36. “Businesses and other organizations have overemphasized the importance of working as a team. Clearly, in any human group, it is the strong individual, the person with the most commitment and energy, who gets things done.”
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
The issues of whether the importance of working as a team has been overemphasized by businesses and other organizations and whether the strong individual plays a more important role are complex and controversial. Different people hold different views due to their respective angles. Some people view that the person, with the most commitment and energy always gets things done, is the crucial factor to an organization. But I regard the teamwork is far more important. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide evidence favoring this point.
To begin with, I like to say, an organization is always divided into many different divisions and each has a specific goal. These divisions affected mutually and thus make each an essential element of the whole program to achieve the established goals. It’s undeniable that individuals in each division finally carry out the missions, but in fact, the achievements accomplished by individuals are parts of the entire program. Only by making every part together, we could say, the job is done. For example, if one person likes to open a company, he can not make his company succeed on himself because he can not deal with everything. So, he has to recruit people to run marketing, public relations and administrations. He can distribute objections to those divisions and organize the different functions of each division. Therefore, to say that it’s the person with most commitment and energy who gets things done is casually thoughtless.
36. “Businesses and other organizations have overemphasized the importance of working as a team. Clearly, in any human group, it is the strong individual, the person with the most commitment and energy, who gets things done.”
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
The issues of whether the importance of working as a team has been overemphasized by businesses and other organizations and whether the strong individual plays a more important role are complex and controversial. Different people hold different views due to their respective angles. Some people view that the person, with the most commitment and energy always gets things done, is the crucial factor to an organization.（错误的语法结构，双谓语） But I regard the teamwork is far more important. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide evidence favoring this point.
To begin with, I like to say, an organization is always divided into many different divisions and each has a specific goal. These divisions affected mutually and thus make each an essential element of the whole program to achieve the established goals.（表意不清楚） It’s undeniable that individuals in each division finally carry out the missions, but in fact, the achievements accomplished by individuals are parts of the entire program. Only by making every part together, we could say, the job is done. For example, if one person likes to open（太不正式了/is planning to run/ is starting） a company, he can not make his company succeed on himself because he can not deal with everything. So, he has to recruit people to run marketing, public relations and administrations. He can distribute objections to those divisions and organize the different functions of each division. Therefore, to say that it’s the person with most commitment and energy who gets things done is casually thoughtless.
In addition, no one is experienced in every division in an organization. If a person is arranged in a division that he is not good at, how can he make(add) values to the organization? The efficiency and productivity of an organization depend on how to arrange the human resources, how to combine them as an organic integrity, and how to make them creative and contributable. Hence, the organization can make several teams with people who have experiences in particular fields and make the opportunities for those people to show their merits. By this way, people’s work ability will present in a healthy and positive way. But what if the efficiency and productivity of an organization only depend on an individual with commitment and energy? Assume there is only one person within a company who is graduated from famous school and is very talented. To run the company functionally, he has to set up project strategy, meet potential client, make budget with margins, get necessary official licenses, fax proposal to clients, copy agreement for file, and so on. If he insists on doing the above-mentioned things by himself, he will surely make things disordered which makes the company less efficiency and productivity. To hire two or more people to work for him, he will be easily control the company and focus on the important issues about the company’s running.
Admittedly, there is no denying that individuals are very important to an organization. However, this fact alone does not constitute a sufficient support to simplify the importance of teamwork.
To conclude, I advocate that we should emphasize the importance of working as a team because within a team, everyone’s energy can be brought together and is made as a whole which will strength the company’s possibility to make an even more great achievement. Due to the reasons I mentioned in this article, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we may safely arrive at the conclusion I support.
里面有一些不清晰表达，但这不是最重要的。你最大的问题在于段落内部的论证不是紧密地，而且你的两个论证段似乎讲的是一件事情？
先把思路整理好
用汉语去锻炼一套严密的逻辑思维
| 欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/) | Powered by Discuz! X3.3 |