ChaseDream

标题: AA 32 苦求良师指导作文 [打印本页]

作者: drift_er 时间: 2005-9-10 20:09
标题: AA 32 苦求良师指导作文

第一次写作文，通过WORD 拼写和语法检查，拼写错误惨不忍睹。以下是修改拼写错误之后的文章。用时30分钟。恳求良师指导，多提意见。我也知道我写得很差，已经报名了，硬着头皮上吧。谢谢！

32.The following appeared in the editorial section of a West Cambria newspaper.

“A recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. In order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue for our town by collecting service fees for ambulance use, we should disband our volunteer service and hire a commercial ambulance service.”

The author concludes that the town should disband volunteer service in order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue for their town by collecting service fees for ambulance use. To support the argument the arguer cite the evidence that a recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. After careful consideration, this argument is probmaticat least in three important aspects.

In the first place, it is not convincible to draw the conclusion by comparing the performance between volunteer ambulance in West Cambria and a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. Perhaps there are much different transportation environment between the two cities. Without comparing the two services in the same situation, we cannot safely come to the occlusion that one is better than the other.

In the second place, the decision that is only based on response time is not sufficient to draw the conclusion. Some other factors may even more important than response time to provide better patient care for accident victims, such as medical skills, good service, and lower costs. Without further evidence, we can not decide which kind of service is better.

The last but not the least reason is that the argument fall a 'either or' fallacy. Developing commercial ambulance service does not mean they must disband volunteer ambulance service. The city can develop not only volunteer ambulance service, but also commercial service, and use both advantages to enhance better patient care for accident victims and raise revenue of the town.

In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing. The arguer fails to conclude that they should disband their volunteer service in order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue for their town by collecting service fees for ambulance use. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide more information about the performance between volunteer ambulance and commercial ambulance service in the same situation. The arguer also should not negnect some better ways to solve the problem.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-10-12 9:31:31编辑过]

作者: drift_er 时间: 2005-9-10 21:28