New Rule: You know you've lost your presidential mojo when even the kindergartners are thinking, "What a dipshit." President See-And-Say's visit to this classroom revealed at least one of the kids was hoping for someone a little more substantial–like Barney The Dinosaur. What really hurt was when she raised her hand and said, "If this is what higher education gets you, please leave my black a$$ behind."
New Rule: Iran and Tom Cruise must swap hostages. Those 15 British sailors for Katie Holmes and her space baby. It's a Shiite-Scientologist match made in heaven. The Iranians get something they've always wanted, the chick from "Dawson's Creek," and Tom gets something he's always wanted: 15 British sailors.
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