9. The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine.
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”
第一次写，还准备写2篇，就上考场了；我只能想到2个攻击点，字数就到了446，没时间再写第3个攻击点，不知道我这样拼凑的文章（模版就有280个字），能否拿到4.5分。请大家指点指点
第一次写，还准备写2篇，就上考场了；我只能想到2个攻击点，字数就到了446，没时间再写第3个攻击点，不知道我这样拼凑的文章（模版就有280个字），能否拿到4.5分。请大家指点指点
In the argument, the author reaches the conclusion that department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. To support his conclusion, the author points out that the number of middle-aged people who have higher percent of retail expenditure than younger consumers will increase dramatically within the next decade. Meanwhile, an additional reason given in support of this conclusion is that stores can increase sales by replacing some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer. At first glance, the author's argument appears to be somewhat convincing, while a close examination will reveal how groundless it is. This argument is problematic for the following reasons.
In the first place, the author falsely rests on gratuitous assumption that increase in the number of middle-aged can lead to increase in sales of stores. However, the author provides no evidence to support this assumption. In fact, this is not necessarily the case. For example, it is likely that total number of the middle-aged is smaller than that of the young within the next decade. It is also likely that the amount of expenditures of the middle-aged is fewer than that of young consumers. Any of these scenarios, if true, would show that the total purchasing power of the middle-aged is likely to be lower than that of the young consumer. Unless all these possible explanations have been considered and ruled out, it is premature to conclude that increase only in the number of the middle-aged can lead to increase in sales of stores.
In the second place, the author assumes that products for the younger and products for the middle-aged are mutually exclusively alternatives and there is no room for a middle ground. However, the author provides no reason for imposing an Either-Or choice. Common sense tells us that adjusting products for the younger and products for the middle-aged might produce better results. For example, increase in turnover frequency and universal products for both younger and middle-aged can also increase retail sales. Without take these into account and without ruling out these alternatives, the author oversimplifies the solution and can not persuade me to accept his claim.
In conclusion, the author fails to substantiate his claim because he commits the above mentioned logical mistakes and fails to consider the whole situation comprehensively. To strengthen his conclusion, the author must convince us that increase only in the number of middle-aged can indeed lead to higher purchasing power to increase in sales of stores. Finally, to better assess the argument, we need additional detailed information about alternatives other than replacing products for the younger with products for the middle-aged.
求求大家了，给点意见啊！我作文底子太差了，只能寄希望于模版来凑字数了，谢谢大家指点啊！！
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