ChaseDream
标题: 【写作小分队】prodliu 作文，欢迎拍砖啊，越多越好 [打印本页]
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-2-27 22:44
标题: 【写作小分队】prodliu 作文，欢迎拍砖啊，越多越好
Recently, many newtechnological devices are released to public such as ipad and iphone and thatsurges many people to stay up late only to buy one. Well, sometimes, owing anewly released device could make a person fashion and looked different. But inmy opinion, there are some disadvantages in these technological devices, and Iprefer to own one until it is popular.
First of all, I just thinkthat we need to consider others’ opinions before buying something, cause peoplewho have used the device that you want to buy could give you some beneficialadvices, for example, they may tell you the characteristics, the performancesand the functions about the device that could help you to make a smartdecision. While in some cases, you may experience a situation that you buy adevice with a surge of impulsion and then are regretful for such a unwisedecision.
Moreover, some newly releaseddevices will appear flaws in design or function, and it is really inconvenientand annoying to sent device back for repairing. So, we had better wait to buyuntil some problems within the devices are tackled, in case we will not evolvedin troublesome. For instance, we could find some suggests on the Internet tosee evaluations made by other people and then decide whether to buy or not.
Admittedly, owning a newtechnological device when it becomes available could make your fashion, and youwill enjoy many advanced techniques, but it also needs you to take risks whileyou are enjoying some advantages of the device. Thus, it would better to buy adevice until it becomes popular.
Finally, some more attractiveapplications would be released during a period of time, so if you want to makefully use of the device, you need to control your curiosity and wait till moreinteresting applications are programed that make your life convenient.
To sum up, new technologicaldevices are pretty crucial and useful for people, they could release jobburden, make life amazing, and add more fun into daily life, but they stillcontain risks. So it is wise to buy as many people have one.
作者: jiaosisisisi 时间: 2012-2-28 00:49
Life in ancient time wasextremelyhard for people and there used to be no heatings in the winter, no cars to go further, or even no intermedia to communicate with other people.Thanks to the great inventions, such asair-conditioners, automobiles and cell phones, etc.They have significantly changed people's lives. From my view, though science and technology develop in a high speed, the most significant improvements have already happened.
The airconditioner, as far as I'm concerned,has becomeone of the most important inventionstoimprovepeople's living conditions in the past 100 years.It is a high-tech machine which can be controlled to adjust the temperature to make people feel comfortable only in a couple of minutes. By setting it to a lower temperature, we can have a even cooler summer day instead of waving fans orwiping sweat.Likewise, a central heating provides people an easy access to enjoying a warm winter without burning coals. For the great convenience and powerful functions, air-conditioners are widely accepted by a majority of people and make signCificantcontributionstoimprovingpeople's living standard,though they will beproduced moremultifunctionalwith the development of technology in the future.
Also, carshavesucceeded in making surprising improvements in people's lives. As we all know, cars, which include taxis, trucks, buses and so on, haveadaptedto(satisfied会不会好一些)all sorts of requirements in the modern society. We couldnever haveimagined that one day we can reach everywhere we want with the help of automobiles freely.（我理解你的汉语意思是“之前的野人们，根本就没敢想过，他们居然可以做汽车到处跑”你的虚拟语气使用错了，可以肯定。
我建议一种表达However ，our ancestors would never imagined that they should （shoud可以表示惊讶的语气）be able to reach everywhere with a tool called “car "）For example， In Han Dynastywhen there werenocars,people made use of horses as a kind of transportationand had to tolerate theinconvenience.At that time, it usuallytookpeopleas long asa few days（我建议你用as long as 就是希望你可以把时间看起来非常漫长，来支撑你的论述！所以用a few就与long 矛盾了，建议用several）toreport the situation of the war to the emperor,thus,soldiershad to wait for the permission from the general to attack enemies. The delays often led to missing the best opportunityof fighting againstthe enemies. However, cars have shortened the time spending in the long-distance places and accelerated people's connections.
Furthermore, the more frequent and swifter communication among people benefited from cell phones is another improvement taken place.(纠结是因为，第一个形容词是the more 表示形容词比较极and后连接的adj又是er表示，很容易让人误会，而且我感觉到你这句是一个show off 句型，但是让人感觉，或者 至少，我读了三遍没有读懂。ETS 不喜欢puzzled的句子吧。。。或者是我的理解问题。。。)Unlike （GMAT语法认为like 或者unlike必须连接与主句对等成分的东西，我理解你的意思是表达，eg. Unlike Jim,Rose is a idiot!）making use of doves to deliver messages or making fires as signals, cell phones changed people's lives in an unbelievable way. In just a few seconds, a friend from the opposite site of the world is able to accept our texting message sent by our cell phones. How fantastic the cell phones are!Just as the advertisement of Iphone 4Ssays, mobile phones actually "changed the world for a second time".
Admittedly, we haveabundantconfidence in the prospective development of science and technology.(这个地方有异议所以没有改)However, the most significantimprovementsindeed have taken place in changing people's living conditions, transportations and communications.
作者: jiaosisisisi 时间: 2012-2-28 00:55
囧了 不能删。。。。发错了
sorry ~~~~
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2012-2-28 18:06
我还以为有人把我的活干了呢。。。。
? Recently, many new technological devices are released to public such as ipad and iphone（名词裸奔了，加冠词或者复数） and that surges（小细节） many people to stay up late only to buy one. Well, sometimes, owing（owing有两个意思adj. 未付的；欠着的v. 欠；把…归功于）
anewly（newly？我猜想是这个） released device could make a person fashion and looked（动词不平行，前面是make） different. But in my opinion, there are some disadvantages in these technological devices（awkward）, and I prefer to own one until it is popular.
First of all, I just think that we need to consider others’ opinions before buying something, cause（because） people who have used the device that （which）you want to buy could（书面语法中could只表示时态can） give you some beneficial advices, for example, they（逻辑指代people 语法指代advices） may tell you the characteristics, the performances and the functions about the device that could help you to make a smart decision. While in some cases, you may experience a situation that you buy device（裸奔了） with a surge of impulsion and then are regretful for such a unwise decision.
Moreover, some newly released devices will（would吧，已经发布的产品可能会出现问题，站在过去说将来） appear flaws in design or function, and it is really inconvenient and annoying to sent device（又裸了） back for repairing（GMAT语法中表目的用 to do ）. So, we had better wait to buy until some problems within the devices are tackled（问题解决还是用solve ）, in case we will not evolved in troublesome. For instance, we could find some suggests（这个是动词） on the Internet to see evaluations made（出现连个动词，不如在made前面加which） by other people and then decide whether to buy or not.
Admittedly, owning a new technological device when it becomes available could make your （you）fashion, and you will enjoy many advanced techniques, but it also needs you to take risks while （when 是不是更好）you are enjoying（直接enjoy吧和前面平行） some advantages of the device. Thus, it would better to buy device（裸奔+拼写错误，拼写已经改正） until it becomes popular.
Finally, some more attractive applications would be released during a period of time, so if you want to make fully use of（句型是make full use of） the device, you need to control your curiosity and wait till more interesting applications are programed（双写+ed） that make your life convenient.
To sum up, new technologicaldevices are pretty crucial and useful for people, they could release jobburden, make life amazing, and add more fun into daily life, but they stillcontain risks. So it is wise to buy as many people have one.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-2-28 21:33
Recently, many newtechnological devices are released to public such as the ipad and the iphone that surges many people to stay up late only to buy one. Well, sometimes, buying a newly released device could make a person fashion and looked different(这里想用make sb adj). But in my opinion, these technological devices have some hidden troubles, and I prefer to own one until it is popular.
First of all, I just thinkthat we need to consider others’ opinions before buying something, because peoplewho have used the device that you want to buy can give you some beneficialadvices, for example, people may tell you the characteristics, the performancesand the functions about the device that could help you to make a smartdecision. While in some cases, you may experience a situation that you buy a device with a surge of impulsion and then are regretful for such a unwise decision.
Moreover, some newly released devices would appear flaws in design or function, and it is really inconvenient and annoying to sent the device back to repair. So, we had better wait to buyuntil some problems within the devices are tackled, in case we will not evolvedin troublesome. For instance, we could find some suggestions on the Internet tosee evaluations which made by other people and then decide whether to buy or not.
Admittedly, owning a newtechnological device when it becomes available could make you fashion, and youwill enjoy many advanced techniques, but it also needs you to take risks whileyou are enjoying some advantages of the device. Thus, it would better to buy adevice until it becomes popular.
Finally, some more attractive applications would be released during a period of time, so if you want to make full use of the device, you need to control your curiosity and wait till more interesting applications are programmed that make your life convenient.
To sum up, new technological devices are pretty crucial and useful for people, they could release job burden, make life amazing, and add more fun into daily life, but they still contain risks. So it is wise to buy as many people have one.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-2-28 21:33
改了一遍了，大概给个分吧
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-1 00:06
229独立作文
With a rapid development oftechnology, people more industries discharged more contaminated waste into ourenvironment, such as greenhouse gases and polluted water, which can do harmfulto human’s health. In view of the seriousness of these problems, effectivemeasures should be taken before things get worse. Personally, I persist thatthese important problems that are closely related to our lives can be solved inour lifetime as long as we take effort to confront with and to resolve them.
To begin with, I think thatit is our responsibilities to solve these problems. We live on earth, whichprovides everything we want, so we just consume resources unscrupulously. Buthumans seem to fail to take into account the fact that every resource will bedepleted sooner or later, we just make full use of the resource withoutconsidering the outcome when the resource run out of. For example, thepetroleum, the natural gases and the coal are non-renewable resources, and areessential materials for human beings. Our cars need petroleum to be started,and people need gases to cook and warm, if we consume them without awell-planned schedule, we will pay for it in the future. Thus, I believe thatonly if people contemplate the consequence of these problems and spend noeffort to deal with them, we can control the situation and achieve sustainabledevelopment.
Moreover, our technologicalimprovements guarantee us to resolve these problems. Actually, our scientistshave developed some useful methods to find a solution to these problems. Forinstance, scientists discover a kind of bacteria can disintegrate the toxicwaste into water and non-toxic substances. Thus, I can imagine not too far inthe future, we can find ways to protect our environment.
Admittedly, it may take sucha long way to solve these problems, and sometimes many obstacles will block theway to success, however, just as the old saying goes, where there is a will,there is a way, we can overcome the difficulties and cross over the barriersahead of us provided we have the faith.
Finally, we need to solvethese problems for our descendants. We cannot hold the philosophy that it isbest to use the resources while it is still economically profitable to do so,and we need to protect them for our children. If we do not face them and leavethem to the next generation, the situation may become worse that can be adisaster for our descendants. So if we think about our next generation, we willtry our best to solve problems and eventually construct a gorgeous space forour children to live.
To sum up, I have faith indealing with all problems, only if proper measures are taken to restrictdischarging and great efforts are made to achieve goals.
作者: jiaosisisisi 时间: 2012-3-2 00:54
你的文章 ，我改了一半了 。。。。中午可以给你改好啊
实在抱歉啊
我的已经贴出来了
在我的 帖子里 ~~~你 抽空可以去看下的
我们貌似是互改的~~~
作者: jiaosisisisi 时间: 2012-3-2 14:12
229独立作文 我强烈建议你再找下Serena 二次修改下你这篇文章，她非常心细，你去Q里让她帮你改下吧！她作文功底异常强大，让她给你改完， 你一定会收获巨大的 ！！
好了！下面是我的粗浅意见~~~~
蓝色 表示 我感觉有问题 以及附加我的观点
红色 表示 很不错的，值得我学习的
绿色 表示 感后感
With a rapid development oftechnology, people more industries discharged more contaminated waste into ourenvironment, such as greenhouse gases and polluted water, which canIn view of the seriousness of these problemsdo harmfulto human’s health(do harm to ), effectivemeasures should be taken before things get worse. Personally, I persist thatthese important problems that are closely related to our lives can be solved inour lifetime as long as we take effort to confront with and to resolve them.
(这句太长了，建议断句，可以用几个简单句子比较nice)
To begin with, I think thatit is （is 与后面的复数不一致）our responsibilities to solve these problems. We live on earth, whichprovides everything we want, so we just consume resources unscrupulously. Buthumans seem to fail to take into account （考虑，用得很不错~~~赞）the fact that every resource will bedepleted sooner or later, we just make full use of the resource withoutconsidering the outcome when the resource run out of（of 后面没有宾语了，所以建议去掉of）. For example, thepetroleum, the natural gases and the coal are non-renewable resources,（这个表达很不错）and areessential materials for human beings. Our cars need petroleum to be started（建议尽量用主动句表达会舒服点）,and people need gases to cook and warm, if we consume them without awell-planned schedule, we will pay for it in the future. Thus, I believe thatonly if people contemplate the consequence of these problems and spend noeffort（spare no
Effort 用的比较多） to deal with them, we can control the situation and achieve sustainabledevelopment.
（看你写了这么多，应该花了不少功夫吧！赞一下~
不过貌似华丽词汇其实没必要非常多，意思可以尽简单地表达出来会更好！
而且注意篇幅，你这一段其实写的字数已经很多了）
Moreover, our technologicalimprovements guarantee us to resolve （resolve表示决心比较多，这里用solve比较nice）these problems. Actually, our scientistshave developed some useful methods to find a solution to these problems. Forinstance, scientists discover a kind of bacteria can disintegrate the toxicwaste into（ into 表示一个动作的方向，我觉得如果表示方位in 比较好） water and non-toxic substances. Thus, I can imagine not too far inthe future, we can find ways to protect our environment.（这句有点chinglish，如果是我会这样写，
Thus ,it won't be too long for us to find effective ways to protect our environment .）
Admittedly, it may take sucha long way to solve these problems, and sometimes many obstacles will block theway to success, however, just as the old saying goes, where there is a will,there is a way, we can overcome the difficulties and cross over the barriersahead of us provided we have the faith.(这一段在文中的作用感觉没有那么necessary，建议可以把观点尽量明晰)
Finally, we need to solvethese problems for our descendants. We cannot hold the philosophy that it isbest to use the resources while it is still economically profitable to do so,and we need to protect them for our children. （前两句感觉是在表达一个意思，希望可以精简下）If we do not face them and leavethem to the next generation, the situation may become worse that can be adisaster for our descendants. So if we think about our next generation, we willtry our best to solve problems and eventually construct a gorgeous space forour children to live.
To sum up, I have faith indealing with all problems, only if proper measures are taken to restrictdischarging and great efforts are made to achieve goals.
评语：
Zan :你的词汇量很大啊，很多华丽辞藻我都不会啊~~~学习！
挑毛病：firstly，你的文章貌似结构如果能够更清晰的话，就好了。
Secondly，你的字数统计超过450+，我觉得貌似有点多了吧一般 三百多是比较合适的~~~
Finally，记得写提纲，多多练习，加油吧！
P.S,能不能弱弱问下 你这篇文章 写完用了多久时间呢。。。
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-12 17:46
是在很不好意思，前几天我一直在忙着写论文，所以没上网，这么久才回你， 229那篇我都是按规定时间写的，因为之前考过了，所以写的比较快。 还有就是我觉得最好还是有一个让步过渡段，就是admittedly那段，这样文章更具说服力和完整，因为不管我们同意还是不同意观点，都会有反例的，说的全面一些更好。谢谢指点
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-12 17:51
Thus, I can imagine not too far inthe future, we can find ways to protect our environment.（这句有点chinglish，如果是我会这样写，
Thus ,it won't be too long for us to find effective ways to protect our environment .）
谢谢，这句写的确实chinglish
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-12 17:55
312独立作文
Recent years, there is a weird phenomenon that when people making friends sometimes they depend on wealth(financial situation). They have a general theory that the rich only can make friends with some one who have equal status and wealth, or even have more money. As far as I am concerned, two people can be good friends no matter who is rich, because good friends are linked not by money, but by their interests, goals and virtues.
First and foremost, it is universally acknowledge that good friends or closed friends must have interests in common, it is a crucial bond between two people. They can share the same sports, music and films, and their relationships will improved and be intimated during conversations or talking. Taking my own experience for example, Damon is my best friend, and we have been good friends since we were kids. Because we both love soccer, we often together to see games at stadium on weekends, and after that we talk our feelings about the display and share our views on the team we both support, that is really a effective way to improve our friendship and make us better know about each other. Therefore, money cannot bring two people together, interests can.
Moreover, I think the most important quality of good friends is loyalty, which means he is always being honest to you and staying right beside you. Your friends can share not only your happiness, but also your sorrows. Sometimes, your friends can help you overcome frustrations and tough tasks. Examples abound in society, when Steve Jobs came back to Apple, his company was in a difficult situation, and he needed supports to reconstruct the company. Many of his friends immediately did their utmost to offer help to Steve, and finally make Apple back to prosperity. I believe Steve’s friends will not consider whether he is a rich man, they trust him and have faith that he can build one of the greatest companies all over the world, and of course Steve did. So, friends need loyalty, not money.
Admittedly, if one of your friends is rich, it could be good news for you, because it means that he could offer you financial assistant when you need help. Just as the old saying goes that a friend indeed is a friend in need, your friend must think you trustworthy or he will not lent money to you. However, only treat wealthy as the most significant standard while choosing friends is not wise decision.
Finally, friend is not your ATM, friend is a person who you can learn from. I am willingly to make friends with someone who is well-experienced of life, so many of my friends are seniors. I could listen to their life stories and absorb experiences, and I value these things as my lifelong treasures.
In conclusion, two people can be good friends as long as they share the same interests, value the same criteria of life and hold the same perspective of issues.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-12 17:57
312 tpo2 综合
In the lecture, the speaker states a research conducted by a firm that assembled a group of people into a team to approach new projects. He says that the theory stated in passage was jeopardized by the outcome of the research and in some degree inaccurate when compared to what happened in reality.
First of all, the professor points that some members get a free ride, they just did not contribute much at all. But if their team does a good job, they could benefit from the recognition the team gets, because no names are named in the projects. This opinion disagrees with what the reading material narrates that a group of people has a wider range of knowledge and skills that is likely to make the projects better implement.
Moreover, a team sometimes has to take a long time to reach consensus that slow the process of decision. They need a lot of meetings to make an agreement among team members. Therefore, the lecturer has an opposite view about a group of team could work quickly.
Finally, in a team, some influential persons may control the direction. They sometimes decide the direction of a project just because they are considered as influence people by others. Their opinions will carry on without further discussions, and others' people opinion will be ignored. At the end, if the project fails, the blame would be placed on all members of the group. So working as group will not generate more far-reaching result as the passage persists.
To sum up, the contents in the reading are jeopardized by the speaker and the lecturer has completely different points about the topic,
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-13 18:02
Recently, some firms plan to offer their employees a three-day work time instead of normal five days a week. Managers hold the philosophy that working three days a week can increase company profits, reduce employees workload and change unemployment situation. However, I think that this plan is not gorgeous as people believe, and three arguments stated below to substantiate my point.
First of all, the plan will force company to spend more, because the same mount of work is distributed to employees who work three days a week will as a result need more people involved in company, and adding new employees means more money to invest. Additionally, the company needs to provide extra training programs to help new employees adapt to job as soon as possible, let alone the medical benefits and the cost office spaces and computers. All of these additional expenditures will cut the profits.
Moreover, the majority of socialists believe this plan will eventually reduce unemployment rates. They think that less work time may create more available jobs, and thus more workers are needed. However, these people who hold optimistic attitude to the plan ignore an alternative for the company. The employers would ask their employees to work overtime in order to make up different. This would pose a great threat to job pleasant and do nothing to solve unemployment problem.
Admittedly, asking people to work three days will definitely provide employees more free times, they can spend more time with their families such as traveling abroad with wife and children. Cutting off work time is not, however, the only approach possible.
Finally, working three days will lower the quality of life, rather than improve it. Working time shorter can reduce employee jobs’ stability, which would harm their chances for a job promotion. And they are more likely to be the first to lose jobs during an economic downtown or financial crisis, because the company prefers to retain five days employees in management position for ensure continuous coverage and consistent supervision.
To sum up, I am inclined to work five days a week to keep my professional skills and push me forward.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-13 18:05
313 综合
The lecturer holds different opinions about the dinosaurs and challenges the facts that dinosaurs are endothermy. To substantiate her theory, she points out three reasons.
First of all, there are some other ways for Polar dinosaurs to live through the cold weather. The speaker points out the weather in the period when dinosaurs appeared may be warmer than it is today. Even though the weather is harsh, dinosaurs might migrate to other warmer regions or just hibernate during the cold weather. Therefore the professor disagrees with what stated in the passage that the finding of fossils in polar region means dinosaurs are endothermy.
Moreover, there is another explanation for the leg position. Although dinosaurs have legs underneath their bodies, it cannot prove they are endothemy. On the other hand, the leg position could be a possibility to support the huge weight of dinosaurs and not a connection between dinosaurs and endothermy.
Furthermore, the professor admits that dinosaurs indeed have a bone structure called Haversian canals, which is a characteristic of endothermy. However, they also have growth rings on bones. These rings suggest the period when dinosaurs grew up, and abundant of evidences show that the growth rings stop growing or just grow slower during a cold climate. Thus, the bone structure cannot prove the dinosaurs are endothermy.
To sum up, the professor totally disagrees with the facts narrated in the passage by giving reasons to buttress her idea that dinosaurs are not tndothermy.
作者: jasonliu119 时间: 2012-3-13 18:58
Recent years, there is a weird phenomenon that when people making friends sometimes they depend on wealth(financial situation). They have a general theory that the rich only can make friends with some one who have equal status and wealth, or even have more money. As far as I am concerned, two people can be good friends no matter who is rich,（改为despite of the financial situation吧，凭语感） because good friends are linked not by money, but by their interests, goals and virtues.
First and foremost, it is universally acknowledge（被动） that good friends or closed friends （取一个就可以了吧，有点罗嗦）must have interests in common, it（断句，改为It，或者用which，变从句） is a crucial bond between two people. They can share the same sports, music and films, and their relationships will improved and be intimated（become intimated） during conversations or talking. Taking my own experience for example, （感觉这里有个祈使句好吧，否则根据语法，take的主语就是Damon了）Damon is my best friend, and we have been good friends since we were kids. Because we both love soccer, we often together to see games at stadium on weekends, and（断句） after that we talk our feelings about the display and share our views on the team we both support, that is really a effective way to improve our friendship and make us better know about each other. Therefore, money cannot bring two people together, interests can（用个强调句吧，it is interest that。。。rather than money）
eover, I think the most important quality of good friends is loyalty, which means he is always being honest to you and staying right beside you. Your friends can share not only your happiness, but also your sorrows. Sometimes, your friends can help you overcome frustrations and tough tasks. Examples abound in society, when Steve Jobs came back to Apple, his company was in a difficult situation, and he needed supports to reconstruct the company. Many of his friends immediately did their utmost to offer help to Steve, and finally make Apple back to prosperity. I believe Steve’s friends will not consider whether he is a richman, 这里要断句they trust him and have faith that he can build one of the greatest companies all over the world, and of course Steve did. So, friends need loyalty, not money.（总结句不够有力啊。改为What true friendship need is loyaty, not money.)
ur friends is rich, it could be good news for you, because it means that he could offer you financial assistant when you need help. Just as the old saying goes that a friend indeed is a friend in need, your friend must think you trustworthy or he will not lent money to you. However, only treat wealthy as the most significant standard while choosing friends is not wise decision.(这里举个例子吧，说某年某月你有同学病了，然后大家捐款、、、、）
y, friend is not your ATM, friend is a person who you can learn from. I am willingly to make friends with someone who is well-experienced of life, so many of my friends are seniors. I could listen to their life stories and absorb experiences, and I value these things as my lifelong treasures. （个人感觉你列了四个主体段，最后两个不够有力；还不如你写三个有力、例证充分的主体段）
In conclusion, two people can be good friends as long as they share the same interests, value the same criteria of life and hold the same perspective of issues.
好了，以上就是我的评价。总体语言流畅，理由提充分的。
特别注意断句的问题，一个句子除非用了从句，否则是绝对绝对不容许有两个主语的。（不要以为逗号在中间就可以了。） by Jason
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-13 22:42
Jason 昨天改了两篇哦，辛苦了辛苦了。奖励一只
，里面装的110的成绩单。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-14 13:34
3.13 独立修改
蓝色是你本来的，红色是我的感觉，黄色是精彩的~~~
Recently, some firms plan to offer their employees a three-day work time（scheme好一点吧） instead of normal five days a week. Managers hold the philosophy that working three days a week can increase company profits, reduce employees（’） workload and change unemployment situation (revert unemployment 感觉change有变好和变坏两种可能). However, I think that this plan is not gorgeous as people believe, and three arguments stated below to（will 不然是不是木有V了） substantiate my point.
First of all, the plan will force company to spend more, because the same mount of work（+which 不然这句是run-on吧, work is distributed…work will need…） is distributed to employees who work three days a week will as a result need more people involved in company (as a result.用在句尾通顺一点。我只见过as a result of 用在句中，但是是“由于”的意思), and adding new employees means more money（capital） to invest. Additionally, the company needs to provide extra training programs to help new employees adapt to job as soon as possible, let alone the medical benefits and the cost（costly） office spaces and computers (facilities. 感觉office space 跟office facility 在一起更般配，都比较范). All of these additional expenditures will cut the (overall) profits.(Good point !!!)
Moreover, the majority of socialists believe(+that 哈哈跟我一样) this plan will eventually reduce unemployment rates. They think that less work time may create more available jobs, and thus more workers are needed.（这是承上？干嘛用moreover） However, these people who hold optimistic attitude to（toward） the plan ignore an alternative for the company. (.改成----或者：)The employers would ask their employees to work overtime in order to make up different (?). This would pose a great threat to job pleasant (comfort) and do nothing to solve unemployment problem.
Admittedly, asking people to work three days will definitely provide employees more free times（time 那个times是”次数”）,(+as 加个连词连接两个句子就行) they can spend more time with their families such as traveling abroad with wife and children. Cutting off（删去）work time is not, however, the only approach possible.（我发现我俩写作风格有点像吧，总有承让对方的段子。建议你这里再具体讲一个alternative，而且可转移到倒数第二段）
Finally, working three days will lower the quality of life, rather than improve it. Working time shorter（Shorter working time） can reduce employee jobs’stability (employee’s job stability大部分情况下，只有有生命的东西的所有格才’s，其他用of那种。这里我觉得job stability间可不用), which would harm their chances for a job promotion. And they are more likely to be the first to lose jobs（be laid off 看job看腻了，来点变化）during an economic downtown（turndown/recession 哈哈好搞笑） or financial crisis, because the company prefers to retainfive days employees (感觉ambiguity，这个大定语我也不太确定，乱造的) in management position for（to） ensure continuous coverage（看不懂好抽象啊） and consistent supervision.
To sum up, I am inclined to work five days a week to keep（sharpen） my professional skills and push me forward.（这里谁push你了,不雅。be motivated to work even better.）
我读着你的文字就像读我自己写的一样。。。让我自恋一下。
。其实主要是观点相似，结构相似，甚至有些词的选择都一样。
你的句子一般比较长，注意不要run-on了。楼上Jason建议的挺好。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-14 13:38
啊，回来了。刚意识到综合也是我改你的。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-14 13:40
啊！你综合写的神马？
3月13日 TPO3
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-14 14:51
Recently, somefirms plan to offer their employees a three-day work scheme instead of normal fivedays a week. Managers hold the philosophy that working three days a week canincrease company profits, reduce employees’ workload and change unemploymentsituation (revert unemployment). However, I think that this plan is notgorgeous as people believe, and three arguments stated below will substantiatemy point.
First of all, theplan will force company to spend more, because the same mount of work, whichis distributed to employees who work three days a week, will get morepeople involved in company, and add new employees that means more money (capital)to invest. Additionally, the company needs to provide extra training programsto help new employees adapt to job as soon as possible, let alone the medical benefitsand the costlyoffice spaces and computers (facilities). All of these additional expenditureswill cut the profits.
Moreover, themajority of socialists believe that this plan will eventually reduce unemploymentrates. They simply think that less work time may create more available jobs, andthus more workers are needed. However, these people who hold optimisticattitude towardsthe plan ignore an alternative for the company. The employers would ask theiremployees to work overtime in order to make up different. This would pose agreat threat to job pleasant (comfort) and do nothing to solve unemploymentproblem.
Finally, workingthree days will lower the quality of life, rather than improve it. Working timeshorter(shorterworking schedule) can/may更婉转一些 reduce employee’s jobs stability, which(which用的也不对，不能指前面整句话) and this situation would harm their chancesfor a job promotion. Sometimes they are more likely to be the first tolose jobs during an economic downtown (downturn) or financial crisis, because thecompany prefers to retain five days employees in management position for ensurecontinuous coverage and consistent supervision.(翻译一下：因为公司往往更倾向于那些一周工作五天的员工在管理部门，为了可以使公司可以更好的经营和监管下去。这里的continuous coverage可以理解为连续经营，consistent supervision是持续监管。我在economic上看到的)
Admittedly, askingpeople to work three days will definitely provide employees more free-controltime, as they can spend more time with their families such as traveling abroadwith wife and children. Cutting off(我觉得这个不删，这句我的意思说减少工作时间不是唯一的方法) work time is not, however, the only approach possible.Examplesabound in daily life. Many companies choose to arrange a group trip forstimulation. Not only can employees enjoy beautiful sceneries with family members,but also develop the relationship among colleagues. What a win-win plan!
To sum up, I aminclined to work five days a week, for this time-schedule maintain myprofessional skills and motivate me to work assiduously.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-14 15:29
我枯竭了，以后的问题请Jason来解答。我也要去出去耍耍，不想陷入文字狱了。。。
Recently, somefirms plan to offer their employees a three-day work scheme instead of normal fivedays a week. Managers hold the philosophy that working three days a week canincrease company profits, reduce employees’ workload and change unemployment situation(combat joblessness 这个怎么样~). However, I think that this plan is notgorgeous as people believe, and three arguments stated below will substantiatemy point.
First of all, the plan will force company to spend more, because the same mount of work, which is distributed to employees who work three days a week, will get more people involved in company, and add new employees that means more money (capital) to invest.（这个句子太长了吧。建议and adding new employees means more money to invest） Additionally, the company needs to provide extra training programs to help new employees adapt to job as soon as possible, let alone the medical benefitsand the costly office spaces and computers (facilities). All of these additional expenditures will cut the profits.
Moreover, themajority of socialists believe that this plan will eventually reduce unemploymentrates. They simply think that less work time may create more available jobs, andthus more workers are needed. However, these people who hold optimisticattitude towards the plan ignore an alternative for the company. The employers would ask theiremployees to work overtime in order to make up different. This would pose agreat threat to job pleasant (comfort) （job pleasant是固定搭配么？job pleasure?）and do nothing to solve unemploymentproblem.
Finally, working three days will lower the quality of life, rather than improve it. Working time shorter(shorter working schedule)(我还是觉得你原来那个语序混乱) can/may更婉转一些reduce employee’s jobs stability, which(which用的也不对，不能指前面整句话) and this situation would harm their chances for a job promotion（嗯，那就改成thus would harm....）. Sometimes they are more likely to be the first tolose jobs during an economic downtown (downturn) （你什么意思）or financial crisis, because thecompany prefers to retain five days employees in management position for ensurecontinuous coverage and consistent supervision.(翻译一下：因为公司往往更倾向于那些一周工作五天的员工在管理部门，为了可以使公司可以更好的经营和监管下去。这里的continuous coverage可以理解为连续经营，consistent supervision是持续监管。我在economic上看到的) （好吧，很厉害
）
Admittedly, askingpeople to work three days will definitely provide employees more free-controltime, as they can spend more time with their families such as traveling abroadwith wife and children. Cutting off(我觉得这个不删，这句我的意思说减少工作时间不是唯一的方法) （我知道你的意思，就是觉得cutting working hours就可以了，没必要cut off "切断，隔离"）work time is not, however, the only approach possible. Examples abound in daily life.(你怎么这么喜欢这句话，哈哈) Many companies choose to arrange a group trip for （morale）stimulation. Not only can employees enjoy beautiful sceneries with family members,but also develop the relationship（为什么我一直觉得这个词组是谈恋爱的意思）among colleagues. What a win-win plan!
To sum up, I am inclined to work five days a week, for this time-schedule maintain my professional skills and motivate me to work assiduously.（V三单呢~）
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-17 00:15
3月15日 101210 NAWhich do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing twoor more projects at the same time?
Nowadays, some people are more inclined tobegin to deal with a project after completing another, while others prefer todo two or more projects simultaneously. In my point of view, the issue that whetherstarting projects one by one or doing some projects at the same time depends onthe attribute of the projects, because choosing the proper method will make youreceive multiple effectiveness.
First of all, I think that projects thatare closely correlated with each other could be done at the same time. For onething, relative items sometimes contain similar motif. They either possess identicalmechanism or can be analyzed by same method, dealing with theses projects canhelp you find the same principle or theory to handle, and inspire you todiscover a better solution to complete them. Taking my own experience forexample, once I prepared for the term exams in accounting, and I found ageneral way to remember many professional terms, as a result I got high scoresin each subject. Moreover, there is really no need to separate the projectsespecially projects are in common. Starting same projects simultaneously canincrease your working efficient and effectiveness, and save your time to doother things you like, such as swimming, playing the piano or just having abreak.
In addition, while conducting differenttypes of projects, people should cope with one by one. On one hand, focusing onone thing can concentrate your attention to deal with only one project. This coulddefinitely assist you to complete the case more thoroughly, because you havetried your utmost to do. On the other hand, people can make a proper scheduleto handle these projects. We all know it is impossible for us to manage so manydifferent things at the same time, because it could exhaust us, and leads toany project may not be finished perfectly. So, classifying these differentprojects and concentrating your energy on a single project will absolutely improveeffectiveness and avoiding confliction from different projects. For instance,when I was senior, I had an internship at a financial department. And at thebeginning, there are so many projects awaiting for me to deal with, and Iapplied my professional skills to classify the projects, and then focus on eachpart, so it is conceivable that I finished my job perfectly.
To sum up, sometimes we cannot keep our oldrules and are unwillingly to make a change, especially when we face with theabove issue. We need to analyze the situation and choose the best method tosolve difficulties.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-17 15:46
3.15 修改
Nowadays, some people are more inclined to begin to deal with a project after completing another, while others prefer to do two or more projects simultaneously. In my point of view, the issue that whether （读着别扭，查一下，只发现whether + 句子/to do http://www.thefreedictionary.com/whether）starting projects one by one or doing some projects at the same time depends on the attribute of the projects, because choosing the proper method will make you receive multiple effectiveness.（yield twice the results with half effort.事半功倍）
First of all, I think that projects that are closely correlated with each other could be done at the same time. For one thing, relative items sometimes contain similar motif.They either possess identical mechanism or can be analyzed by same method,（+so 你又来run-on）dealing with theses(HIAHIA~~~你还想用复数？)projects can help you find the same principle or theory to handle, and inspire you to discover a better solution to complete them. Taking my own experience for example, once I prepared for the term exams in accounting, and I（删去） found a general way to remember（memorize） many professional terms, as a result I got high scores in each subject. (这个例子像我这种门外汉就看不懂，准备会计考试看起来就像一件事；each subject 之间的相似性有必要点一下吧？) Moreover, there is really no need to separate the projects especially projects are in common（不顺啊 projects in common/ projects that are in common ）. Starting same projects simultaneously can increase your working efficient（efficiency） and effectiveness, and save your time to do other things you like（读着好像是节省了做其他事情的时间）, such as swimming, playing the piano or just having a break.
In addition, while conducting different types of projects, people should cope with （them）one by one. On one hand, focusing on one thing can concentrate your attention to deal with only one project ( concentrate on 吧，这句纠结的像绕口令). This could definitely assist you to（assist in doing吧）complete the case more thoroughly, because you have tried your utmost to do. On the other hand, people can make a proper schedule to handle these projects. We all know it is impossible for us to manage so many different things at the same time, because it could exhaust us, and leads to any project may not be finished perfectly.（有点混乱 and leads to / leaving imperfect results ）So, classifying these different projects and concentrating your energy on a single project will absolutely improve effectiveness and avoiding (avoid 跟improve并列吧) conflictionfrom different projects (conflicts between each other).For instance, when I was senior, I had an internship at a financial department. And(删去吧。有时候也不是一定总要连接词连接的) at the beginning, there are so many projects awaiting for me to deal with, and I applied my professional skills to classify the projects, and then focus on each part, so it is conceivable that I finished my job perfectly.
To sum up, sometimes we cannot keep our old rules（follow the stereotyped rules）and are (be) unwillingly to make a change, especially when we face with the above issue(s). We need（What we need is强调一下） to analyze the (specific) situation and choose the best（most appropriate 换个） method to solve (tackle 换个) difficulties.
organization, content 还是没的说，好！
觉得你的文章说服力强，这次注意了下，好像是逻辑关联词用的好! 学习~
有的句子太长了，XDF老师上课说世界上最完美的句子是22个单词。怎么也得长短交错着吧，我想。嘿嘿。
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-17 23:45
3月15日 101210 NAWhich do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing twoor more projects at the same time?
Nowadays, some people are more inclined tobegin to deal with a project after completing another, while others prefer todo two or more projects simultaneously. In my point of view, starting projectsone by one or doing some projects at the same time depends on the attribute ofthe projects, because choosing the proper method will yieldtwice the results with half effort.
First of all, I think that projects thatare closely correlated with each other could be done at the same time. For onething, relative items sometimes contain similar motif. They either possess identicalmechanism or can be analyzed by same method, so dealingwith these projects can help you find the same principle or theory to handle,and inspire you to discover a better solution to complete them. Taking my ownexperience for example, once I prepared for the final term exams in accounting,and I(删去)found a general way to remember（memorize） many professional terms, as a result I got high scores in eachsubject. Moreover, there is really no need to separate the projects, especiallyprojects that are in common. Starting sameprojects simultaneously can increase your working efficient (efficiency) and effectiveness, and save your time todo other things you like, such as swimming, playing the piano or just having abreak.
In addition, while conducting differenttypes of projects, people should cope with themone by one. On one hand, focusing on one thing can concentrate your attentionto deal with only one project (换成focusing on one taskwill avoid you making things messed up). This could definitely assistyou to（查了朗文字典，是assistin/with doing ）complete the case more thoroughly, because you have tried yourutmost to do. On the other hand, people can make a proper schedule to handlethese projects. We all know it is impossible for us to manage so many differentthings at the same time, because it could exhaust us, and leadto any project may not be finished perfectly(换成confused us）. So, classifying these different projects and concentrating yourenergy on a single project will absolutely improve effectiveness and avoidingconfliction from different projects(avoid conflictsbetween each other). For instance, when I was senior, I had aninternship at a financial department. At the very beginning, there are so manyprojects awaiting for me to deal with, and I applied my professional skills toclassify the projects, and then focus on each part, so it is conceivable that Ifinished my job perfectly.
To sum up, sometimes we cannot keep our oldrules (follow the stereotype rules) and beunwillingly to make a change, especially when we face with the above issues. Weneed to analyze the specific situation and choose the most appropriate methodto tackle difficulties.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-19 16:32
110304NA Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’sworld will be solved in our lifetime.
With a rapid development of technology, more industriesdischarged more contaminated waste， such asgreenhouse gases and polluted water, into our environment, and this phenomenonhas a detrimental effect on human’s health. In view of the seriousness of theseproblems, effective measures should be taken before things get worse.Personally, I persist that these important problems that are closely related topeople’s daily life can be solved in our lifetime as long as we take effort toconfront and to tackle.
To begin with, I think that it is our responsibilities tosolve these problems. Decade years, we hold a stereotype philosophy that theresources are so affluent that we can consume unscrupulously. But humans seemto fail to take into account the fact that every resource will be depletedsooner or later, we just make full use of the resource without considering theoutcome when the resource run out. For example, the petroleum, the naturalgases and the coal are non-renewable resources, and are essential materials forhuman beings. Our cars need petroleum, and people need gases to cook and keep warm.If we consume them without a well-planned schedule, we will pay for it in thefuture. Thus, I believe that only if people contemplate the consequence ofthese problems and spend no effort to deal with them, we can control thesituation and achieve sustainable development.
Moreover, our technological improvements guarantee us toresolve these problems. Actually, our scientists have developed some usefulmethods to find solutions to deal with these problems. For instance, scientistsdiscover a kind of bacteria can disintegrate the toxic waste into water andnon-toxic substances and this invention could not only govern the contaminationaround environment, but also figure out a direction towards potentialsolutions. Thus, I can envision that nottoo far in the future, we can find ways to protect our environment.
Finally, we need to solve these problems for ourdescendants. We cannot hold the theory that it is best to use the resourceswhile it is still economically profitable to do so, and we need to protect themfor our children. If we do not face them and leave them to the next generation,the situation may become worse that can be a disaster for our descendants. Takingwater resource for example, water is the basic resource we live by, and now weface a serious water-depletion problem, if we close our eyes or use the ostrichpolicy, our descendants may face not a single problem about water-depletion, maybeat that time, no available fresh water for them to use. So, we must try ourbest to solve problems and eventually construct a gorgeous space for ourchildren to live.
Though, it may be difficult to imagine from a later perspective,a strain of critical opinion think that these methods will fade quickly, yetthey neglect to taking into account our resolutions would take no for ananswer. The situation is very urgent, and we need express determinations andtake pragmatic actions to save our home.
To sum up, I have faith in dealingwith all problems, only if proper measures are taken to restrict dischargingand great efforts are made to achieve common goal.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-20 12:54
骗人。你写的是3.20的独立。
我还没写呢，写完再来看，不然会受你影响。
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-20 19:08
Recently, many new technological devices are released topublic such as the ipad and the iphone, and lead to surge many people to stayup late only to buy one. Frankly, sometimes, having a newly released device maymake a person fashion and different. But in my opinion, because some flaws liein these emerging devices, I prefer to possess one until it becomes popular.
First of all, I just think that we need to adopt others’opinions before purchasing, because people who have owned the device, which youwant to buy, can give you some beneficial advices. For example, your friendswill tell you the characteristics, the performances and the functions about thedevice, and these practical suggestions may help you to make a smart decision.While in some cases, you may experience a situation that you buy a device witha surge of impulsion, and soon feel regretful for such an unwise decision. So,with contemplation, you can make a win-win choice.
Moreover, some newly released devices will appear flawsin design or function at the very beginning. And it is pretty inconvenient andannoying to sent the device back to repair. So, we had better buy until someproblems within the devices are solved, in case we will not evolved introublesome. Here is a tip, we can browse some online chat rooms to see whetherflaws are revised or pay more attention to relative news.
Finally, some more attractive applications would bereleased after a period of time, so if you want to make full use of the device,you need to control your curiosity and wait till more interesting applicationsare programmed that make your life convenient.
Admittedly, owning a new technological device when it becomesavailable could make you fashion, and you will enjoy the happiness from theseadvanced techniques, but it also needs you to take risks when you get benefitfrom the devices. Thus, it would better to buy a device until it becomespopular.
To sum up, new technological devicesare pretty crucial and useful for people, they could release job burden, makelife amazing, and add more fun into daily life, but they still contain risks. Sowise people will buy a device until it becomes popular.
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-3-21 19:08
Recently, many new technological devices are released topublic such as the ipad and the iphone, and(用which连接更好)lead to surge（用provoke更好） many people to stayup late only to buy one. Frankly, sometimes, having a newly released device maymake a person fashionable and different. But in my opinion, because some flaws liein these emerging devices,I prefer to possess one until it becomes popular.
First of all, I just think that we need to adopt others’opinions before purchasing, because people who have owned the device, which youwant to buy, (people who have owned your dreaming device这样更简洁)can give you some beneficial advices. For example, your friendswill tell you the characteristics, the performances and the functions about thedevice, and these practical suggestions may help you to make a smarter decision.While in some cases, you may experience a situation that you buy a device witha surge of impulsion, and soon feel regretful for such an unwise decision. So,with (a moment for)contemplation, you can make a win-win choice.
Moreover, some newly released devices will appear flaws（之前用过了，更换成weakness）in design or function at the very beginning. And it is pretty inconvenient andannoying to sent the device back to repair(get repaired地道). So, we had better buy （it缺少宾语）until someproblems within the devices are solved, in case we will not evolved introublesome(in a troublesome condition). Here is a tip, we can browse some online chat rooms to see whether(these )flaws are revised(renovated更换) or(and)pay more attention to relative news.
Finally, some more attractive applications would bereleased after a period of time, so if you want to make full use of the device,you need to control(hold) your curiosity and wait till more interesting applicationsare programmed that make your life (more与more interesting对应) convenient.
Admittedly, owning a new technological device when it becomesavailable could make you （in）fashion, and you will enjoy the happiness from theseadvanced techniques, but it also needs you to take risks when you get benefitsfrom the devices. Thus, it would (be) better to buy a device until it becomespopular.
To sum up, new technological devicesare pretty crucial and useful for people,(for) they could release job burden, makelife amazing, and add more fun into daily life, but they still contain risks. Sowise people will buy a device until it becomes popular.
Conclusion:1.竟然是22号的独立？？第一次看到四个主段的文~
语言地道性仍需加强，相同意思的词句多进行替换，有一些句子缺少成分，建议写完再修改一遍。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-21 23:02
3.20 吐血改完
With a rapid development of technology, more industries discharged more contaminated waste， such as greenhouse gases and polluted water, into our environment, and this phenomenon has a detrimental effecton human’s health. In view of the seriousness of these problems, effective measures should be taken before things getworse. Personally, I persist that these important problems that are closely related to people’s daily life can be solved in our lifetime as long as we take effort to confront and to tackle（总读着后面不加宾语很奇怪）.
To begin with, I think that it is our responsibilities to solve these problems.Decade years, we hold a stereotype philosophy that the resources are so affluent that we can consume unscrupulously（wow,我不认识，崇拜一下）. But humans seem to fail to take into account the fact that every resource will be depleted sooner or later, we just make full use of（好好利用，是褒义词吧。推荐个drain） the resource without considering the outcome when the resource runs out(被动好吧。once it was depleted.). For example, the petroleum, the natural gases and the coal are non-renewable resources, and are essential materials for human beings (to power the technosphere.我很努力地吹毛求疵一下). Our cars need petroleum, and people need gases to cook and keep warm. If we consume them without a well-planned schedule, we will pay for it in the future. Thus, I believe that only if people contemplate the consequence of these problems and spend（spare） no effort to deal with them, we can control the situation and achieve sustainable development. （thus 后转的牵强吧，前面看完都以为你要跑去支持反面了。再努力往it is our rather than any generation else’s responsibility方面靠一下。）
Moreover, our technological improvements guarantee us to resolve these problems. Actually, our scientists have developed some useful methods to find solutions to deal with these problems.（罗里吧嗦的，而且develop这样用感觉多表阐述。Current science has made it possible to alleviate the grave seriousness. ） For instance, scientists discover a kind of bacteria （which 你又run-on了哈哈）can disintegrate the toxic waste into water and（and并列的好乱，要不后面这句也补充个into吧，哪我就不懂了）non-toxic substances (,喘口气) and this invention could not only govern the contamination around（in the 就行了吧？） environment, but also figure out a direction towards potential solutions. Thus, I can envision that not too far in the future, we（+generation跟题目的in our lifetime 呼应一下） can find ways to protect our environment. (你默认当今世界最大难题是环保问题？)
Finally, we need to solve these problems for our descendants. We cannot hold the theory that it is best to use the resources while it is still economically profitable to do so, and we need to protect them for our children.（我晕了） If we do not face them and leave them to the next generation, the situation may become worse that can be a disaster for our descendants.（总觉得that奇怪了。试试the situation is likely to worsen before it begins to improve, leaving a disaster for our descendants. ） Taking water resource for example, water is the basic resource we live by, and now we face a serious water-depletion（water shortage?） problem, if we close our eyes or use(adopt) the ostrich policy(wow again), our descendants may face not a single problem about water-depletion, maybe at that time, no available fresh water for them to use. （句子真long~~~ like a speaker. 这不是表扬啊。）So, we must try our best to solve problems and eventually construct a gorgeous space for our children to live.
Though, it may be difficult to imagine from a later perspective（which？）, a strain of critical opinion（你真高级，是单数吧？）think that these methods will fade quickly, yet they neglect to taking（take） into account our resolutions would take no for an answer. (take what into account了我没看懂) The situation is very urgent, and we need express determinations and take pragmatic actions to save our homeland.
To sum up, I have faith in dealing with all problems, only if proper measures are taken to restrict discharging（可以么？）and great efforts are made to achieve common goal.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-23 22:11
Recently, debates that moviesand television have more negative impacts than positive ones on young people’sbehavior have haunting society. Some socialists contend that more violent andsexual scenes frequently appear on films or TV programs, so that we need toprohibit them broadcasting. To some degree, however, I hold that movies andtelevision obviously have more advantages than disadvantages.
Frankly, many films andprograms can broaden young people’s horizons. Several TV programs containuseful knowledge and professional skills that help youngsters behave well. Forexample, a program provides some tips about handwork, and young people canobtain from it and make some inventions themselves. More amazingly, someonecreate practical tools to help people solve many disputes in environment.
Moreover, educational moviescan teach young people to behave properly. There is no doubt that young peopleare more likely face with problems, they sometimes feel confused or depressedabout some issues. And this is where the merits of movies come from, they candirect the way for young people, and tell juniors what is the right to do, howto deal with troubles, such issues like that. As a result, young people canfind the true meaning of live and adjust their attitudes towards failures.
Finally, films and TV programsoffer entertainment for young people. We can enjoy the exciting plots, andexplore some new places by following the actors or reporters. These interestingprograms ensure young people have enough to relax, to relief burden, which willincrease their studying or working efficiency.
Admittedly, some negativeeffects are still involved in films or TV programs, such as violent or sexualcontents. As a result, worries that these contents may mislead young peoplehave recently haunting society. However, I believe that the advantages willoutnumber disadvantages as long as our society and adults take theirresponsibilities to avert such things happened.
To sum up, movies and TVprograms have become part of our lives, and they not only can school youngpeople to behave appropriately, but also instruct youth’s behavior bothmentally and physically.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-24 22:24
In the lecture, the lecturer holds the point that the benefits of private collection outweigh its negative consequences. To substantiate her opinion, three reasons are stated in the following.
First of all, the public is likely to have greater exposure to fossils as a result of commercial trade, because these commercial companies will make many fossils available for purchase, and as a result, some low level public institutions, such as high school, can routinely buy some fossils and display for the public. Thus, she totally disagrees with the statement that the public will experience less exposure to some interesting fossils.
Moreover, she argues that the idea about scientists are likely to lose access to some significant fossils is unrealistic. Virtually, fossils that unearthed by people must be identified by professional scientists, and scientists will test and examine fossils by several precise method, as a result, they will not miss any opportunity to study privately traded fossils.
Finally, the speaker contends that comparing to the damage of fossils made by private collectors. Some fossils may not be discovered without these commercial companies. Few collecting operations were run by universities or scientific institutions, and some important fossils will go undiscovered if such commercial companies do not be interested in fossils collecting.
To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker, and the professor has completely different points.
作者: 夏雨霏霏 时间: 2012-3-24 23:21
第一次改别人的作文，水平有限，见笑了
In the lecture（这个不要了吧）, the lecturer holds the point that the benefits of private collection outweigh its negative consequences. To substantiate her opinion, three reasons are stated in the following.
First of all, the public is likely to have greater exposure to fossils as a result of commercial trade, because these commercial companies will make many fossils available for purchase, and as a result, some low level public institutions, such as high school, can routinely buy some fossils and display for the public（这句太长了，断成两句吧）（）. Thus, she totally disagrees with the statement that the public will experience less exposure to some interesting fossils.
First of all, under the condition that many fossils are available for purchase, some low level public institutions, such as high school, get to chance to routinely buy some fossils and display for the public. In this case, the the public is likely to have even greater exposure to fossils than before.(我觉得这两句这样写逻辑更清楚一些)
Moreover, she argues that the idea that scientists are likely to lose access to some significant fossils is unrealistic. Virtually, fossils that unearthed by people must be identified by professional scientists(using several precise method,这样简洁一些吧), and scientists will test and examine fossils by several precise method,as a result, they will not miss any opportunity to study privately traded fossils.
Finally, the speaker contends that compared (用compared不太合适吧，这两个不能比吧)to the damage of fossils made by private collectors（although the private collectors may damage the fossils）. Some fossils would not be discovered without these commercial companies. Few collecting operations were run by universities or scientific institutions, and some important fossils will go undiscovered if such commercial companies are not interested in fossils collecting.
To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker（这句话好啊）, and the professor has completely different points.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-26 01:28
标题: 2011.03.04 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most impo
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.
In our modern society, environmental degradation and poverty are viewed as two of the most important problems. And a great number of people hold the philosophy that along with the rapid development of science and technology and the transformation in attitude, these complicated issues will be solved in our lifetime. The fact, however, is cruel, because so far, human beings have nor possessed enough capacity to put an end to these problems.
Pretty frankly, the environmental issues will not be resolved thoroughly in the short term. The reasons are twofold. For one thing, people are not capable enough to completely tackle the environmental issues, based on the current science and technology. The number of automobiles, for example, has soared dramatically over the past decades that resulting in the global warming. And some of the supplement remain conceptual almost to the point of fantasy, solar-powered cars and hybrid electric vehicles, for example. So only if these technologies improve, people can effectively stem the tendency of global warming. On the other hand, there is no doubt that environmental protection calls for a great deal of capital , which mainly comes from the support of government. Ironically, countries that need money for environmental issues are still under the poverty line, and their goal lies in the development of economy, instead of the preservation of environment. Therefore, it is quite unrealistic to coerce these nations to offer the stringent budget to deal with the environmental deterioration. According to this point, I maintain that within our lifetime, it is virtually impossible to resolve these complex problems.
Poverty is another issue that we should not ignore. In the current world, especially in some destitute nations, millions of people are still struggling for not being starvation, which seems inconceivable in some other wealthy nations. People there could not afford to the most basic stuff, let alone education and entertainment. Simultaneously, the poverty issues could directly lead to high crime rate, which exerts negative effect on the social stability. In fact, these social problems are extremely difficult to eradicate, for the reason that they are triggered by various factors, such as political issues, religious and racial conflicts, and even the natural disasters. Such factors could make poverty or social issues hard to solve and let people to take a long time to find a feasible solution for these intricate problems.
Admittedly, we human beings have tried our utmost to confront to many crucial problems, and indeed, solved some of them, for instance, our doctors and chemists have found many effective medicines or methods to eliminate illness that saved millions of lives. However, such problem involved with so many elements seems, in some degree, unsolvable in our generation.
From what has been discussed above, we can draw the conclusion that so optimistic are those who deem that the most important problem will be solved in our lifetime that they may fail to take into account the fact that human beings are not ready to solve Gordian knot both utterly and perfectly, at least in the current generation.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-26 01:28
构思了10分钟，一共用时28分钟写完
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-3-26 15:18
真的写挺好的，不再笑话你农民了。。。
我的意见你选择性的接受。
2011.03.04 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.
In our modern society, environmental degradation and poverty are viewed as two of the most important problems (grave afflictions换个). And a great number of people hold the philosophy that along with the rapid development of science and technology and the transformation in attitude（our heightened awareness）, these complicated issues will be solved in our lifetime. The fact, however, is cruel, because so far, human beings have nor（not yet） possessed enough capacity to put an end to these problems.
Pretty frankly, the environmental issues will not be resolved thoroughly in the short term. The reasons are twofold. For one thing, people are not capable enough to completely tackle the environmental issues(全文用太多了吧。 live up to the environmental challenge ), based on the current science and technology. The number of automobiles, for example, has soared dramatically over the past decades that (,) resulting in the global warming.(跨度有点大吧。unclean and smoggy air？) And some of the supplementsremain conceptual almost to the point of fantasy, solar-powered cars and hybrid electric vehicles, for example(移到remain前，当插入语). So only if these technologies improve（progressed）, people can (could 虚拟了吧) effectively stem the tendency of（wow,你确定不） global warming. On the other hand, there is no doubt that environmental protection calls for a great deal of capital, which mainly comes from (relies on) the support of government. Ironically, countries that need money for environmental issues (再换个to remedy the environmental consequences)are still under the poverty line (会不会chinglish啊? stuck in poverty), and their goal(focus) lies in the development(boost) of economy, instead of the preservation of environment. Therefore, (at this very moment,强调一下是此时，照应后面的此生)it is quite unrealistic to coerce these nations to offer the stringent budget to deal with the environmental deterioration. According to this point( Viewed in this way), I maintain that within our lifetime, it is virtually impossible to resolve these complex problems.
Poverty is another issue that we should not ignore. In the current world, especially in some destitute nations, millions of people are still struggling for not being（to cast off） starvation, which seems inconceivable in some other wealthy nations. People there could not afford to(删去，可以直接加宾语啦) the most basic stuff（living necessities）, let alone education and entertainment. Simultaneously, the poverty issues could directly lead to high crime rate, which exerts （a）negative effect on the social stability. In fact, these social problems are extremely difficult to eradicate（+once for all）, for the reason that they are triggered by various factors, such as political issues, religious and racial conflicts, and even the natural disasters. Such factors could make poverty or social issues hard to solve and let people to take a long time to find a feasible solution (啰嗦了点,试试exacerbate the seriousness and hamper the struggle to bring up feasible solutions)for these intricate problems.
Admittedly, we human beings have tried our utmost to confront to many crucial problems, and indeed, solved some of them,（.） for instance, our doctors and chemists have found(introduced) many effective medicines or methods to eliminate illnesses that saved millions of lives(that就近指代illness吧? which used to be considered fatal). However, such problem involved with so many elements （involving numerous unpredictable elements ）seems, in some degree, unsolvable in our generation.
From what has been discussed above, we can (naturally) draw the conclusion that so optimistic are those who deem that the most important problem will be solved in our lifetime that they may fail to take into account the fact that human beings are not ready to solve Gordian knot both utterly and perfectly, at least in the current generation.(so that 用的真炉火纯青啊)
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-28 19:02
2011.12.17
Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to becompletely honest with your friends.
I know that before the God and the Lord, every human mortal is a liar, and someone may think that sometimes we tell a lie is endurable. But this does not meanthat it is impossible to be entirely honest with friends.
Tobegin with, honest is something that, unlike the out dated commodities in theshopping mall that can be discounted or depreciated, it will never fade, nomatter how long days pass. And friend, is someone who possesses something incommon with you. They either hold the same values as you do, or are interestedin similar hobbies with you. Thus, if you are utterly honest to your friends,and your neighbors and your families as well, you will be honest to your ownheart and soul. On the contrary, if you tell lie to your friends, you betrayyourself. Can you tell me that whose life can be lightened if the soul andheart have been betrayed? I therefore claim that true hearts and intelligentminds will always be honest to others, even to the strangers, needless to saythe friends.
Moreover,a friend in need is a friend indeed, as the old saying goes. So friends canoffer you help when you are in trouble, and sometimes they can pull you backfrom the brink. So how can you tell lies to someone who is always stayingbehind you when you fell down? I think that the honesty is the very foundationand the building blocks of human personality, anyone will be unhappy if he orshe is cheated. Even a small lie might devastate the friendship and destroyeverything good to spiritual and mental life. So, my fellows, never tell a lieto your friends, and keep always honest to them, because you can own awonderful life if hold these everlasting philosophy.
Admittedly,some people think that white lies are, in some circumstance, proper and evencan avoid conflicts. However, have you ever thought about a fact that tellingyour friends the truth would be better than lying to them? At least, you openyour heart to friends, even though you made mistakes. So, just staying utterlyhonest to friends no matter what happened.
Obviously,it is not easy to be completely honest to your friends, but it is the varysignificance of our life in the world. My dear friends, I am entirely honest toyou, and I hope that you all will be do the same to me, because if we aresincere to each other, things can really become simple and easy!
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-3-28 21:51
11.12.09
Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.
If job and social life are completely two independent elements, the assertion thatmy job influences my happiness more than social life does would be wellaccepted. Unfortunately, my social life and my job entangled together, and bothof them special and important to my happiness.
Firstly,my job provides me immense happiness day and night, in spring and in winter aswell. This is not because my job is special or distinctly different from others’,nor is it because my job renders me extra money or other intangible income. Butit is because I have a very unique attitude towards my job. To put it exactly, Iam always enthusiastic and even exuberant when I work, and I take job as partof life or an inevitable experience to way of success. Because the work isgoing to fill a large part of your life, it is really important to treat it as somethingmatters to you. Taking my own experience for example, last year, I did an internshipat a financial department. It is conceivable that I need to deal with a heavyworkload，and hold the philosophy that it is a very precious experience forme, I tried my utmost to handle every single case. Finally, I finished my jobperfectly and got praise from my manager. So, my dear friends, please trust mejust follow your inner voice and love your job, and I am pretty sure that allof you will gain happiness.
Similarly,my social life ranks the same as my job in terms of happiness rendering,because social life matters both to others and to yourself. For one thing, sociallife, essentially, is to talk or communicates in whatever forms with others,and if you can stay honest to people and offer favors to others as many aspossible, you will feel happy, because the definition of happiness containsboth inner emotion in your heart and outer help you provide to others. On theother hand, social life also plays a crucial role in person’s daily life. Forinstance, I deem swimming as part of my social life, and will go swimming aslong as I am free. Just because swimming can make my mind clear and my bodyrelaxed so that I can work or study quite efficiently.
Admittedly,some people may contend that both job and social life bring troubles to us,resulting in affecting our mood. But I want to maintain that sometimes life is goingto hit you in the head with a brick, and all you need to do is just do not losefaith, and change your attitude, as a result you will find true happiness.
To sum up, both job and social life are vitalfor my happiness, no matter how entangled they are and what obstacles they willbring. I am convinced that the only thing that keeps me going and feel happy isthat I love what I do.
作者: Lillian安 时间: 2012-3-29 01:13
I know that beforethe God and the Lord, every human mortal is a liar, and that someone may think that sometimes we tell a lieis endurable. But this does not mean that it is impossible to be entirely honest withfriends.
To beginwith, honesty issomething（可以考虑换个词？）that, unlike the out dated commodities in the shoppingmall that can be discounted or depreciated, it will never fade, no matterhow long days pass. (其实我觉得这句改写得不好= =) And friend,（ß多打的？） is someone who possesses something in common with you. They either hold the same values asyou do, or are interested in similar hobbies with you. Thus, if you are utterlyhonest to your friends, and（可以去掉） your neighbors and your families as well, you will behonest to your own heart and soul. Onthe contrary, if you tell lie to your friends, youbetray yourself. Can you tell me that whose life can belightened if the soul and heart have been betrayed? I therefore claimthat people who have true hearts andintelligent minds will always behonest to others, even to thestrangers, needless to say the friends.
Moreover, a friend in need is a friend indeed, as the old sayinggoes. So friends can offer you help when you are in trouble, and sometimesthey can pull you back from the brink. So how can you tell lies to someonewho is always staying behind you when you fell down? I think that thehonesty is the very foundation and the building blocks of human personality, anyonewill be unhappy if he or she is cheated. Even a small lie might devastate thefriendship and destroy everything good to spiritual and mental life. So, myfellows, never tell a lie to your friends, and keep always honest（谷歌搜索结果2条，所以应该是不正确的，always去掉） to them, because you can own a wonderful life if hold these everlasting philosophy.
Admittedly, some people think that white lies are, in somecircumstance, proper and even can avoid conflicts. However, have you ever thoughtabout a fact that telling your friends the truth would be better than lying tothem? At least, you open your heart to friends, even though you made mistakes.So, just staying utterly honest to friends no matter what happened.
Obviously, it is not easy to be completely honest to yourfriends, but it（指代不明） is the vary （这是动词，形容词是various）significance of our life in the world（这句表意模糊，可以考虑“it deserves to do sosince friends play a such important role in our life”）. My dear friends, I am entirely honest to you, and I hope that you all will be do the same tome, because if we are sincere to each other, things can really become simpleand easy!
先这样，明天再看看，感觉奇怪的地方搜索发现出自范文，所以……
补充一点：
Moreover, a friend in need is a friend indeed, as the old sayinggoes. So friends can offer you help when you are in trouble, and sometimes theycan pull you back from the brink. So how can you tell lies to someone who is always staying behind you when you fell down? 建议第一个So换”In other words”或”By that I mean”
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-1 10:10
11.12.09
Yourjob has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.
Ifjob and social life are completely two independent elements, the assertion that my job influences my happiness more than social life does would be well accepted. Unfortunately, my social life and my job （are virtually）entangled together, and both of them (are。这句没谓语) special and important（或者indispensable） to my happiness. （开头我挺喜欢的）
Firstly, my job provides me immense happiness day and night, in spring and in winter as well. (什么意思，其他两个季节你不开心啦？) This is not（neither 跟后面的搭配） because my job is special or distinctly different from others’, nor is it（删除。后面because并列） because my job renders me extra money or other intangible income. But it is because I have a very（of my 更简洁）unique attitude towards my job. To put it exactly, I am always enthusiastic and even exuberant when I work, and I take job as part of life or an inevitable experience to way of（on the road to） success. Because the work is going to fill a large part of your life, it is really important to treat it as something matters to you. Taking my own experience for example, last year, I did (got) an internship at a financial department (+in PWC. 真实具体呢，再说ETS就喜欢细节). It is conceivable that I need to deal with a heavy workload，and hold（. Holding你的句子太长了，有时候不是一个意思的连在一起，乱用and） the philosophy that it is a very precious experience for me, I tried my utmost to handle every single case. Finally, I finished my job perfectly and got（received high） praise from my manager. So, my dear friends, please trust me (to) just follow your inner voice and love your job, and I am pretty sure that all of you will gain happiness.
Similarly, my social life ranks the same as my job in terms of happiness rendering(有这个搭配么？), because social life matters both to others and to yourself. For one thing, social life, essentially, is to talk or communicates（communicate） in whatever forms(什么是talk in form? Ways就可以了吧) with others,and if(.If) you can stay honest to people and offer favors to others as many as possible, you will feel happy, because the definition of happiness contains both inner emotion in your heart and outer help you provide to others（觉得不是contain的关系，是lie in, result from, stem from）. On the other hand, social life also plays a crucial role in person’s daily life. For instance, I deem swimming as part of my social life, and will go swimming (+two times everyday time 细节) as long as I am free. Just because swimming can make my mind clear and my body relaxed so that I can work or study quite efficiently. (一句话中，有because 和 so that， 是不是重复啦？)
Admittedly, some people may contend that both job and social life bring troubles to us, resulting in affecting our mood（a feeling of gloom/ blueness/ depression 。因为result in 后面多跟一个简短的名词）. But I want to maintain that sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick, and all you need to do is just do not lose faith, and change your attitude（? but revert your spirit?）, as a result you will find true happiness.( true happiness will knock at your door.)
To sum up, both job and social life are vital for（to） my happiness, no matter how entangled they are and what obstacles they will bring. I am convinced that the only thing that keeps me going and feel(删去吧，变成了 keep me happy) happy is that I love what I do.
这篇风格很清新啊，属于我比较喜欢读的，像个女生写的呢。贴近生活的话，希望你举例要具体，多细节。
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-4 11:24
The lecture is mainly discussing that some findings of the remain of dinosaur may not real materials that seem to be blood vessel, red blood cells, and collagen matrix.
To begin with, the lecturer arguest that the soft substance inside the channels may be something else. After the animal died, the bacterias sometiomes colonize the hollows where once held blood vessels. As a result, what the scientists in the reading regard as the blood vessels may just be the traces of residue left by the bacteria colonized.
Moreover, according to the lecturer, the researchers found identical spheres in other animals in the same place. That contains some primative animals, which do not have red blood cells. It is quite obviously that if the sphere in the organisms that have no red blood cell, then the sphere cannot be the remain of red cells, may be some red mineral.
Finally, by so far, reseachers have not found an collagen in animals older than 100,000 years. So finding collagen from an animal that lived 70 millions years ago will challenge the idea about how long collagen can last. 
robably, the exist of collagen may not come from the T.rex, but from people's skins, from the skins of researchers when holding the bone.
To sum up, the contents stated in the passage are jeopardized by the speaker and the speaker has completely different opinions on the topics.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-4 11:48
顺便把原文贴出来
As much as we'd like to have the remains of actual dinosaur tissue, there are sound reasons for being skeptical of the identifications made in the reading.
First, the soft, flexible substance inside the bone channels is not necessarily the remains of blood vessels. It is much more likely to be something else. Like what, You might say. long after an organism has died, bacterias sometimes colonize hollows, empty areas in bones, like the channels that once held blood vessels. When bacteria lived inside bones, they often leave behind traces of organic material. What the researchers in the reading are identifying as blood vessels might just be traces of soft and moist residue left by bacteria colonies.
All right. what about the iron-filled spheres? Well, the problem is that scientists found identical reddish spheres in fossils of other animals found in the same place. That includes fossils of primitive animals that did not have any red blood cells when they were alive. Clearly, if these spheres appear in organisms that did not have any red blood cells, then the spheres can not be the remains of red blood cells. The spheres probably have a very different origin. They are probably just pieces of reddish mineral.
Third, the collagen. The problem is that we have never found collagen in anmial remains that are older than 100,000 years. Collagen probably cannot last longer than that. Finding collagen from an animal that lived 70 million years ago would really contradict our ideas about how long collagen can last. It is just too improbable. The most likely explanation for the presence of collagen is that it doesn’t come from the T.rex, but from another much more recent source. For example, human skin contains collagen, so the collagen may have come from the skin of the researchers who are handling the bone.
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-4 16:29
The lecture is mainly discussing that some findings of the remainsof dinosaur may not real materials that seem to be blood vessels, red blood cells, and collagen matrix.（这里第一段需要把阅读的观点也带一下吗？）
To begin with, the lecturer arguest that the soft substance inside the channels may be something else. After the animal died, the bacterias(我也犯了这个错误) sometiomes colonize the hollows where once held blood vessels. As a result, what the scientists in the reading regard as the blood vessels may just be the traces of residue left by the bacteria colonized（colonies用名词形式）.
Moreover, according to the lecturer, the researchers found identical spheres in other animals in the same place. That contains some primative (primate是灵长类动物吗)animals, which do not have red blood cells. It is quite obviously that if the sphere in the organisms that have no red blood cell, then the sphere cannot be the remain of red cells, may be some red mineral.
Finally, by so far, reseachers(researchers) have not found an collagen in animals older than 100,000 years. So finding collagen from an animal that lived 70 millions years ago will challenge the idea about how long collagen can last. robably, the exist of collagen may not come from the T.rex, but from people's skins, from the skins of researchers when holding（handling） the bone.
To sum up, the contents stated in the passage are jeopardized by the speaker and the speaker has completely different opinions on the topics.
3个观点都好准啊，我一定就懵了
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-4 22:01
4月4日 110610NA Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s more important for thegovernment to build new housing than preserve old historic building.
Recently, a lot of old buildings are demolished in order to create new ones, because some governorshold the philosophy that these novel constructions can represent the sound and rapid development of the country. Is this the way if should be? I am not fondof their ideas. Several historic buildings contain special meanings as a partof culture, so we should spare no effort to preserve them, even though there isa silver lining in doing that.
Preservation of historic buildings is a noble endeavor. The practice of preserving, conserving, andprotecting not only buildings but also whole districts, or parks and monumentsensure that the future generation will have the opportunity to enjoy the greatheritage of the past. Can you imagine what it would be if the Great Pyramids ofEgypt were not preserved in a way? And if, at some point, the Cathedrals of theMedieval and Renaissance period were not preserved and conserved, such greatarchitectural works would have been likened to the ruins of ancient Roman andGreece. These structures include such significant characters or aesthetic valueas part of human’s history, we cannot emphasize the importance of preservingthem too much.
Obviously, these old buildingswitnessed the vicissitude of several kingdoms, which have not only happyendings but also miserable memories. Young people can be inspired to workharder by those heroes who have made great contributions to the country.Simultaneously, people will remember sorrowful past to prevent them fromhappening again. The state of liberty, for example, delivers a message to allhuman beings that we should fight for our freedoms. Therefore, these buildingscan cultivate people’s patriotic emotion and bring us together to establish abetter future.
Meanwhile,old buildings can benefit tourism. Those unique historic stories and beautiful structures attract people from all over the world to visit. As a result, canboost the economic development. Too often we observe that some small townsbecame famous over a night due to those mysterious buildings. So, demolishingthese old building equals to the removal of a great page of our history andleaves a fraction both in history and in culture. That would be an unfortunatefor all humans.
Admittedly,with the rapid development of economy and boom of population, we need newbuildings to satisfy the demanding of specific purposes. For instance, for thesake of accommodating more people and attracting more overseas companies, newskyscraping needed to be established. However, all of these purposes will berealized with taking preserving old buildings into account.
Tosum up, time will move forward, and history needs to be remembered. Ifgovernors single-minded pursue the prosperity of society by sacrificing ourprecious history, I do not believe that our civilization will progress. So, inview of the seriousness of the problem of demolishing old buildings, effectivemeasures should be taken before things get worse.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-4 22:12
4月4日110610NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s moreimportant for the government to build new housing than preserve old historicbuilding.
Recently, a lot of old buildings are demolished in order to create new ones, because some governors hold the philosophy that these novel constructions can represent the sound and rapid development of the country. Is this the way if should be? I am not fond of their ideas. Several historic buildings contain special meanings as a part of culture, so we should spare no effort to preserve them, even though there is a silver lining in doing that.
Preservation of historic buildings is a noble endeavor. The practice of preserving, conserving, and protecting not only buildings but also whole districts, or parks and monuments ensure that the future generation will have the opportunity to enjoy the great heritage of the past. Can you imagine what it would be if the Great Pyramids of Egypt were not preserved in a way? And if, at some point, the Cathedrals of the Medieval and Renaissance period were not preserved and conserved, such great architectural works would have been likened to the ruins of ancient Roman and Greece. These structures include such significant characters or aesthetic value as part of human’s history, we cannot emphasize the importance of preserving them too much.
Obviously, these old buildings witnessed the vicissitude of several kingdoms, which have not only happy endings but also miserable memories. Young people can be inspired to work harder by those heroes who have made great contributions to the country. Simultaneously, people will remember sorrowful past to prevent them from happening again. The state of liberty, for example, delivers a message to all human beings that we should fight for our freedoms. Therefore, these buildings can cultivate people’s patriotic emotion and bring us together to establish a better future.
Meanwhile, old buildings can benefit tourism. Those unique historic stories and beautiful structures attract people from all over the world to visit. As a result, can boost the economic development. Too often we observe that some small towns became famous over a night due to those mysterious buildings. So, demolishing these old building equals to the removal of a great page of our history and leaves a fraction both in history and in culture. That would be an unfortunate for all humans.
Admittedly, with the rapid development of economy and boom of population, we need new buildings to satisfy the demanding of specific purposes. For instance, for the sake of accommodating more people and attracting more overseas companies, new skyscraping needed to be established. However, all of these purposes will be realized with taking preserving old buildings into account.
To sum up, time will move forward, and history needs to be remembered. If governors single-minded pursue the prosperity of society by sacrificing our precious history, I do not believe that our civilization will progress. So, in view of the seriousness of the problem of demolishing old buildings, effective measures should be taken before things get worse.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-5 12:10
4月4日110610NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s more important for the government to build new housing than preserve old historic building.
Recently, a lot of old buildings are demolished in order to create new ones, because some governors hold the philosophy that these novel(modern 感觉novel偏重新奇) constructions can represent the sound and rapid development of the country. Is this the way if（things） should be? I am not fond of their ideas. Several historic buildings contain special meanings as a part of culture, so we should spare no effort to preserve them, even though there is a silver lining in doing that.
Preservation of historic buildings is a noble endeavor. The practice of preserving, conserving,(是不是没必要了啊？conserve第一个解释就是to protect from harm or loss；=preserve.) and protecting not only buildings but also whole districts, or parks and monuments （+to）ensure that the future generation will have the opportunity to enjoy(appreciate) the great heritage of the past. Can you imagine what it would be if the Great Pyramids of Egypt were not preserved in a way (这什么意思？in a way: 1. To a certain extent; with reservations 2. From one point of view )? And if, at some point, the Cathedrals of the Medieval and Renaissance period were not preserved and conserved, （the loss of 跟后面比较对象对称一下）such great architectural works would havebeen likened to the ruins of ancient Roman and Greece. These structures include such significant characters or aesthetic value as part of human’s history, we cannot emphasize the importance of preserving them too much.
Obviously, these old buildings witnessed the vicissitude of several kingdoms, which have not only happy endings but also miserable memories. Young people can be inspired to work harder by those heroes who have made great contributions to the country. Simultaneously, people will remember sorrowful past to prevent them from happening again.The state of liberty, for example, delivers a message to all human beings that we should fight for our freedoms.Therefore, these buildings can cultivate people’s patriotic emotion and bring us together to establish a better future.（不是我过分啊，你太perfect了。。。）
Meanwhile, old buildings can benefit tourism. Those unique historic stories and beautiful structures attract people from all over the world to visit. As (，as这里连成一句话，要不然后面不成句啊) a result, can boost the economic development. Too often we observe that some small towns became famous over a night due to those mysterious buildings. So, demolishing these old building equals to the removal of a great page of our history and leaves a fraction（这怎么理解啊） both in history and in culture. That would be an unfortunate for all humans（limit in the economic interests of some cities）.(我嚼的吧，这段最后两句有点off point，建议总结句回归本段topic, that is tourism/economy)
Admittedly, with the rapid development of economy and boom of population, we need new buildings to satisfy the demanding（demand） of specific purposes. For instance, for the sake of accommodating more people and attracting more overseas companies, new skyscraping（skyscrapers） needed to be established. However, all of these purposes will be realized with taking preserving old buildings into account.(with preserving the old buildings taken into account.)
To sum up, time will move forward, and history needs to be remembered. If governors single-minded(the single-minded governors) pursue the prosperity of society by sacrificing our precious history, I do not believe that our civilization will progress. So, in view of the seriousness of the problem of demolishing old buildings, effective measures should be taken before things get worse.
掀桌啊~~~写这么好!
现在真觉得，向你说的，不用那些overuse了的过渡词，文章档次提高不少。
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-6 09:00
4月5日 110528NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One can learn a lot about the person from the type of friends the person has.
Some people will judge a person based on his friends, because they hold the philosophy that people with the similar traits are usually more likely to be associated with each other. At the first glance, this argument seems plausible, however, from my personal observation, such a belief may not be impeccable.
Obviously, the personalities of a person can be multifacet and it is too simple to appraise him or her just based on the friends he or she has. On different occasions, a person can behave totally differently. A seemingly serious man may act casually privately and vice versa that thus have entirely different kinds of friends. Take my college teacher for example. Pro. Zhang teaches us accounting and has a lot of friends in academic circle. From this point, people may judge that he is a martinet, just like many of the cynics who living in the ivory tower. On the other hand, privately, he is a super football fan, and often goes into raptures at the mere mention of the club he supports wins the title. Accordingly, it is unilateral to assess a person based on the friends he or she has.
True, people with separate social status or interests may also be good friends for various reasons. In my dorm, for instance, six students are living in one room, and sharing different attributes. Three of us like basketball, and two are big fans of comic, and only I am fond of classic music. Another example is in the famous sitcom ‘Friends’. Six people of different social backgrounds and distinctive characteristics become closely related. We may never know Joey, an actor, is by looking at his friends Ross, a researcher. Therefore, it is somewhat naïve to say that knowing a person’s friends can help us really know a person.
Admittedly, people with similar concerns tend to be more closely related to each other. To put it exactly, it is usually impossible to let a person who is introverted to make friend with another extroverted one. People with similar social status or interests are more likely to hang out together, because their ways of live are subjected to similar factors. Sometimes housewives may become acquainted with housewives in the supermarket; people who love sports often make friends in the gym. However I still challenge the idea that we can really know about people by what kind of friends they have.
I concede that a person is living a kind of circle that contains many people who share the same or similar personalities, but it does not mean that he or she is trapped in that circle, because people can have many kinds of ways of life and various types of friends, so it is difficult to tell a person’s characteristic by estimating his friends.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-6 09:52
Recently, a lot of old buildings are demolished in order to create new ones, because some governor shold the philosophy that these modern constructions can represent the sound and rapid development of the country. Is this the wayif(我觉得都可以吧，这个是一个文章上这么写的) should be? I am not fond of their ideas. Several historic buildings contain special meanings as a part of culture, so we shouldspare no effort to preserve them, even though there is a silver lining in doingthat.
Preservation of historic buildings is a noble endeavor. The practice of preserving, and protecting not only buildings but also whole districts, or parks and monuments（这是protect的对象，主语是practice ）ensures that the future generation will have the opportunity to appreciate the great heritage of the past. Can you imagine what it would be if the Great Pyramids of Egypt were not preserved in a method? And if, at some point, the Cathedrals of the Medieval and Renaissance period were not preserved, theloss of such great architectural works would have been likened to the ruins of ancient Roman and Greece. These structures include such significantcharacters or aesthetic value as part of human’s history, we cannot emphasizethe importance of preserving them too much.
Obviously, these old buildingswitnessed the vicissitude of several kingdoms, which have not only happyendings but also miserable memories. Young people can be inspired to workharder by those heroes who have made great contributions to the country.Simultaneously, people will remember sorrowful past to prevent them fromhappening again. The state of liberty, for example, delivers a message to allhuman beings that we should fight for our freedoms. Therefore, these buildingscan cultivate people’s patriotic emotion and bring us together to establish abetter future.
Meanwhile, old buildings can benefit tourism. Those unique historic stories and beautiful structures attractpeople from all over the world to visit that as aresult, can boost the economic development. Too often we observe thatsome small towns became famous overnight due to those mysterious buildings, soif the government replace them with modern buildings, this action willdefinitely retard the acceleration in economy.
Admittedly, with the rapiddevelopment of economy and boom of population, we need new buildings to satisfy the demanding of specific purposes. For instance, for the sake of accommodatingmore people and attracting more overseas companies, new skyscrapers needed tobe established. However, all of these purposes with preserving the old buildings taken into account.
To sum up, new chapters willbe written, and history needs to be remembered. If single-minded governors pursue the prosperity of society by sacrificing our precious history, I do not believe that our civilization will progress, and the demolishing of historic buildings equals to the removal of a great chapter of our history, which results in a fraction断层 both in culture and in human’s civilization. So, in view of the seriousness of the problem of demolishing old buildings, effective measures should be taken before things get worse.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-6 11:52
The practice of preserving, and protecting not only buildings but also wholedistricts, or parks and monuments ensures that
V 三单
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-6 11:55
我觉得你看的那本书把 it 错打成 if 了。
Is this the way if (it) should be?
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-6 11:55
对对，哈哈，谢谢鸟姐
作者: stones4 时间: 2012-4-6 13:41
4月5日
110528NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One can learn a lot about the person from the type of friends the person has.
Some people will judge a person based on his friends, because they hold the philosophy that people with the similar traits are usually more likely to be associated with each other. At the first glance, this argument seems plausible, however, from my personal observation, such a belief may not be impeccable.好开头
Obviously, the personalities of a person can be multifaceted and it is too simple to appraise him or her just based on the friends he or she has. On different occasions, a person can behave totally differently. A seemingly serious man may act casually privately and vice versa that thus havehas entirely different kinds of friends. Take my college teacher for example. Pro. Zhang teaches us accounting and has a lot of friends in academic circle.(my accounting teacher Pro. Zhang who has o lot of friends share the same domain这样感觉是不是更好一些)From this point, people may judge that he is a martinet因为学术所以严肃？, just like many of the cynics who living in the ivory tower.象牙塔里的人很martinet？On the other hand,这里使用表转折的词是否更好 privately, he is a super football fan, and often goes into raptures at the mere mention of the club he supports wins the title. Accordingly, it is unilateral to assess a person based on the friends he or she has.前面已经用过一次喽，换一个用法更赞啦
True, people with separate social status or interests may also be good friends for various reasons. In my dorm, for instance, six students are living in one room, and sharing different attributes有点中式英语的干嚼. Three of us like basketball, and two are big fans of comic, and only I am fond of classic music. Another example is in the famous sitcom ‘Friends’. Six people of different social backgrounds and distinctive characteristics become closely related. We may never know Joey, an actor, is by looking at his friends Ross, a researcher. Therefore, it is somewhat naïve to say that knowing a person’s friends can help us really know a person.
Admittedly, people with similar concerns tend to be more closely related to each other. To put it exactly, it is usually impossible to let a person who is introverted to make friend with another去掉extroverted one. People with similar social status or interests are more likely to hang out together, because their ways of live are subjected to similar factors. Sometimes housewives may become acquainted with housewives in the supermarket; people who love sports often make friends in the gym. However I still challenge the idea that we can really know about people by what kind of friends they have.这段总体weaken了主要观点哦
I concede that a person is living a kind of circle that contains many people who share the same or similar personalities, but it does not mean that he or she is trapped in that circle, because people can have many kinds of ways of life and various types of friends, so it is difficult to tell a person’s characteristic by estimating his friends.
以下是个人建议，仅供参考
用词很好，但是个人感觉是一边写一边查字典的感觉，有些用法说不出的奇怪，在用词的准确度上要加强。
但总体上，词汇很出彩。
行文整体还是很流畅的！这个很棒！
第三段，反面说的太多了，就在最后一句转了个折哦
句式的变化。在陈述事件上的句子的流畅性远不如议论板块。
还有有些意思可以简单概括的，感觉为了句子加了好多冗长的东西。多点多余了···
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-6 13:47
对对，哈哈，谢谢鸟姐
-- by 会员 prodliu (2012/4/6 11:55:51)
prod姐姐很过分是不是。。。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-6 22:35
4月5日 110528NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One can learn a lot about the person from the type of friends the person has.
Some people will judge a person based on his friends, because they hold the philosophy that people with the similar traits are usually more likely to be associated with each other. (觉得“有关联”和“做朋友”还是有差别的,仇人也是有关联的。 establish friendships.）At the first glance, this argument seems plausible, however, from my personal observation, such a belief may not be impeccable.
Obviously, the personalities of a person can be multifacet and it is too simple to appraise him or her just based on the friends he or she has. On different occasions, a person can behave totally differently. A seemingly serious man may act casually privately and vice versa that(多余)thus have entirely different kinds of friends.（这句话什么因果啊？诡异~） Take my college teacher for example. Pro. Zhang teaches us accounting and has a lot of friends in academic circle. From this point, people may judge that he is a martinet, just like many of the cynics who（删除） living in the ivory tower. On the other hand, privately, he is a super football fan, and often goes into raptures at the mere mention of the （+news that the 这句话你run on 了吧）club he supports wins the title. Accordingly, it is unilateral to assess a person based on the friends he or she has.
True, people with separate（不懂） social status or interests may also be good friends for various reasons. In my dorm, for instance, six students are living in one room, and sharing different attributes. Three of us like basketball, and（删） two are big fans of comic, and only I am fond of classic music. Another example is in the famous sitcom ‘Friends’. Six people of different social backgrounds and distinctive characteristics become closely related. We may never know （+what a man）Joey, an actor, is by looking at his friends Ross, a researcher. Therefore, it is somewhat naïve to say that knowing a person’s friends can help us really know a person.
Admittedly, people with similar concerns tend to be more closely related to each other. To put it exactly, it is usually impossible to let a person who is introverted to make friend with another extroverted one. People with similar social status or interests are more likely to hang out together, because their ways of live（life名词）are subjected to similar factors. Sometimes（删除更对称） housewives may become acquainted with housewives in the supermarket; people who love sports often make friends in the gym. However I still challenge the idea that we can really know about people by what kind of friends they have.（这样转折太突兀了吧？至少后面带一句原因吧。）
I concede that a person is living （active in）a kind of circle that contains many people who share the same or similar personalities, but it does not mean that he or she is trapped in that circle, because people can have many kinds of ways of life and various types of friends, so(So另起一句吧，我觉得一句话不能because ,so 都出现) it is difficult to tell a person’s characteristic by estimating his friends.
其实我个人比较支持自己计时写完，然后利用各种工具书修改完善后再拿来对改，这样节省伙伴修改低级语法错误的时间。欣赏高水平的文章获得更大进步嘛。
你为什么把朋友都等价于有关联的人？
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-6 22:56
中文的“人与人关系密切”跟英文的closely related to 不太一样吧。英文表示一种有联系而已，无论好坏的关系。
你可以说 Air is closely related to people.
His failure in the exam was closely related to his poor health condition.
这句子我自己造的，我查查牛津再跟你交流。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-6 23:19
查了查，related 的解释：
1. connected with sb or sth in some way
eg: a related issue 相关课题
Much of the crime in this area is related to drug abuse. 这一地区许多犯罪与滥用毒品有关。
2. in the same family
eg: We are distantly related. 我们是远亲。
3. belonging to the same group
eg: related species 同一物种
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-7 09:00
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-7 09:01
4月5日 110528NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One can learn a lot about the person from the type of friends the person has.
Some people will judge a person based on his friends, because they hold the philosophy that people with the similar traits are usually more likely to establish friendship. At the first glance, this argument seems plausible, however, from my personal observation, such a belief may not be impeccable.
Obviously, the personalities of a person can be multifacet and it is too simple to appraise him or her just based on the friends he or she has. On different occasions, a person can behave totally differently. A seemingly serious man may act casually privately and vice versa, thus have entirely different kinds of friends. Take my college teacher for example. Pro. Zhang teaches us accounting and has a lot of friends in academic circle. From this point, people may judge that he is a martinet, just like many of the cynics living in the ivory tower. On the other hand, privately, he is a super football fan, and often goes into raptures at the mere mention of the news that the club he supports wins the title. Accordingly, it is unilateral to assess a person based on the friends he or she has.
True, people with separate(不同的) social status or interests may also be good friends for various reasons. In my dorm, for instance, six students are living in one room, and sharing different attributes. Three of us like basketball, two are big fans of comic, and only I am fond of classic music. Another example is in the famous sitcom ‘Friends’. Six people of different social backgrounds and distinctive characteristics become best friends. We may never know what a men Joey, an actor, is by looking at his friends Ross, a researcher. Therefore, it is somewhat naïve to say that knowing a person’s friends can help us really know a person.
Admittedly, people with similar concerns tend to be more closely related to each other. To put it exactly, it is usually impossible to let a person who is introverted to make friend with another extroverted one. People with similar social status or interests are more likely to hang out together, because their ways of life are subjected to similar factors. Housewives may become acquainted with housewives in the supermarket; people who love sports often make friends in the gym. However, I still challenge the idea that we can really know about people by what kind of friends they have due to the complex of human’s characteristic.
I concede that a person is living a kind of circle that contains many people who share the same or similar personalities, but it does not mean that he or she is trapped in that circle, because people can have many kinds of ways of life and various types of friends. Therefore it is difficult to tell a person’s characteristic by estimating his friends.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-7 10:28
阅！
蛤蛤，Prod妹子的文章真流畅！
作者: 周花生 时间: 2012-4-7 10:33
1.结构很好字数很好语法很好
2,你似乎非常喜欢用大词是考完GRE的后遗症吗？我也有（希望你不要生气。。。。。）
A。cynic只有大写的时候表示犬儒主义者 可是在这里犬儒也似乎不太合适
小写的时候表示one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest
B。martinet是个十足的贬义词 甚至有批评的含义。和臭老九有点像。。。（不过在文中也没什么要紧的）
我用的是韦氏词典和柯林斯
写的真的很好呢。。！！！
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-7 13:57
哈哈，我考的是GMAT
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-7 17:16
TPO3 综合
The lecture is mainly talking about three characteristics about a Rembrandt’s painting to show that this painting is drawn by him, which challenges what stated in the reading material that it could not be a work by Rembrandt.
In the passage, it is said that the dressing about the woman does not fit with the style Rembrandt likes. However, the lecturer claims that the fur collar of the woman was added by someone else for increasing the value of the painting hundreds of years ago. So, the original painting is just the kind of Rembrand favorite style.
The passage argues that the way of light and shadow applying shows that these elements do not fit together and thus it is not pictured by Rembrandt. Nevertheless, the speaker contends that once the added collar was removed, the original painting would be seen, and it shows that the women wears a simple color cloth, and the light color of cloth reflects the light, which illuminate woman’s face, that is the reason why her face do not appear partially in shadow. Therefore, the light and shadow in the original painting displays that this painting is very realistic and is absolutely Rembrant’s work.
Considering the wood panel, the lecturer believes that when the fur collar was added, some pieces of wood glued together to enlarge the painting in order to make the painting more grant and valuable. And the original painting was on a single panel. More evidences point out that the wood used in this painting comes from the same tree, which was used to be other Rembrant’s paintings back.
Accordingly, the contents in the passage are totally jeopardized by the lecturer, and the speaker uses three points to substantiate her opinion.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-7 18:01
TPO4 综合
In the lecture, the professor says that some scientists question the facts of the argument stated in the passage that the dinosaurs are endotherms.
According to the passage, some dinosaurs’ fossils were found in polar areas, and this finding shows that dinosaurs are endothermy animals, which can maintain their body’s temperature. However, the lecturer claims that the temperature of that time in the polar region is may be lower than what is today, and the warmer weather allows the animals that are not endotherm, such as dinosaurs to live. Moreover, even in the cold weather, the dinosaurs could migrate to warm places or just hibernate to deal with the cold weather.
The leg position of the dinosaurs made some people believe that dinosaurs are endotherm, because the legs of all modern endotherms are underneath the body. But, the speaker holds different opinion. The professor gives another explanation that this kind of body structure could be as a mean to hold more weight due to the large size of dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs indeed have a kind of bone structure named Habersian canals. However, researchers also found some growth rings near this bone structure. And these growth rings show that during a specific period, the dinosaurs did not grow quickly, and even stop growing in the cooling time. This pattern of growth reflects that the dinosaurs are not endothermy, and if they were, they will not grow slowly in the cold weather.
To sum up, the contents stated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the lecturer, and the professor holds completely different opinions about the evidences to prove that dinosaurs are endotherms.
作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-4-7 23:08
亲~ 我是4.7和你互改独立写作的哦~ 你大概什么时候能写好呢？或者写好在群上给我说下哈！~
我才发现咱们是同一天考的！！！！！！我也是4.28！
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-8 00:27
With a rapid development of science and technology, our social situation changes fast. In order to make their children adapt to this fast changing society, most parents suggest them to do a part-time job. From my personal observation, I highly recommend this idea for the following reasons.
There is a gap between the knowledge we earned from college studying and experience gained from social life. Too often we observed that plenty students complaint that some knowledge and skills obtained from academic classes cannot be applied in a real situation, and that is the reason why the students need to participate more social activities, such as voluntary programs or part-time job. From these activities, young people can not only broaden their horizons, but also become more familiar with the situation out of the ivory tower. For instance, in the college, we usually fix a question and find the solution straightforwardly. However, in reality, sometimes we need to consider the situation thoroughly and logically before we reach the final solutions.
An advantage of taking part-time job is that students can apply the knowledge from books into a working place. Through the daily work, we will discover some domains that needed to improve, and when we back to university, we can just study these specific fields. Take my own experience for example, last year I did an internship at a financial department. During dealing with the cases, I figured out that my analysis ability is weak. Fortunately, my university just offers a course about logical analysis. Finally I made up this gap through my assiduous studying.
Involving within social life with a young age will ensure youngsters become mature. A majority of family have only one child due to the family plan policy, that lead to a phenomenon that parents will spoil their children badly. As a result, this generation has little knowledge about the truth of society. Sometimes they cannot endure unequal treatments or impolite words. Thus, such kind of social activities can make young people grown up both mentally and physically.
Admittedly, some people will argue that too early taking part in job may distract students from study, concerning that students usually have a lot of courses. But, in some degree, I believe that a relative proper mount of social activities will benefit students a lot.
Based on the reasons above, I can draw a conclusion that it is beneficial for the young to do a part-time job as long as it will not conflict their normal life, because such social activity will strong young people’s fortitude and endurance.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-8 12:01
Tpo5 综合
In the passage, three theories are stated as likely explanations of the function of Chaco Canyon great houses. However, the lecturer claims that none of the theories is convincing, and points out flaws in each theory.
The first theory in the passage argues that these houses are built for residential purpose. However, the lecturer the number of fire places contradicts the residential theory. Normally, if these huge houses can hold hundreds of people, there must have many fire places for people to cook. But, even in one of the biggest houses, there are few fire places, thus this theory is unsupportable.
Another theory states that these great houses are used for a function of storing food. On the contrary, the lecturer argues that a place that had been used for storing food, would leave many traces of maize or maize containers, but in the region of Chaco Canyon, there is little indicators about that.
The third theory demonstrates that the houses are used for ceremonial activities due to some broken pots in the excavation. In the lecture, some other materials such as large building tools are found near those pots, and this discovery suggests that these pots may just trashes discarded by workers after finishing their jobs.
To sum up, the contents narrated in the reading are totally jeopardized by the lecturer, and the professors have completely different opinions about the purposes of building these houses.
作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-4-8 23:54
4.7独立写作今晚改了一半，实在是太困了，不好意思明天早上再发上来，真不好意思了
作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-4-9 07:12
抱歉啊，昨天一直没有接触到电脑，今天给你改文~tpo3
TPO3 综合
The lecture is mainly talking about three characteristics about a Rembrandt’s painting to show that this painting is drawn by him, which challenges what stated in the reading material that it could not be a work by Rembrandt.(开头写得很精炼，不错)
(To begin with,)In the passage, it is said that the dressing about the woman does not fit with the style Rembrandt likes. However, the lecturer claims that the fur collar of the woman was added by someone else for increasing the value of the painting hundreds of years（听力里面是a hundred years） ago. So, the original painting is just the kind of Rembrand(Rembrandt's)favorite style.
(Besides,)The passage argues that the way of light and shadow applying(是名词吗?)shows that these elements do not fit together and thus it is not pictured by Rembrandt. Nevertheless, the speaker contends that once the added collar was removed, the original painting would be seen, and it shows that the women wears a simple color cloth, and the light color of cloth reflects the light, which illuminate woman’s face, that is the reason why her face do not appear partially in shadow. Therefore, the light and shadow in the original painting displays that this painting is very realistic and is absolutely Rembrant’s(Rembrandt's)work.
(Moreover)Considering the wood panel, the lecturer believes that when the fur collar was added, some pieces of wood glued together to enlarge the painting in order to make the painting more grant and valuable. And the original painting was on a single panel. More evidences point out that the wood used in this painting comes from the same tree, which was used to be other Rembrant’s paintings back.(另一幅画another painting of Rembrandt)
Accordingly, the contents in the passage are totally jeopardized by the lecturer, and the speaker uses three points to substantiate her opinion. (可以不用写结尾的)
建议：在每段前面加上连词，这样显得有逻辑感。听力已经很强了
作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-4-9 11:45
4.7独立写作改错With a rapiddevelopment of science and technology, our social situation changes fast. Inorder to make their children adapt to this fast changing society, most parentssuggest them(改成the children可能会比them指代清晰一些) to do a part-time job. From my personal observation, I highlyrecommend this idea for the following reasons.
There is a gapbetween the knowledge we earned from college studying（study就好，本身就是名词） and experience gained fromsocial life. Too often we observed that plenty（需要加of？） students complaint that someknowledge and skills obtained from academic classes cannot be applied in a realsituation（physical situation？）, and that is the reason why the students need to participate（in，vt是分享的意思） more social activities, suchas voluntary programs or part-time job（jobs）. From these activities, young people can not only broaden theirhorizons, but also become more familiar with the situation out of the ivorytower. For instance, in the college（at college）, we usually fix a question and find the solution straightforwardly.However, in reality, sometimes we need to consider the situation thoroughly andlogically before we reach the final solutions.
An advantage oftaking part-time job is that students can apply the knowledge from books into aworking place. Through the daily work, we will discover some domains that （are）needed to improve, and when we（are） back to university, we can just study these specific fields. Takemy own experience for example, last year I did an internship at a financial department.During dealing with the cases, I figured out that my analysis ability is weak.Fortunately, my university just offers（offered） a course about logical analysis. Finally I made up this gap throughmy assiduous studying.
Involving within social lifewith（within） a young age will ensure youngsters become mature. A majority offamily have only one child due to the family plan policy, that（which） lead（leads） to aphenomenon that parents will spoil their children badly. As a result, thisgeneration has little knowledge about the truth of society. Sometimes theycannot endure unequal treatments or impolite words. Thus, such kind of socialactivities can make young people grown（grow或者growing） up both mentally and physically.
Admittedly, somepeople will argue that too early taking part in job may distract students fromstudy, concerning that students usually have a lot of courses. But, in somedegree, I believe that a relative proper mount of social activities willbenefit students a lot.
作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-4-9 17:08
Prodliu这是把好几天的综合写作都提前写完了啊，嘎嘎、好勤奋……
一会回去就看，提醒下表忘记贴链接哦
In the lecture, the professor says that some scientists question the facts of the argument stated in the passage that the dinosaurs are endotherms.(简洁直接，good~)
According to the passage, some dinosaurs’ fossils were found in polar areas, and this finding shows that dinosaurs are endothermy animals, which can maintain their body’s temperature. However, the lecturer claims that the temperature of that time in the polar region is may be(is maybe)lower(?我怎么听得是warmer than today呢) than what is(that of...这个地方我觉得你说的应该也是对的，但是又觉得比较的话前后是不是应该一致呢,请prodliu大神斟酌~) today, and the warmer weather allows the animals that are not endotherm(s), such as(like...such as后面应该是跟着好几个的) dinosaurs to live. Moreover, even in the cold weather, the dinosaurs could migrate to warm places or just hibernate(听的好仔细的说，我都听不出来，听出来了也拼不出来...膜拜ing) to deal with the(个人觉得不用加the也可以) cold weather.
The leg position of the dinosaurs made some people believe that dinosaurs are endotherm, because the legs of all modern endotherms are underneath the body.(我认为这个句子最好点明一下是reading说的，我猜是忘记写了。。。) But, the speaker holds different opinion(s). The professor gives another explanation that this kind of body structure could be as a mean(?是不是means,应该是单复同形的吧) to hold more weight due to the large size of dinosaurs.(我觉得这一段基本的点倒是说出来了，但是好像细节比较少呢，建议大神再听听原文看看有木有新的发现)
Dinosaurs indeed have a kind of bone structure named Habersian(拼错了不过没有大碍) canals. However, researchers also found some growth rings near this bone structure(首先我觉得near这么用就不大对，其次应该是在bone structure里面吧，它说的是have，应该是in吧？). And these growth rings show that during a specific period, the dinosaurs did not grow quickly, and even stop growing in the cooling time. This pattern of growth reflects that the dinosaurs are not endothermy, and if they were, they will not grow slowly in the cold weather.
To sum up, the contents stated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the lecturer, and the professor holds completely different opinions about the evidences to prove that dinosaurs are endotherms. (我觉得最后一句仔细读读还是分成两句写感觉舒服。)
论点一二三建议写一下，建议比较俗，但是感觉会比较有条理些呢。
第二个点建议再听一下细节。
大神就是大神。。。如果我改的不对的地方欢迎探讨~
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-9 20:42
tpo6综合
The lecturer contradicts the criticisms stated in passage by talking that these criticisms show prejudices on communal online encyclopedia and ignore some achievements it has made. And the speaker uses three arguments to substantiate his idea.
To begin with, the passage discusses that people to the communal online encyclopedia usually lack professional skills, and then may make errors. On the contrary, the professor claims that the traditional encyclopedias have never been close to perfectly accurate and sometimes it is impossible to find a really comprehensive reference without any mistakes. He also points out that it is easy for online encyclopedias to correct mistakes, while errors within the traditional encyclopedias need several years to be devised.
Moreover, the author demonstrates that the online encyclopedias are vulnerable target to hackers. But, the lecturer mentions two strategies of online encyclopedias to protect from hacking. The first one is that they only offer some vital articles in read format, so that no one can change it. Another strategy is hiring some special editors whose job is to monitor all articles. Above solutions can prevent such accidents narrated in the passage from happening.
Finally, the professor raise a issue that the problem of tradition encyclopedias is the limited space that as a result they have to choose the important articles and omit unimportant ones. However, the problem for the traditional version is not an issue for online encyclopedias. They can post a great deal of articles and satisfy the great diversity of users' interests. More amazingly, the diversity of its articles is one of their strongest advantages.
To sum up, the contents stated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker and the professor has completely different opinions about the online encyclopedias.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-10 08:22
4月9日 110415 NA Which is more important: having more facilities or hiring more teachers?
Recently, there is a common phenomenon that many universities allot a majority of their financial budget to perfect facilities or purchase advanced equipment. Is this the way if should be? I am not supportive of this idea, and as far as I am concerned, an increasing mount of budget should be allotted to teachers’ system.
In ancient China, an educator, a great thinker, and a social philosopher, Confucius once said that a teacher is who can propagate the doctrine，impart professional knowledge，and resolve doubts. His philosophies influenced many generations, and people usually regard his words as the truth. Pretty apparently, Confucius points out three characteristics of a teacher, and each attribute demonstrates a key factor, that is teachers will involve more communication with students. Presenting knowledge is not the only goal of a teacher. He or she usually guides students to reach the destination of the truth and find the solution to a question all by themselves. We all know that education is not complete with graduation, and people will face many issues to learn and resolve, if we only the truth but seldom possess the method, I do not think that we can handle them. From this point, facilities or equipment provide no more than some vivid pictures or videos, students cannot establish mind connections with them, and they indeed offers helps during classes, but the vital part in study is teachers.
A grant building will sooner or later fade, but the feat left by those honorable teachers will not. Our students can be encouraged stimulated by teachers they esteemed. Take my university for example. My college is founded by Premier Zhou. And every time I pass through a bust of him, I will remember what he have contributed to our nation, be moved by his dedication, and then make a resolution to contribute to society. However, those facilities cannot provide things like that.
Admittedly, we cannot ignore the important role of facilities. For instance, we can have a better understanding of a topic through a computer, which offers more information; and teachers may introduce a theory more generalized based on some applications. But, I have to maintain that these useful equipment just play a role in assisting in course, our teachers are the main actors in this knowledge stage.
We cannot emphasize the importance of teachers too much, and it pays for schools, from elementary schools to universities, to pay more attention to the improvement of teachers’ abilities. Simultaneously, some functional facilities can be employed to help qualified teachers impart knowledge.
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-10 10:01
4月7日 110513 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the ways that parents can help children be ready for adult life is to ask them to do a part-time job.
With a rapid development of science and technology, our social situation changes fast.（前半句俗气，后半句歧义！Over the past few decades, our world is developing at an unparalleled speed.）In order to make（help吧） their children adapt to this fast changing society, most parents suggest them to do a part-time job. From my personal observation, I highly recommend this idea for the following reasons. （弄得跟六级作文似的）
There is a gap between the knowledge we earned( obtained 有earn the knowledge? ) from college studying (study名词优与Ving) and experience gained from social life. Too often we observed that plenty students complaint (complained你写的是名词) that some knowledge and skills obtained from academic classes cannot be applied in a real situation, and that is the reason why the students need to participate（+in） more social activities, such as voluntary programs or part-time job. From these activities, young people can not only broaden their horizons, but also become(get吧) more familiar with the situation out of the ivory tower. For instance, in the college, we usually fix a question (什么意思啊) and find (seek out吧) the solution straightforwardly. However, in reality, sometimes we need to consider the situation thoroughly and logically before we reach the final solutions.
An advantage of taking part-time job is that students can apply the knowledge from books into a working place（a real practice）. Through the daily work, we will discover some domains that needed (need 为啥要被动) to improve(be improved 要被动), and when we back to university, we can just study (further our study in) these specific fields（+ to diversify our educational backgrounds感觉你说的不妥啊，实习回来都是更多充电，怎么会just study certain subjects）. Take my own experience for example, last year I did an internship at a financial department (不是说让你最好加个具体的公司名字嘛？不听老人言。。。). During dealing with the cases, I figured out that my analysis ability is weak. Fortunately, my university just offers a course about logical analysis. Finally I made up this gap through my assiduousstudying（study）.
Involving within social life with a young age will ensureyoungsters become mature. (这句各种不顺，Involve被动吧，ensure sth/that 吧。改改：Involving youngsters in social life at an early age can better prepare them for challenges they will face in careers and lives.)A majority offamily (today’s families) have only one child due to the family plan policy (family planning policy 固定的), that lead to a phenomenon that (+most 严谨点) parents will spoil their children badly. As a result, this generation has little knowledge about the truth of society. Sometimes they cannot endure unequal treatments or impolite words. Thus, such kind of social activities can make young people grown up（仿佛是对的，但是你能给我讲讲这个是原型还是变形嘛，是V还是adj, 我自己查了也不会。） both mentally and physically.
Admittedly, some people will argue that too early taking part in job （too early移到后面顺）may distract students from study, concerning that students usually have a lot of courses. But, in some degree, I believe that a relative (relatively) proper mount（amount）of social activities will benefit students a lot.
Based on the reasons above, I can draw a conclusion that it is beneficial for the young to do a part-time job as long as it will not conflict (+with) their normal life, because such social activity will strong(没动词好不好 build ) young people’s fortitude and endurance.
我觉得这一篇加上过渡词更好，因为没有明显的转的标志，段落之间也没衔接。句子毛病也相对多了一点吧。
每次改完你的都觉得把我自己掏空了，我也回去得recharge myself了。
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-10 10:11
" Is this the way if should be? "
K！ 不小心瞥见一句。你这么坚持啊。
I believe, You are wasting other's time and energy !!!
作者: 喵喵了个咪 时间: 2012-4-10 10:16
改4月9日 110415 NA Which is more important: having more facilities or hiring more teachers?
Recently, there is a common phenomenon that many universities allot a majority of their financial budget to perfect facilities or purchase advanced equipment. Is this the way if should be?(是想说it should be吗？用if句尾应该加or not吧) I am not supportive of this idea, and as far as I am concerned, an increasing mount of budget should be allotted to teachers’ system.
In ancient China, an educator, a great thinker, and a social philosopher, Confucius once said that a teacher is who can propagate the doctrine，impart professional knowledge，and resolve doubts. His philosophies influenced many generations, and people usually regard his words as the truth. Pretty apparently, Confucius points out three characteristics of a teacher, and each attribute demonstrates a key factor, that is teachers will involve more communication with students. Presenting knowledge is not the only goal of a teacher. He or she usually guides students to reach the destination of the truth and find the solution to a question all by themselves. We all know that education is not complete with graduation, and people will face many issues to learn and resolve, if we only realize the truth but seldom possess the method, I do not think that we can handle them. From this point, facilities or equipment provide no more than some vivid pictures or videos, students cannot establish mind connections with them, and they indeed offers(offer主谓一致) helps during classes, but the vital part in study is teachers.(我觉得这段举的孔子的例子与论点应该重点论述老师可以与学生有更多的交流，文中的传播知识神马的就可以省略了，因为不能突出老师与设备之间的矛盾，显示老师更为重要。)
A grant building will sooner or later fade, but the feat left by those honorable teachers will not. Our students can be encouraged and stimulated by teachers they esteemed. Take my university for example. My college is founded by Premier Zhou. And every time I pass through a bust of him, I will(时态不对，用still比较好) remember what he have contributed to our nation, be moved by his dedication, and then make a resolution to contribute to society. However, those facilities cannot provide things like that.
Admittedly, we cannot ignore the important role of facilities. For instance, we can have a better understanding of a topic through a computer, which offers more information; and teachers may introduce a theory more generalized based(没有必要用被动) on some applications. But, I have to maintain that these useful equipment just play a role in assisting in course, our teachers are the main actors in this knowledge stage.(没有具体反驳这段比设备能让我们更好的理解topic，只是说teachers are the main actors没有论据。)
We cannot emphasize the importance of teachers too much, and it pays for schools, from elementary schools to universities, to pay more attention to the improvement of teachers’ abilities. Simultaneously, some functional facilities can be employed to help qualified teachers impart knowledge.(应该加强论点hiring more teachers,否则显得中心不明确了。)
除了一些小的语法错误，文笔很不错的。不愧是大神。
文章的逻辑和结构也比较缜密。除了最后一段有点瑕疵。
然后就是我觉得第三四段的论据不够充分，尤其是第四段的反驳论据，只是说了老师是主导的，并没用用具体的例子来反驳”we cannot ignore the important role of facilities.”
如果我哪里说得不对欢迎大神和我讨论~~
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-10 10:20
Tpo5 综合
In the passage, three theories are stated as likely explanations of the function of Chaco Canyon great houses. However, the lecturer claims that none of the theories is convincing, and points out flaws in each theory.
The first theory in the passage argues that these houses are built for residential purpose. However, the lecturer（deems that） the number of fire places contradicts the residential theory. Normally, if these huge houses can hold hundreds of people, there must have（been） many fire places for people to cook. But, even in one of the biggest houses, there are few fire places, thus this theory is unsupportable.
Another theory (in the reading) states that these great houses are used for a function of storing food. On the contrary, the lecturer argues that a place that had been used for storing food, would leave many traces of maize or maize containers, but in the region of Chaco Canyon, there is little(few可数) indicators about that.
The third theory demonstrates that the houses are used for ceremonial activities due to some broken pots in the excavation. In the lecture, some other materials such as large building tools are found near those pots, and this discovery suggests that these pots may just trashes discarded by workers after finishing their jobs.
To sum up, the contents narrated in the reading are totally jeopardized by the lecturer, and the professors have completely different opinions about the purposes of building these houses.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-11 18:45
tpo8
TPO8
The speaker disagrees with the statement in the passage that some critics pointed out Chevalier distorted or concocted events in his memoir, instead, she thinks that the Chevalier's memoir is pretty accurate and reliable.
First of all, in the reading, critics mention that Chevalier's wealth came from a Swiss merchant, and actually, he was quite poor. So he must fabricate stories about his wealthy life. However, the lecturer states that the loan from merchant does not mean his poverty. Chevalier did spend a lot of money on parties and gambling, but he did that by selling his things, and sometimes it took several days to wait the money back, and that is the reason he borrowed money.
Moreover, critics challenge the accuracy about the content in the conversations with Voltaire. O n the contrary, the speaker believes that these contents are accurate. According to Chevalier, he wrote everything he could remember during the conversation, and many witnesses confirmed that he consulted notes when composing the memoir.
Furthermore, critics claimed that Chevalier escaped from the jail by bribing officers. Oppositely, the speaker contends that many his contemporary people in the jail had more powerful friends in social, they did not escape by bribing, how did Chevalier can escape by doing so? In addition, some old documents from the prison suggest that the ceilings in the jail were repaired after his escape. This evidence can prove the truth that he escaped from jail.
To sum up, the lecture totally disagrees with the views in the passage, and points out her opinions to support the accuracy of Chevalier’s memoir.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-15 00:37
马上要考了，写寂静的作文
101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?
Nowadays, some people are more inclined to begin to deal with a project after finishing another, while others prefer to process more projects simultaneously. In my point of view, processing projects one by one or handling several tasks at the same time depends on the attribute of projects, because choosing a proper method under a specific situation will yield twice the results with half effort.
On one hand, projects that are closely related with each other could be done at the same time. For one thing, relative projects usually contain similar motif. They either possess an identical mechanism or could be processed by the same method, so dealing with such projects can help you come across a same principle or theory for a better understanding of the issue and inspire you to discover a convenient way to finish them. Take my own experience for example. Once I was engaged in several accounting exams, and at the very beginning, I was confused by so much professional terms. Later, when I made a connection among them I found some identical characteristics and a general way to memorize these terms. As a result, I got high scores in each subject. Furthermore, multitasking method can increase your working efficiency and effectiveness, and save your time and energy from repetitive works.
On the other hand, doing just one project at a time enables people concentrate on it and a better chance to finish it quickly. Confronted with the situation where everything is labeled “limited”, people have to focus on time, human labor, resources etc. in order to finish tasks as soon as possible. In addition, people could deliver high-quality results by doing just one project. Taking responsibility of several projects at the same time means distracted attention, great pressure and tight schedule. According to an experimental statistics, only the feeling of overburden will trigger people’s anxiety that will bring about the memory and initiative in decline. In this way, no matter how hard they try, high rate of mistakes are reported in the group of people who are assigned more workload.
Too often we just follow the stereotype rules and are reluctant to change, especially when we confront with the issues above. What we need is to analyze the situation thoroughly and logically, and then make a decision to choose the most appropriate method to process projects.
作者: prodliu 时间: 2012-4-15 01:08
20091031
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lost of old friends?
Living in the modern society, one has to have a network even though he or she decides to live alone. In the meantime, migration has become a notable demographic feature. Some are reluctant to migrate, worrying about losing old friends. However, in the midst of all technological advances and complexity of interpersonal relationship, that concern is a bit too much. I contend that moving to a new city has nothing to do with the loss of old friends.
One needs only observe the multiple ways and cutting-edge infrastructure by which information is being communicated to understand why the national boundary or oceans can by no means hinder our relationship. Dating 500 years ago when oceans were still insuperable/insurmountable obstacles, people’s friendship was largely determined geographically. Yet the oceans have now becoming highways that significantly shrunk the world in a way that perpetuates one’s friendship with others even when he moves to a new continent.
Nowadays, the world is tightened in a way that has no precedent. The global has witnessed the rise of social networking online, which among many technological advances most directly transforms the way friendship is formed and maintained. People share links, dairies, and videos online, meet friends who share the common interests and chat live, a phenomenon that obviates the need to make friends physically and to be concentrated about losing old friends as a consequence of migration. Despite a distance of thousands of miles away, one could still readily keep in touch with friends.
Besides, more insight into friendship substantiates my point as well. In essence, friendship refers not merely to physical relationship. Alternatively, except for that friends talk, play and travel together, people care about each other spiritually, an element that accounts for truly valuable friendship. In this sense, moving to a new country could at most reduce people’s physical, not spiritual interaction, which is not limited by space or time.
To sum up, I disagree with the statement that moving to live in a new country threatens our old friendship in terms of the advanced communication technologies and the nature of friendship.
作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-4-17 01:46
101210 NAWhich do you prefer, finishing one projectbefore starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?
Nowadays, some people are more inclined tobegin to deal with a project after finishing another, while others prefer toprocess more projects simultaneously. In my point of view, processing projectsone by one or handling several tasks at the same time depends on the attributeof projects, because choosing a proper method under a specific situation will yield twice the results withhalf effort.
On one hand, projects that are closelyrelated with each other could be done at the same time. For one thing, relativeprojects usually contain similar motif（用motif不太好，指的是文艺作品的主题，我觉得换成theme或者core吧？）. They either possess an identical mechanism or could be processedby the same method, so dealing with such projects can help you come across asame principle or theory for a better understanding of the issue and inspireyou to discover a convenient way to finish them. Take my own experience forexample. Once I was engaged in several accounting exams, and at the verybeginning, I was confused by so much professional terms. Later, when I made aconnection among them I found some identical characteristics and a general wayto memorize these terms. As a result, I got high scores in each subject.Furthermore, multitasking method can increase your working efficiency andeffectiveness, and save your time and energy from repetitive works.
On the other hand, doing just one projectat a time enables people concentrate on it and a better chance to finish itquickly. Confronted with the situation where everything is labeled “limited”, peoplehave to focus on time, human labor, resources etc. in order to finish tasks assoon as possible. In addition, people could deliver high-quality results bydoing just one project. Taking responsibility of several projects at the sametime means distracted attention, great pressure and tight schedule. Accordingto an experimental statistics, only the feeling of overburden will triggerpeople’s anxiety that will bring about the memory and initiative in decline. Inthis way, no matter how hard they try, high rate of mistakes are reported inthe group of people who are assigned more workload.
Too often we just follow the stereotyperules and are reluctant to change, especially when we confront with the issuesabove. What we need is to analyze the situation thoroughly and logically, andthen make a decision to choose the most appropriate method to process projects.
膜拜大神！写的太好了我实在是改不出什么了！求教大神的写作方法什么的！
作者: daisyの小夢想 时间: 2012-4-17 09:03
pro，我发现TPO12的综合我写过了，所以不重写了，等你写好我帮你改哈~
作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2012-4-17 10:59
修改
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city
or a new country because of the lost of old friends?
Living in the modern society, one has to have a（删除，network直接当做V）network even though he or she decides to live alone. In the meantime, migration has become a notable demographic feature. Some are reluctant to migrate, worrying about losing old friends.（没看出前三句是怎么联系起来的？）However, in the midst of all technological advances and complexity of interpersonal relationship, that concern is a bit too much (unnecessary). I contend that moving to a new city has nothing to do with the loss of old friends.
One needs only observe（need only observe/ only needs to observe要么是跟can一样的情态v无变形，要么是实意动词有变形）the multiple ways and cutting-edge infrastructure by which information is being communicated to understand why the national boundary or oceans can by no means hinder our relationship. (Through observing…will one understand…) Dating（back to） 500 years ago when oceans were still insuperable/insurmountable obstacles,people’s friendship was largely determined geographically. Yet the oceans have now becoming highways that significantly shrunk the world in a way that perpetuates one’s friendship with others even when he moves to a new continent. (怎么把ocean比作highway? 又不是ocean将人与人之间联系起来了啊)
Nowadays, the world is tightened in a way that has no precedent. The global has witnessed the rise of social networking online (online social networking 社交网络), which among many technological advances most directly transforms the way friendship is formed and maintained. People share links, dairies, and videos online, meet friends who share the common interests and chat live（make new acquaintances with people who share the common interests 不要说碰面了吧，跟后面physical不吻合）, a phenomenon that obviates the need to make friends physically and to be concentrated about losing old friends as a consequence of migration. Despite a distance of thousands of miles away, one could still readily keep in touch with friends.
Besides, more insight into friendship substantiates my point as well. In essence, friendship refers not merely to physical relationship. Alternatively, except for that friends talk, play and travel together, people care about each other spiritually, an element that accounts for truly valuable friendship. In this sense, moving to a new country could at most reduce people’s physical, not （我总觉得你这个句子重心是前面的reduce people’s physical interaction，然后which指代它了。要不逗号去掉用 rather than ？）spiritual interaction, which is not limited by space or time.
To sum up, I disagree with the statement that moving to live in a new country threatens our old friendship in terms of （歧义啊，可以理解成 friendship in terms of. 改成，considering） the advanced communication technologies and the nature of friendship.
第一个论点是讲交友方式和设备多样化？我看的有点不清不楚的，感觉ocean论据很奇怪。第二三比较清晰了。
真的是感悟颇深啊，写的很深刻。
作者: miss绿光 时间: 2012-4-17 16:53
prod的作文好强悍！
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