TWE171 (Select one thing to take during a trip)Plz correct my essay~ thx a lot~

This essay is hard for me... I can't think out 3 reasons to support my standpoint, and I feel some sentences are strange... Plz correct it and let me know whether they are right or not. Thanks your help in advance.

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171 Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

What is the only one additional thing that I want to take when I prepare for a trip for one year? Depending personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, some people may choose to take a handy video recorder; on the other hand, some people might select to bring their pet to go together. However, as far as I am concerned, I would like to bring my favorite camera to go with me. Among countless factors which affect me to choose the camera, I would discuss several conspicuous aspects of them.

The main reason why I want to bring my camera is that I want to utilize it to record all my details during the trip. The camera can capture each valuable and priceless moment of mine and help me catch each person I met, all kinds of foods I ate, and those spectacular scenery I saw. In contrast to text and video, I prefer to use a camera to write my diary because I think images can show the feelings of each transient moment which cannot be replaced by other methods. Therefore, it is always my best choice to have a trip with my camera.

The second reason can be seen by every person is that when I come back from the trip, I can recall my special experiences from the pictures I took then.(請問上面這句這樣可以嗎？用when來帶出主要及從屬子句) Besides, I can share all occurrences in my trip with my friends through these vivid pictures. Through these pictures, when I speak to them, they can see what the food I ate is like and how attractive the scenery I saw is.(上面這句我覺得怪怪的...可是我只有想的出這樣的寫法... ) Even after many years, once I see these pictures, all what I experienced and did during the trip must be reappearing in my mind. I always feel satisfied with those unforgettable memories.

To sum up, I would like to bring my camera to have a trip with me because it can record all my moments during the trip and help me record those vivid memories. Whenever I have a trip, never do I forget to bring my camera. Therefore, this time is also no exception.

haha...

please post the information about the topic with essay. otherwise, it is difficult to judge how well you respend to the requirement.

sorry... I forgot to paste it... I have reposted it. Thanks a lot~

我怎么看到是填空式作文的开头就觉得不好呢？可能是个人感觉吧。呵呵。

我觉得你的两个理由是重复的。

你可以说相机携带很方便，可以放到口袋里，不用像小动物那样要喂食，也不用担心相机会得病死掉，让你伤心。

你还可以说你的相机很漂亮，很酷，有什么什么特殊功能，可以拍出什么什么特效的照片。

因為功力太差...為求高分...只好先用Template....

感謝你的建議～

因為我一看題目是說要去一年的旅行，要帶什麼...

我直覺就是要很重要或很實用的，要想些很有力的例子...真的很難ㄝ...

這篇我真的覺得好難喔...又要字數多... 真的不容易 for me la...

this essay is not so good as the first one. the voculbury repeats too frequently, and sentence structure is invaried.

are you trying a new writing style?

Thank guandream for correcting my essay again. ^_^

When I write this essay, I am really hard to write it... Because I can't find sufficient and powerful reasons for proving why I decide to take a camera. So I feel this essay is really terrible..

Thank for your help. I think I need more and more practice...  GOGO~~