“Education has become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. Just as property and money once were the keys to success, education has now become the element that most ensures success in life.”
In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.
What is the most important element to ensure success in life? This issue recently raises substantive amount of debate over it. However, as complicated and controversial the issue is, no universal answer can be generated. Distinct backgrounds render different people with diverse conceit against it. When it comes to my point of view, I incline not to keep accordance with the author to some extent that education is the key to success. My opinion can be corroborated in the following discussions,
It is generally acknowledged that without superior education background people can still be quite successful and the story of Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft kingdom, is a wonderful example to buttress it. As a college drop-out, we can assert that he has no strong education background confidently, but he inaugurated the realm of Microsoft, introduced the more personalized operating system, innovated the new era of personal computer and inhabited the position of wealthiest person in the world for more than a decade, all of which undoubtedly sustain his success. Education background is a sufficient premise to success but not a necessary one, sometimes talent, opportunity, character and other factors count for much more.
In addition, too much education sometimes make people become geek or nerd who can not communicate smoothly with other or become too dogmatic to convert what he had leaned into the real world situation thus all his education can bring nothing beneficial to him. To illustrate this point, we can look at the recruiting process of most business companies which include both objective information such as a candidate's resume and education, and personal interview which most times overweight the former one. Ever year(Every day), lots of masters or PH.D lost their ground in job market to people who only hold a college degree but have much empirical experience primarily because of their (这里their应当指的是前者拥有master的,但个人觉得你还是写明的好,因为这里的their可能指代产生歧义,产生指代后者了。貌似语法改错中就经常出现的毛病还是不要出现的好) naive idea about the real world.
Admittedly, education is the momentum of the improvement of our society. The former Chinese present(present???) Deng Xiaoping once said: technology is the first productive force. Without a sound education background, one individual can not master adequate knowledge to suffice the requirement of his job let alone create any opportunities lead to the ultimate success. However, this alone does not constitute a sufficient support to the claim that education is the key element of success, other factors should be equally considered.(这句话缺少连词,就有问题了,变成两句句子用一个逗号相连了)
To conclude, though there is no easy solution to such a complex issue, taking into account all the aforementioned dimensions might be the first step out of the dilemma. The above reasons, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any single of them, can be confidently cited to illustrate that though education weights lot in determine whether a person can be successful it is not the key element, complex factors counteract with each other and only the best scenario can lead to the glorious success.
厉害,483个字,如果能够在半小时内写出来,那就很厉害了,楼主写的很好,反正很多用词都很好,而且没有什么错误,观点也很好……反正我是不如楼主拉,所以看lz文章就是一种仰望的心态,小弟不才,挑了几个小小的错误出来,不知道对不对。如果楼主觉得有什么不对的地方,也可以反驳我,我也好提高提高。 |