标题: 济南新东方老师对一篇例文的分析 [打印本页] 作者: williamk 时间: 2012-2-29 10:07 标题: 济南新东方老师对一篇例文的分析 我们先来看一下这篇范文 Topic: What most human beings really want to attain is not knowledge, but certainty. Gaining real knowledge requires taking risks and keeping the mind opening but most people prefer to be reassured rather than to learn the complex and often unsettling truth about anything.
It seems that many people have formed an unrealistic picture of the relationship between certainty and knowledge or truth. I am always amazed when I hear people saying that neither learning nor keeping an open mind can attain certainty. As far as I am concerned, if seeking reassurance, people need to gain real knowledge and make it possible for them to require unceasing study and keeping an open mind.
To begin with, only after people have gained real knowledge can they be competent for a better comprehension of the world. As is known to all, revolution in the long historical river, no one can ignore the fact that the process whose human has undergone from ignorance to civilization.
The most convincing example is the 'Heliocentric Theory" of Copernicus, whose theory overthrew the opinions dominated by Aristotle, Ptolemy and Christianity and his ideas have changed the process of human civilization. This, however, is not the first such revolution in astronomical history or even in other historical disciplines, and probably will not be the last one either.
Furthermore, human being's unremitting pursuit of knowledge is not for the sake of knowledge, but largely for the sake of their settled life goals and acquiring a degree of certainty about them.
After all, in an increasingly competitive society, living requires people hold not only professional knowledge in which is concerned with their own field in the workplace, but also various other subjects. In fact, in the present society, many successful people tend to study hard to be knowledgeable. Therefore, we can be convinced by this reason that knowledge is power and, it is important to arm oneself with it.
Finally, the sustainable development of society requires human beings to study unceasingly and keep an open mind. Because we live in a information-explosion and an era of the rapid development of scientific technology, if we hope to keep up with the times，we need constant study and to renew our ideas for the appropriate situation of continuing the development of society. As we all know, it is never too late to learn.
In conclusion, if to obtain certainty, people must gain real knowledge in order to have a better comprehension of the world and then acquire a positive understanding of their goals , then unceasing study and maintaining and open mind for adapting to the situation of the continuing development of society, is required.
正是因为对题目的不理解，作者没有办法做任何深入的探讨，只能想很多“思路”，写很多段，好像都在围绕题目讲，但是每一段都短短的，没有任何发展，段与段之间也没有实质的逻辑联系，这就是"lack of focus and cohesions"。
比如作者举哥白尼提出日心说的例子，只有一句话“The most convincing example is the 'Heliocentric Theory" of Copernicus, whose theory overthrew the opinions dominated by Aristotle, Ptolemy and Christianity and his ideas have changed the process of human civilization.”是否convincing不是你自己说了算的，你要分析给读者为什么这个例子能够证明你的观点。我们讨论的是人们追求的是踏实还是真理，而这个例子的结论是哥白尼的观点改变了人类文明的轨迹。这只能说明这个观点本身是“truth”，可是这跟踏不踏实有什么关系呢？如果说当时人们的心理反应的话的，坚信地球是上帝造物的中心每周去教堂接受这样观念的人们倒是大大的“不淡定”了一下呢。这不恰好说明“What most human beings really want to attain is not knowledge, but certainty.”吗？可见作者并不理解例子跟题目的关系，只是觉得“靠点边儿”就生拉硬拽在这里，还心虚的加上most convincing。