标题: PS 到底怎么写 2 - tone [打印本页] 作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-23 10:27 标题: PS 到底怎么写 2 - tone Okay...so hopefully most of you guys read my post on structure "PS 到底怎么写 - structure". Today I will talk about tone. Tomorrow I will talk about essay length and why it is essential that you stay within a reasonable range of the word limit.
So TONE...
From reading a lot of different PSs and essays. I have found that a lot of you try to be very emphatic and capture the reader's attention right away. (YES I know this is good...hold on let me finish). A lot of you also try to start with a line that is very..."inspirational" or... a "compelling" statement..such as.."My dream is to create change in order to benefit the world through my work".... or "My passion in XXX has shown me the meaning of life"....if this sounds like your PS...PLEASE KEEP READING.
Basically, this is not the correct tone to use!!
WHY? because this tone makes you seem pretentious and fake. It is almost as if you are trying too hard because you are trying to make up for your shortcomings and that you are really not good enough.
What should I do?
Mindset When you are writing, think about it as an autobiography. You need to let your story shine through without making it seem pretentious, which is exactly what this tone does to any document. YOUR ＳＴＯＲＹ ｓｈｏｕｌｄ ｂｅ ｇｏｏｄ ｅｎｏｕｇｈ． Be down to earth and relax. If you are thinking too hard, the writing comes across as nervous and unsure. Think about how you would speak to someone ｗｈｅｎ you are telling a story about yourself. Use this tone to write. Not only will your writing be more clear, it will show that you have confidence in yourself. Remember, the professors are just people. Yes they are more powerful than us, but they also want to be around relaxed, friendly and sincere people.
How do I capture their attention I mentioned earlier that some people try to be very emphatic. Starting with an interesting phrase is fine. However, there is a fine-line between shocking someone with your opening statement, and making them feel interested in you. The first line should also be informational. If you just include a random quote....or a compelling statement such as ....Economics is the cornerstone of society....you just wasted your first line.
This is actually one of the most difficult things to master in your document. I suggest 1) you come up with multiple possibilities and 2) and ask yourself...how does this line, independently, present me?
Ａ ｇｏｏｄ ｅｘａｍｐｌｅ ｏｆ ａｎ ｏｐｅｎｉｎｇ ｌｉｎｅ．．． ＂Unlike some applicants, I have not always wanted to study economics．Ｈowever, because I have explored different career alternatives, I am more certain and determined about my future.＂
２） Thｅ ｆｉｒｓｔ ｓｅｎｔｅｎｃｅ ｃａｐｔｕｒｅs ｔｈｅ ｒｅａｄｅｒ＇ｓ ａｔｔｅｎｔｉｏｎ ｒｉｇｈｔ ａｗａｙ． Ｉt makes them wonder...why are you saying this? you haven't wanted to always study economics but you are applying? why? By ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔｉｎｇ ａ ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒｉｎｔｕｉｔｉｖｅ ｓｔａｔｅｍｅｎｔ, you are presenting the reader with a puzzle, challenging them to solve it．
3) Right away, this candidate also explained how something that might seem outwardly negative, is really a positive...BEING ABLE TO DO THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT. EVERY RAIN CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING....MAKE SURE YOU EMPHASIZE THE SILVER LINING AS THIS OPENING LINE DID.
4) this line shows determination and certainty. Regardless of the applicant's past, the reader is convinced right way that the writer really is sure about wanting to study economics. Certainty is a big bonus for your application because adcom members want to make offers to students that will definitely accept.
Where can I use compelling statements.. Generally, after you have presented yourself and your abilities, you can close the essay with a more compelling statement about your future, your goals, your success, etc. The reasons is, by this point, hopefully your document has convinced the reader that you really have the ability to do something so compelling.
MOST IMPORTANT ********When do I use a thesaurus?
NEVER use a thesaurus during your first draft. NEVER. The reason is, from my experience, a lot of words are used incorrectly when you use a thesaurus because you do not actually know the nuances of the word unless you look in a dictionary. Even if you look in a dictionary, sometimes the chinese/english dictionaries are not 100% accurate. I've seen people try to use "seduce" in place of "convince"...which is very embarrassing, and at best...will be circulated as a joke around the admissions office. Using the thesaurus also creates the problem of sounding pretentious because your sentence structure are generally not complex enough to match the words. So there is incongruity in your writing, which just comes across as awkwardness.
Use the thesaurus after you have pretty much finalized the document. A few "elegant" word-changes adds a lot to the document. But do not overuse the thesaurus. Sometimes, changing a word here or there will also allow you to see new possibilities to phrase your sentences better. All I can say is...REVISE REVISE REVISE...each revision you do will make the essay better. Most great essays have been revised multiple times. Even I offer at least 2 rounds of revisions after the finalized version as part of my services.
Anyway, as always, hope this helps. Feel free to contact me at tinaxue@mit.edu with any questions.
作者: knight777 时间: 2009-10-23 16:31
nice~~~作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-25 01:46
thanks作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-25 01:53
So far I have 3 posts作者: crasherlee 时间: 2009-10-25 07:32
good one.
carry on, gal!
Thx.
作者: trum 时间: 2009-10-26 01:29
Great article and very insightful. Appreciate the effort.作者: tangyusue 时间: 2009-10-26 15:58
Thx so much~~~作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-27 15:08
no problem 作者: ray_anne 时间: 2009-10-27 21:37
thanks作者: hlp1222 时间: 2009-11-26 21:05
有这样的前辈真好 呵呵作者: 欲飞 时间: 2009-11-26 21:31
It's really so cool!!!! I like it! Thanks for LZ's post, and I just wanna recommend a webset for everyone that it will perhaps give you a big help: