牛人们来赐教啊 - ChaseDream

牛人们帮我看看,这种是不是比写1.2.3...那种老文章套路要好一些??

What are some of the experiences that have shaped you outlook and the way you live now ?

I will never forget about the first psychology class I took three years ago. It is about the relationship among experiences, personality and the wey one lives. The class was so impressive that for years I still exporing the content of it. Now I get the conclusion: for a person, the personal experiences have influence on almost every aspects of him. And only with those happy or sad ones can he get the real reflection of himself. So just like everyone else, I can not deny that there are several unforgettable experiences built up my personality and my life style.

In my culture, boys always have privilege over girls. For example, once I and my Mom were hiking on the moutain Tai. There were several others who hiking with us, among them was a boy at the same age of me. All of them praise at the boy and gave him a hand on the way to the top, but nobody seemed to encourage a girl like me. They thought I was only a girl, and a girl could be ignored while a boy could never be. But at last it was me who achieved the top first for I always knew girls should pay more when they want to win. When I was still a child, I was taught to be a ruled girl: well-behavioured, neat, deligent and gentle. I held the beliefe that only when I try best can I get things that are easy for boys to achieve. After years of hardwork: taking numerous competitions, spengding endless hours studying, and dealing with assort persons. I finally proved that girls could be the winner, and all these experiences made me stronger and more mature than before.

On my way of life, the cultural conservative surely builds me up. But I can not deny another turning point : the Boston Model United Nations . I took part in it a year ago ,it was the first time I participated in an international conference and went abord with a group of delegates also it was the first time I got the position to be the headelegate represent a country. Before the conference, I and my teamates got a mape of Boston then had several meetings to decide the routine and our budgent. As the team leader, I took many more meetings and always should have a try myself without anyone's help before my teamates. Communicating with advisors , hotel managers and other headelegates add to my skill of social communication; haveing various meetings to find a way to solve problems add to my leadership and problem-solving skills; living in foreing country all by my self add to my skill to live independently . Though it was hard time : I had too much to deal with and too much to concern about. I never hesitate to say it was the most wonderful event in my life. I achieved friendship and leadership through the conference , I had a pre-view of social life beyond the campus, and I will not be afraid the next time when I handleing problems outside my homeland. This meaningful experience absolutely had great influence on my life, also gave me a clear image of myself. With this clear image I found out my motivations and expectations, with this I cultivated my living skills and with this I shaped myself.

There are still a lot in my life have the impact on me, those experiences taught me different kinds of attitudes, motivations and expectations. And what's more they made me a stronger person with qualities of my own style.

我指的是老作文模式推崇那种广泛例子，但是OG上又比较喜欢个人经历多的那种。。。。

以下是引用SHERRYTSING在2006-12-10 17:12:00的发言：

我指的是老作文模式推崇那种广泛例子，但是OG上又比较喜欢个人经历多的那种。。。。

哈。偶理解有误。不好意思。恩，广泛例子过于套路了。个人经历会使文章更具说服力。但如果，把老套路的和自己的经历相结合，折中一下会不会更好一些？这样使两面都可以兼顾？

我觉得你的结构和你的语法错误是你的弱点，，这篇文章我认为会得一个FAIR或是再低一点（2.5-3.5）左右！

但是2.5-3.5好象很少唉~(我上次还是考了27的,难道是靠运气啊~怎么办哦)