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标题: AAA007我的第一篇AA,再次献丑,请不吝赐教!<-HAPPY更改标题见谅!请标注三位数字题号方便后人搜索,多谢合作! [打印本页]

作者: freefishly    时间: 2005-10-21 08:56
标题: AAA007我的第一篇AA,再次献丑,请不吝赐教!<-HAPPY更改标题见谅!请标注三位数字题号方便后人搜索,多谢合作!

In this argument, the author recommends that switching to PDQ pizza in the cafeteria will improve satisfaction and increase profits. To substantiate this claim, the  author provide the evidence that PDQ pizza was twice voted the "best pizza" in the neighboring town's on-line surveys. In addition, he point out that the current sales of PDQ branch in thier town have slightly more than their cafeteria. This argument is unconvincing for several reasons.


In the first place, the argument commits a fallacy named flase analogy. The author assumes that customers' preference in thier town is analogous to that in the neighboring town. Since the argument does not show that the two towns' customers have identical natures, this assumption is unwarranted. Common sense tell us,  there is nothing has completely same characters between any  two items in real life. The customers in neighboring town must be somehow different from those in author's town. They might favor pizza as their best food, although people elsewhere never like this.  Therefore, the author should render sufficient evidence to justify this assumption,


In the second place,there is probable problem of biasness in the survey. The author cites the results of on-line survey to  support his conclusion.These surveys,in generally, could not be representative of all potential customers who will come to the cafeteria. Maybe, the repondents of these surveys are teenagers while potential customers are adults. Even if these surveys comprised adults, this group might prefer cooking by themselves to have dinner outside. Consequently, This evidence is insufficient to lend the believable recommendation.


As it stands, the author's argument is not compelling. To strengthen the claim that switching to PDQ pizza will improve satisfaction and profits in their cafeteria, the author would have to demonstrate convincing evidence that customers in his town will have the same choice as customers in thier neighboring town  toward the PDQ pizza. Besidea, the author must present concrete evidence, especially the information concerning about survey's validity to rule out the abovementioned possibility that would undermine the author's claim.


我在开头段找了两个理由,但是下面只是针对第一条来驳斥,不知道这样写可不可以?而且写完后发现两条理由归根结底都是说他证据不充分。感觉写得好烂,字数都不够,而且打完一个标点总是会忘了空格再继续打字,这样会被认为是语法错误吗?还有10天考试了,这样的水平能拿几分啊?怎么办,怎么办?



作者: happyfish0517    时间: 2005-10-26 23:56

AAA007


AAA007 感谢小女公子的文章欢迎大家继续讨论






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