[推荐]Essay tips:Ten Do's and Don'ts for Your Application Essay

chipmunk · 发表于 2003-8-22 06:47:00

Ten Do's and Don'ts for Your Application Essay (From Accepted.com)

The Do's

Unite your essay and give it direction with a theme or thesis. The thesis is the main point you want to communicate. Make sure it answers the question.

Before you begin writing, choose what you want to discuss and the order in which you want to discuss it.

Use concrete examples from your life experience to support your thesis and distinguish yourself from other applicants.

Write about what interests you, excites you. That's what the admissions staff wants to read.

Start your essay with an attention-grabbing lead--an anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description of a scene.

End your essay with a conclusion that refers back to the lead and restates your thesis.

Revise your essay at least three times.

In addition to your editing, ask someone else to critique your personal statement for you.

Proofread your personal statement by reading it out loud or reading it into a tape recorder and playing back the tape.

Write clearly, succinctly.

The Don'ts

Don't include information that doesn't support your thesis.

Don't start your essay with "I was born in...," or "My parents came from..."

Don't write an autobiography, itinerary, or résumé in prose.

Don't try to be a clown (but gentle humor is OK).

Don't be afraid to start over if the essay just isn't working or doesn't answer the question.

Don't try to impress your reader with your vocabulary.

Don't rely exclusively on your computer to check your spelling.

Don't provide a collection of generic statements and platitudes.

Don't give mealy-mouthed, weak excuses for your GPA or test scores.

Don't make things up.

chipmunk · 发表于 2003-8-22 06:47:00

1.  Express yourself in positive language. Say what is, not what is not.

2.  Use transitions between paragraphs. Transitions tie one paragraph to the next.

A transition can be a word, like later, furthermore, additionally, or moreover; a phrase like After this incident...; or an entire sentence.
If you are writing about Topic A and now want to discuss Topic B, you can begin the new paragraph with a transition such as "Like (or unlike) Topic A, Topic B..."
3.  Vary your sentence structure. It's boring to see subject, verb, object all the time. Mix simple, complex, and compound sentences.

4.  Understand the words you write. You write to communicate, not to impress the admissions staff with your vocabulary. When you choose a word that means something other than what you intend, you neither communicate nor impress. You do convey the wrong message or convince the admissions officer that you are inarticulate.

5.  Look up synonyms in a thesaurus when you use the same word repeatedly. After the DELETE key, the thesaurus is your best friend. As long as you follow Tip 4, using one will make your writing more interesting.

6.  Be succinct. Compare:

During my sophomore and junior years, there was significant development of my maturity and markedly improved self-discipline towards school work.
During my sophomore and junior years, I matured and my self-discipline improved tremendously.
The first example takes many more words to give the same information. The admissions officers are swamped; they do not want to spend more time than necessary reading your essay. Say what you have to say in as few words as possible. Tips 7, 8, and 9 will help you to implement this suggestion.

7.  Make every word count. Do not repeat yourself. Each sentence and every word should state something new.

8.  Avoid qualifiers such as rather, quite, somewhat, probably, possibly, etc.

You might improve your writing somewhat if you sometimes try to follow this suggestion.
The example contains nonsense. Deleting unnecessary qualifiers will strengthen your writing 1000%. Equivocating reveals a lack of confidence. If you do not believe what you write, why should the admissions officer?

9.  Use the active voice. Compare:

The application was sent by the student. (Passive voice)
The student sent the application. (Active voice)
They both communicate the same information. The active voice, however, is more concise; it specifies who is performing the action and what is the object. The passive voice is wordier and frequently less clear.

10.  Read and reread Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White. Containing basic rules of grammar, punctuation, composition, and style, this indispensable classic is available in paperback and is only eighty-five pages long.

chipmunk · 发表于 2003-8-22 06:48:00

Clear Admit's 10 General Essay Tips for the January deadlines

1.  Begin writing essays now.  MBA application essays take a lot of time...especially essay writing and rewriting. Don't wait until late December to begin writing the first draft of your essays. Begin now. This advice also applies to people who have already submitted applications for the first deadlines.  If you don't plan, you will find yourself editing essays on New Years Day when you would rather be recovering from your New Years Eve events.

2.  Set weekly goals and consider taking some time off from work to write essays.  This way you will be ready in time for early January deadlines.

3.

repare to draft/edit your essays several times for each school. You just won't be able to write the perfect essay in one sitting.  Write a draft....wait a few days..and then read it again.  You will find that you will revise better if you take a few days off between drafts.

4.  Write your career goals essay first. This is the most important essay and it will give you ideas for writing the other essays. You should also give a draft copy to your recommenders so that they can reinforce your market postioning in their letter.

5.  Make sure that you actually answer the entire question! You would be amazed at how many people don't do this. An easy way to avoid this is to write the essay question at the top of the page, outline your essay answer, and make sure that each part of the essay question will be addressed in your outline.

6.  Be careful about cutting and pasting essays from one school to another.  I know this is tempting. However, you run the risk of submitting an essay that is clearly aimed for a different school.  You might want to force yourself to outline each essay and write a fresh draft.  If you insist on cutting and pasting, make sure that you have adapted your essay so that it is as tailored to the second school as is was to the first school.

7.  Make sure that each essay supports your marketing strategy.  While you want to answer the question, make sure that your answer reinforces your admissions pitch.  For example, Chicago asks you to describe 3 people that you would invite to dinner. When you answer this, make sure that your selection criteria reinforces your career goals or interests in a way that will help you stand out to the admissions committee.

8.  Make sure that the combination of your essays supports your strategy.  Since many people work intensely on essays one at a time, they may have forgotten to review what they wrote about in another essay.  Take care to read drafts of the essays all in one sitting to make sure that the essays complement each other.

9.  Make sure that the marketing in the essays matches the story the recommenders are writing. It doesn't help if you want to do A,B, and C, but your recommender says you want to do X,Y, and Z.  This is why you want to finish a good draft of your career goals essay and give a copy to your recommenders...so that they can support your story.

10. Try to adhere to the essay word lengths. Admissions committees have to read a lot of essays.  Do not make their work harder because you did not follow their instructions. Most schools will tolerate 10% over the limit.  However, only go over if your material is so compelling that it warrants breaking this rule.  For most applicants, please adhere to the word limits.

siebel · 发表于 2003-8-22 07:56:00

chipmunk,避暑精品！

tsljz · 发表于 2003-8-26 12:32:00

Top 10 Business School Essay Tips from EssayEdge

1. Don't Use Company Jargon.
As a prospective business student, you have probably spent the past few years in a corporate environment with its own in-house terminology. Remember that you are writing for a reader who hasn't attended your company's meetings or contributed to its products. You should certainly describe various aspects of your professional life--your leadership skills, your career trajectory, your triumph in the face of obstacles, and so on--but do so in language that is as accessible to your reader as it is to you. Imagine that you are composing a document for a customer who must decide whether to buy a particular product: you. Write clearly and personably.

2. Don't Bore the Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and they must often skim. Abstract rumination has no place in an application essay. Admissions officers aren't looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking for a new way to view you, the applicant. The best way to grip your reader is to begin the essay with a captivating snapshot. Notice how the blunt, jarring "after" sentence creates intrigue and keeps the reader's interest.

Before: I am a compilation of many years of experiences gained from overcoming the relentless struggles of life.

After: I was six years old, the eldest of six children in the Bronx, when my father was murdered.

3. Do Use Personal Detail. Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal detail. They do not merely assert "I learned my lesson" or that "these lessons are useful both on and off the field." They show it through personal detail. "Show, don't tell" means that if you want to relate a personal quality, do so through your experiences without merely asserting it.

Before: If it were not for a strong support system which instilled into me strong family values and morals, I would not be where I am today.

After: Although my grandmother and I didn't have a car or running water, we still lived far more comfortably than did the other families I knew. I learned an important lesson: My grandmother made the most of what little she had, and she was known and respected for her generosity. Even at that age, I recognized the value she placed on maximizing her resources and helping those around her.

The first example is vague and could have been written by anybody. But the second sentence evokes a vivid image of something that actually happened, placing the reader in the experience of the applicant.

4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also confuses the important ideas you're trying to convey. Short sentences are more forceful because they are direct and to the point. Certain phrases, such as "the fact that," are usually unnecessary. Notice how the revised version focuses on active verbs rather than forms of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives.

Before: My recognition of the fact that the project was finally over was a deeply satisfying moment that will forever linger in my memory.

After: Completing the project at last gave me an enduring sense of fulfillment.

5. Do Address Your Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on Them.
At some point on your application, you will have an opportunity to explain deficiencies in your record, and you should take advantage of it. Be sure to explain them adequately: "I partied too much to do well on tests" will not help your application. The best tactic is to spin the negatives into positives by stressing your attempts to improve; for example, mention your poor first-quarter grades briefly, then describe what you did to bring them up.

Before: My grade point average provides an incomplete evaluation of my potential and of the person I am today, since it fails to reveal my passion and determined spirit which make me unique and an asset to the _______ School of Business.

After: Though my overall grade point average was disappointing, I am confident that the upward trend in my undergraduate transcript will continue in business school. Furthermore, my success on the GMAT and in the corporate world since graduation reinforces my conviction that I have a keen business sense--one that I hope to develop at the _______ School of Business.

tsljz · 发表于 2003-8-26 12:33:00

6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any given paragraph. Also, remember that transition is not limited to words like nevertheless, furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from the natural thought progression of your argument.

Before: I started playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I began to love music.

After: I started playing the piano at the age of eight. As I learned to play more difficult pieces, my appreciation for music deepened.

7. Do Use Active Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the subject receives the action expressed in the verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word to be, such as was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem flat and uninteresting.

Before: The lessons that have prepared me for my career as an executive were taught to me by my mother.

After: My mother taught me lessons that will prove invaluable in my career as an executive.

8. Do Seek Multiple Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in mind:

Does my essay have one central theme?
Does my introduction engage the reader? Does my conclusion provide closure?
Do my introduction and conclusion avoid summary?
Do I use concrete experiences as supporting details?
Have I used active-voice verbs wherever possible?
Is my sentence structure varied, or do I use all long or short sentences?
Are there any clichés, such as "cutting-edge" or "learned my lesson"?
Do I use transitions appropriately?
What about the essay is memorable?
What's the worst part of the essay?
What parts of the essay need elaboration or are unclear?
What parts of the essay do not support my main argument?
Is every single sentence crucial to the essay? This must be the case.
What does the essay reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the application essay into a complete autobiography. Not surprisingly, they find it difficult to pack so much information into such a short essay, and their essays end up sounding more like a list of experiences than a coherent, well-organized thought. Make sure that every sentence in your essay exists solely to support one central theme.

10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut, and cut some more. EssayEdge.com's free admissions essay help course and Harvard-educated editors will be invaluable as you polish your essay to perfection. The EssayEdge.com free help course guides you through the entire essay-writing process, from brainstorming worksheets and question-specific strategies for the twelve most common essay topics to a description of ten introduction types and editing checklists.

leeciao · 发表于 2003-8-26 20:20:00

都是好咚咚亚

psycheyaoyao · 发表于 2006-11-26 15:23:00

好老的帖子啊,怎么都没有看过,我要好好学习一下

hummel · 发表于 2006-11-30 15:21:00

thanks both yo two, great job!

涟漪 · 发表于 2007-10-23 23:05:00

谢谢！

[推荐]Essay tips:Ten Do's and Don'ts for Your Application Essay

[推荐]Essay tips:Ten Do's and Don'ts for Your Application Essay

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