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本帖精华送给Jay & AceJ 对于 "速度与理解、撰写回忆" 的精彩讨论。 by iamyingjie~
hi~
队友们,周日的文史哲来咯~
time1,time2各为一篇,time3-5一篇(个人觉得这篇文章收获蛮大的~),最后越障一篇~
我感觉这次难度不大,希望大家好好享受~~~
好了,上作业吧!!!
Part 1 Speed
Article 1(Check the title later)
The Hawaiian Stairway to Heaven
Posted Thursday, July 4, 2013, at 10:15 AM
[TIME1]
The Ha'iku Stairs, also known as the Stairway to Heaven, form a steep mountain hiking trail that seems to disappear into the skies above Oahu.
The trail got its start as a simple wooden ladder attached to the cliff. It was installed during World War II to facilitate the building of a giant VLF transmitter. As opposed to other VLF-transmitters this station did not use any towers, but antenna cables spun between the cliffs above Ha'iku Valley. These, along with a building at the peak, could transmit signals that could reach submarines submerged in the waters of Tokyo Bay.
In the 1950s, the wooden stairway was replaced by metal stairs and ramps -- 3,922 steps in all. The stairway became off-limits in 1987, when vandals destroyed three of its sections. Undeterred, thrill-seeking hikers soon took to sneaking up the stairs, incurring the ire of local residents.
Though the city repaired the broken and rusted segments in 2002 with the intent of opening the Ha’iku stairs to the public, community complaints and liability concerns have kept them closed. At just 18 inches wide, and more like a ladder in the steepest sections, the steps require climbers to travel single-file and make passing others difficult. A handrail on each side offers protection from tumbles down the mountain, but those rails -- and the stairs -- are often wet and slippery from the humidity.
To score a spectacular view of the sunrise, you’ll need to start your hike up Ha’iku stairs in the dead of night. Each day at about 5am, a security guard arrives at the foot of the stairs to enforce the no-trespassing rule. If you can find your way through the pitch-black jungle before the guard arrives, you’ll be able to hike to the summit and back without getting into trouble. (As long as you are quiet and polite, the guard may even congratulate you or take a group photo when you arrive back at the bottom.) The reward for completing the adrenalin-fueled, mist-shrouded ascent is a glorious 360-degree view of Oahu.
[Words: 342]
Source: Slate
http://www.slate.com/blogs/atlas_obscura/2013/07/04/these_vlf_transmitter_access_stairs_lead_to_an_awe_inspiring_view.html
Article 2(Check the title later)
Don’t Say Goodbye
Just ghost.
By Seth Stevenson Wednesday, July 3, 2013, at 5:45 AM
[TIME2]
One recent evening, I celebrated my birthday in the outdoor courtyard of a bar. As the night wore on, and friends fell by the wayside, each departure occasioned a small ritual. A pal would sidle up to whichever conversational circle I was in; edge closer and closer, so as to make herself increasingly conspicuous; and finally smile, apologetically, when the conversation halted so I could turn to her and say goodbye.
Nothing but good intentions here. To some small extent, I appreciated the politeness of this parting gesture. It was not a major imposition to pause for a moment and thank folks for coming.
But there’s a better way. One that saves time and agita, acknowledges clear-eyed realities, and keeps the social machine humming.
Just ghost.
Ghosting—aka the Irish goodbye, the French exit, and any number of other vaguely ethnophobic terms—refers to leaving a social gathering without saying your farewells. One moment you’re at the bar, or the house party, or the Sunday morning wedding brunch. The next moment you’re gone. In the manner of a ghost. “Where’d he go?” your friends might wonder. But—and this is key—they probably won’t even notice that you’ve left.
Yes, I know. You’re going to tell me it’s rude to leave without saying goodbye. This moral judgment is implicit in the culturally derogatory nicknames ghosting has been burdened with over the centuries. The English have been calling it French leave since 1751, while the French have been referring to filer à l'anglaise since at least the late 1800s. As with other cross-Channel insults—depending on your side, a condom is either a French letter or la capote anglaise, syphilis the French disease or la maladie anglaise—the idea is to pin unsavory behavior on your foes.
Here in the U.S., the most-used term seems to be Irish goodbye, which, due to unfortunate historical stereotyping, hints that the vanished person was too tipsy to manage a proper denouement. Dutch leave is a less common, but apparently real, variant. (I picture someone taking a couple pulls on a vaporizer, scarfing too much bitterballen, and stumbling into the night.) And then there’s the old, presumably Jewish joke: WASPs leave and don’t say goodbye, Jews say goodbye and don’t leave.
But religio-nationalist slurs aside, is it really so bad to bounce without fanfare?
We all agree it’s fun to say hello. A hello has the bright promise of a beginning. It’s the perfect occasion to express your genuine pleasure at a friend’s arrival. But who among us enjoys saying goodbye? None among us! Not those leaving, and not those left behind.
[Words: 437]
[the rest]
Goodbyes are, by their very nature, at least a mild bummer. They represent the waning of an evening or event. By the time we get to them, we’re often tired, drunk, or both. The short-timer just wants to go home to bed, while the night owl would prefer not to acknowledge the growing lateness of the hour. These sorts of goodbyes inevitably devolve into awkward small talk that lasts too long and then peters out. We vow vaguely to meet again, then linger for a moment, thinking of something else we might say before the whole exchange fizzles and we shuffle apart. Repeat this several times, at a social outing delightfully filled with your acquaintances, and it starts to sap a not inconsiderable portion of that delight.
Let’s free ourselves from this meaningless, uncomfortable, good time–dampening kabuki. People are thrilled that you showed up, but no one really cares that you’re leaving. Granted, it might be aggressive to ghost a gathering of fewer than 10. And ghosting a group of two or three is not so much ghosting as ditching. But if the party includes more than 15 or 20 attendees, there’s a decent chance none will notice that you’re gone, at least not right away. (It may be too late for them to cancel that pickleback shot they ordered for you, but, hey, that’s on them.) If there’s a guest of honor, as at a birthday party, I promise you that person is long ago air-kissed out. Just ghost.
Still think it’s an etiquette breach? Simply replace your awkward goodbye with a heartfelt email sent the following morning. This note can double as a formal thank you to the host—a rare gesture these days, and one that actually does have value. (You can even include the link to that English Beat video you couldn’t stop raving about last night.) Got a safety concern, and want to alert people that you’re stepping out alone into the dangerous night? Send a text after you’re out the door.
Once you’ve mastered the basics, you might try out some ghosting variations. I have a friend who favors the “Northern Irish goodbye.” You announce your intention to ghost long in advance, as a warning, so there will be no collateral damage.
Whichever version you choose, it is time to commence ghosting, America. Should you have questions about all this, I’m happy to answer them. I’m just gonna wander toward the front of the bar for a second. Be right back.
[Words: 418]
Source: Slate
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/a_fine_whine/2013/07/ghosting_the_irish_goodbye_the_french_leave_stop_saying_goodbye_at_parties.html
Article 3(Check the title later)
The Perils of Giving Advice
June 24, 2013, 7:03 p.m. ET
[TIME3]
“I know what you should do and here's my advice.” How many times have you heard that (and groaned)?
Advice giving, especially unsolicited, is tricky. Being on the receiving end can be annoying and make us defensive. But giving advice can be frustrating, as well, particularly when the intended beneficiary of our wisdom makes it clear it isn't welcome—or takes the same recommendations we've been giving for months from someone else. The whole advice issue is typically hardest to navigate with the person we know the best: our spouse or partner.
In a series of six studies that followed 100 couples for the first seven years of marriage, researchers at the University of Iowa found that both husbands and wives feel lower marital satisfaction when they are given too much advice from a spouse, as opposed to too little. And—surprise!—unsolicited advice is the most damaging kind. The most recent study was published in 2009 in the Journal of Family Psychology.
In one study, the researchers videotaped spouses discussing a problem that one of them had—say a struggle to lose weight or quit smoking—while the other partner offered advice. They then examined the positive and negative behaviors that each person engaged in while asking for support, receiving it or providing it.
One result of the study was unexpected: How the person asking for or receiving the support behaves is more important to the health of the relationship than how the person giving the advice behaves. "It's a vulnerable position to need support," says Erika Lawrence, one of the lead researchers on the studies and associate professor at the University of Iowa.
Another finding: When too little advice was offered in a marriage, it was the men who suffered more. Researchers believe this is because husbands often look to their wives as their primary source of encouragement, while wives lean on friends and other loved ones, in addition to their husbands.
[words: 324]
[TIME4]
Men and women tend to experience different emotions when they receive advice from a partner, says Anna Ranieri, a psychologist in Palo Alto, Calif., and co-author of "How Can I Help? What you Can (and Can't) Do to Counsel a Friend, Colleague or Family Member with a Problem." When wives offer guidance, husbands often feel reprimanded or nagged. Yet when the advice comes from the husbands—who are more likely to give tangible, fix-it type suggestions to a problem—it is common for wives to feel that they are being condescended to or seen as incapable.
Just ask Claude and Kate Colp about the "onion incident." The couple, who have been married three years and live in Wayland, Mass., used to enjoy cooking dinner together after work. One day, Ms. Colp was cutting an onion for salsa, happily chatting away, when her husband grabbed the knife and told her she was doing it wrong—making slices instead of dices. He finished the chopping, explaining his technique. "It was very harsh," says Ms. Colp, 31, an account manager for a corporate wellness program. "He took the knife as if I was an idiot." Mr. Colp, 32, who recently finished his M.B.A., explains: "I know a superior way to cut an onion. I was taught by a chef."
Ms. Colp has annoyed her husband with advice, too. At a Mexican restaurant with three other couples Mr. Colp announced that he would never eat chicken tacos (the dish the person next to him had ordered), and then launched into a sermon about genetically modified food. After the dinner, Ms. Colp pointed out that he had bored their friends and told him he needed to remember to ask people questions, not just talk about himself. Mr. Colp fumed—not speaking for the rest of the 45-minute ride home. "I felt like I just got scolded by my mother," he says.
"The things said to you by your wife have history behind them," says Mr. Colp. "I know she knows my faults and weaknesses."
There's the rub: Spouses often assume we are touching on their faults deliberately—so even well-meaning advice strikes them as criticism. And they get sick of us offering up the same advice over and over.
[Words: 374]
[TIME5]
Since spouses know each other so well, they think they know exactly what the other needs to do. "It's a mind-reading problem," says Dr. Ranieri. "We tend to quickstep into giving advice, leaving out the important intermediate step of finding out more about what is going on."
One way to give better advice is to first make sure your spouse actually wants your help. You can do this by asking—a novel idea!—"Would you like some ideas on that?"
Consider what Dr. Lawrence, of the University of Iowa, calls the Platinum Rule: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them." In other words, stop and listen. Sometimes listening can be even more effective than giving advice. "If you allow someone the time to talk something through, that can help them determine what advice to give themselves," says Dr. Ranieri.
Or try telling them a story. "This might not be appropriate for you, but what I did when I had a similar problem was…" This approach allows an exchange of information. "The person with the problem can say, 'Thank you for the story but here is the difference for me with my situation,' " says Dr. Ranieri. "Then you can target your next remarks to that."
What if you're the recipient of unwanted advice? Respond with a "thank you," to acknowledge the gesture. Then explain that you aren't looking for advice at this time. This allows for the possibility that down the road you may want advice.
Be sure to explain what would be helpful to you. Do you need someone to simply listen? Brainstorm? Bring chicken soup? Someone who loves you will be relieved to know how to be useful.
"We often don't know what we want, just that what they did didn't help," says Dr. Lawrence. "I encourage spouses to really try to think about what kinds of support they need—do they want their spouse to give advice, tangible support, just listen?"
The Colps's hard-won advice on giving advice: Outsource it. Ms. Colp now sometimes discusses what advice to give her husband with her mother, then asks her to deliver it. (This works because her mother and husband are close, she says.) And Mr. Colp recently had a friend teach his wife to wakeboard. The couple also notes that tone and timing are important. (A rule: No giving advice before dinner, when everyone's hungry.)
They try to offer advice only when asked. "I stay out of the kitchen when she is cooking, and now she actually comes to me and asks if she is cutting something right," says Mr. Colp. "Because I am not offering unsolicited advice anymore, she is willing to accept my superior onion-slicing skills."
[Words: 453]
Source:WSJ
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324637504578565350148621048.html?mod=trending_now_3
Part 2 Obstacle
Article 4(Check the title later)
What to do when your adult child moves back home
By Mari-Jane Williams
[TIME6]
Maureen Shackelford slips into old habits sometimes. The Annapolis mother of three grabs dirty laundry from one of her children’s rooms on her way downstairs, or picks up clothes in her son’s bedroom and puts them away. She has to stop and remind herself: Kyle is 23, Erin is 22 and Colin is 19. They are adults.
But they are living at home.
Finding the line between supporting and enabling your recent graduate is a typical experience in the life of a family with “boomerang” children who move back home after college.
With the economy lagging the past few years, 39 percent of adults ages 18 to 34 say they have had to move in with their parents in recent years, according to a 2011 studyby the Pew Research Center. A Pew analysis of Census Bureau data showed that more adults are living in multi-generational households than at any time since the 1950s.
“It’s really common for parents to help their kids in their 20s,” said Liz Weston, a personal finance columnist. “If what you’re doing is helping to launch your kid into living independently, it’s a good thing. But if what you’re doing is enabling your kid to remain a teenager, that’s not a good thing.”
The Shackelfords are taking in Kyle and Erin, both of whom graduated from college in May, while they save money and continue their education. Youngest son Colin is also home for the summer after his freshman year at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington.
“Having five grown adult independent-thinking people in the house is not easy,” Maureen said. “They all have their own ideas about everything now; they’re not just compliant miniature versions of you anymore.”
Here are suggestions from financial advisers and other experts on how to stay sane and make sure you are preparing your adult child for a relaunch instead of giving him or her an extended vacation from the responsibilities of the real world.
Set a time limit. Before your fledgling adult makes his way back to the nest, talk about expectations, including how long the arrangement will last and what your child hopes to accomplish while he is living at home, whether it’s saving enough for a security deposit on an apartment, finding a full-time job or recovering from a messy breakup.
That doesn’t mean that you have to kick him out the minute the agreed-upon time frame is up, says Amy Goyer, home and family expert for AARP. Set a trial period of three to six months, or a year, and then reevaluate to see whether the arrangement is working for everyone.
Psychologist Carl Pickhardt, author of “Boomerang Kids: A Revealing Look at Why So Many of Our Children Are Failing on Their Own, and How Parents Can Help,” said parents should involve their child in determining what that time frame should be.
“Ask him, ‘How long do you need?’ Then, at the end of six months or a year, sit down and see where you are in relation to the objectives you set,” Pickhardt said. “A time frame can keep him focused and be a reminder that this is a working stay, not a vacation.”
Charge rent. Financial advisers say you should charge rent, even if it’s minimal. If you don’t want to put that money toward paying bills, you can use it to help pay down student loans or save it to give to your child when he or she is ready to move out.
Having your child be responsible for rent and other expenses will prepare him to live on a budget when he moves out, said Kathy Roeser, a financial adviser with Morgan Stanley in Chicago. Use budgeting software such as Mint.com or spreadsheets to help him track income and expenses, added David Kassir, a registered investment adviser with Manna Capital Management in the District.
How much to charge depends on your child’s income, but Roeser suggests using the average cost of a rental in your area as a basis for setting monthly payments.
Kassir said parents should charge 30 percent of their child’s income, just as a rental property or mortgage company would calculate how much a person can afford to spend on housing.
If your child is not employed, you can substitute household chores for rent, Goyer said.
In some cases, parents might choose not to charge rent. That can help children save money and move out sooner.
Tom Miceli, who moved home to West Hartford, Conn., after graduating from nearbyWesleyan University with a bachelor’s degree in English last year, said his parents did not charge him rent, so he has saved all of the money he has earned working several part-time jobs. He is preparing to move to an apartment in New York with some friends in a few weeks, he said.
Don’t let your child get too comfortable. Pickhardt says parents should create a sense of “constructive discomfort” for their kids, so they are motivated to move out. By setting clear expectations for behavior and contributions to the household, and requiring that your child share information about his whereabouts and activities, you’re sending the message that this isn’t a free ride.
“They’re not coming home to collapse and be taken care of until they’re ready to move on,” Pickhardt said. “They’re coming home with a purpose, and the parents are there to help them achieve that purpose.”
Discuss ahead of time everything from television and computer time to chores, entertaining guests and smoking and drinking, Goyer said. She recommended setting up a weekly or monthly time to meet informally and talk about how things are going, and what is or isn’t working. Goyer also suggested a written contract outlining time frame, boundaries and responsibilities.
The Shackelfords said they allow their kids a fair amount of freedom. If the kids are not going to come home on a given night, Maureen said, they need to text or call to let their parents know. She hasn’t run into any big problems, but she thinks that the threat of losing car privileges would be enough to straighten out any problems.
“They’re very reliant on us, right down to car they drive, which we own,” she said. “If you don’t have wheels, you can’t get to work. It cuts you off. That’s a nice recourse.”
Be supportive. Although you want to make the living conditions not completely comfortable, Pickhardt said, it’s important to let your child know you are there for him and you want to help him. Offer help and advice without being judgmental or critical.
“It’s important that parents are not blaming the child,” Pickhardt said. “It should be, ‘I’m happy to put my life experience at your disposal, you have the freedom to ask about anything without fear of recrimination.’ ”
Miceli, 23, said his parents have helped him regroup and get ready to move out, hopefully for the last time. In some ways, he said, the year at home has been bittersweet because they all realize that if everything goes according to plan, he won’t be coming back to stay.
“We’ve always had a pretty close relationship, but it moved more toward being able to have adult conversations,” Miceli said.
“There’d be days when, for whatever reason, I was really frustrated, but my mom was very positive and would say, ‘You can do whatever you want; you just have to believe in yourself.’ That’s so corny in a way, but it’s better than ‘Why are you still here?’ I never got that from them.”
[words: 1296]
Source:Washington Post
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/what-to-do-when-your-adult-child-moves-back-home/2013/06/25/8f017728-d444-11e2-b05f-3ea3f0e7bb5a_story.html
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