还有更多的samples吗？能不能也给俺发一份呢？dreamchaser618[在] yahoo.com 谢谢
小湘竹，我建议你还是自己写ESSAY比较好！
自己的情况自己了解，只有你自己才最了解你！当然，你可以听取一些过来人的经验和建议，那样会使你的思路更加的开阔。
如果担心自己的英语写作水平，你可以用中文来写啊。定稿后找个好点的翻译公司就可以了，那样的费用会低很多！
Here are some web sites for sample essay:
1. http://www.erraticimpact.com/html/writing_admission_essays.htm
2. http://www.justcolleges.com/essays/index.phtml?no=index.htm
3. http://www.essayedge.com/promo/samplework.shtml
4. I downloaded some mba essay from businessweek but don't know how to upload them. I can send to you if you needs.
4. I downloaded some mba essay from businessweek but don't know how to upload them. I can send to you if you needs.
hi,must750, can you send them to me too? kguo@optonline.net
thanks a lot.
caterpillar, it's sent.
hi must750, can i have them as well?
many many thanks!
Hi, Must 750, you are so great! Could you send them to me pls? My email address is luluzhuzhu(A) hotmail.com
BTW, do you plan to apply this year? Thanks!
可以多参考别人写的 essay,但是自己的一定要自己写！写essay的过程会很痛苦，但这个过程会让你更多的发掘自己，审视自己，思考自己的将来！记住，成功没有捷径！
至于sample essay, CD专门编辑了很多成功申请人的访谈，也有很多essay. 详见本版的置顶贴子
另外 BeBeyond.com出版了一本《其实可以很酷》的成功申请人案例和essay，你可以网上购买
Thanks, must750! Me too. I've found the procedure to apply is so boring. And I am always at sea about what to do. You are so kind and a great help to me! Wish to share more experiences!
Hi, must750. I've got your samples. Thanks again!
也谢谢你，白龙兄！
hi, must75o, can i have the samples too? i also will apply for 2005, hope to share some with you
My email:p-stone@21cn.com and my msn:pamstone1977(A) hotmail.com . Hope to hear from you
一
能不能发给我？3x！！！
yxjoyce(A) hotmail.com
Here are some web sites for sample essay:
1. http://www.erraticimpact.com/html/writing_admission_essays.htm
2. http://www.justcolleges.com/essays/index.phtml?no=index.htm
3. http://www.essayedge.com/promo/samplework.shtml
4. I downloaded some mba essay from businessweek but don't know how to upload them. I can send to you if you needs.
Hi, must750, could you pls send them to me at henrylisheng[在] yahoo.com.cn? Thanks a million!!!
Businessweek sample essay
Arizona (Eller): Essay 1
QUESTION: What are your current career objectives and what role does the MBA have in helping you achieve them?
In order for these continuing effects to be realized a brand management strategy must move beyond the initial placement of a product in the market. Developing a platform on which a brand may extend its reach is critical to success of these long-term positive impacts. Without such a strategy, products will move in to the market and move out just as quickly. The development and maintenance of these strategies in increasingly competitive and fragmented markets is truly where my career interest lies.
Knowing that this is the direction in which I intend to take my career, the next logical step is to take inventory of my skill sets and experiences. This inventory reveals that while I have a strong background with respect to leadership and management skill sets, I do not have a functional knowledge base in the field of marketing. My past successes have been that result of effective employment of my functional expertise in naval logistics and my leadership, management and team building skills. From a functional expertise or functional knowledge point of view, these experiences and successes have little or no relation to neither marketing nor brand management. This is a significant problem if I am to realize my career goals. Now that I have identified the major roadblock to realizing my career goals what do I do next? First I decided I had to leave the Navy. However, separating from the Navy was not an easy decision. I had a good job and one that was largely enjoyable. However, it did not fit into my long-term plans. Thus, when I made the decision to leave the Navy it was paired with the decision to acquire the skill sets and knowledge that will allow me to make my career goals a reality. My post Navy experience has shown me that I have a base of leadership and management skills that are well developed and competitive in a corporate environment. However, my functional expertise in naval logistics has not transferred into a set of skills or knowledge base that is easily utilized in the same environment. Through an MBA program I will seek to develop the knowledge and skill sets that will allow me to compete in the corporate world in the field of marketing.
In choosing Arizona's Eller School of Management as a perspective MBA program I considered many factors. First, it goes without saying that Eller has an impeccable reputation for producing top-notch MBAs. Further, Arizona is clearly making a run up the rankings in recent years. I intend to focus my MBA on marketing, however, I also wish to develop general management, finance and entrepreneurial skill sets as well as to learn how to leverage information systems technologies within the marketing arena. These areas play right into Eller's strengths. Developing these skills will enable me to understand how marketing fits into the larger corporate picture, utilize entrepreneurial knowledge to compete within an organization as well as on my own and hone the leadership and management skills required of future leaders in industry. The Eller School of Management gives me the best chance at attaining these skills and developing them to such a level that I will be able to achieve my long term-career goals.
Second, Arizona's location in the Southwest and its diverse student body are assets of which few schools can boast. The resources and opportunities that exist in this area are unparalleled and growing everyday. The southwest offers a plethora of opportunities for expanding both your professional and personal horizons in a very diverse environment. Eller's efforts to embrace that diversity, both on and off campus, ensure the students a truly robust learning environment, one in which the free exchange of ideas is encouraged. The University of Arizona's environment gives me the best chance to experience culture and ideas in a truly diverse environment.
Lastly, I have chosen Eller because it is hard. I do not have the traditional background that is required of most MBA students. Arizona's MBA program is not a cakewalk for anyone, and that will be especially true of me. However, I will succeed and I will contribute and I will make Arizona's MBA program a better experience for my classmates. Earning my MBA from Eller will be an accomplishment I will be supremely proud of and it gives me the best chance to realize my personal and professional goals.
Boston College (Carroll): Essay 1
QUESTION: What are your career goals upon graduating from the Carroll School of Management at BC? Please be specific. What steps do you plan to take before, during, and after your degree program to achieve career success in this field?
My goal is to become a leader in the nonprofit sector supporting the visual arts. I hope to become an executive director for an arts institution, such as a museum. I believe that the arts are valuable agents for social change, capable of building tourism and economic stability, educational opportunities and mutual understanding among people. My goal is to find creative ways for arts institutions to take full advantage of their cultural resources and provide solid economic development within communities. Museums have a unique capacity to drive tourism and retail sales that exponentially increases a community's economic strength, all while adding to its cultural breadth. I wish to develop these facets to their fullest potential.
I envision leading a nonprofit that specifically works to build markets for local artists and integrates arts curriculum into public schools. At the Museum of [deleted] Foundation, I have built funding constituencies for four museums. These museums consistently integrate education into many aspects of their public programs and exhibitions at great benefit to local families and visitors. While these elements are at play in museums they can also occur in a distinct capacity, as with Aid to Artisans. This global nonprofit represents artists and simultaneously builds their marketing acumen, facilitates the distribution of their products and fortifies their livelihoods.
For four years I have devoted myself to the Museum of [deleted] Foundation. Housed in a beautiful 200 year-old adobe house on the [deleted] Plaza, surrounded by 400 years of multicultural history, the work accomplished by the foundation brings progressive ideas to an historic community. In this extraordinary setting, I have learned the strengths and weaknesses of the four museums whose funding is my charge. Our dynamic foundation manages $12 million in endowment and builds private support for these state museums. The foundation effectively ties together arts, education and economic development by offering state museums an entrepreneurial avenue for growth. We incorporate both the museum shops and a licensing program into fundraising operations, and steady income streams are growing as a result. As Director of Development, my experience has encompassed communications, funding campaigns, finance, donor cultivation, estate planning, management, and marketing inclusively for the museums.
Fundraising is the central focus to the foundation's mission and my work has a major influence on our direction and success as an institution. I am the primary liaison between the museums and their donors and my role is both to promote institutional credibility in the eyes of constituents and to gain their financial commitments. One unexpected benefit of working with the foundation is that I have been given tremendous responsibility. I was promoted to a senior leadership position two years ago, becoming the youngest woman to hold this position in foundation history. I have excelled in building cooperation among museum departments, involving donors in our organizational vision, and improving intra-office relations with museum staff. Additionally, my fundraising colleagues are primarily volunteer board members who are active community leaders 50 to 80 years of age. The ability to gain their respect has developed my confidence as a leader early on in my career. I have learned to work within the [deleted] community to build private funding sources within the political context of a state institution.
I seek an MBA degree from Carroll School of Management because it will empower me to improve the level of professionalism and management in the nonprofit world, while also working to increase sustainable income in a competitive economy. I plan to build relevant finance, marketing and management skills through business studies. Nonprofits need to better translate their needs into a message that communicates with corporate sponsors, engaging businesses to fulfill their corporate goals and fundraising goals at the same time. I intend to gain a better understanding of the private sector and apply it directly to the unique issues and politics of nonprofits.
Charles DuBois once declared that the important thing is, "To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." This eloquently embodies my motivation to enroll in graduate school at this time. While I am currently in a career that offers much growth potential, I believe that it is more important to gain skills now that will not readily be learned on the job. MBA training will dramatically broaden my scope of business vision and I will be able to apply this new knowledge immediately. In return, my contribution will be to bring maturity, humor, determination and a passion for nonprofits to the Boston College community. Carroll School of Management will lend structured business acumen to the experience I have already gained, truly bringing renewed creativity to my nonprofit arts career.
Boston College (Carroll): Essay 2
QUESTION: Discuss the accomplishment of yours which required the most effort to achieve. What intermediary steps were necessary? How did you overcome challenges along the way? (1-2 pages)
During my adult life, I have tried to continually re-establish new goals every few years. These have grown from simply wishing to see the world to furthering my education, both personally and professionally. Attaining a patent by the age of 30, co-founding a start-up company by 35, and now pursuing an MBA are examples of such goals - each requiring substantial effort to achieve.
But one of my most recent goals was difficult to accomplish due to an unexpected lack of support from my family, which was very unique for me considering the closeness of my family in other matters.
Learning to fly had always been an interest of mine even before I briefly considered aeronautical engineering while in college: I always requested a window seat on commercial flights, and enjoyed small planes while traveling. So at the age of 33, I decided to pursue a private pilot's license.
Investigating flight schools, instructors, and costs were the first steps in my typical engineering analysis. The time commitment, both ground-school and in the air, would be substantial and would require cut-backs in other recreational activities, such as golf, softball, and skiing. Budgeting time between work and personal life would also be a challenge, since family visits with grandparents and a new niece were high priorities. My search led to a part-time flight instructor who was also an engineer and a flight-school with brand-new equipment and a need for students. The one initial obstacle that I did not foresee in my analysis was that of my family's lack of support.
Virtually my entire extended family lives in the [deleted] area: Parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - quite a nice crowd at holidays and birthdays. They have always been supportive, even during difficult times such as when I divorced. But learning to fly small planes was not something that they could appreciate or support: They questioned my safety, the costs, the benefits, and the reasons. Instead of sharing my eagerness and excitement, they only questioned and dampened it.
Dealing with the rigors of flight training, bumpy landings, and windy weather, all require fortitude of mind and body. Pushing personal limits of fear and mental acuity, while making reasoned, safe decisions can be learned, so that soft landings even in high winds can be accomplished. Soloing and a few cross-country solo trips were major milestones where hours of training and studying won out over apprehension and self-doubt, not to mention complicated weather.
But the issue of my family's support of the whole endeavor was the most difficult obstacle to overcome. Throughout life we tend to highly value family's opinions about our life choices. Most are reasonable and do not often conflict other than in some specific situations that can be reasoned through. But whole-hearted disagreement and concern are difficult to appease.
Being unable to discuss my progress and accomplishments with my family was the most difficult aspect of the learning process. Being able to share one's goals and experiences is a key part of any relationship and separating this from my relationship with family members was certainly a challenge I had not expected, and had much difficulty with.
Fortunately, I have a wide and diverse group of friends who were supportive and with whom I could share my experiences, personal achievements, and disappointments. Without these people who are close to me, I doubt that I would have reached my goal. But now taking friends up for short trips has become a well-earned point of pride and enjoyment for us all.
Within my family, I have been able to break down misconceptions and inform some of them of my recent license. A famous aviation author did not inform her mother about her license for eight years, so my goal is to improve on that timeline. It will surely be a slow process, but as with any difficult endeavor, the opportunity for continued learning and growth is an on-going benefit of the process, and one that I look forward to every day.
Could you please also send me some samples of essay at jxma6[在] yahoo.com. Many thanks in advance.
jxma
还有更多的samples吗？能不能也给俺发一份呢？dreamchaser618[在] yahoo.com 谢谢
p.s.请教各位高人：如果没有很多工作经验的，怎么写essay阿
ADCOM看中的是你工作的质量而不是数量。每一份工作都有其特殊的方面。好好思考自己的工作，在什么地方能够体现出自己的TEAMWORK， LEADERSHIP ，CROSSCULTURE COMMUNICATION SKILL等。把自己优秀的方面展现给ADCOM就可以了。
另外，在写ESSAY时，要对学校给你的几个题目进行分析，一定要注意：在每一篇ESSAY当中强调不同的品质时很重要的。不要在几篇ESSAY当中强调同一个问题，那样ADCOM会觉得很单调。
must750, could you please send me some essay samples.
thank you very much.
还有更多的samples吗？能不能也给俺发一份呢？dreamchaser618[在] yahoo.com 谢谢
p.s.请教各位高人：如果没有很多工作经验的，怎么写essay阿
那就要编一些了，反正你的目的很明确，是为了出去读书。能出去是第一位的
不过怎么说，很多国内申请者写的东西真的很差。不止是英语方面的，还有思路上面的问题。没有抓住学校所需要掌握的要点，而是一门子非要把自己过去的哪点东西全堆在上面
那就要编一些了，反正你的目的很明确，是为了出去读书。能出去是第一位的
Must 750, Can I get a copy of the essays?
Thank you!
I need the sample esssy too!
thank u! must750
must 750, can you send me one? Beiyan2002(A) hotmail.com
Thank you so much!
Ideally, you are right. But when the application essays are flooded with hypers and fakes, the adcom actually find it's quite hard to differentiate the true from the fake.
As far as I observe, most applicants will add some flavour to their concrete experiences, and even most American applicants do so or even more. But make sure that your experiences in writing makes sense.
It's true that the best way to convince is to convince with your heart, but many times, it's really hard to read your heart by reading your paper in a simply 5-10 minutes.
Still, what I am conveying is that don't get yourself confined by the so called moral responsibility. Do what you think is appropriate and necessary. Any all, the admission is important.
As far as the career path issue, I have to say, most of the MBA graduates will laugh at it as garbage because few advances their career as is in their essays.
Don't be too serious, take the application as game, but certainy you have to play the game with your heart, intelligence and devotion.
I can't agree on fabricating in your essays. As you may know, most good business schools started on conducting background check for 2004 entry class. Last year Wharton's background check is quite effective and filtered out many false claims (by the way, if discoverd this will put you on a forever blacklist, you will have absolutely no chance whatsoever on getting into any top 15 schools once you are on this list since they do share this information). I also want to point out that even after graduation, if somehow some one discovered that you made things up in your essays and reported it to school, you can still lose your degree and diploma. Several years ago some students could get away from lying in their essays, however, don't think that admission staffs are still so naive. Things changed a lot during the past two years. Last year two Wharton graduates lost their diploma three and four years after graduation since their potential employer conducted background check to them and found out that their record from school were not accurate.
Getting in a top business school does not necessarily mean that you have to be absolutely exceptional in your credential. Instead, showing your thought process in your essays benefit you more than a glorious resume. I got into Wharton with only about 2 years fulltime post graduation work history in a very small start up and an undergraduate degree from a third tier business school in the US. However, I wrote my own essays with truth and was interviewed by all the schools (totally 3) I applied, and admitted by two great schools. So do have faith in yourself, and save yourself the future problem by focusing on what experience is uniquely yours, instead of focusing on what others have and you don't.
I hope we Chinese can understand that we represent our great country once we are in business school. Sure, moral responsibility is not required for you to apply, however, somehow I do feel that not taking chances on something Americans loath the most (lying, insincere) provides me much freedom. Best luck on all your applications this year and hope to see a few of you here at Wharton in 2005!
实在抱歉没能及时回复几位朋友的请求. 这次我决定向雷锋学习一次,索性把password奉献出来.方便群众也省了麻烦.
http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/mbainsider/sample_essays.html
username:comrise
password:abc123
thank you must750.
totally agree with minghoo. I noticed that Haas also has carried out BG-checking since 04' and they will employ a third-part vender to do it this yr.
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