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(AA38)勇敢的把我的一篇AA给贴出来!! - AA 38

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楼主
发表于 2006-12-5 23:36:00 | 只看该作者

(AA38)勇敢的把我的一篇AA给贴出来!! - AA 38

38. The following appeared in the editorial section of a campus newspaper.

Because occupancy rates for campus housing fell during the last academic year, so did housing revenues. To solve the problem, campus housing officials should reduce the number of available housing units, thereby increasing the occupancy rates. Also, to keep students from choosing to live off-campus, housing officials should lower the rents, thereby increasing demand.”

Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

Because occupancy rates for campus housing fell during the last academic year, in the argument, the author suggests that campus housing officials reduce the number of available housing units thereby increasing the occupancy rates and lower the rents thereby increasing demand.  At the first blush, the conclusion seems to be somewhat appealing. By means of comprehensive review, we can, however find that the conclusion is using several arbitrary assumptions and that the reasoning is biased in virtue of inadequacy and partiality in nature of evidence provided to substantiate the claim. The conclusion which is fraud with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims is problematic in three respects.

To begin with, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the reduction of occupancy rates and the reduction of housing revenues. He just makes a dubious assumption that the occupancy rates for campus housing fell during the last academic year is the reason why housing revenues fell. However, the author does not provide additional to rule out other factors, thus, he can not bolster his conclusion.

In addition, does the strategy that campus housing officials reduce the number of available housing units is sufficient to solve such a problem? Nevertheless, it is not the case. One obvious rejoinder to this line of the reasoning is that the reduction of the number reduce the number of available housing units might not increase the occupancy rates. On one hand, the fact why the students do not rent is that they unsatisfied the surroundings. On the other hand, if the officials take measures, they will make loss in the next seminal when a large number of students are enrolled. It is presumptuous on the part of author to make such a suggestion.

Moreover, the author's allegation rests on that lowering the rents might stimulate demand. However, we have no evidence to show that the demand will increase. He neglects something else to make such an unwarranted conclusion. First, the author assumes that only the price affects the demand. Second, lacking additional information is offered to sustain the reasoning, thus leaving the possibility that several factors other than the rents do have impact on the demand. Perhaps the buildings are so poor that students are reluctant to rent, or perhaps it is not so convenient.

Based on the reasons I have listed, the conclusion is a confusion of weak assumptions, mixed issues and unwarranted claims. The author should establish the cause-effect connection .To consolidate more, he should provide other evidence to rule out other factors and locate the real reasons as well. Unless the author does so, we can not accept such a sweeping generalization that campus housing officials should not only reduce the number of available housing units but also lower the rents.

这是我写的第三篇了,开头结尾是模板,中间就自己天马行空了,有几个句子是背的。。写好后看了下基本上没有什么拼写错误就不知道从那里下手了~~所以,我要勇敢的把我的作文给贴出来!哪里写的不好或者哪里思维混乱拜托大家指点!!

毕竟,只有通过不断的与大家探讨才能够进步!!



沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2006-12-5 23:38:00 | 只看该作者

welcome everyone to show your opinion!!

板凳
发表于 2006-12-6 21:51:00 | 只看该作者

对To begin with的理由有点异议:

作者的首句意思是:入住率降低了,收入也一样。我认为并没有因果的关系,...., so did...表示同样...不是因为所以。所以,楼主对这个因果的反驳可能是不成立的。

你觉得呢?

感觉楼主的语言功底很好,单词挺丰富的说。


[此贴子已经被作者于2006-12-6 21:51:27编辑过]
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2006-12-6 23:00:00 | 只看该作者

哦!!谢谢斑竹!!!嘿嘿~昨天晚上看到这个讨论贴了,我也在思考是否能够反驳的住...看来确实是我理解有误了...

 

其他还有什么要改正的么?我觉得我写得很pure..就是感觉就像小学生的作文一样~~~

 

今天上专业课的时候总算把30篇的AI的提纲给看了一下...还要继续动脑筋!!

 

谢谢你哦!!!!!!!!!!

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