(AI40)一篇新的AI

40 `With the increasing emphasis on a global economy and international cooperation, people need to understand that their role as citizens of the world is more important than their role as citizens of a particular country.~

The issue at hand, whether people's citizenships of the world are more important than those of a particular country, has in fact such a complex nature that in my point of view the argument is overly simplistic and the arguer unnecessarily extend his broad assertion to a irreversible extreme. My acceptance and contention with the arguer, on the whole, involve the basic and deep discussion as follows.

First of all, I agree with the author up to the point that people's role as citizens of the world becomes more and more important in this global village. Both common sense and experience of our daily life informs us that every nation's actions are likely to give some effect to other nations because the world are becoming more and more closely integrated. For example, the greenhouse effect are influencing all nations. Therefore, all people in the world need to combine their efforts together to solve this problem. In such situation, it is partially indisputable that people's role as citizens of the world is quite crucial.

In addition, I have to point out that the arguer’s conclusion amounts to an overstatement and fails to take into account other factors. The most compelling argument I find is that people's role as citizens of a country are beneficial to our world. One need not go far to see this point: a survey conducted in China reveals that many companies and corporations will consider the interests of their nations. For example, whether their behaviors might bring pollution to the environment in this region or put harmful effects on the citizens living in this country. If do, they might not take this action. When protecting the environment and citizens in their own country, they also protect the global environment and all the citizens in the world.

Admittedly, it is probably true that in some certain situations people's citizenships of a country might intervene with their citizenships of the world. For example, sometimes the nations interest might sacrifice the other nations' interests. However, this alone can not constitute a sufficient support to the claim that people's citizenships of the world are more important than those of the country. This case is not common and can be avoided and hence is too weak to support the claim. One should not be confused and should realize the constituted role played by people's role as citizens of a country.

In sum ,by taking all the factors discussed above, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that this arguer's assertion is specious at best. In my point of view, while people's role as citizens of the world becomes more and more important, people's role as citizens of a country are beneficial to our world. Nowadays more and more people are sharing the same belief as me.

用新的摸板，换了种写法，大家看看这样写可以吗？会不会不符合逻辑

几点建议：嗬嗬

1、每段的开沟有点argument地味道:I agree with the author up to the point that...I have to point out the arguer's conclusion... 最后一段也存在这种情况。不是说一定不好，这也是种表示的方式。但Essay是看我们能不能说清楚自己的观点对吗？我觉得更好的方法是把the author（其实并不存在，题目只有一个论断，而不是像argu一样有一个反方）去掉，然后把自己的想法，用客观的肯定句写出来。比如：

First of all, Without any doubt, people's role as citizens of the world becomes more and more important in this global village.

In addition, we shouldn't overstate the role we play as the citizen of the world,  however, fail to take into account other important factors.

（我个人的论点是：In addition, the obligation as a citizen of the world , however, doesnt' necessarily outweigh /overwhelm the obligatory responsibility as a citizen of one's own nation.) 理由跟你的一样。

2、第2段这句话好像有点问题：

i) The most compelling argument I find is that people's role as citizens of a country are beneficial
            can also benefit the world, simultantly. OR  are of significant benefits to the world, at the same time.

ii) One need not go far to see this point: a survey conducted in China reveals that many companies and corporations will consider the interests of their nations.

这句话套魔板套的生硬：the point 和 a survey reveals that...出现了不一致的情况。可以分成两句：...far to see the point: 观点, which is also proved by a survey conducted in China recently.  或者把冒号前的去掉：直接说，For instance, according to a survey .....+ 观点.