ChaseDream

标题: 【写作小分队】杜绝拖延症 bechasing要拿下iBT [打印本页]

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-10 10:44
标题: 【写作小分队】杜绝拖延症 bechasing要拿下iBT
最后的胜利，属于坚持！
———————————————————————————————— 接下来的三个月必定是凤凰涅槃，坚持下去，你就是胜利者！GO GO GO!

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-10 10:45
求大侠修改，谢谢。

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-11 09:32
4.10

Attention：以上是入队前练习。

作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-11 13:15
Chasing亲亲，要看看【小分队大本营】的规则哇~
帖链接才会被分组呢~

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-11 14:17
多谢温馨提示

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-11 23:04
4.11 独立

Which kind of universities do you prefer, universities whose graduates can find good jobs or universities where there are famous professors？110402 NA

Education is the most significant factor promoting the sustainable development of a country and the universities play a critical role in the education system as the higher education prepares people for their careers in the future. Many people hold the opinion that we should choose the universities whose graduates can find good jobs. But others, in contrast, assert that the universities with famous professors are more desirable. From my angle, I would like to slide with the latter opinion.

First of all, students can acquire a great deal of knowledge from the famous professors. No one can deny that well-known professors are skilled in some certain domains. By learning from them, we can not only abtain useful specialized knowledge but also expand our eyesight. Famous professors bring home to us the essencial knowledge we are absorbing so that we could have a strong special expertise towards getting a good job. Furthermore, they can teach us precious lessons about how to prepare our future careers and offer some proper advice on understanding our life and even the world, which are considerably important in our study and work.

In addition, famous professors have a positive effect in shaping our personalities and a proper outlook towards the world. We cannot emphasize the significance of the influence of eminent persons too much. It is the nice characters which deserve us young people to learn. A pretty good case about this is that when I conducted my graduate design under the guidance of a famous professor two years ago. She checked evey corner of my experiment in the whole process and if there was even a tiny mistake she would disscuss it with me and did her ultmost to make me progress. It was her strict and serious attitude that impressed me most, and it will be beneficial for my lifetime.

What is more, the influence of famous professors can provide us a great many opportunities in finding satisfied jobs. About this point, we just need to take a look at the evident fact that famous professors are usualy invited to attend various summits of accademic orgnizations or meetings with managers of note companies. If we can company with them, then we will have precious opportunities to contact directly the person or companies we are interested in. Such a chance is extrodinarily valuable that we could benefit from the celebrity of famous professors.

Admittedly, choosing employment-oriented universities temporarily enables us to find a good job relative easier. However, the positive advantages we benefit from famous professors are more significant and useful, which prepare us the qualities to gain better and greater job opportubities. Therefore, here I reforce my standpoint that choosing unviersities where there are famous professors are more desirable.

作者: miss绿光 时间: 2012-4-11 23:47
报到！明天上午给你改~我今晚先碎觉去啦！

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-12 08:00
嗯嗯谢谢啦加油 morning

作者: miss绿光 时间: 2012-4-12 11:02
对不起！我刚起来!中午下午还要出去..我一回来就给你改＞＜对不住＞＜

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-12 15:06
打字太慢肿么办！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
转一个技术贴 from 晨依Jacqueline http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-663724-16-1.html

重点内容：打字习惯的培养
　　“打字快不在于你敲个别键快，而在于你手指间的协调!”（晨依就是各种肢体不协调、比如打字，比如广播操……）
　　英文打字有个很大的误区是，很多人认为打字要快就要追求按键迅速。然而这并不能保证你的打字速度就能上去，而且更有可能导致mian类型错误的出现(因为你可能打i的速度快了，但和你打a不协调，右手先按在了i上，结果就成了mian)。打字快的人，往往打字是很均匀的，每个字母间的停顿很短，但又很一致。对于个人，理想的停顿时间就是你用左手无名指先打w再打x之间所隔的时间，或者如果你想打的更快，那就是左手中指打e和d之间所隔时间。我们应该试图将我们的打字节奏掌握在这个时间间隔之上。同时，八个手指(大拇指除外)打字的力度应该均匀(特别注意小指!)不能忽强忽弱，这样就容易导致漏打字母。记住，打字要追求匀称!!!(当然，盲打是前提，如果看着键盘打字，一来速度慢，二是不能及时发现错误)
　　一些打字加速法：
　　1. 不难发现，我们打字的时候受大写字母的约束非常大，比如大家尝试打一下I go to school today和I GO TO SCHOOL TODAY(请不要开Caps Lock)，速度差多少呢?而，我们写作时候，又不可避免的要打大写字母，特别是argument中一些专有名词。
　　加速点：一，学会Shift的正确使用方法，右手的字母键，左手shift(用小指按!)，反之亦然。
　二，超过三个的大写字母，用Caps Lock，比一下一下按shift快得多。
　　三，句子第一个字母的大写加速方法：在你打空格的时候，就开始用小指去找Shift(不要按下去)，打完空格立即按住shift，再按字母键。
　　2. 标点符号加速，首先明确英文中常用的几个标点符号在键盘哪个地方。比如逗号，分号，句号，感叹号，等等。再进行一些专项练习(一般来说，逗号和句号大家都没有什么问题，但分号，问号，感叹号，冒号等等，是需要多练习的)另外，由于这些标点符号都在无名指和小指的范围内，所以，请参照下面一点。
　　3. 小指打字加速，前面说我们打字要追求匀速，我们的小指(有时候还包括无名指)往往是最慢的，严重影响我们的速度(特别是打标点的时候)。这是因为小指本来反应就慢，要照顾的范围又特别大……小指的专项训练也是重要的。还有一个trick，其实我们打回车，用小指可能找不准，此时，还不如用食指去按，因为回车在一篇文章中还是很少的：)
　　打字出错频率较高者
　　这个问题基本上可以分为两类，第一类是那些原本就容易拼错的单词，比如temporize(有人习惯拼成temperize)。这类错误的解决还是比较简单的，有一些书对这种词语做出了很好的总结(比如著名的The Element of Style)，当然这些总结可能并不一定适合你，所以你也有必要在平时练习的时候，就注意这些自己容易拼错的词语。一个很简洁的发现这类错误的办法，是利用word的拼写检查。(虽然word的语法检查几乎是一无是处，它的拼写检查还是不错的，不过仍然有词库偏小的毛病，而且有些派生词它不认)这类错误基本上与机考是没有多大关系的，因此不是本文讨论重点。（背单词要背准确啊！不可以看一眼觉得认识就pass掉……）
　　第二类是由于打字习惯造成的错误。这里面也可以细分成几个小类：
　　一、两个字母顺序倒转，一些typical的例子是把main打成mian，还有form和from打错等。仔细研究下容易打错的词语，就可以发现，最容易错的是两个字母分别要用左右手打的时候(比如main中的a和i)。这是什么原因呢?其实是双手缺乏协调，按键速度不一致造成的。这种错误可以用后文将提到的打字习惯训练解决。
　　二、多打字母，比如把impose打成imposwe，这个问题根本上是因为对键位不熟悉而产生的，手指头不听使唤，想打e的时候，却按到了e和w之间，结果两个字母同时出现在屏幕上。这种错误解决的方法是多练习盲打，特别是单个字母的练习(可以用后文要提到的软件)
　　三、少打字母，比如把contemporary打成contempoary，这是因为，打字的时候按键轻重程度不统一，有时重，有时轻，所以有时候就不能正确的把字母打出来。解决方法同样见后文打字习惯的培养。
　　推荐打字软件，及练习方法
　　强烈推荐金山打字通2003!它有一个非常不错的功能就是，可以打六级单词，还有各专业方面的文章，这对我们太有帮助了!还有打字游戏可以选择，推荐警察抓小偷。金山打字通这个软件设计得真的很好，使我这篇文章的价值大减，所以才把这个软件放在这么后面写，呵呵。大家就按照那个软件练吧，不出一个星期，你的English Typing肯定会有质变的。不过说到底，打字还是一个积累的过程，我现在打字快也是因为我打了多的缘故，这篇文章只是给大家一些提示罢了，无他……
（Tips：今天看到花儿的提高打字速度的训练很不错，就是每天25min的训练打一篇范文，可以借鉴。既能够联系打字速度，又能够学习到好的language point~鸟儿姐姐提供的方案是听写SSS，现在我的一篇听写听+写+校对一般是刚刚控制在30min左右，可以通过练习提高一下打字速度。）

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-12 15:07

对不起！我刚起来!中午下午还要出去..我一回来就给你改＞＜对不住＞＜

-- by 会员 miss绿光 (2012/4/12 11:02:43)

never mind

作者: miss绿光 时间: 2012-4-12 20:30
Which kind of universities do you prefer, universities whose graduates can find good jobs or universities where there are famous professors？110402 NA

Education is the most significant factor promoting the sustainable development of a country and the universities play a critical role in the education system as the higher education prepares people [开始觉得这里面的prepare的用法有些奇怪，查了以后，有如下意思：准备/使合适/装备/起草，那么看来作为“使合适”的话，可以用prepare sb] for their careers in the future. Many people hold the opinion that we should choose the universities whose graduates can find good jobs. But others, in contrast, assert that the universities with famous professors are more desirable. From my angle, I would like to slide with the latter opinion.

First of all, students can acquire a great deal of knowledge from the famous professors. No one can deny that well-known professors are skilled in some certain domains. By learning from them, we can not only abtain [拼写错误，obtain] useful specialized knowledge but also expand our eyesight. Famous professors bring home to us the essencial [essential] knowledge we are absorbing so that we could have a strong special expertise towards getting a good job. Furthermore, they can teach us precious lessons about how to prepare our future careers and offer some proper advice on understanding our life and even the world, which are considerably important in our study and work.

In addition, famous professors have a positive effect in shaping our personalities and a proper outlook towards the world. We cannot emphasize the significance of the influence of eminent persons too much. It is the nice characters which deserve us young people to learn. A pretty good case about this is that when I conducted my graduate design under the guidance of a famous professor two years ago. She checked evey corner of my experiment in the whole process and if there was even a tiny mistake she would disscuss it with me and did her ultmost to make me progress. It was her strict and serious attitude that impressed me most, and it will be beneficial for my lifetime.

What is more, the influence of famous professors can provide us a great many opportunities in finding satisfied jobs. About this point, we just need to take a look at the evident fact that famous professors are usualy [usually] invited to attend various summits of accademic orgnizations [academic organizations] or meetings with managers of note [???] companies. If we can company with them, then we will have precious opportunities to contact directly the person or companies we are interested in. Such a chance is extrodinarily [extraordinarily] valuable that we could benefit from the celebrity of famous professors [我觉得这里用的celebrity不妥，celebrity是名人、名声的意思，而你要表达的是从professor是的社交圈里获取好的资源，可以这样说：the social and academic circles of famous professors].

Admittedly, choosing employment-oriented universities temporarily enables us to find a good job relative easier. However, the positive advantages we benefit from famous professors are more significant and useful, which prepare us the qualities to gain better and greater job opportubities [opportunities]. Therefore, here I reforce [reinforce] my standpoint that choosing unviersities [universities] where there are famous professors are more desirable.
===========================================================
bechasing是要考GRE的人，写的作文就是不一样啊~长难句，高级词汇，同义单词之间的转换运用，非常好！美中不足的就是拼写错误有点多~
下面从观点的角度说说：
采用的是三段式论点，都是加强的那种，使的观点更具说服力。让步在结论段首小题一句，更显结论的严谨性。只是我平时不这么写（主要是想不出来三个加强点……），我主要是担心在结论点说admittedly的部分会不会使reader觉得你对你的结论持保留意见？结论段最好是全加强，不留余地。（北美的作文不像中国这么强调中庸）当然，这只是我自己的看法，你可以再问问考过的高手们。
三个论点分别是：有助于理解所学；有助于塑造人格；有助于就业。都很好的说明了观点！第二段中也说了一个自身的例子，也算是具体生动了。这里有我的一点小看法，如果我第三段用你这个观点，我会说的更彻底：好的professor就ensure了good job，那我支持后者其实是支持一个双赢的选择，而前者只有一个benefit，相差太多了！
=======
总结一下，我觉得咱俩的风格很像，而且我很admire你对同义不同词之间的转换，观点也很supportive~注意一下拼写就更接近完美啦~

作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-4-12 20:42
真不好意思，我刚才到家，而且今天不舒服，头超级疼，所以没精神写了，我明天早上再补上，真不好意思耽误你了

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-12 22:02
没有关系的祝你早日康复
注意休息~~~

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-12 22:14

Which kind of universities do you prefer, universities whose graduates can find good jobs or universities where there are famous professors？110402 NA

Education is the most significant factor promoting the sustainable development of a country and the universities play a critical role in the education system as the higher education prepares people [开始觉得这里面的prepare的用法有些奇怪，查了以后，有如下意思：准备/使合适/装备/起草，那么看来作为“使合适”的话，可以用prepare sb] for their careers in the future. Many people hold the opinion that we should choose the universities whose graduates can find good jobs. But others, in contrast, assert that the universities with famous professors are more desirable. From my angle, I would like to slide with the latter opinion.

First of all, students can acquire a great deal of knowledge from the famous professors. No one can deny that well-known professors are skilled in some certain domains. By learning from them, we can not only abtain [拼写错误，obtain] useful specialized knowledge but also expand our eyesight. Famous professors bring home to us the essencial [essential] knowledge we are absorbing so that we could have a strong special expertise towards getting a good job. Furthermore, they can teach us precious lessons about how to prepare our future careers and offer some proper advice on understanding our life and even the world, which are considerably important in our study and work.

In addition, famous professors have a positive effect in shaping our personalities and a proper outlook towards the world. We cannot emphasize the significance of the influence of eminent persons too much. It is the nice characters which deserve us young people to learn. A pretty good case about this is that when I conducted my graduate design under the guidance of a famous professor two years ago. She checked evey corner of my experiment in the whole process and if there was even a tiny mistake she would disscuss it with me and did her ultmost to make me progress. It was her strict and serious attitude that impressed me most, and it will be beneficial for my lifetime.

What is more, the influence of famous professors can provide us a great many opportunities in finding satisfied jobs. About this point, we just need to take a look at the evident fact that famous professors are usualy [usually] invited to attend various summits of accademic orgnizations [academic organizations] or meetings with managers of note [???] companies. If we can company with them, then we will have precious opportunities to contact directly the person or companies we are interested in. Such a chance is extrodinarily [extraordinarily] valuable that we could benefit from the celebrity of famous professors [我觉得这里用的celebrity不妥，celebrity是名人、名声的意思，而你要表达的是从professor是的社交圈里获取好的资源，可以这样说：the social and academic circles of famous professors].

Admittedly, choosing employment-oriented universities temporarily enables us to find a good job relative easier. However, the positive advantages we benefit from famous professors are more significant and useful, which prepare us the qualities to gain better and greater job opportubities [opportunities]. Therefore, here I reforce [reinforce] my standpoint that choosing unviersities [universities] where there are famous professors are more desirable.
===========================================================
bechasing是要考GRE的人，写的作文就是不一样啊~长难句，高级词汇，同义单词之间的转换运用，非常好！美中不足的就是拼写错误有点多~
下面从观点的角度说说：
采用的是三段式论点，都是加强的那种，使的观点更具说服力。让步在结论段首小题一句，更显结论的严谨性。只是我平时不这么写（主要是想不出来三个加强点……），我主要是担心在结论点说admittedly的部分会不会使reader觉得你对你的结论持保留意见？结论段最好是全加强，不留余地。（北美的作文不像中国这么强调中庸）当然，这只是我自己的看法，你可以再问问考过的高手们。
三个论点分别是：有助于理解所学；有助于塑造人格；有助于就业。都很好的说明了观点！第二段中也说了一个自身的例子，也算是具体生动了。这里有我的一点小看法，如果我第三段用你这个观点，我会说的更彻底：好的professor就ensure了good job，那我支持后者其实是支持一个双赢的选择，而前者只有一个benefit，相差太多了！
=======
总结一下，我觉得咱俩的风格很像，而且我很admire你对同义不同词之间的转换，观点也很supportive~注意一下拼写就更接近完美啦~

-- by 会员 miss绿光 (2012/4/12 20:30:48)

谢谢miss绿光的非常棒的修改，我的写作实力并不好，写这篇作文花了近1小时，崩溃，打字速度好慢= =
关于你说的最后一点的建议非常的好，我当时写的时候就没有想这么透，谢谢啦。确实存在很多拼写的错误，把word的自动检查关了，一大堆啊，谢谢指正。

是不是要admittedly我也很犹豫，如果不写这个的话会被看成是观点片面，没有考虑两面？
还有就是关于prefer a or b这种题型的时候，很多的作文笔记都建议说先分别elucidate the advantages of both a and b，然后再摆明自己的观点；
或者是先摆明自己的观点，再分别说a的有点和b的缺点。我现在只是一方面地递进加强地说a有多好，不知这种结构写法是否有点偏题？你怎么看的呢？

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-12 23:57
写了近one hour...洋洋洒洒地扯，思路胡乱。诶。继续加强训练。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in cities, people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families. 20101009 NA

Currently, with the rapid development of Chinese economy, the urbanization process is accelerated while more and more people are moving into numerous swelling cities. And thus there exists an increasing debate on whether people who live in cities can take better care of their families than people who live in rural areas do. From my angle, I have to admit that people living in counties take better care of their family members than those living in cities do.

First of all, people living in countries can spend more time on their families. Since the city people must go out for work in the daytime, they hardly have time to chat and company with their family members. The continuously speeded pace of modern metropolitan life poses sever stress to individual person within families and makes them feel nervous. A lack of time to stay together results to the gradually alienated family bonds between home members. However, people who live in rural areas do not need to worry about this question and can often stay together at any time due to their free time schedule. So they can know each other better.

In addition, the rural people are more amiable and loyal than the city people; they do not haggle on every ounce. I actually come from the countryside. Once a time my grandfather got injured while he was walking down the stairs. Every member of my family was very sad about it and immediately sent him to hospital. I still remember that my aunt insisted on taking the nourishment to my grandpa every day, hoping he could recover again. In contrast, I have once heard a tragedy story about a young people who lived and worked in a big city. He went so far as to leave his sick mother at home alone and did not take her to see a doctor. When the newspaper uncovered it, he should say that he have no money and time to do that.

What is more, compared with people who live urban areas, those who live in countryside often live close to their family members and so they can visit and take care of each other more often. This can be understood from my own case. My brother is working in a toy factory and lives very close to my parents. Since I am still in school in the city and have no time to see my parents very frequently. So my brother often go back home after work to help my parents do the housework. If both I and my brother live in urban area, my parents will be very laborious.

In sum, take the spared time staying with families, good qualities of rural people, and living close to each other into consideration, I strongly believe that people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families than people living in cities do.

作者: miss绿光 时间: 2012-4-13 10:16

-- by 会员 miss绿光 (2012/4/12 20:30:48)

-- by 会员 bechasing (2012/4/12 22:14:35)

不偏题，我看过一个写作30分的人，她就是全部都是支持的/全部反驳这样的写法，旨在supportive；你想不出来3点的时候可以用两个+一个让步~

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-13 14:27
这是我喜欢的思路

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-13 23:13
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole. 20110226 NA

As the society is in constant change and progress, the thought that young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole is totally prejudicial and wrong. I have three reasons to support my opinion as follow.

First of all, the collective appeal of young people is getting more and more attention from the society due to the rapid development of Internet. With the popularization of burgeoning ways of communication, such as mini-blog, Facebook and so on, young people can express their justified opinions and ideas about the society more frequently. As a result of collective behavior, the society, especially the government, has to listen to them and change the current policies to satisfy their appeals. A recent case has happened in the Arab world in 2010, which was called “Arab spring”. At that time young people were not content with the existing policies, they went to street and called for political and economic reformation. Finally, their requests leaded to an important social transformation in Arab world.

Another significant aspect is that the ability of young people is now shaping a new world, which promotes the continuous development of the society. For instance, the innovation ability of young people is far greater than that of older people, and thus they are often called as“ new dawn of the society”. The founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, leads the new and substantial change of Internet as he establishes a novel communication on the network, bringing the society the interactive age of Internet. Young people are more creative and are energetic to make breakthrough, which is the major factor promoting social progress.

What is more, the society needs fresh ideas and thoughts of young people in order to keep social vitality. An impetuous river, without the addition of “new blood”, will dry up and get decayed. That is the same to the society. If the society overlooks the fresh but precious ideas of young people, it cannot obtain the impetus to reform itself and always keep active.

In sum, based on the above perspectives, I strongly disagree with the statement that young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society.

作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-14 00:34
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in cities, people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families. 20101009 NA
紫色建议，红色修改，高亮精彩。

Currently, with the rapid development of Chinese economy, the urbanization process is accelerated while more and more people are moving into numerous swelling cities. (乡-城迁移促进了城市化？？) And thus there exists an increasing（这个搭配我理解，但是英文还是罕见啊，还是hot吧）debate on whether people who live in cities can take better care of their families than people who live in rural areas do. From my angle, I have to admit that people living in counties take better care of their family members than those living in cities do. （感觉这两句表述重复的太多。改进一下试试：This flooding migration are willing to travel far because they claim that the affluent cities may provide a more ideal environment to take care of their families, compared with the rural areas. However, I doubt whether this claim can hold water.）

First of all, people living in countries can spend more time on their families. Since the city people(urban dwellers) must go out for work in the daytime, they hardly have time to chat and company with their family members. The continuously speeded pace of modern metropolitan life poses sever stress to individual person within families (看混乱了，直接individuals就可以吧) and makes them feel nervous. A lack of time to stay together results to the gradually alienated family bonds between home members. However, people who live in rural areas do not need to worry about this question and can often stay together at any time due to their free time schedule. So they can know each other better.

In addition, the rural people are more amiable and loyal than the city people; they do not haggle on every ounce. I actually come from the countryside. Once a time my grandfather got injured while he was walking down the stairs. Every member of my family was very sad about it and immediately sent him to hospital. I still remember that my aunt insisted on taking the nourishment to my grandpa （grandpa’s taking nourishment） every day, hoping he could recover again. In contrast, I have once heard a tragedy story (删除，多余啦) about a young people who lived and worked in a big city. He went so far as to leave his sick mother at home alone and did not take her to see a doctor. When the newspaper uncovered it, he should say that he have no money and time to do that.（he only took his busy schedule as excuses.）

What is more, compared with people who live urban areas, those who live in countryside often live close to their family members and so they can visit and take care of each other more often. This can be understood from my own case. My brother is working in a toy factory and lives very close to my parents.(and并列前后最好时态对称)Since I am still in school in the city and have no time to see（visit） my parents very frequently. So my brother often go back home after work to help my parents do (with) the housework. If both I and my brother (老外喜欢把I 放在最后) live in urban area, my parents will be very laborious.

In sum, take the spared time （？） staying with families, good qualities of rural people, and living close to each other（不并列，最好也用N性质的） into consideration, I strongly believe that people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families than people living in cities do.

Conclusion：

1.观点清晰，结构完整，内容丰富~~~有好些好词，学习啦~~~

2.前两个观点所举两个例子都是自己的。最好举一个名人的或者引用之类，说理更可信。

3.举例有点点流水账呢，建议看点叙事的文章？最好例子举完再加一个总结。

4.用词个别地方不太简洁呢，多多积累地道表达~

加油~~~共同进步~~~~

作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-4-14 08:54
看了bechasing给我修改的作文，发现了自己很多不足，喵呜·~要抓紧改！
其实晨依也是拖延到近一个小时写出来的

先占个楼，下午给bechasing修改大作哈~~~

As thesociety is in constant change and progress, the thought that young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole is totally prejudicial and wrong. I have(感觉这么说有点二) three reasons to support my opinion as follow.(I have和as follows的混搭怪怪的，建议换一个表达~ )

First of all, the collective appeal of young people is getting(drawing/attracting肿么样) more and more attention from thesociety due to the rapid development of Internet. With the popularization of burgeoningways of communication, such as mini-blog(micro-blog), Facebook and so on,(我觉得微博和脸书不可以作为ways of communication的列举，是不是应该说such as communicating via Facebook？不知道这样对不对……)young people can express their justified opinions and ideas about the society more frequently. As a result of collective behavior, the society, especially the government, has to listen to them and change the current policies to satisfy their appeals. A recent case has happened in the Arab world in 2010, which was called “Arab spring”. At that time young people were not content with the existing policies, they went to street and called for political and economic reformation. Finally, their requests leaded to an important social transformation in Arab world.(晨依都看懵了(⊙o⊙)…博学的bechasing！)

Another significant aspect is that the ability of young people is now shaping a new world, which promotes the continuous development of the society. For instance, the innovation ability of young people is far greater than that of older people, and thus they are often called as“ new dawn of the society”. The founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, leads the new and substantial change of Internet as he establishes a novel communication on the network, bringing the society the interactive age of Internet(个人感觉是不是internet已经包含了interactive的特点了？). Young people are more creative and are energetic to make breakthrough, which is the major factor promoting social progress.

What is more, the society needs fresh ideas and thoughts of young people in order to keep social vitality. An impetuous river,(是不是个比喻啊，感觉突然来一river好突兀啊、加个连词之类的暗示一下读者肿么样、、、As we all know)without the addition of “new blood”, will dry up and get decayed. That is the same to the society. If the society overlooks the fresh but precious ideas of young people, it cannot obtain the impetus to reform itself and always keep active.

In sum, based on the above(放到perspective后面、) perspectives, I strongly disagree with the statement that young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society. (开头和结尾都是直接把观点抄上了、要不要换一个同义表述？)

Conclusion：

怎么说呢、我之前审题的时候就很困惑，也不知道怎么下手写，所以也没有什么头绪来评。说说我的感觉吧，优点就是好词好句好例子，缺点是感觉有一些表达偏中式，看得有一点点费劲。观点方面，虽然我觉得也不是完全切合题目，但是确实比我写的要好多了，捂脸ing……不多说饿了，一起加油吧~！

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-14 10:18

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in cities, people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families. 20101009 NA
紫色建议，红色修改，高亮精彩。

Currently, with the rapid development of Chinese economy, the urbanization process is accelerated while more and more people are moving into numerous swelling cities. (乡-城迁移促进了城市化？？) And thus there exists an increasing（这个搭配我理解，但是英文还是罕见啊，还是hot吧）debate on whether people who live in cities can take better care of their families than people who live in rural areas do. From my angle, I have to admit that people living in counties take better care of their family members than those living in cities do. （感觉这两句表述重复的太多。改进一下试试：This flooding migration are willing to travel far because they claim that the affluent cities may provide a more ideal environment to take care of their families, compared with the rural areas. However, I doubt whether this claim can hold water.）

First of all, people living in countries can spend more time on their families. Since the city people(urban dwellers) must go out for work in the daytime, they hardly have time to chat and company with their family members. The continuously speeded pace of modern metropolitan life poses sever stress to individual person within families (看混乱了，直接individuals就可以吧) and makes them feel nervous. A lack of time to stay together results to the gradually alienated family bonds between home members. However, people who live in rural areas do not need to worry about this question and can often stay together at any time due to their free time schedule. So they can know each other better.

In addition, the rural people are more amiable and loyal than the city people; they do not haggle on every ounce. I actually come from the countryside. Once a time my grandfather got injured while he was walking down the stairs. Every member of my family was very sad about it and immediately sent him to hospital. I still remember that my aunt insisted on taking the nourishment to my grandpa （grandpa’s taking nourishment） every day, hoping he could recover again. In contrast, I have once heard a tragedy story (删除，多余啦) about a young people who lived and worked in a big city. He went so far as to leave his sick mother at home alone and did not take her to see a doctor. When the newspaper uncovered it, he should say that he have no money and time to do that.（he only took his busy schedule as excuses.）

What is more, compared with people who live urban areas, those who live in countryside often live close to their family members and so they can visit and take care of each other more often. This can be understood from my own case. My brother is working in a toy factory and lives very close to my parents.(and并列前后最好时态对称)Since I am still in school in the city and have no time to see（visit） my parents very frequently. So my brother often go back home after work to help my parents do (with) the housework. If both I and my brother (老外喜欢把I 放在最后) live in urban area, my parents will be very laborious.

In sum, take the spared time （？） staying with families, good qualities of rural people, and living close to each other（不并列，最好也用N性质的） into consideration, I strongly believe that people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families than people living in cities do.

Conclusion：

1.观点清晰，结构完整，内容丰富~~~有好些好词，学习啦~~~

2.前两个观点所举两个例子都是自己的。最好举一个名人的或者引用之类，说理更可信。

3.举例有点点流水账呢，建议看点叙事的文章？最好例子举完再加一个总结。

4.用词个别地方不太简洁呢，多多积累地道表达~

加油~~~共同进步~~~~

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/4/14 0:34:05)

鸟儿一点多帮我改，太感动了，赞精神。

前两个观点所举两个例子都是自己的。最好举一个名人的或者引用之类，说理更可信。
好~~
举例有点点流水账呢，建议看点叙事的文章？最好例子举完再加一个总结。
哈哈这个回头看还真是多谢建议
用词个别地方不太简洁呢，多多积累地道表达~
嗯中式英语迹象明显有口语化的影响

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-15 11:32

看了bechasing给我修改的作文，发现了自己很多不足，喵呜·~要抓紧改！
其实晨依也是拖延到近一个小时写出来的

-- by 会员晨依Jacqueline (2012/4/14 8:54:16)

审题我也困惑了好久晨依给了我很好的建议，谢谢啦！
这方面的事例多积累一些再狂举例子下起笔来就很有劲啦咱们年轻有力量哈哈哈~~
作文写的少，中式很难摆脱啊一起加油~

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-16 16:27
4.15 独立思维混乱+借鉴之后的烂文一篇
As Andrew Sullivan said that, “Errors are inevitable. Themark of character is not refusing to recognize them, but acknowledging them andtaking responsibility.” Personaly, I completely agree that the most importantcharacteristic for politics is to accept responsibility for mistake. Because it help politicians make progress andgain respect from the general public.

To begin with, accepting responsibility helps politicians make improvements. The inability toaccept responsibility for their actions and behaviors is a result ofinsecurity. That is to say, by taking responsibility politicians may feel that theyare admitting to being weak, powerless, or an opportunity to lose the respectof others. It may cause them to feel that they will lose their sense of valueand importance. However, one cannot never make a mistake since nobody isperfect. When policiticians accept responsibility they are accepting the blamefor their actions and also accepting the responsibility for making improvements.Accepting responsibility is a measure of one's self-worth and the true sign of intrinsicstrength and courage. Having this ability can empower them to learn to getperfect, though no one is perfect.

Furthermore, taking responsibility earns politicians respect and help them become more popular in the general public. Because people prefer tohave an honest political leader rather than a lier. Actually, throughout thelong history around the world, we may find out that many politicians lose theirpolitical future for not accepting their mistakes immediately due to hesitationor variety of excuses. For instance, some politicians chose to hide theirmistakes by an elaborate hoax; however, the truth cannot be covered all thetime. Once it is uncovered, those personal mistakes might become big scandals,and the politicians would no longer be trusted by the followers. On the contrary,people will respect those politicians who have courages to admit their mistakesand correct them. The public treat them as common people rather than flimsy perfectperson.

In sum, from whathas been discussed above, we can come to the conclusion that accepting responsibility formistake is the most important characteristic for politics.

作者: daisyの小夢想 时间: 2012-4-17 08:00

4.15 独立

As Andrew Sullivan said that, “Errors are inevitable. The mark of character is not refusing to recognize them, but acknowledging them and taking responsibility.”Personaly(Personally), I completely agree that the most important characteristic for politics is to accept responsibility for mistake. Because it help(helps) politicians make progress and gain respect from the general public

To begin with, accepting responsibility helps politicians make improvements. The inability to accept responsibility for their actions and behaviors is a result of insecurity. That is to say, by taking responsibility politicians may feel that they are admitting to being(admit to being) weak, powerless, or (and may lose the respect from others)an opportunity to lose the respect of others. It may cause them to feel that they will lose their sense of value and importance. However, one cannot never make a mistake since nobody is perfect. When policiticians (politicians) accept responsibility(,) they are accepting the blame for their actions and also accepting the responsibility for making improvements. Accepting responsibility is a measure of one's self-worth and the true sign of intrinsic strength and courage. Having this ability can empower them to learn to get(be) perfect, though no one is perfect.

To begin with, accepting responsibility helps politicians make improvements. The inability to accept responsibility for their actions and behaviors is a result of insecurity. That is to say, by taking responsibility politicians may feel that they are admitting to being(admit to being) weak, powerless, or (and may lose the respect from others)an opportunity to lose the respect of others. It may cause them to feel that they will lose their sense of value and importance. However, one cannot never make a mistake since nobody is perfect. When policiticians (politicians) accept responsibility(,) they are accepting the blame for their actions and also accepting the responsibility for making improvements. Accepting responsibility is a measure of one's self-worth and the true sign of intrinsic strength and courage. Having this ability can empower them to learn to get(be) perfect, though no one is perfect.

Furthermore, taking responsibility earns politicians respect and help(s) them become more popular in the general public. Because people prefer to have an honest political leader rather than a lier(liar). Actually, throughout the long history around the world, we may find out that many politicians lose their political future for not accepting their mistakes immediately due to hesitation or variety of excuses. For instance, some politicians chose to hide their mistakes by an elaborate hoax; however, the truth cannot be covered all the time. Once it is uncovered, those personal mistakes might become big scandals, and the politicians would no longer be trusted by the followers. On the contrary, people will respect those politicians who have courages to admit their mistakes and correct them. The public treat them as common people rather than flimsy perfect person.

In sum, from what has been discussed above, we can come to the conclusion that accepting responsibility for mistake is the most important characteristic for politics.

观点不错，语言不错，但是缺了一点具体的例子，这篇我也写得很是纠结，不知道怎么论证，学习了。

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-17 23:01
4.16 独立
How to get along well with others is an art. Some people hold the opinion that we have the right to require others and be rude to someone if he does harm to our personal interest. While others deem that we should never be rude to another person. From my angle, I completely agree with the latter view of point for the reasons as follow.

To begin with, to be polite to others is an indication of one person’s moral quality and shows good impression to others. In some conditions, if we show our sincere friendliness to another person, we will readily win others’ respect. For instance, when we are in a crowded bus or train, someone stomp our foot without any hostility, a generous smile will eliminate his uneasiness and win us respect. In contrast, if you lose our temper on the trivial things, you lose the elegant demeanor. Even worse, you will make others a very bad impression that you are a person who is hard to get along with and afterwards fewer people would like to work together and make friends with you.

In addition, never be rude to another person is the lubrication in a group as a whole. Image you are a group leader of a company, how will you response if someone makes a mistake in his work? I deem that the optimal choice is having a deep conservation with him and helping him remedy his fault. Since in this way would the worker like to work for you and the efficiency of the organization will be developed. If you are rude and show your anger to him, however, it will tremendously harm the enthusiasm and self-esteem of the employee, naturally, the work efficiency will be damaged. Never showing impolite to others is the best way to make the group members work with muck more willing and maximum the organizations efficiency compared to being rude to them.

On the contrary, showing impolite to someone is really a unreasonable behavior which will do harm to our relationship between each other. Once a time, one of my classmate and I took part in a badminton competition as teammates. But my classmate was not skilled in playing badminton. During the contest, he could hardly give a counterpunch to the rival and I could not give full play to my skills. Of cause, finally we lost the game. After the competition I thrown the racket away and shouted at him, which really hurt his feelings. Our relationship was broken up and I always regretted about this. If I could be polite at that moment, I would not lose an intimate friend.

In sum, either from the purely personal point of view or from the group’s perspective, I reinforce here that there is never a reason to be rude to another person.

作者: 探险者 时间: 2012-4-18 20:48
标题: 独立作文修改意见 by探险者
How to get along well with others is an art. Some people hold the opinion that we have the right to require others and be rude to someone if he does harm to our personal interest. While others deem（楼主这个词替换的很好哦） that we should never be rude to another person. From my angle, I completely agree with the latter view of point for the reasons as follow.

To begin with, to be polite to others is an indication of one person’s moral quality and shows good impression to others（这里的动词觉得应该用leave，因为是给别人留下好的印象，而show是展示的意思）. In some conditions, if we show our sincere friendliness to another person, we will readily win others’ respect. For instance, when we are in a crowded bus or train, someone stomp our foot without any hostility, a generous smile will eliminate his uneasiness and win us respect（这点不太理解，为什么用us，你想说的是赢得谁的尊重呢？）. In contrast, if you lose our（your） temper on the trivial things, you lose the elegant demeanor. Even worse（what’s worse是不是更好）, you will make（leave） others a very bad impression that you are a person who is hard（可以换用difficult,或者formidable后者更大一些） to get along with and afterwards fewer people would like to work together and make friends with you.

In addition, never be rude to another person is the lubrication in a group as a whole. Image（Imagine） you are a group leader of a company, how will you response if someone makes a mistake in his work? I deem（前面用过这个词了，可以换种方式，比如Clearly， the optimal choice is…） that the optimal choice is having a deep(如果换用close是不是更显亲密一些) conservation with him and helping him remedy（楼主，好词） his fault. Since in this way would the worker like to work for you and the efficiency of the organization will be developed. If you are rude and show your anger to him, however, it will tremendously harm（如果是热情的话，用discourage是不是好些，当然harm self-esteem是很好的） the enthusiasm and self-esteem of the employee, naturally, the work efficiency will be damaged. Never showing impolite（show是不是应当加名词，如impolite manners） to others is the best way to make the group members work with muck more willing and maximum the organizations efficiency compared to being rude to them.

On the contrary, showing impolite to someone is really a unreasonable behavior which will do harm to our relationship between each other. Once a time, one of my classmate and I took part in a badminton competition as teammates. But my classmate was not skilled in playing badminton. During the contest, he could hardly give a counterpunch to the rival and I could not give full play to my skills. Of cause, finally we lost the game. After the competition I thrown the racket away and shouted at him, which really hurt his feelings. Our relationship was broken up and I always regretted about this. If I could be polite at that moment, I would not lose an intimate（好词） friend.

In sum, either from the purely personal point of view or from the group’s perspective, I reinforce here that there is never a reason to be rude to another person.

第一次参加小组作文的互改，感觉的确学到不少。楼主的文章有着清晰的思路，每一段的论证有很好的递进，显得有条理，而我自己有的时候意思表达的不清楚。此外，你的作文中许多词汇的替换很好，省去了传统词汇重复使用的弊端，但是应当注意一下，有的词可能还要仔细斟酌。

我看到你在文中用到了倒装，这个真的很棒，当然，在我个人的修改意见中，把一个deem后的内容改用clearly的状语前置开始，楼主可以多尝试一下，这可以增加文章的可读性，比如你在文中有处使用的naturally。

最后一段的例子，使用自己的例子，而且你的描述很to-the-point，觉得很好。但是这一段的描述，句与句之间可以多一些连接，使得更连贯

第一次改啊，是个人观点。大家相互学习，欢迎来我的帖子拍砖啊。。。

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-19 08:52
谢谢探险者的细心修改建议很好，一定认真修改
学习了~~

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-19 15:10
4.17 独立 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people’s lives have already taken place.
As is known to all, our society, especially our life standard, has been thoroughly reshaped and promoted over the past several decades thanks to the increasing development of science and technology. It is plausible to have the idea that the most significant improvement for the quality of people’s lives has already taken place. But from my angle, I am afraid that this point of view can hardly withstand any scrutiny.

To begin with, human beings have eager aspiration to create better lives, thus one cannot arbitrarily think that people’s lives have already been improved and we have no chance to make any progress. This is obiviously ridiculous once you look back to the twentieth century. At the beginning of last century, people’s lives have been improved a lot due to the invention of motor vehicle at that time. The car took people only a very short time to reach any destination they wanted to go instead of slow walking or taking umcomfortable carriage. Can you say that the most significant improvement for the life quality has been achieved at that time? Of cause not. Subsequently, the advent of Internet Age greatly changed people’s lives and facilitate our living. One can never claim that the most progress in improving living standard have been obtained since better has no limitation.

However, there still exsit many chanllenges regard to people’s life need to be accomplished. For instance, the worldwide shortage of energy immensely limits the ongoing movement of the society. Experts predict that the remaining storage of fossil oil will be run out by the time of 2050.
Without settling down the problem of stable energy supply, we cannot imagine how difficult our lifves will become. In addition, when it comes to the means of transportation, the current ones, though considerably facilitating people’s lives since the inventation of car and plane, but there still has a huge space for further improvement since the urban space get more and more crowded. In the near future, producing low energy-consumption and environmental friendly transportation tools is definitely worth expecting to further improve people’s lives.

On the contrary, we human beings are now facing austere environmental problems, which poses a threat to the sustainable development of the earth and people's health life. People’s lives quality is weakened by the growing environmental issues such as air pollution and water contamination. Therefore, for the comprehensive sustainable development, novel science and technology are in great demand to solve these problems in order to improve ecological environment and living standard. We should continuously focus on making a better life rather than feeling self-contented with the progress we have made.

In sum, I deem that it is overoptimistic to declare the most significant improvement for the quality of people’s lives has already been achieves.

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-19 22:46
4.18 独立 Money: Travelling or saving for future?
Currently, with the rapid development of Chinese economy, the common people’s life standard is continuously improved and their family income is getting much more than before. Thus they have spared money to dispose in addition to the indispensable part. When it comes to how to deal with it, I completely agree that spending money on travelling and vocation is much better than saving for future.

To begin with, travelling around can bring us rich experience about life. Our life is like a journey, only those who know to slow down their pace can appreciate its beauty. That is really the point. They can go to interesting places and meet new persons by travelling. It is connected with getting to know other cultures and traditions which are surely valuable. Furthermore, it is usually said that journeys educate, so while travelling as well as exploring people can make their knowledge wider and expand their horizons. Also people become more experienced and ready to cope with the surrounding world if they learn something while being in journey. Travelling can enriches people’s ordinary life and teaches them how to deal with it.

Another great benefit of travelling is the relaxation you get to do. It’s nice to live life to its fullest and enjoy a stress-free time with yourself. As the old saying goes, all works and no play makes Jack a dull boy. People need to travel to different places to take breaks from their busy work life. Going on vacation enable us to recharge our “batteries” by disconnecting us from our regular life. When we come back we feel invigorated and we are happy to be back in our day to day routine. It’s a very good stress remover that has a lot more to give than most people are willing to accept. One should also note that he cannot earn the countless money in the world but he can spend some to taste the precious joy of life through a travel.

What is more, when traveling with friends or family it creates memories for a lifetime. These memories will create a bond that nothing can erase no matter what happens with the relationship between people. Travelling is particularly worth doing especially at the time when the bond is alienated due to their individual business. It can give a new perspective on the relationship and cement the bond forever. It also gives nice stories to tell people afterwards. You can create photo albums about your trips and when you feel nostalgic you can take an hour recalling your life and experience about the trips again by looking at your pictures.

To sum up, based on the reasons mentioned above I strongly agree that people should spending money on travelling instead of saving it since it enriches people’s life experience, bring them joys, and even solidifies the relationship between people.

作者: 喵喵了个咪 时间: 2012-4-20 00:37

改4.18 独立 Money: Travelling or saving for future?
Currently, with the rapid development of Chinese economy, the common people’s life standard(living standard) is continuously improved and their family income is getting much more than before. Thus they have spared money to dispose in addition to the indispensable part.(储蓄也是管理自己资金的一种方法，我觉得这句话并不能明确体现你要论证的观点) When it comes to how to deal with it, I completely agree that spending money on travelling and vocation is much better than saving for future.

To begin with, travelling around can bring us rich experience about life. ~~Our~~ life is like a journey, only those who know to slow down their pace can appreciate its beauty(主语太长了The senery can be appreciated if someone slow down their step). That is really the point. They can go to interesting places and meet new persons(新人类，表述不对，不同的人就OK了) by travelling. It is connected with getting to know(这两个短语连着用怪怪的，不知道对不对) other cultures and traditions which are surely valuable. Furthermore, it is usually said that journeys educate(journey is education?), so while travelling as well as exploring people can make their knowledge wider and expand their horizons.(句式有问题travelling as well as exploring can make men’s knowledge wider and expanding their horizons.) Also people become more experienced and ready to cope with the surrounding world if they learn something while being in journey. Travelling can enriches people’s ordinary life(daily life) and teaches them how to deal with it.这段有的地方人称用they，但是有的名词却是单数。论证的部分如果不好确定，就全部用单数表示。整段都在证明论点，但是没有例子。举个例子会让文章显得论据充分而且会生动许多。

Another great benefit of travelling is the relaxation you get to do. It’s nice to live life to its fullest and enjoy a stress-free time with yourself. As the old saying goes, all works and no play makes Jack a dull boy. People need to travel to different places to take breaks from their busy work life. Going on vacation(Going vacationing) enable us to recharge our “batteries” by disconnecting us from our regular life. When we come back we feel invigorated and we are happy to be back in our day to day routine. (一句话里有3个WE,可以改变下句式)It’s a very good stress remover that has a lot more to give than most people are willing to accept. One should also note that he cannot earn the countless money in the world but(这句前后没有转折关系) he can spend some to taste the precious joy of life through a travel.

What is more, when traveling with friends or family it creates memories for a lifetime. These memories will create a bond that nothing can erase no matter what happens with the relationship between people. Travelling is particularly worth doing especially at the time when the bond(换成relationship) is alienated due to their individual business. It can give a new perspective on the relationship and cement the bond forever. It also gives nice stories to tell people afterwards. You can create photo albums about your trips and when you feel nostalgic you can take an hour recalling your life and experience about the trips again by looking at your pictures.

To sum up, based on the reasons mentioned above I strongly agree that people should spending(spend) money on travelling instead of saving it since it enriches people’s life experience, bring them joys, and even solidifies the relationship between people.

1.注意主谓一致。

2.对于每个论点举个小例子会使文章更生动。

3.我个人感觉你的语言有点中文化，相对调整下句式会好很多。

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-20 08:48
Science上一篇关于India的精英教育的文章用词很犀利筒子们赶紧学习吧
India's Science: Elitism Prevails

After reading the News Focus story “India rising” (R. Stone, 24 February, p. 904) and the related Editorial, “India's ‘science for all’ academy” (R. Mashelkar, 24 February, p. 891), I can't escape asking: Why doesn't such a competent and highly educated scientific workforce produce? It seems that in India, scientists who become successful or achieve some modicum of notoriety eventually become science administrators and preside over（管理） decades of myopic（目光短浅的=near-sighted） science policies and self-preservation, including handpicking those who are “respectful and compliant（=obedient/submissive）,” ensuring vertical transmission of mediocrity and incompetence（平庸和无能ordinariness and inability）. This continuum of elitism, contaminated with favoritism（偏袒=partiality）, leaves Indian science bereft of（丧失了） new ideas and energies. The only time that this practice was defied（公然藐视） was when Nehru (India's first prime minister) appointed a young, energetic visionary physicist named Homi Bhabha, much to the chagrin of the late Sir C.V. Raman (the Nobel laureate). It was Bhabha who ushered the Indian Atomic Energy program to its current stature and competence. In a nation of more than a billion people, there shouldn't be a dearth of （=in short of）energy or ideas. It is sad that Stone did not find any young Indian scientists to write about.

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-20 10:57
Science上的又一篇关于科研激励体制有失公允的评论
India's Science: Excellence Unrecognized

Neither R. Mashelkar's Editorial (“India's ‘science for all’ academy,” 24 February, p. 891) nor the News Focus story by R. Stone (“India rising,” 24 February, p. 904) touched upon the biggest shortcoming of Indian science: its inability to reward, and hence inspire, excellence.

Among the multitudes who brave the largely patronizing and unimaginative education system in India, many researchers do emerge who are capable of emulating （努力赶上...以超过，比得上，效仿） the best in the world. However, no mechanism exists to encourage demonstrated potential or to reward those who achieve better-than-average output. A university faculty member receives the same annual salary raise whether she or he has published 10 papers, one paper, or no papers in high–impact factor journals in the preceding year. Not only is the system unable to provide personal benefits to achievers of excellence, it does not even facilitate （帮助，促进=promote/boost） their work with better research grants（研究资助）. An assistant professor must spend at least 11 years and must achieve a certain minimum research output（科研成果） in that time to be given associate professorship. But if someone achieves double, triple, or quadruple the stipulated （规定的）minimum in less than 11 years, there is no provision （规定） for that person to move up faster than the lesser achievers. Apart from enduring（忍受=stand/abide） the disinterest of the establishment（既有体制）, these scientists also have to contend with（=cope with） the hurdles （obstacles/barrier） placed in their path by envious colleagues.

Once in a while, policy-makers make noises about providing a faster track to those who put in exceptional effort, but the idea is quickly abandoned out of fear of displeasing the fence-sitting majority（骑墙派）. Given this backdrop（考虑到这种背景）, those who pursue excellence in Indian universities and research institutions invoke a mixture of hostility and embarrassment. The treatment they receive becomes a demotivating example for others. The Indian scientific establishment（科研机构） keeps expressing the desire to promote excellence, but on the ground, it does everything to discourage it.

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-21 00:31
4.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should encourage their childrento do their schoolwork independently rather than help children to do theirschoolwork. 20101203 NA

In China,parents are becoming more and more concerned about their children’s education especiallysince the implementation of one-child policy in recent decades. Some parentseven help children to accomplish their homework. As far as I am concerned, Ireally disagree with them to do so because of the following reasons.

To beginwith, do the schoolwork independently can shape children’s logical thinking aswell as develop their problem-solving ability. As we all know, we may product asense of dependency when we ask others for help. So in the long term, helpingthe children with their homework will definitely aggravate this tendency, whichis not favorable for the development of their mental health. However, throughthe progress of solving a difficult task, children would master the methodologyto work out the tough task. Thus a clear mind with strong ability of dealingwith difficult tasks will be shaped gradually. It is the analysis ability thatdetermines a child’s future. Good ability of problem-solving leads the childrento explore and discover their capability embodied in them, and subsequently makesthem professional.

Inaddition, independent work can cultivate children’s perseverance. When a childasks his parents to help him solve a problem, it must be an intricate one. Ifthe parents easily cater to his requirement, the child will lose a superioropportunity of tenacity exercising. As is known to all, a piece of iron shouldbe forged hundreds of times to be qualified steel. This is the same to educatethe children. Only after a child facing hundreds of difficulties, it could makehim really grow up. Furthermore, a favorable psychological quality is asignificant prerequisite of success. The parents cannot guarantee the children asmooth sailing in the future life. For children, coping with the homeworkindependently is an important way to cultivate their frustration tolerance.

What ismore, doing their schoolwork independently can teach children responsibility. Someparents mistakenly believe that they need to oversee all assignments and makesure they are completed perfectly. However, by doing so, children get the wrongmessage that they are not capable of doing their homework without assistance. Thuswith the passage of time, the children will deem that it is not theirresponsibility to complete their own work and turn to their parents for helponce facing difficult things. Independence helps children instill confidenceand a sense of responsibility that will benefit them throughout their lives.

In sum, Istrongly agree that parents should encourage children to do their schoolworkindependently since it is favorable to cultivate their ability of logical thinkingand problem-solving, perseverance with difficulties and teaches them responsibility.

作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-21 16:02
bechasing，没有看到你19的独立呀

作者: bechasing 时间: 2012-4-21 18:55

bechasing，没有看到你19的独立呀

-- by 会员婷婷connie (2012/4/21 16:02:58)

啊哈楼上就是哈

欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/)