I am a graduate student at Harvard University and I work at MIT's admissions office. I also offer a writing and editing service. Through my professional experience, I have come across some very common mistakes in PSs. However, reading the blogs and suggestion columns, I find very little information that is truly useful. The advice just seems conventional and vague. So, I decided to start a series of informational posts to help you guys. I will address one main topic everyday. Hopefully these blogs will help you.
What should I focus on in my PS
Your PS should include 5 essential elements:
1) Your motivation – what has inspired you to pursue the field. This could include background, research experiences, family influence, etc.
2) Professional/research background
Lots of people have problems in this area and don't know what to focus on.
I obviously cannot just make a list of all possible fields. However, as a good rule of thumb: If your future goal is to work in industry - focus on professional experience. If your goal is to work in research or academia - focus on research experience.
Explaining Research Experience:
Do not just say “new “ developments. Thinking about the following questions will help you more comprehensively describe your research.
1) How did your research change or impact the field - what was the situation before or after your contribution? Emphasize the significance.
If you only assisted research - how was your assistance important. What did you actually do? How did you contribute to the overall project? Although you only assisted in research, you still need to make sure that you explain the big picture of the research project and purpose. What was the goal of the research?
2) What problems did you solve and how
3) What was your research process? In this area, include technologies, approaches, systems used (example: Choice behavior, regression analysis, due diligence, game theory. Please note that “mathematical model is too vague.)..Do not forget to say HOW you used the above and why.
5) future work - in this area...you can include information about possible research for your future.
For professional experience - focus on contributions to the company and your job tasks. Also make sure you list your achievements, promotions, leadership, etc
3) Future goals, and how you will achieve them.(sometimes it is a good idea to split this into short and long term goals). Be specific in terms of how... This should be easy since you should already have a plan for your life. This can include your graduate studies, future jobs, etc
4) Why did you pick the school, and how you will contribute to it?
To answer this question, make sure you know the school. It is a good idea to use specific courses or programs offered by the school to emphasize your points. Student organizations and research focus can also be included. DO NOT say things like "the school's excellent reputation and faculty impresses me" - this is vague and useless. Anyone on the admissions committee reading it will know right away that you have no idea what you are talking about. However...you can talk about the placement program, an specific professor's research, specific labs, etc.
In terms of your contribution...sometimes it might help to think about the future global situation. For example, as Asia develops, your cultural background and information on Asian society will become very useful. I'm sure this would be very helpful to your classmates.
5) Any other information the school has asked you to provide.
An example for this question is Leadership.
When talking about leadership, it is best to use an actual example. However, if you do not have any leadership experience, you can use situations where you exhibited leadership qualities - such as determination, compassion, drive, communication, sacrifice, organization. Just make sure you are able to explain how these traits make you a good leader.
However, the most important pieces of advice I can give you are: 1) Make sure you come up with a comprehensive outline before you write. ORGANIZE your thoughts 2) Choose examples from your past VERY VERY carefully. DO NOT choose examples that include failure. This will only highlight your negatives. DO NOT include examples where you are presenting another company, organization, person, situation in a negative light. This will make you seem like you are complaining and difficult to work with. When speaking about another organization...be either positive or neutral. DO NOT speak negatively about your previous company.
If you have any specific questions...feel free to email me at tinaxue@mit.edu or tinaxue@fas.harvard.edu. While I do charge for actual writing and editing, I can take a quick look at your drafts and give you immediate feedback on the most obvious issues I see.
作者: liubin1987 时间: 2009-10-23 04:57
ha...ads...作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-23 05:00
actually, this is not an ad. If you all could master what I just talked about in my post...I would starve to death.作者: jbyupei 时间: 2009-10-23 09:37
kick ass!
作者: mrcharming 时间: 2009-10-23 09:52
I would say just by answering why this program(MSF/MSA etc), why now, why this school, why you and explaining your career goals, you get a complete PS. Of course, sometimes you may need to provide some other information the schools ask for, but what I listed above is enough for a general purpose PS.
Also I would like to remind everyone something which Tina did not mention. If you are applying a professional oriented program, please submit a maximum two pages PS. If you can put what I listed above into one page, that's even better. If you can't, put the things you want the AD COM to read the most into the first page. Many schools' AD COM receive a huge volume of application everyday, they often don't have the time and patience to read every single word in your PS. If you have a too long PS, you may run into a risk of AD COM reviewing just part of your essay. 作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-23 10:38 标题: response to MR.Charming actually
1) Like I said, I am not covering ALL the information in one post because I don't have the room or time to do it in one day.
2) every single professor on the admissions committees at MIT and Harvard read the PS, recommendation letters, and transcripts in detail. I have seen some of them go in and even highlight the PS and essays. And trust me when I say...these professors get A LOT of apps. They understand that they are affecting people's futures.
3) these are the 5 elements. I do not mean for people to structure their PS exactly according to 12345. Instead, they should structure it according to their story...but make sure to include these elements. And I would highly argue about "importance" because the structure and organization of the PS is very very important in terms of telling a convincing story. So if something is out of place...but important...it distracts from the entire PS. Please give me the time to write one at a time before judging. I am a full time graduate student at Harvard, a full time employee at MIT, and I do editing. I cannot spend hours making one informational post.
4) My last guideline as to...anything the school asks..such as leadership.. Some schools give out very specific PS requirements. YOU need to address all of the points asked for. If you do not...then it implies you cannot follow directions or that you are trying to hide an inadequacy. For example...to apply to Rochester's (Simon business school) MSF program...they ask you specifically for leadership. If you DO NOT write about leadership...your chances of getting in are slim to none.
5) When it comes to document length...the schools generally will tell you exactly how long it can be. So please do not give advice such as a 2 page max. That is not true. Some schools allow 2000 word essays, some allow 300. But anyway...as I said in another blog...this will come later.
6) The list of information that you gave...is not enough. I hope what you mean by general PS..you mean an outline where you will add your experiences and the requirements of the school. Do you realize that WHY you , WHY this school, etc...basically is what my outline is describing...However WHY YOU..is not going to help the readers of this blog very much. WHY YOU - includes experience, motivation, etc...However if I wrote WHY YOU - this post would be just as vague and useless as the other ones I have seen. I'm trying to be very very detailed and specific in providing a how-to guideline. I want the readers to know exactly what to do....not guess what WHY YOU should include. DO NOT be vague...ambiguity is the last thing anyone wants in their PS.
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/10/23 10:48:23编辑过]
作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-23 10:50
by the way...i just posted another page on TONE....and tomorrow I will post one on Length...how to cut down the length, and WHY it is essential to stay within a reasonable range of the word limit. 作者: 年华无声 时间: 2009-10-23 11:20
其实还是挺有用的~作者: qjqsdtc23 时间: 2009-10-23 14:20
Anyway, it really helps. Looking forward to your passage tomorrow.作者: libberzz 时间: 2009-10-23 15:48
及时雨呀！期待楼主更新~~
作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-23 22:40
thanks...i will be writing another one later today 作者: mhe2 时间: 2009-10-23 23:40
quick question, tina.
Some schools prohibit that we ask someone to edit (not give general advice) our essays. As an employee at MIT admissions office, do you think it's ok to ask people to edit our essays? And will you editing works violate the ethic codes? no offense, just curious....
作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-24 00:14
at MIT, we do not have this rule. I expect perfection in every essay that I receive. Yes I do give some leniency to foreign speakers, but the adcom members definitely will look at communication skills - because as a graduate student you NEED to be able to communicate with them effectively on research. I actually expect that any MIT applicant would want to get into the school so much that the least they can do is ask MULTIPLE people or PROFESSIONALS to edit and advise them on how to improve their documents. Therefore, as an MIT employee, I do not see an ethical issue with this in terms of the applications to MIT.
I actually have not come across any schools before that prohibit editing. Probably because...students applying to those schools do not come to me or use my services. However, I have a strong feeling that those schools are also mainly targeted at American students, as opposed to international students.
From a legal standpoint - I would advise you follow the rules they give. The reason is...by applying and submitting everything, you are also agreeing to abide by their rules and that everything you submit is true and honest. If your English skills are bad but you submit a fantastic essay, and after you are admitted...they realize that you lied - this is a problem.
However, personally, I really do not believe in this rule. As students, we improve by making mistakes, getting advice, and fixing mistakes. Even at Harvard, most of my professors require a first draft and final version of the papers we write so that we can learn how to improve each paper with their editing and comments. Even if we think the first draft is already perfect...they will still find ways for us to improve it. All I can say is...editing and revisions have ALWAYS helped me.
Is it ethical...I don't feel comfortable answering this question because it is so subjective. I know what I would do; but I have my own set of influences and standards. I do not want to influence someone else in their decision on an ethical dilemma like this because either way...there are reasons for and against. This is a decision you need to make for yourself.
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/10/24 0:18:32编辑过]
作者: mhe2 时间: 2009-10-24 00:46
以下是引用tinaxueMIT在2009/10/24 0:14:00的发言： at MIT, we do not have this rule. I expect perfection in every essay that I receive. Yes I do give some leniency to foreign speakers, but the adcom members definitely will look at communication skills - because as a graduate student you NEED to be able to communicate with them effectively on research. I actually expect that any MIT applicant would want to get into the school so much that the least they can do is ask MULTIPLE people or PROFESSIONALS to edit and advise them on how to improve their documents. Therefore, as an MIT employee, I do not see an ethical issue with this in terms of the applications to MIT.
I actually have not come across any schools before that prohibit editing. Probably because...students applying to those schools do not come to me or use my services. However, I have a strong feeling that those schools are also mainly targeted at American students, as opposed to international students.
From a legal standpoint - I would advise you follow the rules they give. The reason is...by applying and submitting everything, you are also agreeing to abide by their rules and that everything you submit is true and honest. If your English skills are bad but you submit a fantastic essay, and after you are admitted...they realize that you lied - this is a problem.
However, personally, I really do not believe in this rule. As students, we improve by making mistakes, getting advice, and fixing mistakes. Even at Harvard, most of my professors require a first draft and final version of the papers we write so that we can learn how to improve each paper with their editing and comments. Even if we think the first draft is already perfect...they will still find ways for us to improve it. All I can say is...editing and revisions have ALWAYS helped me.
Is it ethical...I don't feel comfortable answering this question because it is so subjective. I know what I would do; but I have my own set of influences and standards. I do not want to influence someone else in their decision on an ethical dilemma like this because either way...there are reasons for and against. This is a decision you need to make for yourself.
thank you for your answers and advice.
ps. for those schools who prohibit editing, Yale is an example, if my memory is correct. Will you provide editing service to those who apply to MIT?
作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-24 01:09
Yale...I see...That was not one of the schools I applied to because I was scared of the rumored "old money" reputation..so I did not know. Come to think of it, I have not helped anyone apply to Yale before. This is probably why.
yes I will provide editing services to those who apply to MIT. The reason is...I'm not helping you make up a fake story. I'm just helping you present yourself accurately. Everything in your document will still be true. 作者: mhe2 时间: 2009-10-24 16:07
以下是引用tinaxueMIT在2009/10/24 1:09:00的发言： Yale...I see...That was not one of the schools I applied to because I was scared of the rumored "old money" reputation..so I did not know. Come to think of it, I have not helped anyone apply to Yale before. This is probably why.
yes I will provide editing services to those who apply to MIT. The reason is...I'm not helping you make up a fake story. I'm just helping you present yourself accurately. Everything in your document will still be true.
thank you! good luck with your business~!
作者: 年华无声 时间: 2009-10-24 19:35
Hey, I have a question.
Are there any differences between "statement of purpose" and "personal statement"?
Thank you~
作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-25 01:51
no difference...but personal statement is very different from an essay!! 作者: mhe2 时间: 2009-10-25 12:41
以下是引用tinaxueMIT在2009/10/25 1:51:00的发言： no difference...but personal statement is very different from an essay!!
for example?
作者: tinaxueMIT 时间: 2009-10-25 13:46
oh...sorry...well PSes are more general...and ESSAY addresses only one question and should therefore be more focused on answering the questions...This year one essay questions was ..If you had one day to live, what would you do....You cannot try to put the 5 elements in. Instead...show your values and what is really important to you. 作者: lilithu 时间: 2009-10-25 15:08
声明我绝对不是托~ 我是清华大学的博士生，我要给大家强烈的推荐tina
我是tina曾经的顾客，去年底我让她帮我修改了一篇学术paper，非常专业非常靠谱。这篇paper今年在IEEE Transaction on ITS上发表了，这个杂志是我这个领域内的top 1，每年收录60篇。
跟外面的一些职业机构相比，tina的收费也算低的了。
tina人也很好，所以我们现在是很好的朋友，我才上来帮她捧捧场。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/10/25 15:16:28编辑过]
作者: mhe2 时间: 2009-10-25 16:41
以下是引用tinaxueMIT在2009/10/25 13:46:00的发言： oh...sorry...well PSes are more general...and ESSAY addresses only one question and should therefore be more focused on answering the questions...This year one essay questions was ..If you had one day to live, what would you do....You cannot try to put the 5 elements in. Instead...show your values and what is really important to you.
