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AI031 我的第一篇习作,恳请NN指正

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楼主
发表于 2005-7-3 20:27:00 | 显示全部楼层

AI031 我的第一篇习作,恳请NN指正

用论坛上下的练习软件,30分钟内完成。字数好像只有214。请牛牛指正


不胜感激


Some people may consider the financial gain as the most vital reason for them to select a career,while others may consider other factors such as the realiztion of their dream to become a CEO or the evaluation of their self-value.For me ,beside admitting that the financial gain is a necessarily means to live for myself and to support my family,I really regards my career of a proper filled to let me realize my  personal value that I can contribute the our society.


On the one hand,our attitude towards work will differenct for different goals.Consider that a man join into a CPA firm just to earn enough money to pay off the debt to bank of his 20 years loan for realestate.Because he is really dislike this kind of work ,he may omitte some audit findings in some case if the futhure investiage will keep him work till the midnight,or tell lie to company that he have work overtime for about 80 hours a week to earn extra income for working over time while he have not really done so much work and even do not have willing to work hard and long.What I want to say through this sample is that if everyone regard earning money as first consideration,they may ruin the companies quickly.

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-3 20:31:00 | 显示全部楼层

坏了,发现没粘全,少了两段。


用从论坛下的软件awasim如何保存练习的习作那?


再加上那两段,我的字数肯定能上300


真郁闷

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-4 13:48:00 | 显示全部楼层

谢谢这么快的回复和这么认真的批改


太感谢了


我现在就需要这些,否则自己瞎练肯定没戏。


在看了黄金80题中的约10个issue和10个argument以后开始写这第一篇,


范文再好,自己再30分钟内写的时候,什么好句子也想不出来,写的也特口语话。


呵呵


我会努力的


地板
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-4 16:40:00 | 显示全部楼层
thx
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