(AA14,AI9)第一次写作文，请大家往狠了批

29号考试，第一次写作文，时间没有超，就是有点紧张，不停地写
欢迎大家给我提意见，比如字数,模版之类的，万分感谢

再发一次，前面好像太小了，看不清

14.The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial.

“Two years ago Nova
                    High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

In this statement the author reaches the conclusion that other school should copy Nova
                    High School in adopting interactive computer instruction throughout the classes and next year Nova should invest more in computer. Several reasons are offered in support in his point of view. The basis for this argument is that with interactive computer instruction, the school has lower drop rate. What’s more the writer points out that last year’s graduates reported some great accomplishment in college. This piece of article suffers several critical flaws that seriously undermine the conclusion, and accordingly is not very thoroughly well-reasoned. The main groundless lines of reasoning will be discussed respectively.

Firstly the author draws the conclusion in assuming that computer instruction is the cause of dropout rate just because the they coincided with each other. Unfortunately a mere positional correlation does not necessarily prove a causal relationship. Plausible as the causal claim is, further possible explanations must be considered and ruled out. For example, more experienced teachers newly-hired might responsible for the decline and the report of achievement. As a result, the author’s failure to investigate, even consider other possible explanation might render the conclusion highly suspect.

Secondly the author’s conclusion rests on the assumption that any other school is analogous to Nova in all aspects. The reasoning is fallacious because even though they share much similarity, they do not have the same trait offered in the conclusion. In fact there are points of dissimilarity between them. For instance, other schools have already had other equipment better than interactive computer instruction. If so adopting computer instruction will only harm the their dropout rate.

Thirdly the writer moves from previous experience to the current estimation in assuming that all remain the same over extended period of time and the same true from place to place. However, the author never indicates that nothing changes in different time or location. For instance, if next year Nova has no enough money to accommodate student, in spite of more interactive computer instruction will not be able to prevent an increasing dropout rate. Unless the argument can prove that nothing except for number of computer instruction changes next year, we can not conclude that more investment in it the following year will lead to a decline in dropout rate again.

In sum the author’s conclusion lacks logical credibility because of the absence of a full spectrum of evidence, and accordingly the data cited do not lend a strong support to what he/she claims.

I would suspend my judgment about the conclusion until more convincing data are provided that all factors will remain the same next year. What’s more, before we accept the conclusion the writer should present more substantial evidence to prove that all other schools are analogous to Nova in all traits inferred in the conclusion.

(字数 468)

9“Employees should keep their private lives and personal activities as separate as possible from the workplace.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

As to whether people should keep their personal activities and private lives from the workplace, different people hold different opinions. To some extent I agree with authors assertion that employees should keep them as separate as possible from the company. This is not to suggest that the opposite view be totally abandoned. Rational analyses lead me support the writer’s assertion on the condition that the private activities disturb the efficiency in the office and harms the relationship among colleagues-namely that we should not take an extreme view on the issue while overlooking other compelling factors. My points of view involve the analyses as discussed below.

On one hand, I would like to claim that the assertion suffer some flaws it nourishes some merits in the light of common sense and experience in our daily life. So it is partially persuasive. Involvement of the personal activities unavoidably take up some time that otherwise belongs to our work. At the same time, we should share some of our energy to them. For instance if we make private calls during our office hours, we can not concentrate ourselves on the job and will be frequently interrupted by calls from our parents or children. Instances of the same sort could be multiplied indefinitely, but this will suffice.

Another reason for me to develop my point of view is that personal activities might harm the relationship among our colleagues and accordingly decrease the efficiency of the team as a whole. A good example could be found in the case that two males in the office fall in love with the same girl. During their daytime, one male might be angry about the date of the other with the girl, and it is possible that this male is unwilling to cooperate with the other man. As a result, the job of the team will be disturbed. Moreover, the atmosphere in the office is so unfriendly that will influence other employees. Under this situation, it is obvious that there are certain effects if we involve our own stuff during the office hour.

On other hand, realizing that a more rational and accurate judgment needs to incorporate different aspects of the view as adequately as possible, I have to point out that the author overlooking some specific circumstance and accordingly the view is too extreme on the view. It might have been recognized by many people that sometimes talking about some privacy will lead to some improvement. For example if our boss asks us about the plan for Christmas, we will feel that the company is so considerate that we will start a work-day with a good mood. As a result, while enjoying some advantages, the assertion does not apply to some situation appropriately.

In sum, the issue of whether we should keep their personal activities and private lives from the workplace is contingent of specific conditions, requiring objective judgment; therefore there are no certain answers. Based on my analyses, the best solution is the conduct negative impacts of it with sensible considerations of other certain situations to achieve optimal outcomes. Therefore, according to me, we should avoid involving private activities in most of work-time while sometimes talking about them to enhance the overall morale.  (字数537)