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标题: 我刚写完的第一篇AI78,请NN们多多指点呀! [打印本页]

作者: cher6068    时间: 2005-8-14 21:45
标题: 我刚写完的第一篇AI78,请NN们多多指点呀!

刚写完的版本简直是不堪入目,一箩筐的拼写错误,改了半天呢。而且字数只有300多一点,是不是不够呀,请NN们使劲批驳吧,多谢了!


78、Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes.


In your opinion, which is more important — preserving historic buildings or encouraging modern development? Explain your position, using reasons and examples based on your own experiences, observations, or reading.



Which is more important——preserving historic building or encouraging modern development? This is a quite complex and controversial problem. In my point of view, to give a convincing solution of it, we should analyze the situations case by case, and try to strike a good balance between history preservation and modern development.



In general, I would like to say that in majority situations history preservation takes precedence over modern development. History relics are of significant values to our modern society. They are reminiscent of our past, are sources to learn our history development, reveal merits in architecture and art, and give important aspiration of the solution of modern problems. Because history buildings can not be replicate, and because our modern construction blueprints are relatively easy to be remodeled, we should try our best not to base our modern society development on the cost of ruin of history buildings.



My suggestion in preserving history buildings does not mean that I disprove any demolition of history relics. If there are great numbers of buildings of the same history phrase and they have similar values on the part of history, architecture and art, when controversy arises that these old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes, I agree to demolish some of them to meet the modern need. But before demolition, historians should convince that these buildings are not the last we can see of their kinds and that all information usable in the future has been recorded in detailed.



Summarily, one the one hand I deem unique old buildings as valuable historical heritages that we prosperity should cherish. On the other hand, I also agree to sacrifice some of our old buildings to satisfy our modern development need, but the prerequisites are that these buildings are not the only remained representatives of their time, and that all their information has been recorded completely and concretely for possible future uses.


作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-8-15 18:10
以下是引用cher6068在2005-8-14 21:45:00的发言:

刚写完的版本简直是不堪入目,一箩筐的拼写错误,改了半天呢。而且字数只有300多一点,是不是不够呀,请NN们使劲批驳吧,多谢了!


78、Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes.


In your opinion, which is more important — preserving historic buildings or encouraging modern development? Explain your position, using reasons and examples based on your own experiences, observations, or reading.



Which is more important——preserving historic building or encouraging modern development? This is a quite complex and controversial problem. In my point of view, to give a convincing solution of it, we should analyze the situations case by case, and try to strike a good balance between history preservation and modern development.



In general, I would like to say that in majority situations history preservation takes precedence over modern development. History relics are of significant values to our modern society. They are reminiscent   好象应该用名词形式的reminiscence比较好  of our past, are sources to learn our history development, reveal merits in architecture and art, and give important aspiration 我感觉应该是inspiration of the solution of modern problems. Because history   historical ? buildings can not be replicate应该用过去分词啊, and because our modern construction blueprints are relatively easy to be remodeled, we should try our best not to base our modern society development on the cost of ruin of history buildings.



My suggestion in preserving history buildings does not mean that I disprove any demolition of history relics. If there are great numbers of buildings of the same history phrase and they have similar values on the part of history, architecture and art, when controversy arises that these old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes, I agree to demolish some of them to meet the modern need. But before demolition, historians should convince that these buildings are not the last we can see of their kinds and that all information usable in the future has been recorded in detailed.



Summarily, one the one hand I deem unique old buildings as valuable historical heritages that we prosperity should cherish.


这个是什么意思呢?


On the other hand, I also agree to sacrifice some of our old buildings to satisfy our modern development need, but the prerequisites are that these buildings are not the only remained representatives of their time, and that all their information has been recorded completely and concretely for possible future uses.


呵呵写的还是不错就是字数太少。去找下提纲看看别人的的模版建议还是五段式


作者: cher6068    时间: 2005-8-15 21:26
多谢版主的详细修改了,真没想到版主这么负责人呢。我想我的确应该去吸取一下大家的讨论精华。路慢慢呢!
作者: cher6068    时间: 2005-8-15 21:35
能不能有劳请教一下“五段式”的结构是怎么样的呢?
作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-8-15 21:56
就是开头结尾然后中间三段啊。AA是指最好有3个逻辑错误,AI就不是很明确了。




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