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AI016,请大侠们指点。谢谢!

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楼主
发表于 2005-12-21 11:24:00 | 只看该作者

AI016,请大侠们指点。谢谢!

hi,大家好,这是我写的一篇issue. 请大侠们指点。万分感谢!没有用模版,但是觉得我写的例子好奇怪阿,不知道老外看得懂吗?可以这样写吗?这样写有什么问题吗?请指教。

16. “Public buildings reveal much about the attitudes and values of the society that builds them. Today’s new schools, courthouses, airports, and libraries, for example, reflect the attitudes and values of today’s society.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


                

In our daily life, various things reveal much about the attitudes and values of the society such as the novels, media and the contents of people always talking. How about public buildings? Different people hold different opinions. As far as I am concerned, I believe that today’s public buildings reflect the attitudes and values of today’s society. The following reasons would support my position.

First, public building is the product of architect who lived in our society and whose thought could be influenced by the whole society. People talks, thinks differently according to the different education backgrounds, the situations of contemporary society. For example, in China, the styles of public buildings are distinctive in each dynasty. In Qing dynasty, the buildings style is grand and complicated. While in north Song dynasty, the building style is cabinet, delicate and romantic. Such contrasted style could be explained by the reason that the economic situation in Qing dynasty is stronger than in North Song dynasty. When the society owned wealth, it had the ability to pursue a kind of complicated and expensive style. So it is clearly that public buildings could show the values and attitudes of the society.

Second, public building, as the window of culture, is an important part of the society’s values. When a person visited a place, the first thing he or she looked is the public building such as airport, the highway or shopping mall. Each of buildings plays different function and also show the characteristic of this region. For instance, Most of buildings in New York are modernized and advanced. People could feel the convenient by using these sophisticated systems. At the same time, when you entered to Lijiang, an interesting place with old history, in China, you would be touched by the old style of this building which constructed by the ancient people of minority. Such kind of unique characteristic attract many people from the world to visit here. If you want to understand the cultures and attitudes of places, it is better to walk on them and get some inspirations from these public buildings.

To sum up, public buildings can reveal the attitudes and values of society in a certain degree. When we open history books which describe every history period, it is affirmed that almost each book introduced the style of building. From these detailed information, the historian could analyze the direction of society development and the characteristic of each different period. Due to the above mentioned, we can admit that one of way to reveal culture of societies is to research public building.


沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2005-12-21 11:26:00 | 只看该作者
不好意思,我写错题目了,是AI016,怎么改阿?
板凳
发表于 2005-12-21 16:36:00 | 只看该作者

In our daily life, various things reveal much about the attitudes and values of the society such as the novels, media and the contents of people always talking位置应该在things之后. How about public buildings? Different people hold different opinions. 这句话没有解释,否则就成废话了As far as I am concerned, I believe 这两个短语的意思一样重复了that today’s public buildings reflect the attitudes and values of today’s society. The following reasons would support my position.


>>


First, public building is the product of architect who lived in our society and whose thought could be influenced by the whole society. People talks, thinks differently according to the different education backgrounds, the situations of contemporary society.这一句话与前面的缺乏连贯,把architect 弄丢了。还有talks, thinks 之间用and,同理different education backgrounds, the situations of contemporary society。 For example, in LACE w:st="on">ChinaLACE>, the styles of public buildings are distinctive in each dynasty. In Qing dynasty, the buildings style is grand and complicated. While in north Song dynasty, the building style is cabinet, delicate and romantic. Such contrasted style could be explained by the reason that the economic situation in Qing dynasty is stronger than in North Song dynasty. When the society owned wealth, it had the ability to pursue a kind of complicated and expensive style. So it is clearly that public buildings could show the values and attitudes of the society.但这一段有个主要问题就是你的解释People talks, thinks differently according to the different education backgrounds, the situations of contemporary society,没有被后面的例子支撑。因为你说的是talks, thinks ,而后边没有提到,此外更没有different education backgrounds, the situations of contemporary society。所以缺乏连贯和逻辑


>>


Second, public building, as the window of culture, is an important part of the society’s values. When a person visited a place, the first thing he or she looked is the public building复数 such as airport, the highway or shopping mall. Each of buildings plays different function and also show 单数the characteristic of this region. For instance, Most of buildings in LACE w:st="on">New YorkLACE> are modernized and advanced. People could feel the convenient by using these sophisticated systems. At the same time, when you entered时态 to Lijiang, an interesting place with old history, in LACE w:st="on">ChinaLACE>, you would be touched by the old style of this building which constructed被动 by the ancient people of minority. Such kind of unique characteristic attract单数 many people from the world to visit here多余. If you want to understand the cultures and attitudes of places, it is better to walk on them and get some inspirations from these public buildings.完全没有作用这一段问题很严重,你没有怎么它怎么重要,只是说它们是the window of culture;并且没有逻辑,大家都看,那么它们就是重要地反映了社会价值吗



To sum up, public buildings can reveal the attitudes and values of society in a certain degree. When we open history books which describe every history period, it is affirmed that almost each book introduced the style of building. From these detailed information, the historian could analyze the direction of society development and the characteristic of each different period.这是理由,不应该放在这里 Due to the above mentioned, we can admit that one of way 复数to reveal culture of societies is to research public building.这句话又转移了文章主旨了。


个人观点,仅供参考。姐姐写得没有连贯和逻辑,想当然地写,很容易地忘了段落的主题句,和文章主旨。此外,基本的语法不能错。

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2005-12-21 19:43:00 | 只看该作者
哦,谢谢,好打击我阿。看来我还得好好练习。唉!年岁大了,写作文的水平更差了。
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