(AA11)argument 11

anchoret

总体不错。高分

1、after this and therefore because of this？
and 似乎多余

2、The author in this argument is trying to establish that
个人觉得establish后面最好有个名词引导，比如the conclusion

3、above mentioned
连起来

4、strengthen the conclusion that the residents of San Perdito would be best served that if they voted Montoya out of office and reelected Varro by demonstrating
这里可以直接用strengthen the conclusion by......

5第一段可以适当用些长句。