ChaseDream
标题: 【写作小分队】易雨水巷的作文贴~求大地震式的轰炸~thx [打印本页]
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-21 19:52
标题: 【写作小分队】易雨水巷的作文贴~求大地震式的轰炸~thx
总而言之，言而总之，开始吧！
说来惭愧，本人于昨日才刚开始准备写作，准备T的过程中，劣迹斑斑，在此准备接受各种批评教育，痛改前非。也是希望可以让自己可以坚持下去
废话就不多说了，重点就是：
马上就要上战场了，于今日开始每日一篇进行超强化练习
练习的题目来自【写作小分队】的作业&竹子的机经预测（嗯，其实是想选两者重合的题目来练习的）
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-21 19:55
2011.1.15NA 第一篇写的异常怨念，一年半没动过笔写作文的人实在伤不起，求各种轰炸，将不胜感激
Some people think that a university professor should focus time on doing research; while others think that the main role of a professor is to educate students in a university. What's your opionion and why？
People always hold different point of views about the question that what’s the role of a university professor? Some thinks a university professor ought to focus time on doing research while others assert that the main role of a professor is to educate students in a university. When asked about this problem, I, without doubt, believe that an excellent professor should be a good teacher who may dedicate to educate students and meanwhile he or she is supposed to do enough reaches to be an expert in his or her filed. The reasons for my answer could be many, but the following are the most vital ones.
As everyone knows, one of the important reasons why students go to school is to learn from professors. This often means a university professor should be responsible for educating these students who are eager to increase their knowledge. For instance, it is the desire to have a good education that supports me and my classmates to go through the rough period during which we had spared no effort to prepare an exam for the entrance of a famous university. Just imagine what would be if these professors only focus on research. Maybe this would contribute to a decline in the number of undergraduates.
Besides, in no way could an incapable person be a professor in a university. Just as the ancient Chinese saying goes “To entrench oneself in a position and do no useful work”. That’s to say, a professor must be learned. Hence, this asks a professor to do research to improve his or her academic ability. Then one can deserve the honor of a professor in a university. A majority of professors in China are supposed to do certain researches and publish a couple of essays every year to retain their vocation as a professor.
Last but not the least; a professor can educate students via research. This just like another old Chinese saying goes “To shoot two hawks with one arrow”. I mean that, students can be assistants in a professors’ research. If so, professors and students can both benefit a lot. Once I participated in professor Zhang’s research about cultural investment. I not only learned more information about cultural investment, but also got the experiences of how to do a research. For the sake of a professor, this results in a more efficient research with my help.
Anyway, in my opinion, a professor needs to integrate his or her role between an educator and researcher, rather than act one of the two.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-22 00:27
到大本营回复才会被分组互改哦。
乖去大本营看看规则吧~~~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-22 10:06
嗯嗯 谢谢 今天已经占座了 坐等分组接受轰炸
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-22 20:58
还有一个问题，大家觉得是用一个模版比较好，还是多种形式的变换比较好哇？
2010.9.24
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they can start working.
It is universally acknowledged that colleges and universities play an important role in students’ growth and that one of their responsibilities is to help students to be right for a job. Hence, there is no denying that, from my perspective, students should be offered a better job preparation by colleges or universities before they can start working. And here are the reasons.
To begin with, students go to colleges and universities in order to be more competitive in the way of pursuing a better life and a good job is undoubtedly essential to this destination. Lin Zhang, who will graduate in this summer, has got an offer from the most famous computer company-Lenore Company. How grateful he is to the Career Instruct Center in Shandong University! He said that it is the job preparation that our university provides that helps him a lot. A better preparation improves his knowledge of taking a face-to–face interview as well as some details that shouldn’t be noticed.
Furthermore, society is actually different from universities as well as colleges. In my opinion, colleges together with universities are the one to which students can turn for help. That’s to say, a better job preparation will be needed to help students prepare to be prepared before they step into the complex society. Apart from how to get a job, some problems can also be figured out in a job preparation in a good way such as how to deal with emergency, how to build a friendly relationship with colleague and so on. Lei Li, a success elegant woman, once dare not to find a job for the fear that she couldn’t get well with her coming colleagues. The job preparation told her several strategies such as to be a woman who wears a smile all the time due to a basis that human beings are nicer to who smile to them. What’s more, a job preparation grant Lei Li a chance to practice these tricks by providing an office team consisted of students from different majors.
To add yet another reason to boot, that an high reputation can be earned if colleges and universities offer a better job preparation. Shandong University really benefits from it. Since the university help a lot of students find a satisfying job. The company speaks highly of these students who get profits from a better preparation. So it reaches to a point where companies are inclined to have students graduating from Shandong University.
With all the aspects carefully taken into consideration, why colleges as well as universities do not offer a better preparation? In this way, both students and colleges can benefit a lot.
作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-4-23 00:26
晨依又来吓唬人了。。。绝大多数是建议不是错误，希望我的好战友不要被吓到哦~~
红色为错误，蓝色为疑问or建议，绿色为点评，高亮为精彩！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they can start working.
It is universally acknowledged that colleges and universities play an important role in students’ growth and that one of their responsibilities is to help students to be right(ready/well-prepared) for a job. Hence, there is no denying that, from my perspective, students should be offered a better job preparation by colleges or universities before they can start working. And here are the reasons.(开头很不错！赞一个~~)
To begin with, [students go to(应该是going to、不然就两个主语了，我觉得也可以写attending) colleges and universities in order to be more competitive in the way of pursuing a better life and a good job is undoubtedly essential to this destination.](这里说一下[...]的部分，感觉应该换一下表达，因为你看现在这样写的话下划线部分感觉是作为students going to college的定语的，但是这却是我们要重点说的地方！所以，我做了点修改，你参考下：no one would deny that becoming more competitive in the way of pursuing a better life and a good job is considered an essential purpose of students attending college.)Lin Zhang, who will graduate(这里最好是能写一下from college啊什么的，避免有点abrupt的感觉。)in this summer, has got an offer from the most famous computer company-Lenore Company(其实我个人认为可以写成he has got an offer from ...before his graduation graduation ceremony this summer，我的意思是强调他提前找到了工作，而不是把“毕业前”作为修饰he的成分。).How grateful he is to the Career Instruct Center in Shandong University!(个人感觉这个感叹句用得不是特别合适，我猜你是想加重一下语气，但是这里不需要强调他的感激而是应该强调一下Thanks to the CIC in SDU, he....哈、可以掺和到前面那一句里。)He said that it is(was) the job preparation that ouruniversity provides(provided) that helps(helped) him a lot(我认为这里a lot把很重要的内容都简化了，建议突出一下和job有关的细节，比如说well-prepared for the interview...或者improved my various abilities). A better preparation improves his knowledge of taking a face-to–face interview as well as some details that shouldn’t be noticed.(建议句间适当加一点连接词让文章衔接更紧密。)
Furthermore, society is actually different from universities as well as colleges.(我觉得这个不能算是topic sentence, 像是少了一截似的，个人建议as society is..., college do have the responsibility to provide students...) In my opinion, colleges together with universities are(is吧?) the one to which students can turn for help. That’s to say, a better job preparation will be needed to help students prepare to be prepared(可以换一下其他的表达，如a better job preparation is required to equip students with various capabilities to meet the needs of companies/severe competitions) before they step into the complex(一般用complicated) society. Apart from(+the problem of) how to get a job, some problems can also be figured out in a job preparation in a good way such as how to deal with emergency, how to build a friendly relationship with colleague(s) and so on.(我感觉不需要用how to，有点不正式的感觉呢，直接说Apart from ways of hunting for a job, .......such as problem handling, relationship building...)(加个for example吧、)Lei Li, a success(ful) elegant woman, once dare not to find a job for the fear that she couldn’t get well with(get on well with/ get along well with) her coming colleagues. The job preparation told(感觉说job preparation用tell不大合适呢，From the job preparation, she learned several...你看会不会好一点?) her several strategies such as(such as 后面要加多个的)to be(being) a woman who wears a smile all the time(注意这里是all the time了前面是不是应该用is wearing?) due to a basis that human beings are nicer to who smile to them. (句子太长了，感觉很啰嗦。简化or拆分一下)What’s more, a job preparation grant(ed) Lei Li a chance to practice these tricks(感觉有点贬义，用tips比较好呢、) by providing an office team consisted of students from different majors.
To add yet another reason to boot, that an high reputation can be earned if colleges and universities offer a better job preparation.(+For instance,注意衔接)Shandong University really benefits from it. Since the universityhelp(s) a lot of students find a satisfying job(应该用完成时，has helped...而且since什么这个不是一个句子呀、可以把后面句子连上，it's students are spoken highly of by companies). The company speaks highly of these students who get profits from a better preparation. So it reaches to a point where companies are inclined tohave(hire?) students graduating from Shandong University.
With all the aspects carefully taken into consideration, why (+don't) colleges as well as universities do not offer a better (job) preparation(+before students can start working我觉得表达得清楚一点更好)? In this way, both students and colleges can benefit a lot.
To易雨水巷：我改的地方挺多的，但是其实绝大多数地方不是错误，就是我个人感觉能再提升的一些小地方。整体文章还是很好的呀！尤其是框架搭构的很perfect，举得例子也不错~~只是填的内容应该再提高一点点。还有就是很多地方改的都是个人观点，也不能保证就都是对的，你斟酌着看，也欢迎给我指出错误的地方哈~~说一个小问题——长句子好多好多呢，有一些读起来感觉很费劲，而且有的感觉啰嗦。（是不是被动形式用得太多了？）还有几个长句的内容很丰富，但是重点没有突出出来，注意下句式的选择，同时建议文章长短句结合。还有就是注意小细节时态啊单复数啊什么的，其他的都没有了。希望你不要被我大片的彩色吓到啊，有很多东西都是我要向你学习的，加油！
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-23 07:42
谢谢晨依的如此详细的批改，我不会被吓到得哦，就拍你不吓我呢O(∩_∩)O哈！
早上看到这么好的修改稿，心情很愉快O(∩_∩)O~ rock together!
thx thx thx thx
现在贴上根据晨依的批改，我修改过的文：） （欢迎继续批改哦O(∩_∩)O~）
It is universally acknowledged that colleges and universities play an important role in students’ growth and that one of their responsibilities is to help students to be well-prepared for a job. Hence, there is no denying that, from my perspective, students should be offered a better job preparation by colleges or universities before they can start working. And here are the reasons.
To begin with, no one would deny the fact that becoming more competitive in the way of pursuing a better life and a good job is essential purposes of students attending college. To illustrate, tanks to the Career Instruct Center in Shandong University, Lin Chang has got an offer from the most famous computer company-Lenore Company, before his graduation ceremony this summer. He said that it was the job preparation that our university provided that helped him a lot. For example, this improves his knowledge of taking a face-to–face interview as well as some details like having a formal dress that should’t be noticed.Furthermore, as society is actually different from colleges, college do have the responsibility to provide students a job preparation. In my opinion, colleges together with universities is the one to which students can turn for help. That’s to say, a better job preparation is required to equip students with various capabilities to satisfy the needs of severe competitions before they step into the complicated society. Apart from hunting a job, problem handling, relationship building and so forth can be figured out in a job preparation in a good way as well. For instance, Lei Li, a successful elegant woman, once dare not to find a job for the fear that she couldn’t get on well with her coming colleagues. Nevertheless, several strategies she learned form the job preparation made her take on an entirely new look. From then on, Lei li began to wear a smile due to the basis that human being are usually nicer to those who smile to them . What’s better, a job preparation granted Lei Li a chance to practice these tips by providing an office team consisted of students from different majors.To add yet another reason to boot, that an high reputation can be earned if colleges and universities offer a better job preparation. The example is not far to seek. Shandong University really benefits from it. Since the university has provided a lot of students a job preparation，these students are spoken highly of by companies. So it reaches to a point where companies are inclined to hire students graduating from Shandong University.With all the aspects carefully taken into consideration, why don't colleges as well as universities offer a better job preparation before students can start working? In this way, both students and colleges can benefit a lot.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-23 20:35
4.23 TPO19综合
In the reading, the writier presents a new advertising tactic, buzzing and subsequently introduces some critics about it from three aspects. However, in the listening, a buzzer strongly argues that buzzing is being misleading and gives his reasons contrary to what the reading said.
First of all, it is said in the reading that buzzers may give incorrect information to consumers. Nevertheless, the buzzer in the listening speaks something really different and take one of his own experience as an example. In light of the listening, as a buzzer, he often uses the production and confirms the production is pretty good. In other word, cosumers get truth as opposed to lies form a buzzer.
In addition, the listening said that customers are not listen to their endorsements less critically. Instead, they ask many questions about the product such as the price, how long the buzzer has used it and so on. This is another point where the listening contradracts with the reading.
Las but not the least, while the reading declares that the buzzers with a hidden agenda may result in the spread of mistrust as well as dishonesty, the lecture on contrary, asserts that if buzzing exactly leading to a mistrust, which is harmful to the company, the company won' t hire a buzzer to promote their product. From the buzzer's perspective in the listening, buzzers makes the society more trustful and let being open to people.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-23 20:36
4.23 独立
10211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
From my point of view, there is no doubt that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes and here are the reasons.
Just as the saying goes “Even Homer nods.” That’s to say, everyone would make mistakes in his or her lives. It is what one can learn from mistakes that really matters. Children, not mature both physically and spiritedly, are more likely to make mistakes and under this condition they should be treated with tolerance especially by their parents. My father did a good job dealing with this kind of problems. I once broke a lamp bulb when I was 9 years old. No one witnessed this scene. So I just clean up these particles and pretended that everything is in order. However, the dark betrayed me and my father learned that the lamp bulb was broken up. However, he just exchanged a new lamp bulb and said nothing. On our dinner time, I finally sanded up and admitted my mistake. My father told me he forgave me because of my being brave enough to confront it. From this experience, I learned to be an honest girl and face my mistakes bravely in my left life.
What’ more, there is a saying goes “Failure is the mother of success.” Or rather, mistakes, in some way, not always means a bad thing and they may contribute to success. For instance, Edison and his well-known invention—lamp bulb without question is a good example. At first, Edison made many mistakes before he finally found the right way to invent the lamp bulb. Since mistakes can help a man find a way to success, how come parents forbid their children to make a mistake? In my opinion, parents are supposed to correctly treat their children’s mistake and help them learn from mistakes. Hence, children may translate a mistake to a success just like what Edison had done.
On the other hand, not allowing mistakes will suppress children’s development. If a child puts all his or her intelligence to avoid a mistake, he or she will not dare to attempt something new, which will leads to his or her remaining stagnant and be uncompetitive in this world filled with capable competitors.
To sum up, parents should be tolerate to their children’s mistakes and help them learn from these mistakes.
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-24 15:34
4.23独立改文
4.23 独立 改文 规则：红色错误，蓝色疑问，高亮精彩
10211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
（加点开场白吧，这么直接来观点太突兀了）From my point of view, there is no doubt that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes and here are the reasons.
第一句一定要把主题句写出来(To begin with, mistakes are usually unavoidable.)Just as the saying goes “Even Homer nods.”(“智者千虑，必有一失”的意思，太好了，又学到了)That’s（that is） to say, everyone would make mistakes in his or her lives. It is what one can learn from mistakes that really matters. Children, not mature both physically and spiritedly, are more likely to make mistakes and under this condition（Under this condition可以放到下一句了）they should be treated with tolerance especially by their parents. My father did a good job dealing with this kind of problems. （take my own case as an example）I once broke a lamp bulb when I was 9 years old. No one witnessed this scene. So I just clean(cleaned) up these particles and pretended that everything is(was) in order. However, the dark betrayed me and my father learned that the lamp bulb was broken up. However, he just exchanged a new lamp bulb and said nothing. On our dinner time, I finally sanded up(这个用法不常见的，还是用stood up比较保守) and admitted my mistake. My father told me (that)he forgave(had forgiven)me because of my being brave enough(braveness) to confront it. From this experience, I learned to be an honest girl and face my mistakes bravely(courageously,bravely用过了，换一下) in my left(这里是想表达什么呢？) life.
What’ more, there is(as) a saying goes “Failure is the mother of success.” （children could learn from their failure and eventually succeed）Or rather, mistakes, in some way, not always meansa bad things and they may contribute to success. For instance, Edison and his well-known invention—lamp bulb without question(可以不要了) is a good example. At first, Edison made many mistakes before he finally found the right way to invent the lamp bulb. Since mistakes can help a man find a way to success, how come parents forbid their children to make a mistake? In my opinion, parents are supposed to correctly treat their children’s mistakes(和后面保持一致)and help them learn from mistakes. Hence, children may translate a mistake to（into） a success just like what Edison had done.
On the other hand, not allowing mistakes will suppress children’s development. If a child puts all his or her intelligence to avoid a mistake, he or she will not dare to attempt something new, which will leads to his or her remaining stagnant and be uncompetitive in this world filled with capable competitors.
这一段字数略显不足，举个例子更好
To sum up, parents should be tolerate to their children’s mistakes and help them learn from these mistakes.（对上几段的分论点总结一下吧）
Conclusion:1.每一个分段必须要有TS，而且TS一定要简短有力，观点突出，这样显得行文很有逻辑和条理
2.注意时态一致哦，尤其像第一个主段，事情发生在以前，所以一律、严格用过去时
3.多用同义替换，想mistakes can be replaced by faults, errors and defects……
Ps:用了很多言语，好棒啊，感觉对灯泡情有独钟的样子~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-24 19:20
4.24
101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?
As far as we are concerned, people from all kinds of walks have different attitudes toward weather one should finishing one project before starting another or doing several projects meanwhile. The discussion is so heat that both two sides assert their own opinion. When asked about this issue, I stand up for the former one. Hence, I present two reasons for why I prefer finishing one project before starting another.
First of all, concentrating one project will bring a better consequences, since one are likely to be distracted if he or she doing two or more projects at the same time. Just as the ancient saying goes, "there is no one can do two things at the same time." We can learn from the proverb that, one would better focus on one thing before he or she starts out another. Take myself as an example, professor Chang together with professor Li hand out us two assignments and asked us to hand in before the deadline 1st, Oct. I thought I was capable to cope with them at the same time. However, the consequence turned out that I was totally wrong. I was puzzled by these two assignments, since one of them is something about economy and the other is relevant to psycology. What's worse, as the deadline approaching, I was too annoyed to know how to calm down and concentrate on one thing. Nevertheless, I had to hand in my homework on time. Hence, I jotted my drafts both quickly and roughly. Professor Chang and professor Li consulted with me separately but gave me the same suggestion that I focus on one thing one time.
Apart from that concentrating one project does good to a better essay, it means a higher efficiency as well. That's to say, finishing one project before starting another can accelerate the path to an end. To illustrate, when my roommates, Ying Gao, did the two assignments what I have mentioned above, she did one by one. The result was that she complished the two assignments on 21st, June, while I handed in my poor essays on the deadline, 1st, Oct. From this experience, I was impressed on the fact that one is without question ought to not overestimate oneself and not attempt to do more projects at the same time.
To summarize, since finishing one project before starting another can bring us a better essay as well a high efficiency, I must be stupid if I still do two or more projects at the same time.
作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-4-24 20:23
今天上课闲着无聊的时候简单看了看前面修改的，我觉得不错了。继续加油哈~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-24 20:45
谢谢婷婷的修改&建议
ps 材料例子太少了，冥思苦想才想到了灯泡，较杯具：（
4.23独立改文 紫红色为依据婷婷的意见修改的
10211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
Recently, a heat discussion has appealled people's attention, about weather or not partents ought to allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. As as far as we are concerned, people from every walk of life hold different attitudes towards this issue. （加点开场白吧，这么直接来观点太突兀了）From my point of view, there is no doubt that I stands up for the statement that parents are supposed to be tolerate for their children making errors as well wel help them leran form their own faults.
there is no doubt that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes and here are the reasons.
To begin with, since mistakes are unsually uninevitable, there is no reason for parents to be angry with their children making errors.第一句一定要把主题句写出来(To begin with, mistakes are usually unavoidable.)Just as the saying goes “Even Homer nods.”(“智者千虑，必有一失”的意思，太好了，又学到了)That’s（that is） to say, everyone would make mistakes in his or her lives. It is what one can learn from mistakes that really matters. Children, not mature both physically and spiritedly, are more likely to make mistakes. and under this condition（Under this condition可以放到下一句了）And under this condition, they should be treated with tolerance especially by their parents. My father did a good job dealing with this kind of problems. Take my own cas as an example(以前只会take myself as an example,谢谢婷婷的赐教
)(take my own case as an example）I once broke a lamp bulb when I was 9 years old. No one witnessed this scene. So I just cleancleaned(cleaned) up these particles and pretended that everything is was(was) in order. However, the dark betrayed me and my father learned that the lamp bulb was broken up. However, he just exchanged a new lamp bulb and said nothing. On our dinner time, I finally sanded up stood up(这个用法不常见的，还是用stood up比较保守) and admitted my mistake. My father told me that (that)he forgave(had forgiven) had forgiven me because of my being brave enough(braveness) to confront it. From this experience, I learned to be an honest girl and face my mistakescourageouslybravely(courageously,bravely用过了，换一下) in myleft(这里是想表达什么呢？) (是想说在未来的日子里、作为未来的生活来着00)life.
What’ more, children could learn form their failure and ultimately succeed.there is(as)As a saying goes “Failure is the mother of success.” （children could learn from their failure and eventually succeed）Or rather, mistakes, in some way, not always meansa bad things and they may contribute to success. For instance, Edison and his well-known invention—lamp bulb without question(可以不要了) is a good example. At first, Edison made many mistakes before he finally found the right way to invent the lamp bulb. Since mistakes can help a man find a way to success, how come parents forbid their children to make a mistake? In my opinion, parents are supposed to correctly treat their children’s mistakes(和后面保持一致)and help them learn from mistakes. Hence, children may translate a mistake to iinto（into） a success just like what Edison had done.
On the other hand, not allowing mistakes will suppress children’s development. If a child puts all his or her intelligence to avoid a mistake, he or she will not dare to attempt something new, which will leads to his or her remaining stagnant and be uncompetitive in this world filled with capable competitors. For example, my cousin, Chen Yang, who was always told "Do not make a mistake!" by my rigorous aunts, lived an unhappy life. She never tried somtheing new just because of the fear of making a fault. What' worse, she was far behind in her classmates and dropped out of shcool at an age of 13.
这一段字数略显不足，举个例子更好
To sum up, defects are unevitable, and probably translated into success. Also, no mistakes actually harm children's development. Hence, taken these three facets into consideration, parents should be tolerate to their children’s mistakes and help them learn from these mistakes. （对上几段的分论点总结一下吧）
Conclusion:1.每一个分段必须要有TS，而且TS一定要简短有力，观点突出，这样显得行文很有逻辑和条理
2.注意时态一致哦，尤其像第一个主段，事情发生在以前，所以一律、严格用过去时
3.多用同义替换，想mistakes can be replaced by faults, errors and defects……
Ps:用了很多言语，好棒啊，感觉对灯泡情有独钟的样子~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-24 20:55
今天上课闲着无聊的时候简单看了看前面修改的，我觉得不错了。继续加油哈~
-- by 会员 晨依Jacqueline (2012/4/24 20:23:29)
谢谢晨依的夸奖，我会继续努力的
rock rock rock rock
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-24 22:06
4.24 TPO20
Three aspects of damage caused by a "let it burn" policy are introduced in the reading material. However, the professor in the listening presents the active effects of the policy.
To begin with, the professor asserts that in fact, forest fires in Yellowstone grant opportunities to new plants, which is helpful for the forest. For example, smaller plants get opportunities to grow up and another example is that a high level balance of a ecosystem. This is the point where the listening are different from the statement in the reading that Yellowstone caused huge damage to the park's trees and other vegetation.
In addition, the lecture casts doubts on the harm to animals, which is backed up by the writer.
However, on the contrary, the lecture holds the view that like what has been mentioned above, the forest fire provides ideal habitates for animals such as rabbets and heirs. And stronger food chains are built up.
Last but not the least, the reading thinks that the number of tourists was cut down because of the forest fire, while in light of the listening, the professor believes there are many factors for the decreasingly tourists, but the forest fire is not a key factor. To illustrate, she said tourists come back next year and each year after that.
作者: 探险者 时间: 2012-4-25 00:36
标题: 探险者 回复 易雨水巷 4.23综合
4.23 TPO19综合
In the reading, the writier（writer） presents a new advertising tactic, buzzing and subsequently introduces some critics about it from three aspects. However, in the listening, a buzzer strongly argues that buzzing is being misleading（觉得这句话不好，因为argue除了做争论的意思外，在一般的文章中常常以“认为”的意思出现，建议斟酌一下） and gives his reasons contrary to what the reading said（前面用的一直是现在时态，这里觉得没必要用过去时，直接说says或者expresses就可以）.
First of all, it is said in the reading that buzzers may give incorrect information to consumers. Nevertheless, the buzzer in the listening speaks（这个用speak不合适吧？表示“认为”“表达”一类的词很多，比如explore， analyze等等） something really different and take one of his own experience as an example. In light of the listening, as a buzzer, he often uses the production and confirms the production is pretty good. In other word, cosumers（consumers） get truth as opposed to lies from a buzzer.
In addition, the listening said that customers are not listen（和前面的are不对应啊） to their endorsements less critically（这是阅读原句consumers listen to their endorsement less critically than they should，你的文章中有连续七个单词和阅读原文重复，这可能会被视作抄袭，会影响分数。具体连续多少个词我记不太清楚了，但是作出适当的转述是应该的，比如endorsement可以换成positive evaluation，less critically可以换成people are less critical about listening to）. Instead, they ask many questions about the product such as the price, how long the buzzer has used it and so on. This is another point where the listening contradracts（contradicts，而且这是个及物动词，后面的with是多余的） with the reading.
Last but not the least, while the reading declares that the buzzers with a hidden agenda may result in the spread of mistrust as well as dishonesty, the lecture on contrary, asserts that if buzzing exactly leading（在if从句中，主语是buzzing，那么谓语用leading是不是不合适？） to a mistrust, which is harmful to the company, the company won' t hire a buzzer to promote their product. From the buzzer's perspective in the listening, buzzers makes（主谓一致） the society more trustful and let being open to people.
1.觉得综合写作的主要部分是听力，楼主的大部分听力都听到了，建议在第一点的内容再多做强化
2.注意一些基本的语法错误，这会对分数有比较大的影响的
3.综合写作中一些常用词汇的积累是很重要的，比如认为，反对等意思的词汇，建议多多积累并掌握正确的用法
作者: 喵喵了个咪 时间: 2012-4-25 12:17
4.24
101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?
As far as we are concerned, people from all kinds of walks have different attitudes toward weather one should finishing one project before starting another or doing several projects meanwhile. The discussion is so heat that both two sides assert their own opinion. When asked about this issue, I stand up for the former one. Hence, I present two reasons for why I prefer finishing one project before starting another.
First of all, concentrating one project will bring a better consequences, since one are(is) likely to be distracted if he or she doing two or more projects at the same time. Just as the ancient saying goes, "there is no one can do two things at the same time." We can learn from the proverb that, one would better focus on one thing before he or she starts out another. Take myself as an example, professor Chang together with professor Li handed(前后时态要一致) out us two assignments and asked us to hand in before the deadline 1st, Oct. I thought I was capable to cope with them at the same time. However, the consequence turned out that I was totally wrong. I was puzzled by these two assignments, since one of them is something about economy and the other is relevant to psycology(psychology). What's worse, as the deadline approaching, I was too annoyed to know how to calm down and concentrate on one thing. Nevertheless, I had to hand in my homework on time. Hence, I jotted my drafts both quickly and roughly. Professor Chang and professor Li consulted with me separately but gave me the same suggestion that I should focus on one thing one time.(这段举例说明自己无法按时完成老师的作业反向论证了下段的论点)
Apart from that concentrating one project does good to a better essay, it means a higher efficiency as well. That's to say, finishing one project before starting another can accelerate the path to an end. To illustrate, when my roommates, Ying Gao, did the two assignments what I have mentioned above, she did one by one. The result was that she complished the two assignments on 21st, June, while I handed in my poor essays on the deadline, 1st, Oct. From this experience, I was impressed on the fact that one is without question ought to not overestimate oneself and not attempt to do more projects at the same time.
To summarize, since finishing one project before starting another can bring us a better essay as well a high efficiency, I must be stupid if I still do two or more projects at the same time.(不光是为了写essay，在总结的时候不要把自己的例子写进去，缩小了题目的普遍性。)
文章的主体部分结构存在问题。第二段用自己的反例说明专注于一件事可以提高办事质量（例子让人感觉在说效率而非质量），而第三段正面论述的内容略少。一般先进行正面论述，再进行反面让步式攻击。
另外可能由于例子的问题，给人感觉论点有点少，论据不够典型(可以说你的文章只举了一个例子)。
最后概括的时候就不要把前边的例子带进来了，会缩小论证的范围。
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-25 21:58
24号综合听写，到时候改完就贴在这了，别急哦
4.24 TPO20
Three aspects of damage caused by a "let it burn" policy are introduced in the reading material. However, the professor in the listening presents the active(positive)effects of the policy.
To begin with, the professor asserts that in fact, forest fires in Yellowstone grant opportunities to new plants, which is helpful for the forest. For example, smaller plants get opportunities to grow up and another example（seeds of a certain plants） is that a high level balance of a ecosystem(这里材料中没有提到). This is the point where the listening are different from the statement in the reading that Yellowstone caused huge damage to the park's trees and other vegetation.
这一段的细节听得不够清晰
In addition, the lecture casts doubts on the harm to animals, which is backed up by the writer.
However, （重复了）on the contrary, the lecture holds the view that like what has been mentioned above, the forest fire provides ideal habitates(这个地方逻辑有问题，大火不能提供habitats，大火为small trees的生长提供了机会，这些树成为了small animals的habitats,这么过渡一下感觉会更好，还能多写点字~)（habitats）for animals such as rabbets and heirs(rabbits and hares). And stronger food chains are built up.
Last but not the least, the reading thinks that the number of tourists was cut down because of the forest fire, while in light of the listening, the professor believes there are many factors for the decreasingly tourists, but the forest fire is not a key factor.（这个细节有问题，听力材料里是说low rainfall, unusually strong wind and accumulation of undergrowth 这些导致了1988年的大火，在这之后没有再出现了） To illustrate, she said tourists come back next year and each year after that.
Conclusion：
1.听力方面还要加强，一定要把细节听出来，这个是拿分的关键，我也在纠结练习中
2.模板用的很好了，一定要保持哦
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-25 22:12
24号综合听写，到时候改完就贴在这了，别急哦
-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/4/25 21:58:13)
恩恩，你的我也还在改呢\(^o^)/~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-25 22:13
4月25日
110708 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need.
As the society full filled with fierce competition, individuals may inevitablyencounter difficulties and get into troubles. Under this circumstance, one requires friends to help himself or herself go through the hard time. I mean that I extremely think the statement is ridiculous that choosing friends that could have fun with us is more significant than making friends that will be helpful especially when we are in need. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.
To begin with, a friend in need is a friend indeed. This is an ancient proverb and it indicates that a real friendis to whom you can turn for help. A good example is not far to seek. When preparing for today's TOEFL test, once I was so frustrated and even thought about to give up. I could not bear the disappointing fact that I always forgot the words I had learned in mind before. One day, my considerate friend, JiaJia, learned that I was warpedwith the countless English words. Then she not only encouraged me to hold on but also did me a favor to deal with these enormous words. At that time , every morning , the first sentence she greeted to me was not "Good morning" but "Come on, baby.You can make it!" Apart from that, she companied me to recite these word by designing particular word card, as well. Thanks to her help, I finally sit here to accomplish my exam. In contrast, LeiLei, my another friend, who went shopping with me every weekend before I determined to take a TOEFL test, left me alone and even did not say a comfortable word. Therefore, a real friend will help a lot, while you can not counts for a friend that could only have fun with.
In addition, friends that will help you when you fall into troubles, will enhance our society's trustto other people. When a friend gives a hand to an individual, the individual will spare no effort to do a favor to his or her another friend who is in need. Thus, the favor is passed on one by one and a more beautiful world is built up.
To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, that making friends helping us when we are in need is friends indeed and could raise the trust of the world, I strongly assert that it is less important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-26 16:31
4.26
101030 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.
As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether or not people get access to become educated more easily than in the past. Individuals from every walk of life, hold distinct opinions. Some arrest that people living in the past are more likely to be educated due to less distracting entertainments. With the reference to the contrary, I am back up the statement that modern people are easier to become educated because advanced technologies make more knowledge available, more and more people got opportunities to study as well as entertainments are one of studying methods themselves.
To begin with, advanced technologies now provides more information than in the past, which do broaden our horizon of the word.A good example is not far to seek.Computers have a significant impact on education. We can get access to internet which means massive information.Therefore, we can learn a lot from these the latest news, currents events and even the past valuable message. In this process, we benefit a lot and improve our own knowledge. Apart from that, nowadays, thanks to the modern technologies, internet schools make the distant education possible. In brief, people today are more likely to be educated due to a massive information environment offered by advanced technologies.
In addition, almost everyone has the right to be educated today. As everyone knows, in the ancient days, women were not allowed attend school. They were supposed to stay home and did some houseworks such as waving, cooking and so forth. But education right nowadays is equal between boys and girls.Girls enjoy studying in a primary school, high school and college as long as they want to be educated. Except women, children in poor families were also not allowed to attend school due to the high education fare as well. What’s worse, these unlucky children had to work to assist their parents to raise the whole family. At that time, education is the right of aristocracy.In contrast, primary education are usually free in many states. No one could rob the education right of the other’s.
Last but not the least, people can learn from entertainments as well. Admittedly, some people are addicted to entertainments like computer games and drop out of school. Nonetheless, a majority of individuals profits from entertainments both relaxing and knowledge. Take the television for an example, virtues of kindness, diligence and so on can be learned from soap operas.
To sum up, take the three advantages into consideration, there is no denying that human beings who live a life in contemporary society get access to become educated more easily than in the past.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-26 21:07
4.26 TPO22
In the reading, the professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage. It is said in the reading that ethanol is actually a goog alternative to gasoline. However, the writer arrests that the the ethanol is not a good replacement.
First of all, the speaker thinks that ethanol not add global warming. Because the ethanol is made of plants like corns, the growing plants in fact remove carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. In contrast, the reading passage believes that the burn of ethanol as a fuel emit carbon dioxide. So,the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading.
Second, the speaker discusses food for animals is not reduced by the the production of ethanol. It is said in the lecture that what is used to produce ethanol is not eaten by animals like sulfide. Contradicting what is stated in the reading passage that the production of ethanol will decline corns are used as animals food.
Finally, the professor in the lecture raises the issue that ethanol's price will be cheaper in the future. And the government's tax subsidies won't be always need. What's more, as the need for ethanol increasing, the production subsequently being added up which will lead to the drop of price while the writer in the reading asserts that ethanol's price is a disadvantage without the help of the government. This is the point where the listening disagrees with what is demonstrated in the reading.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-26 22:52
紫色为根据喵喵建议修改 大幅修改O(∩_∩)O~
101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing oneproject before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?
As far as we are concerned, people from all kinds of walks（短语用错了改为every walk of life /all walks of life） have different attitudes toward weather oneshould finishing one project before starting another or doing several projectsmeanwhile. The discussion is so heat that both two sides assert their ownopinion. When asked about this issue, I stand up for the former one. Hence, Ipresent two reasons for why I prefer finishing one project before startinganother.
First of all, concentrating (+ on) one project will bring a better consequences,since one are(is) likely to be distracted if he or she doing two or moreprojects at the same time. Just as the ancient saying goes, "there is noone can do two things at the same time." We can learn from the proverbthat, one would better focus on one thing before he or she starts out another.Take myself as an example, professor Chang together with professor Li handed(前后时态要一致) out us twoassignments and asked us to hand in before the deadline 1st, Oct. Ithought I was capable to cope with them at the same time. However, theconsequence turned out that I was totally wrong. I was puzzled by these twoassignments, since one of them is something about economy and the other isrelevant to psycology(psychology). What'sworse, as the deadline approaching, I was too annoyed to know how to calm downand concentrate on one thing. Nevertheless, I had to hand in my homework on time.Hence, I jotted my drafts both quickly and roughly.Professor Chang and professor Li consulted with me separately but gave me thesame suggestion that I should focus on one thing one time.(这段举例说明自己无法按时完成老师的作业反向论证了下段的论点)【我也感觉如此啊，想不出例子来很痛苦啊 整段修改 First of all, concentrating on a projectwill bring a better consequences, since one is likely to be distracted if he orshe doing two or more projects at the same time. Just as the ancient saying goes,"there is no one can do two things at the same time." We can learnfrom the proverb that, one would better focus on one thing before he or shestarts out another. Take my professor Li for an example. She always told us herown experience to prove that focusing on one project is one of the guarantee ofa good consequence. Her famous report about How medium-sized and smallenterprises survive in a fierce competitive society , which is thought ofhighly by experts, ascribed to her devoting herself in the only research aboutit.】
Apart from that concentrating one project does good to abetter essay, it means a higher efficiency as well. That's to say, finishingone project before starting another can accelerate the path to an end. A good example is not far to seek. 
rofessor Chang together with professor Liu handed out us two assignments and asked us to hand in before the deadline1st, Oct. My roommate, Ying Gao, did the two assignments one by one and I startedout the two projects at the same time. The result was that she accomplished thetwo assignments on 21st, June, while I handed in my poor essays on thedeadline, 1st, Oct. I thought I was capable to cope with them meanwhile ina short time. However, the consequence turned out that I was totally wrong. Asthe deadline approaching, I was too annoyed to know how to calm down andconcentrate on one thing. Nevertheless, I had to hand in my homework on time.Hence, Ijotted my drafts both quickly and roughly. From this experience, I was impressed on the fact thatone is without question ought to not overestimate oneself and not attempt to do moreprojects at the same time.
To summarize, since finishing one project before starting another can bring usa better essay as well a high efficiency, I must bestupid if I still do two or more projects at the same time.【这句去掉换成 I do prefer accomplish one project before carryingout another to doing two or more projects meanwhile】(不光是为了写essay，在总结的时候不要把自己的例子写进去，缩小了题目的普遍性。)
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-27 09:29
4.26 综合修改
4.26 TPO22
In the reading, the professor completely refutes what (are) stated in the reading passage. It is said in the reading that ethanol is actually a goog(good)alternative to gasoline. However, the writer arrests that the the ethanol is not a good(convincing) replacement.
First of all, the speaker thinks that ethanol(does) not add global warming. Because the ethanol is made of plants like corns, the growing plants in fact remove carbon dioxide in the atmosphere(as they absorb the carbon dioxide as part of nutrition). In contrast, the reading passage believes that the burn of ethanol as a fuel emits carbon dioxide. So,the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading.
Second, the speaker discusses food for animals is not reduced by the the production of ethanol. It is said in the lecture that what is used to produce ethanol(with plants cellulose part which are ) is not eaten by animals like sulfide. Contradicting what is stated in the reading passage that the production of ethanol will decline corns are used as animals food.
Finally, the professor in the lecture raises the issue that ethanol's price will be cheaper in the future. And the government's tax subsidies won't（will not）be always need. What's(what is) more, as the need for ethanol increasing, the production subsequently being added up which will lead to the drop of price while the writer in the reading asserts that ethanol's price is a disadvantage without the help of the government. （Besides, as studies show if the production of ethanol could be 3 times greater, its cost will drop by 40%）This is the point where the listening disagrees with what is demonstrated in the reading.
Conclusion: 1.水巷的听力细节不够，reading和listening 的比例大致是2:1，要注意把握好~
2.写作时不能写连写
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-27 09:56
回去好好研究,加强听力谢谢婷婷^_^
作者: jasonma2046 时间: 2012-4-27 16:04
标题: 4.26独立修改
4.26
101030 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.
As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether or not people get access to become educated more easily than in the past. Individuals from every walk of life（all walks of life是否合适） hold distinct opinions. Some arrest（assert） that people living in the past are more likely to be educated due to less distracting entertainments. With the reference to the contrary, I am back up the statement that modern people are easier to become educated because advanced technologies make more knowledge available, more(分句More) and more people got （get）opportunities to study as well as entertainments are one of the studying methods themselves.
To begin with, advanced technologies now provides more information than in the past, which do broaden our horizon of the word(world).A good example is not far (easy?)to seek. Computers have a significant impact on education. We can get access to internet which means massive information (is available).Therefore, we can learn a lot from these the latest news, currents events and even the past valuable messages. In this process, we benefit a lot and improve our own knowledge. Apart from that, nowadays, thanks to the modern technologies, internet schools make the distant education possible. In brief, people today are more likely to be educated due to a massive information environment offered by advanced technologies.
In addition, almost everyone has the right to be educated today. As everyone knows, in the ancient days, women were not allowed to attend school. They were supposed to stay at home and did some houseworks(不可数吧) such as waving （washing）, cooking and so forth. But education right nowadays is equal between boys and girls (But boys are girls nowadays have equal opportunities to receive education).Girls enjoy studying in a primary school, high school and college as long as they want to be educated. Except women, children in poor families were also not allowed to attend school due to the high education fare as well. What’s worse, these unlucky children had to work to assist their parents to raise the whole family. At that time, education is the right of (for) aristocracy. In contrast, primary education are usually free in many states. No one could rob the education right of the other’s.
Last but not the least, people can learn from entertainments as well. Admittedly, some people are addicted to entertainments like computer games and drop out of school. Nonetheless, a majority of individuals profits from entertainments both relaxing and knowledge.(总觉得这句话有问题) Take the television for (as )an example, virtues of kindness, diligence and so on can be learned from soap operas.
To sum up, take the three advantages into consideration, there is no denying that human beings who live a life in contemporary society get access (are easier)to (介词)（get access to education） become educated more easily than in the past.
By the way, is the word"entertainment" countable or uncountable. I guess when you say several types of entertainments you can say it is countable but when you say several times of entertainment it is uncountable. This is just my feeling for your reference.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-28 20:37
4.28
20110402NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.
As everyone knows, high school students usually get into a dilemma about how to pick out a proper college to attend. Some assert that high school students are supposed to concentrate on the graduates' development to take a college for if graduates in a university have good future, they will be educated well as well. Nonetheless, from my perspective, the fame of professors ought to play a more important role in choosing university and my reasons are as follows.
First of all, the high fame of professors in a school is also means a better educational environment. Just as the saying goes "A fine fowl perches only on a fine tree and a virtuous minister serves only a virtuous master." Excellent professors often populate in excellent universities. That is to say, if high school students go to colleges which consist of well-known professors, they will be thrown in an environment that is full filled with academic atmosphere and divergent resources. This contributes a lot to one’s development. Admittedly, graduates' development has a huge impact on the following students, as if their development indicates the followings’ future. However, in my opinion, individuals in an awesome environment, generally speaking, grow up to be excellent graduates. If so, how come we do not choose a university according to the fame of its professors?
In addition, good educates usually can ensure good educators. Professors, as you can imagine, play a significant role in students' growth. To some length, it is professors in universities that lead you to be a good boy or not. Professors in colleges enjoy a high fame in society as well as their fields and under their education, students are more likely to be a very famous and respective people like their adore professors. A good example is not far to seek. rofessor Shang, one of the best psychologists in my country, teaches in the Peking University. What is more important, a majority of his students is successful both in prestige as well as career.
To sum up, from my point of view, there is no denying that when pointing out college, students should be more focused on the fame of professors than the development of graduates. After all, high fame of a university’s professors in general means a better educational environment and a guarantee of good graduates.
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-29 23:26
sorry啊，今天到北京才安定下来，这就改哦
4.28
20110402NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.
As everyone knows, high school students usually get into a dilemma about how to pick out a proper college to attend(这个省去也不改变意思). Some assert that high school students are supposed to concentrate on the graduates' development to take a college for（改成because） if graduates in a university have good future, they will be （also）educated well as well.(这么写吧，要不然感觉怪怪的) Nonetheless, from my perspective, the fame of professors ought to play a more important role in choosing university and my reasons are as follows.
First of all, the high fame of professors in a school is also means a better educational environment. Just as the saying goes "A fine fowl perches only on a fine tree and a virtuous minister serves only a virtuous master." Excellent professors often populate in excellent universities. That is to say, if high school students go to colleges which consist of well-known professors, they will be thrown in an environment that is full filled with academic atmosphere and divergent resources. This contributes a lot to one’s development. Admittedly, graduates' development has a huge impact on the following students, as if their development indicates the followings’ future. However, in my opinion, individuals in an awesome environment, generally speaking, （seldom是不是少了个词？）grow up to be excellent graduates. If so, how come we do not choose a university according to the fame of its professors?
In addition, good educates usually can ensure good educators（这句话没有很好地概括本段大意）. Professors, as you can imagine, play a significant role in students' growth. To some length, it is professors in universities that lead you to be a good boy or not. Professors in colleges enjoy a high fame in society as well as their fields and under their education, students are more likely to be a very famous and respective people like their adore（adoring） professors. A good example is not far to seek. rofessor Shang, one of the best psychologists in my country, teaches in the Peking University. What is more important, a majority of his students is successful both in prestige as well as career.(再加上一个结论会更完整)
To sum up, from my point of view, there is no denying that when pointing out college, students should be more focused on the fame of professors than the development of graduates. After all, high fame of a university’s professors in general means a better educational environment and a guarantee of good graduates.
Conclusion:雨巷基本上都没有错误，模板用得很好，好帅的说！
还是写三个主段吧，这样字数上就占优势了。
逻辑上还要加强些哦，加油啦~
作者: 夏雨霏霏 时间: 2012-4-30 09:06
As the society is full filled with fierce competition, individuals may inevitably encounter difficulties and get into troubles(重复，删了吧). Under this circumstance, one requires friends to help himself or herself go through the hard time. I mean that I extremely think （I think that the statement is extremely ridiculous by claiming that ）the statement is ridiculous that choosing friends that could have fun with us is more significant than making friends that will be helpful especially when we are in need. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.(与其否定观点，不如给肯定的)
To begin with, a friend in need is a friend indeed. This is an ancient proverb and it indicates that a real friend is the oneto whom you can turn for help. A good example is not far to seek. When preparing for today's TOEFL test(别扭),once I was so frustrated and even thought about to give up during my preparation of the TOFEL examination. I could not bear the disappointing fact that I always forgot the words I had learnedin mind(没必要) before. One day, my considerate friend, JiaJia, learned that I was warped with the countless English words. Then she not only encouraged me to hold on but also did me a favor to deal with these enormous words. At that time , every morning , the first sentence she greeted to me was not "Good morning" but "Come on, baby.You can make it!" Apart from that, she companied me to recite these word by designing particular word card, as well. Thanks to her help, I finally sit here to accomplish my exam. In contrast, LeiLei, my another friend（another friend of mine）, who went shopping with me every weekend before I determined to take a TOEFL test, left me alone and even did not say a comfortable word.（不确定这个可以这么用） Therefore, a real friend will help a lot, while you can not counton a friend that could only have fun with.(例子占的篇幅太多)
In addition, friends that will help you when you fall into troubles, will enhance our society's trust to other people.（enhance the harmony of our society）When a friend gives a hand to an individual, the individual will spare no effort to do a favor to his or her another friend who is in need(太绝对，when someone obtain a help from a friends, it is probably that he or she may give a hand to another friend who is in a difficult situation). Thus, the favor is passed on one by one and a more beautiful world is built up.（这两段篇幅不合理，而且这段一下子立意太高了,有点牵强）
To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, that making friends helping us when we are in need is friends indeed and could raise the trust of the world, I strongly assert that it is less important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need.(最好正着写，more important)
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-4-30 22:16
%>_<% 今天依旧只写了2个主体段还木有例子！还写了1个小时！停了一天不写作文，更不会写了！
4月30日110805 NA If a friend of yours has problems inlearning a certain subject, and you happen to be very good at it. Do you thinkthat your friend should ask help from you or from a professional tutor?
When learning a certain subject, sometimes onewill encounter difficulties. How would you deal with this circumstance? Turn toyour friend who is adept at this subject or have a professional tutor? Whenasked, people from divergent backgrounds hold different ideas. Some areinclined to have a professional tutor for the reason that it won't bother theirfriends. Nevertheless, for my standpoint, I extremely urge my friend to ask mefor help as long as I have a good knowledge of this subject. Then my reasonsare as follows.
To begin with, in my opinion, I am supposed tohelp my friend who is faced with several problem in studying a subject. Just asthe saying goes" A friend in need is a friend indeed." I am in hopethat I could be the one to whom my friend can turn when he or she is introuble. From my perspective, if I make friends with one, I will be ready tospare no effort to get him or her out of troubles. Hence, if one of my friendsmeet with problems when learning a subject and I am exactly good at it, Isincerely expect that I can do something to help him or her rather than leavinghe or she to have a tutor.
In addition, I could offer my friend somebenefits such as a better communication, no extra fee and the same academicassistance. First of all, my friend will be easier to consult these problemswith me rather than a strange tutor. After all, we are so familiar thatcommunication is convenient and efficient. What is more, while a professionaltutor requires a lot of money, I am willing to help my friend without any fee.All I want to do is just help my friend get out of troubles instead of earning moneylike a tutor. Last but not the least, since I am very good at this subject, Iam capable of providing my friend with the same academic contribution the sameas a professional tutor. Hence, my friend need not worry about I could not likea professional tutor assist him or her to cope with these problems.
In brief, since I am available in above-mentionedaspects, how come I agree with that my friend should ask help from aprofessional tutor as opposed to me when she or he has problems in learning acertain subject?
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-1 10:12
THX婷婷O(∩_∩)O
4.28根据婷婷意见修改版 紫色为修改部分
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students shouldbe more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professorswhen choosing university.
As everyone knows, high school students usually get into a dilemma about how topick out a proper college to attend(这个省去也不改变意思)【恩恩，去掉】. Some assertthat high school students are supposed to concentrate on the graduates'development to take a college for because（改成because） if graduates ina university have good future, they will be （also）also educated well as well.(这么写吧，要不然感觉怪怪的) 【两个well，确实感觉很怪，thx】Nonetheless, frommy perspective, the fame of professors ought to play a more important role inchoosing university and my reasons are as follows.
First of all, the high fame of professors in a school is also means a bettereducational environment. Just as thesaying goes "A fine fowl perches only on a fine tree and a virtuousminister serves only a virtuous master." Excellent professors oftenpopulate in excellent universities. That is to say, if high school students goto colleges which consist of well-known professors, they will be thrown in an environment that is fullfilled with academic atmosphere and divergent resources. This contributes a lotto one’s development. Admittedly, graduates' development has a huge impact onthe following students, as if their development indicates the followings’future. However, in my opinion, individuals in an awesome environment,generally speaking, （seldom是不是少了个词？）[这个应该木有吧，awesome在这里用的是口语中的棒极了的意思]grow up to beexcellent graduates. If so, how come we do not choose a university according tothe fame of its professors?
In addition, professors who are spoken highly morelikely help their students a lot in building values and enhancing academic knowledge.good educates usually can ensure good educators（这句话没有很好地概括本段大意）. Professors, asyou can imagine, play a significant role in students' growth. To some length,it is professors in universities that lead you to be a good boy or not.Professors in colleges enjoy a high fame in society as well as their fields andunder their education, students are more likely to be a very famous andrespective people like their adore adoring（adoring） professors. Agood example is not far to seek. rofessor Shang, one of the bestpsychologists in my country, teaches in the Peking University. What is moreimportant, a majority of his students is successful both in prestige as well ascareer.(再加上一个结论会更完整) Inbrief, good educates usually can ensure good educators.【啊哈，拿到下面来做小结论了】
【加一段让步吧，头一次写，很纠结额】Admittedly, thegraduates' development is associated a lot with colleges, which may be a factorin sorting out a school. After all, the development of graduates, to some extent,gives hints of the educational standard of a university. However, a good developmentmay depend on oneself. That is to say, one can develop well in a terribleenvironment like the poor little Jobs finally growing up to be one of therichest men in the world. Therefore, in fact the development of graduates isnot convincing enough. On the other hand, undergraduates could take anadvantage of famous professors to have a great development. Therefore, as faras I know, students should be more focused on the fame of professors ratherthan the development of graduates.
To sum up, from my point of view, there is no denyingthat whenpointing out college, students should be more focused on the fame of professorsthan the development of graduates. After all, high fame of a university’s professorsin general means a better educational environment and a guarantee of goodgraduates.
Conclusion:雨巷基本上都没有错误，模板用得很好，好帅的说！
还是写三个主段吧，这样字数上就占优势了。
逻辑上还要加强些哦，加油啦~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-1 10:53
4.25 根据霏霏意见修改版 thx 紫色为修改部分
As the society is fullfilled with fierce competition, individuals may inevitably encounter difficulties and get intotroubles(重复，删了吧). Under this circumstance, one requiresfriends to help him or her go through the hard time. I mean that Iextremely think making friends that will be helpful especially when we are inneed is more significant than choosing friends that could have fun with us. ( I thinkthat the statement is extremely ridiculous by claiming that ）the statement is ridiculous that making friends that will be helpfulespecially when we are in need. My view can be greatly substantiated by followingdiscussions.(与其否定观点，不如给肯定的)
To begin with, a friend in need is a friend indeed. This is an ancient proverb and itindicates that a real friend is the one to whom you can turnfor help. A good example is not far to seek. When preparing fortoday's TOEFL test(别扭),once I was so frustratedand even thought about to give up during my preparation of the TOFELexamination. I could not bear the disappointing fact that I always forgot the words I had learned in mind(没必要) by heart【额，我是要说背诵 learnby heart 写错了 囧】 before. One day, my consideratefriend, JiaJia, learned that I was warpedwith the countless English words. Then she not only encouraged me to hold onbut also did me a favor to deal with these enormous words. At that time , every morning , the first sentence she greeted to me was not "Good morning" but "Come on, baby. You can make it!" Apart fromthat, she companied me to recite these word by designing particular word card, as well. Thanks to her help,I finally sit here to accomplish my exam. Incontrast, LeiLei, my another friend anotherfriend of mine（another friend of mine）, who went shopping with me every weekend before I determined to take a TOEFL test, left me alone and even did not say a comfortable conciliative word.（不确定这个可以这么用） Therefore, a real friend will help alot, while you can not count on a friend that could only have fun with.(例子占的篇幅太多)
In addition, friends thatwill help us when we fall into troubles may do good to the harmony of our society.you when you fall into troubles, will enhance our society's trust to other people.（enhance the harmony of our society）When a friend gives a hand to an individual, theindividual will spare no effort to do a favor to his or her another friend who is in need(太绝对，when someone obtain a help from a friends, itis probably that he or she may give a hand to another friend who is in adifficult situation). When an individual obtains a favorform one of his or her friends, it is possible that he or she give a hand toanother friend who is in a difficult situationl. Thus, the favor ispassed on one by one and a more beautiful world is built up.（这两段篇幅不合理，而且这段一下子立意太高了,有点牵强） For example, one the best kind woman in mycountry, Su Fei, does everything to help others. Once, in a conference, sherevealed the reason why she wants to be a philanthropist. She said that infact, she used to be selfish and self-centered. Nevertheless, when she wasthrown in troubles in doing an important subject, it is her friend, Yu Dan thatdid a favor to her without a world. She was so grateful and since then shedecided to help others as far as possible. As a result, everyone around herstarted to help each other when in need. Ultimately, she gradually becomes a philanthropistand conveys the concept of help throughout the country.
Therefore, a hand for a friend may contribute to a relay of love.
To sum up,due to the above mentioned reasons, that making friends helping us when we are in need is friendsindeed and could raise the trust of the world, I strongly assert thatit is less important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choosefriends that will help you when you are in need.(最好正着写，more important)
I strongly assert that it is more important to choosefriends that will help you when you are in need than to choose friends whocould have fun with us.
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2012-5-1 13:50
先问一个问题，LZ是怎么在30分钟内打完的啊，我的和你字数差不多，但是完成超过了30分钟，真心焦急，盲打不过关
文章里面好多连打没有空格的地方啊，我都帮你改正过了
When learning a certain subject, sometimes onewill encounter difficulties. How would you deal with this circumstance? Turn toyour friend who is adept at this subject or have a professional tutor?(提出问题，引人入胜) Whenasked, people fromdivergent (高级词汇）backgrounds hold different ideas. Some areinclined to have a professional tutor for the reason thatit（指代什么呢）won't（这样写可不规范）bother theirfriends. Nevertheless, for my standpoint, I extremely urge（态度表明的恰到好处）my friend to ask mefor help as long as I have a good knowledge of this subject. Then my reasonsare as follows.
To begin with, in my opinion, I am supposed tohelp my friend who is faced with several problem（problems）in studying a subject. Just asthe saying goes" A friend in need is a friend indeed." I amin hope （待求证）that I could be the one to whom my friend can turn when he or she is in trouble. From my perspective, if I make friends with one（前面是是friends 后面是 one，没看懂）, I will be ready to spare no effort to get him or her out of troubles. Hence, if one of my friends meet with problems when learning a subject and I am exactly good at it, I sincerely expect that I can do something to help him or her rather than leavinghe or she to have a tutor.
In addition,I could offer my friend somebenefits such as a better communication, no extra fee and the same academic assistance. （tutor，【美】(大学中的)助教，出处：
http://dict.baidu.com/s?wd=tutor 据我所知老美的助教是 no fee的，从这个角度来说，LZ的这TS没有了理论支撑。包括本段标出的一些论据）
First of all, my friend will be easier to consult these problemswith me rather than a strange tutor. After all, we are so familiar thatcommunication is convenient and efficient. What is more,while a professionaltutor requires a lot of money, I am willing to help my friend without any fee.All I want to do is just help my friend get out of troubles instead of earning moneylike a tutor.
Last but not the least（这句话显得口语，出处：挑战TOEFL满分作文，作者：许轶） , since I am very good at this subject, Iam capable of providing my friend with the same academic contribution*****（这里是不是少了点什么，读起来好奇怪） the sameas a professional tutor. Hence, my friend need（friends or needs）not worry about I could not likea professional tutor assist him or her to cope with these problems.
In brief, since I am available in above-mentionedaspects, how come I agree with that my friend should ask help from aprofessional tutor as opposed to me when she or he has problems in learning acertain subject?（结尾还是用一个陈述句表达更好一些，起码ETS更接受）
PS：遣词造句能力已经不用多说什么了，谋篇布局尽显老辣，范文也就这个水平了，只要在逻辑上面有所加强就好了。
作者: 自我改造 时间: 2012-5-1 13:59
标题: 4.30 by 自我改造
When learning acertain subject, sometimes one will encounter difficulties. How would you dealwith this circumstance? Turn to your friend who is adept at this subject orhave a professional tutor? When asked, people from divergent backgrounds holddifferent ideas. Some are inclined to have a professional tutor for the reason thatit won't bother their friends. Nevertheless, for my standpoint, I extremelyurge my friend to ask me for help as long as I have a good knowledge of thissubject. Then my reasons are as follows.
To begin with, in my opinion, I am supposed to help my friendwho is faced with several problems in studying a subject. Just as the saying goes" Afriend in need is a friend indeed."(建议改为 Just as the saying..,I am supposed to..) I am in hope that Icould be the one to whom my friend can turn when he or she is in trouble. Frommy perspective, if I make friends with one, I will be ready to spare no effortto get him or her out of troubles. Hence, if one of my friends meet withproblems when learning a subject and I am exactly good at it, I sincerelyexpect that I can do something to help him or her rather than leaving he or sheto have a tutor.
In addition, I could offer my friend some benefits such as abetter communication, no extra fee and the same academic assistance. First ofall, my friend will be easier to consult these problems with me rather than astrange tutor. After all, weare so familiar that communication is convenient and efficient. (建议改为 we are so familiarthat communication between us is more comprehensible and more efficient.)What is more, while a professional tutor requiresa lot of money, I am willing to help my friend without any fee. All I want todo is just help my friend get out of troubles instead of earning money like atutor. Last but not the least, since I am very good at this subject, I amcapable of providing my friend with the same academic contribution the same(删掉) as a professional tutor. Hence, my friend neednot worry about I could not like a professional tutor assist him or her to copewith these problems.
In brief, since I am availablein above-mentioned aspects, how come I agree with that my friend should askhelp from a professional tutor as opposed to me when she or he has problems inlearning a certain subject?
感觉你的文章很流畅，用词也很不错，只是在在论点的提出以及展开上还应该再稍微提高一下，在主体部分每段一个论点，然后最好能够对在提出论点后，对其有一个较深入的、较理论上的解释，最后再加一个例子，或者是自己编一个调查研究也好，这样可能会比较好一些
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-1 16:20
THX ABC&自我改造 4.30修改版 紫色为修改部分
When learning a certain subject, sometimes one willencounter difficulties. How would you deal with this circumstance? Turn to yourfriend who is adept at this subject or have a professional tutor? When asked,people from divergent backgrounds hold different ideas. Some are inclinedto have a professional tutor for the reason that it（指代什么呢）won't（这样写可不规范）bothertheir friends 【改为 instead of putting their friends in trouble】. Nevertheless, for my standpoint, I extremelyurge my friend to ask me for help as long as I have agood knowledge of this subject. Then my reasons are as follows.
To begin with, in my opinion, I am supposed to helpmy friend who is faced with several problems（problems）in studying a subject. Just as the saying goes"A friend in need is a friend indeed." (建议改为 Just asthe saying..,I am supposed to..) I am in hope （待求证）that I could I am supposed to be the one to whom my friend can turn when he or she is in trouble. From my perspective, if I make friends with one（前面是是friends 后面是 one，没看懂）【make friendwith one】, I will be ready to spare no effort to get him or her out of troubles.Hence, if one of my friends meets with problemswhen learning a subject and I am exactly good at it, I sincerely expect that I can do something to help him orher rather than leaving he or she to have a tutor.
In addition, I could offer my friend some benefitssuch as a better communication, no extra fee and the same academic assistance. （tutor，【美】(大学中的)助教，出处：
http://dict.baidu.com/s?wd=tutor 据我所知老美的助教是 no fee的，从这个角度来说，LZ的这TS没有了理论支撑。包括本段标出的一些论据）【恩恩, thx a lot 要把no extra fee去掉了】 First of all, my friend will be easier to consultthese problems with me rather than a strange tutor. After all, we areso familiar that communication is convenient and efficient. (建议改为 we are so familiar that communication between usis more comprehensible and more efficient.) weare so familiar that communication between us is more comprehensible and moreefficient. What is more, while aprofessional tutor requires a lot of money, I am willing to help my friend withoutany fee. All I want to do is just help my friend get out of troubles instead ofearning money like a tutor. Last but notthe least（这句话显得口语，出处：挑战TOEFL满分作文，作者：许轶）【好吧，显然我还自我觉得这个挺好的，改成Ultimately吧】 , since I am very good at this subject, I am capable of providingmy friend with the same academic contribution*****（这里是不是少了点什么，读起来好奇怪）【+to dealwith these problems】 the same as aprofessional tutor. Hence, my friend needs（friends or needs）not worry about I could not like a professionaltutor assist him or her to cope with these problems.
In brief, since I am available in above-mentionedaspects, how come I agree with that my friend should ask help from a professionaltutor as opposed to me when she orhe has problems in learning a certain subject?（结尾还是用一个陈述句表达更好一些，起码ETS更接受）【恩恩 I stronglyagree with the statement that my friend should ask help from me】
PS：遣词造句能力已经不用多说什么了，谋篇布局尽显老辣，范文也就这个水平了，只要在逻辑上面有所加强就好了。
感觉你的文章很流畅，用词也很不错，只是在在论点的提出以及展开上还应该再稍微提高一下，在主体部分每段一个论点，然后最好能够对在提出论点后，对其有一个较深入的、较理论上的解释，最后再加一个例子，或者是自己编一个调查研究也好，这样可能会比较好一些
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-1 16:25
TO ABC：
说来惭愧
额 易雨水巷好吧 打了一个小时，半个小时也打不出这么多字的T.T一起加油吧 现在QQ聊天神马的也都用键盘 希望可以提高打字速度
谢谢帮我修改哦O(∩_∩)O~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-1 21:31
5月1日 111119 NA Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. Some jobs pay few salaries but allow employees staying with family and friend. Which job do you prefer? Why?
It is universally acknowledged that people are trying to have a satisfying job which brings them a high salary and allows them staying with family as well as friend. Nevertheless, just like the saying goes"He who hunts two hares leaves one and loses the other." The consequence frequently turns out be disappointing. A majority are always faced with a dilemma weather they should take a job with a high salary or a job which allows their staying with family and friend. Some may pursue a high salary. However, I prefer to have job which allows me staying with my parents and friends and my reasons are as follows.
To begin with, it will be convenient for me to take care of my parents if a job allows me staying with my parents and friends. As I grows up, my parents gradually become older and they need their considerate daughter to stay with them. They have cultivated me well in the past 22 years. Hence in return, it is high time for me to stay with them and give them my best care both physically and spiritly. As far as I am concerned, a survey in my country revealed 90% old felt lonely without a son or daughter living with them. Since then, I made a determination to accompany my family.
Another benefit I can get from a job which allows me staying with my family and friend is that it will enhance our friendship. I have a deep relationship with my friends. We go shopping together, share the same interests and always be ready to help each other. Under this circumstance, all I want to do is to stay with them and communicate frequently instead of separating from such good friends. As a result, I would like a job allow my staying with my family and friend though it may pays a few money.
Admittedly, a high salary may mean a better standard of living. Nonetheless, from my perspective, a job allowing me staying with my family and friends will meet our basic requirements as well and that is enough because my dream has nothing to do with having a lot of money but live a happy life with my family and friend.
To sum up, in spite of a low salary, I prefer a job allows me staying with family and friend because of my responsibility for taking care of my family and frost my friendship.
作者: stones4 时间: 2012-5-2 13:15
5月1日
111119 NA Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. Some jobs pay few salaries but allow employees staying with family and friend. Which job do you prefer? Why?
It is universally acknowledged that people are trying to have a satisfying job which brings them a high salary and allows them staying with family as well as friend. Nevertheless, just like the saying goes"He who hunts two hares leaves one and loses the other." The consequence frequently turns out be disappointing. A majority are always faced with a dilemma weather they should take a job with a high salary or a job which allows their staying with family and friend. Some may pursue a high salary. However, I prefer to have job which allows me staying with my parents and friends and my reasons are as follows.
开头略长···引用在开头很闪亮，第一句可缩短，最后一句可缩短。Personally speaking，the former option seems to be a better choice.
开头总体很闪亮
To begin with, it will be convenient for me to take care of my parents if a job allows me staying with my parents and friends. As I grows up, my parents gradually become older and they need their considerate daughter to stay with them. They have cultivated me well in the past 22 years. Hence in return, it is high time for me to stay with them and give them my best care both physically and spiritly. As far as I am concerned, a survey in my country revealed 90% old felt lonely without a son or daughter living with them. Since then, I made a determination to accompany my family.这句逻辑是不是有误？改成according to a survey, in my country 90% old people felt lonely without a son or daughter living with them. Thus, I made a determination to accompany my family
Another benefit I can get from a job which allows me staying with my family and friend is that it will enhance our friendship. Stay with family 怎么产生的friendship捏···relationship更好一点I have a deep relationship with my friends. We go shopping together, share the same interests and always be ready to help each other. Under this circumstance, all I want to do is to stay with them and communicate frequently instead of separating from such good friends.整个这一段有点轻微的奇怪it is enjoyable for me to stay with my friends because we can go shopping together，share the same interests and always be ready to help each other. To be honest, I don’t want to lose this happy, stable and committed relationship with them, but instead, to deal with a variety of clients As a result, I would like a job allow my staying with my family and friend though it may pays a few money.
Admittedly, a high salary may mean a better standard of living. Nonetheless, from my perspective, a job allowing我不知道这里是否可以使用ing，你可以无视这个，我语法巨废 me staying with my family and friends will meet our basic requirements as well and that is enough because my dream has nothing to do with having a lot of money but live a happy life with my family and friend.我觉得这段略孱弱，举个例子会更肥满吧，顺便还可以解决字数的问题。
To sum up, in spite of a low salary, I prefer a job allows me staying with family and friend because of my responsibility for taking care of my family and frost my friendship.
结尾干净利落···
总体，语言啊，句子啊，就不说了，不错的文
个人以为，仅供参考
但是改的过程中感觉，文章的development不是很好，这个是草稿纸上的工作···
估计作者是边想边写的，例子，假设，数据，引用名言。后两个做的很好，前面也可以考虑用用。此文407字，字数偏少，正好补充，一举两得
最后，
考试加油！
这里520也要去考试了！
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-2 15:08
确实是边想边写T.T实在木例子,木论点,纠结死了(>.<)晚上回去改,谢谢stones4
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-3 02:27
5月2日
第一次列提纲写 怨念的发现又写了一个小时 %>_<%
20110820 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a company is to spend money on improving skills of its employees.
As the modern society develops, it is more hard for a company to survive in a force competition environment. Under this circumstance, the investment for a company is apparently to be significant. Then a statement comes up to the surface that the most important investment for a company is to spend money on improving its employees’ skills. And I without doubt stand up for this declaration with the following reasons.
To begin with, capable employees will be more likely to create more profits for a company. As everyone knows, a company consists of employees and therefore the employees' ability has a close relationship with the company's development. Generally speaking, employees will be appreciate for the company pay money for their cultivation and are willing to devote themselves to their work. Hence, the company with a capable, grateful and hard-working employees will going to more competitive in the force society in the long run. A good example is not far to seek. Ao Mei a very famous advertisement company, offer frost opportunities every year and in return, its workers try their best to make a brilliant tomorrow for the firm. Taken these profits into consideration, there is no denying that the company is supposed to sponsor the improvement of its employees' skills.
Another reason why I believe that the most important investment is to spend money on improving skills of its employees is that a good boss without an excellent team will not to be successful in the long run. A competitive society strength the team-work and individuals frequently need others' help. So does a company. In other word, only a firm try to enhance its employees’' skills usually can it survives a force environment. For example, Steve Jobs once was a very arrogant person and ignored others' contribution. As a result, the board made a decision to dismiss him. A couple of years past and a new Jobes came back to the Apple Company, who is now a person that attends to his employees. In brief, a successful company needs a boss who takes care of his employees.
Admittedly, employees may take other jobs after they become more competitive. After all, there are so many examples to remind us of this fact. However, it is not always a bad thing that employees change their work. A company should be confident that although these employees may not work for the company, they will also be grateful for the period they spend with the company as well as especially for what they learned from their former jobs. To illustrate, Niu Gensheg, the boss of Meng Niu, worked for another famous milk company, Yi Li. In 1998, Yi Li got into toubles and it is Niu GenSheng that helped Yi Li go through the hard time. Do not worry and just spend money on improving skills of employees.
To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlates with each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more convincing than any single one of them, I may be comfortable to say that I agree that the most important investment for a company is to spend money on improving skills of its employees.
作者: stones4 时间: 2012-5-3 21:43
总结概括句我都用红色钩出来了，不是错误的意思哦~这样方便我们更好的develope
As the modern society develops, it is more hard for a company to survive in a force competition environment. Under this circumstance, the investment for a company is apparently to be significant. Then a statement comes up to the surface that the most important investment for a company is to spend money on improving its employees’ skills. And I without doubt stand up for this declaration with the following reasons.给力的开头！
To begin with, capable employees will be more likely to create more profits for a company. As everyone knows, a company consists of employees and therefore the employees' ability has a close relationship with the company's development. Generally speaking, employees will be appreciate for the company pay money for their cultivation and are willing to devote themselves to their work.和上下句的关系不是很直接的干嚼···Hence, the company with a capable, grateful and hard-working employees will going to more competitive in the force society in the long run. A good example is not far to seek. Ao Mei a very famous advertisement company, offer frost这个词在这里是什么意思opportunities every year什么机会，补充完整一下话不要说一半 and in return, its workers try their best to make a brilliant tomorrow for the firm. Taken these profits into consideration, there is no denying that the company is supposed to sponsor the improvement of its employees' skills.
Another reason why I believe that the most important investment is to spend money on improving skills of its employees is that a good boss without an excellent team will not to be successful in the long run. A competitive society strength the team-work and individuals frequently need others' help. 虽说没什么问题，但是后面这个短句接的略奇怪，语言的平衡感？So does a company. In other word, only a firm try to enhance its employees’ skills usually can it survives a force environment. For example, Steve Jobs once was a very arrogant person and ignored others' contribution. As a result, the board made a decision to dismiss him. A couple of years past and a new Jobs came back to the Apple Company, who is now a person that attends to his employees. In brief, a successful company needs a boss who takes care of his employees.
Admittdly, employees may take other jobs after they become more competitive. After all, there are so many examples to remind us of this fact. However, it is not always a bad thing that employees change their work. A company should be confident that although these employees may not work for the company, they will also be grateful for the period they spend with the company as well as especially for what they learned from their former jobs. To illustrate, Niu Gensheg, the boss of Meng Niu, worked for another famous milk company, Yi Li. In 1998, Yi Li got into toubles and it is Niu GenSheng that helped Yi Li go through the hard time. Do not worry and just spend money on improving skills of employees.这句话好多余···
To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlates with each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more convincing than any single one of them, I may be comfortable to say that I agree that the most important investment for a company is to spend money on improving skills of its employees.
小tips
语法和词汇依旧没什么问题。
大体上是很OK的，比昨天丰满很多，举得例子都很好，BUT
不用每段都举例子的，要详略得当。比如你昨天的数据和句子就用的很好，这个也可以上的啊。有一个小窍门，同样是例子，但是可以写假设和想象的东西，比如imagine that a person what what what，最后加一个总结this case is not rare，in reality，···承上启下接总结
作者本身写作水平还不错的加油哈，
叫我石头就好
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-4 00:12
5月3日09.10.31 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends.
In our life, we may have to move to a certain new place because of education, career and as forth. Some people may feel sad to separate from their old friends. However, from my perspective, in spite of the loss of old friends, it is not always a bad thing to move to a new city or a new country and my reasons are as follows.
To begin with, a new city or a new country enables us to broaden our horizon of the world. A new city or a new country may allow us to experience different culture and divergent traditional festivals. A good example is not far to seek. Last year I left my hometown Shandong Province and moved to Taipei as an exchange student in National Cheng Chi University. One of the impressed phenomena is the night market culture, which is extremely different from my hometown, where we go to bed early and rarely eat roadside snacks at night.
In addition, we can make new friends in a new environment. When moving to a new place, one is supposed to be make friends with the native as opposed to wasting time on missing his or her old friends. New friends will help one to get to know and adopt the new place. These new friends accompany you like your friends as well. Hence, there is no need for us to worry about being lonely in an absolutely new city or a new country.
Admittedly, it is a pity to leave old friends when moving to a new city or a new country. However, departing old friends not means that we lose them. That is to say, we can keep in touch with each other by writing letters, sending e-mails and giving each a call frequently. In brief, with the technology developing fast, there is no obstacle for us to get in touch with our old friends. Furthermore, distance will not fade a real friendship. Under this circumstance, we should be confident in maintaining our relationship with our old friends. For example, Lily and Lucy are good friends, although Lily now in London and Lucy lives in New York.
In conclusion, taken what I mentioned above, I actually disagree with the statement that is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends, because in my opinion, moving to a new city or a new country will give us a chance to learn a different world and we can make new friends as well as keep in touch with our old friends.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-4 00:13
5.3 TPO4
The reading passages presents threes reasons for the dinosaurs were endotherms. Nevertheless, the professor in the lecture asserts that the statement in the reading is not convincing and then contracts it from three aspects.
To begin with, the professor thinks that the dinosaur fossils discovered in polar regions do not prove that polar dinosaurs were endotherms. In light of the lecture, the climate in the polar regions were much warmer than today. At that time, the temperature was suitable for the dinosaur to hibernate. This is one of the points where the listening couts doubt on the reading.
In addition, while the reading expresses that the above positioned legs provides an evidence for dinosaurs were endotherms, the listening clams that the position of the legs may be used to support a large heavy body instead of allowing dinosaurs to run.
Last but not the least, the professor in the listening material disagree that the bone structure serves to prove that dinosaurs were endotherms. From the professor's perspective, there are also growth rings indicates that the animals grow slowly.
作者: maylovehe1 时间: 2012-5-4 13:30
The reading passages presents threes reasons for the dinosaurs were endotherms. Nevertheless, the professor in the lecture asserts that the statement in the reading is not convincing and then contracts it from three aspects.
--> 清晰，明了
To begin with, the professor thinks that the dinosaur fossils discovered in polar regions do not prove（个人认为考虑一下被动，化石在极圈附近被发现不能被认为或者证实．．．） that polar dinosaurs were endotherms. In light of the lecture, the climate in the Polar Regions were much warmer than today. At that time, the temperature was suitable for the dinosaur to hibernate. This is one of the points where the listening couts （counts） doubt on the reading.
--> Ｉthink here we should discuss that if every details should be concluded into paragraph.
In addition, while the reading expresses that the above positioned legs provides an evidence for dinosaurs were endotherms, the listening clams that the position of the legs may be used to support a large heavy body instead of allowing dinosaurs to run. (Should here be mention relations between running and be regarded as such type of animals? Btw, I think you have mentioned the key points here)
Last but not the least, the professor in the listening material disagree(disagrees) that the bone structure serves to prove that dinosaurs were endotherms. From the professor's perspective, there are also growth rings indicates that the animals grow slowly. (as per my understanding, it indicate growth rings which unlike other 哺乳动物, also only if growth happens, can provide consistency of body temperature. Since dinosaurs have this special function, sometimes be wrongly considered as endotherms, actually it is not )
-- > 一句话交待整个教授推倒逻辑似乎有点少，童鞋可以考虑加入一点内容，这样把教授的推导逻辑加入文章当中可能会显得充实一些．
总结：
语法不错，表达清晰简练，让人一目了然
继续加强，可能是多写一点教授得出结论的supporting,会更好些
昨天听得，今天有点忘了内容了，我们再温习一下吧
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-4 20:27
5月4日10.8.28 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status.
Have you ever thought about the reason why you go to work? Some may hold the views that they have jobs to earn a social status. Nevertheless, from my perspective, money is the main purpose for people who have jobs and my reasons are as follows.
To begin with, people with a job earn money to support the family. There is no doubt that money plays a significant role in raising a family. Hence, how can we get the money used for meeting our basic requirements? Of course, the answer is to work. Just like an old Chinese saying goes," No vain, no pain." That is to say, only by working hard can we deal with our basic needs. To illustrate, people will be starved to death, if they do not have a job to attain money. Cultivating a baby motivates parents to find a better job as well. For example, my father used to be a teacher in a primary school with a low salary. He made a determination to step into the economical field when my brother and I were born. If my father did not have a job, my brother and I may drop out of school because of the high education fees.
In addition, generally speaking, if one works hard to earn money, he or she may embrace a more delicate life. I mean that without money, it is difficult for someone to live a better life. A good example is not far to seek. Baggers, who do not have a job, live a bad life. They even beg for a bowl of rice. However, in my opinion, as long as they have a job, let long to have a delicious Chinese food, it is not hard for them to go to the theater to relax.
Admittedly, a good job may bring people a high social status. Nonetheless, from my stand of point, a good job always means a high salary and it is the money earned by working that ensures a high social status instead of the job itself. For instance, Bill Gates deserves a high prestige in modern society, to large part, because he is one of the richest men in the world. Many people want to work for the Software and hence it seems that they be rich the same as Bill Gates.
In a nutshell, taken all I have mentioned above in consideration, I strongly stand up for the statement that money plays a more important role in purposes for people who have jobs than social status.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-4 21:28
TPO4
In lecture, the professor thinks that the three theories about the use of the Chaco "great houses" mentioned in the reading material is all not convincing and gives his reasons in detail.
To begin with, the writer says that one of the theories is that the Chaco great houses were used for people to live. However, in contrast, the professor in the listening holds the views that this theory is not convincing. Although Chaco structures appear similar to the "apartment buildings" in Taos, the inside of the Chaco houses is not suitable for people to live. According to the lecture, if the houses can holds hundreds of people, there will be enough fire place for these people's daily cooking. However, the fire place only can meet 10 family's needs of cooking. And there is not enough room for people to live in these houses.
Secondly, in light of the listening, there is not enough evidence to support the theory that Chaco great houses were used to store maize. Chaco houses not contain maize container and the maize can be stored on the floor. This is where the lecture counts doubt on the reading material.
Last but not the least, the reading expresses that these houses were ceremonial centers because of these broken pots. On the contrary, the listening questions this theory that the broken pots are not good evidence for the statement that Chaco houses are used to celebrate ceremony. It is said in the listening that materials of houses include sand, stone and so on which are far instance form Chaco.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-4 21:30
谢谢石头和maylove
作者: nika1228 时间: 2012-5-5 00:06
5月3日 独立写作修改~~~
真的抱歉，网络一直有问题，登不上CD，发晚了，多多包涵啦，我是抱着学习的态度改水巷的作文的~多数都是建议，不是错误
In our life, we may have to move to a certain new place because of education, career and as forth. Some people may feel sad toseparate from their old friends. However, from my perspective, in spite of the loss of old friends, it is not always a bad thing to move to a new city or a new country and my reasons are as follows.
To begin with, a new city or a new country（新的城市和国家能让我们如何和如何,好像不太恰当，建议moving to a new city or a new country）enables us to broaden our horizon of the world（其实也不算错误，就是总感觉有点不够native,世界的视野？）. A new city or a new country (这里也是啦，主语的问题)may allow us to experience different culture and divergent traditional festivals. A good example is not far to seek（又学到了，比for example生动多了，以后借鉴之）. Last year I left my hometown Shandong Province and moved to Taipei
as an exchange student in National Cheng Chi University. One of the impressed phenomena is the night market culture, which is extremely different from my hometown, where we go to bed early and rarely eat roadside snacks at night.
In addition, we can make new friends in a new environment. When moving to a new place, one is supposed to be make friends with the native as opposed to wasting time on missing his or her old friends.New friends will help one to get to know and adopt (作者是想表达adapt to的意思吧？可以用”fit into” or “be suitable”)the new place. These new friends accompany you like your friends as well. Hence, there is no need for us to worry about being lonely in an absolutely new city or a new country.
Admittedly, it is a pity to leave old friends when moving to a new city or a new country. However, departing old friends not means that we lose them. That is to say, we can keep in touch with each other by writing letters, sending e-mails and giving each a call frequently. In brief, with the technology developing fast, there is no obstacle for us to get in touch with our old friends.
（感觉这句更像是前一句的论点，是不是放在that is to say 前面，逻辑上更合适一点儿）Furthermore, distance will not fade a real friendship. Under this circumstance, we should be confident in maintaining our relationship with our old friends.（个人认为这句可以省略，有点多余，或者可以放到本段最后，来做一个小结。）For example, Lily and Lucy are good friends, although Lily now in London and Lucy lives in New York.（lily & lucy的例子倒是可以具体一些，具体到how they use the current technology to maintaining their distance friendship）
In conclusion, taken what I mentioned above, I actually（这个词还是有点表转折的意思，建议换成totally） disagree with the statement that is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends, because in my opinion, moving to a new city or a new country will give us a chance to learn a different world（culture） and we can make new friends as well as keep in touch with our old friends. (最后一段意思很完整，并且简单概括了三个分论点，很亮！之所以标蓝，是因为我觉得整个一段只用了一句话，有点长，建议稍作修改一下)
Con：
水巷思路清晰，语法、拼写错误均不存在，并且字数绝对的够，都是我要学习的。
建议：1 加强长短句的使用，能使文章读起来更流畅
2 加强同义替换词的使用，比如moving to a new city or a new country这个高频出现的短语，可以换一些同意表达，能够体现作者的词汇量~（其实我做的也不好呢）
一起加油加油~
作者: stones4 时间: 2012-5-5 09:06
5月4日
10.8.28 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status.
Have you ever thought about the reason why you go to work? Some may hold the views that they have jobs to earn a social status. Nevertheless, from my perspective, money is the main purpose for people who have jobs and my reasons are as follows.越来越简明而要了，漂亮。Music君的建议很好啊···
To begin with, people with a job earn money to support the family. There is no doubt that money plays a significant role in raising a family. Hence, how can we get the money used for meeting our basic requirements? Of course, the answer is to work. Just like an old Chinese saying goes," No vainpain, no paingain." That is to say, only by working hard can we deal with our basic needs. To illustrate把这里换成like会漂亮一点因为后面又example了，这里充当的比较小的补充而已, people will be starved to death, if they do not have a job to attain money. Cultivating a baby motivates parents to find a better job as well.这两句话用and连接起来吧For example, my father used to be a teacher in a primary school with a low salary. He made a determination to step into the economicaleconomic field when my brother and I were born. If my father did not have a/change his job, my brother and I may drop out of school because of the high education fees.
In addition, generally speaking, if one works hard to earn money, he or she may embrace a more delicate life. I mean that, without money, it is difficult for someoneone to live a betterjoyful life. A good example is not far to seek. Baggers, who do not have a job, live a bad life. They even beg for a bowl of rice. However, in my opinion, as long as they have a job, let long to have a delicious Chinese food, it is not hard for them to go to the theater to relax. 补充完整一点，生活质量不高
Admittedly, a good job may bring people a high social status. Nonetheless, from my stand of point, a good job always means a high salary and it is the money earned by working that ensures a high social status instead of the job itself. For instance, Bill Gates deserves a high prestige in modern society, to large part, because he is one of the richest men in the world. Many people want to work for the Software and hence it seems that they want to be rich the same as Bill Gates.
In a nutshell, taken all I have mentioned above in consideration, I strongly stand up for the statement that money plays a more important role in purposes for people who have jobs than social status.
相比前几天，漂亮多了
我也要进步！
多余的我就不说了
作者: Herisson0509 时间: 2012-5-5 11:33
In lecture, the professor thinks that the three theories about the use of the Chaco "great houses" mentioned in the reading material is all not convincing and gives his reasons in detail.
To begin with, the writer says that one of the theories is that the Chaco great houses were used for这里加个many people to live. However, in contrast, the professor in the listening holds the views that this theory is not convincing. Although Chaco structures appear similar to the "apartment buildings" in Taos, the inside of the Chaco houses is not suitable for people to live. According to the lecture, if the houses can holds hundreds of people, there will be enough fire place for these people's daily cooking. However, the fire place only can meet 10 family's needs of cooking. And there is not enough room for people to live in these houses.
Secondly, in light of the listening, there is not enough evidence to support the theory that Chaco great houses were used to store maize. Chaco houses not contain maize container and the maize can be stored on the floor. 这句理由表达得不够充分.In fact , the maize are on the floor. There are no traces of maize containers. So, the great houses werenot used for storage.This is where the lecture counts doubt on the reading material.
Last but not the least, the reading expresses that these houses were ceremonial centers because of these broken pots. On the contrary, the listening questions this theory that the broken pots are not good evidence for the statement that Chaco houses are used to celebrate ceremony. It is said in the listening that besides broken pots, materials of houses also include sand, stone and so on which are far instance form Chaco.这段缺少了食物里发现pots那一点。你可以看着听力文本对一下再听一遍试试。
我的建议：水巷可以去找个模版研究研究
听力需加强内容过于少了
再接再励 加油
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-5 21:25
5月5日10.12.3 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own. 这篇感觉直接写崩溃了。。。。。
As far as everyone knows, parents play an important role in educatiing children. Generally speaking, parents are faced with a dilemma wether they should to do a favor to children's work or just leave children to accomplish the work by themselves. People from all walks of life hold different views about this issue. Some may asserts that there is no denying that parents are supposed to give a hand to kids. Nonetheless, form my perspective, children ought to be encouraged to finish their assginment on their own istead of expecting for help from their parents. My statement can be substantiately supported by the following reasons.
To begin with, parents' encouraging kids to do work independently lead them to grow up a more competitive person in an fierce enivironment. That is to say, only an indepent person can surive a competitive society and this independecne can be cultivated by parents' corroct educational approach--encourage kids to do work on their own. To illustrate, a survey revealed that 90% celebreties are successful, which, in a large part, results from the habitate that their parents teached them to finish assignments by themselves when they are children.In brief, if parents want children to outstands from mass competitors, they will encourage children to do work on own as opposed to do a favorl.
Apart from that, another reason why I am back for the claim that parents ought to encourage children to accomplish assinments on own is that children have to learn how to take care of themselves isntead of relying on their parents every time they have an assignment. On one hand, parents will pass away in some day and they can not accompany their children all the time. Hence, children must be encouraged to learn how to do work by themselves or they will be starved to death without their parents by hand. On the other hand, on one would like to make friends with those who even can not attent to themselves. For example, one of my classmate Lily owens few friends since she need someone else to assist her in everthing such as dressing, having a meal and so on.
Admittedly, without the help from parents, children are inclined to make mistakes. However, this evidencr can not be convincing enough to support the idea that parents should help children to do their work. After all, childhood itself is a period of making erroes in our life. The only thing we need to do is to learn from these errors and then to be more ameture. For instance, professor Robert once said in his class, "I made plenty mistakes in my childhood without my parents' help, but it is these erroes that teach me to be careful and avoid the same mistakes in the following days" .
In a nutshell, because of what I have mention above, I disagree the statement that parents should help children to do their work. In verse, in my opinion, parents ought to encourage kids to do the work on their own to grow up to be a competitive and independent person who can take good care of themselves.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-5 21:27
TO NIKA 木有拼写错误的真相是我用word检查了才Po上来的
字数足够的真相是写的时间超了30m 超了 一起加油吧 呵呵
TO 石头 谢谢夸奖我进步了，但我感觉我今天又杯具了
， 人生啊 就不能洗洗变成喜剧么
To 刺猬 听力一直是硬伤啊硬伤
很纠结 继续练了吧 只能
作者: lucystar2012 时间: 2012-5-6 00:07
As far as everyone knows, parents play an important role in educatiing(educating) children. Generally speaking, parents are faced with a dilemma wether(whether) they should to do(do) a favor to children's work or just leave children to accomplish the work by themselves. People from all walks of life hold different views about this issue. Some may asserts(assert) that there is no denying that parents are supposed to give a hand to kids. Nonetheless, form(from) my perspective, children ought to be encouraged to finish their assginment(assignment) on their own istead(instead) of expecting for help from their parents. My statement can be substantiately(substantially) supported by the following reasons.
To begin with, parents' encouraging kids to do work independently lead them to grow up a more competitive person in an fierce enivironment.(Children independently doing their work can put themselves into a fierce environment where they can acquire strong personality.) That is to say, only an indepent(independent) person can surive(survive) a competitive society and this independecne can be cultivated by parents' corroct educational approach--toencourage kids to do work on their own. To illustrateit, a survey revealed that 90% celebreties(celebrities) are successful, which, in a large part, results from the habitate that their parents teached them to finish assignments by themselves when they are children.In brief, if parents want children to outstands(outstand) from mass competitors, they will encourage children to do work on theirown as opposed to do a favorl.
Apart from that, another reason why I am back for the claim that parents ought to encourage children to accomplish assinments on own is that children have to learn how to take care of themselves isntead of relying on their parents every time they have an assignment. On one hand, parents will pass away in some day and they cannot accompany their children all the time. Hence, children must be encouraged to learn how to do work by themselves or they will be starved to death(not live happily)without their parents by hand(in the side). On the other hand, on(删去) one would（wouldn't） like to make friends with those who even can not attent to(attend) themselves. For example, one of my classmate(classmates) Lily owens few friends since she need someone else to assist her in everthing such as dressing, having a meal and so on.
Admittedly, without the help from parents, children are inclined to make(making)mistakes. However, this evidencr cannot be convincing enough to support the idea that parents should help children to do their work. After all, childhood itself is a period of making erroes in our life. The only thing we need to do is to learn from these errors and then to be more ameture. For instance, professor Robert once said in his class, "I made plenty mistakes in my childhood without my parents' help, but it is these erroes that teach me to be careful and avoid the same mistakes in the following days" .
In a nutshell, because of what I have mention(mentioned) above, I disagree the statement that parents should help children to do their work. In verse(On the contrary), in my opinion, parents ought to encourage kids(kid) to do the work on their own to grow up to be(as) a competitive and independent person who can take good care of themselves (himself or herself）.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-6 00:16
我凌乱了 这就是我的错误啊 不检查的直接PO上来的结果
辛苦LUCYSTAR 啦O(∩_∩)O~
作者: lucystar2012 时间: 2012-5-6 15:28
可是你的作文还是很不错的~~只是有些着急的原因吧！ 我昨天是临睡觉前给你改了一下，黄色那句特别长的觉得还是有些别扭，你可以再斟酌一下~~
As far as everyone knows, parents play an important role in educatiing(educating) children. Generally speaking, parents are faced with a dilemma wether(whether) they should to do(do) a favor to children's work or just leave children to accomplish the work by themselves. People from all walks of life hold different views about this issue. Some may asserts(assert) that there is no denying that parents are supposed to give a hand to kids. Nonetheless, form(from) my perspective, children ought to be encouraged to finish their assginment(assignment) on their own istead(instead) of expecting for help from their parents. My statement can be substantiately(substantially) supported by the following reasons.
To begin with, parents' encouraging kids to do work independently lead them to grow up a more competitive person in an fierce enivironment.(Children independently doing their work can put themselves into a fierce environment where they can acquire strong personality.) That is to say, only an indepent(independent) person can surive(survive) a competitive society and this independecne can be cultivated by parents' corroct educational approach--toencourage kids to do work on their own. To illustrateit, a survey revealed that 90% celebreties(celebrities) are successful, which, in a large part, results from the habitate that their parents teached them to finish assignments by themselves when they are children.In brief, if parents want children to outstands(outstand) from mass competitors, they will encourage children to do work on theirown as opposed to do a favorl.
Apart from that, another reason why I am back for the claim that parents ought to encourage children to accomplish assinments on own is that children have to learn how to take care of themselves isntead of relying on their parents every time they have an assignment. On one hand, parents will pass away in some day and they cannot accompany their children all the time. Hence, children must be encouraged to learn how to do work by themselves or they will be starved to death(not live happily)without their parents by hand(in the side). On the other hand, on(删去) one would（wouldn't） like to make friends with those who even can not attent tothemselves. For example, one of my classmate(classmates) Lily owens few friends since she need someone else to assist her in everthing（many trivial matters） such as dressing, having a meal and so on.
Admittedly, without the help from parents, children are inclined to make(making)mistakes. However, this evidencr cannot be convincing enough to support the idea that parents should help children to do their work. After all, childhood itself is a period of making erroes in our life. The only thing we need to do is to learn from these errors and then to be more ameture. For instance, professor Robert once said in his class, "I made plenty mistakes in my childhood without my parents' help, but it is these erroes that teach me to be careful and avoid the same mistakes in the following days" .
In a nutshell, because of what I have mention(mentioned) above, I disagree the statement that parents should help children to do their work. In verse(On the contrary), in my opinion, parents ought to encourage kids(kid) to do the work on their own to grow up to be(as) a competitive and independent person who can take good care of themselves (himself or herself）
黄色就是基本单词错误以及句子错误，红色是语法上有问题，还有就是我改的一些。蓝色是我认为非常好的部分。
我第一次看别人的文章，觉得整体论述很好，正反都有。不过我想建议一下结构上，是否可以把第三段置于第二段前面一下，就是先基本独立到人际关系再到事业成功，前两者可以看做是最后一个的基础嘛~~嘿嘿。
加油！
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-6 21:01
5.5 TPO6
In the reading, the writer contends online encyclopedias are less valuable than traditional encyclopedias with a couple of problems. However, in the lecture, the professor lends little credible supports for the statement.
To start with, it is said in the listening that it is a far critic that the online encyclopedias have errors. The tradition is not perfectly accurate. When the errors in the traditional encyclopedia may remain for decades, the online one can be corrected. This is the first point where the listening, on the contrary, conflicts with the reading.
Furthermore, another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading by stating two strategies to resist hackers. Firstly, the online encyclopedia puts the entry in a read-only format. Secondly, there are special editors be a monitor and eliminate malicious changes to guarantee the online encyclopedia accurate. The reading, in contrast, holds an absolutely view about this point.
Finally, the lecturer points out that space is not an issue for online encyclopedia which indicates the reading proposing that online encyclopedia may do harm to users is dubious on the basis of the lecture. In light of the professor, the online encyclopedia actually reflects a various interests. This point, therefore, straightforwardly challenges what the passage shows.
Accordingly, the listening opposes the reading, it demonstrates the theory of the reading is open to doubt.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-6 22:01
5.6 TPO7
To begin with, the reading expresses that American consumers grant little trust to such a massive advertisement. However, on the contrary, the listening asserts that American do not treat all advertisement the same. Distinct clams made by the products on their own or a ecocertification from an international agency play an important role in consumers' attitudes. Ecocertification made by international agencies is more reliable and consumers react favorable because their trust worths.
In addition, the professor declares that although people all cares about prices. Nonetheless, a study reveals that the price becomes the key factor only when one's price is much high. If the price differenct is limitted to less 5%, consumers are inclined to purchase a more reliable product with a ecocertification. This is another point where the listening casts doubt on the reading.
Ultimately, the reading says that the statement that the cerfification is just useful for outported products. In contrast, the lecture contracts this declaration by stating that this ecocertification is used for a competition for products compared with imported products. If one products are introduced in America, they may sweep through the state.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-6 22:02
晓得嘞。 明天改 再次感谢lucystar2012 祝福你首战120+ O(∩_∩)O~
作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-5-7 19:07
TPO7 综合
红色为错误，蓝色为疑惑建议，高亮为精彩！
强烈建议加一个有气势的开头统领全文让ETS评分的笨大叔们一眼就知道reading和listening讲的都是神马内容以及你这篇美文的中心思想。
To begin with, the reading expresses that American consumers grant little trust to such a massive advertisement. However, on the contrary, the listening asserts that American do not treat all advertisement the same. Distinct clams(claims?) made by the products on their own or a(n) ecocertification from an international agency play(s) an important role in consumers' attitudes. Ecocertification made by international agencies is more reliable and consumers react favorable because their trust worths(建议because it is trustworthy).
In addition, the professor declares that although people all cares about prices(句子不够完整). Nonetheless, a study reveals that the price becomes the key factor only when one's price is much high. If the price differenct(笔误啦~difference) is limitted(limited...我居然也一直以为双写t!!!!)to less(than) 5%, consumers are inclined to purchase a more reliable product with a(n)ecocertification. This is another point where the listening casts doubt on the reading.(我觉得还要写出一个点来就是认证了和没有认证的木材的价格差距正好处于5%以内。所以巴拉巴拉……)
Ultimately, the reading says that the statement that the cerfification is just useful for outported(exporting) products. In contrast, the lecture contracts this declaration by stating that this ecocertification is used for a competition for products compared with imported products. If one products are introduced in America, they may sweep through the state. (这一段的听力内容出现了一点偏差，应该是“如果美国的公司没有及时地抓住消费者，那么当国外的公司提供美国所没有的环保产品，他们可以很快递占领美国市场。”)
In General，易雨水巷的文笔很棒棒~遣词造句很有水平~唯一的就是听力内容再精细点就更好啦，加油↖(^ω^)↗。
作者: lucystar2012 时间: 2012-5-7 22:46
In the reading, the writer contends online encyclopedias are less valuable than traditional encyclopedias with a couple of problems. However, in the lecture, the professor lends little credible supports for the statement.
To start with, it is said in the listening that it is a far critic that the online encyclopedias have errors. The tradition is not perfectly accurate. When the errors in the traditional encyclopedia may remain for decades, the online one can be corrected（as soon as finding any mistakes）. This is the first point where the listening, on the contrary, conflicts with the reading.
Furthermore, another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading（that anyone can revise any messages as they want） by stating two strategies to resist hackers. Firstly, the online encyclopedia puts the entry in a read-only format. Secondly, there are special editors be a monitor and eliminate malicious changes to guarantee the online encyclopedia accurate. The reading, in contrast, holds an absolutely view about this point.
Finally, the lecturer points out that space is not an issue for online encyclopedia which indicates the reading proposing that online encyclopedia may do harm to users(confuse people about what is important among massive information) is dubious on the basis of the lecture. In light of the professor, the online encyclopedia actually reflects a various interests(the most popular interests among people from more broaden horizon). This point, therefore, straightforwardly challenges what the passage shows
Accordingly, the listening opposes the reading, it demonstrates the theory of the reading is open to doubt
总体来看，三个点都指出来了，缺点是第三点表述不够明确。
不好意思，我拖沓了这么久给你回复~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-8 12:46
TO 晨依 我发现我忘了把TPO7的开头贴上来==！ 不过，我听力是个严重的障碍啊啊啊，马上就要考了，还是这样，怎么都感觉不出来进步T.T
TO luckstart 没关系的 改了就好 呵呵
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-8 12:46
5.7
Tpo8
The listening together with the reading both talked about the accuracy of the memoir. The reading material criticizes this claim that the Chevalier lives a more exciting as well as glamorous life because of the memoir from three aspects. However, in contrast, the professor asserts that the memoir was accurate overall instead of in detail and reliable resources can support his opinion.
To start with, the first point about where the listening conflicts with the reading is about Chevalier’s loaning money. In light of the professor, loaning money does not mean Chevalier being poor. Chevalier had to sell his events first to get money and hence he must borrow money before he was waiting his money in return.
What is more, the professor casts doubt on the writer’s opinion by expressing that conversations can not be recorded accurately by memoir. For the professor’s perspective, Chevalier wrote down every sentence in the particular conversation accurately. Besides, the records in his late life confirm his consult with Voltaire.
Ultimately, the debate is something about Chevalier’s escaping from a prison. The reading asserts that there was a bribe to release him. Nevertheless, the professor declares that since the rule is so more powerful than others. Hardly could Chevalier be freed due to a bribe. Evidence can be found in old governmental documents. In addition, the ceiling was repaired.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-8 14:35
5.8 TPO9
The reading material expresses thres advantages of fuel-cell engines over internal-combustion engine. Nonetheless, in the listening, the professor holds a different view and thinks that fuel-cell engines are not solutions to problems which are caused by internal-combustion and gives evidence to support her statement in detail.
First of all, the professor contradicts the statement in the reading material that the fuel-cell engine becomes popular because it is a sort of available as well as renewable resources. She views that the reource can not be used directly. The temperature is very cold ,which is minus 253 degrees. Under this circumstance, hydrogen is not pure liquid straight.
Furthermore, another point where the listening conflicts with the reading is that the professors believes that the pollution problems would not be solved by fuel cells. In light of the listening passage, fuel cells are deprived from burning coal as well as oil and this process without question will emit a lot of pollution. Thus, fuel-cell engines lead to pollution problems as well.
Last but not the least, the writer says that the fuel-cell engines is both economical and efficient. However, on the contrary, from the professor's perspective, it is vey expensive for manufactories to manufacture fuel-cell engines. Therefore, the fuel-cell is really expensive. What is more, the experiments is so far unsuccessful.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-8 21:08
5.8
11.9.16 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.
Recently, there is a heat dicussion about wether or not children should take the same vocation as their parents. People from divergent backgrounds hold different attitudes towards this issue. Some asserts that it is not good for children to pick the same job as their parents. Nonotheless, on contrast, from my perspective, I do stands up for the statement that children are supposed to have the same career as their parents. The following reasons can serve as adequate eviedence.
To begin with, parents will do a favor to children's career if both parents and children work in the same flied. After all, after having worked for many years, parents accumulates such a massive relationships who may do good to help their children to develop well. On the other hand, parents are so experienced in their career that they are capable enough to grant some positive advice to their children who have the same career. A good example can be found in this case. My friend, Lucy, steps into law field and her father is a lawer. When she was a graduate, thanks to her father's assistance, she got a very precise opportunity to intership in LC Company, a famous law company in my country.
In addition, children will have more common topics if they have the same career. With the society developing fast, a big gap appears between children and parents. However, this problem may be solved if children choose the same flied witht their parents. Becasue, parents togther with children will coummunitcate frequently. That is to say, common topics builds a commucation bridge over the generation gap. To illustrate, my cousin, Tim, was once engaged in his own business and leave his parents alone. It seems that the familes are strangers. Nevertheless, when Tim takes his job as the same as my aunt. They began to get to know each ohter and communicate more frequently than before.
Admittedly, some people argues that children may have an distinct interest from their parents and they ought to choose to their career on their own instead of just following their parents's steps. However, in contrast, I lend a little credible on the statement because of two reaons. First of all, interests can be cultivated. I mean that children can form an interest in their vocation which is the same with their parents. What is more, parent's company should be successed by their children. For example, John works as an ordinary worker in his mother's company and he will heritages his mother's job to be a manager one day.
To sum up, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I am back up the declaration that children are surpossed to share the same vocation with their parents due to the help from their parents as well as the common topics contributing to communication.
作者: 夏雨霏霏 时间: 2012-5-8 22:51
The listening together with the reading both talked about the accuracy of the memoir. The reading material criticizes this claim that the Chevalier lives a more exciting as well as glamorous life because of the memoir from three aspects. However, in contrast, the professor asserts that the memoir was accurate overall instead of in detail and reliable resources can support his opinion.
To start with, the first point about where the listening conflicts with the reading is about Chevalier’s loaning money. In light of the professor, loaning money does not mean Chevalier being poor. Chevalier had to sell his events first to get money and hence he must borrow money before he was waiting his money in return.
What is more, the professor casts doubt on the writer’s opinion by expressing that conversations can not be recorded accurately by memoir. For the professor’s perspective, Chevalier wrote down every sentence in the particular conversation accurately. Besides, the records in his late life confirm his consult with Voltaire.
Ultimately, the debate is something about Chevalier’s escaping from a prison. The reading asserts that there was a bribe to release him. Nevertheless, the professor declares that since the rule is so more powerful than others. Hardly could Chevalier be freed due to a bribe. Evidence can be found in old governmental documents. In addition, the ceiling was repaired
语法什么的没有问题，我觉得主要是细节不够，而且第一段过长
作者: 喵喵了个咪 时间: 2012-5-9 11:59
改5.8
11.9.16 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.
Recently, there is a heat dicussion(拼写错误，没有这种说法。换成hot issue) about wether(whether) or not children should take the same vocation as their parents. People from divergent backgrounds hold different attitudes towards this issue. Some asserts that it is not good for children to pick the same job as their parents. Nonotheless(nonetheless), on contrast(重复), from my perspective, I do stands up for the statement that children are supposed to have the same career as their parents. The following reasons can serve as adequate eviedence(evidence).
To begin with, parents will do a favor to children's career if both parents and children work in the same flied(field). After all, after having worked for many years, parents accumulates such a massive relationships who(which) may do good to help their children to develop well. On the other hand, parents are so experienced in their career that they are capable enough to grant some positive advice to their children who have the same career. A good example can be found in this case. My friend, Lucy, steps into law field and her father is a lawer. When she was a graduate, thanks to her father's assistance, she got a very precise opportunity to intership(intern) in LC Company, a famous law company in my country.
In addition, children(family menbers) will have more common topics if they have the same career. With the society developing fast, a big gap appears between children and parents. However, this problem may be solved if children choose the same flied witht(with) their parents. Becasue(Because), parents togther with children will coummunitcate(communicate) frequently. That is to say, common topics builds a commucation(communicative) bridge over the generation gap. To illustrate, my cousin, Tim, was once engaged in his own business and leave his parents alone. It seems that the familes(families) are strangers. Nevertheless, when Tim takes his job as the same as my aunt.(不是一句话，用逗号) They began to get to know each ohter(other) and communicate more frequently than before.
Admittedly, some people argues that children may have an distinct interest from their parents and they ought to choose to their career on their own instead of just following their parents's steps. However, in contrast, I lend a little credible on the statement because of two reaons(reason). First of all, interests can be cultivated. I mean that children can form an interest in their vocation which is the same with their parents. What is more, parent's company should be successes(succeeded) by their children. For example, John works as an ordinary worker in his mother's company and he will heritages(inherit) his mother's job to be a manager one day.
To sum up, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I am back up the declaration that children are surpossed(surpassed) to share the same vocation with their parents due to the help from their parents as well as the common topics contributing to communication.
错别字太多了，一定要认真！改下来只对你的错别字印象比较深刻了。。。。
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-5-9 21:03
5.8 综合 婷婷改的综合就贴在这里了~
5.8 TPO9
The reading material expresses thres(three) advantages of fuel-cell engines over internal-combustion engine. Nonetheless, in the listening, the professor holds a different view and thinks that fuel-cell engines are not solutions to problems which are caused by internal-combustion and gives evidences to support her statement in detail.（一句话里面还是不要接连出现三个动词，让人hold不住，建议水巷可以用长短句交错写eg: However, the professor holds an opposite view and he thinks that fuel-cell engines are not solutions. Then, he gives evidences as follows.）
First of all, the professor contradicts the statement in the reading material that the fuel-cell engine becomes popular because it is a sort of available as well as renewable resources. She views that the reource(resource)can not be used directly. The temperature is very cold ,which is minus 253 degrees. Under this circumstance, hydrogen is not pure liquid straight（state听错了吧）.（这里强调一下cannot be easily produced and stored.）
Furthermore, another point where the listening conflicts with the reading is that the professors believes that the pollution problems would not be solved by fuel cells. In light of the listening passage, fuel cells are deprived from(the energy of )burning coal as well as oil and this process without question will emit(这个词真好,还可以用release，婷婷当时就写了create，感觉没有突出重点) a lot of(air )pollution. Thus, fuel-cell engines lead to pollution problems as well.
Last but not the least, the writer says that the fuel-cell engines is(are)both economical and efficient. However, on the contrary, from the professor's perspective, it is vey（very） expensive for manufactories to manufacture fuel-cell engines. Therefore, the fuel-cell is really expensive. What is more, the experiments is so far unsuccessful.
Conclusion:
1.水巷这篇综合错的词不多哈，恭喜啦，这个就不会影响得分的
2.细节都到位
2.要注意单复数的书写，这点婷婷也要重点注意一下~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-10 17:51
TPO11
The reading and the listening material both talk about modern people read less literature. The reading material asserts that read less literature is a trouble, while the professor in the listening material holds a definitely opinion. Besides, the professor also gives three concrete reasons.
To begin with, in light of the professor, the statement declaraed by the writer is really wrong that literature is the best intellectual stimulation. There are many modern cultures with a high quantity which are created to situmulate people's intelligence such as science writing, history and so on.
In addition, the professor expresses that reading less culture does not mean a culture decline. Watching music as well as movies is not a waste of time on low culture. What is more, it is not being created under a low culture standard. Modern culture has changed poems, novels and so on. This is another point where the listening casts doubts on the reading.
Last but the least, the writer holds the view that good writers today lack audiences. However, the professor disagrees with this idea. From her perspective, modern culture are more direct than literature does. People should not be too critical and in fact, more modern culture are difficult to understand.
To sum up, the professor opposes the writer from three aspects.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-10 17:51
谢谢婷婷了 么个
作者: jasonma2046 时间: 2012-5-11 16:55
祝水巷考出好成绩！呵呵！
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-11 23:20
祝水巷考出好成绩！呵呵！
-- by 会员 jasonma2046 (2012/5/11 16:55:43)
O(∩_∩)O谢谢 尽力啦
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-12 18:18
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-13 16:11
先补上5.12的综合 一会儿去写5.12的独立要写完了给人家改哇~~~~(>_<)~~~~
TPO12
The reading material talks about that Jane Austen is the subject of a professional painting from three aspects. However, in the listening, the professor thinks the statement in the reading is not at all convincing. And he gives his reasons in detail.
First of all, the reading asserts that the Austen's family's approve of the usage the painting is one of the evidences. Nevertheless, the professor demurs to this assertion. He believes if it was really like what said in the reading, Austen would have been died for 70years.This is the first point where the listening contradicts the reading.
In addition, the narroator in the listens refutes the author's view and declares that the protrait can resembles teenagers in Austen's family. There is no enough evidence indicates that it is Austen instead of a nice of her.
Thirdly, in light of the listening, in fact, only the styles matches with the date and the rest is late. At that time, Austin was 27 years old as opposed to a teenage in the painting. This is the last point where the listening is different from the reading.
In conclusion, the listening casts doubt on the reading, which indicates the reading is open to doubt.
作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-5-13 18:55
The reading material talks about that Jane Austen is the subject of a professional painting from three aspects. However, in the listening, the professor thinks the statement in the reading is not at all convincing. And he gives his reasons in detail.
First of all, the reading asserts that the Austen's family's approve of the usage of the painting is one of the evidences. Nevertheless, the professor demurs to this assertion. He believes if it was really like what was said in the reading, Austen would have been died for 70years at that time and thus none of her family members actually saw her. So it is impossible for them to make sure that the girl in the painting was just Austen. This is the first point where the listening contradicts the reading.
In addition, the narroator in the listens refutes the author's view and declares that the protrait can resembles teenagers in Austen's family. There is no enough evidence indicates that it is Austen instead of a nice of her.[建议再听一下，这一段内容偏少~~~ 偶觉得这段有两个点要说明：1.她们家人很多，所以有可能是她亲戚的；2.many experts believe that。。。。。。。]
Thirdly, in light of the listening, in fact, only the styles matches with the date and the rest is late(额？鹤鹤表示没看懂。。。). At that time(when Legg started selling canvases), Austin was 27 years old, which is just opposed to a teenage in the painting. This is the last point where the listening is different from the reading.
In conclusion, the listening casts doubt on the reading, which indicates the reading is open to doubt(连着两个doubt排排站~~有点小重复了哦~~).
总的来说还是不错滴~~不过这篇文章第二个点的听力可能把握的不是很完美哈~~~ 建议对照着听力部分的原文再重新思考一下下哈~~~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-13 20:13
5月12日 先自己把拼写错误用word 给改了改10.2.13 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed working in teams.
Faced with criticism, what will you do? Acceptit? Ignore it or be angry? People from divergent backgrounds may hold differentviews about this issue. Someone regard criticism as a hostile and even losetheir temperature sometime. However, from my perspective, one is supposed to betolerated with criticism and hence correct their defects, since team work playsa significant role in a competitive society.
To begin with, one's not accepting criticism does harm to his or her relationships.That is to say, people hardly want to make acquaintance with those who even cannot tolerate criticism let alone to work together with them. A good example canbe found in this case. Lucy is so arrogant and self-centered that few in myclass expect to be divided into one group with her. Once, Lucy together with mewas asked to do a chemical experiment. She added the carbon dioxide into the containerin spite of my suggestion. What is wore, although the result turned out thatshe was total wrong, she did not to listen my criticism and even ascribes theresult to my fault. Ultimately, I accomplished the experiment by myself.
In addition, learning from criticism can help you be more excellent. Generally speaking,criticism results from our faults or weakness. It is learn from criticism thatwe are supposed to that really matters. This process can help us to makeprogress. Jobs is one of the best examples. As far as I am concerned, Jobs wasonce dismissed by the Apple board because he always ignored others’ advice.Nevertheless, after this lesson, Jobs were respected by everyone in his companyand succeed working with his colleagues to design a series of excellentproductions such as iphone, ipad and so on. This alls can be owned to hiscorrect attitudes towards criticism.
Admittedly, some criticism may be ridiculous. For instance, Lily is aconsiderate volunteer but one of her friends criticize that it is a waste oftime to take care of the old in house school. Of course, criticism like thisshould not be taken into account. In other word, we ought to tell the criticismand accept the useful one and meanwhile derive the entirely wrong one.
To sum up, since accepting criticism can benefits a lot especially when workingin teams, why do we still be criticized to criticism?
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-13 20:20
TO 鹤鹤，
thx for 鹤鹤批改了 我再听几遍再改改
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-13 21:31
5月13日 揉脸 拼写错误依旧很多额哭哭 自己先改了 11.12.9 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life.
（补充：觉得更准确的表述是 Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.）
How are you doing? Faced with such a question,what is your answer? If everything goes well with you, your sense of happinesscomes from your job or your social life? In my opinion, social life mattersmore than the jobs when it comes to happiness. My standpoint can be substantiallyback up by the following reasons.
First and foremost, generally speaking, arich social life means a good time spent with family or friends. One will hardly feel lonely with an abundantsocial life. A recent research conducted by Psychology Research Center revealsthat those who usually go shopping with their intimate friends, attend a partyor just have a picnic with their family is more happier than those who not.
Besides, one’s job maybe not his or herinterests, which can throw one into a unhappy situation and one can resume bylive a happy social life. In other word, one probably takes a job just due tothe reality that he or she has to make a living. Under this circumstance,people hardly feel satisfying and they often release themselves through socialactivities. A good example is not far to seek. My cousin, Robert works for achemical company to support his family. Sometimes, he was so tired withconsulting with the customers and got into a blue mood. In this case, he wouldlike to relax himself with his family or friends. For instance, he may accompanyhis wife to attend a party or playing basketball with his friends. That is tosay, his rich social life get him out of bad emotion and feel happy again.
Admittedly, one may feel good when he orshe perfectly accomplish an difficult assignment. Nevertheless, this is not anenough evidence for the statement that a job could put more influence on one'shappiness than a social life. I mean that, this phenomenon can only indicatethat a job can bring happiness sometimes. The foundation factors of happinessare more closely associated with social lives. A figure according to a researchcarried out by Perking University says that in term of the key factor ofhappiness, 70% picks out social life as their selection, whereas, only 5%asserts that vocation is the point.
In a nut shell, taken what I have mentionedinto account, we can easily conclude that a social life have more impacts onhappiness rather than a job.
作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-14 12:40
揉脸 拼写错误依旧很多额哭哭 自己先改了 11.12.9 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life.
（补充：觉得更准确的表述是 Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.）
How are you doing? Faced with such a question,what is your answer? If everything goes well with you, your sense of happiness comes from your job or your social life? In my opinion, social life matters more than the jobs when it comes to happiness. My standpoint can be substantially back up by the following reasons.
First and foremost, generally speaking, a rich social life means a good time spent with family or friends. One will hardly feel lonely with an abundant social life.(前面这两句话建议用联词连接) A recent research conducted by Psychology Research Center reveals that those who usually go shopping with their intimate friends, attend a party or just have a picnic with their family is are more happier than those who do not.
Besides, one’s job maybe not his or her interests, which can throw one into an unhappy situation and(这里感觉转折关系的联词更恰当) one can resume by living a happy social life. In other word, one probably takes a job just due to the reality that he or she has to make a living.(张红岩那本书上说是尽量避免he or she,用they更好一点) Under this circumstance,people hardly feel satisfying and they often release themselves through social activities. A good example is not far to seek. My cousin, Robert works for a chemical company to support his family. Sometimes,he was so tired with of consulting with the customers and that(用so...that的结构) got into a blue mood. In this case, he would like to relax himself with his family or friends. For instance, he may accompany his wife to attend a party or playing play basketball with his friends. That is to say, his rich social life get make him get out of bad emotion and feel happy again.
Admittedly, one may feel good when he or she perfectly accomplish an difficult assignment. Nevertheless, this is not an enoughpersuadable evidence for the statement that a job could put more influence on one's happiness than a social life. I mean that,(感觉这个that在这像个不完整的句子，而且that套that有点混乱呢) this phenomenon can only indicate that a job can bring happiness sometimes. Thefoundation basic factors of happiness are more closely associated with social lives. A figure according to a research carried out by Perking University says that in term of the key factor of happiness, 70% picks out social life as their selection, whereas, only 5%asserts that vocation is the point.
In a nut shell, taken taking what I have mentioned into account, we can easily conclude that a social life have more impacts on happinessrather than a job.
Conclusion:
总体来说结构什么都很不错。
注意小错误啊亲，单复数，a/an的问题。
可以适当丰富用词吖嘿嘿。
作者: 探险者 时间: 2012-5-14 19:36
标题: BY 探险者 5.12独立修改
5月12日10.2.13 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed working in teams.
Faced with criticism, what will you do ? Accept it? Ignore it or be angry? People from divergent backgrounds may hold different views about this issue. Someone regard(regards) criticism as an hostile and even lose their temperature(temper,脾气)sometime（sometimes是有时。Sometime是将来的某个时刻，应该不合适吧）. However, from my perspective, one is supposed to be tolerated with（觉得这里直接用tolerate就行）criticism and hence correct their defects, since team work plays an significant role in a competitive society.
To begin with, one's not accepting（好别扭啊，建议：rejecting criticism）criticism does harm to his or her relationships. That is to say, people hardly want to make acquaintance with those who even can not tolerate criticism， let alone to work together with them. A good example can be find（found，被动语态） in this case. Lucy is so arrogant and self-centered that few in my class expects to be divided into one（the same） group with her. Once, Lucy together with me was asked to do an chemical experiment. She added the carbon dioxide into the container in spite of my suggestion. What is wore（worse）, although the result turned out that she was total（totally） wrong, she did notto listen （to）my criticism and even ascribes（时态前后不一致，ascribed） the result to my fault. Ultimately, I accomplished the experiment by myself.
（觉得这个例子中的加入carbon dioxide一处过具体，可以说成她不听你的建议进行操作，导致了wrongdoing）
In addition, learning from criticism can help you be more excellant. Generally speaking, criticism results from our faults or weakness. It is learn（做主语，用learning。）from criticism that we are supposed to that really matters. This process can help us to make progress. Jobs（建议Steve Jobs，否则可能有误解） is one of the best examples. As far as I am concerned, Jobs was once dismissed by the Apple board because he always ignored other’s advice. Nevertheless, after this lesson, Jobs were respected by everyone in his company and succeed（succeeded in）working with his colleagues to design a series excellent productions（products） such as iphone, ipad and so on.（为什么乔布斯由于无视他人建议被开除后，反而受到everyone的尊重？）This alls（？？） can be owned to his correct attitudes towards criticism.
Admittedly, some criticism（criticisms） may be ridiculous. For instance, Lily is a considerate volunteer but one of her friends criticize（criticizes） that it is a waste of time to take care of the old in house school. Of course, criticism like this should not be take（taken） into account. In other word, we ought to tell the criticism and accept the useful one and meanwhile derive the entirely wrong one.
To sum up, since accepting criticism can benefits（benefit） a lot especially when working in teams, why do we still be criticized to（不太理解）criticism?
1.楼主，一定要注意拼写问题啊，打字要多练练手，在写的过程中对拼写就多用些心，否则这样的错误太多也会影响评分的。几个单词在这里标注，就不在文章里改了：ridiculous，criticism，criticize，different，perspective，experiment，container，arrogant，tolerate，relationship，weakness，generally，speaking，excellent，volunteer，school, acquaintance, hostile。这些都是打字的问题，建议每次都用word检查一下，自己再多练练，尤其是错的词。
2.注意基本的语法：被动语态（过去分词）、时态前后一致、主谓一致、修饰形容词的是副词。
3.很多次在文中重复，比如criticism，可以替换成近义词。可以说成别人的评价等等。
4.建议加强例子的逻辑性，并且和主题的对照程度要加强。逻辑性很好，句式可以多变变。
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-14 22:57
5.14 TPO15
The reading material talks three measures used to prevent cane toads' spread in Australia. However, the professor in the listening passage contradicts the reading and claims these measures are unsuccessful and cause environment damage.
To begin with, the professor explores that the national fence in the reading functions a little. Young cane toads are able to get through the national fence and flow one side to another as a stream. This is a point where the professor refutes the writer.
In addition, the listening casts doubt on the advantage of volunteers. The professor holds a view that these untrained volunteers are likely to destroy toads and it is a danger. Anyway, in light of the lecture, it is difficult for untrained volunteer to gather toad eggs.
Thirdly, the reading asserts the spread of the can toads can be prevented by a disease-causing virus. Nevertheless, on contrary, the speaker asserts that the virus will do harm to Australia's environment. It will destroy the population of cane road. It is a disaster for cane road, one of the native species of Australia.
To sum up, the professor casts doubt on the writer from three aspects. This also indicates what is mentioned in the reading is open to doubt.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-14 23:06
5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.
Undoubtly, honesty is one of the most precious virtues in our society and people are usually inclined to be angry when they found their friends lie to them. In this case, it seems that one is supposed to be honest with friends. Nonetheless, the reality tells us that it is impossible to be entirely honest with friends and my reasons are as follows.
First and foremost, lies not always mean a bad thing. That is to say, in a couple of circumstances, since the truth will put our friends into troubles while a white lie is a sort of good approach to protect our friends, we would better to tell a white lie instead of the harmful truth. Take my own case as an example. Several days ago, Lucy told me a secret and asked me not to tell anyone else. Subsequently, another friend Lily attempted to dig out the secret. I said nothing but it was also a myth to me. In my opinion, in this case, I ought to say a white lie for the sake of keeping Lucy's secret and meanwhile minimizing the influence on my friendship with Lily.
In addition, just as an ancient Chinese saying goes, " Report the good news but not the bad". In other word, faced with problems, people may have that everything is going on well as answer to greeting rather than worrying their friends. An example can be found in this case. Robert once got a serious cold and he just sent me a message saying he had to go to Hawaii for a week to attend his sister's wedding. Actually, I know the fact until he returned to school that he was in hospital. He explained to me that he did so in order to avoid making me worried.
Admittedly, honesty plays an important role in a friendship. Defeat may lead to a friendship breaking up. For example, Amy with Candy used to be intimate friends. However, there is still some cases are out of expectation. One day, Amy found the truth that Candy treated her like a sister is because of her wealthy family. As a result, Amy could not be tolerate with Candy’s defeat and never said a word with Amy since then. Thus, from my perspective, we ought to be honest to cultivate a friendship except for several special situations.
In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, there is no denying I stands up for the assertion that that it is impossible to be absolutely honest with friends. After all, white lies may protect our friends as well as not worry them.
作者: sang824 时间: 2012-5-15 11:13
Undoubtly, honesty is one of the most precious virtues in our society and people are usually inclined to be angry when they found their friends lie to them. In this case, it seems that one is supposed to be honest with friends. Nonetheless, the reality tells us that it is impossible to be entirely honest with friends and my reasons are as follows.
First and foremost, lies not always mean a bad thing. That is to say, in a couple of circumstances, since the truth will put our friends into troubles(put into trouble的搭配感觉不对，可以改成bring sb trouble) while a white lie is a sort of good approach to protect our friends, we would better to tell a white lie instead of the harmful truth. Take my own case as an example. Several days ago, Lucy told me a secret and asked me not to tell anyone else. Subsequently, another friend Lily attempted to dig out the secret. I said nothing but it was also a myth to me.(不太明白，是不是although i knew the truth的意思？) In my opinion, in this case, I ought to say a white lie for the sake of keeping Lucy's secret and meanwhile minimizing the influence on my friendship with Lily.
In addition, just as an ancient Chinese saying goes, " Report the good news but not the bad". In other word, faced with problems, people may have(?) that everything is going on well as answer to greeting rather than worrying their friends.这句话没有看懂... An example can be found in this case. Robert once got a serious cold and he just sent me a message saying that
he had to go to Hawaii for a week to attend his sister's wedding.Actually(这个词用在这里不合适，换成转折意味强一点的however?), I know the fact until he returned to school that he was in hospital(i know the fact about his illness until he retruned school). He explained to me that he did so in order to avoid making me worried.
Admittedly, honesty plays an important role in a friendship. Defeat(Deceit) may lead to a friendship breaking up(lead a friendship to break up). For example, Amy with Candy used to be intimate friends. However, there is are still some cases are out of expectation. One day, Amy found the truth that Candy treated her like a sister isdoes because of her wealthy family. As a result, Amy could not be tolerate with Candy’s defeat(deceit) and never said a word with Amy her since then. Thus, from my perspective, we ought to be honest to cultivate a friendship except for several special situations.
In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, there is no denying I stands up for the assertion that that it is impossible to be absolutely honest with friends. After all, white lies may protect our friends as well as not worry them.
水巷的例子好丰富吖嘿嘿
结构很不错的，短时间能写出来真棒
记得留出时间检查~~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-15 17:07
感谢sang&探险者的修改，
抽出时间来修改O(∩_∩)O~
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-16 07:36
11.2.12 ML Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Now everywhere is so busy and crowded that being polite is unnecessary. 这种题目写起来真纠了个结
With the population increasing, it seems that the society become busy and crowded. Thus, some people may assert that being polite literally is a less essential party compared with other things such as rushing to work, dealing with a difficulty and so forth. Nevertheless, from my perspective, being polite is still required and the following reasons can support my statement.
To begin with, people cannot drop the tradition virtue-courtesy which they in heritage from ancestors. That is to say, courtesy is one of the precious heritages. Forefathers developed this virtue after thousands practice. Being politeness must be so essential that forefathers maintained it. Thus, people ought to pass on this virtue instead of eliminating it. This shows respects for ancestors as well. This is the first reason why I do not agree with the assertion that now everywhere is so busy and crowded that being polite is unnecessary.
What is better, being polite does well to the harmony of the society and contributes to resume order out of chaos. A good example can be sought in this case. Our class once felled into disorder and everyone was busy with their own business and seemed to be strangers between each other. In a word, there is no politeness but chaos. Nonetheless, thanks to our new teacher, Lucy, we could be released from such a disorder world. She said Thank you every time anyone handed in homework. Good morning is what she said the first sentence before she started class on Thursday. Because of her influence, we began to show our politeness to others and our busy senior high life was full filled with sweet memory as opposed to busy and indifferent classmates.
Admittedly, objectors may declare that courtesy is an extravagant hope in such a busy as well as crowed world. Because people are so busy that they cannot squeeze out time to become a polite individual. However, in my opinion, on the contrary, being polite is further necessary under this circumstance. It is never too important to give a greeting. For example, people are supposed to say a good morning, excusing me or even just a hello at any time. Anyway, it just costs several minutes but creates a beautiful world full of politeness.
To sum up, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I can comfortably come to the conclusion that it is still necessary yet everywhere is busy and crowded.
作者: 584257720 时间: 2012-5-16 18:34
标题: TPO15综合的修改
高色高亮是亮点，红色是修改，绿色是个人意见。
The reading material talks (about)three measures used to prevent cane toads' spread in Australia. However, the professor in the listening passage contradicts the reading and claims these measures are unsuccessful and cause environment(al) damage.(观点提取很准确到位~赞一个！)
To begin with, the professor explores(个人感觉explore 怪怪的，用contend吧~) that the national fence in the reading functionsa little（这里强调作用不大，反面语气强调地更多一些，个人认为删掉a可能程度更准确些）. Young cane toads(as well as toad eggs) are able to get through the national fence and flow（travel from） one side to another aswith a stream. This is a point where the professor refutes the writer.
In addition, the listening, casts doubt on the advantage of volunteers(advantage of sb. 容易让人误读为某人的优点，水巷想表达的应是雇佣志愿者所可能带来的实际效果这个意思吧~容我改为：effectiveness if volunteers are employed to capture and destroy cane toads as author mentions in the reading). The professor holds a view that these untrained volunteers are likely to destroy toads and it is a danger（这里可能有些听力点雨巷没有记下来:因当地频临灭绝的frog和toad不好辨认，易误抓）. Although it is possible for volunteers to catch toads, the native, endangered frogs, which resemble toads in appearance, are sometimes caught by mistake.Anyway, in light of the lecture, it is difficult for untrained volunteer to gather toad eggs.(个人觉得听力里面将的是可以抓Toad，但易错抓Frog,删去吧~至于要不要再来一个本段总结，zero认为看时间分配吧~)
（整合下修改后的整段：In addition, the listening, casts doubt on the effectiveness if volunteers are employed to capture and destroy cane toads as author mentions in the reading. Although it is possible for volunteers to catch toads, the native, endangered frogs, which resemble toads in appearance, are sometimes caught by mistake. In this respect, the professor weakens the strength of the second proposal.）
Thirdly, the reading asserts the spread of the can(cane) toads can be prevented by a disease-causing virus. Nevertheless, on contrary,(nevertheless, contrary短语二者选其一，on contrary-> on the contrary) the speaker asserts（assert没问题，但本段开头用了，这就换个词吧~emphasizes）that the virus will do harm to Australia's environment. It will destroy the population of cane road. It is a disaster for cane road, one of the native species of Australia.（这段写的不好，听力点没找准~Zero在听的时候也很迷惘这一段听力，逻辑性比较强。再次解释下：阅读里面提到由于这种依靠病毒防治种群扩张的方法对澳大利亚的除toad以外的动物都没有影响，故阅读认为可防澳洲的toad。听力说道：对澳洲无害，但对美洲有害。这些带菌体可能跟随研究人员或者宠物饲养者去了美洲，而正巧toad是原产美洲的物种，那么美洲当地的toad会被感染，会灭绝，生态会破坏。）
(zero重写了该句，请见谅：Nevertheless, the speaker emphasizes that despite this kind of virus is harmless in Australia, it will destroy toads of America when animals infected by such virus are brought there. Under such circumstance, Central and South America loses its eco-balance.)
To sum up, the professor casts doubt on（同样没问题，但换个词吧challenges） the writer from three aspects. This also(and ) indicates what is mentioned in the reading is open to doubt.
总结：发上来迟了，请见谅哦!
写作问题不大哦，结构都很OK, 主要问题和水巷自己说的一样，是听力啦~不过这个TPO的听力也比较难~多多练习就好起来的`
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-17 07:39
5月16日11.2.26 ML Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people have no influence on the decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.
Recently a public topic has been brought into our eye that weather or not the young impacts the determinations that are closely associated with the future of the world by and large. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes toward this issue. Some thinks that teenagers are too young to influence these determinations. Nevertheless, from my perspective, I definitely fall into the opposite contention that young people in deed plays an important role in determining the future of the society. My statement can be proved by the following reasons.
First and foremost, juveniles are the future of the society and they are supposed to participate in discussions about the society's future. That is to say, youngsters are the host of the society in future. Since that, why do we still close the door on youngsters when determining the society’s future? My country does well in this aspect. Our state advocates that "China will be strong if the young is strong." The government spares no effort to make youngsters be prepared for the future, such as promoting the education, selecting excellent adolescents as represents to attend vital meetings and so forth. Thus, in this way, young people impact a lot the future of my country.
In addition, so creative are young people that they are beneficial for the development of the society. Generally speaking, youngsters come up with novel ideas and bring new vigor and vitality into the world. There is no denying that this is one of the approaches they impacts the world. For instance, World Federation of Democratic Youth found in November, 1945, took the advantage of their wits to unit together and help fight against fascist. Under this circumstance, how come we deny their contributions on safeguarding the world peace?
Admittedly, it seems that literally adolescents are so immature individuals that they are unable to make effects on the society's future. In contrast, in my opinion, youngsters are thoughtful to tell things or events which contribute to the society and which do not. A good example is not far to seek, when the destroying earthquake hit Wenchuan, thousands of young people flood into the stricken area and did everything to rescue regardless of their own lives.
In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stand up for the assertion that adolescents in fact affect the determinations that decides the future of the society more or less.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-17 07:41
TO 5842 谢谢你如此详细的修改哦，收益很大
作者: 蝴蝶渡海 时间: 2012-5-17 18:24
Recently a public topic has been brought into our eye that weather or not(可以将or not 去掉weather已经是是否的意思了加上or not是有点多余的) the young impacts the determinations that are closely associated with the future of the world by and large. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes toward this issue. Some thinks（think） that teenagers are too young to influence these determinations. Nevertheless, from my perspective, I definitely fall into the opposite contention that young people in deed plays（play）an important role in determining the future of the society. My statement can be proved by the following reasons.
First and foremost, juveniles are the future of the society and they are supposed to participate in discussions about the society's future. That is to say, youngsters are the host of the society in future. Since that, why do we still close the door on youngsters when determining the society’s future? My country does well in this aspect. Our state advocates that "China
will be strong if the young is strong." The government spares no effort to make youngsters be（应该去掉be） prepared for the future, such as promoting the education, selecting excellent adolescents as represents to attend vital meetings and so forth. Thus, in this way, young people impact a lot the future of my country.
In addition, so creative are young people that they are beneficial for the development of the society. Generally speaking, youngsters come up with novel ideas and bring new vigor and vitality into the world. There is no denying that this is one of the approaches they impacts the world. For instance, World Federation of Democratic Youth found in November, 1945, took the advantage of their wits to unit together and help（helped） fight against fascist. Under this circumstance, how come（此处是can么？否则有点不太明白） we deny their contributions on safeguarding the world peace?
Admittedly, it seems that literally adolescents are so immature individuals that they are unable to make effects on the society's future. In contrast, in my opinion, youngsters are thoughtful to tell things or events which contribute to the society and which do not（去掉and which do not）. A good example is not far to seek, when the destroying earthquake hit Wenchuan, thousands of young people flood into the stricken area and did everything to rescue regardless of their own lives.
In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stand up for the assertion that adolescents in fact affect the determinations that decides the future of the society more or less.
整体文章思路结构都不错，有些句式也是亮点，值得学习，感觉大的毛病已经没有了，也可能是由于我长时间不写对这些长难句陌生了而没有批改出来。小词组和大量的例子的运用也是文章更有说服力。改掉的不对的地方跟我说一下吧，大家共同进步，加油！
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-17 22:05
5月17日11.5.14 ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.
With the society developing quickly, there are increasing new jobs in contemporary world than in the past. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes towards this phenomenon. Some assert that people in the past are more likely to find a career to ensure a successful future. However, from my perspective, I am favorable of the opposite contention because of the following reasons.
First and foremost, living in a modern society, people have equal right when pursuing a vacation. Or rather, women in the past had no choice but to do housework at home such as cultivation a baby, washing clothes and so on, whereas modern women are released from the traditional doctrine and free to have a work on the basis of capability. What is more, a recent research support this statement as well according to The Career Research Center, which shows that 90% views that they are more likely to have a satisfying jobs than in the past.
In addition, since the government reduces the strict rules, nowadays people owns a more possible chance to indentify which sort of career or job guarantying a secure or successful future. A good example is not far to seek. In the Qing dynasty, because of these rigor rules such as "Ban on foreign trade", merchants hardly survived. Nonetheless, thanks to the reform and opening up，not only merchants are able to make a deal with foreign, but also, people from other walks of life like teachers are permitted to change their jobs and start a company.
Admittedly, the opposed may declare that with ample jobs in front, contemporary human beings are inclined to lose themselves and could not decide to take which type of jobs. Nevertheless, on the contrary, I cast doubts on this assertion due to reasons. First, in he past, the only approach to get a secure future is to spare no efforts to study for decades to attend the civil examination. What is worse, it is extremely possible to let one's pain passed without vain. In contrast, in a modern society, if people are not adept at studying in school, they are allowed to choose to be a computer engineers, racing driver and so forth.
In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stands up for the statement that it is easier for people in the contemporary society to identify which type of vacations would contributes to a brilliant future.
作者: 包子不包子 时间: 2012-5-18 09:20
With the society developing quickly, there are is an increasing number of newjobs in contemporary world than in the past. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes towards this phenomenon. Some assert that people in the past are more likely to find a career to ensure a successful future. However, from my perspective, I am favorable of the opposite contention because of the following reasons. 总是不敢写这样的开头嘞 会影响分数不啊
First and foremost, living in a modern society, people have equal right when pursuing a vacation. Or rather, women in the past had no choice but to do housework at home such as cultivation a baby, washing clothes and so on, whereas modern women are released from the traditional doctrine and free to have a work on the basis of capability. What is more, a recent research support this statement as well according to The Career Research Center, which shows that 90% views that they are more likely to have a satisfying jobs than in the past.
In addition, since the government reduces the strict rules, nowadays people owns a more possible chance to indentify which sort of career or job guarantying a secure or successful future. A good example is not far to seek. In the Qing dynasty, because of these rigor rules such as "Ban on foreign trade", merchants hardly survived. Nonetheless, thanks to the reform and opening up，not only merchants are able to make a deal with foreign, but also, people from other walks of life like teachers are permitted to change their jobs and start a company.
Admittedly, the opposed may declare that with ample jobs in front, contemporary human beings are inclined to lose themselves and could not decide to take which type of jobs. Nevertheless, on the contrary, I cast doubts on this assertion due to reasons. First, in he past, the only approach to get a secure future is to spare no efforts to study for decades to attend the civil examination. What is worse, it is extremely possible to let one's pain passed without vain没看懂啊 嘿嘿. In contrast, in a modern society, if people are not adept at studying in school, they are allowed to choose to be a computer engineers, racing driver and so forth.
In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stands up for the statement that it is easier for people in the contemporary society to identify which type of vacations would contributes to a brilliant future.
没什么大问题啦
例证想得真好 感觉自己写的好生硬 学习学习
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-18 12:06
谢谢蝴蝶渡海和包子
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-5-18 14:50
ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.
楼主的语言真是不错～～自惭形秽～～要向楼主学习～～
但是看到楼主的作文，我觉得楼主似乎有点跑题……
楼主的作文中，第二段写，现代的人有平等的追求工作的权力，第三段写国家政策的改变使人们可以做各种工作。
但是，我觉得，这个题目的重点在于ｉｄｅｎｔｉｆｙ，文章应该重点写，人们在辨别安全、成功工作方面，现在与过去，哪个更容易。
这个，只是我自己的观点，可能也不对。
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-18 16:35
ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.
楼主的语言真是不错～～自惭形秽～～要向楼主学习～～
但是看到楼主的作文，我觉得楼主似乎有点跑题……楼主的作文中，第二段写，现代的人有平等的追求工作的权力，第三段写国家政策的改变使人们可以做各种工作。但是，我觉得，这个题目的重点在于ｉｄｅｎｔｉｆｙ，文章应该重点写，人们在辨别安全、成功工作方面，现在与过去，哪个更容易。这个，只是我自己的观点，可能也不对。
-- by 会员 acrophobiahy (2012/5/18 14:50:26)
其实我也感觉我貌似跑题了 这题目真心不好写%>_<% 谢谢 acropobiahy O(∩_∩)O~ 灰常感谢哦
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-5-18 22:10
不能忍了不能忍了！破图书馆啊，我洋洋洒洒的5.18的独立就这么没了 没了没了啊
5月18日 2010.10.22 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Since the world haschanged so much in the past fifty years, advice our grandparents can give us isnot useful.
As the society developing rapidly, a hot discussioncomes to surface whether suggestions from our grandparents are available.Individuals from divergent backgrounds hold difficult attitudes towards thisissue. As for me, I definitely stands up for the contention that despite the worldhas changed a lot in the past five decades, proposals which our grandparents suggest us are supposed to be takeninto account. My standpoint can besupported by the following reasons.
To begin with, so experienced are ourgrandparents that there is no doubt their suggestions are worthy of considering.That is to say, grandparents have experienced massive events in their lives andas a result, they are capable of doing us a favor to help us deal withproblems. Take my own case as example. I once wanted to break up with my friend,Lucy, since she lost her promise to accompany me to attend an importantinterview. Nevertheless, my grandmother talked about this issue with me andultimately recommended me to find out the reason why Lucy lost her promiseinstead of end this friendship immediately. Otherwise my grandmother’ssuggestion, I would lose a good friend without learning her heavy cold at thattime.
In addition, advice from our grandparents cangrant us like cultivating virtues is confirmed to be extremely useful. For instance,I used to be a girl who spent a lot of money on purchasing fashion clothes. My grandfathersuggested I take the advantage of the money to help the poor or buy books andfoster a Traditional virtue- diligence and thrift. At first， I was confused withthis suggestion. After all, the world has changed in the last fifty decades andin contemporary society, we need not to save money in some extend. However,when I became a volunteer teacher in a distant rural area and witnessed howpoor the village. I was shocked and changed my mind to the point where mygrandfather was right.
Admittedly, some may assert that suggestions fromgrandparents may be out of date. Nevertheless, from my perspective, in spite ofthe world’s changes in the last fifty years, our grandparents witnessed thesechanges as well. In other word, our grandparents have a good knowledge of whatis happening in a modern society and their advice is extremely constructive insome cases. Recently a research revealed that 65% thinks advice from theirgrandparents is useful in most circumstance.
To sum up, taken what I have mentioned above, Ican easily conclude that regardless of that the world have changed so much inthe past five decades, we are supposed to attach importance to our grandparents’proposals.
作者: 包子不包子 时间: 2012-5-19 11:30
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Since the world haschanged so much in the past fifty years, advice our grandparents can give us isnot useful.
As the society developing rapidly, a hot discussioncomes to surface whether suggestions from our grandparents are available 这里应该是useful吧.Individuals from divergent backgrounds hold difficult different?attitudes towards thisissue. As for me, I definitely stands up for the contention that despite the worldhas changed a lot in the past five decades, proposals which our grandparents suggest us怪怪的 用give吧 are supposed to be takeninto account. My standpoint can besupported by the following reasons.
To begin with, so experienced are ourgrandparents that there is no doubt their suggestions are worthy of considering.That is to say, grandparents have experienced massive events in their lives andas a result, they are capable of doing us a favor to help us deal withproblems. Take my own case as example. I once wanted to break up with my friend,Lucy, since she lost her promise to accompany me to attend an importantinterview. Nevertheless, my grandmother talked about this issue with me andultimately recommended me to find out the reason why Lucy lost her promiseinstead of end this friendship immediately. Otherwise my grandmother’ssuggestion, I would lose a good friend without learning her heavy cold at thattime.
In addition, advice from our grandparents cangrant us like cultivating virtues is confirmed to be extremely useful. For instance,I used to be a girl who spent a lot of money on purchasing fashion clothes. My grandfathersuggested I take the advantage of the money to help the poor or buy books andfoster a Traditional virtue- diligence and thrift. At first， I was confused withthis suggestion. After all, the world has changed in the last fifty decades 这个是五百年andin contemporary society, we need not to save money in to some extend extent. However,when I became a volunteer teacher in a distant rural area and witnessed howpoor the village. I was shocked and changed my mind to the point where mygrandfather was right.
Admittedly, some may assert that suggestions fromgrandparents may be out of date. Nevertheless, from my perspective, in spite ofthe world’s changes in the last fifty years, our grandparents witnessed thesechanges as well. In other word, our grandparents have a good knowledge of whatis happening in a modern society and their advice is extremely constructive insome cases. Recently a research revealed that 65% thinks advice from theirgrandparents is useful in most circumstance. 这段感觉还是在重复祖父母有经验的论点
To sum up, taken what I have mentioned above, Ican easily conclude that regardless of that the world have changed so much inthe past five decades, we are supposed to attach importance to our grandparents’proposals.
没有什么大问题啦 感觉首段可以润色一下
作者: cindy52090 时间: 2012-5-27 11:33
已经很强悍了
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-7-21 16:45
2012.7.20
Do you agree or disagree, if you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others you will use email or text messaging or you would like to use telephone or voice messaging?
Have you ever held a different idea with your friend? Have you ever express your view to your professor? Have you ever reject one's invitation? There is no denying that in our life we are often faced with such terrible circumstances. To cope with these issues, some people prefer to consult with others by email or text message while others would like to use telephone or voice message. As for me, I stand up for the later one in view of voice message is instant, more efficient as well as easier.
To begin with, one feature of telephone is its immediacy. That is to say, telephone ensures users receive information on time. Consequently, we will not miss important message when discussing controversial problems. Meanwhile, we are allowed to declare our idea instantly. On the contrary, compared with telephone, email is lagging. On one hand, we cannot check out our email always and everywhere, whereas we can answer a cell phone presently. On the other hand, people probably ignore text message.
In addition, voice message is more effective. It is widely acknowledged that typing costs much more time than speaking. What is worse, text is frequently unable to deliver the true contention. Or rather, the receiver may get the wrong meaning. Take my own case as an example. Once, I wrote to say that I got a cold and wanted to postpone our trip with Lucy. However, she thought it was just an excuse and replied that if I did not want to go trip with her, I need not pretend to be ill. Fortunately, I phoned her. Heard my heavy voice, she knew I really got sick and apologized to me. In a word, telephone and voice message is more efficient than email or text message.
Admittedly, thanks to the advanced technology, many people started using telephone to check out email. Hence it seems that email is a good approach to discuss upsetting problems. Nevertheless, from my perspective, email or text message does harm to our eye. After all, we have to focus on the screen to spell our assertion. Apart from that, people like children, the old as well as illiteracy even are unable to spell a word.
In a nut shell, taken what I have mentioned above carefully into consideration, I go without saying using telephone or voice messaging to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-21 17:42
Have you ever held a different idea with your friend? Have you ever express your view to your professor? Have you ever reject one's invitation? There is no denying that in our life we are often faced with such terrible circumstances. To cope with these issues, some people prefer to consult with others by email or text message while others would like to use telephone or voice message. As for me, I stand up for the later one in view of voice message is instant, more efficient as well as easier.
To begin with, one feature of telephone is its immediacy. That is to say, telephone ensures users receive information on time. Consequently, we will not miss important message when discussing controversial problems. Meanwhile, we are allowed to declare our idea instantly. On the contrary, compared with telephone, email is lagging. On one hand, we cannot check out our email always and everywhere, whereas we can answer a cell phone presently. On the other hand, people probably ignore text message.
In addition, voice message is more effective. It is widely acknowledged that typing costs much more time than speaking. What is worse, text is frequently unable to deliver the true contention. Or rather, the receiver may get the wrong meaning. Take my own case as an example. Once, I wrote to say that I got a cold and wanted to postpone our trip with Lucy. However, she thought it was just an excuse and replied that if I did not want to go trip with her, I need not pretend to be ill. Fortunately, I phoned her. Heard my heavy voice, she knew I really got sick and apologized to me. In a word, telephone and voice message is more efficient than email or text message.
Admittedly, thanks to the advanced technology, many people started using telephone to check out email. Hence it seems that email is a good approach to discuss upsetting problems. Nevertheless, from my perspective, email or text message does harm to our eye. After all, we have to focus on the screen to spell our assertion. Apart from that, people like children, the old as well as illiteracy even are unable to spell a word.
In a nut shell, taken what I have mentioned above carefully into consideration, I go without saying using telephone or voice messaging to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others.
这个，没什么好改的额。嘿嘿。
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-7-23 15:05
7.22
2010.3.6NASome people believe that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even they are not realistic; others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. What’s your opinion and why? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
It is widely acknowledged that everyone has goals. Some targets seem incredible while others are based on reality. From my perspective, people are supposed to attanch importance to ambitious dreams. My contention can be supported by the following counterpoints.
First of all, generally speaking, success originates from ambitious goals. Form ancient times，greatest inventions have always been regarded as ridiculous jokes. Nevertheless, these dreams come true. A good example can be found in this case. At first, people were laughed at the Wright brothers’ goal and held the view that an airplane was just a dream. However, look at today. When flying in the air, we ought to appreciate that Late sticked to their ambitious targets. There is no denying that thanks to these ambitious dreams, we now lived a more convenient life.
In addition, it is the unrealistic targets that encourage people to work hard. If we set a goal on the basis of reality, we will not try our best because we know it will be realized easyly. On the contrary, aggressive goals impress us to do everything to realize them. To illustrate, I told myself to got A+ for all my courses last term. Thus, I concentrated on study day and night. No pain, no vain. The result turned out to be that apart from pleasant grades, I enriched my knowledge as well. Instead, my roommate Lucy, just got C. After all, she just aimed to pass the exam。Aggressive targets stimulate our potentiality.
Admittedly, compared with realistic goals, aggressive dreams are more likely to fail. However, although we are unable to reach the original dreams, we can get better consequences than what realistic targets bring us. For instance, Arnold Schwarzenegger dreamed to be the present of America. Meanwhile, he spared no efforts to realize this target. Though finally, he did not achieve his dream, he became a governor of a state as well as a famous celebrity. Dreams may not come true but there are frequently pleasant surprises.
Just like the saying goes "Where there is a will, there is a way." All in all, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, personally, I believe that people should hold on their aggressive dreams.
作者: 易雨水巷 时间: 2012-7-23 21:39
7.23
2010.3.12NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
With the technology developing quickly, television has been an essential part of our daily life. Recently a hot discussion comes to surface about the hours which children spent on watching TV. Some parents assert that some television programs contribute to children's behavior at school and thus they have no occasion for blocking children watching TV. However, the rest and I hold a different attitude toward this issue. In my opinion, to ensure children's behavior in school, partents are supposed to limit the hours that kids spend on watching TV. Reasons are as follows.
To start with, without limitation, children are apt to be addicted to watching TV. Once children get into this sort of bad habit, they cannot control themselves and just want to stay in the imaginary environment. Thus, there is no denying that they spend little time on studying. What is worse, they may be effected by some violent scenes which may lead them to be rude in realistic life. For instance, a research revealed that 80% parents regreted for letting it go and finally resulted in their children’s' keen on TV. Unfortunately, their children did extremely bad at school. After all, instead of studying hard, these kids neglected learning, fought with classmates and so on. Parents should be responsible for avoiding their children be rapt in watching TV.
Furthermore, it does harm to youngsters' eyes for spending plenty of time on television. The young are in a long body and their eyes need carefully protection. Focusing on TV for a long time tremendously injure their eyes. An example is not far to be sought. My 9-year-old cousin, Jack, has to wear a pair of short-sighted glasses. This terrible consequence resulted from watching TV taking up about 8 hours every day when he was younger. My uncle once told me that he should had limited Jack's television time. In brief, for the sake of kids' eyes, please control their television time.
Admittedly, a few of television programs entertain us and widen our horizons. In view of this, it seems that spending certain time on watching TV is appropriate. Nevertheless, the majority programs are dull, flimsy as well as violent. I mean that, children are too young to tell these television programs. Take my own case as example. I used to watch TV plays of no worth. Fortunately, my parents only allowed me to spend 2 hours on watching TV one day and instructed me to watch educational programs such as Scientific American’s 60-Second Science, otherwise I would be addicted to dull TV plays.
In a nutshell, from what has been discussed above, we can easily draw a conclusion that parents should attach importance on children’s' behaviors at school and limit the young's television time.
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