[求助]我的作文，欢迎拍砖（还有两个星期就要考了）

还有两个星期就要考了（3月10号），好心人帮忙看看我的作文吧，Pls free to comment.

TWE185, #59, 独立写作:
                

59 Some people are always in a hurry to go places and get things done. Other people prefer to take their time and live life at a slower pace. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
                

Nowadays, there is an issue concerned what is appropriate method to get things done. Depending on their distinct background and personal experiences, different people hold various views on it. Some support to get job done in a hurry, while others maintain to execute a task at a slower pace. As far as I am concerned, however, I endorse the former and against the latter. Two reasons, in following discussion, will be provided concrete evidence to support my view.         （78字）

First of all, in my opinion, is that time is a kind of scare resource, so we must spend it in doing something efficiently and promptly. For example, you are writing a proposal of a urgent project assigned by your boss, and you must finish this assignment tonight and present the proposal tomorrow morning in front of sever shareholder representatives. If you draft the proposal at a slower pace, you have to sacrifice your sleeping time to stay over night and to complete the assignment. Therefore, if you cannot get the job done quickly, you have to reallocate your other time to finish it. （104字）

Second of all, there is another factor that deserves some word here: if can hurry up to finish the job earlier, you can save the time to do other thing. For instance, I used to be assigned by my boss to go to Shangtou, a city in South China, to set up an exhibition to promote our company product. On the date before exhibition date, I finished setting up the booth, so I can use extra time to do some simply market survey. Such as, I was to look for some competitor brand in the hypermarket, to check the competitor price, and to check the market share of each competitor brand. During the exhibition period, I can take advantage of information that I gathered in 1st hand to negotiate with potential customer who visit our booth. （136字)

To sum up, due to the discussion mentioned above, which sometimes correlated with each other to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any single one of them, we can safely reach the conclusion-the more promptly you get your work done, the better benefit you will gain. （50字）

(total 368 words)

no feedback, so sad.....

好像ETS不大喜欢这样的模板，还不如多发展一个points,或多给点例子。并且第二段模板有错误。"second of all"也不好.

我来随便按照原文思路来改改。

Second of all, there is another factor that deserves some word here: if can hurry up to finish the job earlier, you can save the time to do other thing. For instance, I used to be assigned by my boss to go to Shangtou, a city in South China, to set up an exhibition to promote our company product. On the date before exhibition date, I finished setting up the booth, so I can use extra time to do some simply market survey. Such as, I was to look for some competitor brand in the hypermarket, to check the competitor price, and to check the market share of each competitor brand. During the exhibition period, I can take advantage of information that I gathered in 1st hand to negotiate with potential customer who visit our booth.

Besides, if job assigned can be done perfectly and earlier, time saved can be used to do something else more meaningful. For example, when I was on business travel in Shantou, a city in south China, to prepare for the exhibition of our company, I knew time there was very limited and thus should be made full use. I worked hard day and night and finally finished all the display work one day before the exhibition. So what was the extra time for? To get more useful information about the market I am always interested in. In the following day, I fulfilled myself with some simple market research. Such as, I went around some supermarkets to compare some competitive brands from other companies, including the prices, and the market shares. All these first hand information was proved to be very in time and useful when I negotiated with our potential customers who visited our booth. I have done more than assigned in this particular period of time and in return gained more than expected.