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标题: AA006 我找不到什么逻辑错误judy修改标题见谅 [打印本页]

作者: po_po72    时间: 2005-5-23 11:04
标题: AA006 我找不到什么逻辑错误judy修改标题见谅

6.The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life.
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.


想不出有什么逻辑错误


要是碰到这样的题目 又没有举例  一时半会找不出错误  那不是干瞪眼


麻烦各位给说说这个题目


另外 失业率等于什么比什么呀



作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-5-23 22:15

1作者认为应该到该地区建厂理由是这里的失业率很高。但是却没有给出因果关系。从常理来看这是没有道理的因为失业率高的地方可能更难雇佣到雇员从而使成本增加。


2作者认为该地区会鼓励研发,所以应该到该地区投资。但事实上就象作者说的那样该地区是制造业中心怎么可能有很多对技术和科研很熟练的人员。


失业率是失业人数比上劳动力。劳动力是就业人数加失业人数。注意劳动力和成年人口有很大区别。


至于JJ说的“干瞪眼”的问题。呵呵这正是我希望可以大家一起讨论中文提纲的原因。毕竟思路可以雷同,但是句型什么的不成。如果用英文弄大家的句型难免雷同


[此贴子已经被作者于2005-5-23 22:15:41编辑过]

作者: po_po72    时间: 2005-5-23 23:48

谢谢  斑斑  


其次 弄中文提纲也有道理  支持 斑斑


作者: oookk    时间: 2005-5-24 15:06

1作者认为应该到该地区建厂理由是这里的失业率很高。但是却没有给出因果关系。从常理来看这是没有道理的因为失业率高的地方可能更难雇佣到雇员从而使成本增加。


   题目不是说该地方失业率高才鼓励去那里寻找发财机会,题目说: Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average"因为失业率低才鼓励.


我觉得可以从两点驳斥:


1.失业率低,并非就是好,可以引发一些不好的,如会导致人口大量涌到这个城市,导致饱和,人的知识可能没什么创新,等等.


2.跟2楼的观点一样,有空再写写


大家一起想想


作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-5-24 17:08
sorry啊我写错了,应该是:

1作者认为应该到该地区建厂理由是这里的失业率很低。但是却没有给出因果关系。从常理来看这是没有道理的因为失业率低的地方可能更难雇佣到雇员从而使成本增加。oookk的补充很对呀,呵呵,真是不好意思!


作者: wwwhahchn    时间: 2005-6-26 20:04

我也觉得这题好难,我看不太懂作者的逻辑


作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-6-26 21:49
以下是引用judydongxueni在2005-5-23 22:15:00的发言:

1作者认为应该到该地区建厂理由是这里的失业率很高。但是却没有给出因果关系。从常理来看这是没有道理的因为失业率高的地方可能更难雇佣到雇员从而使成本增加。


2作者认为该地区会鼓励研发,所以应该到该地区投资。但事实上就象作者说的那样该地区是制造业中心怎么可能有很多对技术和科研很熟练的人员。


失业率是失业人数比上劳动力。劳动力是就业人数加失业人数。注意劳动力和成年人口有很大区别。


至于JJ说的“干瞪眼”的问题。呵呵这正是我希望可以大家一起讨论中文提纲的原因。毕竟思路可以雷同,但是句型什么的不成。如果用英文弄大家的句型难免雷同




呵呵,还是没有思路吗?
作者: wwwhahchn    时间: 2005-6-27 10:48
以下是引用judydongxueni在2005-6-26 21:49:00的发言:


呵呵,还是没有思路吗?


谢谢judy啦~~


我来帖一下我的这篇吧,这个是一开始写的,感觉写得很不好,说不清楚道理


Based on the fact that Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average in the recent recession, the article claims that corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. To strengthen his argument, the author cites that Helios is the industrial center of the region, and that it has provided more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs. In addition, the author indicates that Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. At first sight, the author's line of reasoning is attractive and convincing, since it has so many evidences to substantiate the conclusion. But after close examination, we will find that the reasoning is illogical in the following aspects.



First, the author cites the fact that Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It may true that low unemployment rate implies good economic environment. But in my opinion, low unemployment rate also means high labor costs. Because there are fewer idle labor forces, workers will ask for higher level of wages, which is a disadvantage to corporations. Without weighing the advantages against the disadvantages of low unemployment rate, one can not draw the conclusion that low unemployment rate is definitely beneficial to corporations.



Second, the author says that Helios has provided more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs. Since there are more manufacturing jobs, new businesses might have difficulty in attracting workers to work for them. So, under such circumstance, corporations will find that a city like Helios is not very well for establishing new businesses. Moreover, Helios has only provided more manufacturing jobs, but, as we know, there are so many kinds of job other than manufacturing jobs. With so little information, we can not make any conclusion.



Finally, the author says that Helios is attempting to expand its economic base, but by attracting companies that focus on only research and development of innovative technologies. However, not all corporations are such companies, so the conclusion is prejudicial.



In sum, the author's line of reasoning is illogical in the above three aspects. To make more convincing conclusion, the author should compare the advantages and disadvantages of low unemployment rate. To better assess the conclusion, we should investigate how the more jobs in Helios affect new businesses. To strengthen the argument, the author should make sure that the corporations in(at) issue focus on research and development of innovative technologies.


[此贴子已经被作者于2005-6-27 10:48:37编辑过]

作者: wwwhahchn    时间: 2005-6-27 10:57

这个是后来重写的,没有限时,写了600多字,晕


由于我找了太多的错误,所以就没有一点一点地分段写,而是一句一句地进行驳斥,感觉比一开始的那篇更有说服力,但是看着有些乱


In the argument, the author concludes that corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. To substantiate this suggestion, the author points out three advantages of the city of Helios: lower unemployment rate, more manufacturing jobs and attempt to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. At first glance, the author’s line of reasoning seems attractive and convincing. However, further reflection reveals that it omits some important points that should be clarified when making such conclusion.



In the first place, the author cites that Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the region’s average in the recent recession. First, the author does not provide the exact date of the recession. The fact that happened in the past does not constitute a sound evidence to draw a conclusion that is applied to the present. Second, although Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the region’s average, it is possible that the region’s average unemployment rate was higher than the state’s average, leaving Helios’s unemployment rate, which was lower than the region’s average, still higher than the state’s average. Third, lower unemployment rate may bring disadvantages to new businesses, since fewer idle labor forces have more power in negotiations about such issues as the level of wages. With these considerations, the fact that Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the region’s average in the recent recession seems not a priority when corporations choose locations to establish new businesses.



In the second place, the author states that Helios is the industrial center of the region. While Helios can bring precious opportunities to new businesses, it also brings risks. There are so many established companies and such fierce competition that it will be difficult for a new business to stand stably in the existing market. The author also says that Helios has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. However, such a situation undoubtedly elicits a consideration that these jobs exceed the quantity needed. Since the quantity of jobs is oversupplanted(呵呵,这个词似乎是我自己造的,查了一下字典,改成superfluous), it will be difficult for new businesses to recruit sufficient workers.



Finally, the author gives another evidence that Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. Since it is mentioned that Helios has provided more than share of the region’s manufacturing jobs, one can suspect that such a large group of workers proficient at manufacturing jobs is able to provide the very workers need for companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. There is another problem. Helios attracts only the high-tech companies, and maybe will supply such beneficial polices as tax relief. Therefore, this point is not attractive to the companies which do not focus on the research and development of innovative technologies. Without ruling out the possibility that the corporations at issue are not the kind of company which Helios tries to attract, the author’s suggestion is problematic.



In sum, the author provides three evidences all of which are not convincing. To make his conclusion more persuading, the author should provide the exact date of the recession and the exact unemployment rate of Helios. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should make sure that all the companies at issue focus on the research and development of innovative technologies. To better assess the conclusion, we need more information comparing the advantages of Helios as the industrial center of the region with the disadvantages of fewer available labor forces and fierce competition. Only after these procedures, we can draw an accurate conclusion whether Helios is a superior place for corporations to seek new business opportunities or a new location.


作者: judydongxueni    时间: 2005-6-27 17:49

呵呵,我觉得你好谦虚啊!其实写的都很不错了。


建议如下,仅供参考:


1象第一次写的那样写就可以了。因为限时的情况下找太多的逻辑错误必然要以文章的其他方面的水平下降为代价。


2你的时间还是很充裕的,现在基础又很好,可以在更高的层次上要求自己。例如可以每天看下AWA224,看看母语为英语的人的经管类文章。循序渐进的积累一些专业词汇,固定用法,结构用词,句式那么8月份的时候AWA绝对可以很不错的。


作者: wwwhahchn    时间: 2005-6-27 21:31

谢谢judy的建议,我希望AWA可以拿到6.0


作者: andylouis    时间: 2007-8-16 21:11

看看!!!


作者: yzhao26    时间: 2008-12-30 03:09
up
作者: yase880211    时间: 2009-9-18 16:49

up






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