只表达了一个意思用不到argue) that if there is little difference in price, customers will choose product( n.不能单独使用) on other factors, and customers preserve thevalue of protecting environment.(没有显示出阅读的内容)
Finally, the lecture raises the issue that it is foreigncompetition that force American wood companies to keep up with the rest of theworld.If American companies fail toattract the customers, who is interested in ecocertified wood products, foreigncompanies will take the advantage to enter the American market.
In a nutshell, the ideas made in the lecture contrast thepoints in the reading passage, which tend to prove the statement that UnitedStates is unlikely to receive ecocertification to attract customers.
PS:注意一下拼写,听力部分尽量使用原词,比如第三层的interested, offering ecocertified wood,第二层不全less than five percent
作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-8-10 22:17
8.9独立In our life, what is more important thanknowing people who matters to us most? If we can know their mind and thoughtsbetter, there is no doubt that we not only make （not only 放到这）ourlife better but also the life of the person around us. In our personal life, wecan bring peace and happiness only by understanding our loved ones. In ourprofessional life, we can motive our colleagues and team to achieve the goal ofthe organizations only by properly understanding them. But the essentialproblem with discussing is whether we can know a lot about a person throughobserving what type of friends he accompany with?（句号） From my perspective, it
First and foremost, we cannot know a personmerely in terms of the type of his or her friends,in（for） that each individual has his or her own criterion of makingfriends. Some people prefer to make friends with those who have some similaraspects with them, while others might like to make friends with people whopossess some admirable qualities that can compensate their disadvantages. Havingno idea about what kind of person he or she belongs to, it is really tough toperceive his or her personality just based on the information about his or herfriends.
In addition, even though we have known what（我觉得改成which好一点） kind of person one belongs to, information about his or her friendsjust provides clues for us to speculate his or her character and identity.Without further confirmation, we cannot assert that what we are expecting isthe truth. Sometimes, relying heavily on the information might even misleadyou. An example in archaeology can illustrate this point very well. A recentdiscovery reveals that the main subject of a cave in Sahara Desert is hippo, ananimal that has to live near adequate water resource year round. According tothe fact, some archaeologists hypothesize that Sahara Desert may used to be aplace abounding with water resources. However, what if the paintings wereactually drew by people who had travelled back for other place, and happened tosee some hippos on the way? Only peopleat that time knew the truth. 虽然例子能很好的支持Sometimes,relying heavily on the information might even mislead you. 但是题目问的是friend，给出一个更好的关于朋友的例子会更直接
Last but not least, in order to know abouta person, despite（改成rather than更好） observingwhat type of friends he accompanies with, we should focus most our attention onsome other factors. For example, we can tell a lot about a person's characterby observing the individual's ability to tell the truth and to commit. Also, weshould pay attention to his attitude, and whether it is positive or negative,try to distinguish how it impacts his life.
In a nutshell, I assert that it isimpossible to know a lot about a person, solely citing the information aboutthe types of his friends, for we have no idea about his criterion of makingfriends. Besides, the truth iness（想说内在的？没查到你想说的词- -） mayout of our speculation. So, in order to understand a person, we should also paysome other information.
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-12 17:14
To improve the quality of education，universities should spendmore money on professors' salaries.
1. 加强老师的教学技能 2.激发学生的兴趣 3.学校的设备
It is undeniable that the quality of education is closely linked with the development of students, universities and even the society as a whole, and it is a topic of endless discussion. When it comes to the question whether universities should spend more money on professors' salaries, some people strongly support it, thinking it is an effective way to raise professors' enthusiasm on teaching. However, from my perspective, i think the amount of salaries is not equal to the quality of teaching, and universities should invest the money in some more meaningful areas.
First and foremost, though increasing salaries might motivate professors' enthusiasm to some extent, it cannot improve their teaching qualities noticeably. To improve the quality of education, universities should provide professors more opportunities to develop their teaching skills. Since 1980s, when the teaching quality came under increased scrutiny, Studies, such as Wingspreads Report, have outlines the shortcomings of educational quality. Some professors have been devoting themselves to investigate the failures and have developed some new approaches to revitalizing teaching effectiveness, such as placing an emphasis on individual needs of students and paying more attention to experiment. Universities should spend more money on teaching training projects, and help professors to learn about these achievements in education and apply these effective methods into their own teaching. In this case, spending more money to develop professors' teaching skills is more meaningful than increasing their salaries.
In addition, it is also worthwhile to equip universities with some sophisticated facilities. Students and professor should not confine their study in textbook. By contrast, they should broaden their mind by keep track of the current development in their field. So it's necessary for them to have an easy access to a vast resource of information. Universities should be responsible to create such an opportunity by building up modernized libraries and providing a fast-speed internet service in campus. Besides, universities should also set up some laboratories to assist professors and students to do research. With these useful facilities, it would be convenient for the improvement of education quality.
Last but not least, the initiative of students also plays a significant role in improving the quality of education, so universities should invest more money on financial aid for needy students. Nowadays, many college students have part-time jobs because of high price of tuition. In order to improve the quality of education, Students should concentrate more on their school work without worries about college cost and tuition. With the help of financial aid, students can concentrate more on their studies and then they will demand higher education to improve their study levels. Eventually, the quality of education is improved by the effort of students studying very hard.
In a nutshell, to improve the quality of education, it is not a sagacious method to spend more money on professors' salaries. More importantly, universities should develop professors' teaching skills, offer more necessary facilities and provide financial aid for needy students.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-12 21:35
To improve the quality of education，universities should spendmore money on professors' salaries.
1. 加强老师的教学技能 2.激发学生的兴趣 3.学校的设备
It is undeniable that the quality of education is closely linked with the development of students, universities and even the society as a whole, and it is a topic of endless discussion. When it comes to the question whether universities should spend more money on professors' salaries, some people strongly support it, thinking it is an effective way to raise professors' enthusiasm on teaching. However, from my perspective, i think the amount of salaries is not equal to the quality of teaching, and universities should invest the money in some more meaningful areas.
First and foremost, though increasing salaries might motivate professors' enthusiasm to some extent, it cannot improve their teaching qualities noticeably. To improve the quality of education, universities should provide professors more opportunities to develop their teaching skills. Since 1980s, when the teaching quality came under increased scrutiny, Studies, such as Wingspreads Report, have outlines(outlined) the shortcomings of educational quality. Some professors have been devoting themselves to investigate the failures and have developed some new approaches to revitalizing teaching effectiveness, such as placing an emphasis on individual needs of students and paying more attention to experiment. Universities should spend more money on teaching training projects, and help professors to learn about these achievements in education and apply these effective methods into their own teaching. In this case, spending more money to develop professors' teaching skills is more meaningful than increasing their salaries.(你这段的中心句是To improve the quality of education, universities should provide professors more opportunities to develop their teaching skills.吧,可是你后面只有在最后一句的时候提到了这个内容.前面都在讲教育的弊端啊,然后有人发现了去改善,跟这个中心句貌似木有关系啊...你可以写之前老师没有develop他们的skill怎么样,之后develop以后怎么样...)
In addition, it is also worthwhile to equip universities with some sophisticated facilities. Students and professor should not confine their study in textbook. By contrast, they should broaden their mind by keep(keeping) track of the current development in their field. So it's necessary for them to have an easy access to a vast resource of information. Universities should be responsible to create such an opportunity by building up modernized libraries and providing a fast-speed internet service in campus. Besides, universities should also set up some laboratories to assist professors and students to do research. With these useful facilities, it would(will) be convenient for the improvement of education quality.
Last but not least, the initiative of students also plays a significant role in improving the quality of education, so universities should invest more money on financial aid for needy students. Nowadays, many college students have part-time jobs because of (the)high price of tuition. In order to improve the quality of education, Students should concentrate more on their school work without worries about college cost and tuition. With the help of financial aid, students can concentrate more on their studies and then they will demand higher education to improve their study levels. Eventually, the quality of education is improved by the effort of students studying very hard. (by the very hadr effort of students)
In a nutshell, to improve the quality of education, it is not a sagacious method to spend more money on professors' salaries. More importantly, universities should develop professors' teaching skills, offer more necessary facilities and provide financial aid for needy students.
楼主写的很不错啊,错误很少.很棒的!
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