ChaseDream

标题: AI113,好凉一个秋,方才奋笔疾书一篇issue [打印本页]

作者: 12345678912345    时间: 2005-9-30 09:24
标题: AI113,好凉一个秋,方才奋笔疾书一篇issue

手脚冰凉啊,但是我心沸腾呢.刚才不小心数了数,gosh,超过500字了.不过时间也超过了呵呵.


看过贵站下载的一些作文范文,找不出个什么规律来,模板用不起来,不知道模板是为了凑数字,还是要把关键得分词塞进来.


又写了一篇issue,不知措辞,行文是否有得分的闪亮点啊.还望各位指教啦


AI113 “The nations of the world must increase spending on the building of space stations and on the exploration of other planets, even if doing someans spending less on other government programs.”



It is a hot topic over the issue of exploration of the out space, and whether it deserves the nations to spend large amount is still under discussion. I advocate decreasing the funding for the building of space station and exploration of other planets on ground of that there are some other programs for us to deal with, and they will benefit us much more. There are detail reasons to support my point of view.


To begin with, history has taught us the lesson that the competition in the outer space is only the waste of money, and makes the relationship between nations worse. The Cold War between America Union and former Soviet Union lasted for so many years, and cost both nations a lot of money. The economy developed slowly because the government focused most energy on the development of the space war. If there were no such war between these two developed nations, the world may show a far more prosperity view. As illustrated in the history event, we should not let such a miserable disaster happen again.


Furthermore, the increase in the spending on the space research means the decrease in the fund for the other government programs. This is per so a strong reason to deny the author's proposal, since there are so emergent issues waiting for the government to take care of, without enough fund they won't be taken out effectively, what's worse, they may be put away due to lack of money, then cause a serious aftermath to the nation. For instance, the issue about the poverty is more important because it concerns the stable of the society. Suppose that the nation can not make the whole nation develop healthily, there is possibility the people may overthrow the government. Without making sure that the fund for the other programs is sufficient, it is not advisable to cut the spending but to increase the spending for research of the outer space.


Undeniable, studying the space brings us benefit: thanks to it, the telecommunication develops so fast nowadays, and we may gain welfare from it in the future, it is hoped that we can explore the resource in the other planet. But all the reasons cited do not suffice to suggest to increase the spending on the building of the space station or on the exploration of the other planet on he sacrifice of decreasing the fund for other programs, since most of the other programs are more emergent, more closed to our daily lives, and will destroy the stability of the society if not taken out as expected.


To conclude, I refute the author's statement that to increase the spending on the exploration of the outer space is essential. As the reasons mentioned above, to spend too much money in the research of the space cannot bring us the benefit immediately. Moreover, the competition on it may ruin the relationship between nations, and it will make the other programs can not be fulfilled satisfactorily, hereby do harm to the government and the society. All these demonstrate the author's point of view is flawed, therefore should be denied.



作者: snowjing    时间: 2005-9-30 11:33
楼主几时考啊?
作者: 12345678912345    时间: 2005-9-30 22:53
11月8号,还有得救吗?呵呵
作者: fansiyg    时间: 2005-10-1 01:13
行文流畅,建议用一下模板使文章更有层次感,语言更有得分点
作者: brissa    时间: 2005-10-7 11:34

第一次帮别人看作文,不知道应该着重帮你看哪里,挑了几个小错。自己也不确定,你自己也看看,我说的不对的,也提出来,咱们一起提高。


主要是语法错误


Furthermore, the increase in the spending on the space research means the decrease in the fund for the other government programs. This is per so a strong reason to deny the author's proposal, since there are so emergent issues   so that 连用不要忘 waiting for the government to take care of, without enough fund they won't be taken out effectively, what's worse, they may be put away due to lack of money, then cause a serious aftermath to the nation. For instance, the issue about the poverty is more important because it concerns the stable of the society. Suppose that这个可以做连词吗? the nation can not make the whole nation develop healthily, there is possibility the people may overthrow the government. Without making sure that the fund for the other programs is sufficient, it is not advisable to cut the spending for sth 平行对称,最好补上but to increase the spending for research of the outer space.


Undeniable undeniably, studying the space brings us benefit: thanks to it, the telecommunication develops so fast nowadays, and (so that 连用)we may gain welfare from it in the future, it is hoped that we can explore the resource in the other planet. But all the reasons cited do not suffice to suggest to increase the spending on the building of the space station or on the exploration of the other planet on he sacrifice of decreasing the fund for other programs, since most of the other programs are more emergent urgent and more closed to our daily lives, and will destroy the stability of the society if not taken out as expected.


To conclude, I refute the author's statement that to increase the spending on the exploration of the outer space is essential. As the reasons mentioned above, to spend too much money in the research of the space cannot bring us the benefit immediately. Moreover, the competition on it may ruin the relationship between nations, and it will make the other programs can not be fulfilled satisfactorily make sb sth中间不要加can, hereby doing harm to the government and the society. All these demonstrate the author's point of view is flawed, therefore should be denied.






欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/) Powered by Discuz! X3.3