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标题: 作文交流贴 ISSUE 5---第三次写作以及心得兼求拍 [打印本页]

作者: jameszhm 时间: 2011-10-23 12:10
标题: 作文交流贴 ISSUE 5---第三次写作以及心得兼求拍
1.觉得列提纲速度过慢，可能思维不够开阔，一时想不到好的例子。
2.打字速度过慢，龟爬。
3.过程中过于寻找好的句式，阻碍了速度
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Issue5

"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

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本人习作时间：45min 字数:475

What's the efficient way to preserve the cultural traditions(CTs)?according to the speaker,government must ensure their majour cities receive the financial support to thrive where their traditional culture are preserved and generated.as the knowledge i have known,the speaker have overstated the importance of the major cities and the financial support to CTs.

In terms of some case,i agree that major cities play a very unique role in preserving and generating CTs.we may take beijing for example where roots famous chinese CTs.beijing has become the center of the nation long long ago, therefore, it owns the invaluable CTs like opera,archetacture, as well as snacks.

Moreover,i am also agree that financial support plays valuable role when comes to culture preserving.technologies would be attracted to lead an important role in preventing the ageing of the archetectures, talents are invited to generating the cultures which would be the new milestone of the culture,both of them would heavily depend on the financial support.henceforth,the industry heavily subsidized would be sophsitcated enough to preserve and generate culture.

Nonetheless,we should take a wider perspective towards CTs, therefore,we would find that the speak have some flaws in his idea which overstated the importance of the major cities.firstly, tradition culture would emerge in every distant area of the nation as well as major cites. we may take dialects for example,there thousands of dialects in china especially in distant area like in canton in south , tibet in west, even in small towns we haven't discovered.i do believe that those dialects are quite valuable composition of chinese CTs.secondly, in some newly found nation, the major city would be to new to be the pool of the CTs, like Washington, it is just the capital city where functions superior to the CTs.

Another aspect of the speaker's flaw is his overstatement of the power of finacial support.we may find that laws and regulations would be the major concern as well, for example , we can control the number of tourists in forbidden city , which would be an efficient way to protect those old architectures.the quality of the citizen in the nation would also be an key factor in preserving and generating CTs.when the new generation have recognized the importance of their CTs, they would act as the agents to promote those cherished culture by learning and creating.the case in taiwan would be persuading. Today ,the traditional cultures are well-preserved by the promotion and preservation of the youth who have discovered and honored their CTs.

In the final analysis, the efficient way to preserve and generate cultural traditions would be determined on a case by case basis by figuring the real pool of the CTs including in the major cities and distant areas, identifying the most powerful way to support the CTs including financial support,regulation and the quality of the new generation.the overstatement of the importance of major cities and financial support would not be widely received.

作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2011-10-23 16:44
其实如果你不急于考试，现在没必要给自己掐时间，练好基本功了，速度自然会上取得

作者: ppguo 时间: 2011-10-24 10:37
哎呀呀，“吸血鬼骑士”（敲这些字都让我汗毛竖起）童鞋写了跟你一个题目的：
http://forum.chasedream.com/GRE_Prep/thread-602066-1-1.html

作者: ppguo 时间: 2011-10-24 10:40
一个问题。你只有每一段的开头大写，后面句子的开头都没有大写。还有只自己的时候，要大写I。

作者: ppguo 时间: 2011-10-24 10:43
我很喜欢你的第一个point.
但是你第一段陈述好像是说：什么是保护文化遗产的最好方式呢？。。。。
这个不是很切题。

写给美国人看的文章，绕弯子是不鼓励的。而且很多时候绕弯子很危险。

作者: jameszhm 时间: 2011-10-25 02:54
还有一个月就要考试了~~~所以很急打字速度比较慢

作者: jameszhm 时间: 2011-10-25 03:05
表示也拍了他~觉得他的例子不够展开

作者: jameszhm 时间: 2011-10-25 03:08
谢谢ppguo;
1.我很喜欢你的第一个point.
你是指北京的point。why?
2但是你第一段陈述好像是说：什么是保护文化遗产的最好方式呢？。。。。
这个不是很切题。
我以为是对题目的一个抽象的提取，有弄巧成拙的吗？觉得题目就是在说保护文化遗产的最好方式~~比如说在城市比如说钱。求指导

作者: ppguo 时间: 2011-10-25 03:14

谢谢ppguo;
1.我很喜欢你的第一个point.
你是指北京的point。why?因为我的第一印象是所有的大城市都差不多，高楼林立；北京的确是大城市中文化遗产保存得比较好的一个例子。
2但是你第一段陈述好像是说：什么是保护文化遗产的最好方式呢？。。。。
这个不是很切题。
我以为是对题目的一个抽象的提取，有弄巧成拙的吗？觉得题目就是在说保护文化遗产的最好方式~~比如说在城市比如说钱。求指导
题目的重点是说：应不应该大力投资发展大城市，支持的原因是大城市可以很好地保存文化遗产，甚至是新文化的发源地。注意题目中的词语“preserved and generated”，不是在讨论如何保护文化遗产。

-- by 会员 jameszhm (2011/10/25 3:08:27)

作者: jameszhm 时间: 2011-11-1 01:19
嗯觉得分析的很有道理审题很重要的~~

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