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刚写的AAA10 居然650个字

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楼主
发表于 2005-7-24 18:35:00 | 显示全部楼层

刚写的AAA10 居然650个字

还有十几天就考试,作文还不会写。上午issue写了四个点,实在写不下去了,都不会说话了。


下午写了第二篇argument, 两个点,严重超时,郁闷中。



A10. The following appeared in a memo from the vice president in charge of fundraising at laceName w:st="on">WaymarshlaceName> laceType w:st="on">UniversitylaceType>:


“Three years ago, as part of a very successful campaign to increase the amount of money donated for scholarships, laceName w:st="on">SophialaceName> laceName w:st="on">CollegelaceName> used student volunteers to telephone selected alumni and request contributions. That year the total amount of money donated to Sophia exceeded its annual goal by 150%. To reduce overhead costs for fundraising and increase contributions, laceName w:st="on">WaymarshlaceName> University should begin using student volunteers to make telephone requests in all our fundraising efforts. Furthermore, since the enrollment at Waymarsh University is more than twice that at Sophia College, we should be able to raise at least as much money each year as Sophia did by using this same method.”



In this argument, the president suggests that Waymarsh Unniversity should use student volunteers to make telephone requests in all fundraising efforts. This conclusion is built on the evidence that Sophia College successfully raised donation for scholarships using the same method three years ago. The author further claims that Waymarsh University should be able to raise at least as much money each year as Sophia did provided that enrollment in Waymarsh University is more than twice that at Sophia College. Plausible at first sight, this argument actually suffers from several critical flaws, which undermine the vadility of the conclusion that the arguer maintains.



First of all, although telephone selected alumni for donation proves to be effective in raising money for scholarships of Sophia College, there is no guarantee that the same method will work just as well for all fundraising efforts of Waymarsh University. A specific case does not ensure general success, since reactions from contributors largely depend on who is going to donate and how the money raised will be used. Perhaps alumni of Sophia College actively donated because student volunteers reminded them of their own old school days and they were ready to help students just like themselves. Corporate managers, on the contrary, might consider telephone calls from students an informal method that shows little sincerity. It is highly possible that they are relunctant to subsidize projects irrelevant to their products. If Waymarsh University mainly depends on industry contributions for research grants, then formal contacts between professors and the company might prove to be more effective.



Moreover, the fact that enrollment at Waymarsh is more than twice that at Sophia can hardly suffice to demonstrate that Waymarsh should be able to raise at least as much money as Sophia did. Here the president unfairly assumes that graduates from Waymarsh University have nearly the same ability and tendency as those from Sophia College to make contributions. It is entirely possible that a larger portion of Waymarsh alumni lead an unsucessful career or mainly engage in wage earning professions, while most Sophia graduates own highly profitable businesses or are influential to raise money from other channels. Or perhaps Waymarsh alumni are just  less liable to respond to donation requests from their schools.  Without information concerning the ability and inclination of alumni from both schools, it is hard to tell whether Waymarsh can raise at least as much money as Sophia did.



Even if the ability and inclination of alumni in donating are nearly the same,  this does not lead to the easy conclusion that Waymarsh can repeat the success of Sophia and even continue to do so each year. The author fails to consider other alternatives that might explain the successful fundraising campaign. For one thing, the donation campaign might be a temporary measure taken by Sophia to contribute to its 100th aniversary. Therefore, alumni selected are not likely to donate the same sum of money for the years thereafter.  Sophia itself might not be able to maintain the success. For another,  the economic conditions might have deteriorated since the campaign three years before. As a result, alumni are not able to afford generous contributions this year. Unless the author can demonstrate that the telephone requests actually led to increased donation and that other factors which might influence contribution remain unchanged, it is too arbitrary to assert that Waymarsh can maintain the trend by using the same method.



In conclusion, it is imprudent for the vice president of Waymarsh University to suggest raising all funds using students to make telephone requests solely on the basis of the evidence presented. Before any final decisions are made about how to raise funds,  Waymarsh should carefully investigate the genuine cause of Sophia's success, and consider the possibility that Waymarsh can copy the method by weighing the different conditions of the two schools. Still analysis of current and future conditions should be made to ensure successful fundraising each year.


沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-24 20:27:00 | 显示全部楼层

我觉得好像该说这么多话,只是写不完。真是太罗嗦了。


是不是例子举得太细了?

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-24 20:54:00 | 显示全部楼层

Thanks!


现在看思路很混乱,第三点是写着写着才想起来的。其实是想说:


1.Sophia的成功不是由telephone requests引起的


2.即使是,Waymarsh也不能copy


AWA成绩到底有多重要?本来该从昨天开始模考,因为作文根本写不出还一直拖着。


地板
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-24 23:13:00 | 显示全部楼层

惨 托的作文只有5 本想有所长进 现在看不3就不错了


如果前面也很差的话就只能用GRE申了


我的¥2100和暑假啊

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-25 17:22:00 | 显示全部楼层

谢谢大家的支持鼓励和帮助!


感动ing...


我8月12号在鼎均考,大家一起加油啊!

6#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-25 22:02:00 | 显示全部楼层

呵呵,那边没人理我。我决定明天用秒表计时了,先感觉一下,10题一算时间根本没法掌握。


要是能把时间分一点给作文就好了,今天issue又没写完。


不知道机警该怎么看,要从几月的看起呀?讨论区有好多版,是怎么排的呢?是要看最近的那版吗?


强烈感谢!!


[此贴子已经被作者于2005-7-25 22:02:24编辑过]
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-26 15:05:00 | 显示全部楼层

多谢happyfish!


这个办法不错,今天issue只写了两个body时间就到了,至少该先写个结尾的。


issue没写完很影响心情,补完issue后都十点多了,一下子没情绪控制pace,结果不到12点又吃饭去了。


今天的情况是Q少5分钟多错1题,V多4分钟少错2题。初步的结论是做题慢有利于提高成绩。However, the statistics on which this conclusion is based are too vague to be informative.


明天继续努力...


[此贴子已经被作者于2005-7-26 15:06:07编辑过]
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-27 23:40:00 | 显示全部楼层

还想问下happyfish jj怎么把握pace的,看到jj以前的帖子,在考场上是什么感觉?我现在模考软件都装不上,快疯了。


AWA大家别被我迷惑了。650字显然是要超时的。这两天模考都上不了500字,issue还写不完。今天又发现写的内容超级烂,明天不想模作文了,把烂文修理一下,别让ETS阅卷的晕过去。


心情走低...

9#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-28 13:30:00 | 显示全部楼层
谢谢斑竹!我决心放弃那些模考软件,踏踏实实地做GWD,改作文。
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