还有几天就考了,刚开始看AI,发现比AA难多了。基本上自己就能写成这样了,大概能拿个几分?
“A company’s long-term success is primarily dependent on the job satisfaction and the job security felt by the company’s employees.”
What does a company's long-term success primarily depend on? Frankly, to some extend, I agree that job satisfaction plays an important part. However, the author unnecessarily extends this broad assertion to an irreversible extreme while neglecting some other crucial factors. All in all, my point of agreement and contention with the author involves the case-by-case analysis as discussed below.
I agree that business success is more likely if employees are satisfied with the job. Employees who dislike their job environment may have negative attitude thus affect their work performance. Some negative behavior includes: be late for work, take excessive medical leave, surf internet while working... all these would lead to low productivity. We can say that job satisfaction is important. nevertheless, to achieve a company's long-term success, job satisfaction is not the only concern, some other factors are crucial as well, internal factors such as business strategy and strategy framework; external factors such as rival competition, marketing demand and economic environment. Take one case as example, A lot of companies were caught in Sub-prime Crisis this year, no matter what kind job satisfaction they had offered to their employees, they close down now due to wrong strategy ever made.
While job satisfaction clearly boosts employee morale and contributes to the overall success of a company, the same idea can't be applied to job security although employees worried about job security may affect their job performance, too much confidence in the security make foster complacency, cause the employees less creative and less aggressive. Crisis sense drives employees work harder. what's more, employees do not take job security as a key concern now days when serving a job.
One swallow does not make a summer. Taking the above considerations into account, I feel quite comfortable to arrive at the conclusion that job satisfaction is one crucial factor to achieve a company's long-term success, but not all. At the same time, job security is clearly less important, and even unimportant in some cases.
第三段能再长些就好了
感觉写的还是不错
用词再丰富一点,描述在具体一些
我觉得观点可以再提炼一下。以我的理解,第2段是想说:higher employee morale is only one of the key factors to the company's long term success. 第3段是想说: job security may erode the competitiveness of the company in the long run.我觉得先明确地提出观点,然后再举例验证会比较好。
第3段还需要多些例子。最后那句"what's more, employees do not take job security as a key concern now days when serving a job"可以不要。这句话跟上面说的没什么关系。
最后就是要注意一下syntax. e.g. "the author unnecessarily extends this broad assertion to an irreversible extreme while neglecting some other crucial factors"-不懂, "Crisis sense drives employees work harder"-not a standard English expression, although I know what u r trying to say, "A lot of companies were caught in Sub-prime Crisis this year, no matter what kind job satisfaction they had offered to their employees, they close down now due to wrong strategy ever mad"-病句,2个完整句子间少了连接词。
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