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标题: AI012很多表述拿不准,尤其是第二段,大家拍呀!还有,第一段哪句都舍不得删啊55555555 [打印本页]

作者: smallball    时间: 2005-9-24 20:39
标题: AI012很多表述拿不准,尤其是第二段,大家拍呀!还有,第一段哪句都舍不得删啊55555555

12. “Education has become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. Just as property and money once were the keys to success, education has now become the element that most ensures success in life.”
In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.


Recently there is a argument over whether education paly an most important role in success in life.Some people assert that education has become the element that most ensures success in life,while other people hold the oposite opinion.As a matter of fact,the issue of whether education has become the most important ensurance of success is a intricate and controversial one.Different people pocess diverse views owing to their distinct backgrounds.Therefore,there is not a general answer to this question,and whether one choice over the other may greatly depend on the specific situation.The decision,nevertheless,is not an easy one to make.Actually ,the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis.As far as I am concerned,however,I agree that education has infuluence on success to some extent.My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions.


The first argument that can be addressed to expand my standpoint is that education has some active impact on success in life.To make it clear,let us bestow thought to that if a person has a good education backgroud,it is much easier for him to get a job than a person who does not have a good education background.And why ?Because a better education can stand for better professional skills  and higher intelligence in major ,or at least a ability to learn!And so what ?After having a job ,he  can live  by himself and have a good chance to get higher position in the society and thus goes closer to success.However,if one do not have a education background,first of all,he may not get a satisfied job , secondly  he may not have a high salary ,thus he may not have a physical basic for success.Therefore ,the possibility of success  is really small.Under this circumstance,it is apparent that education do have some impact on the success.


In addition ,there is another reason for me to embrace this argument .The reason is not far to ferret out that there are some other factors determing the posibility of success,for example ,moral and the will to success.We can put an eye on moral of a person.If a person has bad morale though he or she has a excellent education background.We can guess that if the person entered a company and get a better a good salary than those who do not have such great education background.However,as time goes by ,people will ultimately find his or her bad moral and will thus look down upon him or her ,finally the person with bad moral will be fired by his or her employer.Therefore,the person with bad reputation may not find a good job again and may not have many chances to be successful for his or her bad reputation.Because no body want to coorperate with a person who has bad reputation.Hence, another evenly significant facet is that other factors such as moral and the will to success have impact on success in life.


Adimittedly ,it  may be credible that education play a nearly unparalell role in current society in some conditions.However,this alone does not comprise a decent foundation to allege that education play  the most important role in success.Actually,these cases are rare and consequently are too limited and too feeble to strengthen the view that education has become the element that most ensures sucess in life.When the advantages and disadvantages of education and other factors are carefully  examined,the most striking decuction is that educaion do have some effects on success to some extent but not all.


To sum up ,due to the abovementioned accounts,which sometimes correlate with each other to generate an internal whole and thus become more authentic than any  single one of them,we may be decent to deliver that education have some impact on success to some degree but not the all ,becaue other factors such as morale and the willingness to be successful also play important role on the possibility of success.


大家帮帮忙了,很多表述都拿不准,哭死了........


超时4分钟= =~~~~~~


觉得第一段是多了点,可是觉得删那句都舍不得,谢谢大家,请指教!~~~~


一定要指教啊!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~


[此贴子已经被作者于2005-9-25 22:48:28编辑过]

作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-9-25 10:42

As far as I am concerned,however,I agree that education has infuluence on success to some extent.My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions.


这个表达比较罗嗦要去掉那个I agree that


呵呵我要出去下下晚上仔细看哦,大家继续拍砖。


作者: smallball    时间: 2005-9-25 11:00
谢谢judy,果然是好人啊!感激涕泠!恩,期待你的砖头~~~~~~~~~~
作者: ayang1017    时间: 2005-9-25 18:56
没例子啊,可以把in addition那段里得we can guess改得假装象个例子,比方说我一个朋友就这样这样,会更好点吧
[此贴子已经被作者于2005-9-25 18:57:04编辑过]

作者: smallball    时间: 2005-9-25 19:04
以下是引用ayang1017在2005-9-25 18:56:00的发言:
没例子啊,可以把in addition那段里得we can guess改得假装象个例子,比方说我一个朋友就这样这样,会更好点吧

谢谢!


作者: dearjane    时间: 2005-9-25 22:12
以下是引用smallball在2005-9-24 20:39:00的发言:

12. “Education has become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. Just as property and money once were the keys to success, education has now become the element that most ensures success in life.”
In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.


Recently there is a(an) argument over whether education paly(plays) an(? 为什么不是the啊) most important role in success in life.Some people assert that education has become the element that most ensures success in life,while other people holdAs a matter of fact,the issue of whether education has become the most important ensurance of success is a intricate and controversial one.Different people pocess diverse views owing to their distinct backgrounds.Therefore,there is not a general answer to this question,and whether one choice over the other may greatly depend on the specific situation.The decision,nevertheless,is not an easy one to make.Actually ,the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis. the oposite(opposite) opinion.As far as I am concerned,however,I agree that education has infuluence on success to some extent.My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions.

妈呀,感觉small把所有能说在第一段的话都说上了。前面两句有人认为教育最重要但有人持相反意见和后面的不同人由于背景不同而持不同意见基本属于一个意思。另外我划出的两句也基本是一个意思。觉得不用说这么多吧,可一先简单写第一段,把文章都写完后如果有时间再补这些可有可无的句子,我都是这么写的。其实你写作水平挺高的说,加油加油哦



作者: smallball    时间: 2005-9-25 22:47

谢谢dearjane!!!


很感激的说!!!看的好仔细好认真哦,非常谢谢哦!



作者: 丑得老婆哭    时间: 2005-9-25 23:23
第一段.......果然是废话模板啊...




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