标题: Argument003,求拍求建议～～～ [打印本页] 作者: lukeyu 时间: 2011-10-12 17:36 标题: Argument003,求拍求建议～～～ 003. The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this recommendation the store owner of the Central Plaza attributes the decline of the number of shoppers to the popularity so that the prohibition of skateboarding has been proposed to the editor and hopes to be convened to publics in order to rescue the disappointing performance of the business of the Central Plaza and disabuse the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza; however, this proposal is so absurd as to be unreasonable and lack so much logical reasoning.
It is common sense that the skateboard players prefer to choose the place that processes relative less people in order to better enjoy this sport. So it is not difficult to conclude that the plaza is not able to attract much people to go shopping before the skateboard has been popular in the Central Plaza, which is counterpart that no evidence shows that it is the popularity of the skateboard in the plaza that lead to the steady decline in the number of shopper. What’s more, the low level of business performance should be mainly due to other reasons which result from the Central Plaza itself.
Besides, the owner claims that the amount of the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza increased dramatically, which has implied that the skateboard users result in this fact; however, there is no abundant evidence is able to show that the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza result from the skateboard and its players. It should be the coincident of the two affairs and it is possible that the lack of cleaning and timely repairing leads to the increase of litter and vandalism.
Moreover, the skateboard is a fashion and popular sport among young adults and able to attract considerable number of young adults to come for shopping, so the prohibition of skateboard may lead to the fact that there is much less number of shoppers compared with ever before. So the owner shall not prohibit the skateboard in the plaza, rather, the tolerance and encouragement to the skateboard may bring the much more benefits for the Central Plaza.
In retrospect, the editor shall not adapted this recommendation whose assumptions and evidences are relative weak and not enough convincible; if it would be committed, the predictable results that, however, may probably weaken the public convincing ability of the newspaper and mislead the discrimination of publics to the skateboard users which betrays the basic social standards. 作者: ppguo 时间: 2011-10-13 01:56
这篇我重拍了啊。 1. 第一段第一句话，有点太长了。“attributes the decline of the number of shoppers to the popularity ” 你这句话的意思是生意不好的原因是popularity, 你应该是想说attribute .... to the skateboarders. 2. 这个argument的最主要的攻击点是说生意不好跟skateboarders没有直接联系。生意不好的原因有很多，业主应该先从自身找原因。这一点没有充分展开说。比如说你的第二段有一句“What’s more, the low level of business performance should be mainly due to other reasons which result from the Central Plaza itself.” 这句话本身可以展开成一段的。而你第二段给出的第一个观点，相对而言是次要的。作者: lukeyu 时间: 2011-10-13 22:45
嗯嗯，第一段切入的角度有些偏，没切中正题～～作者: ppguo 时间: 2011-10-16 10:34
加油加油，自己写，再拍拍别人的，会很快长进。作者: lukeyu 时间: 2011-10-16 12:04
是啊～～