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标题: [原创]AWA6分模版－新鲜出炉 [打印本页]

作者: dreambox 时间: 2003-10-10 15:04
标题: [原创]AWA6分模版－新鲜出炉
AWA6分模版

今天刚收到ETS寄过来的成绩，看到6分的AWA，真是太高兴了。还一直以为是否自己的模版痕迹太露，看来ETS的水平很菜。先谈一下我对ETS的作文评分理解。在网上看到过，一个作文打分有两道关：第一个是E-Rater，是ETS自己特臭美搞出来的一个计算机的评分工具，主要是查拼写、语法还有一些关键词。关键词就是例如：furthermore, thus, in conclusion, based on the assertion that ，之类的承前启后的转接词，还有就是写Argue里面的逻辑错误的关键词，如 insufficient sample fallacy, “after this and therefore because of this” fallacy。E-rater这个傻东西肯定好打发。接下来可就是人来看了。不过，也不用害怕，米国的人很贵，所以ETS也就只能找一些学校里的TA来看。TA通常就是研究生给本课生做助教的人。他们也不愿意看啊，所以也就是一目十行的过，看网上做过这活的哥们说，也就是两分钟一个人。所以，呵呵，模版功效无比。我的情况是由于工作原因，每天都要写一堆英文的邮件，以为自己没有问题，去年没有怎么在意模版，结果就是我去年的AWA只有可怜的4分，percentile只有42％，今年是6，对应的是97％，所以觉得可以来帮助一下曾经和我一样痛苦的人。首先，感谢我的太太。因为我的模版是她编的，我提前10天开始看作文。总共写过三个issue, 三个argue。Issue的题目倒是全部看了一遍，argue看了十个就没时间了，就索性不看了。我觉得我的主要发现是在argue上，我的argue模版的第二段，当然是每一个argue题目都适用。关键是第三段，也就是指出具体的逻辑错误，我以为无论是那一种逻辑错误，都可“以不变应万变”的套路去应对。自己感觉，写作文的重点就是不要觉得车轱辘话多，翻过来，覆过去，结果就400字以上了。呵呵，现在写申请的essay，可是没有模版可以套了。闲话一堆，下面是我的模版。其实也就是我自己练习写的一篇issue, 一篇argue，去掉具体内容，剩下的废话就是模版。呵呵，要知道，光是每个模版就有差不多300字，那么写上400字是轻而易举的了。

Issue：
The rise of multinational corporations is leading to global homogeneity*. Because people everywhere are beginning to want the same products and services, regional differences are rapidly disappearing.”

* homogeneity: sameness, similarity

Whether the rise of multinational corporations is leading to global homogeneity is a broadly debated topic that attracted many attentions. While it is true that in some circumstances that because people everywhere are beginning to want the same products and services, regional differences are rapidly disappearing, in other instances, however, the argument may not be valid. Therefore, as far as I am concerned, I agree that the rise of multinational corporations is not leading to global homogeneity.

First of all, regional differences are reflected more by the different culture, different building style and history more by the same products and services. The example can be found in the case that when one drinks Coke at the street corner of Roma and Beijing, he can easily distinguish the difference between Beijing and Roma. Under this circumstance, it is obvious that the rise of multinational corporations will not diminish the regional difference.

In addition, while multinational corporations enter different regions, the corporations usually adjust their products to meet the taste of the local people. The reason is not far to see from the example of that the languages of Windows, an operation system produced by Microsoft, vary from country to country. To illustrate, we may consider that Microsoft produced different Windows to meet the distinct requirement of each region. Thus, the rise of multinational corporations is not leading to global homogeneity.

Finally, during the multinational corporation enter the global market, these corporations not only bring the products and services to the regions, but also introduce the regional differences to the world. For example, one can feel the culture difference of Germany and Japanese by their different car models. Some might argue that the more and more similar posters are hanging on the street in the different regions. However, this argument alone can hardly support the conclusion that the rise of multinational corporations is leading to global homogeneity. In fact, these cases are rare and therefore are too weak to make this conclusion. When the advantages and disadvantages are carefully examined, the most striking conclusion is that the rise of multinational corporations is not leading to global homogeneity.

In conclusion, it is likely that the rise of multinational corporations is leading to global homogeneity in little extent. However, considering the above presented reasons, we may safely to draw the conclusion that the rise of multinational corporations is not leading to global homogeneity

Argue:
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”

The author in this argument is trying to establish that Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. This conclusion is based on the assertion that Apogee Company’s more profit in the past years was simply caused by operating in one location. To support this conclusion, the author reasons that such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs. In addition, he assumes that centralization would help the company maintain better supervision of all employees. Closely examining the author’s logic and reasoning, we find that neither of these reasons provides sufficient support for the conclusion and this argument suffers two serious logical flaws.

First of all, this argument relies on a groundless assumption that the reason why Apogee Company is less profitable than before is because it was operated in multiple locations.
However, no evidence stated in the report supports this crucial assumption. There are many other factors that could have caused or contributed to the result that the Apogee Company is less profitable. It is possible that the competitors of Apogee Company are stronger than past; it is also possible that the slowdown of the overall economical environment have caused the less profitability on today than past. Any of these scenarios, if true, would show that Apogee Company’s poor financial performance is not due to the multi- location operation. Therefore, without ruling out other factors or presenting stronger evidence, the author cannot conclusively assert that Apogee should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location,

Second, the author commits the “after this and therefore because of this” fallacy where the author assumes that because the poor financial performance occurred after the Apogee Company conducted its operation from more than one location, the multi-location operation was responsible for the poor financial performance. The statistical relationship between the poor financial performance and multi-location operation can not necessarily establish the causality between Apogee Company’s poor financial performance and its multi location operation. In fact, the author obviously ignored the possibility of other alternative factors such as the price increase of raw materials, or the extra expense for the construction of new factory, which may contribute to the Apogee Company’s poor financial performance. It may be only a coincidence that the poor financial performance happened after Apogee Company moved from one location operation to multi-location operation. Unless the author can rule out other factors relevant to the relation between poor financial performance and multi- location operation, this assumption is in question and can not be accepted.

In conclusion, this argument is ineffective because the author commits the above mentioned logical mistakes. The author could strengthen the conclusion that Apogee Company should close its field offices and conducts all its operation in single location by demonstrating that the poor financial performance was a result of multi-location operation.

祝你好运了！别紧张，考试是一件快乐的事情。

作者: anchoret 时间: 2003-10-10 16:36
Great!

作者: valarie 时间: 2003-10-10 22:54
Thanks, Dreambox.

The process to top B-school is such a pain on the back but sometime when you finally achieved your goal, the pain turns out to be worthwhile.

Your template will help a lot people who was once in the dark of AWA.

Thank you!

作者: pucca 时间: 2003-10-10 23:16
perfect work.
thanks.

作者: 小提琴 时间: 2003-10-12 11:16
谢谢。只可惜至今为止我还没有体会到考试的快乐

作者: dullpen 时间: 2003-10-13 00:06
谢谢分享！

作者: byerain 时间: 2003-10-13 11:19
标题: 9/19，一战，济南，烦请各位NN指点迷津！-->happyfish0517转移
very thanks. you did a good job for us....

作者: njsjfr 时间: 2003-10-13 17:24
Great!

作者: EmperorNY 时间: 2003-10-13 18:29
多謝分享囉！

作者: linxch2003 时间: 2003-10-13 18:29
Well done! thanx!

作者: dreambox 时间: 2003-10-13 19:06
So happy to get your recognition. One tip to remember the templete is that not to recite it but to write it down. Below is my summary of typical logical errors quoted from 800score.

Circular reasoning: 用一个未经证实的结论证明另一个结论
The biased-sample fallacy: sample 没有代表性 , 即sample 不是准确的人群。如调查学生是否在银行开户，结果样本是公司职员
The insufficient sample fallacy: 样本不足
Ad hominen: 人身攻击
The fallacy of faulty analogy: 错误类比，如两人都是作文好，其中一人数学也好，结果推断另一人数学也一定好
Straw man: 用曲解对手的观点的手法攻击对手，即把对手说成另一个人进行攻击
The “after this, therefore because of this” fallacy: A 是B 的原因，因为A 发生在b 之前
The “either Or” thinking: 非黑即白论断
The “all things are equal” fallancy: 以前发生的事以后还会发生，（你自己在看看）
The fallacy of equivocation : 一个有不同含义的词在文中多次使用，产生歧义
Non sequitur: 如“the house is white, therefore it must be big”.
Argumentum Ad populum : 多数人赞成的就对
Irrational appeals: 如简单的相信权威，相信感情，相信common sense.
Sweeping generalization: (好像和“all things are equal”) 差不多

作者: mydreamga 时间: 2003-10-13 19:24
Congratulations and appreciate so much!

作者: m51175 时间: 2003-10-13 22:04
good job

作者: sandralouisa 时间: 2003-10-14 03:12
great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thxxxxx

作者: sbbi 时间: 2003-10-14 03:36
你太太好厉害!

作者: Rayzc 时间: 2003-10-14 09:33
Thanks! folks

作者: future 时间: 2003-10-16 11:38
3ks

作者: likui 时间: 2003-10-16 15:24
Good!

作者: dukesongyi 时间: 2003-10-16 21:38
Great!!!

作者: arun 时间: 2003-10-16 22:05
thanks

作者: marszhang 时间: 2003-10-17 09:08
great job!

作者: miejue 时间: 2003-10-17 23:31
so nice. I have apply this framework in my review of AWA and found it useful. Thanks a lot!

作者: llddmmtt 时间: 2003-10-19 08:54
Good luck to every Goer.

作者: nina23 时间: 2003-10-20 08:58
快哭了，感动的

作者: Mchao_l 时间: 2003-10-20 22:45
狂谢不已

作者: yakinlu 时间: 2003-10-25 11:33
多谢分享！
提前10天看作文就拿了6分，基本功很扎实！

作者: hodgechen 时间: 2003-10-25 12:56
nn

作者: lisashaw 时间: 2003-10-25 15:12
谢谢牛牛！

痛并快乐着^_^

作者: nchstar 时间: 2003-11-5 00:45
thanks!!
I like to get the topics in Chinese since I still can only get more information and faster feelings through Chinese.

作者: nchstar 时间: 2003-11-5 00:46
I'll practise with your guide. Thanks.

作者: thornbirdcfa 时间: 2003-11-20 08:44

great job.I'll try myself.wish me luck.

作者: vrylwj 时间: 2003-11-20 11:30
有了你的魔板, 考试是一件快乐的事情。

作者: mymeteor 时间: 2003-12-12 10:25
太谢谢了,受益不浅!

作者: iris_cui 时间: 2003-12-14 15:43
it is very helpful !!!! thank you so much!

作者: Snazzy 时间: 2003-12-16 09:06
Many thanks to you guys. Now i can nourish my templates more. Special thanks to the one who gave a list of fallacies. They used to be the pain on my back. Now i should be ok. 雷锋，你们全市雷锋！！！

作者: 幸运儿 时间: 2004-3-16 23:56
谢谢！

作者: weiyu 时间: 2004-4-3 20:27
多谢分享

作者: ponny 时间: 2004-6-8 16:37

请教一下：Second, the author commits the “after this and therefore because of this” fallacy where the author assumes that because the poor financial performance occurred after the Apogee Company conducted its operation from more than one location, the multi-location operation was responsible for the poor financial performance.

红色部分是题目中没有直接给出的啊！这样子会不会有点冒险？

作者: Leo0123 时间: 2004-6-14 20:54
thanks so much, i am just as the writer, writing is so hard for me to prepare, but i get the faith here. thanks your and others good article. Good luck.

作者: fbfamous 时间: 2004-12-8 11:16

终于找到个不太重复的摸班

汗！！！！！！

作者: zhaoshujuanw 时间: 2005-1-13 01:19

thanks 1good job