how to write new AAB2 - AA New2 New11

The following appeared in an editorial from a magazine produced by an organization dedicated to environmental protection:

“In order to effectively reduce the amount of environmental damage that industrial manufacturing plants cause, those who manage the plants must be aware of the specific amount and types of damage caused by each of their various manufacturing processes. However, few corporations have enough financial incentive to monitor this information. In order to guarantee that corporations reduce the damage caused by their plants, the federal government should require every corporation to produce detailed annual reports on the environmental impact of their manufacturing process, and the government should impose stiff financial penalties for failure to produce these reports.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . .etc.

My two cents.

New AA 11

1. casual oversimplification. Author unfairly assumes that city counsil's negect of the improverished railroad flats was determined solely on fund. But author provides no evidence to support it.

2. Author's solution also rests on the assumption that the construction of a professional football stadium is sufficient to help the neighborhood develop a thriving economy. However, other fators, such as frequency of the football game, prevalence of the football in the city, also determine the ultimate success of the plan.

Open to discussion

New AA 2,

1. Producing detailed annual reports on the environmental impact of their manufacturing process doesn't necessary guarantee that corporations will take the steps to actually reduce the damage. Author provides no sufficient evidence to support that the federal goverment's goal will be met.

2. There is no benchmark for the plant manager to determine how much damage the plants should reduce. Without such benchmark, differnt plants may act different, and thereby may not necessarily achieve the federal goverment's goal.

3. Author unfairly assumes that annual report is sufficient for the plants to assess the environmental impact of their manufacturing process. However, some environment damage may be severe enough within a year and requird to take immediately steps. ...

AA11: 4楼的意见很中肯，我的：

1、Gratuitous Assumption: 作者认为，只要build up the stadium，就会有球赛，就能够thrive the economy。当地设施的简陋，当地可能没有那么多居民，服务业也跟不上，所以可能没有人愿意在当地办球赛，而且很可能会亏本，恶化当地经济。

Meanwhile，considering 足球赛的特殊性，如果没有完善的设施和良好的管理，球迷的冲突很有可能恶化当地的社会安定，have bad influence on the society and economic. So many factors have to been taken into consideration.

2、sweep generalization.: 作者neglect other ways and factors that influence the location decision of business,and how about the other ideas which can help to incent the business to locate in the town? The author has to compare those potential plans more analysis needed to be conducted before the decision made

AA2 完全同意5楼的观点，对第3点进行补充：

3、...; and some other pollutions maybe seem no harm to the environment in a short term, but the impact will be unrepairable in a long run, which will be ignored, deliberately or not, by those manufacturing plants.

inspired by the analysis, thanks so much