我的IBT作文经验以及对一篇练习作文的修改

作为一个年过30的很久没有学过英语的考生，考完GT,感觉在CD上获益匪浅，为了回报大家，我只敢贡献一点写作的经验。我在08年考的GMAT,写作5.5，在09年一月考的IBT,作文28。都没有用模板，作文的字数大概都在300字左右。我感觉GMAT的写作和IBT不一样，在此先谈IBT写作。1 IBT这种应试性写作在结构上考的是能否条理清晰的分析问题，陈述观点。所以对于文章的结构，最好用清晰的表达方式和连词来说明每一段之间的关系。文章的结构和逻辑关系> 词汇的运用能力。2 IBT对考生的词汇量和对于诸多社会现象、历史和科技发展背景知识有一定的要求。因为曾经是英语专业的学生，我的可用词汇量一直在6000，阅读词汇大概在8000-10000.背景知识，我觉得主要靠平时的积累，然后考前一个月看看新闻（中文），积累一些素材就可以。我觉得很多事例其实不用把细节记住，因为考官也不知道。所以能够自圆其说，哪怕胡乱编一个某个国家某个时期的历史事件都可以。这些美国阅卷人基本不知道世界大事，...。3 IBT我觉得要求文章观点明确表示Yes 或者No, 而不像GMAT通常要求对正反两方面说明，取一个折衷的观点。所以无论怎么论证，都要说自己对。而且要相信自己对。4 第一段是总起，最后一段要深入到下一个层次。所以即使没有内容上的变化，第一段的句子要简单，而最后一段可以用啰嗦的句型和比较formal的big word,。让人感觉你讨论了很多东西，说明了很多道理。
我从CD上看到Vincent 320的一篇希望大家修改的文章，用来做例子说明更详细一点我个人的看法。
From Vincent 320: 大学应不应该要求所有的学生都学习除了本国文化以外的文化？
As an university student, do you feel shame when someone talks about the culture of other country but you can respond nothing? Does that blow your confidence when your employers ask questions about other culture but you can’t answer? Do you doubt that you can handle your job completely, when you work in a joint venture company? I believe, every university students are aware of their knowledge about other culture after I asked all these questions above. As a vital factor, the knowledge of other culture is the key to build your confidence, to open the door of opportunities and to be an evitable tool for your work.
第一段V用了很多的问句，我相信中国很多写作的技巧书上，我们读小学中学的老师都给我们灌输修辞方法的运用，如排比，反问，都能增加作文得分。但是美国人不搞这一套。他们的原则是：简洁，逻辑清晰。所以我认为第一段如果我来写的话，就是：
I believe the university should require the students to learn about other cultures for the following reasons: the knowledge of other cultures can serve as the key to build up your confidence in daily communication with friends, to open the door of opportunities for personal development plan, and to be a great advantage in  career life.
Vincent 第二段如下：
At first, if you can communicate with your friend naturally about other culture, you could generate the confidence in your friend circle, that is,  your friend won’t look down upon you, and it can enhance the good relationship of you. We all know that having the same topic is very important for friends. Moreover, you can get more respect from your audience if you can give some information that they don’t know. Thus, your confidence will be stronger.
Vincent的第二段主要是讲道理，我建议应该加上一个个人的经历，比如可以说小学时候曾经由于了解阿拉伯人的握手礼很快和来学校交流的中东的小朋友成为好朋友。
At first, if you can communicate with your friend naturally with your understanding of their culture, you could generate the confidence in your good communication and make friends more easily. For example, when I was in the elementary school, I showed my respect to the children from Saudi Arabia in their traditional way, and soon became good friends. This experience makes me feel the importance of learning and respecting the other culture in a successful communication. In turn, your friend will appreciate to know of you, and it can enhance the good relationship. Moreover, a good communication with other culture can make you a good reputation in your friends, who are also willing to get some information that they don’t know from you. Thus, your confidence will be stronger with their appreciation and support.
Vincent的第三第四段如下：
You may get the offer of a new job when you can fluently answer the questions of other culture when you face the employers in job interview. You can be looked as a board range of knowledge people who is necessary for some big companies. Working in Microsoft or GE is everybody’s dream, isn’t it?
In the global village, the knowledge of other culture is an ability to cooperate with otherforeigner clients. If you know some native polite way to communicate, it must be helpful to your transactions. Since your clients feel you extremely respect to their culture. In this fierce competition market, it’s an advantage to your competitor.

Vincent的第三第四段和第二段的问题一样，就不多说了。除此以外，他的论点之间没有什么逻辑联系，从而很难构架为一篇严谨的立论文。

Vincent最后一段如下：
After read all of these reasons I’ve stated above. You must know the knowledge of other culture is necessary to make your dream come true. If you haven’t, don’t be frustrated. You just need to broaden your knowledge right now. I believe it’s not too late.
最后一段Vincent提出了一个新的观点： You must know the knowledge of other culture is necessary to make your dream come true. 但是没有说明这个新的观点是前面观点的深入，或者和前面的观点有什么必然的逻辑联系。所以我觉得是一个很弱的收尾。

以Vincent的文章为例，我只想说明词汇是重要的，但是更重要的是文章的逻辑结构和段落之间的关系。思想的深度和例证的充分比修辞重要。

P.S. 我在论坛上浏览了一下其他的文章，我还推荐大家看看这篇：

http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=68&ID=10663&page=2

TOEFL作文重点在结构，不是句子---抛鱼引砖贴 ：）
我的IBT阅读是30，写作28.但是口语和听力都只有24.作为在中国受英语教育的70后，我觉得我的听力和口语恐怕是提高不了了，也没有环境去短期提高口语听力，就没有复习。现在参加ibt考试的多数是80后了吧，我想如果大家的词汇提高一点，加强一点背景知识，写一篇构架严谨的文章就能完成写作部分的任务了。大家要多把精力放在听力和口语上了，一定能取得非常优秀的成绩。

2009-1-28

受教了，写得很好，很透彻的分析！

我第一次考ibt的作文就犯了很多wtysky提到的问题，所以因为作文偏低，不得不再考一次！

看了lz的分析，醍醐灌顶～～～