ChaseDream

标题: (AI11)OG2006－Issue第11篇，欢迎拍砖。 [打印本页]

作者: 12345678lj 时间: 2006-3-31 17:36
标题: (AI11)OG2006－Issue第11篇，欢迎拍砖。

我在半小时之内写完，在此之后略作修改，请各位理解。蓝色部分为拼写错误，随后更改的。

在结构、举例、用词等方面还请大家多指教。

字数：377

Which is more important between someone's achieves and his or her personal faults? According to the statement above, the author mentioned that the achievements are more important than any of this person's personal faults are
. In my opinion, I agree with the author's point of view because of the following reasons.

In the first place, the influence of one's achievements is greater than the influence of his or her faults. For instance, Winston Churchill, the British Prime Minister of World War II, was famous for his political achievements that leading the UK to fight against the Germany. However, he smokes all his life and when he was young, he took drugs. That sounds improper but it is the truth. Now what is the influence of his achievements and personal faults? His achievements are apparent because UK will not still exist in the world without him in the cruel World War II, and all the citizens of the Great Britain should thank for him. What about his faults? That probably influenced a few people such as his family, his classmate, his colleague, and, of course, himself. Which is more important? Obviously, the influence of his achievements is more important. There, people's achievements are more important than their personal faults.

In the second place, focusing on one's achievements but not faults will greatly stimulate the production of more achievements in every field. Most pop singers have certain personal faults especially on drugs, such as Michael Jackson. If we just focus on his personal faults about drug, perhaps there will not be another Michael Jackson in the future because having faults are so hard to live in the world. Contrarily, if we focus on his achievements in music, the whole environment will be more relaxed and such an environment will surely stimulate more and more Michael Jackson not only in pop music but also in other fields like arts, science, politics, business, etc.

In conclusion, I agree with the author's opinion that the achievements of someone is more important than his or her personal faults because the influence of some people's achievements are more important than their personal faults, and focusing on someone's achievements rather than his or her personal faults will greatly stimulate the production of more great achievements.

作者: gailmin 时间: 2006-4-1 16:46

我觉得总体结构不错，不过字数好像稍微少了一点你觉得呢？

作者: 12345678lj 时间: 2006-4-3 11:35
也是，主要是打字和构思速度不是很快（虽然我盲打速度快，但那是照着内容直接打，练的是指法，不是构思。到了作文上就不一样了，一切都得自己想，毕竟慢些。还得多练。

作者: gailmin 时间: 2006-4-3 22:54

en 我也总是不能在半小时内上400

还要多练习啊不过时间不多了，真着急啊！

欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/)