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(AI07)大家一起来写作:帮助别人题

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楼主
发表于 2007-6-2 16:43:00 | 只看该作者

(AI07)大家一起来写作:帮助别人题

请大家Share一下大家的提纲,如果能写下更多的东西更好了.

也请大家帮我斧正斧正我的拙作.

The best way to give advice to other people is to find out what they want and then advise them how to attain it.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experiences, observations, or reading.

My Point: The best way to give advice to other people is to find out what they want and then advise them how to attain it.

My Syllabus:

1 In order to advise people, we must first find out what they exactly want. This is the very beginning of giving advice or help to people.

2 After learning about what people want, we advise them how to attain it.

My Essay

“With great power comes great responsibility.” Peter Parker has kept in mind what Uncle Ben said to him ever since he became the Spiderman. He saves people in danger and helps policemen to arrest the criminals. We do not have to become the Spider men but we could help people around us by simply giving them advice when they come to us. I believe the best way to give advice to others is to find out what they want first and then advise them how to attain it.

In order to advise people, we must, in the first place, find out what they exactly want. This is the very first step of giving our advice to them. Giving advice to other people is just like giving prescription to the patients by a doctor. Before a doctor prescribes medicines to his patients, he or she must first learn what exactly the problems are by judging from what his or her patients describe about their symptoms or what X-ray copies show. A doctor would not be trusted by, or may even scare, his or her patients when he or she gives them prescription without learning the problems. Similarly, when we try to give other people our advice in order to help them, we must first find out what they want or what their problems are.

After learning about what people want, we advise them how to attain it. A doctor could give his or her advice to the patients and provide some prescription after he or she learns about the problems of the patients. He or she may give some anti-biotic pills to those patients when their lungs have been affected by some bacteria. He or she may further suggest that the patients should stop smoking at least temporarily and take more excises, such as jogging or playing basketball, after they recover to strengthen their physics. When we try to advise people, we also may provide some ideas about our understanding of their problems and share with those people our personal or others’ experience when we or others confronted the same problems. Since we could prove the advice were workable when we or others faced the similar situation, those people who come to us for advice must better trust us and eventually have their ways out.

In one word, the best way to give advice to others is to find out what their problems or what they want first and then advise them how to get out the difficulties or achieve their goals. I believe that Peter Parker, or the Spiderman, could better improve the situation of our society when he takes off the mask by simply giving his advice to those people after he learns what problems lie.



沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2007-6-2 16:44:00 | 只看该作者
481 words
板凳
发表于 2007-6-2 18:59:00 | 只看该作者
Peter Parker 楼主是怎么认识的,怎么我都不认识。。汗,医生的例子很好,但是两段都用这个不知道好不好,反正比我写的作文要好
地板
发表于 2007-6-3 17:05:00 | 只看该作者

1和2之间可以加入一段

如果没找到对方所需要的,贸然帮助往往适得其反,比如心理上对方不愿接受,或者你觉得对方不喜欢说话,其实对方只是不愿意理你罢了...

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-6-3 19:31:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用rio在2007-6-3 17:05:00的发言:

1和2之间可以加入一段

如果没找到对方所需要的,贸然帮助往往适得其反,比如心理上对方不愿接受,或者你觉得对方不喜欢说话,其实对方只是不愿意理你罢了...

en, not bad. Thanks.
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-6-3 19:32:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用qianrene在2007-6-2 18:59:00的发言:
Peter Parker 楼主是怎么认识的,怎么我都不认识。。汗,医生的例子很好,但是两段都用这个不知道好不好,反正比我写的作文要好

Peter Parker 就是我们穷人的偶像啊, 蜘蛛侠啊!

呵呵.

大家分享下你们的提纲吧.

7#
发表于 2007-6-7 22:09:00 | 只看该作者
感觉蜘蛛侠的例子不够合适,这个和题目有偏离,蜘蛛侠是在危难中解救别人,而不是帮助别人实现自己的理想和目标;然后医生的例子第二段感觉有偏离,遇到的困难将追求理想的人的能力结合在一起是不是更好?仅供参考!
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-6-8 20:20:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用happyapt2006在2007-6-7 22:09:00的发言:
感觉蜘蛛侠的例子不够合适,这个和题目有偏离,蜘蛛侠是在危难中解救别人,而不是帮助别人实现自己的理想和目标;然后医生的例子第二段感觉有偏离,遇到的困难将追求理想的人的能力结合在一起是不是更好?仅供参考!

谢谢! 不过,这里是说帮助别人啊,没有说实现梦想之类的.

9#
发表于 2007-11-17 10:28:00 | 只看该作者

感觉这篇文章里,用了太多的he or she,按照做sc的原则,好像不太好

10#
发表于 2009-7-30 21:10:00 | 只看该作者

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