标题: 啊呀呀~还剩2天才开始看写作@.@大家帮忙改改~谢拉！ [打印本页] 作者: maggie520 时间: 2010-8-14 10:58 标题: 啊呀呀~还剩2天才开始看写作@.@大家帮忙改改~谢拉！ 马上要考试了，我才开始看写作，太久没写essay了。。词汇贫乏到不行了....大家帮我改改吧~紧张啊... Although most people wish to live long lives, attempting to significantly extend the average human life span would be a mistake. If achieved, this would place an enormous burden on resources, lowering the quality of life for everyone.
The issue at hand is whether people’s long life span would be a mistake in desiring. As the aspiration in everyone, we all want to live longer, thus technologies are innovated in order to make our life more colorful and make human life span as long as possible. Consequently, the result of our eager to live longer has been so crucial that it may negatively affect our life, which we have desired to be high quality.
To begin with, let’s think back to the previous centuries of the world. At that time, people did not have long life span as we do now, did not have medications highly developed, and did not have advanced technologies, but what they did have was the beautiful and balanced nature which had never been destroyed. Not like today’s world, people’s desire of long life span has led to the innovation of technologies in order to satisfy us. At first glance, this may sound very nice since “new” would always be “better”, and we do enjoy what the new technologies have brought to us. For instance, we can travel around the world with airplanes, transport to another place with vehicles, comfort ourselves with luxury homes, and please our stomachs with seafood.
But as a consequent, does our earth mother like this? Carpenters cut down trees for housing, petroleum companies dig oil from the underground, industries release harmful waste into the rivers and lakes, and so on. And what have we enjoyed from these? Air and water pollutions, acid rains, dust storms, water flood, earthquakes, global warming, iceberg melting, etc. Imagine yourself walking on the street with an air-conditioner on your back in order to counteract the unbearable hot weather. Do you really want to live in a world that you cannot predict when to suffer these disasters?
Additionally, suppose we do not have such pollutions resulting in global warming and water flood, and everything is peaceful. Now can we sure about our quality of life? As we live, necessities such as meat and water are for our daily intakes, wood and metals are for our housings. The increasing rate of needing these necessities has caused the lack of usable water, trees, and some other materials, however, which follows an enormous burden on resources.
To sum up, it is not hundred percent definitely that our long life span will result in a low quality of life, but people’s eager desire will somehow has negative effects on the quality of life. Therefore, significantly extend the average human life span would be a mistake. 作者: alanuonuo 时间: 2010-8-14 11:16
楼主词汇量好大哦～ 不过本人愚昧，看到最后才明白楼主的观点，这好像不是英文写作的风格吧？别骂我哦作者: maggie520 时间: 2010-8-14 11:27
楼主词汇量好大哦～ 不过本人愚昧，看到最后才明白楼主的观点，这好像不是英文写作的风格吧？别骂我哦
-- by 会员 alanuonuo (2010/8/14 11:16:58)
阿呀？！！！！不是英文写作风格...T-T 完了...我废了...有什么指点么？？作者: fly12404 时间: 2010-8-15 20:32
Not like today’s world, people’s desire of long life span.... 哈 這sc有問題!!! ----------------------- 我覺得樓主寫不錯 不過論點可以再更多點 一直圍繞在resources也不大好 ex. 生命雖然延長了 但器官可能還是依舊退化 老人過得更痛苦 只能躺在病床.. 可能我亂舉的論點不好
但就是給你個建議: )作者: maggie520 时间: 2010-8-15 21:06
Not like today’s world, people’s desire of long life span.... 哈 這sc有問題!!! ----------------------- 我覺得樓主寫不錯 不過論點可以再更多點 一直圍繞在resources也不大好 ex. 生命雖然延長了 但器官可能還是依舊退化 老人過得更痛苦 只能躺在病床.. 可能我亂舉的論點不好
