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标题: argument 1求拍~ [打印本页]
作者: xuanxuanxue 时间: 2012-4-6 21:42
标题: argument 1求拍~
In this argument the author comes tothe conclusion that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique Palean, whichwere believed to have been made only by the Palean people before. To justifythe claim, the author points out two main ideas. First, he puts that recently,archaeologists discovered such a Palean basket in Lithods, an ancient villageacross the Brim River from Palean, which is very deep and board. And then healso says that the ancient Palean could have crossed the river only by boat,and no boats have been found. However, close scrutiny of this argument revealsthat it is un convincing in several aspects.
To begin with, not to mention theconclusion, the author gives a wrong premise that woven baskets characterizedby a particular distinctive pattern previously been found only in the immediatevicinity of prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were regarded as thoseonly made by the Palean people. The argument assumes that the discovery in thesurrounding around the Palean reflects the general trend upon which they werefabricated by the domestic people. Yet the author fails to give any furtherevidence to justify this assumption. He ignores a host of other possibleexplanations why we have found them so far. Perhaps just for our amateurishskill, we have not found the same baskets in other places as well. Or perhaps,they may be disappered already for some reasons we could not control, likenatural disasters or war. Also, human migration, one is likely to be a pivotalrole in transferring these objects, leads to a situation that a nation residedhere and then left their baskets. So based on such a premise, it would behighly suspect.
Despite the ignorance of the falsepremise, it is still the paucity of existing evidences that to support thefact archaeologists found them in Lithods to concludes they did not only belongto the Palean. First of all, Lithods is not far from Palean, which is justacross a river from Palean. In fact their attention is much paid on thebreadth and depth of river. What's more, they found no boats. Based on these,they hold strong believe Palean people have no opportunities to bring theirbaskets to Lithods. Yet, it is wrong. Almost everything changes all the time.The author's inference rests on the poor assumption that the Brim River hasremained unchanged during the long years. Maybe in their time, no river existedand they did not need to take boats to trade. We can imagine somepictures, for instance, Palean people sold their baskets to Lithods or Lithods peopleliked the baskets very much, toke them and stored them. Therefore, it is notsurprising to find some baskets in Lithods.
In sum, the conclusion reached in thisargument is valid and misleading. To make it logically acceptable, the arguerwould have to find another many more potent evidences to buttress thestatement.
作者: 普渡哥 时间: 2012-4-6 22:39
结尾太草草了事了。建议参考一些满分作文的范例。
作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2012-4-7 01:09
中间段落太长,建议精炼下,然后再多写一到两个段落,你找的漏洞肯定不全
作者: xuanxuanxue 时间: 2012-4-7 09:52
漏洞不全,额~~还有哪点,求教呀~~这个是http://forum.chasedream.com/GRE_AW/thread-699074-1-1.html我的提纲,有什么不足么?
作者: xuanxuanxue 时间: 2012-4-7 09:53
好的,我再参考修改~
作者: Jugg 时间: 2012-4-8 22:34
借鉴lz的组合我的提纲~
1.前提distinctive需要证据(可能调查地区过少、由于洪水地震来自别的地方、一些人迁徙)
2.L地区是否可能来自P需要证据
2.1 文中试图提出河宽水深,没有船只否定从P运到L,这需要证据(河水状态可能变、没有船只可能有技术)
2.2 即使不能船运输,有没有可能通过贸易、洪水等使其在L出现,也要证据
证明前提不正确,则肯定不独有
证明L的basket不是从P得来,则也不独有
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