转几篇学校的essay 样本

不知道质量如何？

1.School of Management, Boston University）
Essay #1:

Imagine a straight line of infinite length, stretching out of sight in two directions. Assuming the line represents time, one can stand at any present moment and simultaneously look back at past experience and project one’s sight into the future.

The time line is an assumption that makes planning possible. Though it may someday be proven a false, or at least incomplete, model, it can be useful for both personal and professional planning. For this essay, I’ll limit myself to the later.

Where I stand
Looking back at what I’ve done and ahead to what I’d like to do, I can find great sense in beginning a graduate management program.

I have: a foundation of experience in the administration of educational and cultural institutes. Past jobs have ranged from directing a college admissions office to promoting an opera company, to managing a modern dance company, to running a day care center, to editing a weekly newspaper.

I have: an understanding of how groups function, what makes an organization healthy, and various ways people can organize to accomplish a goal. This has come from work experience as well as graduate study in organization theory and design at Harvard and at MIT.

I have: dreams and plans for a range of jobs and enterprises that extend ahead through my life.

From Here to There
Among many goals, I would like to direct a major cultural institution. I would also like to head a major educational institution, run a major foundation, and start and run my own cultural or educational organization-not necessarily all at the same time.

To achieve the above, there are skills and arenas of knowledge and experience that I’d like to have in my grasp. Some of these are presently out of reach, others are at my fingertips, but none are firmly in hand.

Financial management is, for me, perhaps the largest arena of knowledge in which I want, but do not have, agility. A course of study that refreshes my quantitative skills and teaches me principles of economics, fiscal planning, and other financial management skills would be very useful.

Another such arena includes management information systems and computer programming. I presently work on word processing equipment with comfort and joy. I hope, with time and guidance, to do the same with other systems at an even deeper level.

I would also like more personal contact with professional peers, particularly in the Boston and New England region. The public management program appears to offer that.

Some of my more obvious strengths and weaknesses should be evident from the above. I have confidence in myself. I have a great deal of curiosity. I generate ideas and develop interests, and can usually turn these into realistic, well-organized, and flexible plans. These I consider my strengths.

I can also stretch myself too thin, which can be a problem. Though I realize taking on the new demands some letting go of the old, I also believe experience increases capacity. There seems to me a need for more trained generalists to protect against overspecialization and fragmentation.
One great tool for that kind of protection is humor. My own sense of the comic can be quite dry and subtle, or broad and bizarre. Regardless of the form in which it spills out, it provides me perspective, balance, and spontaneity.

Arrivals
To accept two accomplishments and to label these significant runs counter to my way of assessing substance. I try to resist measuring my achievement by individual moments of arrival. Still, when pressed, I can come up with a few.

Performing professional theater at the age of 17 is an accomplishment that seems more significant now than it did at the time. Being appointed a college admissions director at 23 seems similarly significant. Both provided a sense of competence at a young age, and both provided peer experience with people older and more experienced than myself.

Doing well in a graduate program at Harvard feels notable in that the school was an environment very different from any in which I had worked before. The program became a test of adaptability as well as intellect. Other accomplishments might include a few backpacking ventures taken in severe conditions, some of which became life threatening. These provided dramatic tests of my reserves, and gave me confidence in my capacity for survival.

Less dramatic, and not quite finished, is a quilting project that I have worked on for more than six years. I have just completed the top sheet, a multi-pieced pattern in fabric. Still ahead is the quilting process itself, stitching the top sheet to a sturdy backing, with a layer of batting between the two. When done, the quilt takes on an identity far greater than the sum of its many parts.

The work on this piece has been a teacher of patience and harmony. The quilt, with its assortment of shapes and fabric, can serve as a model for the organization for one’ life and the people and activities in it.

Now, imagine a fine thread of infinite length weaving in and out of all those pieces.

Critique

Admissions officers review several hundreds or thousands of applications each year. Due to this high volume, any given applicant should formulate a creative approach in composing the essay to attract attention to its quality and content. Unfortunately, many applicants write essays that are similar to a detailed resume or a cover letter. This not only discourages a thorough review but also eliminates the opportunity for the individual to express his or her own uniqueness. The admission officers are also usually interested in how an applicant responds to a specific question, rather than to a general statement.

This essay creatively suggests the applicant’s general outlook on his life, what he hopes to achieve, and how he will do it. He does not go into great detail about any of these issues but allows what he does say to have a powerful impact. Reading this essay gives the evaluator the opportunity to get to know the values as well as interests and accomplishments the candidate has. This is particularly helpful when applying to a school that does not have evaluative interviews as part of the application process.

2.Haas School of Business, University of California-Berkeley

Question #1: what seminal influences, broadly defined, have especially contributed to your personal development? What correlation, if any, has your personal development to your professional goals? In your response to this question, please do not discuss the influence of members of your immediate family, athletic endeavors, or professional experiences.

Essay #1:

Bangkok, Vientiane, Malaysia, Singapore, Tokyo, Washington D.C., Manhattan, Boston, Camden, and San Francisco are the places where I have grown up. My father was a diplomat, my mother a teacher, and I am the youngest of four children. Together, my family moved every two or three years to a new city. Growing up was an adventure: as children, my brothers, sister, and I did not choose to move so frequently, but we became adjust to unfamiliar customs, even speak foreign languages.

The diverse cultural experiences that are part of my childhood have shaped the way I think about the world and my purpose in it. Living abroad cultivated my curiosity in politics and international relations, and moving frequently developed my interpersonal skills and created a strong personal motivation to make the best of a new situation.

Living abroad and moving frequently influenced who I am today, yet they are facts about my life that I have had little control over. When I think about who I am today, I focus on the choices I have made, the actions I have taken, and the guidance I have received from relatives and friends through various struggles. One choice I made stands out as an important influence because it resulted in challenges that stretched me in new directions and dramatically changed my perspective.

Following High School graduation, I worked as a roustabout out on an offshore oilrig in the Gulf of Mexico, 125 miles off the coast of Louisiana. For graduation, my family had pitched in for a round-trip plane ticket to Europe. I had been preparing for a trip across the continent when my oldest brother called about a job opportunity on an oilrig. I opted for the job because it was both an adventure and an opportunity to earn a lot of money for college (my savings amounted to one year at Harvard).

Within a week I was on a helicopter heading for Block 352, an oil field leased from the government by Chevron. I had several lasting impressions of the experience. The first is primarily sensory as I recall the physical conditions under which we lived and worked. The incessant noise of power generators and welding machines hummed in our ears day and night. Every species of dirt and grime thrived on the rig. The platform was characterized by its oppressive heat, magnified by the flames from the acetylene torches and welding rods and by the exhaust from the welding machines. The only activity we looked forward to was mealtime in an air-conditioned bunkhouse.

The work was dangerous, and if it were not for luck and the other hands who kept a close eye on me, I certainly would have been injured. That summer seven people died on Block 352, four in a helicopter accidents, two in a crane accident; the seventh was a close friend of mine. At twenty-one, Eric was the closest person to my age. When I first started, he and I worked closely together and he explained everything he knew about work on the rig. Eric was related in one way or another to many of the people in our crew, and as Eric’s friend, I became one of the clan. Most of the elder clans looked out for me as they did for Eric.

One day Eric was hurrying around a corner when he tripped on the extra slack of his torch line and he fell through a hole he had just cut in the deck. He fell 200 plus feet, hit the structure before landing, and drowned, taken swiftly under either by the current or the barracuda that circle below waiting for kitchen trash.

The lawyers and the search party came and went, and work began as usual the next morning. I was struck by two reactions to Eric’s death. The first was the other hands barely spoke of it. It was as though the danger of the job was something they had all accepted and put behind them so they could carry on. I will never know if I could have helped Eric if I were there, but I still wonder why it wasn’t me. The other response was an unusual step taken by the foreman that morning: someone still needed to descend through the hole that Eric had fallen through and climb out to the very end of the structure to attach a cable. Without a word, our foreman joined us, climbed through the hole, attached the cable, and was back before we realized the spell was broken. His action made me realize that to earn respect as a leader, never ask another person to attempt what you might not try yourself.

Another lasting impression I have of work on the rig, in direct contrast to the harsh conditions, is the strong personal relationships that made the experience memorable. The men I worked with from 5:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. were an extraordinary crew, all Cajuns from southern Louisiana, all hard working, all part of a team. On my first day, one of the hands later told me, they thought I was an engineer because I came dressed with new Chevron hard-hat, clean Levi’s, and a clean T-shirt. Far from an engineer, I was worse than a ‘worm’ (someone new on the rig) because I had no training. As a young kid from Maine who did not know how to cut, weld, fit, grind, or stack steel pipe, I had a lot of ground to cover. The interests that had been a strong part of my identity in high school: student athlete, leader, etc. were suddenly irrelevant. Where I had come from and where I was going at the end of the summer had no bearing in the context of working offshore. All that mattered was what I could accomplish that summer. The way to join this crew was straightforward: work hard, learn quickly, and interact during mealtime.

Initially I was a “rigger,” someone who supports welders by hauling steel and creating safe, makeshift platforms for welders to stand on as they weld. Early in the summer I asked our foreman, Henry Calais, if I could learn to weld. I did not know about he months of training it takes to become a certified pipe welder, but Henry was kind and offered instead to have me work with Charlie Reitenger as his assistant. Charlie was the crew’s “fitter” and, after Henry, was the most experienced person on the platform. A fitter measures and cuts pipe to length so that when the ends of two sections meet, they are adjacent, plumb, and square.

Charlie never wore a shirt, just a jeans jacked with cut-off sleeves. Charlie was an intense man with a subtle sense of humor; on the morning of our first day working together, immediately after a healthy breakfast (at an unhealthy 5:00 a.m.) Charlie opened his first can of Skoal Long cut, pinched a lip full of tobacco, and then offered me a can. We were hanging mid-air, about 200 feet above the water, and descending rapidly toward the workboat below as the crane operator lowered us. I smiled declining: “Thanks, no, maybe after a second cup of coffee.” This exchange became a morning routine with us.

Charlie and I did not start off with a lot in common. I was not sure how to create a common ground between us, but I began by showing interest in what he had to teach me. For the first week I hauled steel all over the platform for Charlie to measure and cut. Over time Charlie taught me everything there is to know about cutting and fitting pipe, and I, in turn, taught him some of the basic concepts of trigonometry. I was less successful with physics. One day I was trying to calculate how high we were above the water by dropping a welding rod and counting how many seconds it took to hit the water. For a moment Charlie thought I was an idiot. He argued that my methodology was flawed because a heavier object would fall faster.

I tried to explain that gravity exerts the same force on all objects, but as our discussion progressed other hands took an interest, and Charlie prevailed by the sheer weight of popular opinion. Galileo would have been empathetic; we eventually conducted an experiment from the heliport, which is the highest level on the rig. We dropped several objects of varying mass before the debate was finally resolved and a basic law of physics restored. It was quite a revelation, and I was surprised by how it consumed the conversation that evening, interrupting the usual ribald dinner talk.

The summer spent offshore was unique preparation for college and for life. I still have not taken a summer off to travel in Europe, but I have never regretted passing up that opportunity to work on the oilrig. The experience exposed me to the human drama of a working class that I had not had contact with. The extreme working conditions ad contact with a much older group of peers accelerated a period of growth and maturity for me. Working on the rig gave me an opportunity to reexamine what I wanted to accomplish in college and who I wanted to become. When the summer was over I felt like a completely changed person. In the helicopter heading back to Morgan City, Louisiana, I realized how fortunate I was to have the opportunity to go to college.

3.Harvard Business School

Question # 1: Discuss a change you would make in your work environment and how you would implement that change.

Essay # 1:

The Gillette Personal Care Division is in financial difficulty having severely missed its profit objectives in the last half of 1989. The Division responded to its profitability problems by giving the sales force a more aggressive sales quota. To control escalating costs, the corporate Controller took over P & L responsibility from the divisional marketing department.

I feel the above divisional and corporate responses to raising profitability were ill-considered and create new problems. First, the way in which a Sales Representative will respond to an aggressive new sales quota can, ironically, exacerbate the profitability problem. To achieve the aggressive new sales quota, the sales force will push high-volume brands (i.e. White Rain) that contribute little to profit. This short-term volume increase comes at the expense of the field’s promoting and building smaller, high margin brands.

Second, the Controller cut out advertising and field discretionary funds, showing his insensitivity to market considerations and trade issues; an immediate spike in profits comes at the expense of future consumer pickup.

The change I propose to make is to make the field more responsible for Divisional profitability. This can be done by giving the sales Reps new Business Development Funds and more profit “accountability.” With the funds, the Reps would be better able to respond to opportunities to develop and build the brands.

However, “accountability” would present implementation problems. How do you define and enforce accountability? The field cannot control many of the variables that impact on profitability: production cost, advertising commitments, prices increases, and the size of trade allowances. Nor can the field break out different regions on a P & L basis. Because developing and maintaining some accounts will be more expensive than others. It might cost more to develop more promising markets where P & G, for example, is also trying to make inroads.

The best solution for field profit accountability is a dual quota system: by sales and by brand. A brand quota would force the Rep to promote a more profitable mix of product regardless of whether he understood the profitability concerns. With the Business Development Fund, he would be able to build the profitable brands emphasized in the new brand quota.

These funds would encourage the Rep to be much more entrepreneurial. The Rep could design trade push and consumer pull programs that best suit his territory. Sales Planning would represent the interests of the sales force in determining fair brand quotas with the marketing department. Ultimately, this change would help balance Divisional and corporate needs. With the Business Development funds, Reps would better be able to respond to local opportunities. With brand quotas, Corporate could better control product profit mix.

The downside is that the trade will come to expect these additional allowances and give little incremental promotional support. Further, career Reps might not adapt well to the new entrepreneurial demands and may develop ineffective programs. While the immediate solution would be to give the Business Development funds to the Reps who could use the funds most effectively, this would create resentment. The longer-term solution is to recruit and build a sales force of entrepreneurial Reps who could run their own “franchises.”

Question #2: Describe your avocations and hobbies.

Essay #2:

My most passionate nonacademic pursuit is athletics. I have learned invaluable lessons through playing on the Harvard Varsity Water-polo and Squash teams. As goalie in the Water-polo team, I learned the importance of teamwork. During a fast-paced game, a goalie must be able to quickly identify potential problems and solve them in an effective manner. Collective responsibility is integral to teamwork. One cannot lay the blame on another player without jeopardizing team unity.
Squash taught me that progress could only be achieved through diligence and patience. Hitting a small black ball thousands of times for hundreds of hours in a small room can be perceived as a meaningless pursuit-or a disciplined process of developing precision and control. There are no shortcuts to improvement in the game of squash.

I have found these valuable lessons of teamwork and discipline to be easily transferable to other areas. Working with others in a competitive and tense environment can only be successfully achieved through proper teamwork. The discipline that I developed on the squash court has (similarly) enabled me to focus in other pursuit with equal determination.

Question #3: Describe your most substantial accomplishments, and explain why you view them as such.

1). Last spring I exported nearly $ 100,000 worth of exercise equipment to Japan. This shipment saved my company more than $ 250,000, due to the price discrepancies between the United States and Japan. I was solely responsible for selecting the equipment, negotiating the price, arranging the insurance, and packing and shipping the equipment to Japan. The first step of the process of selecting the equipment and the company involved inspecting manufacturing facilities based in California, Maryland, Texas, Vermont, and Colorado. I researched the legitimacy of the companies by calling their previous clients, checking credit records, and calling the Better Business Bureau. After exporting the equipment to Japan, I flew to Japan to facilitate the import process. This involved meeting with Japanese customs, as well as assisting in the domestic transportation and installation of the equipment.

I consider this a major accomplishment for three reasons. Firstly, I was solely responsible for the entire project. Secondly, it was a complicated process that involved many unrelated details. Finally, and not least of all, the fact that it was successful also contributes to my sense of pride.

2). When the Japanese company opened its third health club in Japan in July, 1988, it was a great sense of personal satisfaction. Two summers ago, I participated in the planning and design of this club. I saw many of my substantive recommendations implemented, including the installation of a racquetball court system that has movable glass walls to allow squash, racquetball, basketball, and volleyball to be played on the same court. My idea more effectively utilizes very limited and costly space and also provides greater recreational variety for the users. I have previously discussed my export deal that provided more than half of the equipment for the club, which was another source of personal satisfaction. In addition to helping design the club, I was actively involved in sales and marketing. I also conducted club tours for prospective members, and designed a new marketing strategy targeting foreigner’s living in the area. My combined efforts resulted in more than 150 new members.

These accomplishments demonstrate my ability to work successfully in a large group setting as well as in an entirely different language and culture. In addition to the satisfaction of seeing my design recommendations actually implemented, I also enjoyed the challenges of sales and marketing.

3). I am currently co-teaching a Harvard college freshman seminar focusing on the economic development of Japan with Professor X. as a teacher, I had to design a reading list that would provide sufficient information without overwhelming the freshmen who have had no background on the topic. A reading list has to have an overall argument with weekly topics to provide specific examples. Teaching in a seminar format presents a tremendous intellectual challenge of stimulating and guiding discussion. I try to give only directive or simulative comments rather than to lecture. In this manner students will ask questions and I will try to steer the discussion so that the student is able to answer his or her own question.

Teaching the seminar represents the cumulative total of my academic career. My studies have largely revolved around Japanese economics and Japanese history. In addition, my practical experience of working in a Japanese company in Japan complements my academic understanding and has further enhanced my abilities as a teacher

4.Stanford Business School

Question #1: Tell us about those influences that have significantly shaped who you are today.

Essay #1:

I am a descendant of a long line of Quaker business people. My family, the Xs, have been Quaker since 1630. The common punch line about this group, at gathering of Friends, is that Quaker business people set out to do good and ended up doing very well. I am just beginning to emerge as a Quaker in business.

Relating to background about my Quaker heritage should help to illustrate how values of the Religious Society of Friends (the official name of “Quakers”) have shaped my sense of who I am. Quakers have particular ethics that I try to develop in myself and live out. Quakers believe that there is a god in every person-they often call it the “inner Light”-and that all people, regardless of rank and position, should be treated with dignity and integrity. This vision has helped me to see the potential in other people, even those who may be difficult to work with. It has also helped me to relate comfortably to people of every rank; in my current job, I enjoy friendships with everyone from secretaries to the confidence, especially in those situations where intuition must complement facts and objective measures in making decisions.

This faith in Inner Light has many other implications, of course, but two of the most important ones involve how group decisions should be made, and the equality of women.

As a way of doing business, Quakers believe in consensus decision-making; in fact, they don’t believe in hiring or paying ministers. All administration for Quakers Meeting is done by voluntary committees. From participating in consensus decision-making, I have learned to work with diverse groups of people, to negotiate between individual agendas, and to build effective teamwork between people. Consensus decision-making gives everyone a chance to contribute, and helps all members of the group to understand and articulate both the problem and the solution.

Because of the Quaker belief that all people possess an Inner Light, they have traditionally believed in the full equality of men and women. In fact Quakers held separate business meetings for men and women until about 50 years ago, because it was felt that other wise women would be overshadowed by the men. This separation allowed Quaker women to develop leadership skills in speaking and administration. Strong Quaker women like Lucretia Mott, a leader in the movement to abolish slavery, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, a leader among the suffragettes, were products of this culture.

Several other characteristic Quaker beliefs are placing a high value on simplicity, and on speaking and living the truth. For example, Quakers refuse to swear to anything, even at a trial or for a marriage license, because it implies that at other times one might not tell the truth. Being practical and “grounded” are Quaker values that discourage otherworldly or naïve thinking. As a general rule, Quakers don’t proselytize or even talk very much about their religion. They believe that their lives should speak of their convictions.

Quaker values can interact with business priorities in many ways, mostly positive, but some potentially negative as well. For example, because Quakers didn’t limit their business contacts to the highest social echelon, they found opportunities for more customers and a wider circle of business associates. As Quaker women developed leadership skills, their ingenuity contributed to the success of Quaker businesses. Quaker businesses put a high value on providing products that truly add value for consumers, rather than devising ways to trick them into buying something. In the days before Consumer Reports, people saw many advantages to doing business with Quakers, because it was widely known that they wouldn’t cheat you. Since Quakers were known to try to seek the truth regardless of the cost to themselves or whether the news was welcome, their word was trusted. Of course, being honest didn’t prevent Quakers from being shrewd business people.

But although Quakers tend to be highly ethical, they can also be somewhat naïve. Consensus decision-making can be far too slow and unwieldy for some decisions, and it runs a risk that people will feel coerced by the groups into settling for less than they want. Rather than making everyone responsible, it can end up making no one responsible. Even people with an Inner Light can behave badly. “Speaking truth to power,” to use the common catch-phrase for Quakers, can either increase long-run credibility or can be a cover for venting harsh feelings at inappropriate times.

My mother has told me that she married my father partially because he had been raised Quaker and was comfortable with strong, independent women. During my senior year at college, I was disheartened to find that many men of my own age found me intimidating. It was also a time when my mother was diagnosed with serious and potentially life-threatening breast cancer. Now I’m happily married, and my mother has at least survived the chemotherapy, but I still keep and reread a letter I received from my father that year about the strong women in my family. Here’s an excerpt.

“Let’s start with this generalization: highly articulate, handsome, intelligent women are not terribly rare. No doubt you yourself have many friends that would easily fit such categorization. But if you add two further adjectival phrases, then such women are rare indeed. Namely, passionate commitment and courageous. (I’m willing to concede that these may even be redundant…they, in your case, certainly go together). Obviously these same characteristics are very rare in men too.

“The problem arises primarily for women. These characteristics scare the bejabbers out of others…they may be admired by some, vilified by others, and wholly misunderstood by the majority. But even those that admire them generally want to do it at a safe distance. Let’s face it-sparks are given off by such people. The prudent man usually decides that the warmth and excitement isn’t worth the high risk of being consumed in a conflagration set off by so many sparks.

“You are the fourth in line of such women”.

I am enclosing a photocopy of this letter with application (Attachment I) because it illuminates the way Quakers like my father can support and encourage women in leadership. Also, it provides some insight into my family.

Another important influence is my new husband, Timothy. We were married July 6 of this year. Tim is the managing editor of the Journal of Economic Perspectives, which is based at Stanford. My husband’s background in economics informs and counterbalances my perspectives.
My career has forced me to balance the idealistic qualities of Quakerism with real-life experience, where the rubber meets the road. My first job out of college was as editor and then executive director for a nonprofit foundation called Fellowship in Prayer (FIP), whose purpose was to “encourage the practice of prayer or meditation among people of all faiths.” This nonprofit was a rare one; it actually had an endowment that grew from $ 2.7 million to $ 3.5 million during my three-year tenure. My job was to organize the programs and facilities from complete chaos to something more effective and methodical. I managed the budgets so that operating expenditures came only from the interest on the endowment, not from the capital. I also learned some lessons that went well beyond business. I was sexually harassed by two members of the Board of Trustees, and had to face the problem of other Board members stealing from the endowment.

Perhaps my biggest lesson from Fellowship in Prayer was that systems-the way information is transferred, decisions are made and reporting relationships defined-largely determined the effectiveness of the organization. When I started working there, the organization had no functioning systems in place, and no objectives or strategies beyond the general mission statement quoted a moment ago. I had previously looked on things like standard operating procedures and methods of reporting and accountability as necessary evils. But I found that its’ not nearly enough to have an operating budget and some staff. An organization also needs some definite goals, strategies for achieving them, and ways of measuring success. While working at FIP, I came to understand that structure is enabling: without it, people spend too much time wondering what they are supposed to be doing or reinventing the wheel. Now I appreciate the need to organize structures, and the significance when such systems work well.

My position as executive director at FIP forced me to learn a wide range of business skills and responsibilities. I wrote the annual budget and the annual report and oversaw expenditures. I bought a $ 300,000 property for headquarters of the foundation (previously, it had rented space), arranged for $ 20,000 of structural repairs and another $ 20,000 for redecorating and furnishing, and moved the office. I edited the bimonthly magazine for nine months, until I became executive director. I supervised other staff. I tried to create a counterbalance to the power of the Board of Trustees, some of whom had been stealing from the foundation, by recruiting a lawyer with financial expertise to the Board. I also formed an advisory board composed of Christians, Jews, Baha is, Buddhists, a Mohawk Chief, and others to improve the programs and create a balance of power with the Board of Trustees. Also, this group helped in generating ideas for programs, like lectures and retreats.

I also worked on developing my own speaking and writing skills; I gave lectures, workshops, and retreats myself. I have continued to pursue my interest in designing programs and giving talks that help people deepen their spirituality and fulfill their potential. During the past few years, for example, I have led retreats at the Quaker Center in Ben Lomond, California, and for Faith at Work, a national ecumenical group with which I continue to do volunteer work. With my application, I have enclosed some flyers publicizing these retreats (attachment II). I wrote the ones for Quaker Center.

5.Michigan Business School

Question #1: During your years of study in the Michigan MBA program, you will be part of a diverse multicultural, multi-ethnic community within both the Business School and the larger University. What rewards and challenges do you anticipate in this campus environment, and how do you expect this experience to prepare you for a culturally diverse business world?

Essay #1:

High return on investment…
One quality I have always admired is independent thinking. I always strive to be different and befriend those who share the same goals. I see conformity as a moral deficiency. “Group think” is the enemy of creativity and innovation. In contrast, diversity in thought is the key to any successful endeavor. I want to be a part of creative concepts proposed from a wide array of sources. These creative concepts can only be reached by assembling individuals with discordant views and from varying backgrounds. For this reason, I find the growing diversity of Michigan’s student body to be one of its greatest selling points. I feel that understanding a wide range of views, opinions, and judgments on a variety of subject matter broadens the base of experience from which effective solutions may be derived. Therefore, learning, sharing, and growing within the context of diverse individuals is an avenue for developing a successful manager.

While there will be rewards from this melting pot, there is always the potential for difficulty when assembling people with divergent views and from different cultures. As a member of an international exchange program, in both training and travel, I was able to witness the glaring problems of cultural bias, prejudice, and close-mindedness. One thing I learned through this experience is that nobody is above prejudice of some kind, myself included. Everyone has some innate sense that they are superior to other individuals in some manner. When people feel superior because of their intellect, we call them arrogant. When people feel superior because of their nationality or culture, we call them elitists. And when people feel superior because of their race, better understand ourselves and develop an understanding of our own prejudices this will be the challenge facing every student in the melting pot. For some this challenge will be great and for some it may be overcome easily, but in either case I feel that the rewards from integration of people and ideas provide a great return on the time and energy invested to make it so.

Beyond the hallowed halls…
I expect my time at Michigan to enhance my understanding and appreciation of the benefits of mixing ideas and opinions among people from different backgrounds. The business community I will enter is a global-, multinational-, multicultural-based body. Any business manager willing to shun certain peoples or ideals because they are foreign will be injuring his company. And yet, I have every reason to believe that I will inevitably encounter these types of individuals.

While universities are taking the lead in cultural and ethnic diversification, the business world is somewhat behind. The reasons for this are twofold: those people who are fearful of new ideas tend to fight diversity, while those individuals in favor of diversity often find developing it a daunting task. For this reason, many companies concede to the status quo, to the old way of doing business. Yet there are firms willing to shift paradigms of current thinking. These are the companies that will prosper in the future. The company that takes the initiative to broader its personnel base will find hat any sort-term expenses it may incur in this diversification process are easily offset by the long-term benefits of having a dynamic, progressive, and enterprising staff. This is the type of firm I would like to associate with. Just as I expect to do at Michigan, I hope in the business company to be an active part of the melting pot of ideas, developing creative concepts, and forging new paths by engaging divergent viewpoints.

Critique:

Originality, insight, and graceful writing immediately capture the reader of this essay. Tackling the topic directly and substantively, the author effectively relates the subject to past personal experiences and future career aspirations. The writer avoids the platitudes that slide all too easily into application essays. With admirable honesty, he acknowledges the challenges posed by a multicultural environment, admits the prejudices he has felt, and identifies the personals rewards of being part of the Michigan community.

The essay goes beyond any superficial treatment of the issue and reveals how the author thinks. Indeed, the independent thinking admired by the writer emerges from the piece. The reader finds clear evidence of the analytical reasoning skills so critical to success and leadership in management. Finally, the writing style, characterized by flowing, balance prose and apt word choice, is eloquent. The essay convinces the reader that this is someone whose thinking and ability to convey thoughts will enrich the learning process in and out of the classroom.

Essay #1:（what is your most significant achievement and why you view as such）

My most significant professional achievement was the successful startup of a petrochemical plant in Spain. I was the chief process engineer leading a team of three engineers from Raytheon. Ertisa was the Spanish client. The plant was an existing cumene plant that had been redesigned for increased capacity and to use Raytheon's new cumene technology. This was a $15 million project.

   As the chief process engineer I was to ensure the successful startup of the plant. I had to get my startup team and Ertisa's team around the same table so that they would work in the same direction, using the same language. This required a good deal of diplomacy. The responsibility of ensuring a successful startup was entirely mine. The time-line for a startup is extremely tight. Keeping a startup on schedule is the most stressful aspect of the job. A delay of one day translates to a production loss worth thousands of dollars.

   I was nervous because this was my first supervisory role for an extremely important and high profiled project. The startup was high profiled, as it was only the second plant in the world that had been designed to use Raytheon's new zeolite cumene technology. My problem solving and diplomacy skills as a supervisor were soon put to test during the early stages of the startup. I was informed by Ertisa that the circulation fluid that was being used to dry the catalyst was taking too long to heat. My startup team and I looked into the problem and found out that a heat exchanger used to heat the circulation fluid was incorrectly sized. The heat exchanger was far too small for the service. Based on the existing exchanger, it would take the catalyst three additional days to dry. I had two options, to begin pointing fingers at people who designed this heat exchanger or to come up with a workaround for this problem. I opted for the later. I started out by communicating the problem to my supervisors in America. Then I sat down with my startup team and discussed ways that we could come up with a workaround. I could not tell Ertisa the truth at this point because I didn't want Ertisa to lose confidence in Raytheon's engineering ability. Both Raytheon's and my startup team's credibility was at stake. Switching to relatively new, untested technology is always a risky proposition. This unit was a major contributor to refinery profitability for Ertisa. I would ultimately tell Ertisa the real cause of the problem, but needed to buy some time while we looked for workarounds. Within six hours of finding out the heat exchanger problem, my group came up with a workaround. We recommended using another exchanger from the plant that was not being used during the initial catalyst dryout stage. Ertisa was concerned when I broke the news to them. After hesitantly implementing the workaround, successfully drying the catalyst and avoiding a major delay, Ertisa was happy. From thereon there were no significant surprises.

    Six weeks later when Ertisa finally accepted the plants performance guarantees, I knew I had accomplished something. I was successful in effectively communicating with multiple people in a hostile client environment, leading under tense circumstances, making aggressive decisions, and in making things happen. I also learned to see the problems I was solving in the context of the entire chemical plant rather than as isolated problems. Most importantly, I learned to delegate and manage my time effectively.

Critique:

This writer is fortunate to have had a unique and notable achievement to highlight. But although the experience was undeniably exciting, he or she needs to work harder conveying something of this excitement to the general reader, most obviously by making the experience more digestible to readers who do not necessarily know about or want to get into the details of a heat exchanger in a petrochemical plant. There is an overabundance of technical details in this essay, particularly in the long, dense third paragraph, which should be divided and restructured.

Given the rather momentous nature of the applicant's accomplishment, it would be possible to create a more compelling narrative. From the first sentence of the essay, the reader begins to lose interest, due to the weak, automatic reiteration of the essay question. The writer's startup of a plant required resourcefulness and creativity - and these qualities would also, ideally, be reflected in the way he or she decided to tell about the experience.

really thanks