作为练习，积累了几篇了。忘大牛们指点指点

ryanzhu1024

先上第一篇。

Some people believe that universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study. Others believe that universities should not force students to take any courses other than those that will help prepare them for jobs in their chosen fields.

重新修改后的文章。褐色斜体为修改内容

        The statement above, composing two opinions of what universities should do for students to choose courses correctly, are extremism in both terms of knowledge width and career pursuing. We can infer from modern universities all around the world, especially in America, that no one is forced to choose courses. Students are free to all curriculums and required to specialize at one field after the first-two years studying.
         Undoubtedly, knowledge is inner connected,directly or indirectly. Without programming skills, fundamental knowledge about computers and math, students majoring in biology will never be able to do the research of humans genes, which requires students to write an efficient computer program for the complex mathematical computation.
        However it can not be deduced to the situation where students should be required to take various course outside their field of study. First, it's obvious from the previous example that knowledge of both math and computer are not actually outside biology. They are tools and fundamentals that help students make progress. Meanwhile, students don't have enough time to attend a variety of courses which has no benefits but occupy their spare time to relax and socialize. By forcing students to follow such education policy, students would lost interests in the field of their study and get exhausted by the meaningless burden from the various courses outside their majors. Finally they lost the competition of job pursuing when graduate.
        Thus, it seems reasonable to put all emphasis on the courses that will help them to get a ludicrous job. But it is also unacceptable from our common sense. No one can make the prediction about what will be the ludicrous job in the future. With a quick reflection of history, dentist, doctor, lawyer, salesman, programmer, architecture and etc. , they were all ludicrous job.But with increasing number of people applying for those jobs,vacancies are less then required, salary decreased and employees started to leave. A fact is that graduates are limited. While most of them devoted themselves to the ludicrous jobs, there are less available for the brand new jobs requiring more talented students. Surely it's a failure for students and an education fiasco for the society.  Another reason is that students have their own interests and interests are the best teacher. By giving students enough freedom in their study, they will have chances to expand their knowledge and make progress beyond their limits.
        In other words, there must be a middle way,rather than being extremism, to balance the choices of courses in universities. Universities should keep in mind that their duty of education is to provide students with enough resources they need to study, teach them the right way of learning and guide them to make a reasonable choice about the future. For students, it's useful to take several different courses during the first two years in the university to enlarge the width of knowledge and find your own truly interest, following with the rest of university life focusing on one field of study. Jobs should be taken into consideration but not the highest priority. As long as a survival in the contemporary crucial society is ensured, what kind of field of study with its corresponding courses should be chosen is all up to students' own attempt.

竹林中人

小改，加油

ryanzhu1024

竹林中人 发表于 2014-1-17 22:15
小改，加油

多谢！看到你的评注了。顺便想问下，从结构上来说这样写可行吗？因为我看了其他题目两篇6分作文都是：先反对或者指出题目中的不完善，然后又赞同题目的部分，再展开自己的观点，一般有两到三个分论点，最后一个总结。我觉得我这篇除了最后一段，前面都是在驳斥题目中的两种观点，最后才引出自己的论点。总有种论证还不够有力的感觉。

竹林中人

ryanzhu1024 发表于 2014-1-18 00:07
多谢！看到你的评注了。顺便想问下，从结构上来说这样写可行吗？因为我看了其他题目两篇6分作文都是：先 ...

这要看具体题目类型，这题是给出了两个观点，你肯定得对两个观点都作出评价，然后给出自己的观点。

ryanzhu1024

竹林中人 发表于 2014-1-18 14:41
这要看具体题目类型，这题是给出了两个观点，你肯定得对两个观点都作出评价，然后给出自己的观点。 ...

明白了。